February 2nd, 2013

Saturday Seven Up

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You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


99 Comments

  1. 1
    Drop a Daisy cutter on Owen Jones says:

    Getting dropped off in the taxi last Friday night and the driver said to me,
    ” That will be £5.50 please mate” . I said,
    “aww shit, Ive only got a fiver can you reverse a bit”

  2. 2
    Tosser Watch says:

    You are a complete cretin, kill yourself oxygen thief.

  3. 3
    Gay Marriage is the LAST STRAW ISSUE says:

    3 days to the Gay Marriage vote.

    Wake up now Dave & Co.

    There is going to be a mass transfer of core Conservative support to UKIP if it is approved.

  4. 4
    England says:

    Enjoy it while you can Taffy……

  5. 5

    Oh God, Taffy has not yet gone to bed. Give it a rest, mate.

    Better still, try 4chan. They will love you there.

  6. 6
    Drop a Daisy cutter on Owin Jones says:

    David Beckham is busy learning French before his move to Paris.

    Victoria bought him a box set of Allo Allo

  7. 7
    genghiz the kahn says:

    I see that some Khant has tried to steal my identity.

  8. 8
    England says:

    This royal throne of kings,this sceptered isle,This earth of majesty,this seat of Mars,
    This other Eden,demi-paradise;This fortress built by nature for herself,against infection and the hand of war;This happy breed of men,this little world,This precious stone set in the silver sea,Which serves it in the office of a war,or as a moat defensive to a house,Against the envy of less happier lands;This blessed plot,this earth, this realm,this England….This land of such dear souls,this dear,dear land,Dear for her reputation through the world.

  9. 9
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD and COD FATHER of SOLE says:

    So Pants on fire Ca-moron has” LIED” once again . The tax break for married couples will not be in the budget , even though it was a in the Tory manifesto of “Cast Iron promises” The reason given “They want to concentrate on Growing the economy “Well you are doing a spiffing job on that front you shower of tossers .
    .
    So as it stands at the moment , the only iota of truth in the Tory manifesto was
    the printers name at the bottom of the back page

  10. 10
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD and COD FATHER of SOLE says:

    For once i see a reason to post a video clip relevant to a comment Unlike “Blodwyn”
    As an ex player this still rates as possibly the best try ever IMO

  11. 11
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    We LibDems support gay marriage ,

    there are votes in it, besides the Party is three quarters full of Benders and assorted Perverts, me included. Boaz.

  12. 12

    Never mind. He is encouraging the Algerian government to introduce gay marriage and they have not yet ruled it out so there is real hope.

    Good morning, sir. It is coming down in buckets here.

  13. 13
    STuN says:

    Think I might have a day off on Monday, just to really enjoy the tweets from Huhnes court case.

  14. 14

    I would imagine it has been marked down as a three or four day trial. You may want to consider which is the best day.

  15. 15
    albacore says:

    Councils champing the bit to cut unemployment
    Would give council tax payers far more enjoyment
    By identifying illegal immigrants
    Among employment and benefits applicants

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-21298784

  16. 16
    Vote UKIP says:

    The excuse for the Tories is that what we have is NOT a Tory government. It is a coalition where the Lib Dems tell the Tories what to do. Seriously most of what happens in Westminster is driven by the Lib Dems. Even a Referendum on the EU will have to wait for the highly unlikely event the Tories get in next time.

  17. 17
    STuN says:

    Fuck it I’ll take the week off, this could be too good to miss.

  18. 18
    STuN says:

    Hidden stats show that 223,000 young muslims cpmpleted training courses in running money laundering takeaways and insurance fraud shops.

  19. 19

    Cripes! You could almost categorise that as perversion… ;-)

    Ooops! Sorry your honour!

  20. 20
    albacore says:

    In his finest hour, Dave’s a man made of smoke
    Still, the Tories reckon that he’s their top bloke
    Mind you, ain’t he got some stiff competition
    In all of Labour and the coalition?

  21. 21
    STuN says:

    BBC News…. Traces of Porker found in Foreign Secretary!

  22. 22
    T'Old Fella says:

    Let those of the Cons that want to <depart instead of talking about it, DO IT. If they want to Join the UKippers fair enough, Farrage would be delighted to welcome a bunch of ready made MPs willing to do his will. It is strange all this rattle coming from the right of the Cons and not one Tory MP has put his money where his/her mouth is, what is the matter with them, ARE THEY FRIT?

  23. 23
    Dave doesn't actually care what the Tory Head bangers think they can feck off to UKIP says:

    Dave is not only going against the wishes of the majority of his core vote but he is also rubbing their noses in it by pledging to increase the Overseas Budget in real terms year by legislation to guarantee this for next 20 years whilst running down Defence Budget…the Daily Mail and its readership are NOT happy bunnies this morning

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2272218/DAILY-MAIL-COMMENT-Put-Armed-Forces-foreign-aid.html#axzz2JjXle2K1

  24. 24
    Camoron's career is littered with lies says:

    Don’t worry – Dave’s made a cast-iron guarantee that if he fails in his efforts to lose the next election (and he’s trying really really hard on that count), then he’ll absolutely definitely give us a referendum on our EU membership.

    After he’s spent hundreds of millions of pounds of our money telling us that we’ll all get gangrene and leprosy if we vote “NO”.

  25. 25
    Anonymous says:

    So there’s pork in the prison food.

    You’re in prison. You get what you’re given.

  26. 26
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD and COD FATHER of SOLE says:

    Good morning sir , Who is coming in buckets ?

    What we don’t realise ,is every time this cock goes swanning off on a jolly , he is waving the taxpayers cheque book to “assist in the fight against terror”to oil rich countries , who must piss their sides laughing as he throws our money away

  27. 27
  28. 28
    Gosh, they're so law-abiding. says:

    According to today’s Times, 12.5% of the prison population are Muslim.

    According to Wikipedia, Muslims account for 2.7% of the UK population.

    Their presence in our country is soooo beneficial.

  29. 29
    The electorate really are gullible...once elected politicians couldn't care less what you think says:

    Party Manifestoes are not “Cast Iron Guarantees” of actually implementing what is in them if a party is elected…they’re just to persuade the gullible to vote for that particular party…once elected politicians can cite all sorts of reasons why they would really really like to implement the policies in their Manifesto but…the “time is not right”; their “Coalition Partners won’t let them” or the pledges were not pledges but just “aspirations”

  30. 30
    Tommy Gun says:

    They could always eat lead.

  31. 31
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD and COD FATHER of SOLE says:

    Even worse than that , we might turn into “Europeans”
    don’t know about the rest of you , but i’m English Not fuckin European

  32. 32
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    I don’t know. Why are you?

  33. 33
  34. 34
    albacore says:

    If you believe that, then you’ll believe owt
    We had one cast-iron pledge from that scrote
    What’s the old saying, once bitten, twice shy?
    Parliament gets fat on pie in the sky

  35. 35

    Not me… this morning… yet ;-)

    The problem is that the cheques are not worth the paper they are printed on. The A’s are soon going to start dropping off our credit rating like limbs off a leper!

  36. 36
  37. 37
    Ex long term Tory supporter says:

    About one third of the Conservative M.P.s will lose their seats in 2015 as a direct result of pissing off the core vote, and failing to get the boundary changes through.

    There will not be a conservative majority Government for a generation, or possibly ever again.

    Spendthrift Dave and his PC mates are directly responsible for this impending disaster.

  38. 38
    T'Old Fella says:

    Calm down dear

  39. 39
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD and COD FATHER of SOLE says:

    Meat company’s contract cancelled because they have been supplying Halal meat to prisons that contained pork !
    Prison meat has to be halal because a large proportion of the prison population is muslim
    Makes you wonder what other crap these meat companies are buying from eastern Europe to put in our food
    one thing i do know is that a lot of salami contains Donkey meat

  40. 40
    STuN says:

    Perversion you say. I would have you know I do not and never have ponced around in red robes and a £500.00 wig.

    I rest my case.

  41. 41
    STuN says:

    Is that from the ‘Tesco’s finest’ range?

  42. 42
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD and COD FATHER of SOLE says:

    FFS it wasn’t an invitation to empty you tubes archive !

  43. 43
    The Public says:

    They are just rent-seekers and would-be placemen. They all want their salaries and expenses and don’t want to put all that potential money where their mouths are. The Labour benches are the same. A Parliament of fakes who don’t really believe in anything very much.

  44. 44
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    I’m hungry…I could eat a dead donkey.

  45. 45
    The Public says:

    The rest of them risk being strung up by an angry public, but they are too stupid to see that

  46. 46
    STuN says:

    Halal or full fat?

  47. 47
    Al Keeda says:

    Curry Mile, Rusholme. Oh no we don’t.

  48. 48
    Casual Observer says:

    From the 2010 manifesto, the following have either been done or not broken yet:

    i) Safeguard credit rating (we have not been downgraded yet), central bank interest rates kept down, ‘25%’ of deficit reduced so far.
    ii) ‘Greenhouse gas emissions’ may have gone down a bit, but more due to recession than anything else.
    iii) The Olympics happened.
    iv) Council tax revaluations plan scrapped (well not happened yet).
    v) Reversal of commercialization of childhood, but more due to recession than anything else.
    vi) Alcohol price fixing.
    vii) Scale back ‘Labour database state’ (cancel ID Cards etc.)

    That is all from a 100 page document.

    No gay marriage commitment in that document.

  49. 49
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Originally……

    Huhne trial set for October. The trial of former Energy Secretary Chris Huhne and his ex-wife Vicky Pryce has been set for early October and listed for two weeks.

  50. 50
    The Public says:

    Or better still, stay out of prison by obeying the law.

  51. 51
    D Wing says:

    Do prisoners have a right to demand that they are given food that no-one has prayed over?

  52. 52

    A stiff sentence seems likely.

  53. 53
    the judge and jury says:

    @Tosser Watch.

    That’s way to good for this one. Will try to think up something more lasting and horrific.

  54. 54
    Alfred Caldwell-Moore says:

    So AAA turns into AA, but after that …..

    
    

    That must be when it goes super-nova.

  55. 55
    the judge and jury says:

    OK I think we’ve got to give some slack here, taffy is obviously one leek short of a leek and potato hotpot.

  56. 56
    Optimist says:

    Maybe those living in the 12th century will all choose to starve rather than eat the nasty meat!!!

  57. 57
    The Sheep that winked says:

    Hell hath no fury like a taffy scorned.

  58. 58
    Labour 25 says:

    Exaro news are covering this.

    Since Yewtree changed it’s PR procedure so have the other investigations (there are about 30 large ones going on across the country). Fernbridge is also following. Exaro coverage interesting as it looks like the investigative journalists are actually helping police investigation: Sort of the way the relationship should work between press and police on these stories.

    A good reason is that not all of those implicated in Elm were involved with children. Big difference between fag and nonce, or small difference depending on how you look at it. Excessive publicity in MSM will be counterproductive, and MSM likely will screw up the results.

    eg. At present giving impression that a pop star is a nonce.

    Richmond council and social services is the direction where the pitchforks should be sent first in this case. They likely will as Richmond has not been Labour controlled, unlike Rochdale / Rotherham etc., so this will be good propaganda / activist fodder.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richmond_upon_Thames_local_elections

    Richmond was under no overall and Lib Dem control during the 80s, but Conservative 1962-1982.

  59. 59
    A Clever Nest of Tables says:

    We’ve met Michael fucking Parkinson several times

  60. 60
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    In Oliver Cromwell’s day, they were a Parliament of, inter alia, “whoremasters.”
    Today, they are a “Parliament of Whores,” as in the phrase P.J. O’Rourke famously used to describe the US Congress.
    And just like the punch line to that old chestnut, it’s obvious what they are, all that’s left to do is to set the pr!ce.

  61. 61
    the judge and jury says:

    ……make that two leeks..

  62. 62

    Yes but the preliminaries have been got out of the way now which were probably included in that original estimate.

  63. 63

    Betelgeuse is in Orion!

  64. 64
    Casual Observer says:

    Avoid any cheap meats from the continent, or which has been packed there.

    Russia recently banned all imports German meats as they found dioxin contamination: That is carcinogenic and can cause psychiatric problems.

    Some good arguments for going vegetarian right now, but UK meats should be safe. Assuming you trust the Food Standards Agency which missed the horse content of beef burgers.

  65. 65
    soap dropper says:

    Pork is definitely on the menu round here.

  66. 66
    █████ Watch says:

    Butt plug ?

  67. 67
    Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

    And the bad news is?

  68. 68
    Brian Cocks says:

    I can see Uranus.

  69. 69
    STuN says:

    New fast food chain born in Barnsley, Osborne predicts bright future.

    “Gristle King” will employ disabled people from the community and welcomes franchisees, especially from the ethnic section.

  70. 70
    Michael Philip Jagger says:

    I know Mars is there.

  71. 71
    Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

    Tax breaks are a great incentive for immigrants to get married. Think of all the weddings in Bulgaria. Romania and Somalia before they come here.

  72. 72
    the judge and jury says:

    There’s no punishment thought up yet that would do you justice taffy.

  73. 73
    National Socialism is Socialism says:

    Perhaps it should be made very clear to all of them that there is pork in all their food.

    Some decent prison riots would make for some wonderful multi-culti TV.

  74. 74
    Casual Observer says:

    ‘Gristle King’ : Sound like perfect caterers for a gay marriage reception.

  75. 75
    the judge and jury says:

    Getting pissed and watching grown men chase a suppository shaped ball around a muddy field is just about your mark taffy.

  76. 76
    a nod is as good as a wink... says:

    There is an answer…

  77. 77
    Hahahahahaha says:

    Goodbye taffy!

  78. 78
    P l e b says:

    Don’t forget they’re Tories on here. They shag them up the arse…

  79. 79
    Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

    Of course they don’t!

  80. 80
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    We have run out of rope and piano wire!

  81. 81
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    He got that wrong then, n’est-ce pas?

  82. 82
    Catty Comment (Ms) says:

    Or even stay right out of the country.

  83. 83

    I would find that hard to swallow.

  84. 84
    Fly half/fly blown? says:

    Oh bugger wugger we prefer footsie.

  85. 85
    Dylan Thomarse says:

    Taffy was a Welshman
    Taffy was a thief
    We had a lot of horseburgers
    When we really asked for beef.

  86. 86
    Michael Parkinson says:

    Actually, I used a stunt nest. Don’t beleive everything you hear from a set of celebrity tables.

    By the way, did you know I am from Yorkshire?

  87. 87
  88. 88
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD and COD FATHER of SOLE says:

    Avoid the “Stuffed Crust” pizza

  89. 89
    The man on the Clapham Omnibus says:

    very witty exchange – i don’t think so

  90. 90
    The man on the Clapham Omnibus says:

    :(

  91. 91
    The man on the Clapham Omnibus says:

    !

  92. 92
    The man on the Clapham Omnibus says:

    twat watch

  93. 93
    The man on the Clapham Omnibus says:

    pot kettle

  94. 94
    T'Old Fella says:

    I have come to that conclusion as well, just placemen in nice safe jobbies for life, they can do their main jobbie being an MP is just a bonus, by the way they want more money + increased expenses

  95. 95
    T'Old Fella says:

    Aw gov’nor ‘ave I run or ya foot, sorry forget the 50p

  96. 96

    You sad omnibus person #1

  97. 97

    You sad omnibus person #2

  98. 98

    You sad omnibus person #3

  99. 99

    You sad omnibus person #4


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