February 6th, 2013

Private Eye: Now Two Months Past Its Sell-By-Date

While Guido would like to thank Private Eye for their kind words about his new column in the Sun, he couldn’t help noticing the remarkable similarity between their excellent story about PriceWaterhouseCooper and the very same story that ran, just two months ago, on this blog.

Are the two connected?

We should be told…

Lord Gnome’s perennially outdated organ was two weeks past its sell by date last time Guido checked, now they are two months behind the times. Today’s issue reports on the hypocrisy of Ed Balls and Chuka Umunna taking on staffers from PricewaterhouseCooper. Back in December Guido first exclusively revealed the very same fact that PwC analysts were working for Balls and also in Chuka’s offices. Two months behind, to the day.

You’re either in front of Guido, or you’re Private Eye…


  1. 1
  2. 2
    Centre Parting says:

    Has E.J.Thribb already written his own obituary?

  3. 3
    Pythagorus says:

    Yes but PE is very useful for me, and others like me, who do not have a computer, and even if we had, would never have the slightest idea how to use one.

  4. 4
    SP4BS says:

    Sue them, close them down.

    What have they ever done for democracy.

  5. 5
    Billericay Dickey says:

    Who cares?

    Just celebrate the dawning of the glorious age of sodomy, thanks to our great leader, Bumsex Dave.

  6. 6
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    Guido – should behave himself!

    PE may be slightly behind the times, but covers far more stories than Guido and I suspect also has a rather larger audience. Not everybody has a computer and many may not have hours to waste sitting at a computer trying to keep up all day and half the night with the comments on here. There is life outside the blogosphere! And, generally unlike Guido, PE can be read at leisure on the train etc.

    Both PE and Guido have a part to play in keeping the public abreast of political, financial and lots of other unmentionable skullduggery going on, so both should perhaps co-operate a little and just get the stories out. Lots of us on here read both, so thanks to all concerned and please both keep up the good work.

  7. 7
    Anonymous says:

    Sad thing is, most people are in front of Guido these days.

  8. 8

    Guido has 4 million readers every Sunday.

  9. 9
    annoyed user says:

    These little anti private eye rants are seriously childish Guido. Perhaps you should grow up.

  10. 10
    Pollys Love Child says:

    30% of a page? Hardly. It’s a third of one of three columns on a page and is approximately 20 very short lines of text.

    And I notice you don’t deny what they printed.

  11. 11
    yeah, right... says:

    Agreed. And Mr Hislop has a better face for television.

  12. 12
    skippy says:

    may I humbly suggest that Madame pusscat buys a tablet, which would enable you to read this august website whilst on the train.

  13. 13

    The jokes and cartoons in Private Eye aren’t very funny either. Or at least, not as good as they were.

  14. 14
    yeah, right... says:

    Albeit of the Sun and Star. Lot’s of them may only be looking at the pictures.

    Just sayin’.

  15. 15

    There are two attacking articles, you missed the other one.

  16. 16

    They started it.

  17. 17
    SLR says:

    Try concentrating on attacking the right people, maybe. Internecine fighting between like-intentioned satirists and commentators serves no purpose except to stroke the personal egos of the individuals involved. As readers we don’t much care what you think about each other, only that you continue to try and expose politicians for all the crap they try and pull. This is pathetic, and beneath both PE and Guido, engaging in this sort of petty competition.

  18. 18
  19. 19
    Private Eyer says:

    You invaded Poland

  20. 20
    Well it's a thought maybe says:

    I think PE and this blog are needed desperately to shine a light on the lies and corruption of these people who are really working to provide comfort for themselves at the expense of us plebs, time is getting closer when even the English pleb is finding what’s happening is unacceptable.

  21. 21
    yeah, right... says:

    They did and it’s a discredit to them.

    The fact is, whether it’s print or blog, the more outlets we have for exposing the thieves, liars and hypocrites who run government, local authorities, big corporates, NHS trusts etc etc, the better.

    You are both on the same side. Play nicely.

  22. 22
    Alan Rusbridger, pianist says:

    Today I will be mostly playing Tell Me The Old Old Story.

  23. 23
    SLR says:

    Or I could just stop reading. I’m pretty fair minded, and I think both sides here need to grow up. Even if PE “started it”, sometimes someone needs to be the bigger person. This sort of thing only detracts from the good work both PE and Guido have done and continue to do.

  24. 24
    Ex long term Tory supporter says:

    I’ve personally joined UKIP this morning.

    There is no point in supporting the Conservative Party anymore, as Dave and his Government have abandoned basic Tory principles.

    The National Debt is doubling to circa £1.4 trillion during this Parliament

    Now, as the “last straw”, they have promoted Gay Marriage, which was not in the 2010 Manifesto.

    Come on Folks! Now is the moment! Leave the Conservative Party.

  25. 25
    Pollys Love Child says:

    Ah found the other one.

    Nice to see you’re “huffing” and “sneering”…..I’ve never known Mr Hislop to do that!

