January 25th, 2013

Friday Caption Contest (LibDem Electoral Prospects Edition)


  1. 1
    Welshracer says:

    Clegg “I would say it was about 8 inches”

  2. 2
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    “Yeah, brick. Rhymes with Nick. And prick.”

  3. 3
    jonboulton says:

    Clegg: “You didn’t build that”

  4. 4
    Teenage Mary says:

    You see – just like David was telling you. Arbeit Macht Frei!!!

  5. 5
    CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

    Invisible Man’s prostate declared cancer free by Clegg.

  6. 6

    Clegg: Good effort..but slight misunderstanding. When I asked you to build me a rock solid Lib Dem app ..i meant it to be about this size

  7. 7
    Nick Clegg says:

    I asked for biodegradable bricks and letters made from compressed garden mulch you idiots

  8. 8

    Clegg demonstrates exactly how he operates Sarah Teather.

  9. 9
    Simon Harley says:

    “All in all he’s just another prick in the wall.”

  10. 10

    Lib dems throw in the trowel

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    In 2015 I will be a bricklayers.

  12. 12
    Steve Miliband says:

    Eton Wall game not what it was

  13. 13
    Nick Clegg says:

    FFS you spell it – u b e r f u h r e r


  14. 14
    STuN says:

    And you are sure Huhne won’t be able to get out?

  15. 15
    deanpalmer says:

    “All in all it’s just a… nother prick with no balls”

  16. 16
    medici2471 says:

    ‘This is just the sort of capital spending that we can afford’

  17. 17
    Peter Grant says:

    NC: “I thought it was Chris Huhne for a moment there! Mind you, not the first time somebody’s said that apparently!”

  18. 18
    Mint Card says:

    So the Glory Hole goes about here, not sure Dave is that tall?

  19. 19
    Jerf says:

    Clegg to star in WALL-Y remake.

  20. 20
    CaptainPanakin says:

    Clegg “I was this close to getting my kids to to go to a state school, but now they won’t end up with a job like yours”

  21. 21
    Martin Day says:

    Nick ” I’m not sure that the swastika should be there, kindly check that with Owen Jones,he knows about everything.”

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    We need to disguise the writing on the wall and paper over all those cracks

  23. 23
    T'old Fella says:

    Clegg: I think those bricks could do with being a little higher

  24. 24
    Con Artists says:

    And I proudly open this tax payer funded state of the art 200,000 sq ft mosque in Birminghamp

  25. 25
    Plato says:

    The wall appears to be finished. So, what are they actually doing?

  26. 26
    Alastair Campbell Murderer says:

    Nick: “And when the fabulous EU forces us – sorry ‘encourages’ us – to ‘welcome’ several million more East Europeans from Jan 1st next year, your chances of getting work in the construction industry will be this tiny!”

  27. 27

    (Thought bubble) I really hope this policy of giving the vote to 16yr old school leavers (not going to University) will shore up our collapsing vote. It’s ghastly having to meet them though!

  28. 28
    CCHQ Press Officer says:

    Nick “This gag from Owen Jones had me in bits”

    I went into an antiques shop with a desk today and asked, “What’s the best you can do me on this?”

    “Doggy style,” replied the owner, then he got me on all four and buggered me on top of it.

  29. 29
    Anonymous says:

    How come, in G8 UK is the only country were finance ministry is run by a towel folder and PR guy?

    Now these two seems to be blaming OBR for making wrong forecast. As far as I know OBR forecast are based on numbers these too gave them and the explanation these two gave them. Even if OBR had been miss leading them all these years why don’t they sack OBR.

  30. 30

    Thanks, lads. I think that is definitely a clear enough dividing line between the Coalition Parties for the next election.

  31. 31
    Nursery Clegg says:

    Come on Humpty, ATOS said you’re just fine.

  32. 32
    I Squiggle says:

    And if you can just paper over those cracks, that’ll be the manifesto complete..

