January 28th, 2013

Train Travel Takes Toll on Sleepy Simon

It seems all those early starts are taking their toll on Simon Burns. Since he’s been forced to get the train instead of his taxpayer funded chauffeur, the Transport Minister has been looking rather sleepy. Zzzzz…


81 Comments

  1. 1
    I wanna know says:

    Where’s Dave Dee, Beaky, Mitch, and Titch?

    • 5
      • 19
        █████ Watch says:

        Where is █████ ?

        He’s in town and has no reason not to drop in and savour freedom / represent his constituents in parliament.

    • 23
      GreaterAnglia says:

      He needs to sit down poor chap. There are never any seats on the 6.45 from Chelmsford.

      Back to the chauffeur methinks…..

      • 50
        Lazy Fat Blob says:

        The fat blob should try exercise, if you are not fit enough to do a full days work, you have no business in government.

        • 67
          Lard John Prescott. says:

          I cannot understand why MP’s and those in the Lords cannot stay awake when listening to invigorating worldshaking speeches such as mine.

          • Lazy Fat Blob says:

            Can’t say I remember one John.

            They all seem to start with waffle, move into confusion and end in gibberish. A bit like everything else, you ever did.

    • 73
      T'old Fella says:

      Well at least Simon Burns is travelling 2nd class, I have notice where I live they never seem to put sufficient carriages where I live, so I suppose it is the same in the Big Smoke at busy times surely it makes sense to add carriages when busy and reduce them when less busy, the powers that be know exactly how many folks are likely to be travelling at any time of day.

      • 78
        Catty Comment (Ms) says:

        Will you kindly stop talking sense young man. You may be asked to seek your refund as you exit if you are not careful!

  2. 2
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    Lunch with Guido has that effect.

  3. 3
    rebekah aka nellnewman says:

    Afternoon snooze in a warm quiet place (HoC where nothing much is happening) after a taxpayer subsidised lunch and bottle of taxpayer subsidised fine wine.

    This then is what we pay them for.

  4. 4
    Brown out and pay me damages says:

    Oh dear!

  5. 6
    Tosspot says:

    Yep, he is running the Country and giving everything to his Job….

  6. 7
    Public Sector Shirker says:

    Why can’t Ed Miliband make love to his wife for the next two years?

    Because he refuses to adopt any position until 2015.

    • 31
      The Great Book of 1001 Sex Positions For Clueless MPs says:

      If she adopts any position, I would put money on reverse cow girl so she does not have to look at that creepy face!

  7. 10
    Anonymous says:

    Is this what you have sunk too now farage and ukip are a busted flush.

    You used to be somebody :(

    • 28
      Con Artists. says:

      Listen my little fellow EU loving Marxist trougher.. I fear we have a lot more to fear from UKIP.

      The problem is everything in their manifesto chimes pretty loudly with conservative voters and increasingly labour voters as well, especially HS2 rail which is a gift to ukip.

      That and the fact cast iron dave is a liar and can’t be trusted.

      So yes, apart from those things, I’m sure ukip are terrified….

      • 39
        Gooey Blob says:

        You may as well give up Ed, you’re not doing any good trolling on here. Farage will finish nowhere in 2015, and Labour will fare little better.

        • 46
          Con Artists. says:

          The good news is Labour will fare just that little bit better than the conservatives in 2015, as we all know.

          And that is due to ukip.

          And that is what terrifies ‘conservatives’.

          Best get yourself some decent policies which encourage grass roots support, and a new leader otherwise the cons will be unelectable for decades, again.

      • 40
        UKID says:

        What’s their policy on necrophilia ?

  8. 11
    Night Nurse says:

    May cause drowsiness. Do not operate heavy machinations

  9. 12

    Pinko FT headline: Date set for Huhne speeding points trial

    Er no! Perversion trial.

  10. 16
    Spetmologer says:

    He should stop smoking & get a PROPER JOB !

  11. 17
    Gordon Brown says:

    Lazy Bastard

  12. 18
    VERITAS says:

    It looks to me that Sleepy Simon has been meeting too many pie men.

  13. 21
    A Voter says:

    Can you imagine, if he had a real job!

  14. 22
    YorkshireLad says:

    I thought images of Members in the Chamber who weren’t speaking shouldn’t be pictured/photographed…but who cares? When was the last time an MP abided by anything resembling rules?