  26. 26
    Billericay Dickey says:

    Apparently PE are trying to tempt Mark and Rich over with big money.

    They would be a terrible loss.

  27. 27
    Billericay Dickey says:

    You sound rather anally retentive.

    Live a little and get with the zeitgeist – let bumsex rule the day.

  28. 28
    Get a life you unfunny person says:

    Not taken your pills again TwAT.

  29. 29

    You’re censored

  30. 30
    yeah, right... says:

    You, Sir, are John Prescott and I claim my £100.00

  31. 31
    Wotak Hunt says:

    He’s senseless, more like.

  32. 32
    Catch me if you can big boy says:

    Just think when plod do a raid on the local men’s pissoir to catch the bum boys, the shouts will now be he’s my husband, he’s my wife leave him alone, the courts will be a better bet than buying Private Eye for the comedy.

  33. 33

    Guido ignored the first 5 articles. Time for them to taste their own medicine.

  34. 34
    The Stilton Eater says:

    Close the door behind you please.

    UKIP are the refuge of homophobe losers and fringe nutters. If two people want to get married, let them. The state should not rule on these private arrangements.

  35. 35
    Calamity Clegg says:

  36. 36
    damned impertinent questions says:

    ….but Private Eye is a lot funnier

  37. 37
    The Stilton Eater says:

    4 million for the sport, celebrities and the fruity jugs. I suspect 40 people read the political column.

  38. 38
    UKID says:

    Agree. Legalise necrophilia next, please !

  39. 39
    ROGER MYBUTT says:

    My my, the magic mushrooms have ripened early this year

  40. 40
    ROGER MYBUTT says:

    Well that’s progress , you only went there last week !

  41. 41
    Alan Botney says:

    Hi! I’m a BBC exec who loves giving himself plum presenting jobs!

  42. 42
    yeah, right... says:


  43. 43
    Muzees says:

    To all muslims, I say: muhammad can suck a fart out of my arsehole.

  44. 44
    ROGER MYBUTT says:

    Guido’s very chatty this morning
    five or six replies already
    we don’t usually see that a day

  45. 45

    Don’t know but what is that smell in here after last night?

  46. 46
    Billericay Dickey says:

    The state just has.

  47. 47

    Better to unite in your shared hatred of corrupt politicians, the EU and Piers Morgan.

    I wouldn’t take on Private Eye, GF.

    If you do it won’t be long before there is an embarrassing snap of you lying drunk in the gutter beside a homeless person. Or in an embrace with Yvette Cooper when she’s looking exceptionally androgynous.

    And forever more on the letters page will be stories such as …

    I read about the success of the gay marriage vote in the papers and drunk myself into a delightful stupor. I may have overdone it. Does the editor have any pictures that may serve to illustrate the dangers of drinking to excess and hooking up with a young lady, who turns out to be called Keith?”

    On your head…

  48. 48
    tito says:

    i read both, Guido for the up-to-date news, especially via twitter.
    But PE is an indulgence I won’t be giving up quickly. Covers a great deal more than guido and is also incredibly witty.

    A little harmless toing and froing between the two is also quite amusing.

  49. 49
    Billericay Dickey says:

    Has absorbed the News International work ethic.

  50. 50
    a non says:

    You’re very ‘hand on’ this morning Guido.
    What gives?

  51. 51
    Longinus says:

    Am i wrong to be “Right”,as i find the latest wheeze,re-defining marriage,
    incompatible with my own definitions of marriage…
    I feel i’ve been stabbed in the side…

  52. 52
    Cell time says:

    ha ha ha

  53. 53
    Billericay Dickey says:

    I thought that they both aimed at different markets – isn’t PE for grown ups?

  54. 54
    disgustedoftunbridgewells says:


  55. 55
    Cell time says:

    with a crossword

  56. 56
    Billericay Dickey says:

    Get with the project grandad.

    We metrosexuals clustered around our glorious leader, Bumsex Dave, have moved on. Shitstabbing is the name of the game these days – it’s what the British public demand.

  57. 57
    Joe Public says:

    Brilliant cartoon Matt. You and Guido’s Mark are having a good week.

  58. 58
    Great British Public says:

    Dear Mr. Holeland,

    Please do one.

  59. 59
    Harry Hill says:

    Which is better – ‘The Sun’ or ‘Private Eye’ ?

    There’s only one way to find out….

  60. 60
    Paul Merton says:

    I always said Little Ian wasn’t very original.

  61. 61
  62. 62
    Anonymous says:

    Hislop’s just another BBC stooge.

  63. 63
    Anonymous says:

    Just a matter of time before they introduce the Bumsex Brigade into schools to replace the Cadets and Scouts.

  64. 64
    T'Old Fella says:

    The one thing P-E has a record number of injunctions which Guido would be very unlikely to match, P-E has to be sure of its story and not just publish on rumour and nudge-nudge, wink-wink. P-E is less partisan than Guido even though Guido has after various miscreants in the Tory party to give him credit, still Guido’s got his own agenda.

  65. 65
    A Theologian says:

    Guido, your spat with Private Eye is unedifying. It also borders on hubris. The fact is Guido that many of your readers are ahead of you on many details on many stories, as the comments sections here regularly attests.

    People do not read you just to be first all the time, just as they don’t read private Eye necessarily for breaking news – though the Eye has a better long term track record on that score than you seem to realise. The Eye is a trusted ‘brand’. Do not undermine it: your attempts to do so look like spite and actually tend to undermine you.

  66. 66

    Dear Mr Quango

    I tried to warn you about Keith last night but you do not seem to have noticed. He is the same Zmyanskyrilimilla of which you spoke. His thong runneth over.

    Did you get the brown envelope BTW? I gave it to Ludmila. She also took the envelope.



  67. 67
    Hugh Janus says:

    Quite so. While Guido and PE are trying to tear lumps out of each other, scum like Huhne will be delighted at the distraction from their wrongdoing.

  68. 68
    A British Taxpayer says:

    I demand abolition of the Common Agricultural Policy.

  69. 69
    Joe Public says:

    Only a man and a woman can be married. Any other combination is not marriage by definition.

    Same sex couples cannot be married. They can have Civil Partnerships which give them all necessary legal rights.

    Marriage is one of the bed rocks of our society, families, and for bringing up children.

  70. 70
  71. 71
    Reality says:


    Hislop plays the cheekie chappy, naughty schoolboy role, but understands how far he is allowed to go. He’s on message and basically, an establishment poodle.

  72. 72
    Synic says:

    You’re not fit to eat the King of Cheeses, you PC prat.

  73. 73
    Reader of both and proud of it says:

    And better, less tedious adverts

  74. 74
    Plato says:

    Private Eye is a shadow of what it used to be. The really hard-hitting stories just aren’t there any more. It’s full of gossip and tittle-tattle (to borrow a phrase).

    I’ve been reading it for 25 years. I remember the anticipation of who it was going to rip to pieces next week. Now it just doesn’t happen.

    I blame it on a few things:

    1. Hislop doesn’t give a sh*t. He’s literally an old fogey who is more interested in his other projects. And the next lunch.

    2. The staffers are also not young. They don’t have the thirst for blood that proper investigative journalism needs.

    3. The proprieter doesn’t understand what PE should be about, or it’s history. She inherited it from her husband and actually she doesn’t give a sh*t, either.

    4. The next big libel case(s) would shut it down. They won’t risk it.

    You’ll accuse me of sucking his c*ck, but I do think that Guido is more like the PE of old than PE is. But, of course, he’ll sell out in the end. They all do.

  75. 75
    pissed off voter says:

    fair comment

  76. 76
    Reader of both and proud of it says:

    Many of the witty commnets on here are by a handful of people, Guido. Piss us off and you won’t have a vibrant comments section. Without that, your column will shrivel and die remarkably fast.

  77. 77
    bergen says:

    Those of us of an older age will always regard PE with esteem and affection when it seemed alone in delving into the murk that those in power wished to leave undisturbed. I’ve not missed an edition for 35 years. The shed’s full of ‘em.

    You both ought to be on the same side generally. This is no time for friendly fire.

  78. 78
    local vet says:

    hes a sneering tosser whose organ had it’s day when there was no competition in the gutter

  79. 79
    Make Your Own Minds Up says:

    It didn’t take long, did it? I knew G was lying when he went to the House of Commons and claimed to be wealthy.

  80. 80
    Make Your Own Minds Up says:

    He is certainly much funnier

  81. 81
    yeah, right... says:

    By what definition? The one laid down by the various splinter cults of the Abrahamic religions?

    Their word may have been infalliable in the dark ages, but since the peasants have learned to read and write and (occasionally) think for themselves, the word of the bible, koran, torah hold less sway.

    Leave the gays to have their big weddings if they so choose (and you watch the CoE change their tune once parish vicars realise how much disposable income lots of gay couples have) and task this inept government to deal with more pressing issues.

  82. 82
    Longinus says:

    I’ve been dead for 2000yrs!!

  83. 83
  84. 84
    Riggsy Brown says:

    + 1 to everything A Theologian said. You’re coming across as petty-minded and petulant on this one, Paul. Which saddens me when I think about all the stellar work you’ve done.

  85. 85
    Synic says:

    Why didn’t Camoron attend the gay marriage debate?


  86. 86

    I think there may be two Zmyanskyrilimilla’s.

    The one in my office wears thongs of such slender silk that the gusset would make parcel string look fat.

    As for the brownie..many thanks.
    I have given little Bercow his cut, but that is no guarantee that one will be called. The PM sometimes trumps the offer.

    Please be advised there are no refunds but all money goes to good causes.

    {I love that vacuous phrase. There are no bad causes…}

  87. 87
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    To be ensure we have a balanced and full picture… how many stories does Private Eye run with before Guido does?

  88. 88
    Lord Stansted says:

    Ditto the 60’s “rebels” – alive or dead – Frost, Rushton, Levin, Oddie, Booker, Potter, etc., etc.

  89. 89
    Italian Dictionary says:

    This is a useful distraction from the fact that the tories have made themselves look a bit silly and unelectable, and that the country can expect another nasty dose of big state fascism from the Labour Party within the next two years.

  90. 90
    SP4BS says:

    And close down the strasbourg parliment.

    Stupid compromise for french vanity.

  91. 91

    Somewhere between what you say (on the one hand) and what Plato says below (on the other) lies the truth.

    The truth is of course rarely pure and never simple.

  92. 92
    Hugh Janus says:

    I now expect the Heir to Blair to announce with a fanfare that our rebate is non-negotiable…….and then to give most of it away shortly thereafter.

  93. 93
    Dave's Political Career says:

    Move over, make space for me.

  94. 94
    Italian Dictionary says:

    The use of the word ‘task’ is the giveaway. Fuck off back to where you came from you troughing Spad.

  95. 95

    Somewhere between what you say (on the one hand) and what A Theologian says above (on the other) lies the truth.

    The truth is of course rarely pure and never simple.

    As for your last two short sentences, who could blame him if he did? Not me.

  96. 96
    Joe Public says:

    Circulation, Dear Boy. Circulation.

  97. 97
    baaaaaa.. says:

    why wait ?

  98. 98
    Cowardly Bastards Society says:

    We do not wish to be associated with him, he’s too bad even for our disgusting standards.

  99. 99
  100. 100
    Anonymous says:

    Shut the door on your way out.

  101. 101
    Chris Huhne's cellmate says:

  102. 102
    Anonymous says:

    I demand a referendum on Britain’s EU membership.

  103. 103
    Lightswitch says:

    The Eye covers local government wrongdoings far more effectively than Guido has ever attempted.

  104. 104
    Have I got old news for you says:

    When are you gonna appear on HIGNFY Guido?

  105. 105
    Kebab News says:

    “Police investigating allegations of child abuse at a guest house in south-west London in the early 1980s have made their first arrests.

    The details have not yet been confirmed by the Metropolitan Police.

    The Operation Fernbridge inquiry is probing claims that senior political figures and others sexually abused boys at the Elm Guest House in Barnes.

    Scotland Yard began their investigation after receiving information from the Labour MP Tom Watson.”

  106. 106
    arse licker says:

    Guido’s uncovering of Pilgrims has been admirable.

  107. 107
    David Camoron EUSSR lickspittle and snake oil salesman says:

    Kiss goodbye to a second term Camoron you moron but then again youve probably got a nice little EUSSR sinecure lined up and dont particularly care. Snake !

  108. 108
    Billericay Dickey says:

    Dave’s negotiating skills are truly remarkable.

  109. 109
    The greatest moment on HIGNFY ever says:

    Muzees did not like this! :-D

  110. 110
    retardEd Miliband says:

    Thith ith true.

    If he pitheth uth off, he will be behaving in a weckleth and iwthponthible manner, and thith blóg will thrivel too far, too fatht.

  111. 111
    Anonymous says:

    Is this aimed at diverting attention from the Stafford Hospital scandal- which happened on Labour’s watch?

  112. 112
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Save one for me !

  113. 113
    E.J. Thribb, 17 1/2 years old says:

    I’m only seventeen-and-a-half years old, goddamnit! What could an obit possibly contain?

    “So. Farewell then.
    The young Thribb, a poetic fool,
    Went to school.
    As a general rule,
    He was a good and loving son.
    His life is now done.
    E.J. we hardly knew ye.”

  114. 114
    ████ ' change my tune' Hoon says:

    And me !!

  115. 115
    Egghead (The odd looking one) says:

    What have you got against us quizzlings ?

  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    All this bickering between PE and Guido. What matters is the release of the report on the Stafford and Cannock Chase Hospital scandal. Radio 5 Live phone is suggested part of the problem is due to cost cutting. Fewer nurses, under more and more pressure leaves little time to actually care for people. Dave and his ilk prefer to pump money into international aid with questionable benefit rather than take care of his own UK citizens. Scandalous!

  117. 117
    Truthteller says:

    You write for the scum, one place for you Guido Fawkes.

  118. 118
    I says:

    They are a crashing bore. They always have been. If there is one generation which really showed the world how not to live and organise society it is that lot

  119. 119
    Lord Stansted says:

    They’re at the gates already.


  120. 120
    David Camoron EUSSR lickspittle and snake oil salesman says:

    No time for friendly fire ! FFS tell that to comedy Dave he’s just straffed the faithfull with machine gun fire, complete knob!

  121. 121
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Error 406 – it is not August, it is February.

  122. 122
    One-term Dave, dragging the Tories to their grave, says:

    A nice little EUSSR sinecure? I’ve already got one, thanks! It’s called “PM of North-Western EU”, or “PM of Britain”, as it used to be called.

    Apparently, some of you plebs might consider voting against our membership of the EU. Rest assured, I will stop this from happening. By bringing hundreds of thousands – or possibly millions – of new EU immigrants into North-Western EU from next year, I will ensure you bigoted Tories are roundly beaten, what what!

    And don’t worry about them stealing lead from the roof of your village church – I’m going to pay them to bulldoze the church and all the surrounding countryside, so they can build squillions of houses for themselves. Spiffing!

    Tally ho!

  123. 123
  124. 124
    The Poet Lorry-Butt says:

    Too many rhymes

  125. 125
    Reality says:

    Mark and Rich should be given a free transfer, sooner, rather than later too.

  126. 126
    Rupert Murdoch says:

    Yes, guido is a boring tory taking the murdoch shilling, so he’s attacking the eye. No surprise there then.

    Congratulations guido, you’re now officially part of the establishment.

    Bit like everyone else on the sun really, pretends to be anti-establishment but actually glories in feeding up the establishment lies. Coming soon: Hillsborough, the lies; Gotcha.

  127. 127
    Anonymous says:

    Surprised that Galloway voted “yes” considering the demographics of his constituency. Maybe his fellow Party members in Respect are unaware that he has. In any event let’s hope it becomes widely known amongst his voters, who are renowned for their tolerance of homosexual behaviour.

  128. 128
    Plato says:

    Better than Rosie => ?? Are you insane??

  129. 129

    Dear Mr Quango

    One may warn people but one cannot make an equus ferus caballus drink.

    It is not the string but the package which you ought to have detected. I shall leave it at that but there is a Specsavers in Victoria Street.

    Hope you can open our fete as usual this year which is being held in our grounds on 25 May. Do bring the delightful Ludmila as seems so interested in English customs and traditions.



  130. 130
    Tony Blair (godfather to one of Murdoch's kids) says:

    People connected with the Murdoch empire are truly awful, aren’t they?

  131. 131
    David Camoron EUSSR lickspittle and snake oil salesman says:

    Sorry is it the abrahamic religions or their splinter cults who you say gave us this evil primitive definition of marraige ? Your thinking is juvinille and wooly and I concur with the previous poster you are clearly a Spad wanker !

  132. 132
    yeah, right... says:

    A privately educated, Oxbridge elite.

    Plus ca change….

  133. 133
    bergen says:

    A good point.

  134. 134
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    No danger of the Eye nicking a Fernbridge story. Guido is avoiding them like the plague – on the orders of his masters?

  135. 135
    The Whispering grass says:

    Ah yes, the trees. It is all about the sodding trees. Only ever to be used for stoking the agas of green wellied twats in the countryside and falling over after dodgy weather forecasts.

  136. 136

    A bit 4-chan, isn’t that?

  137. 137
    The Diplomatic Corps says:

    Unscrewing the top of a tub of vaseline is not a negotiation

  138. 138
    Living in 97% white Merseyside says:

    Is it true that about a hundred Tory MPs are about to defect to UKIP?

  139. 139
    Biased BBC Arsewipes says:

    We twist every story so that it attacks the Tories.
    We have not mentioned labour once over Stafford Hospital.
    We only attack Cameron over the gay marriage vote. We won’t mention that it is good for gays.
    We imply Cameron was at fault over Andrew Mitchell. The fact that the police lied, and started the whole issue is irrelevant.

  140. 140
    Reality says:

    Indeed and the state has made people with deeply held religious convictions, potential convicts. All deeply bizarre.

  141. 141
    The Tory Party...it learns nothing and forgets nothing says:

    Cameron has split his party on a matter of principle(his)…unfortunately the majority of his party do not support him or his priorities.I know February 5th was , Cameron’s hero, Sir Robert Peel’s Birthday but was there any need to emulate him by doing a re-run of Peel’s Government’s downfall a la the Corn Laws ? Interestingly the bill to repeal these laws was passed with Whig and Radical Support(Labour and LibDem in 2013 ??) Peel’s Tory party failing to support him. As a result Peel was forced to resign shortly afterwards as he no longer commanded the support of his party. Back to 2013…don’t hold your breath on THAT one just yet but Cameron’s time as leader is short and he will be rapidly replaced when he loses the election in May 2015.

  142. 142
    4x Longer Freshness says:

    I’d credit much of that to the taxpayer’s alliance, but fair play to Guido for giving it wider currency

  143. 143
    Oscar Wilde, posing as a "somdomite[!]", says:

    An “Earnest” attempt to address the issue?
    An attribution might be in order, old chap!

  144. 144
    Kebab News says:

    “The first person to be arrested by the Operation Fernbridge police investigation into what happened at Elm Guest House between 1979 and 1982 has taken place at 7:15am morning on the south coast in St Leonards on Sea in East Sussex .

    The man is John Stringmore an employee of Richmond council and is the former deputy head of Grafton Lodge Children’s Care Home.”

