January 24th, 2013

Guidogram Going Out Shortly

The Guidogram round-up of the week is going out shortly.

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  1. 1
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Threads thick and fast.

  2. 2

    Forhow long will Cameron`s euro-speech fool us all?

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    The devil will be in the detail and will need VERY close examination.

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    If Ed agrees to a referendum just before the election, Dave`s strategy will unwind. It will be back to 1975 with all establishment parties urging `yes`.

  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    It`s a plot!

  6. 6
    Tory Patriot says:

    The empahsis must be on a fully detailed and comprehensive list of what powers will be RETAINED by the EU not on which powers will be surrendered. Watch out for trickery at home and abroad!

  7. 7
    Tory Patriot says:

    It`s a play on words!

  8. 8
    SD says:

    Just heard some farmers laughing about being paid twice by the EU with British taxpayers money.

    Reform CAP – didn’t the war criminal Blair surrender our rebate for proper reform?

    Lab / Lab / Con – they will not tell the truth about the costs of the EU.

    F_ck ‘em- landowners at the trough and the Cleggs, Camerons and Milibands – vote Ukip.

  9. 9
    Julie, Julie Kirkbride says:

    Its simply simply divine.

  10. 10
    FU EU says:

    it’s a get-up.

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    No proposed detail – it says nothing.

  12. 12
    Anonymous says:

    Five more years!!!!!

  13. 13
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Where exactly did Cam-moron say he’d take any notice of a vote to leave the EU? All he said is give people a say.

    It’s like a woman listening to your opinion, she takes no notice.

  14. 14
    shergar says:

    I thought we had liberated Benghazi and that they were all very grateful .

    Well why is it the Government is telling UK citizens to drop everything and leave prompt or better still the day before yesterday.

    I cannot understand any of this.

    Is it all to do with the French ?

  15. 15
    Anonymous says:

    Are Tories stupid to be taken in by all this?

  16. 16
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Will Cleggie be able to talk about educating his kids privately without using some cliché about a “political football”? telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/…— Daniel Hannan (@DanHannanMEP) January 24, 2013

  17. 17
    Plato says:

    A lack of detail is exactly the point?

  18. 18
    FU EU says:

    Couldn’t the EUSSR go on a three day week for six months, and save everybody billions?
    I know it would mean that the little people across Europe would have to put up with less laws and edicts during that time, but I’m sure we could make do as it would be saving us money.

    Come to think of it, what do all those thousands of EUSSR workers do everyday?

  19. 19
    SP4BS says:

    The sahara desert.

    Its a bit like the schengen area of africa. You don’t get your passport checked, or your boot sniffed by a spaniel when you cross the borders.

  20. 20
    Anonymous says:

    Farm `subsidies` are a joke and a swindle enabling farmers to exploit every loophole imaginable.

  21. 21
    SP4BS says:

    PS: yes

  22. 22
    Plato says:

    ALL the gossip on Chris?

    I think not…

  23. 23
    A Thawt says:

    Clearly – along with what seems to be 90% of the population.

  24. 24
    A Thawt says:

    Plot our downfall – and then translate it all into 30 languages.

  25. 25
    Typical Bloke says:

    Yes dear

  26. 26
    Gonk III says:

    Monicker variations thick and fast !

  27. 27
    Herman Achille Van Rompuy says:

    3 day week !!!!

    Bloody hell I am not working that many days a week.

  28. 28
    Typical Bloke says:

    They both look nice – you decide.

  29. 29
    Hoping for a proper verdict says:

    I heard a rumour that he’s a bit of a knob but you probably already know that’s not true as he is a lot of a knob.

    It would be interesting to know Mr Justice Sweeney’s reasons for keeping us from the entertainment.

  30. 30
    Anonymous says:

    Its a con!

  31. 31
    hank the cat says:

    Clicked on the link in “Quote of the day” and came across this quote from George Orwell.

    ‘First of all, a message to English left-wing journalists and intellectuals generally: “Do remember that dishonesty and cowardice always have to be paid for. Don’t imagine that for years on end you can make yourself the boot-licking propagandist of the Soviet regime, or any other regime, and then suddenly turn to mental decency. Once a whore, always a whore.”‘

    This should be tattooed on the the foreheads on all our lefty friends

  32. 32
    Typical Woman says:

    No thanks I don’t want any ‘insert here’ Ill just have some of yours

  33. 33
    Finally Not Tory says:

    It`s a disgrace!

  34. 34
    Dr Who says:

    Sock-puppets washed and changed.

  35. 35
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Use to be

    As thick as a Planck

  36. 36
    Finally Not Tory says:

    A nation of naieve twits?

  37. 37
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    Farage has gone quiet. Is he writing UKIP’s winding up speech?

    What seems to have gone unnoticed is that, UKIP won’t actually be able stand candidates at the next election. Given that the current conditions for not standing is that the Conservative candidate has to publicly back the idea of an In/Out referendum on EU membership. As this will be Conservative party policy, it is safe to assume that just about every candidate we be publicly backing such an idea!

    Please can Farage clarify what UKIP’s position will be at the next general election if the Conservatives are sticking to that commitment?

  38. 38
    Captain George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    Steady as she goes dead ahead


  39. 39
    Finally Not Tory says:

    The downfall is almost completed, and will not need translation.

  40. 40
    Piss and Wind says:

    Exactly, it’s all bollocks from Dave.

  41. 41

    Thraight from the fridgthe?

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    Its a long time ahead.

  43. 43

    In three minutes and ten seconds, the time will be …

  44. 44
    hank the cat says:

    Farage was doing the rounds yesterday, stating that UKIP will be standing in the General Election 2015 also in the EU elections next year, he was saying that cameroon is just not trusted after his “cast iron guarantee”” on the Lisbon treaty. I think that he has a point.

  45. 45
  46. 46
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    he can still say what UKIPs’s position will be if the Conservatives are sticking to it.

    It’s not an unreasonable request.

  47. 47
    SP4BS says:

    only when they get really crusty.

  48. 48
    Schrödinger's dog says:

    One day!

  49. 49
    Einstein says:


  50. 50
  51. 51
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Of course, we all know what the Leftie reaction to all this would be:

    “…[O]r any other regime…”
    Would that description encompass the EU, do you suppose?
    Oh no, how dare you compare the EU to the old USSR?
    And Leftie journalists to whores?
    Even though, to be fair, we would have shilled for the old Soviets ourselves– and it isn’t just only Lefties who like the EU– but we know what you’re trying to say, don’t we? THAT’s why it’s HATE SPEECH!!! MUST DESTROY!!!

  52. 52
    hank the cat says:

    If Milliband Jnr has been told that to improve his chances at the next general election he needs to spend £14000 to get his nose fixed. Yes that is about the price in todays market but and a big but, what are to costs to stop him being a complete loon?

  53. 53
  54. 54
    Plato says:

    The electoral ‘pact’ was Michael Fabricant’s idea, not UKIP’s?

  55. 55
    Red Egg Millitit... says:

    and welcome :)

    Reap what you sow :)

  56. 56
    Heisenberg says:

    Are you certain?

  57. 57
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    What a little wanker he is, He will stand candidates in marginals then!! What nasty little Liebour shill he is.

    Cameron didn’t break a promise in the Lisbon treaty, GORDON FVCKING BROWN DID!!!!
    It was already passed into EU law before the election, a referendum would have had no effect you fvcking numbskull! Not to mention the Lib dems would rather poke their own eyes out than vote for a bill that would be anti-EU.

    But there again, 30% of UKVNT voters are though to be ex-Labour so it might be worth the twats hanging around, as right-wingers will be back with Tories.

  58. 58
    Heisenberg says:


  59. 59
    a ponsy PPE graduate says:

    What do we really mean by the artificial construct that we use to measure time and has become a replacement for the difficult to comprehend abstraction? If only we ahd the time and space to explore it more fully………

  60. 60
    UK Public says:


  61. 61
    Heidelberg says:

    Its the principle

  62. 62
    Descartes says:

    I think not!


  63. 63
    Just Fancy That says:

    Last few days, Europhiles telling us EU exit will cost many jobs.
    Today, Spanish unemployment rate up to 26%(55% with the young)

  64. 64
    J. M. E. McTaggart says:


    Put the kettle on!

  65. 65
    restore the monasteries says:

    I would be interested to know,”How many British Citizens either work for the
    discredited EU,and,how many of the “Good and the Great,recieve money from
    the EU,be it pensions or grants?????i
    We should have the IN/OUT referendum before the next election while the tories are in government,as there are too many “Ifs and buts”, and the outcome of the next election is not known.If the tories dont win,then the opportunity of a referendum will be lost for another generation or so.Good speech though!!!

  66. 66
    Heisenberg says:

    Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?

    Because when they find the position, they can’t find the momentum, and when they have the momentum , they can’t find the position.

  67. 67
    Rightie says:

    No, we won’t dear. You are living in cloud cuckoo land.

  68. 68
    Einstein's friend says:

    He was uncertain.

  69. 69
    Questioner says:

    I thought he had it done last year? Didn’t make any difference to his brain.

  70. 70
    anon says:

    Sex Worker, not Whore you unspeakable right-wing cad and potential rapist.

  71. 71
    Wave Equation says:

    Are you sure?

  72. 72
    Ray Romano says:

    Ed Miliband needs fourteen thousand pounds worth of work done on cosmetic surgery, the result being he’ll look even more like a slightly younger version of me than he already does. I should be flattered, I guess– everybody loves Raymond, right? (And who’s got a big but?)


  73. 73
    Harry says:

    Got her!
    One for Grand Uncle

  74. 74
    Wake up and smell the injustice says:

    Yeah right

  75. 75
    H4rry says:

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    January 24, 2013 at 4:19 pm
    Got her!
    One for Grand Uncle

  76. 76
  77. 77
    Einstein says:

    I think you’ve all had a little too much Planck…

  78. 78
    unemployed and skint in Birtley Colliery says:

    If there is a job going in this EU place then I am definitrly voting for it.

  79. 79
    Dagenham Daves Arse Cleavage says:

    I can rearrange his boatrace for fucking free

  80. 80
    Caroline Flint says:

    Is this a trick question?

  81. 81
    Heidelberg says:

    Its because theoretical physicists ten to go to singularity bars for a drink.

  82. 82
    Heidelberg says:


  83. 83
    hank the cat says:

    Ona lighter note, where has balls been hiding for the last couple of days?

  84. 84
    Jolly Roger says:

    Someone should have been walking off it by now…

  85. 85
    Jokeline for clever folk says:

    The bartender says “what can I get you”

    A neutrino walks into a bar

  86. 86
    Propaganda Watch says:

    You believe anything about the post Spring countries that has been reported in the UK ?

    Hopefully the Common Purpose parasites will be exterminated en route to the airport.

  87. 87
    Objective Collapse says:

    Former energy …

    Wait a minute, I am not allowed to complete this equation! :-o

  88. 88
    Sans Culottes says:

    On lbc at the moment saying that the plod have been fiddling the crime figures again.

  89. 89
    It could be Heisinger says:

    That was Heisinger wasn’t it?

  90. 90
    It could be Heisinger says:

    He is uncertain.

  91. 91
    SP4BS says:

    because aspergers syndrome puts girl off.

  92. 92
    Don't come here moaning about your lost balls says:

    Look in the bag or at the vets.

  93. 93
    On a more helpful note says:

    Perhaps he is at Davos where all of the cnut have gone to try to get beige envelopes.

  94. 94
    Many Worlds says:

    Don’t be a Bohr!

  95. 95
    On a more helpful note says:

    Is it a fiddle or the fact that numeracy has been an undrated skill in plod recruitment.

  96. 96
    Lord Fatten says:

    I can do nine jobs in a 3 day week.

  97. 97
    Denis MacShameless says:

    Nonsense ! Next, you’ll be saying that politicians fiddle their expenses.

  98. 98
    Lord Fatten says:

    Or that BBC employees fiddled with kids whilst I fiddled as Rome burnt.

  99. 99
    Piss and Wind says:

    Lets play a game.
    From the last general election I’d like you to take all of UKIP votes and add them to the Tory votes for each and every constituency, then I want you to ask yourself this question.

    Would Dave have had a majority in the 2010 general election with those extra UKIP votes added?

  100. 100
    Tend says:

    Technological Education and National Development

  101. 101
    Anonymous says:

    For the English scholars, sentencing will be on Friday.

  102. 102
    Copper jacked up on steroids says:


  103. 103
    S Level scholar says:

    …ynnuf tib a llew
    ynnuF yrev

  104. 104
    ██ ████████ ███████ says:

    *dons black wig*

  105. 105
    old SHEP says:

    Say hello to Mr Taser.

  106. 106
  107. 107
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Oh, yes pleeeeease !!!

  108. 108
    Moussa Koussa Mark 5 says:

    Now that Brits are been told to get the hell out of Libya asap… does this mean Hague’s and Dave’s intervention in that country has gone Eric Pickle shaped

  109. 109
    Marmite says:

    Certainly not a nation of spellers anymore by the look of it F.N.T.! Educated under Labour by the look of it.

  110. 110
    For h = 1 to n
      Call Adjourn
    Next h
  111. 111
    Marmite says:

    Entirely agree C.O.A.B.

    UKIP is basically a one trick pony & Labour are just bare faced l.i.a.r.s.

  112. 112
    Wotta Tossa Skid Mark 5 says:

    It merely indicates that the religion of piss despises democracy.

  113. 113
    Who's a good little boy then? says:

    Shame Liebour didn’t do the same in Iraq and Afghanistan, I’d rather the troops be made redundant than come home in body bags, but nothing like Liebour politicians showing their braindead how gung ho and expensive they are

  114. 114
    Not go please says:

    hehehe it’s not true, those Germans do have a sense of humor after all.


  115. 115
    Gooey Blob says:

    14 grand of cosmetic surgery won’t win Miliband an election, although if someone were to invent an operation to make him less of a pillock, he might stand more of a chance.

  116. 116
    Gooey Blob says:

    Your time might be spent more constructively helping Ed come up with some policies, not trolling on an anti-politics blog.

  117. 117
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    go sub and repeat

  118. 118
    Owen Jones says:

    In rural Ireland until recently Paddy McNee was making and selling chicken burgers. These became very popular due to the taste, an old family secret passed down through the generations, and before long Paddy had to expand his manufacturing operations to keep up with demand. He began exporting to Europe, where they were received even better and he soon became rich.

    Little did anyone know he had been mixing horsemeat into the chicken burgers, and guilt got the better of him, so he went to Church to relieve his conscience…

    “How much horse did u put into the chicken burgers, Patrick?” asked the Priest at confession.

    “I never went beyond the 50/50 mark, Father.” he replied. “One chicken, one horse.”

  119. 119
    Owenjones86 says:

    I dream of German-themed wanking parties. I have a fantasy where I grovel at Angela Merkel’s feet, and she shouts….Labour forever.

  120. 120
    BBC Basic says:

    You should start from zero:


    For h = 0 to n

      Call Adjourn
    Next h
  121. 121
    Anonymous says:

    Land owners, not farmers!

    Please do not think the CAP as anything to do with food production.

  122. 122
    Archer Karcher says:

    By 2015, it will be yet another LabLibCon.

  123. 123
    HEY!! DAVE says:

    Britons have paid off half their personal loans since the financial crisis, with debts at their lowest since 1999.

    All in this together??

  124. 124
    Anonymous says:

    It is easier than that, they are just rude and abusive to anyone that might cause them work, and refuse to listen so there was no crime reported. As long as they start attacking the person reporting the crime there never will be any crimes.

    We have enough public proof recently. It is always the victims fault.

    But personally I wish that inspector who had a go at me, similar treatment if he ever gets on the wrong end of the UK corruption. But he will not know about the death that resulted from his actions.

  125. 125
    Barr O'So says:

    If the Britisher swine vote to leave, we will simply make you vote again and again, until you change your minds.

  126. 126
    old SHEP says:

    I noticed that as well, the little people that have been dropped in the shit by the big people have managed to reduce their outgoings and pay off debt from necessity and basic housekeeping, whereas the gravy train of the usual suspects keeps on rolling.

  127. 127
    Answer Please says:

    Let’s play another game, this one can be called ‘The Lisbon treaty excuse’ you might know how it goes.

    Cameron makes a cast iron pledge, McRuin signs Lisbon, Cameron bleats we’re stuck with it forever now, there’s nothing I can do.

    Then, when Cameron’s numbers are falling off a cliff, he suddenly says ‘my hands are not tied forever now’ we can have a referendum!

    Now children, here’s the question.

    How come we couldn’t have a referendum before, because of McRuin’s treachery, but we can have a referendum at some point in the distant future, albeit, qualified by lot’s and lot’s of if, if, if, if’s of course?

  128. 128
    Anonymous says:

    307 people are declared insolvent or bankrupt every day.

    90 properties are repossessed every day

    The UK population is growing by an estimated 1,342 people a day.

    261 new homes registered per day.

    I hope those are not true statistics.

  129. 129
    Freedom and Democracy says:

    Even if the ‘one trick pony’ jibe were true, it doesn’t excuse Cameron’s repeated lies and scaremongering, regarding how terrible it will be, if we dare to leave the EU shithouse.

  130. 130
    Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

    I’m on a gravy train with my pensions, benefits (solid as the Rock of Gibraltar) and compensation.

  131. 131
    Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

    It has it’s drawbacks though. I’ve had to wait in every day this week in case my parcels from Amazon arrive.

    Isn’t life a b*itch!

  132. 132
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    let’s play another game, If the Conservatives has sounded like Farage, how many votes would they have lost from the floating vote?

    That’s right children, a lot more than they lost to UKIP, who are mainly made up of twats who only ever voted Tory in 1983, if ever, or never vote or are Ex-Labour!

  133. 133
    old SHEP says:

    Nonsensical comments.

  134. 134
    Swollen Glands says:

    For h=1:1 Q:BORED=True W *7,!,”Adjourn”

  135. 135
    This is too easy says:

    Ha, ha, ha, torwee troll changes the subject as fast as liar Cameron. It must suck to be you.

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