  15. 24
    old SHEP says:

    People used to get court-marshalled and shot for behaving like that on duty.

  16. 25
    A Voter says:

    With a porky face that size, he should be walking to his leisure activity of MP.

  17. 27
    Yvonne from The Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    I once worked with a bloke who fell asleep on a night shift .

    He got the sack for gross misconduct .

  18. 29
    Anonymous says:

    Just one more dozy bastard in a House full of ‘em….

  19. 30
    A Voter says:

    He puts the fat into cat! Looks like Marlon in Godfather 1, not cotton wool stuffed in his mouth though but £50 notes no doubt.

  20. 32
    Warning from history... says:

  21. 33
    I want an apology from that stinking University of Edinburgh says:

    What is wrong with the train?

  22. 34
    Owen Jones says:

    My boyfriend dreams of being an internet sensation, but he’s so useless he couldn’t even make AIDS go viral.

  23. 35
    That's just cruel says:

    So he is actually taking the train ? Fool. Ha ha ha ha ha…. Ha ha ha ha ha….

  24. 36
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    Porcine Narcolepsy? There is a tried and trusted lead & antimone therapy for this. Implant just behind the left ear. Hand me my bag would you?

  25. 41
    Porkfitch says:

    Asleep on the job? Most working people would be disciplined for this.

    Dock him a day’s pay, the lazy slob.

    • 53
      rebekah aka nellnewman says:

      MP’s are NOT most people – they know it and take maximum advantage of it11

  26. 45
    Quantitative Sleazing says:

    U Kip if you want to.

  27. 51

    Its not easy being an MP you know.

    The pressure of the subsidised bar and the lavish luncheon cause many of us to become drowsy in the afternoon. But I assure you taht we are wide awake for any vote past 9pm.

    Wide awake but as pissed as a Glaswegian in a shopping precinct.

  28. 52
    Mark Wouters says:

    Hello,
    The B.B.C. are hacking into my Email and ebay acounts.

    • 57

      I’ve just found out something about the BBC. Before it was in being the government used to hand out its info to the people by newspapers. But the government actually owned some newspapers. So during the general strike the newspaper, edited by cabinet member Winston Churchill, printed the most outrageous claims and lies.

      So the BBC really was a force for good.It checked facts and refused to adopt the government line, just because it was told to. Ministers were very annoyed.

      So, BBC. What went wrong?

  29. 56
    rebekah aka nellnewman says:

    Mrs T was famous for sleeping only 4 hours a day and being a workaholic – this lot in the HoC today are not a patch are they?!!

  30. 64
    Anonymous says:

    Fat people nod off like that. He should jog to the station.

  31. 71
    Kernow bys Vyken says:

    That’s because the rail service from Chelmsford is utter shite. He could sort this monopoly crap out first but that would be asking too much.

  32. 72
    Muuurty's Ghuuuurst says:

    Maybe he’s having to listen to Drippy Dave and his ‘The weather will scare them off initiative’ Enough to comatose anyone.

    • 74
      rebekah aka nellnewman says:

      Well it might have been bullyballs and his gurning and strange hand movements – very hypnotic!

  33. 75
    Little Johnny says:

    Now a judge is saying that if we want all our money back from Iceland we can whistle .

    The reasoning is that Iceland only ever guaranteed a small portion of the total deposits . In Autumn 2008 Brown said that was not enough and guaranteed every depositor 100 % payment with our money !

    Just how much is lost I do not know because this is where it all goes very quiet .

    I believe we have a right to know :

    1. How much of our money has been given away and lost forever .

    2. The names of all local government officers and civil servants involved in placing taxpayer money in these accounts in the first place together with confirmation they have all been sacked and banned from holding public office in the future .

    3. That bankruptcy proceedings will be issued against all people so named .

  34. 76
    Damned Impertinent Questions says:

    I blame climate change for the lack of seats on the train. Research by the University of East Anglia has proved this.

  35. 81
    Moby Dick says:

    HS2 year 2040

    Andrew Cotter ‏@MrAndrewCotter

    Who would have thought when man landed on the moon, that just 70 years later we could take an hour off London to Manchester. Wondrous times.


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A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”



Nick Clegg says:

Do you want lies with that?


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