  33. 33
    Good bloke says:

    And this is the size of my respect for the UK’s sovereignty…. trough trough trough….

  34. 34
    I used to be a bisexual says:

    Whose is the prick standing between those workers in the hi-vis?

  35. 35
    Jerf says:

    Lad: “It says WELCOME MR PENIS sir”
    Clegg: “Thanks. Well the E and the N needs to be a bit closer.

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    “I thought I ordered a fence to sit on”

  37. 37
    Got a new crayon says:

    Clegg: “Is it ready for me to start pissing taxpayers money at it yet?”

  38. 38
    jacky Treehorn says:

    “Well that’s the ovens finnished”.

  39. 39
    old SHEP says:

    It’s just another brick…

  40. 40
    Steve Miliband says:

    Not sure you’ll win the caption contest with that

  41. 41
    Ex-Voter says:

    “I know the writing is on the wall, but look how thick it is.”

    “Sure, but ain’t it a perfect reflection.”

  42. 42
    Pink floyd sings: says:

    Just another prick and a wall

  43. 43
    Spelling Bee says:

    And E is for idiot!

  44. 44
    Moussa Koussa Mark 5 says:

    Come on Guido, more good news for Dave and Co today

    Legislation to enable same-sex marriages to take place in England and Wales has been published

  45. 45
    Cleggy of the People says:

    You’ve laid 30 bricks huh?
    I’ve laid that at least number of women mate.

  46. 46
    Steve Miliband says:

    Clegg has a cunning plan to raise the debt ceiling

  47. 47
    Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

    Sorry I don’t speak Polish

  48. 48
    Cheeky Chappy says:

    You said you wanted a couple of Es.

  49. 49
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    So, what crime did you commit Nick?

  50. 50
    Moussa Koussa Mark 5 says:

    The two shaved headed thug types:

    “””We support UKIP, but after we finished our community service building this friggin wall, we are gonna kick the f*uck out of the Pa*ki who got us done””

  51. 51
  52. 52
    Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

    My kids won’t need to train as a brickie as my wife is going to send them all to private school.

    Where is my gold medal for stinking hypocrisy

  53. 53
    Anonymous says:

    “OK, but the bricks took longer.”

  54. 54
    Nick Clegg says:

    Dave was telling me my load was short of a few bricks, but it looks OK to me

  55. 55
    Ned says:

    Nor the spelling contest.

  56. 56
    Osama the Nazarene says:


  57. 57
    old SHEP says:

    Slap puts it on with a trowel.

  58. 58
    Bob Johnson says:

    Yes Mr Clegg. This wall is the only thing that’s been built since the coalition took over.

  59. 59
    Anonymous says:

    Lad – “Mr Huhne came in last week to do the pointing”

  60. 60
    gramma says:

    Pointless prick , himself a brick in the wall, points out to student pointing bricks that artistic decoration is not all it was racked up to be.
    Student suggests he fukcs off, and goes back to decorating the coalition government..

  61. 61
    Sir William says:

    “So, if I started my apprenticeship now, I could be fully qualified by, say, 2015?”

  62. 62
    When I was a lad I served a term as office boy to an attorney's firm... says:

    Stop pointing. It’s sooo working class.

  63. 63
    Sungei Patani says:

    The writing is on the wall.

  64. 64
    Sir William says:

    ……well, it is Flemish Bond.

  65. 65
    bill anderson says:

    And this is the same wall I’ve been moulding with my forehead…..

  66. 66
    old SHEP says:

    Clegg gives a rendition, but it’s not set in concrete.

  67. 67
    The scrotie says:

    “So Mr Clegg join thumb and finger, shake your hand back and forth and now you know what we all think of you”

  68. 68
    Sir William says:

    This is your new office, Mr Clegg.

  69. 69
    Aaron says:

    By removing bricklaying coursework from the construction GDP figures we can cause a stink for the conservatives.

  70. 70
    gramma says:

    Clegg- “Mortar does not hold the bricks together, it keeps the bricks apart”

    Bricklaying pupil – ” Bit like you and the coalition government then ?”

  71. 71
    Sir William says:

    Walling her up might seem harsh, but it was the only way to keep Lynne Featherstone quiet.

  72. 72
    a non says:

    + many

  73. 73
    Tuscan Tony says:

    On a dull and serious note anyone care to explain why the lads are wearing hi vis jackets indoors?

  74. 74
    richard adams says:

    Wailing Wall

  75. 75
    Roger Waters says:

    Excellent! I was working on something like that, but this is great! Thanks for saving me the trouble of thinking – it means I can get on with my work…

  76. 76

    I heard Simon Hughes used a Queen Closer here.

  77. 77
    Milton Keynes says:

    Much as I enjoy being able to accuse cruel, arrogant upper class twats like Osborne of incompetence it ultimately misses the point. He is not an economist but a right wing political graduate of modern history. The entire approach from the start of this government has been to play up the UK’s fiscal woes and the need for public sector austerity as a cloak for “rolling back the state” with a speed and severity that Thatcher could only dream of. In this sense, his policy has been and continues to be an overwhelming success..cuts in school and NHS budgets, welfare and the rest are not, for Osbourne and much of the modern Tory party a means to an end but an end in itself.

    I don’t believe for a minute that Gideon Osborne believes cuts as fast and as deep as we’ve experienced since 2010 are the solution to our economic slowdown but in terms of fulfilling the aspirations of right wing neo-liberal think tanks they are exactly what was required.

    The incompetence lies with the Lib Dems who must actually believe this shit that strangling the public sector and pushing swathes of hard working ordinary people into poverty will actually heal our economy. Either that or they are opportunists who will cling desperately to the wreckage until they loose their seats and their jobs at the next election.

  78. 78
    HenryV says:

    Clegg criticises final year construction students as they complete their course project, a welcome sign in Romanian and Bulgarian. Clegg explained, “They will only get to build one thing in their life before a life on the dole, you would think they would make an effort. If they are like this now how are they going to be after 10 years of fortnightly visits to the JobCentre? it comes to something when HMG has to import both workers and benefit claimants to make the UK work properly.”

  79. 79
    Polly 'batshit crazy' Toynbee says:

    Levison and the Lib Dems – Nailing freedom to the wall since 1922

  80. 80
    Moussa Koussa Mark 5 says:

    Since 3rd Qtr ( July, Aug, Sept 2010 ) there has NOT been a single instance of back to back consecutive quarterly growth in the economy

    Since 3rd Qtr ( July, Aug, Sept 2010 ) Ten Qtrs. 4 positive 6 negative – Total = +0.4

    Last 4 Qtrs of Brown = +2. Dave and Co ridiculed those figures as dire. He would love them now.

  81. 81
    A Hilter (no relation) says:

    I really shouldn’t, but this made me laugh. I must be a Lib Dem…

  82. 82
    Anonymous says:

    Nick surveys Pink Floyd’s set design for the next fundraiser.

    (I wish)

  83. 83

    Nick: I only have a collection of Quarter Bats.

  84. 84
    Vote UKIP says:

    Clegg: I know how to do a good Nazi symbol.

  85. 85
    fingersinears says:

    We hardly dare ask?

  86. 86

    …and thereby create a new pattern: The English Double-Cross Bond.

  87. 87

    LibDems. It’s what they do.

  88. 88
    CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

    Freudian projection from the left. Old Labour voters are still haemorrhaging to the B&P.

  89. 89
    Realist says:

    If you WERE Milton Keynes, then you’d know that a Keynsian stimulus is dependent on having a good set of financial figures to give you the ability to pay for the stimulus. We HAVEN’T good finances after the tragic Labour years. The country’s debt is still going up because so far we have been able to cut very little.
    Crawl back under your stone, thicko.

