February 2nd, 2013

@TobyHelm v @SarahVine

Times journalist Sarah Vine is married to Michael Gove, she clearly gets irritated by the Observer hack who she thinks carries water for Ed Miliband’s chief-of-spin, Tom Baldwin:


Labour now say Mrs Gove is an attack dog:



  1. 1
    Drop a Daisy cutter on Owin Jones says:

    Alleged Guido Fawkes exclusive sends Michael Gove’s odds of being booted out the Cabinet from 25/1 to 8/1. Trying to calm my imagination down.



    • 2

      Alleged Observer exclusive actually.


      • 9
        The Old Fella says:

        have a go as well as @guidofawkes Naughty old Fawkesy


        • 11
          In The Know says:

          Ladbrokes Politics ‏@LadPolitics

          @tom_watson We’re pretty cautious with these markets, so not a huge amount but if a lot of people all want to get on at once we take notice.

          Boy, have a lot of punters got on at 25/1,and Ladbrokes have taken notice.


          • you must be 'avin a laugh says:

            the children may do better at english n maths if encouraged to twitterbitch n flutter on politics?

            then they could run a play group?


          • Lmfao says:

            Comment 33 made me laugh


          • poxdoctor says:



          • Hal-Al pork for all says:

            Govey is doing a wonderful job lifting our education standards out of the gutter but his missus didn’t really add anything to the debate.


          • Curly says:

            Women should be seen and not heard – cf , Sally, Sam, Slotgob, Nads, Harpic, Eeegles etc. The list is almost endless….


          • Hattie Harman says:



          • Twatson. says:

            Our Labour attack dogs are better than the oppositions’.
            We have been breeding them for decades in special rabid underpriviledged environments where education is at a premium.
            After training and indoctrination they get promoted and transferred to our many friends in the media and BBC.
            Recently we have found charities and NGO’s more than willing to take them, and we are negotiating with religious leaders.


  2. 3
    Fuido Gawkes says:

    here is a scan of a snippet purported to originate from The Guardian newspaper. The date bandied about is the 26th June 1997 but I can not confirm that absolutely.

    Apparently the writer of that letter has a 3 inch thick solid steel front door! I wonder why? What treasures and fruits lay beyond it…


    • 17
      He deserved that punch in Russia says:

      The non London address on that letter is the drop box address for a pre-school. Not sure if the pre-school was there back then, but a sick coincidence ?


  3. 4
    Dick Miliband says:

    Labour Education calling you a Gove attack dog…tis like calling Kevin Maguire a journalist


  4. 5
    Damned Impertinent Questions says:

    I thought that in working for the Gruinard, Laour stoogery was mandatory – as well as licking the Editor’s arse or polishing his piano keys


    • 18
      Anonymous says:

      Well, Tom Baldwin was a Murdoch hack – maybe when he worked at The Times he found Vine and Gove irritating shites in the same way that most of us do.


  5. 6
    sproggingforbenefits says:

    The socialists are revolting


  6. 7
    old SHEP says:

    Attack dogs V explosive wasps (2).


  7. 8
    R Swiper says:

    Right, hear this ….
    1 Tatchell will get the dawn doorbell from the Plod.
    2. The Guardian will go broke.
    3. The piano lid will fall and break Rusbridger’s fingers. Shame!
    4. Op Ore will be reopened.
    5. Who knows?


  8. 10
    Engineer says:

    Some journalists are political stooges. Can’t see why they throw a hissy fit when someone points the fact out. Blindingly obvious to everyone.

    The only thing that slightly surprised me in this story is that Alistair Campbell regards himself as still a hack. I know some on the left are prone to self-delusion, but that’s an epic one.


    • 131
      Gonk III says:

      Digital world destroyed their camouflage years ago. To continue pretence looks more stupid by the day.


  9. 12
    Drop a Daisy cutter on Owin Jones says:

    Ah, okay – hearing that the rumour Michael Gove is about to resign is actually being spread by Acme Party Hats Ltd.


