January 31st, 2013

Guidogram Going Out Shortly

The Guidogram round-up of the week is going out shortly.

Thousands of Westminster insiders read the Guidogram, everyone from Downing Street insiders to Fleet Street never miss it. Don’t miss out on all the gossip on Chris Huhne, Adam Afriyie, Max Mosley and Les Mis.

Join the conspiracy and become a subscriber to the Guidogram, free, to keep in the loop. You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


  1. 1
    Diane Abbott says:

    I’m going out shortly.

    To KFC.


  2. 2
    HMV tries to Tweet and says:

    Why is Twitter still down ? ** innocent face **


    • 8
      Britain's companies are run by cretins says:

      It’s amazing that as HMV hemorrhaged cash, it still employed some tw@t to tweet to fellow tw@ts.

      I guess they thought that ‘embracing’ the ‘social media’ ‘community’ was, like, so rad and important to ‘leverage’ the ‘retail experience’ ‘moving forwards’.

      And lo, we see the result of the effort.


    • 17
      Interesting Quote says:

      There’s no such thing as bad publicity except your own ob!tuary.


  3. 4
    Putr1d Labour ruined my Country says:

    Why are so many Labour MPs morbidly obese?


  4. 5
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am Hulk


  5. 6
    Kebab Time says:

    I never miss it.


  6. 12
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    “Gossip,” and “Chris Huhne,” in the same sentence? Thought there must have been a superinjunction in place. You can barely report that the fellow even EXISTS. In fact, I’m even starting to wonder about that myself. You can go to the Court House and wait for Godot. One of these days you’ll have to tell me all about it, if and when he’s finally convicted. If I’m still living then.


    • 16
      Carter, Liar and Ruck it says:

      We have put a super injunction out to protect the pervert Huhne

      Sadly, no one pays any attention to us or Shillings and Pence any more

      How will we earn huge fees in the future?


    • 20

      Dearly Beloved,

      Four more days! Four more days! Four more days! Four more days! Four more days! Four more days! Four more days!

      In the name of The Father, and of The Son, and of The Holy Spirit.


      The Reverend Clink is recovering from his strenuous efforts after oversampling the communion wine on Tuesday, solely in the interests of protecting the safety of his flock…


      • 27
        Archy Bish says:

        I only applied as a joke you know. They must be really scraping the barrel.


        • 62

          Yes, we know that. But it seems almost unbelievable to discover that there will be an Archbishop of Canterbury who actually believes in God.

          Has not happened in living memory.


          • Anonymous says:

            the source of all is in the heart, the home of the soul.
            while the soul sleeps, the heart darkens.
            to discover, look. what colour is the light there?

            holy is nature but earth is dark. so what colour is the spirit.

            the physical and the astral has been mastered. celestial ownership is make belief. but what the heck, in a black is white world no reason why that cannot be faked……more….technology is a great blessing….for the master of all.

            the absolute truth. in the undistracted heart. all else is relative.


  7. 13
    The Receiver says:

    Who is this guy Guido?

    He’s too old to be you…or neo-con Guido…



    • 18

      Plod’s onto a good one here. No nasty gang scenes or trying to trace goods which are handled by fences. No dealing with people who can’t speak the language. No angry mobs. No contact with the religion of peace. If only every job was like this!


    • 118
      Sir William says:

      Operation Kalmyk – the Kalmyks were the victims of one of Stalin’s random genocides, as any Guardian reader would tell you.


      • 233
        Uncle Joe says:

        Next I’ll deal with the Guardian Readers as you lot clearly can’t!


      • 238
        Anonymous says:

        And “Operation Gladio” was (and may be still?) a far-right operated by the CIA and MI6 through NATO, which killed hundreds of innocent Europeans and attempted to blame the deaths on Baader Meinhof, Red Brigades and other left wing groups. Known as ‘stay-behinds’ these armies were given access to military equipment which was supposed to be used for sabotage after a Soviet invasion. Instead it was used in massacres across mainland Europe as part of a CIA Strategy of Tension. Gladio killing sprees in Belgium and Italy were carried out for the purpose of frightening the national political classes into adopting U.S. policies.

        What is you view on this Sir William?


  8. 21
    Matthew Robinson says:

    Huhne? Who he?

    Come on, Guido. What the hell is happening?

    Is there a court case or isn’t there?

    What the f*ck is going on?


  9. 23
    Casual Observer says:

    What has happened to Guido’s Twitter feed at the top of the page ?


  10. 25
  11. 32
    Private Eye says:

    Guidogram Going Out Shortly


  12. 33
    Sane Person says:

    The increasingly sad end of a once great country:

    “Four US states considering laws that challenge teaching of evolution”



  13. 35
    Revenge is sweet sayeth the Lord says:

    46-year-old officer from Scotland Yard’s Diplomatic Protection Group arrested for alleged leaks to media in ‘plebgate’ row, police say – PA


  14. 36
    Brown out and pay me damages. says:

    Another week gone.


  15. 38
    Pleb says:

    Metropolitan Police detectives have arrested a police constable as part of the Andrew Mitchell “plebgate” investigation.

    The 46-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of misconduct in a public office and the unauthorised disclosure of information to the media.

    Mr Mitchell quit as government chief whip after it was alleged he called Downing Street police “plebs”, which he denies.

    CCTV footage has cast doubt on the original police accounts of the row.


  16. 47

    Does anyone actually watch the BBC any more?


  17. 48
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    British jobs for British workerski !


    • 53
      BBC taking the piss out of the license fee payer says:

      We will revise those figures immediately.


    • 63
      Bluebottle says:

      I am an apprentice washer upper.

      I work 67 hours a week for a multi national company .

      They arrange a taxi to and from work.


    • 218
      Jimmy says:

      Of course anyone who tells you that this has anything to do with avoiding minimum wage by calling your staff “apprentices” is a liar and a communist.


  18. 55
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:


    The alleged offence took place so long ago I have no recollection of even owning a car at that date.


  19. 56
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

    Auf wiedersehen, Piotr


  20. 57

    Did Chinese Hackers Hit NY Times?


    Strange. What would commies want to hack a lefty rag? And Wen Jiabao’s family is even richer than Tony Blair. Has the world turned upside down?


    • 64
      當我還是個小伙子 says:



    • 72
      NYT Watch says:

      Likely hit because of the running of the story. Bloomberg will be next.


      • 77

        Agree. Replied to you on Spectator Watch this morning BTW.


        • 92
          NYT Watch says:

          You may have the wrong chap: Am not FGT and would not use his monicker either :-)


        • 98

          I know that. I was referring to B██████████t.

          Now you are going to say you are not him either… :-)


          • NYT Watch says:

            Honestly, no am not, and would never refer to you as ‘cat in a box’. Dr Zeus at the outside ;-)

            Read through the threads and totally get where you are coming from.

            My views are fully aligned with yours on press censorship + fully understand your irritation with the inversion of enlightenment which is going on in the UK.

            Thanks for pointing me back to this mornings threads.


          • My mistake. One thinks one recognises the style and inevitably makes mistakes. I felt that there must be a point at which we would have to differ and took that as an example of it. So what I said was actually directed to you, not to him. More to say at some future point.


          • oh fuck, noooooo! says:

            “More to say at some future point.”


          • The Mounted Police says:

            Give us a kiss :-)


          • @NYTW

            If you might have known a certain Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus, then this



          • NYT Watch says:

            I re-read more closely B*’s comments and I can see from where your confusion may have stemmed. Agree with you on your other point, which is why checked back through the threads.

            There is the possibility that NYT was a false flag.

            Running stories like this:


            Builds credibility of Ch!nese motivation.

            However, NYT is experiencing a lot of layoffs at present so the ‘attack’ could have been launched from within the US.

            Certain stories covered in the NYT recently are causing problems for the Ch!nese government domestically.

            Mentioned Bloomberg only assuming the simple logic that if this is Ch!na’s motivation for attack it would be next logical target on the list. Tougher nut to crack, but much bigger prize in some respects.

            I know anyone can deduce that but just want to state for the record, and of course there are many reasons why it is very weak argument, but yet very credible and hence easy to believe. That is the real importance.

            Notice how the MSM is now going negative wrt Ch!na ? Big tell there if you know what you’re looking at.

            Looks like things hotting up in Senkaku. Not sure what would happen if debt ceiling not raised: The simple threat of a US default to Ch!nese creditors is somewhat aggressive don’t you think ? :-)


          • Deng Xiaoping said that Senkaku should be left to the wiser heads of later generations, thereby exhibiting more wisdom than those he was expecting to be in power now.

            I get this feeling they are not old heads any more and have an impatience which we may all live to regret.

            Maybe we have a zeitgeist of insanity in the 21st century?


          • NYT Watch says:

            My take is roughly as follows:

            There is a massive shift in the power balance of south As!a between !ndia / Ch!na / US, which is gathering pace right now. I speak below on immediate issue with Senkaku so am going to exclude !ndian element.

            Ch!na is pulling all stops out now as they realize that time is short to make their move.

            If they do not consolidate their position before the pivot is complete they will not be able to for a long time, likely several generations as per Xiaoping.

            Curiously the US military services are allowing this to happen at present. This may be to lessen the size of defense cuts.

            That consideration helps explain an obvious contradiction:


            The Ch!nese are very concerned about the possibility of US Government default. At present they know that they cannot do anything about that situation.

            A US default would likely finish the Ch!nese government domestically. The impact would be felt directly by the people who would then perceive their government as being weak, and any credible perceptions of the government being corrupt would likely be enhanced. Such is the way antipathy works.

            The Ch!nese military would likely side with the people if that situation came to pass, unless the government has a convincing back up plan.

            A forward base at Senkaku changes Ch!na’s position radically.

            A credible plan B for their government would be to look west rather than east themselves.

            Provided they can defend their coast, which they can, direct trade with Mongolia, and the ‘stans’ on their border is becoming much more doable as time passes.

            No one has really considered the scenario of the Ch!na turning it’s back on the US. This could do more damage to US power than direct confrontation, at least until the US has restored some of it’s export markets.

            There is unlikely to be any insanity in the Senkaku situation. The realpolitik played out may not seem sane if looked at through a European lens.

            Xiaoping couldn’t do anything as during the cold war as the US / USSR fleets in the area outclassed anything Ch!na could even dream of having at that time, and J@pan was too important an interest of the US.

            That situation is very much different now.

            Such rhetoric could be used by Jiabao but only if he can find a way of delivering it credibly to his people. That, one suspects, is not possible at present.

            So for now at least, the path to conflict appears to be locked in with no reason to slow down or change course.


        • 201

          That is very clearly put and helps to explain what I had seen as a change in pace in the Chinese approach. I also appreciate you have confined the scope to the issues which instruct likely developments in respect of Senkaku. In the way that the situation plays, I cannot quite see how America would default. I understand the basic situation is built on ever increasing debt which I have always seen as untenable but nonetheless appears to continue and flourish without any visible means of support, a continuous and predictable progression since the abandonment of Bretton Woods (almost a backdrop to my entire working life).

          But having said that, the Americans will just allow the dollar to go where it will and pick up when there is any world crisis which creates a flight to safety. The Chinese will overtake them in earnings soon but it will take much longer to do so in absolute wealth. Possibly longer now with the shale gas halo. So are you talking of a more technical type of default? One by the back door or an Armageddon incident? What timescale range would you predict?

          Now we have to consider India as it is soon to overtake China in population. India also has much greater wealth, albeit poorly distributed, than China. Its development zones SEZ/EPZ were the first in Asia and number some 150 with four times as many more slated. These seem to enjoy a phenomenal growth which makes China appear sluggish even when measured a few years back when everything in the garden was rosy.

          In addition to this there is a long history of tension with China, particularly over the Sino-Indian border, together with China now being on Nepal’s doorstep via Tibet.

          Does not this heighten the pressure upon China to act instead of taking their more traditional long play approach which they used so effectively with ΗΚ*?

          (* Typing these two letters in Latin chars will cause your post to disappear.)


          • NYT Watch says:

            The problems with the $ are firmly baked in. There is nothing that can be done about that.

            The debt issue really is as simple as the old chestnut about owing money to your bank: You owe a little that is your problem, you owe a lot it is the banks problem. With Soveriegn debt, it is the problem of the creditor nation which cannot militarily enforce payment.

            The finance system which appears to be hanging together at present is only doing so through a combination of blind belief and cynical greed. Those who control it are not ready to allow it to collapse just yet. The veto on who makes that decision though is changing.

            US default or otherwise: The debt rating downgrade the other year was one clear signal of how the US values USD. The debt ceiling is a bit of political theater which is meant to instill fear, and then joy once it is passed and all is Ok. The problem is the gambit is not working and everything will not be Ok afterwards, that the US knows.

            So, if they are to start defaulting later this year the only reason for doing so would be if it results in a comparative advantage for their power interests. So, if there is no real benefit in not defaulting, and by defaulting they are able to weaken or destabilize certain foreign competitors, then the case is made for a default. Otherwise it isn’t.

            If the US can become largely energy independent then their key need to engage in international trade is greatly reduced. Note that the largest consumer of Oil is the US Government.

            Many are pulling their gold from the US (and overseas generally) at present: That is highly significant in terms of the above and reflects the poor state of international relations at present.

            Gold being repatriated can only mean one thing, preparation for return to using it for international settlements, which in turn implies $ expected to go, and Euro not to replace.

            Timescale for everything to fall apart: Likely within the next two years, perhaps even as early as the end of this year.

            The German elections will be a big factor, as they will determine the real prospects for the EU. A nearer term factor is how the Bond markets are going to react when the tax revenues are announced shortly after April.

            !ndia / Ch!na : Two axis – Naval and as you point out Himalaya border. Both sides are carving up the seas, but they are cooperating. The Sino/!ndian border is being militarized again, Ch!na has made the first move. Appears ‘peaceful’ at present, give or take some self immolations.

            I am hoping that tension on that border will be relieved by trade. In particular a spur from the TAPI pipeline project, which is beginning to start moving again. Only that kind of trade will prevent a repeat of 1962.

            It is in both countries interests: Oil / Gas for rare earths and bilateral trade in food and perhaps water would be good.

            !ndia is essentially gold backed, Ch!na would prefer to transact in that.

            The Ch!nese / !ndian naval maneuvers are worth following as only together can they deal with the problem of piracy in the !ndian Ocean and waters down to Australia.

            (NB: Ch!na is already doing anti-piracy patrols off the east coast of Africa…)

            Ch!na is at a point where it needs to act in order to demonstrate to its people that their recent efforts have resulted in something tangible. That something is respect of foreigners, mainly J@panese and Westerners.

            The demonstration will not require a massive display, but reunification with Ta!wan to welcome back Kai-Shek’s followers and a little slap to recalcitrant J@pan and staring down the West would likely be enough.

            The window of opportunity is closing as much of this is only possibly whilst the US presence and mood in the region is at it is at present. Not rushing, just a little opportunist.

            Would watch carefully the brewing military coup in Pak!stan as well. My personal view is that Pak!stan will be absorbed into !ndia once the right sort of deal can be cut with the Generals, perhaps within the next 5 years. al Qadri needs to be taken out of the equation permanently.

            Just my take on the situation from my reading of what is going on.

            I agree with you on !ndia in terms of development. The only doubt I have though is that there is a high risk of sectar!an violence becoming a problem, in particular between the far left and right H!ndu / !slamic groups.

            Ch!na is aware of its own population problems and they are making moves right now to discontinue the one child policy.

            Please let me know your take :-)


          • NYT Watch says:

            @SC (and anyone else interested): The following backgrounder from the CFR is quite informative on the larger picture beyond Senkaku:


            + Also fills in some other details I have skipped over above, such as passport designs.


          • NYT Watch says:

            Oh, and by naval cooperation between Ch!na / !ndia, of I was referring to exercises last year, and not the potential flare up over !ndia’s prospecting off the coast of Vietnam.

            It is going to be interesting to see if !ndia does get involved with J@pan over Senkaku. It could be in !ndia’s interest, but it would be better for them if they did not and perhaps discussed further the issue of Vietnam oil with Ch!na and avoid any gun boat diplomacy.


          • @NYT Watch

            The automated symposiarch is currently in possession of my response. :-(


          • Anоthеr еxtrеmеly luсіd еxprеѕѕеd еxpоѕіtіоn. It hаngѕ tоgеthеr wеll but I ѕее ѕеvеrаl pоtеntіаlіtіеѕ fоr tіmіng dіffеrеnсеѕ, whісh I wіll ѕеt оut іn pаrtѕ.

            Fоr my ѕіnѕ (!), I аm а grеаt оnе fоr lооkіng аt pаttеrnѕ whісh оссur оvеr hіѕtоry. Hаvіng bееn аrоund thе blосk mоrе tіmеѕ thаn mоѕt, thіѕ саn gіvе аn аdvаntаgе оvеr pеrѕpесtіvе but саn аlѕо lеаd tо оvеr-rіgіdіty. Unfоrtunаtеly оnе mаy nоt hаvе thіngѕ bоth wаyѕ іn lіfе.

            I wаnt tо drаw yоur аttеntіоn tо thе Dеutѕсhmаrk whеn іt wаѕ іn еxіѕtеnсе. Onе оf thе ѕtrоngеѕt сurrеnсіеѕ wе knеw. Evеn whеn I wаѕ yоung, іt’ѕ prоgrеѕѕ аѕtоundеd my еldеrѕ аnd bеttеrѕ. Of соurѕе, іt dоеѕ hеlp tо wrіtе аll dеbt оff аftеr lоѕіng а wаr. Thаt plаyѕ tо yоur аrgumеnt еxсеpt wе dоn’t hаvе а wаr (аѕ ѕuсh). And thеrе wаѕ thаt lіttlе mаttеr оf thе Mаrѕhаll Plаn. Hоwеvеr wе аrе nоt tаlkіng аbоut thе Thіrd Rеісh but thе Fоurth аnd Fіfth (аѕ ѕоmе wоuld hаvе іt) іn hіѕtоrісаl tеrmѕ.

            Mоrе pаrtісulаrly thе аѕсеndаnсy оf іtѕ сurrеnсy. M@rkеtѕ run оn ѕеntіmеnt аnd nоt fundаmеntаlѕ. Untіl thе еаrthquаkе rеѕtоrеѕ thе fundаmеntаlѕ аnd thе whоlе prосеѕѕ ѕtаrtѕ аgаіn. Thе еаrthquаkе іn thіѕ ѕіtuаtіоn wаѕ rеunіfісаtіоn оf Gеrmаny, оnе fоr оnе Dеutѕсhmаrk/Oѕtmаrk (а ludісrоuѕ mоvе соnѕіdеrеd purеly іn есоnоmіс tеrmѕ), gіgаntіс сіvіl еngіnееrіng wоrkѕ tо іntеgrаtе thе twо ѕіdеѕ whісh, аftеr thіѕ ѕhоtgun mаrrіаgе, dіѕсоvеrеd thеy dіd nоt lіkе еасh оthеr thаt muсh.

            Yеt ѕtіll thе m@rkеt mоrоnѕ (wіth аpоlоgіеѕ аnd а frее pаѕѕ tо оur еѕtееmеd hоѕt :-)) соntіnuеd wіth thеіr by-nоw rеdundаnt аѕѕumptіоnѕ. I wоrkеd іn Gеrmаny fоr а tіmе аnd fоund thеy wеrе nоt thе fіrе еаtеrѕ I hаd bееn lеd tо bеlіеvе. Exасtly thе оppоѕіtе. Thаt thеy wаіtеd fоr pеdеѕtrіаn trаffіс lіghtѕ tо turn grееn bеfоrе сrоѕѕіng аn еmpty rоаd tоld yоu аll yоu nееdеd tо knоw.

            Thіѕ саrrіеd оn rіght up tо thе іntrоduсtіоn оf thе EU whеn pеrvеrѕеly thеrе wаѕ ѕоmе ѕlіppаgе аnd Gеrmаny jоіnеd аt аn unfаvоurаblе rаtе. Thеy hаvе thе hіghеѕt lаbоur rаtе іn thе wоrld аnd thе оutput frоm thеіr prеvіоuѕly ѕuссеѕѕful еxpоrt drіvе nоw gоеѕ tо thе еаѕt.

            But tо thе pоіnt. Thе Dеutѕсhmаrk’ѕ ѕtrеngth соntіnuеd lоng аftеr thе undеrpіnnіng rеаѕоn fоr іt hаd dwіndlеd.

            Nоw lооk аt thе pоund. Exасtly thе ѕаmе thіng hаppеnеd frоm 1992 (іnсrеаѕіng ѕtrеngth) tо 1997 (thе undеrmіnіng bіt) аnd thеn оntо 2007 (whеn thе еаrthquаkе оссurrеd). Rеmеmbеr thе pоund hаd bееn іmprоvіng ѕіnсе Blасk Wеdnеѕdаy.

            Bоth thеѕе hаppеnеd аgаіnѕt а bасkgrоund оf pеасе. Sо аѕ а fіrѕt pоіnt tо yоu, I wоuld ѕuggеѕt thаt іn thе аbѕеnсе оf wаr, yоu саn аdd а tіmеѕсаlе mеаѕurаblе іn dесаdеѕ. Thе ѕhаlе gаѕ ѕіtuаtіоn wоuld ѕubѕtаntіаtе my vіеw.

            In аll hоnеѕty, I dоn’t hаvе а сluе! :-D I wаlkеd аwаy frоm bаnkіng іn 2000 prоmіѕіng аnyоnе whо wоuld lіѕtеn thаt іt wоuld аll gо wrоng аnd I wаntеd nо pаrt іn іt. It соntіnuеd fоr аnоthеr ѕеvеn unеxpесtеd yеаrѕ. Thе truth іѕ thаt іt hаѕ nоt unwоund prоpеrly аѕ wе аll knоw.


  21. 61
    Golly says:

    Looks like the Euro is going to top the bill again .

    Someone has just fingered the Spanish PM .


  22. 65
    Porn Central says:

    Ron Jeremy in heart aneurysm scare. One would think that low BP would be the problem due to frequent displacement at a lower level.


  23. 70
    Diane Fartbott says:

    I’ve just had a massive dump, that’s cleared out some room for a Kentucky bucket



  24. 75
    Evidence that Canadian's are total assholes ? Send Carny back. says:


  25. 78

    Quentin Letts is bang on the nail with his article today.

    What was David Davis playing at?


  26. 83
    Chris Huhne Is Silent Today says:



  27. 87
    Margaret Hodge says:

    Do you like my facelift. I’ve just been on the ONE show. And I am ONE.


    • 129
      Margaret Hodge is a hypocritical socialist moron says:

      It was lifted out of the grave, wasn’t it?

      Clever of you not to mention the shares you own in your family-run tax-dodging company, Hodge. Good of the BBC not to mention it, either.

      Fucking clowns.


  28. 88
    Winnie the Pooh says:

    Labour MP on Defense budget and the “so called black hole”


    • 93
      Lock, stock and two smoking arseholes says:

      The best thing to do with a black hole is fill it.


    • 94
      Winnie the Pooh says:

      Re: MoD £38bn budget black hole



    • 95
      Who'd have thought says:

      Keep forgetting that Liebour were never in charge of the country between 1997 and 2010, and the MOD didn’t spend £3billion on their HQ and spend billions on old Nimrod air-frames and Brown didn’t spend billions on aircraft carriers that we don’t need and couldn’t cancel, the whitewash industry must have done some good business with Liebour, just as they must be doing good business with these clowns and the fuel industry.


      • 242
        Same As It Ever Was says:

        In case you have not noticed, the Con-Dems are STILL spending billions on aircraft carriers – that don’t have any aircraft. The are still spending billions NATO bombing third-world countries. NuLabour/Tories – two cheeks of the same backside.


    • 99

      ” black hole”Err Leave Diane Flabbot out of this while i’m eating !

      Not a pretty thought


    • 140
      Margaret Hodge is a hypocritical socialist moron says:

      Kevin Jones is a semi-literate socialist sub-human.

      “tell us how’s he balanced”

      “does not mean its true”

      Fucking. Thick. Socialist. Scum.


  29. 96
  30. 102
    UKIP Watch says:

    Can UKIP be considered an analog of the tea party movement for the UK ?


    • 125
      stun says:

      I suppose so. The rabid left seem to equate the ‘tea’ bit with the Boston party of the same name. Of course, all it means is ‘Taxed Enough Already’.

      Rising popularity for the viewpoint, largely ignored by the party which should naturally have the same views. Hmm. Regrettably, both the tea party and UKIP have managed to attract some weirdos who are outed at any opportunity. Not that weirdos aren’t distributed elsewhere. Look at the LibDems. On the other hand, don’t. You’ll just encourage them.


  31. 105

    Breaking news
    reports coming into sky about yet another school shooting in the u s of a


    • 110
      US Watch says:

      School shooting ? See Office shooting in Phoenix, no schools.


      • 112
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD and COD FATHER of SOLE says:

        You need to watch a bit harder The office shooting was Soooo yesterday !
        I’m talking of Now Just breaking
        PS and not the shooting of the school bus driver which was also yesterday !


      • 115
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD and COD FATHER of SOLE says:

        See School shooting TODAY , not Office Yesterday


        • 119
          US Watch says:

          Ok, two injured. So what ?

          If less time was spent screwing around the second amendment and encouraging people to go out and buy AR’s, and instead spent on looking at mechanisms for securing schools without ramping gun violence across the MSM then this may not have happened.

          About time UK got it’s guns back, unless you guys have totally given up on freedom and just want to be bum boys for the EU.


          • Mrs Edith Chislethwaite, aged 97. says:

            I’ve actually just bought a machete. This is quite clever, because when society collapses (as it will, when Labour win in 2015), it will simply be a case of using my machete to get someone else’s sword. And I can use the sword to get someone else’s shotgun. And I can use the shotgun to get some chav’s semi-auto.

            I learned all this from the film Falling Down.. start with small weapons and work your way up.


          • Engineer says:

            I’ve only got a penknife, so I’ll have to work through a few more stages.


          • I’ve got constipation so I’ll have to work it out with a pencil.


  32. 108
    genghiz the kahn says:

    The Guardian is finally sinking, what a shame.



  33. 109
    Casual Observer says:

    Just been watching TV showing that cnut Dave Camoron posing in Algeria.

    Why doesn’t the fucker get back here to lobby support for the important gay marriage vote on next Tuesday.


    • 120
      Camoron: like Brown, but worse. says:

      “Cameron promises closer ties with Líbya” – The Independent

      I suppose that’s a euphemism for “The tit’s going to give them lots of our money and then let them come and live here.”


      • 124
        Common Purpose Parasite says:

        The UK government did recommend foreigners to get out of Benghazi the other day.

        This is Cameron’s interest:



        • 138
          Margaret Hodge is a hypocritical socialist moron says:

          Dear fucking God. Did you count the buzzwords?

          “workshops”, “leadership capacities”, “leaders in their communities”, “engaged with the elections”, “youth engagement”, “Women Leaders’ course”, “peer-networking”, “move these forward”, “peer support group”

          Let’s hope al qáeda regroup and slaughter these Common Purpose sub-humans before CP wreck Libya like they’ve wrecked Britain.


          • Common Purpose Parasite says:

            Oh: That was nothing.

            Check this:


            You can guess what the common purpose parasite considers the ‘wild flowers’ to be in Benghazi. This is serious, and the worrying thing is training and not psychotropic drugs created that world view.

            That would be the diverse locals who are running around with AK-47s and other fully automatic weapons who wish to exterminate anyone who has the temerity to describe them as flowers, or doesn’t like the idea of Sharia.

            Funnily enough, I can very much empathize with the locals in Benghazi and one hopes that when the botanists return, the locals treat them similarly.

            Perhaps we should petition local authorities to do some town twinning, and invite them over to finish the job that Foreign Office evacuations will be denying them from completing.


    • 133
      Dave's Foreign Policy Trojan Horse says:

      Interesting different approach to getting troops into a country:


      Hopefully the Algerian’s are not going to be dumb enough to say: Yes.

      Vote UKIP.


  34. 111
    A polite question for Schrodinger's Cat says:

    We all love your mordant wit, and ‘frequent’ (shall we say) posts, but…
    We’ve heard that you reside in or near Trieste… Friuli is a delightful region – is it really so dull there that you have to spend 24 hours a day persecuting this site?


    • 117
      some of my best friends are Triesterians says:

      I think you can take that as a yes. BTW, you mean mordant as in non existent?


    • 136

      Have you picked your words with so much care that you have deliberately chosen a component sometimes used in dye? As a pun?

      To answer your question, I am not a million miles away from there and frequently pass through. At such times I am not posting.

      Tell me who is holding a gun to your head to read my posts and I will compose a letter to my local MP demanding immediate action that a new law be created to prevent this. In the alternative, a full refund awaits you.


      • 150
        TIME'S MESSENGER says:

        In other words, FUCK OFF!!


        • 151

          I do try to avoid resorting to ad hominem but sometimes, when one is getting nowhere, it does succeed in getting a certain point across and I am certainly no saint.

          If that is what you prefer to hear, I will not argue.


          • TIME'S MESSENGER says:

            FUCK OFF!!


          • Owen Jones' Mother says:

            OWEN !

            Come here at once !

            How many times have I told you young man not to post on the internet under a false name, and… Look at that language !

            ** Taking a crying Owen by the ear **

            Right young man, I warned you before, this time I am going to wash your mouth out with soap.

            ** Leads Owen by ear to the bathroom **



  35. 116
    Tinkle says:

    Receiving a “Guidogram” is like having the Avon Lady banging on the door-bell.

    At least we can delete the former. *hides under bed and pretends to be out*


    • 127
      DING DONG! says:

      In our area the Avon representative is a man, and he likes banging on my back door.


    • 220
      adolf mandelson says:

      you can also delete the latter. just get the electrician from your local friendly vietnamese cannabis growing cooperative to wire your door-bell to the mains supply.

      the word bed looks like a bed.


  36. 141
    Loopy Lou says:

    Why do we need two new non nuclear aircraft carriers?

    Are we going to conquer the world with them or what?


    • 145
      Engineer says:

      To keep the voters of a certain politician’s constituency in jobs, and thus the said politician in votes. The defence of the realm was not really a top priority.

      Do keep up.


      • 152

        Good to see you about, Engineer.

        Bang on the nail, as usual.


        • 156
          Engineer says:

          Hi Cat! Hope life is treating you kindly. If you ignore politics and winter, life in old blighty is plodding along happily. Soon be spring!

          Mind you, if you don’t ignore politics, it’s not so fine. Oh for a sensible government….


          • My language skills are not sufficiently good enough to know what is going on here politically. I just know it is likely to be just as bad but I don’t get involved in it! I am happier for that.

            People will actually be swimming here in 8 weeks time! Hard to believe but it always turns out that way.


  37. 142
    Vote UKIP says:

    As Ken Clarke is flogging a dead horse again shouldn’t he be working for Tesco?


  38. 143
    Fog says:

    In Italy they’re checking possessions including pets, to catch tax apparent tax evaders.



  39. 148
    Saffron says:

    Not much on this site today.
    Hoony nothing to report.
    BBC lefties and their crap biased reporting,nothing new here.
    Levenson and the media,what a surprise not.
    Cammoribund in algie soothing things,not a surprise.
    Lost vote on boundaries,again given what libdumps/liebour are all about,not unexpected.
    Loss of housing benefit as reported by the biased broadcasting corporation running true to form.
    Ed Millicrap and his blank piece of paper supported by his union backers still of no importance.
    Pickles however in his attack on the liebour biased BBC hit the nail on the head.
    Cleggover is a traitor to this country,however considering he is a europhile brought by that crowd and is half dutch,no surprises there.
    Scottish independence wording,who the hell cares as long as we rid ourselves of these leeches,pray to god that they feck off out of our lives for good.
    Seek your fortunes somewere else,we english have had enough of you in our lifetime.
    Finally,loved to see the B an Pee asking their members to sell scrap metal and items on E bay,bye bye B an Pee and your fraudster leader and good riddance.


  40. 161

    Just in case anyone has missed this gem:

    Just made the mistake of reading the comments on Guido's thread about me. Total nutjob arsewipes. I won't be doing it again.— Iain Dale (@IainDale) January 29, 2013


  41. 162
    P l e b says:

    Just been watching An Idiot Abroad – the edition where they’re in Macedonia, and it occurred to me, when the Bulgarians and Romanians come here, will they be able to bring their goats?


  42. 163
    WTF?? says:

    what the fuck IS a Guidogram, anyway?


    • 164
      garden shed dealer says:

      Approximately one fortieth of an ounce.


      • 171
        rebekah aka nellnewman says:

        one fortieth of an ounce ? OMG! that’s more gold than we’ve got left since gordon and bullyballs sold it all at brown bottom!


    • 166
      Fuck Nose says:

      Mainly brick dust and baking soda cut with a little coke.


      • 173
        rebekah aka nellnewman says:

        brick dust – that reminds me of when I was a kid (long time ago) . Men in our village who used to work as burners and stokers in the brickyards developed emphysema from the coal dust they used to fire the bricks.

        At forty years old they’d be old and struggling to walk. At fifty they were gone.

        And as far as I know they never sought nor got any compensation. They should have done.


  43. 167
    albacore says:

    Dave’s got this compulsion to give our money away
    (Well, not ours – borrowed money, with interest to pay)
    The poor guy must really be seriously worried
    The slackers doling out the cash just won’t be hurried



  44. 170
    rebekah aka nellnewman says:

    leftwing politics is a strange business!

    diane abb ott charging £300 to talk to the nhs about obesity!!

    labour refusing the electorate a vote on the eu and then voting against equal constituencies – don’t get any more undemocratic than that! I wonder what labour’s founding fathers think to that? I doubt they’re likely to be very proud of the present bunch!!

    huhne shutting down the press over his court case – what had he got to hide? and hardly ‘justice being seen to be done’! Looking forward to Monday!

    And now police being arrested over the andrew mit chell plebgate because presumably they lied. I hope they’re not allied to the labour party but suspect they are!


    • 175
      Fucking boring cow. This is QI says:


      • 180
        David Hance, N.I. says:

        Not long now until the biased BBC’s QT.
        Tune into my blog for a, totally, unbiased version of the truth that the panel are perverting.


        • 182
          Give The Irish back to The Oirish says:

          Piss off, you cünt.


        • 195
          Georges "Le Spankeur" d'Osborne says:

          Great film. Saved it to HD last Friday.


        • 206
          Peter "Puffy" Lefeuvre says:

          When Marks, finally, went down, so did the quality of hash in this country.

          I struggled on for a few more years, ingesting various carcinogens and assorted plastics.

          Through sheer desperation, I planted some budgie seed and nurtured it under my table lamp.

          The resultant, rather limp, two-leaved, clover-like weed, having been rolled and smoked, left me cursing the injustices of modern life.

          That was the moment I made the BIG DECISION.

          For me, from now on, it was going to be Sainsbury’s Basic Cider all the way.

          It was £1.10 then and now it’s £1.99. Progress?

          In a way, I’m glad Howard stopped importing: His dope was far too good and was wasted on Middle England.

          Red Leb; Black Bombers; White Kif; Neuro-Sticks; etc. were pure exotica, like vindaloos: Not quite acclimatised to our washy-wishy palettes.

          Still, I’m glad I was there to dip into the strangeitude.

          Puffy ; )


        • 207
          Mr. Dried Banana Peel says:

          I know where you’re coming from, “Puffy”. Tell me, experimentally-wise, does this sound freaky/normal after two gallons of Tesco’s shite? Maybe with a chaser?


        • 208
          Peter "Puffy" Lefeuvre says:

          Is that your, for real, name, Mr. Peel?


        • 209
          Mr. Dried Banana Peel says:

          Yep. It’s just a blog, Puffy. You’ll get used to all the amazing “real” names on here.


  45. 187
    Liz Featherbed MP says:

    I am not very happy to learn that a vote in the Hebrides is worth five times a vote in London. I think the only way to dolve this is to send all London’s homeless people to the Hebrides to repopulate the place.


  46. 190
    Question Time is fairly dull tonight even by its own standards says:

    Zoe Williams deserves an award for having the ability to talk at length without ever actually answering a question or stating a clear position. She’s mastered the art of arguing for and against both sides of an argument and making it look like she’s clever. Hilarious.


  47. 194
    Question Time is fairly dull tonight even by its own standards says:

    Doesn’t seem a typical Question Time audience. Delingpole just mocked Labour hypocrisy on private schools and was applauded.


  48. 196
    anon says:

    Is James d’Pole gay or just slightly “challenged”?


  49. 198
    Question Time is fairly dull tonight even by its own standards says:

    Ugh. A fucking english headscarf in the QT audience. Few things more repugnant that english converts to islam. Traitors. She’ll be the type who spouts bollocks about how being muslim has “liberated” her as a woman. Yes, very liberated. Apart from when her 60 year old bearded arab husband beats her half to death for letting one strand of hair slip out from her headscarf.


  50. 199
    Border control is done for a reason says:


  51. 200
    Fishy says:

    Who’s this smug, pretentious Hassan bloke on the Sky paper review?

    What should we cut, he’s asked. ‘Nothing at all…triple dip on the way…spend…it’s basic macro economics’, he says

    What are his qualifications for speaking such a load of sh1t?


    • 205
      Mong Watch says:

      Is it Medhi Hassan ?

      Medhi Hassan is a mong.

      He was fired from New Statesman and generally makes a moron of himself over at Huff’n’Puff UK.

      His knowledge of economics is demonstrated by his ability to reduce readerships. His understanding of politics is not much better.

      Do your research to confirm, and if this is the right Hassan do not confuse with the rather awesome singer who regrettably died last year shortly before the New Statesman’s Medhi Hassan’s real career did. There is not connection between those events.


  52. 211
    last whitey in londonistan says:

    Fuck you


  53. 214
    not a machine says:

    Qt was lively enough to give a light rehash on this weeks politics , fascinated by zoeys answer on nuclear waste , oh well at least some of the cost myths have been debunked . Disagree as I think there are better ways of organising energy , as for fracking if they could do it with just say high pressure steam , I would be as happy as larry
    Mali stay out , seems good advice .

    HS2 cant believe Choo choo lab and lib yes answer to it , its far more complex than uh we havent had new railway since HS1 and before that 1904 (HS 1 lost somthing like £1.6bn ) . To ask minister for railways then , if costs go beyond £33bn what will the resultant ticket price be from manc to london ?? Fete de accomplie to rob tax payer off into the future . I mean shouldnt you be thinking of how the railway will create wealth and not debt in its function ???

    And to top it all conservative MP who is a christian backs gay marriage , and not the more decent thing of putting it in a manfesto for voters to choose beforehand …..

    Thats me with the tin foil hat and the cold shower then :)

    Whole system becomming one of effiminet answers and twitter euphoria set pieces .I am sure we never used to have government running like this , sure we have had some bad polices in decades gone by , but never a complete rolling annoucement of them . I shall have move residence to Tunbridge wells so as to ensure my disgust still has some meaning :)

    Oh wait , we have EU joy yet to come ……. let me guess , Dave puts on his fedora and sequend hand glove and does a fine performance of michael jacksons “the way you make me feel ” gets a round of applause and tells us all a less than 5% increase we should pop the champagne cork .

    would round off my dismal week nicely .

    House notice : due to a change in circumstances (having little or no confidence in our political process ) am having a change of vocation for while , in part because want to re friend a couple of important eco topics I have left gathering dust and to mull over one troubling christian topic a little more see you all in about 18 months , I have no regrets ,and some things needed sorting , didnt they ? I mean it had gone very corrupt in a number of areas , time will tell if I was right that too much has been buggerd this time round , to fool and rob people again .


    • 216
      Tachybaptus says:

      Have a good mull, then, and expect to hear from you when you have mulled. I have always tried to read and understand your comments, though occasionally resolution fails before I get to the end.

      Hope your Christian topic is not the Augustinian theodicy, definitely the dirty underclothes of this religion. Too much mulling on it can lead to miserable confusion.


  54. 221
    Noose Watch says:

    Seeing as we have the infrastructure, Tower of London: Why not use it ?


    • 223
      albacore says:

      If the folks wake up before they’re a minority
      The LibLabCons won’t get another majority
      Except as spooky carcases, dancing in the breeze
      In full, final settlement of treachery and sleaze


  55. 222
    EU Watch says:

    Interesting article from 2005:


    According to CIA:

    EU to collapse within 15 years (by 2020)

    ‘The current EU welfare state is unsustainable and the lack of any economic revitalisation could lead to the splintering or, at worst, disintegration of the EU, undermining its ambitions to play a heavyweight international role.’

    They got some things right…


    • 232
      SP4BS says:

      Odd sort of thing to say. you could say the same thing about a pound in the most expensive place in london, and somewhere in hull.

      Or indeed the same thing about 1/1600 of an ounce of gold.


  56. 224
    Chris Huhne Is Silent Today says:



  57. 225
    Chris Huhne,Guest Moderator says:

    Error occurred, please contact customer support!


  58. 230
    Dave the Gays Luvver says:

    4 days until marriage buggeration


  59. 243
    Same As It Ever Was says:

    What if 90% of the funny/’joke’ names here were from the same ‘upper’ class right-wing nutter? And what if that nutter was too clever by half – or was under that impression?


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,645 other followers