February 5th, 2013

Tory Whips: Eastleigh “Will Not Be A Shoe In”

Guido has seen exchanges between the Government whips office and Tory MPs that would imply they are not expecting the Eastleigh writ to be moved for many months. Michael Fabricant, who seems to be in charge of the by-election again, reminds colleagues that the LibDems have three months to fire the starting gun. His background notes on the seat confirms that the Tory candidate will be Maria Hutchings, though he is rather gloomy about her prospects “although many constituents in Eastleigh will understandably feel that they have been let down badly by their Lib-Dem MP, this will not be a shoe-in [sic] for us.” Somewhat of an understatement…



  1. 1
    Bad Hair Day says:

  2. 2
    Malcolm Redfellow says:

    The usual expression is “shoo-in”. It dates from 1928. Refer to the Oxford English Dictionary and find:

    1928 National Turf Digest (Baltimore) Dec. 929/2 A ‘skate’ is a horse having no class whatever, and rarely wins only in case of a ‘fluke’ or ‘shoo in’.

    But then Micky Fab never really got it on with the zeitgeist.

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    do you mean “shoo-in” or is there some irony in the title that I haven’t spotted?

  4. 4
    Nigel Farage says:

    See you there !

  5. 5
    The Meissen Bison says:

    Shoo not shoe

  6. 6
    Jimmy says:

    Maybe the LibDems are going to wait for the start of the Coulson trial?

  7. 7
    This is a shoe in says:

  8. 8
    Gordon Brown says:

    Is it a quiz?

  9. 9
    STuN says:

    I thought Tories were all meant to be ‘Heteroflexible’ this technosexual stuff is a smoke screen

  10. 10
    Size ten Slipper says:

    A horse shoe is spelt hose shoe and not F@cking horse shoo. There’s always some twat who thinks he knows better than the rest and says so.

  11. 11
    Jimmy says:

    More to the point, should Fabricant be allowed to marry the animal that lives on his head?

  12. 12
  13. 13
    Mark your 2014 calendars for an election says:

    Everyone knows this coalition will be dead within the next 12 months.

  14. 14
    Mark your 2014 calendars for an election says:

    Agreed. YOU should be in prison. *innocent face*

  15. 15
    Plato says:

    Who’d marry a man who colour co-ordinates his wig and tie?

  16. 16
    Mark your 2014 calendars for an election says:


    For Grumpy’s sake?

  17. 17
    Duty Pedant says:

    hose shoe?

    horse shoe

    Always some twat who thinks he knows …..

  18. 18
    S True, S True says:

  19. 19
    marge says:


  20. 20
    Sally Sally Sally. Just think before you Tweet. says:

    Perverting Justice is a threat to society Sally.

    With no Justice then there is no society. How do you find this hard to understand?

  21. 21
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Look in the mirror Sally.

  22. 22
    Note the time... says:

    10:55pm – full of Lambrini.

  23. 23
    Lord Effingham says:

    Never mind the ‘shoe/shoo’ bollocks.

    The voters of Eastleigh are going to be without a representative in Parliament until such time as the arrogant gits in Westminster can be arsed to give them a by-election.

  24. 24
    Anonymous says:

    Best not to appear to lose one’s temper when one is wrong. Look up shoe and shoo, you will get the idea.

  25. 25
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    It was dead in June 2010.

  26. 26
    I'm an MP ban this time bomb says:

    I have a feeling that you could end up in the clink, if you woke up to this in oh so serious Britain.


  27. 27
    P l e b says:

    They might not want one.

  28. 28
    Turkeys voting for Christmas says:

    I live in Eastleigh. I just thought I’d say that.

  29. 29
    Ginger Rodent Objection Police Enforcement says:

    But wot if the animal objects? Does it get a say in the nuptials?

  30. 30
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    The Tories may not be a “shoe-in [sic],” but that doesn’t mean they can’t put the boot into Huhne, as everyone else would seem to want to do at this stage.

  31. 31
    Where are Tony Blair's expenses says:

    Who gives a flying *uck what this slapper thinks.

  32. 32
    Ferret sez says:


  33. 33
    Dick Shunary says:

    Shoo = Fuck off
    Shoe = Foot plate

  34. 34
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Stupid woman.

  35. 35
    Trousers down says:

    I assumed it was twit speak for “Fags” – ie an allusion to what Huhne can expect in prison.

  36. 36
    Jimmy says:

    Not to mention the phrase “somewhat of..”

  37. 37
    Not impressed says:

    What if the animal on Fabricant’s head wants to marry the animal on Danny Alexander’s head? Woudl that be allowed?

  38. 38
    rebekah aka nellnewman says:

    Well with a tory labour libdem half baked field like that I reckon nigel farage might stand a good chance.

    Wonder if he will have a go?

  39. 39
    Dave says:

    It is because I am a Tory and I believe in the institution of marriage that I want same sex wigs to have equal rights along with the rest of us.

  40. 40
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    The people of Kirkcaldy & Cowdenbeath seem to be getting along swimmingly without one, your Lordship. The folks in South Shields (Ed’s Olda Bruvva) apparently are not represented on any continuous basis, either.

  41. 41
    Dina Mite says:

    Delivered by TNT.

  42. 42
    local vet says:

    reminds me of hazel blears’s snatch

  43. 43
    Flat Worm says:

    Fluke is wot Livers have.

  44. 44
    From The Grauniad says:

    • This article was amended on 5 February 2013 to correct the spelling of fir trees, from fur trees.


  45. 45

    “Who’d marry a man who colour co-ordinates his wig and tie?”

    Mrs Boris Johnson ?

  46. 46
    Lost the plot says:

    This “same sex marriage” stuff,”How does it affect our Monarchy”???..Two kings,two Queens,…Was anyone asked if they wanted this.? Its like a wierd acid trip to watch HoC..

  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    Golden Syrup – thick and sick-making!

  48. 48
    Electrician says:

    They also make multimeters

  49. 49
    the savant10.4 highway patrol says:

    No ……it would be tantamount to male incest .

    Definitely a no no.

    Good God at that rate you are not too far off legalising homosexuality !!

  50. 50
    Lol says:

    Is it really a syrup? I mean it he has to wear one, surely he could afford a better one than that. Like Jon Sopel’s :)

  51. 51
    the savant10.4 highway patrol says:

    No … that would amount to licensing amoebic aesexual reproduction .

    Good God at this rate you are not far off legalising hermaphroditism !!

  52. 52
    He Man says:

    “• This article was amended on 5 February 2013 to correct the spelling of fir trees, from fur trees.”

    I myself prefUr a Furry Bush

  53. 53
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Said the Gypo shagger

  54. 54
  55. 55
    Airey Belvoir says:

    See also ‘towing the line’, ‘reigning in’ and similar sillinesses, available at all so-called quality newspapers.

  56. 56
    the savant10.4 highway patrol says:

    Tell you what

    If that ‘s a serious excuse for a syrup of fig Sivio Berlusconi has a full head of hair by comparison .

  57. 57
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Its one of Morries

  58. 58
    disgustedoftunbridgewells says:

    \i’d rather stroke a beaver

  59. 59
    Anonymous says:

    Jimmy and his right hand will be celebrating their diamond anniversary shortly. Bless.

  60. 60
    pissed off voter says:

    makes one wonder why the number of MPs can’t be reduced. maybe by 50 or so ….

  61. 61
    disgustedoftunbridgewells says:

    As a matter of fact, I have always admired this lady for her intellectual input and ability to sleep with a man who must tickle it with his toes when they are in bed.

  62. 62
    Douglas Hogg says:

    I’m moativated!

  63. 63
    Richard III says:

    Want me to run for Tory leader?

  64. 64
    Jimmy says:

    Talking of elections oddly enough no report on YouGov today showing the highest Labour lead in its history. Butch is now officially doing worse than IDS.

  65. 65
    One who knows says:

    Nothing to do with horse shoes. It refers to sheep being shooed into a pen.

  66. 66
    SP4BS says:

    What a coke up.

  67. 67
    old SHEP says:

    Right the first time Michael; ‘Shoo-in’, cluck, cluck.

  68. 68
    Anonymous says:

    Be fair, his syrup looks nothing like an old ginger tom with its throat slashed!

  69. 69
    Lol says:

    Very good ones at that.

  70. 70
    SP4BS says:

    Isn’t a fabricant something out of blade runner? OR is he claiming to be a shagging robot like Jude law in AI ?

  71. 71
    old SHEP says:

    The Archiepiscopal of Canterbury has flatly refused to marry a Donkey.

  72. 72
    VERITAS says:

    Is it any surprise that Easleigh will not be a shoo in given this clown is running the show he is as daft as his hair.I personally feel sorry for the electors of Eastleigh to have been represented by the liar Huhne and that sexual deviant Milligan in the space of twenty years,the political class is corrupt and beyond redemption.

  73. 73
    Lol says:

    You couldn’t do any worse mate.

  74. 74
    Chris 'changed my tune ' Hoon says:

    Oh do fuck off ! I’ve got enough problems with these two ugly hags. Don’t need to add you to my collection.

  75. 75
    VERITAS says:

    What about a swap send Bercunut and his appaling wife to gaol and give Huhne a probation order.

  76. 76
    VERITAS says:

    Perish the thought.

  77. 77
    albacore says:

    You’d need wellies to paddle through LibLabCon sleaze
    We’ve got representatives like a dog’s got fleas
    Who knows, the Eastleigh folks might feel the glass slipper
    Is more befitting an unsullied Ukipper

  78. 78
    Labours core heartlands, crime riven sink estates, immigrant ghettos and welfareland says:

    Who in Labours core heartlands is?

    The sheep are expected to vote red and their representatives can then piss of to Paris and the like to live in serene idleness, until the next election looms.

  79. 79
    Cultural Marxism says:

    It is legal, any critisism of it is however, increasingly illegal.

  80. 80
    ████ 'change my tune' Hoon says:

    Anyone got a job for an accomplished liar ? Able to lie through teeth for years, am contemptuous and arrogant. References cannot be supplied on request.

  81. 81
    Call me Dave mincing into oblivion says:

    An arse, an arse, my kingdom for an arse

  82. 82
    Sylvio says:

    izst hawse shoe shurely!

  83. 83
    gildedtumbril says:

    Arsewipes all. 650 shysters, charlatans, scumbags and scallywags, all of whom are scoundrels. What is euphemistically named’ the upper house’ even worse. As for fairies at the bottom of the garden wedding…One wonders what camoron’s beard has to say about it.

  84. 84
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Is a “Fabric cant” like a “fish mitten ?

  85. 85
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:


  86. 86
    Former US Cong. Jim Traficant (D- OH, 17 CD) says:

    You think HE’s got a bad hairpiece, look at mine:

    (And what IS it about legislators whose names end in “I can’t” wearing ugly wigs? “I can’t” admit I’m bald?)

  87. 87
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    Easy test. Introduce him to Bruce Forsyth and if Brucie’s leaps on to his head and tries to mate it is a good pointer.

  88. 88
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    No Silvio. The correct term is ‘whores shoe’ and it’s best to dispose of the evidence after the party.

  89. 89
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    No, sorry. It clashes with your contractual obligations to appear as Parker in the new Thunderbirds series.

  90. 90
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    Or the arrest of all those on the Elm Guest House list who are still living (and seem to be all Tories).

  91. 91
    Hang The B@stards says:

    The Tories will realise their mistake in Beastly Eastleigh as UKIP destroy their vote.

    Camoron, take note !

  92. 92
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    So what should be the penalty for a Home Secretary who suppressed police enquiries in the 80s and a Welsh Secretary who suppressed an embarrassing report into a childrens home in the 90s?

  93. 93
    Cultural Marxism says:

    In the event of two kings or queens, wouldn’t that end the right of accession for the Windors?

  94. 94
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    Its a little like the Surrey heartlands for the Tories. Milton and Hunt. A pensioner who has just had a makeover to reappear as the oldest goth in existence, and a congenital liar with the integrity of Huhne.

  95. 95
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    See reply above. Committments to appear as ‘Parker’ rule him out.

  96. 96
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    Why does he need another when he has Osborne?

  97. 97
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    How many of UKIPs MEPs have been convicted? Oh yes, only 3 so far.

  98. 98
    Call me Dave mincing into oblivion says:

    Because I am a predator

  99. 99
    F0ul Labour ruined my Country says:

    LimpDumbs have syrups everywhere so I am told!

  100. 100
    Nick and Ivan says:

    Wait until Dave triumphs in today’s vote – the people of Britain will rise up and salute their saviour.

    Let’s declare today – National Bumsex Day.

  101. 101
    Norman St John Stevas would be spinning in his grave says:

    The partner of a Queen Regnant would be a Queen Consort and of a King Regnant a King Consort technically but in the event the consort of a reigning monarch of whatever gender would probably be addressed as the Princess Consort in case of two women and Prince Consort in case of two men. However as the Sovereign has to be the Head of the Church of England and married under the auspiices of that Church who will not perform Gay marriage it’s a bit academic unless Dave is thinking amending the legislation on the Succession as well(oh that’s right HE is !!!)

  102. 102
    Nick and Ivan says:

    Possibly – but not a bad poker hand.

  103. 103
    Propaganda Watch says:

    The content of these calls can be considered black propaganda:


    It is interesting that the lawyers are not mentioned in the report. This is a typical legal tactic more than a press tactic.

  104. 104
    Its credibility and perception what counts says:

    Vote UKIP.

  105. 105
    Useless Partizan Troll Alert says:

    Why stop there? Bliar put a 100 year embargo on what his ministers and their pals were up to with vulnerable children.

  106. 106
    Massow and Boles, missing their third "man" says:

    I’d be careful about badmouthing Paddy like that.

    Gyppos can turn very nasty.

  107. 107
    Not Richard III AGAIN says:

    For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
    For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
    For want of a horse the rider was lost.
    For want of a rider the message was lost.
    For want of a message the battle was lost.
    For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
    And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

  108. 108
    Universal Hiss says:

    maybe to 50 or so.

  109. 109
    Us lot says:

    Sorry Fred, this is a family blog so you will have to get images of being sat on by Di out of your head.

  110. 110
    Turkeys voting for Christmas says:

    Farage not standing in Eastleigh apparently.

  111. 111
    Anonymous says:


  112. 112
    Us lot says:

    … and kiddy fiddling and dodgy dossiers and wisteria pruning and a buggered economy and loss of hard earned pensions for the peasants but not MPs and PFI fiddles and >>>>>>> …. ad infintum

  113. 113
    Us lot says:

    *infinitum (stupid keyboard needs dusting).

  114. 114
    the voice of reason says:

    Just watched the worst Daily Politics thus far – Toynbee allowed total Party Broadcast, then speaks on Eastleigh and denies herself within a minute. All unchallenged by JC.

    Why are PT and JC allowed to broadcast ?

    silly me ….. it’s the BBC !

  115. 115
    Us lot says:

    Yes, think of the benefit to our budget figures if we don’t have to pay 200k to some scrounging fuckwit for a year or so.

  116. 116
    Us lot says:

    Lucky you having no MP knocking at your door.

  117. 117
    Useless Partizan Troll Alert says:

    Not quite as many as Labour Liberal or Conservative over the same period. Labour it has to be said, are pretty impressive with 285 convicted since 2006.


  118. 118
    Us lot says:

    No he has to wait for a much better chance, but that should not stop him presenting a credible candidate – even if just for laughs and to gauge the response from a highly disillusion us lot.

  119. 119
    Us lot says:

    * disillusioned (OK, I’ll go and get the duster this time).

  120. 120
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    I specified MEPs, not members. And a 25% ratio is pretty stomach churning.

  121. 121
    Us lot says:

    Kellner was on Sky early today saying that the vast majority of the British people are in favour of gay marriage. He managed to keep a straight face too, but being married to our Cathy then maybe you can see where he is coming from!

  122. 122
    Us lot says:

    Blame the voters not the candidates. Must be something in the water in that neck of the woods.

  123. 123
    Us lot says:

    Fred, you are fighting a losing battle on here mate. Perhaps you would feel more at home on CIF.

  124. 124
    Us lot says:

    Try Human Resources Dept, EU HQ, Brussels.

  125. 125
    Us lot says:

    Tie his kangaroo down, sport.

  126. 126
    Us lot says:

    This was a response to No29 at 2.44. Can’t understand why it came out down here.

  127. 127
    Matilda says:

    Best suggestion yet for turning this shit heap of a country into a republic.

  128. 128
    Ol' Crummy says:

    Jugglers, whoremasters, dr*unkards and swindlers…and a sodomite or two, into the bargain!

  129. 129
    Not impressed says:

    I see Farage has already thrown in the towel on Eastleigh. Too frit to stand himself in case he loses….again.

  130. 130
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Thats where i left my Brillo pad

  131. 131
    Jimmy says:

    Most are in favour but it’s not an issue that will cause many to switch sides. It’s a bit like the photo op with the huskies, Butch wants to persuade people that the tories weren’t evil any more. Unfortunately for him most of his MPs are determined to prove him wrong. Yet another popcorn moment for the rest of us.

  132. 132
    CHRST ON A BIKE! says:

    Look at the scummy Liebour MPs who were booted out of parliament, since the last electio,n and their scummy electorates, immediately returned another Liebour Bastard.

    Admittedly, they were safe seats and would elect a dog-turd if it had a red rosette on it.

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