  145. 145
    Skorpian De Rooftrouser says:

    Call me Dave has played a blinder in the Gay Marriage bill, he has alienated his core vote and approx 50% of his MP’s voyed against him, as an added bonus he has alienated the Mwslim,Jeewish, Hindu and Christain establishment. Also must be taken into account was the EU Ref debate yet again he alienated his core vote as a direct consequence has put a large number of his MP’s seats on the line from UKIP. There is talk of a Stalking Horse/Beefburger running against for the leadership, just a suggestion maybe Dave or one of his SPaDs pen a note to Santa informing him there might be a change of address this Christmas,he should be Ok for the Easter Bunny thou8gh

  146. 146
    Jim Davidson says:

    Hey! I was on the beeb too! And I’m about as funny as cancer! I love Maggie!

  147. 147
    The Tory Party...it learns nothing and forgets nothing says:

    Wishful thinking…….but Cameron would be finished if THEY did…and er so would the Tory Party and it’s chances of government for the next decade

  148. 148
    Oscar Wilde, posing as a "somdomite[!]", says:

    To quote once without attribution may be regarded as unfortunate; to do it twice sounds like carelessness– or plagiarism, if we’re being honest!

  149. 149
    Where are Tony Blair's expenses says:

    Cost cutting what a load of bollocks

    This happened on Blair’s watch but like the Iraq war, David Kelly etc he will not be held to account.

    This is just another section of the public sector not taking responsibility for its actions

    The top 5 managers in this trust all got promotions during the time of the scandal.

    What were the doctors doing about this, the same as they did when Shipman was bumping people off, sweet FA

  150. 150
  151. 151
    JabbaTheCat says:

    You’re Fabian Delusions and you’ve forgotten your hrt patch again, and I claim my £5…

  152. 152

    I stuck my neck out enough last night.

    There was no need to Fan the flames or I might have got A Handbag instead.

  153. 153
    Fire up the Quattro says:

    The scandal took place on Labour’s watch. That odious little prat Burnham even gave the hospital Foundation Status because it was so good!!!!

  154. 154
    rEd Milibandwagon says:

    Meee toooo pleathe!!!

  155. 155
    Froggie says:

    Here’s a thought, for every gay male there,s a female going spare,

  156. 156
    Oberon Houston says:

    Nothing like a running fight with Eye to light some rocket boosters on site traffic eh? …got to take my hat-off though, they walked right into it. Silly Eye.

  157. 157
    Reality says:

    Are you retarded?

    Labour, under ‘caring’ Gordon Brown, were in government during the Stafford hospital scandal of 2006-2007. What’s even worse, they had been in government at the time for TEN years.

  158. 158
    annoyed user says:

    Then be the bigger man, and if they are so irrelevant why give them the oxygen of publicity.

  159. 159
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    …but we are not talking about Dave. We are talking about Guido and the Eye. The usual lefty (Welsh) distractions will fail to deter us from the subject.

    Guido, thanks for your reply above – but please do not let petty one-upmanship spats with Hislop induce you to take your eye off the real ball.

    [Sits back and awaits usual mindless “arse breath” comment on first para from we all know who]

  160. 160
    look you, innit? says:

    In English please taffy.

  161. 161
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    I demand a 4 billion pound cut in our annual subs – starting today.

  162. 162
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    Joe, if that is what you think then you really must be a victim of the Crossland/Williams ejekashun reforms.

  163. 163
    Raptor says:

    Back on topic, Private Eye has long ceased to be funny, or “cutting edge” as their ageing-trendy journos would put it. Hislop has taken the BBC’s shilling, and all the usual Beeboid tunes are played out in his organ.

    Hislop even used his BBC programme to sneer at length at the people who exposed the Common Purpose racket. Thus exposing himself rather more awkwardly.

  164. 164
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    Well said vicar.

  165. 165
    Curly says:

    It is almost certainly the result of no cash thanks to idiotic PFI bollox.

  166. 166
    Vague, Gideon, Not a Mother Theresa. says:

    Will you let us Camp Followers join though. Pretty please?

    We didn’t have the guts to attend and speak in the debate either. We are cowardly bastards too.

  167. 167
    Dave has fucked up. says:

    How about a Taliban candidate for Eastleigh? They have some quite progressive policies that would sort out the ConLibLabbers mess.

  168. 168
    Dennis MacShame says:

    I sure do.

  169. 169
    Point of information says:

    Just how many different ways are you going to spell qu!sling ? (Or is it a m0dded word)

  170. 170
    EU Watch says:

    So one up on van Rumpy ?

  171. 171
    Bit rich says:

    Private eye is head and shoulders above this shit

  172. 172
    Fireman says:

    Dead wood requires oxygen to burn.

  173. 173
    Anonymous says:

    this is anything but sad. the humble man behind cleans the shite of others.
    that is a crisis proof life and hurrah to that.

    shit sticks but we can never be more than half man half god on earth, for then we would not be here. so fawkes, is un.touch.able. …the only way of living a life of integrity.
    shown mathematically,
    . 0 – 0 = 0
    . but also
    . infinite – infinite = infinite

    GF…BGF? does God’s work. For like the good mother he teaches us duty.
    bow to the god of duty, the feminine brain, mothers and mother earth. the left brain exist on earth to serve the right brain.

    har mean defeat in Hindi. defeat the ego, clean the shite of others. financial rewards are with the rich. for peace, clean everyone’s shite. in the no denial world shit will stick. acute denial of the purpose of the left brain will result in damage to the right brain. for harmony and peace, top central parting should not split but the central parting below should …both at the front and the back. As to what should happen when the central parting below open is down to will.i.am.

  174. 174
    lojolondon says:

    Unfortunately I believe Huhne’s jail will be a little different, although he seems to like bisexual people, so maybe he will volunteer to entertain in the vegetable section!

  175. 175
    On the BBC shilling says:

    Just look at Hislop’s p1ss poor performances in response to the Jimmy Savile scandal at the BBC.

    Another spoilt upper middle class establishment stooge. As if we don’t have enough of them in our faces 24/7.

  176. 176
    James P says:

    Two, in fact. Just number crunching…

  177. 177
    A hairdresser says:

    And it cures dandruff.

  178. 178
    lojolondon says:

    Yes, he could be open to beheading or stoning, guess he never thought about that!!

  179. 179
    On the BBC shilling says:

    Get over yourself.

  180. 180
    lojolondon says:

    Scandalous, if you think the NHS is fit for purpose, then you should have to use it sometime! MRSA still kills 5,000 people a year in England, so far more than cars.

  181. 181
    Whistles says:

    “readers” may be a bit of a stretch.

  182. 182
    Stuck up don says:

    You could have parodied poor Yorick or actually made it all rhyme. -3 cantaboxoniensis school of daydreaming poets.

  183. 183
    Anonymous says:

    What a joke.

    Or is it Guido hubris – no change there then.

    The notion that they are all running about with their hair on fire over at PE following you is laughable.

    Let see where you are in say 30 years time.

    You’re just another dirty digger stooge.

  184. 184
    Prof. Get out there and do it says:

    True and what is more is the more gays without a matching number of lesbians equals more single available women who have not had much in the way of sex. Survival of the fittest. Proffer your perfect pieces of DNA and let’s hope all our male friends turn gay.

  185. 185
    Prof. of Int Human Rights says:

    False. Any civil action would be caught by the provisions for permissible derogation on the grounds of alternative venues available and clerics upholding a genuine cultural/religious tenet (and in the interests of a pluralistic society). It would be equally open to a church to only marry gays and to paint itself pink.

  186. 186
    Prof. of Int Human Rights says:

    I agree with the poster who is not a SPAD. Even if he were that is better than being a politically incorrect SPAD who can’t spell pratt.

  187. 187
    England is run for the rest. says:

    And when will someone actually lobby for a correct equal proportion of English MPs. And while we are at it an Engilsh Assembly. Or is it that every time the door swings open for Welsh and Scottish Labour MPs who want to ejaculate on English schools and hospitals, Labour MPs suck up to their request for a nice warm and waiting Labour seat.

  188. 188
    England is run for the rest. says:

    True as page 3 and the sport is what sells the sun, you really think they actually understand or have time to read the political shenanigans in the Sun. Most don’t tosser.

  189. 189
    I post under multiple names says:

    + 100 (identities!)

  190. 190
    See? This is me again says:

    (Insert witty comment here.)

  191. 191
    Caroline Lucas says:

    I’ve already got one. The point is that my Brighton vote is what Dave craves. He’ll be lucky, I’ve already told them to vote for Ed!

  192. 192
    Scissors, Brassy, Creole, Arbiter etc says:

    and the crossword is tak9ing even less time that usual.

  193. 193
    Scissors, Surely not for this world much longer says:

    Surely your moniker should be ‘Tony Blair (God to one of Murdoch’s kids and the whole world too)?

  194. 194
    Hugh G. Rection says:

    Although delivered to the reader in two different ways it has always struck me that PE and Guido are two similar sides of the same coin…and all the better for it.
    May both organs continue to swell.

  195. 195
    Anne Arquist says:

    Stop the stupid competing, Guido and Private Eye. You’re really on the same side and should concentrate on the enemies, of whom there is a great number.

  196. 196
    restore the monasteries says:

    We have been given a referendum to resolve this thorny issue,dave said so…. Now, all that has to happen to honour this pledge is; In 2015,conservatives must win GE, then,many months of discussion,dither and delay,whilst batting away the “Yes” vote to leave EU,then a date to be set,then “The loaded Question” and then and only then,we “may” have a referendum…So, at a rough guess,i reckon we will have a referendum in about 2035,,if we are lucky..However,as dave is a true conservative and a stubborn sod,we may leave EU without all this referendum twaddle..
    (one can dream!!!)

  197. 197
    Anonymous says:

    Maybe, but Greedo is now Murdoch’s Ziopoodle.

  198. 198
    Anonymous says:

    No, Greedo’s arse belongs to Murdoch now! That’s why he’s attacking Private Eye.
    If you attack Private Eye, you’ll find you’ll loose a lot of street cred, Fatso!

  199. 199
    YouWot? says:

    Eeerm, Greedo is Murdoch’s glovepuppet now.

  200. 200
    Dave Spart says:

    you Islamophobe

    (c) all newspapers and politicians, er, even right wing ones

  201. 201
    YouWot? says:

    Fuck off, you retarded twat. If someone wants to marry a donkey, it’s effall to do with you, the church or the state!

  202. 202
    YouWot? says:

    Fuck off to your racist colony, ZioLoon.

  203. 203
    YouWot? says:

    Well Camoron is a useless wet blanket and deserves being attacked anyway, what’s the problem?

  204. 204
    Comment Deleted says:

    Remember, coming here to complain about guido just makes him money from the adverts – unless, like me, you use Adblock with Firefox or Chrome

  205. 205
    Archbishop Desmond Tutu says:

    Perhaps it is as simple as Private Eye is getting the same stories leaked to them so it has decided to print them?

    How many of Private Eye’s readership read Guido? Probably not a high proportion.

    I read both and don’t really care if PE repeats stories.

  206. 206
    trooth tellar says:


    Hislop has spent more time in court than you’ve had hot dinners m’laddo

    You just hate him because he’s educated and you’re a wanker

  207. 207
    My name is Legion says:

    This is true

  208. 208
    Dave son of Dave says:

    I like Private Eye
    I like this too
    neither of you are perfect

  209. 209
    Swollen Glands says:

    Remember Hislop was Peter Cook’s shoo in at the Eye. Cook was a wonderful anti-establishment comic – Hislop his lickspittle. Still, I always assumed Hislop was a LibDem.

  210. 210
    Swollen Glands says:

    So what is so wrong with brothers/sisters/brothers&sisters living together – no sex implied. Remember the Sykes and a …. series, where Eric and Hattie lived together, why should these other relationships be devalued just because there is no fornication or sodomy or whatever lesbiansd do. Their relationships are just as meaningful.

  211. 211
    English Teacher says:


  212. 212
    My Private's Eye says:

    I think a public inquiry is needed.

  213. 213
    Border Terrier says:

    Na. Hislop sneers for the liberal establishment. He is a smug old fashioned socialist.

    I hate him with venom.

    It was Richard Ingrams who gave him the Private Eye job. Remember Ingrams; his wife was impregnated by the gardener and Ingrams sought reconciliation with the couple. A regular Brit would have smashed the guy.

    A sad bunch of tossers – and Hislop pulls in£15k for each HIGNFY.

  214. 214
    Bogbrush says:

    Great stuff guys!

  215. 215
    Grrr says:

    We hate him because he’s another Public School BBC Leftie wanker.

  216. 216
    Grrr says:

    The Eye was supposed to be anti-establishment – But you cannot get any more Establishment than the BBC/Eye/Guardian/Unions.

    The Conservative party is more anti-establishment than this lot of Party members.

  217. 217
    Grrr says:

    Rather Murdoch than the BBC/Guardian.

    No one’s going to throw me into jail for not handing over my money to the Ozy – can’t say that for the current crop of Public School Marxist warriors runnning the Left

  218. 218
    Archie says:

    It won’t be dragged up endlessly as long as Guido’s not snapped with a pretty young lady of Asian origin wearing a white top! Oops, I forgot! It’s NOT Guido on The Daily Politics! Silly me!

  219. 219
    Archie says:

    Tell the Froggy Hunt to go and fuck himself!

  220. 220
    Anonymous says:

    How much is Murdoch paying Guido?

  221. 221
    Anonymous says:

    What’s his salary from Murdoch?

  222. 222
    Anonymous says:

    I’d have thought you can get much more establishment than Cameron, Boris, Clegg, Osborne etc etc.

  223. 223
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t exaggerate.

  224. 224
    Anonymous says:

    Good salary though

  225. 225
    Troll Hunter says:

    Love the fact you guys think you’re witty. You’re the noxious trolls under this stinking bridge. If anything you put off the casual reader, surprised He hasn’t flushed you out already.

Media Reader

Page 3 and the Art of the Self-Pity Statement | Guardian
Here is What a 7 Way Debate Sounds Like | BBC
Poll: Sun Readers Want Page 3 to Stay | Business Insider
The Sun: An Apology | Press Gazette
More Women Prosecuted For Telly Tax | Mail
Je Suis Page 3 | Toby Young
Page 3 Website Enjoys Huge Surge in Traffic | Media Guardian
No One Was Ever Forced to Read Page 3 | Will Walter
Why is Roy Greenslade Doing Labour’s Dirty Work? | Peter Oborne
Today’s Actual Sun Page 3 | Media Guido
Has the Sun Scrapped Page 3? | Guardian

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

IMF chief Christine Lagarde says Saudi King Abdullah was strong advocate of women “in a very discreet way”.

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers