January 20th, 2013

Guido’s Column in the Daily Star Sunday

In Guido’s Daily Star Sunday column:

  • Labour’s new “Shadow Minister for London” Sadiq Khan eyes the Mayoralty. Who are the rivals who say “No You Khant?”
  • Dave’s relationship with backbenchers explained in a nutshell.
  • Another blow for the Glasgow Labour leadership: from cocaine to police caution for gay public “sex act”.
  • David Miliband trousers £1.1 million since “losing”. Blairite Lord Sainsbury funds his comeback campaign with half-a-million.
  • Green peer reviewed climate research scaremongering from yesteryear: “children just aren’t going to know what snow is”.
  • Newsroom shock at the “death” of the Shadow Chancellor.

All for just £1…


  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    Good column , but would it have been news if Glasgow Labour Council story had involved heterosexual sex act?

  2. 2
    Ctesibius says:

    Yes but it wouldn’t have been ss funny.

  3. 3
    question says:

    Do you have an F5 key stuck up your passage?

  4. 4
    worried resident says:

    My Hero!

  5. 5
    Putr1d Labour ruined my Country says:

    ten million new immigrants on their way, benefits are oustanding says Lithuanian single mother parasite?

  6. 6
    Well I never....... who would have believed it ?? says:

    We wish to give advance notice to our viewers that tomorrow’s BBC News and Current Affairs Coverage will be given over exclusively to the Inauguration of Pres Obama and commencement of his second term. Our coverage will commence on BBC News Channel from 6am GMT Monday 21 January 2013 and will run continuously until 6am Tuesday 22 January 2013. During this time our news teams located around the continental USA will be covering the event and providing in-depth analysis of this important occasion.

  7. 7
    P l e b says:

    I really don’t understand this. I have cancer, and have had to fight like fuck for ESA. I can’t get Housing Benefit, Council Tax Benefit, Tax credits (because I’m off work), Income Support, or any help with utility bills. I’m 55 with one grown up child.
    I pay Income Tax and NI on the ESA.

    So how the hell can these folks come here and get benefits by the barrowload?

  8. 8

    Should there have been an a in front of the ss?

    Jus’ asskin?

  9. 9
    Frank Skunner says:

    So? They would have done the same if Romney had won.

  10. 10
    Ctesibius says:


  11. 11
    Regulations Dear Boy, Regulations says:

    So the problem at T’ Heathrow ain’t the Snow but because the vis is bad the airyplanes have to fly further apart.

    Now is this extra distance an arbitrary figure or one based on sound science?

    I have a feeling in my water that it is just a figure plucked out of mid air and someone had to write some regulations that more separation distance is required in bad weather. But in reality if you is initially ten miles apart or 1000 yards apart it ain’t going to make any difference when you spot the broken down plane just 10 yards in front of you.

    Would have thought technology these days would allow the separation distance to be greatly and safely reduced but no one wants to be the person hung out to dry if there is a collision

  12. 12
    Putr1d Labour ruined my Country says:

    The eu! Lithuanians get over 20 times the benefits here and play the system.

  13. 13

    Glad we got to the bottom of that one then. :-)

  14. 14
    Putr1d Labour ruined my Country says:

    Not a chance in hell, the BBC is so biased it doesn’t even recognise the meaning anymore?

  15. 15
    Who? Who Are You? says:

  16. 16
    Selfish motorist says:

    Maybe that regulation should be introduced on all UK roads. Then I could get to work quickly.

  17. 17
    Bleeding destitute says:

    Algeria: ‘we face decades of terrorism struggle’, says David Cameron


    I just wonder who is making all the money in the security military complex?

  18. 18
    Grumpy Old Man says:


  19. 19
    The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

    We probably will not be reporting on the moves already in place to have Obama impeached for betraying the constitution.

    Further, there will be no questioning of the funding of this inauguration, the fact that most attendees will likely be ‘room meat’ as regular support were somewhat affronted when asked to pay to attend.

    There will be no mention that many in the country are seriously questioning the pi$$ poor performance of the first term, the apparent high treason connected with Benghazi, and various other concerns regarding birth certificates and parentage.

    In fact, there is an advance script of the inaugural speech derived from the previous here, which we may re-edit in order to try and make it look like things are close to normal:


  20. 20
    Tom Pride says:

    David Cameron has scrapped plans to deliver a long-awaited speech on Britain’s future in the European Union because of the Algerian hostage crisis and has decided to postpone it until 2018 instead.

    Downing Street indicated that the Prime Minister would deliver his speech – in which he planned to warn that Britain could “drift towards the exit” unless powers are handed back from the EU – in the summer of 2018 when hopefully everyone will have forgotten he ever promised he was going to make it and he wouldn’t still be Prime Minister any more in any case.

    In the speech, Cameron had been set to announce a timetable to renegotiate with his fellow European leaders a timetable for a possible referendum on a timetable for the renegotiation of Britain’s membership of the EU – a timetable for which the Prime Minister has yet to negotiate.

  21. 21
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Are you by any chance a pilot with an instrument rating? If so, please make sure you are solo whenever you fly in poor visibility.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    RVR and Minima, old boy.

  23. 23
    Jon Snow says:

    My bus pass is my best friend. Sometimes I even show it live on C4 News, you know for our famous bus pass routine.

  24. 24
    Leave it Dave. Just Leave it FFS!!! says:

    Or you could just let the government of Algeria to get on with it without military interference Dave.

    Remember the Labour government saying they could defeat the Taliban without firing a shot?

  25. 25
    Captain Posh Voice says:

    Sorry for the delay, but I’ve just bought a big mac bargain.

  26. 26
    EU Watch says:

    Probably not the UK in this case.

    This is the same b/s Blair put forward, it should be noted.

    Other fun facts about Algeria – EU relations: Algeria is one of the key sources of exotic prostitutes for France / Switzerland and Belgium.

  27. 27
    Any old Excuse says:

    So is Dave now going to postpone his next speech because he needs to take charge of Scotch Avalanches?

  28. 28
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Labour speak, labour lie.

  29. 29
    EU Watch says:

    So this looks like an attempt now to forge a deeper European Union based on unity in war and battle against a faux enemy ?

    They are getting desperate now, aren’t they ?

    Perhaps best to have that referendum before more people die for no just reason.

  30. 30
    Herman the Sherman says:

    Well that’s sorted then Herman. The gunmen must be quaking in their desert sandals after reading your Tweet.

  31. 31
    US Watch says:

    And the BBC will probably not be letting UK folk know what the US position on Falklands is.

    Sentiment along lines of: 9000 miles away, colonialism is a thing of the past… get the drift ?

    Look it up schmucks – Obama is not your friend.

  32. 32
    albacore says:

    Dave’s relationship with backbenchers?
    That flea circus of buttock-clenchers?
    Don’t they get enough sweeties and expenses
    To kill any surviving Tory senses?

  33. 33
    A person who doesn't believe Cameron's lies says:


  34. 34
    P l e b says:

    Why is Algeria ‘#Algeria’ now?

  35. 35
    P l e b says:

    Ryanair would have their planes flying 50 yards apart, on account of the fuel savings through ‘tailgating’.

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    t[he bootom. have we reached it yet? The only way is up.]

    alternative. 9 nested russian dolls, like 9 mnths of pregnancy.
    is there a new birth yet? Here the child will go downwards towards birth.

    strange but true…the act of creation the moment of joy is downwards. but god is up there. How dual. acceptance or how duel?

  37. 37
    P l e b says:

    Foxy? Werrity?

  38. 38
    P l e b says:

    Why is it that as soon as there’s a bit of trouble in some far-flung part of the world, we have to stick our noses in?

  39. 39
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    What about a Ryanair jet towing a glider full of people. Well Michael O’leary you’ve not thought of that one.

  40. 40
    P l e b says:

    Daily Star? There’s more news in the Morning Star.

  41. 41
    Boeing says:

    Cheap Dreamliners, anyone?

  42. 42
    Jersey Boys says:

    Don’t search youtube for “Michael Shrimpton Exposes Ted Heath.”

    It’s verboten!

    It’s all lies anyway.

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    You are obviously not from the LBGT or black communities!

    Have you thought about committing a crime in order to gain access to more benefits?

  44. 44
    Dave's Euro Vision says:

    Why is Dave taking Britain ever deeper into a Euro Defence force?

    Laying down’s one life for Queen and country can be considered a noble thing. But dying for Herman and the Euro Technocrats?

    FFS the British Isles aren’t even in Europe.

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    A single mother from Lithuania who lives a life of luxury at the expense of Britain’s taxpayers takes home more than £1,000 a month in handouts which funds her love of designer clothes and holidays.

    Natalija Belova, 33, said she was shocked at how much she would be entitled to from the State after she moved here four years ago and fell pregnant.

    Her handouts total £279 a week which includes housing benefit, child tax credit and child benefit.

    She also is allowed to earn £125 a week from a job on the side but she is mindful not to work more than 16 hours a week so her benefits continue to roll in boosting her weekly income to £400.

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2265341/Theres-chance-leaving-British-benefits-daughter-good-life-Migrant-enjoys-lavish-lifestyle-raking-1-000-month-benefits.html#ixzz2IWSW2F79
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

  46. 46
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Dave did not want to cancel his speech because it would look like he was following the islamists’ agenda having earlier changed the date to avoid upsetting a Franco German jolly.

    Then he decided to postpone the speech at the same time failing to fix a future date .

    He expresses indignation that the Algerians did not give him advance notice of their attack although what he would have done if he had known remains a mystery. Seven days before he had shied away from putting British boots on the ground .

    So important was the crisis that a Cobra Meeting on Saturday was chaired by Hague.

    Sunday morning Dave decides to issue a statement saying that he spoke to the Algerian Prime Minister last night . He decided to wait before saying anything to the people .

    I know in life things rarely go to plan but to hear this morning that Liam Fox might be making a comeback is really worrying .

  47. 47
    Katty Kay, BBC World News DC Reporter says:

    You’re just jealous ‘coz you weren’t invited to any Inaugural Balls. I’m best mates with Claire Shipman of ABC News Good Morning America, whose hubby is the Press Spokesman for the White House, and I’ve got my choice of the best ones.

  48. 48
    Observer says:

    Herman’s made a hash of it.

  49. 49

    Sir. I am a non-T[he]ist!

  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

    cyclical…the act of labour is to produce a tory.
    to move to a higher place society turns to labour….in order to produce a higher achieving Tory. what ties the two is the heart. The pulse. The i.m.pulse behind it all.

  51. 51

    Some far-off land of which we know little.

  52. 52
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Meanwhile over on page 37 of the MOS James Forsyth writes further of that speech. Just a little quote the subject matter of which was mentioned on this blog earlier this week ” … Finding a venue isn’t any easier. I’m told the speech is meant to be delivered abroad’. …”

    Why so – out of this jurisdiction was what was posited on this blog earlier in the week?

    Hat tip to ones self – if I don’t mind.

  53. 53
    Tailgaiter says:

    The safest way of driving on the motorway is with the front of your Audi, BMW or Chelsea Tractor just touching the back of the vehicle in front. If that vehicle hits something, it’s crumple zone absorbs all your car’s energy as well.

  54. 54

    Dateline 20 January 2025

    The Islamo-Western War has been raging for ten years now since the end of the Sahel War. The death toll to date is 35 million Muslims, 27 million Europeans and one million Americans.

    The caliphate has been restored to Spain and eastern France as are all points south of the Danube and east of Prague. Britain has been ruled by The Muslim Brotherhood for six years and Qur’anic law is now the only recognised code and is strictly upheld.

    All baby girls are circumcised by the age of two months. Stonings are held in Hyde Park every morning at nine. Amputations are performed in what was the Ballroom of Buckingham Palace at noon. Lloyds Sharia is the only bank allowed to trade. But this is just the start and further plans include…

  55. 55
    MoD Wankers R Us says:

    Don’t worry guys, you can always come and get a gold plated sinecure with us. We really value experience of achieving years late delivery, catching fire, permanently grounded, and 1000% over budget.

  56. 56
    Emperor Broon says:

    I can hit a Talibanny between the eyes with my Nokia at 100 yards.

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:

    …and 9/11 was discovered to be an inside job.

  58. 58
    Greychatter says:

    The BBBC biased?

    Nigel Farage and William Hague on the Andrew Marr show without a Milliband or a lot of Balls!!

    Something must be changing.

  59. 59
    Literary Agent says:

    Sorry, but this is, almost word for word, the plot of “Oh! Mr Bumblefoot” (1863), a comic novel by one of the forgotten Bronte sisters, Whanika.

  60. 60
    Greychatter says:

    The BBC biased?

    With Nigel Farage and William Hague on the Andrew Marr Show this morning.

    Something must be changing.

  61. 61
    I got a friend? says:

    I just got a French cartoon from a mate who lives there showing a Dreamliner with the word ‘Dream’ painted out and replaced with ‘nightmare’.

  62. 62
    Dave and his thin lipped pursed smile says:

    What Algeria needs is more foreign aid, I will send them millions because it iis the right thing to do.

  63. 63
    Innocent face says:

    Al Geria? Is he related to Al Gore?

  64. 64
    SamCam says:

    You lot think you have it bad,I have to live with the loon, answer to get off my tits on charlie

  65. 65
    Brainwaves come thick round here says:

    Good idea. They can keep it on deposit in the bank until the oil and gas run out in about 2000 years time

  66. 66
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Is it all part of the American Dream?

  67. 67
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Are they related to Pooh La Bear of ancient myths?

  68. 68
    Blowing Whistles says:

    And Lloyds Sharia is secretly secretly owned by some nameless nominees of the Nastywest Beth Dinboys.

  69. 69
    Blowing Whistles says:

    SC – I will trump your ‘blind spot’ every time.

  70. 70
    P l e b says:

    Nope. White straight and a forty+ years taxpayer. You know, the ones DC said were deserving.

    Tax as in big chunks in a former profession.

  71. 71
  72. 72

    No doubt the BBC will be flying into Washington Dimblebum,Tffy Huw and Uncle Tom Cobley to cover this nonsense it has no meaning foor us as one contributor has asked what is the US position on the Falklands? it wont be favourable to us.

  73. 73
    Dave says:

    10 million immigrants can’t be wrong!

  74. 74
    Blowing Whistles says:

    There’s an old Judge down Plymouth way who also liked his sailing trips over to Jersey – which explains many of his truth upsides-down inside-out judgments for many years.

  75. 75
    Blowing Whistles says:

    My mistake over on the other blog 2day – SC repeated his piece.

  76. 76
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Whatever happened to Martin Sixsmith?

  77. 77
    MB. says:

    I bet there are a few people at Airbus having a quiet chuckle at Boeing’s problems, I am sure I remember various accusations coming from Boeing when Airbus had a few problems themselves.

  78. 78
    Yvonne from the Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    If I own a share and it fails to pay a dividend or reduces its dividend my Dad taught me to sell without a moments hesitation and have nothing to do with it in the future .

    He most certainly never told me to buy up 70 per cent of the stock .

  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    What do you want him to say, people have been killed ffs !

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:

    I would ask to see the benefits advisor at the Hospital as that doesnt seem right, unless your income or assets are too high to qualfiy.

  81. 81
    Anonymous says:

    I think it has dawned on the beeb that Milliband, Balls and co are a bl**dy embarassment and they are keeping them away !

  82. 82
    Anonymous says:

    Can you imagine the whingeing if the gas workers had been through the kidnapping without comment from Dave ? nobody is saying we should invade North Africa.

  83. 83
    Anonnymouse says:

    For a comment on Schrodingers Cat posting

    Dateline 20 Jan 2025

    Winston Churchill had an insight in an 1899 speech. See The River War” Vol II pages 248-250.

  84. 84
    Anchor says:

    If his promise is like tha last one he made about a referendum, then kiss it farewell – even in the unlikely event that he wins the next election: whic is probably why he timed it that way: he will not have to be accountable. But even if he were, the Lisbon Treaty says that he can only negotiate changes if he has said that he intends to leave thewhole rotten bag of ordure.

    And old Sainsbury has given me a firm reason never to use his gorcer’s shop again.

Media Reader

Page 3 and the Art of the Self-Pity Statement | Guardian
Here is What a 7 Way Debate Sounds Like | BBC
Poll: Sun Readers Want Page 3 to Stay | Business Insider
The Sun: An Apology | Press Gazette
More Women Prosecuted For Telly Tax | Mail
Je Suis Page 3 | Toby Young
Page 3 Website Enjoys Huge Surge in Traffic | Media Guardian
No One Was Ever Forced to Read Page 3 | Will Walter
Why is Roy Greenslade Doing Labour’s Dirty Work? | Peter Oborne
Today’s Actual Sun Page 3 | Media Guido
Has the Sun Scrapped Page 3? | Guardian

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

IMF chief Christine Lagarde says Saudi King Abdullah was strong advocate of women “in a very discreet way”.

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers