January 28th, 2013

Sadiq’s Dodgy Donor Kebab and the Curse Of David Morris
Guido’s Sunday Column is Now Online

Quite a mix in Guido’s column yesterday; from Stringfellow and Clegg, Balls throwing his weight around and even Bryan Ferry pops up. Guido’s favourites included the curse of David Morris and Sadiq dodgy donor kebab:

TALKING of 80s chart-toppers, if you see Rick Astley’s former keyboardist-turned-Tory MP David Morris travelling anywhere, run away – the man seems to be cursed. Not only was the MP for Morecambe an extremely close witness to the recent London helicopter crash on the way into work, he spent Friday night building snowmen on the M6, stranded in his car by the weather. In both cases he took to Sky News to discuss his plight. It seems the profile-conscious MP is never going to give you up when it comes to free publicity.

SOME were surprised to see the over-abundant Shadow Public Health Minister Diane Abbott declare war on fried chicken shops and takeaways recently, especially in the same week that her Labour colleague the Shadow Minister for London, Sadiq Khan, promoted the Best British Kebab Awards in Parliament. Khan said: “It is important that we take the time to celebrate the fantastic establishments.” And why do you think Khan is such a fan of the industry? Nothing to do with the £5,000 donated to his 2010 re-election campaign by the Tayyab Kebab House in his constituency…

You can read the whole of Guido’s Daily Star Sunday column online here.


79 Comments

  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    Why is Kebab trending *Vinegar Stroke Face*?

  2. 2
    Compo says:

    He’s at the Kebab awards, silly

  3. 3
    Ha ha ha ha ha says:

    “Ministers consider campaign in Bulgaria and Romania to persuade potential immigrants to stay away from UK”

    How would that work then?

  4. 4
    Martin Sorrell says:

    It works by my company being paid a lot of money to make Bulgarians and Romanians more aware of the UK

  5. 5

    Dearly Beloved,

    The Almighty has had enough! He is considering another flood and is conducting trials in Wales, Herefordshire and Worcestershire where plenty of sinners abound. This can then be effectively directed at other Trials not far from London Bridge Station. We pray to God that these foolish people accept His Comfort and His Strength to accept their Fate, without farting about any more, and that they be Withdraw from this unremitting Public Spotlight into a Remote and Inaccessible place, not to be seen or heard for a truly Appropriate and Lasting Time if Ever Again. We pray also for the Exhausted Judge and his Pooped Assistants.

    In the name of The Father, and of The Son, and of The Holy Spirit.

    Amen.

    The Reverend Clink will now erect a scaffold.

  6. 6
  7. 7
  8. 8
    David Icke says:

    The defendants skin was slipping

  9. 9
    Barry O'Bummer President USA says:

    With the polls showing that call me dave has gone up by 5 points after the EU Ref “promise” hahahahahahaha. All our Nigel has do to is to start campaining about, overcrowded schools,health service and gp’s overburdened,lack of housing and the cost of the massive benefit budget. Then suggest that half a million new immigrants would be a good thing.

  10. 10
    O/T !ran Watch says:

    So as England haggles over gay marriage and singularly fails to get itself out of recession, those who have a better take on life hone their ballistic missile technology:

    One of the aims apparently is to get the monkey back without it turning into kebab meat. If the test fails, perhaps they could ship the remains to Sadiq / Fatbot for essential analysis ?

  11. 11
    Owen Jones says:

    I said to my doctor, “I was told that tomato sauce can reduce the risk of prostate cancer by up to a third.”

    “You’re either very stupid, or shit at excuses,” he replied, pulling on a pair of gloves.

    “Now bend over and I’ll extract that bottle of ketchup from your rectum.”

  12. 12
    Casual Observer says:

    Ok: Interest in the case is not being diminished, but why are they going to try again tomorrow ?

    Is there some sort of statute of limitation time limit approaching ?

  13. 13
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    Very simple. Tv advert showing Michael Howard with the strap line ‘Britain – home of the living dead’.

  14. 14
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    A remote and inaccessible place? Does the buffet at an event attended by Uncle Eric qualify?

  15. 15
    Barry O'Bummer President USA says:

    Then the Dr says “its not a bottle of ketchup its a bunch of flowers” Owen then says “read the card, read the card”

  16. 16
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    Is Philip David Claremont Morris yet another attempt to attract attention by the serial promoter – and what is he charged with? Obviously a trial would be unnecessary if he was just accused of being an odious little turd.

  17. 17
    rumpleforeskin says:

    what an excellent suggestion. We could start a rumor that Britain was in the grip of Bubonic plague, if we got some people to fall about in the streets with puss oozing from open sores then those already here might leave.

  18. 18
    Centre Parting says:

    BBC Radio 2 news reporting H….e – why not you Guido?

  19. 19
    Plato says:

    It’s ok – they’re back in.

  20. 20
    Hugh Janus says:

    Because Guido obviously reads Private Eye.

  21. 21
    █████ Watch says:

    Comments off on the █████ ██████ post. Silence can be deafening :-)

  22. 22
    Honest Man says:

    Because the BBC is a heavily censored left wing state medium, and Guido’s site is relatively free from control so might invite comments which would prejudice the trial.

  23. 23
    Casual Observer says:

    Gotcha. Guess the clerk was late with the McMuffin’s this morning…

  24. 24

    War and Piss more like! On that subject:

    http://bit.ly/114mm5O

    …and ibid 7:15pm, 7:56 pm, 9:18 pm and finally 9:44 pm.

  25. 25
    Silent Bob says:

     

  26. 26
    Plato says:

    Either that or the lying, slippery c’unt is trying every trick to get out of facing justice.

  27. 27

    Well it certainly doesn’t appear to be a Grilled Onion Burger so far…

  28. 28
    Noisy Bob says:

    PHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

  29. 29
    Point of information says:

    You say, reporting ?

  30. 30
    Flippant Remark says:

    And yeah, the Judge may be a reader of this blog. Just sayin’

  31. 31
    Chris ████ says:

    Why don’t ███all take █flying ███? You’re a ████ of ████, all of ███ !

  32. 32
    █████ Watch says:

    Mention:

    Cases listed for mention in court are usually to fix a date for trial or agree outstanding issues.

    They can sometimes lead to a change of plea.

  33. 33

    When it’s the first British Cabinet minister in history to be f████d from o████e by a c██████l p█████████n then all things are apparently possible.

  34. 34
    T20127076. Mark of the Beast says:

    Court 3
    T20127076 CHRISTOPHER HUHNE
    VASILIKI PRYCE
    For Mention – Resume – 11:15

    http://xhibit.justice.gov.uk/xhibit/southwark.htm

  35. 35
    rebekah aka nellnewman says:

    It has resumed .

    How much is this case costing us the taxpaxer?

  36. 36
    Salacious Detail says:

    No need to be so maudlin.

  37. 37
    █████ Watch says:

    So this is like quantum justice ?

    Perhaps being derived from ███████████’s statutes ? :-)

  38. 38
    Old lady ready to start knitting says:

    Is that the closet court to the gallows?

  39. 39
    Carina Spinagain says:

    Infamy !! I’ve got it infamy !!

  40. 40

    Takes Verschränkung to a whole new level.

  41. 41
    Chris Huhne says:

    I couldn’t believe it when Vicky came home and said she’d crashed the car.

    I said to her, “What the fuck have you done now? You really are useless.”

    “It wasn’t my fault.” Vicky cried, ” I swerved to avoid a dog.”

    “Yeah I know.” I said, “But that’s after you smashed through someone’s back garden and demolished his kennel.”

  42. 42
    My initials are CH says:

    I have never been involved in an accident. But I have seen hundreds in my rear view mirror.

  43. 43
    ████████ ███ ███████████ says:

    ███ ████ █ ███ ███ ███ ██████ █████ ██ █████ █ █ ███ █████ ██ █████ █ ██ █ ██████ ██ ███ ███ ██ █ █████ ███████ ██ ██ █████ █ ███ ███ ███ ██████ █████ ██ ███ ██ █ ████ █████ ██ █████ ███ █ ██████ ██ ███ █████ █ ██████ ███ █████ ███ █ ██████ ██ ███ █████ █ ███ ███ ███ ██████ █████ █ ███ ███ ███████ █████ ██ ███ █ ████ ████ ███ ███ █ ███ █ ████ ██ ███ █████ █ ████ ███ ███ █████ █ ███ ███ ███ ██████ █████ ██ █████ █ ████ █████ ██ █████ █ ██ █ ██████ ██ ███ █████ █ █████ ██ ███ ██████ █████ █ ███ ███ ███ ██████ █████ ██ █████ █ ██ ███████ █████ ███ █ ██████ ██ ███ █████ █ ███ ████

  44. 44
    Silent Bob says:

     

  45. 45
    Mornington Crescent says:

    A rumour?

    In London, cases of TB and Whooping Cough – illnesses we’d almost eradicated – have rocketed; take a look at the worldwide infection maps on Wiki and you’ll see why.

  46. 46
    Chris ████ says:

  47. 47
    Silvio Berlusconi says:

    What is all the fuss about?

  48. 48
    Another brick in the wall says:

    ██████

  49. 49
    Casual Observer says:

    @Plato: Suicide is quite effective for that, die with honor / dignity and all that. I vote with McMuffins : They were probably lucky, they stop serving them about 11 ish.

  50. 50
    Chris ████ says:

    Gordon Hewart, in Rex v. Sussex Justices ex parte McCarthy (1924), who literally said “Not only must Justice be done; it must also be seen to be done.”

  51. 51
    CiF says:

    No Comments allowed on the ‘Huhne in Court – Trial Will Go Ahead’ post I guess.

  52. 52

    Don’t you youngsters ever use punctuation?

    I can’t read a word of that without it.

  53. 53
    Anonymous says:

    Or U-Turns on a motorway into oncoming traffic, done by close associates of the Government. I wonder what the Police and CPS did?

  54. 54
    Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

    What’s the matter these days with our Nige? I watched him on QT a couple of weeks ago and for most of the time he sat there looking as gormless as Stan Laurel.

  55. 55
    Joe says:

    Looks like the Guardian comment section on here.

  56. 56
    Carina Spinagain says:

  57. 57
    Has the f'ucker got away??? says:

    T20127076
    CHRISTOPHER HUHNE
    VASILIKI PRYCE

    For Mention – Hearing finished for CHRISTOPHER HUHNE – 11:54

  58. 58
    Oops says:

    Guido deleting tweets about V███ also pleading N███ G███y !!!

  59. 59
    Hang The B@stards says:

    Can we start a lying Bastard Speed Points Cheater thread here ?

  60. 60
    rebekah aka nellnewman says:

    http://news.sky.com/story/1043904/chris-huhnes-trial-to-start-next-week

    Sky reporting trial on Monday -does that now mean the news embargo is lifted?

  61. 61
    █████ Watch says:

    Was thinking more of tunneling out of a very deep well.

    Perhaps a tungsten carbide spoon would be appropriate if more traditional tunneling required in the future.

  62. 62
    █████ Watch says:

    ██.

  63. 63
    Duty Sky News Pedant says:

    The Editor’s an idiot – Chris Huhne’s Trial To Start Next Week

  64. 64
  65. 65
    Owen Jones says:

    I was in my local night club at the weekend.Bloody Dj refused to play Firework by Katy Perry,miserable get.

  66. 66
    CarryHole is a stupendous Hunt says:

    Nice to see the crosshairs in the latest post.

  67. 67
    CarryHole is a stupendous Hunt says:

    Wonders of multi-cultural diversity!

  68. 68
    the general public says:

    “English local authorities are “cheating” taxpayers by refusing to hold council tax rise referendums, says Communities Secretary Eric Pickles”.

    Really!!!. So, an increase in our taxes requires a referendum? How many referendums has Pickle’s and the government “cheated” us out of since they came to power???

  69. 69
    █████ Watch says:

    Yes, especially if there was a deal made available. Not sure how the marital coercion claimed by the other plaintiff can be disproved, and if both are found not guilty that would indeed be perverse.

  70. 70
    Censorship says:

    WTF! No comments on the Huhne thread?

  71. 71
  72. 72
    CiF says:

    We are available to satisfy your needs

  73. 73
    the savant10.4 highway patrol says:

    Too much information Noisy .

    Take a leaf from Silent’s book — he says it all when he says nothing at all

    ( respect to Ronan Keating ) .

  74. 74
    Frederick Gideon Threepwood says:

    Dear Cat; thank you for the link as I had not located the posts on an earlier search. It seems we differ very little in our view of events except that you are rather more generous in your assessment of Israeli behaviour. When referring to aid I was thinking of western aid generally rather than the UK.

  75. 75
    fitz fitz says:

    Romanians would be entranced …

  76. 76
    fitz fitz says:

    Stylishly put – the answer must be Sylvia Plath .

  77. 77
    Weekly round up of self serving c_nts. says:

    What a bunch of troughers and publicity seeking hoons.

  78. 78
    Thick Jean Brown fae Edinburgh and her ugly ginga guzzling brats. says:

    Sad dick¡

  79. 79
    Time for the Edinburgh socialist scrounging hoons to mind their own business. I am not answerable to these arseholes. says:

    Self serving Hunts


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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


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