  10. 13
    Another Headshrinker says:

    He writes for the Observer, clearly mentally defective and supports labour, clearly the lobotomy failed!


    • 19
      Walter Freeman Jr, MD says:

      Shoulda left it to me. I did ‘em right. Better to knock out too much brain, than not enough, I always said. Ask Ambassador Kennedy about his daughter– I fixed her up good and proper! She was never an embarrassment to him again! And Frances Farmer, the actress, too– she didn’t give her mother all that much grief afterwards, either!


  11. 14
    Tudor Birdhouse says:

    Toby Belm


  12. 15
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Now you’ve done it, Helm you old sonofabitch, you went and got the man’s wife angry with you– “The female of the species”, as they say…


    • 26

      It wasn’t intended to be funny. Where are the cars? Where are they? Look! Where do you know a street like that?


      • 41
        Tay King-dePisse says:

        If you ARE indeed the Cat:
        Actually, the joke was that, if you were asking if anybody saw the same thing you did, such a question is reminiscent of the Christmas carol I was parodying, and the joke was, that such a parody is obviously weeks late and many dollars short if done on 2 February, and is funnier, because more likely present in the front of people’s minds (rather than the back), during the Festive Season.
        I really was looking to poke fun at the Groundhog Day myth, a German custom brought to Pennsylvania by the original settlers in the very late 17th C., and how anything can be used as a portent of anything else, such as when Government statistics, used to show an improving economy, can be pointed to, with about as much likelihood of being correct as the reading of entrails.


        • 46

          I apologise as I know only too well here that a joke is not as funny if one has to explain it. But I was also making a point, a serious one unfortunately about the state of journalism which has to resort to images which seek (and fail) to make up for the poor quality of the scribes, nay hacks, nay damn it scribblers.

          So we precariously meet somewhere in the middle ground with a savage critique of the second and fourth estates as far as the French classifications will translate into our so-called modern affairs.


          • Piers Stefan O'Meara Pughe-Morgan says:

            There is nothing wrong with a phony picture, if it sells papers–(*AHEM!!! AHEM!!!*)– SERVES A HIGHER TRUTH, with the story it purports to show! Yeah, sure, that’s it, serves a higher truth! Yeah, that’s the ticket!

            Well, anyway, that WAS my story, and I DID stick to it, didn’t I?


          • Dr William Bоwden Ph.D. says:

            What we seem to be seeing here is a Metaphysical Route to Coherentism.


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            There are no excuses for Polanski – save his excuse merchants.


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Did assange – bugger a child?


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            How many US senators have gotten away with child abuse?


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Hopw many ex-police Police Commissioners are in denial that their ranks are INFESTED with criminals, frauds and child abusing duplicitous lying fucking pigs?


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            How many Local Councillors are ex-pigs and child abusers?


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Why is this man [the DR] being protected by the states bent pigs?



          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Good fucking night.


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            I lied about going to bed – is it a criminal offence that the EU police will have me banged up for?


          • Trying to understand why you raise a series of non-related issues here but I did read the link.

            Attempting suicide is often a way of getting attention. I have known some people who have attempted it unsuccessfully. When it happens at this age and is successful it seems such a tragic waste. The comments at the end of the article were interesting.

            Why do people suffer from loss of self-esteem? Difficult to tell when I have never been there or even close to it. But the instant gratification society we appear to live in cannot help. As an aside, the report states pretty teenager. It would not have made a story to say ugly teenager.

            I have known Bridgend since the late 1960s. It was rather drab but no worse than a lot of other places in the UK and better than some. In a very short time you can be by the sea at Porthcawl and the valleys and Brecons are close. It has had its ups and downs in employment but was not as badly hit as the valleys were.

            It is a Labour stronghold and all the other parties are also-rans. There has been a long succession of young suicides in the last decade which seem to be of a copycat nature. Is there any correlation in these two statements? Quite possibly but it only goes part way in answering the problem. There are more environmental factors to consider.

            I would add the directionless of life influenced by some parents and some teachers. The zombie effect of TV and modern culture. The effects of marketing in which someone without the latest gizmo is seen as an inferior being. The pressure and example set by her peers. She did not like herself and was an angry drunk. The pinnacle of her life was to cut off most of her hair and dye the rest blue. Come on. What does that tell us?

            What a pity she did not take herself off to Cardiff, Bristol, London, Paris, Berlin or even Sydney for a while and try her luck there. It might have turned out so differently.


          • Your Friendly Neighbourhood Epistemology Service says:

            @ 11:05 pm:
            The philosopher Edmund Gettier wrote in the 1960’s to the effect that “Right, but for the wrong reason” could never count as “Knowledge.” It might well be that your sincere belief corresponds with the actual fact of the matter, but how you get there is as important as the holding of the belief. Thus, it might well be that troopers abused civilians, and your belief that such is the case might be justifiable in terms of the real facts on the ground, but to say that “I know this is happening, because I saw it in Piers Morgan’s newspaper” cannot count as knowledge. That’s Piers’s sin in all this. There’s no room for lying which induces people to have intuitions about things, intuitions that may later be proved to be correct (if they correspond to the fact of the matter), but which intuitions are not correct in virtue of what got people to have those intuitions in the first place. Of course, when all you want to do is sell papers (or win elections), you don’t care HOW people come to agree with you (generously assuming you do have the facts on your side), only that they DO agree with you, and as long as the facts bear you out, and you are not shown to have played fast and loose, you will have ducked the bullet. Who cares if Piers was right or not, if people don’t trust him– they’ll never again say “I know it’s so ‘coz I saw it in Piers’s newspaper.” And if he doesn’t care whether people trust him, he’ll say any old bollocks to get an audience– oh excuse us, that IS what he’s doing, innit? We rest our case, m’Lud.


          • Not Blowing Whistles says:

            @BW : Thanks for posting that link.

            The suicide rates appear to be going up as the government have fixed the way that suicides are recorded. Labour made a change to the definitions such that the rates were depressed when they were in power. The real rates have actually been high for a long time.

            Bridgend is statistically significant, but this may be due to two reasons:

            i) It is
            ii) The coroners there ignored the Labour directives and have been consistent with their verdicts. This would, if looking at comparison trends, make Bridgend stand out.

            Have heard from other sources though that there are an odd number of suicides in some parts of South Wales: However, since the stats have been so badly screwed up over past 15 years, and as SC points out not all get reported, it is difficult to draw an objective conclusion.

            A$$ange / Child Abuse: Read his bio and family background from Australia and answer yourself. He is a big campaigner against in camera family court practices, particularly in keeping child abuse allegations secret.

            Any charges ? If no then the rumour is even less credible.

            Unless there is a seriously credible victim-witness with a credible independent eyewitness and a prosecution case which has some hard physical evidence, with charges, then my view would be: No.

            Anything will be tried to squeeze him out and discredit him.

            Word is there maybe a triple cross in the book he has published. Maybe worth picking up a copy of that plaintext before it gets banned.

            Strange how even Reuters are using his material as source now. Lots more to coming out…


          • MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD and COD FATHER of SOLE says:

            How many MP’s have got away with child abuse via a “D” notice?


          • Blowing Whistles says:




          • Not Blowing Whistles says:

            @MFH: Not that many.

            Some have been protected by the security services though, destroying records etc.

            From what I have read, libel action has been the main weapon.

            D-notices wouldn’t work as to get one too many people in government are involved. To cover up something of that nature you need to operate a little under the radar. A D-Notice out of the blue would only serve to confirm rumor in those cases.


  13. 16
    Kevin T says:

    When’s Labour going to have a judge-led inquiry into why social services in so many of its councils did nothing about child-grooming by Asian gangs?


    • 20
      Jo swinney says:

      Vote labour or we’ll steal and rape your children


    • 25
      Keel-haul Camertwat, C£€gg, B£iar, Brhoon, €ffigy of H€ath, daily – pour encourager les autres says:

      Tch tch! – keep up at the back boy!!!! It’s a veritable un-PC thing to do.

      Also, if you were to suggest that Progressive Fucking LieBore set up a system whereby it was easier for kids in LA care Homes to be . . . . um . . . . p r o c u r r e d you would also quickly find it was against their LieBore inspired yoomun fuckin roits


    • 84
      Cranky old git says:

      Not to mention an acid attack on a young woman in E. London clearly intended to impose sharia compliant modesty on local females ( she worked for Victoria’s Secret). Plod thinks it’s a random attack and is keeping an open mind (the attacker wore a niqab – something the Beeb didn’t report until people noticed everyone else had).


  14. 22
    Keel-haul Camertwat, C£€gg, B£iar, Brhoon, €ffigy of H€ath, daily – pour encourager les autres says:

    Tomorrow would be a good day for it – just by the HoC Terrace as they serve HoC subsidised Bolly and Petty Fours.

    Proceeds towards either

    1. the Respected Society for the Prosecution of Coalition Arseholes

    2. UKIP


  15. 23
    Jimmy says:

    Those are his “attack dogs”?


    • 24

      Nice grappa this!

      No need to worry, Jimmy. It will all blow over.


      • 31
        Jimmy says:

        Indeed it will. It won’t stop Guido however from spending another four years dining out on McBride though. As of today he is officially inside the tent pissing out.


        • 36

          Does it matter?

          Bivouac or marquee, does it matter?


          • Jimmy says:

            I spoke too soon. The serendipitously named Mr. Phibbs has joined the fray. Helm will rue the day.


          • Jimmy says:

            Now Greg Hands too. Can Burley and Wilson be far behind?


          • Jimmy. The rain tonight has been of biblical proportions driven by the high winds. A marvellous calm has now settled upon the place. Do not get upset by all this. It is not even a proverbial fleabite.

            Join me in a glass or two of this delicious medovača and allow the strain to escape. The sun will still come up tomorrow and if you wish, we can resume hostilities then.

            But for now, Jivoli!


          • Jіmmy. The rаіn tоnіght hаѕ been оf bіblісаl prоpоrtіоnѕ drіven by the hіgh wіndѕ. А mаrvellоuѕ саlm hаѕ nоw ѕettled upоn the plасe. Dо nоt get upѕet by аll thіѕ. Іt іѕ nоt even а prоverbіаl fleаbіte.

            Jоіn me іn а glаѕѕ оr twо оf thіѕ delісіоuѕ medоvаčа аnd аllоw the ѕtrаіn tо eѕсаpe. The ѕun wіll ѕtіll соme up tоmоrrоw аnd іf yоu wіѕh, we саn reѕume hоѕtіlіtіeѕ then.

            But fоr nоw, Jіvоlі!


          • Jimmy says:


            I’m way ahead of you there (although my wine sadly inferior to yours).

            And far from upset. The news from Cardiff was pleasing.


          • Generous of you to defer on one point, arguably the most important! :-)


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            I did post some time ago that the Left are totally dependent upon the right and ‘vice’ versa [Vice pun intended] for “both of their existences”. Thanks to billy boy and SC – I have been proven right – oops ‘Correct’ I mean … to be a bit more neutral.

            And who are both sides proped up by … well it ain’t that hard to bank on the answer is it? [Z’its all in it together anybody?]


          • You have proved nothing here BW.

            But before going off on another rant, you may care to look just below where it tells you to look above.

            I do hope you are not on substances.


        • 92
          Blowing Whistles says:

          Oh dear them mooody barstewards are out tonight.


  16. 28

    Observer reoprter LOL!


  17. 29
    Saffron says:

    More I see of these LIEBOUR assholes and their antics the more I despise them.
    This bunch of latter day morons who could not lie straight in bed are despicable in the extreme.
    From rich Bliar and his deals to the economic Gorgon what an unsavoury bunch of troughers they have become.
    These load of troughers representative of the working class which they used to be,for Ch–st sake don’t make me laugh.
    Union assholes coining in big bucks for jack shit,absolutely wonderful,when oh when are the union exploited fodder going to wake up and stop financing this bunch of commie assholes who are living it up at their expense.
    Now to be even handed,how many people think that firstly the towrags party considering what they have now morphed into under Cammoron and his economically illiterate mate Gideon will sort out our problems given that they are appeasing Cleggover and his insane party.
    Gay marriages,please feck off.
    Boundary changes,yes please bring it on,lets get some reality into representation on a proprotional basis.
    Postal voting,needs tight control in the extreme,should be for identifiable medical reasons only.
    Cammoron now involved in pr re the Mali issue,give it a rest Davy boy and concentrate on your own countries economic woes,rather than how much of the british taxpayers cash can I give away.
    Davy boy I can assure you that the electorate due to the net are no longer as thick as you think they are.
    Change your ways mate if you have any chance of winning the next election,this is what your grassroots is telling you in no uncertain terms.
    You need to read Cleggover his horoscope in no uncertain terms,and prove to your party that you are a conservative with a capital CCC or a one term chancer.
    The choice is yours mate,but I think I know which way a quisling will go.


    • 30
      Bluto says:

      Me too. That big gobbed socialist agitprop scribbler Toby Helm looks like a mutant clone of Bliar with his head pumped full of air.

      Can’t stand any of them.



  18. 33
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    The media would gain more respect if they admitted their political allegiance. This would be good for the reader. Why would the media not do this?


  19. 40
    Tosspot says:

    Perhaps they are all Barking up the Wrong Tree


    • 64
      Anonymous says:

      PMQ on 30th: The Syrian hunt question may blow up over the next week or two closer to home than anticipated.


  20. 42
    The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

    Anyone who fancies doing a little bit of detective work, puzzle over this.

    Will be common knowledge that celebs have specialist lawyers.

    One was jailed and infamously awarded money by the ECHR after his release. The details are linked to Grange Hill, Devon and a barr!ster specifically.

    Huge coincidence is it not that when the guy was released he moved to Richmond ?

    One wonders who his other clients were at the BBC and elsewhere.


    • 91
      Anonymous says:

      his debrett’s biography makes for interesting reading, especially the “recreations” section. as well as liking youth and community work and working with young offenders he’s into a bit of the old deep sea sailing. wonder if he ever knocked about with ted heath?


  21. 43
    Anonymous says:

    Why is half the news devoted to dickheads on Twitter?

    Does any normal person give a shit?


  22. 44
    Rip Van Winkle says:



  23. 45
    Reality says:

    Do not get this trolling of Gove at all. He seems to be doing a good job.

    That is, good compared against the record of a certain Ed Balls.

    Is this just cover for something that is likely to break over Haringey ? Baby P and the other cover-ups are seriously going to be hard to beat.


  24. 47
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Muslim lover fat boy Stephen Nolan is wetting his skidmarked Y fronts about Pork in Hakal meat. As usual the BBC wanking themselves stupid.


    • 194
      JH2498234058729034 says:

      Fuck them.

      Our children are exposed to reconstituted offal like the ‘Pork’ McRib but the mussies think they should get pure, high quality meat for ‘religious reasons’.

      Fuck them, fuck them, fuck them.


  25. 50
    Wigner's Friend says:

    General message to the Cat.

    How many more days is it now ?

    (Just to cheer you up: The blog equivalent of a saucer of milk one hopes)


    • 55
      Mrs Maud Smith, housekeeper says:

      The Reverend Clink is preparing tomorrow’s sermon. He burns the midnight oil to deliver what he sees as his duty. Unfortunately he had to go out yesterday and replace a substantial part of the communion wine which he had earlier sampled to ensure the highest quality. He felt he might have been rather over-conscientious in this regard. This act of replenishment has made seriously eroded his rather modest stipend.

      I suggest it better that we do not disturb him now but there may be several interesting days next week before we can establish the direction in which a certain participant may be headed after the conclusion.


  26. 56
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:


  27. 66
    Drop a Daisy cutter on Owin Jones says:

    An anonymous Twitter account called @toryeducation is regularly used to attack critical stories about both Gove and his department. It is often abreast of imminent Tory policies, suggesting it is coming from close to the centre of government. However, it is also used to rubbish journalists and Labour politicians while promoting Gove’s policies and career. Issuing party political material and indulging in personal attacks are both clear breaches of the special advisers’ code and the civil service code.

    In an unfortunate echo of the way the previous Labour government’s spin doctors smeared the weapons scientist David Kelly, the account has likened one respected reporter, the Financial Times’ education correspondent, Chris Cook, to Walter Mitty and suggested he was a “stalker”. It has also retweeted insinuations about his personal life.

    The Observer launched an investigation into @toryeducation last week after its political editor became a target. Last weekend the account accused Toby Helm of being “a Labour stooge” while he worked at the Daily Telegraph.


  28. 67
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Q. What is the puff of smoke at right angle to the barrel?

    Is it the remains of a previous discharge?



    • 72
      Tachybaptus says:

      I think it is the smoke from the previous shot drifting away, which by chance has taken a shape that makes it look as if it was coming out of the barrel. This is an over-and-under shotgun. Normally the lower barrel fires first, so Obama is firing a second shot with the upper barrel in this picture.


    • 98
      Lonica Mewinski says:

      Remains of a previous discharge from presidents are normally seen on someone’s dress aren’t they?


  29. 82
    Educated under a Labour Government. says:

    Can these idiots stop bickering and give us instructions on how to wipe our own arseholes.


  30. 96
    Mutually assured Labour destruction says:

    Who the fuck is Toby Helm… More to the point who gives a flying fuck what he says anyway.


  31. 101


    When you said you were going to bed but did not do so, were we all meant to start talking about you?

    An honest reply would be appreciated. ;-)


    • 106
      Not Blowing Whistles says:

      I think @BW is awesome. And I am not BW.


    • 206
      Blowing Whistles says:

      Whatever guilt or thoughts occupy ‘your mindset’ SC – I couldn’t really give a F.

      I will say one thing for this blog – many posters on here SC, many others and myself are and have been putting to shame the MSM and their dead tree press perceptions of a ‘free press’. Political hacks across the political spectrum only publish what is allowed on party lines.

      Here at least we can cut across and incisevly into the political drivel and party political propaganda that is not what a ‘free press’ write of.


  32. 102

    Note to education minister Michael Gove

    Teach wife to spell

    “he’s a political activist not a neutral reoprter @observerfail”

    Spelling is very important if she wants to carry on being a “Reoprter”
    a definite “Observer Fail”


  33. 109

    Bed time me thinks


  34. 120
    Drop a Daisy cutter on Owin Jones says:

    All Owin Jones wants is to feel beautiful, special, wanted and loved.


    • 124
      Correction says:

      Like all Socialist sub-human filth, all Owin wants is a bullet in the head.


    • 125
      Bloke at Delphi says:

      Let’s deal with this:

      Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
      A special is £35.
      Wanted is when the filth are after you.
      Loved is 8 inches of throbbing gristle up your jacksie.

      There. Pour me a libation, would you?


  35. 127
    Anonymous says:

    “Times journalist Sarah Vine is married to Michael Gove”

    Not only that, apparently she’s had sex with him.



  36. 129
    Dave"The One Term Prime Minister" Cameron says:

    Some bloke bibbed his horn and waved at me this morning.

    “Who the hell is that?” I thought, as I stood there staring.

    Then he did it again.

    So I slowly walked towards him and looked through the windscreen, but I still didn’t recognise him.

    As he stepped out of the car I said, “Do I know you, mate?”

    He said, “Get out of the fucking road!”


  37. 134
    Toby Helm says:

    This is the end for David Cameron.

    Meanwhile, the Sunday Telegraph reports that some 180 Conservative MPs, including six whips and up to four members of the Cabinet, are ready to defy the prime minister’s plan to legalise gay weddings.


    • 137
      Your question for a tenner says:

      “the prime minister’s plan to legalise gay weddings.”

      Did a previous government ever have the right to outlaw gay weddings in the first place? Imagine if gay weddings had always been legal, and Cameron decided to rush-through legislation outlawing them. Would outlawing them have caused a bigger fuss than allowing them? And would the fuss have been made by the very same people?


    • 141
      albacore says:

      Don’t know what he fuss is all about
      Our Dave’s the man, the man with the clout
      Typical Dave idea, gay wedding
      Chuck out the baby. Keep the bedding


    • 142
      Pawn Sandwich says:

      Yes but think of the implications to the BBC pension fund. :)


    • 156
      Cameron ploughs on to utter defeat in 2015 says:

      Forecast 120 against plus 60 abstentions(inc Cabinet members)….you have to hand it to Cameron…he may win the vote but he’s lost his party’s support in the process.


      • 158
        Catty Comment (Ms) says:

        Time for the grey suits to stop muttering and get their blasted fingers out (metaphorically speaking of course).


  38. 136
    National Socialist says:

    So house prices are plummeting along the HS2 route, and previously agreed sales are falling through. Houses worth millions are now next to worthless.

    Well done Cameron and Osborne.


    • 140
      Your question for a tenner says:

      Part of a cunning plan?

      Cameron and Osborne buy the houses for pennies, then announce they’re scrapping HS2, then sell the houses for a tidy profit.


      • 153
        STuN says:

        Don’t forget, they’ll be claiming the interest on the loans!


        • 159
          National Socialist says:

          So a year ago, you bought a house for £2million with a hefty mortgage, now you couldn’t sell it for half of that, but you still owe £1.8m. What will your bank say about security (and I don’t mean buy a dog)?


    • 161
      Catty Comment (Ms) says:

      They should now announce that after further consideration this train set will be extended to every village, town and hamlet in the country. That will cure the housing bubble before Friday! Then we can start getting back to something like normal again.


  39. 146
    Toby Helm says:

    I had a bit of a lazy day sitting in my underpants looking for jobs online.

    My boss was furious.


  40. 147
  41. 148
    Alexander Litvinenko says:

    USA – Russia reset again? What about me?


  42. 154
    STuN says:

    Anyway folks, don’t forget to polish your keyboards in readiness for tomorrow!



  43. 159
    One Term Dave says:

    Gay marriage, the one thing everybody in the country is demanding, is almost on the statute books.


  44. 162
    Operation Crossbow says:

    The endless vag licking of Hillary Clinton by the BBC is sickening. She’s been a total failure just like her Kenyan muslim boss.


    • 168
      Catty Comment (Ms) says:

      But one of the telly channels tells us that in her time as SoS she has racked up over a million air miles.

      Doing her bit for the environMENTAL Al Gore rhythm I suppose.


  45. 162
    P l e b says:

    If Ed Miliband promised to cancel HS2 if Labour forms the next government, would that guarantee him winning the next election?

    Ed, are you reading this?


  46. 165
    H a r r y W e b b says:

    Ahem – is it safe to come home yet?


  47. 167
    Bollocks Broadcasting Corporation says:

    There is only one story today and for the next few weeks. It is an absolute disgrace that prisoners have been eating non-halal meat.


    • 170
      Catty Comment (Ms) says:

      It is an even bigger national disgrace that immigrants/muzzies are being housed in relative luxury in our jails at our expense instead of simply being deported (with no right of return ever) instantly on being found guilty.


      • 172
        Jean-Paul Sartre says:

        Do as we do in France. We simply deport the fuckers because we know that the Court of Human Rights will do nothing. You English are too soft.


      • 181
        All halal here, nothing to see, move along. says:


        • 184
          I eat mine on a mat, how do you eat yours? says:

          Traces of Religion found in NZ Lamb, Sunday dinner will never be the same.

          Mint sauce anyone?


    • 199
      Lou Scannon says:

      Absolutely. They should be on bread and water.


  48. 171
    anon. says:

    Meanwhile, BBC staff told: Don’t wash your feet in the sink!

    3rd,4th,5th,6th and 7th floor! Not sure why the sign is in English only are they raaacist ? ! ;-)



    • 186
      Freddy Trueman says:

      there comes a time in every man’s life when he must have a piss in the sink.


      • 189
        Michael fucking Parkinson says:

        Oi Fred, did they ever find your toe? Heard a rumour is was found in a Goldthorpe’s pie.

        I’m from yarkshire too.


      • 202
        Lenny Bruce says:

        I once said that the only man who had the moral authority to judge me and find me wanting, was the man who had never urinated in the sink.


    • 196
      mohammmed says:

      Are we mu551es supposed to hang from the ceiling to dry our feet.

      We demand a Dyson foot dryer


      • 200
        Boris Johnson says:

        Calm down chaps. We have a new scheme starting in London which the BBC will be piloting. Young unemployed white people to have work experience in media studies and drying the feet of Muslims.

        This will bring down unemployment, give hope and save electricity.

        tally ho


    • 204
      Anonymous says:

      My friend was in a University with a high third world immigrant intake and recalls going for a pee in one of the union bogs. Well, he’s there merrily pissing away, when suddenly, there’s a loud crash, bang, wallop and a third worlder comes smashing through one of the cubicle doors behind him, one foot down the pan, face flat on the floor, trousers/pyjamas round his ankles. He came to the conclusion that matey boy, obviously more used to squatting over a hole in the ground, had tried to execute a shit whilst precariously balanced, feet first on the toilet seat. The dusty shoeprints on the seat sort of gave the game away.


      • 211
        Ruddy 'ard Kippling says:

        East is east and west is west and never the twain shall meet – not even in the middle.


  49. 174
    Toby Helm says:

    Prime Minister David Cameron has vowed to continue sending ‘many millions’ abroad in the next few years.

    It isn’t a pledge to continue Foreign Aid donations, he just plans to make emigration the best possible option for most of us.


    • 175
      One Term Dave says:

      I am simply responding to the will of the people. After gay marriage, increasing foreign aid is my most popular policy.


  50. 176
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Damned by faint praise…..


  51. 178
    Meanwhile up in Northumbria says:

    I demand a 3.5% rise in the police precept! Labour politicians know how to tax and spend!


  52. 185
    Hmm says:

    “We don’t know what this substance is or what it might be doing to the birds.

    “But, we can say the margarine does seem to remove it and we are doing all we possibly can to give them the best chance of survival.”

    Have they tried STORK margarine


    • 193
      Rumpleforeskin says:

      I remember this happening 20 odd years ago, I rescued a few had been washed up and handed on to RSPCB, that was an oil slick where the Guillemots had ingested the oil while trying to preen it off which then burnt their intestines. Hopefully this palm oil is not corrosive in that way and more will survive if cleaned up.


  53. 188
    Baldy Pevsner says:

    Message to Muslims : If you can’t eat the swine , don’t do the crime.


  54. 190
    Met Office says:

    Because of global warming,we are now seeing a different kind of rain than what we’re used to. This is the kind of crucial information which justifies our funding.


  55. 192
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Obama tests out gun that can shoot straight and round corners at same time.



  56. 195
    rebekah aka nellnewman says:

    Gove’s not going anywhere. The majority of parents , at least those that want their kids to get on, rate him as the best education minister in years.


    • 198
      STuN says:

      personally I can’t stand the slavering c*nt. However, he does not seem to have the predeliction for cottaging, cock sucking and bum sex.

      Not all bad then…


  57. 197
    Lou Scannon says:

    If there’s a word of truth in this then Cameron’s effectively signed the warrant for his own political death :



  58. 213
    the savant10.4 highway patrol says:

    I so not know the minutiae of this story so I will not Comment ….

    Except to say that sarahvine was on Womans Hour recently telling all she is going bald and has been known to wear a wig.


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