  90. 90
    Good bloke says:

    “””We support the Marxist LibLabCon EU projet, but after we finished our community service building this friggin wall, we are gonna kick the f*uck out of the British who got us done””

  91. 91
    Kebab time gives me a boner says:

    Dave doesn’t really do figures.

    He’s more a concepts, big picture kind of guy.

    And a lying cun*t, of course.

  92. 92
    Vote UKIP says:

    Clegg: You have a nice plum, Bob?

  93. 93
    CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

    There’s been NO cuts. only less growth in state debt.

    If only this party did want to roll back the metastatic state.

  94. 94

    Brickie: And you didn’t lead that.

  95. 95
    CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

    Need to cut the state and thus afford more tax cuts then.

  96. 96
    David Laws Lib Dem Fiddler says:

    Adequate to prevent criticism, but I usually ignore the plebs.

  97. 97
    ROFL says:

    I can’t see what it is yet.

  98. 98
    Jimmy says:

    The PM and the Chancellor left me in charge of this. They say it’s supposed to be curved or they can’t play the game properly.

  99. 99
    bond- english bond says:

    Brainless idiot suggesting a load of rowlocks risks getting a shiner.

  100. 100
    PC Gatekeeper says:

    and den dave ‘as said we is to like brick it up wiv yous in it, innit

  101. 101

    No, sorry, love! You will have to cut that down a bit if you want it to win the cappo contest…

  102. 102
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    And you learn all this at a Private School?

  103. 103
    Geordieboy says:

    It has to be smaller so the Romanians don’t hurt themselves jumping over it

  104. 104
    graham smith says:

    all in all we are just another brick in the wall

  105. 105

    The member for Eastleigh may need diapering by this afternoon.

  106. 106
    Sungei Patani says:

    You sound as deluded as Ed Balls.

  107. 107
    Mr Nobody says:

    …but Mr Cable wanted it leaning to the left…

  108. 108

    Nick is bricking himself, one imagines…

  109. 109

    You forgot the damp course.

  110. 110
    Perse O'Nally says:

    The moving finger writes………..

  111. 111
    Geordieboy says:

    Is that Twat in Polish.

  112. 112

    The brick is more cut even than Charles Kennedy is.

  113. 113
    David Cameltoe says:

    And now, Nickers, at last you see the proverbial brick wall, that dealing with you is like beating one’s head against.

  114. 114
    Jumbo says:

    “You want me to put the blindfold on and stand right there?”

  115. 115

    He’ll need to be stretchered off if he carries on like that.

  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    “That should keep the onesie in there.”

  117. 117
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    “I know what you said Miriam is built like, but I didn’t think you lot would actually go and build one!”

  118. 118
    David Gilmour's black Strat says:

    You hum it, I’ll play it. By the way, this is the obvious winner.

  119. 119

    Is this at a Foundation Trust hospital?

  120. 120

    Spanish bond needs a lot of raking out.

  121. 121
    genghiz the kahn says:

    It’s OK Chris, you can come out now.

  122. 122

    The bricks stayed up.

  123. 123
    Thrapper says:

    All in all, he’s just another prick near a wall.

  124. 124

    Lad: It’s pointless. Like you.

  125. 125
    A Hilter (no relation) says:

    ‘Are you sure it’s spelt “Nazee”?’

  126. 126
    restore the monasteries says:

    “I,m helping with my invisible trowel”,”Phlegmish Bond”…

  127. 127
    roundell says:

    Lib Dem youth wing show the leader where all the evidence against Jeremy Thorpe, Cyril Smith and Chris Huhne is hidden

  128. 128

    Clegg: Where is Thisbe’s crack?

  129. 129
    Thrapper says:

    He loves private education,

    He wants to impose thought control

    No son of his in a public classroom

    Hey Cleggy! Cast another stone

    All in all, you’re just another prick near a wall.

  130. 130
    idle says:

    “Can you shift it a bit to the left? …………. No, further ……….. More …….. More yet ……. Quite a bit further, actually”

    “We’ve run out of wall, guv”

  131. 131
    Charlie says says:

    Comment deleted due to Contempt of Court Act 1981.

  132. 132
    Doggie Fashion says:

    Very good.

  133. 133
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve never laid bricks. On the other hand I have laid a few…….

  134. 134
    summer_breeze says:

    Clegg, getting on with building the new ‘ Wailing Wall ‘ of the LibDems, ready for 2015 election defeat!

  135. 135
    Sir William says:

    Now let’s see that Ellie Simmons get in here!

  136. 136
    Simon Hughes says:

    I love a good header.

  137. 137
    Andy Fairweather Low says:

    I’m not touring with you again.

  138. 138
    Tom Catesby says:

    I hope Clegg manages to finish the wall in time for the next general election, is it like the one he and his party are going to slam into, before disappearing into the political outer darkness for another 100 years?

  139. 139
    Anonymous says:

    Clegg inspecting the wall keeping the oiks away from the fee paying school he will send his spawn to

  140. 140
    Ann Ayrab says:

    You may well wish to know that there is no ‘p’ in the Arabic alphabet.

    So, when an arab calls you a brick, he really means you are a brick.

  141. 141

    Nick Clegg decides to get personally involved in constructing the UK fiscal cliff.

  142. 142
    leo bartlet says:

    Just another prick on the wall

  143. 143
    Gonk III says:

    ‘ See that hole there…..at a convenient height ‘

  144. 144
    anonemo says:

    Clegg demonstrates his version of a two fingered salute.

  145. 145
    John B says:

    Just another prick in the wall.

  146. 146
    Welshracer says:

    Nick Clegg “The ward wall needs to be a bit more thicker”

    Kid on left “You mean like David Ward?”

  147. 147
    Anonymous says:

    This is Chris Huhne’s new living quarters

  148. 148
    domino316 says:

    I’ll take your cast iron Dave and raise you rock solid.
    Well just like the coalition, its built on a shaky foundation.

    Youth “I got 100 hours service for vandalising a Bus stop”

    Clegg “I get a big salary and the deputy prime-ministers job for vandalising the country”.

  149. 149
    Keith Dovkunts says:

    And behind this wall is where we’ll detain the “Get out of Europe” voters . . .

  150. 150
    Fact Hunt says:

    Another prick and a wall.

  151. 151
    Fact Hunt says:

    Feck, sorry John B!

  152. 152
    haddock says:

    Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!

    All in all it’s just another prick and a wall.

    Pink Floyd.

  153. 153
    Grimy Miner says:

    Nick Clegg starts his induction into the Freemasons, sponsored by Handycock.

  154. 154
    corridor of uncertainty says:

    Excellent, I don’t see Huhne getting out of there in a hurry

  155. 155
    The Hodge offshore trust fund says:

    Huhne’s in with her as he wants to get used to being walled up.

  156. 156
    Jimmy Fox says:

    Oh, I see its got a brass plaque on it…..”Memorial to the Liberal Democrats, died 2015″

  157. 157
    A. N. Other says:

    “All in all you’re just another prick in Whitehall”

  158. 158

    I did not notice this one first time but it is rather good.

  159. 159

    Of course my kids will miss out on all this University equivalent apprenticeships as they are having to go to private school and will just have to attend Oxbridge before a cushy number with the EU or a Euro Bank.

  160. 160
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    ….and we will park the 12-seater for the Parliamentary party post-2015 just there…

  161. 161
    MarkAustin says:

    The Conservatives are gloating about the collapse of the Lib Dem vote.

    In fact, in order to win the next election, the Conservatives need a Lib Dem revival.

    A simple number proves this. 57. That’s the number of Conservative held seats where the Lib Dem vote is more than twice their majority.

    If the Lib Dem vote collapses, the Conservatives lose these seats.

  162. 162
    Jimbo says:

    Dave said, You have got to cut it back by this much “

  163. 163
    Name optional says:

    Where’s wall y ?

  164. 164
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    What makes you think that the Conservatives have the stomach for another 5 years tied to a bunch of traitorous opportunists? The LibDems are more likely to sell themselves to their Marxist fellow-travellers in an attempt to keep the seats they have.

  165. 165
    Damned Impertinent Questions says:

    “Its specially made so that, on Monday, if any bullets miss David Ward it will absorb them and they wont bounce back on the Whips?”

  166. 166
    Damned Impertinent Questions says:

    So can you build one to run down the middle of the Cabinet Table?

  167. 167
    Damned Impertinent Questions says:

    “So now can you do one in the shape of a box with padded walls inside.I do want Vince to be comfortable …and quiet”

  168. 168
    Damned Impertinent Questions says:

    “But is it Romanian proof?”

  169. 169
    Damned Impertinent Questions says:

    “We did build one in Dover to keep the Romanians out but its now a housing estate in Calais”

  170. 170
    Damned Impertinent Questions says:

    “Our focus groups suggest they should all be a pale yellow colour”

  171. 171
    poets day says:

    Sorry guv, but your Mr Hughes said you need to see the writing on the wall…

  172. 172

    OK sir, we’ve bricked that Dave guy in. How big do you want the air holes?

  173. 173
    Anonymous says:

    So these are Bricks then?

  174. 174

    It’s rude to point !

  175. 175

    A total no hoper meets some kid on a YTS

  176. 176
    neil lark says:

    When I am a Tory I think I will get a wall like this to keep all those Damn Students out!

  177. 177
    (I've been renamed) DA-Notice says:

    Pointing you say.

    This is too advanced for me, will you point me to burger flipping please.

  178. 178
    Blind leading the blind says:

    Finally stopped the wailing from Ward

  179. 179
    rogertil says:

    All in all it’s just,
    one more prick by a wall

  180. 180
    Hadrian (Emp.) says:

    “Are you sure Ward cannot get out?”

  181. 181
    Bloke says:

    “…and as Dave climbed back over the wall into Number 10 at midnight I gave him a little pinch like this!”

  182. 182
    samlatham says:

    And you’re seriously telling me that it’s costing you £9,000 a year in tuition fees for this?

  183. 183
    Penfold says:

    So Nick, what was that previous job you said you did….

  184. 184
    Mars Attacks says:

    Another prick in the wall.

  185. 185
    Liarpoliticians says:

    The Liberal Democrats are like the mortar in this brick work, we hold the coalition together. Unfortunately, it was put together by a Polish builder we let into the UK, so will fall apart in May 2015!

  186. 186
    jack welby says:

    The wall fell down trapping Nick. Who will replace him. Any ideas?

  187. 187
    Pundit Too says:

    I was this close to getting bricklaying into a structured apprenticeship programme to schools such as this.
    But our infrastructure building programme is going nowhere.

  188. 188
    idle says:

    Brilliant, Jacky. The winner.

  189. 189
    Roger Waters says:

    Damn right you’re not! I need someone who can actually play the thing like David Gilmour. Actually , I need David Gilmour himself, as all the guitarists I use are hopeless.
    Go back to being Wide Eyed And Legless, you Natural Sinner!

Seen Elsewhere

Liz Kendall For Leader | Indy
Bashir Booted Out By Respect | Respect
Americans Try Haggis | Guardian
Page 3 and the Art of the Self-Pity Statement | Guardian
Steven Woolfe For UKIP Leader? | Asa Bennett
Mohammed — in Pictures | Speccie
Leon Brittan’s Accusers Must Show Their Evidence | Dan Hodges
New Saudi King Renames Roads While Body Still Warm | TechnoGuido
In Davos, Carrying a BlackBerry is a Status Symbol | Business Insider
New Labour in Peep Show Quotes | Telegraph
Here is What a 7 Way Debate Sounds Like | BBC

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers