January 18th, 2013

What Cameron Would Have Said in Amsterdam

Guido has collated the different parts of the speech briefed to different journalists to give a precis of what Dave would have said in Amsterdam:

“I want to speak to you today with urgency and frankness about the European Union and how it must change – both to deliver prosperity and to retain the support of its peoples. I come here as British Prime Minister with a positive vision for the future of the European Union. A future in which Britain wants, and should want, to play a committed and active part.

Why raise fundamental questions about the future of Europe when Europe is already in the midst of a deep crisis? Why raise questions about Britain’s role when support in Britain is already so thin? There are always voices saying don’t ask the difficult questions. But it’s essential for Europe – and for Britain – that we do because there are three major challenges confronting us today.

First, the problems in the Eurozone are driving fundamental change in Europe. Second, there is a crisis of European competitiveness, as other nations across the world soar ahead. And third, there is a gap between the EU and its citizens which has grown dramatically in recent years and which represents a lack of democratic accountability and consent that is – yes – felt particularly acutely in Britain.

If we don’t address these challenges, the danger is that Europe will fail and the British people will drift towards the exit. I do not want that to happen. I want the European Union to be a success and I want a relationship between Britain and the EU that keeps us in it. That is why I am here today: To acknowledge the nature of the challenges we face. To set out how I believe the European Union should respond to them. And to explain what I want to achieve for Britain and its place within the European Union.

If we don’t address these challenges, the danger is that Europe will fail and the British people will drift towards the exit. There is a growing frustration that the EU is seen as something that is done to people rather than acting on their behalf. And this is being intensified by the very solutions required to resolve the economic problems. People are increasingly frustrated that decisions taken further and further away from them mean their living standards are slashed through enforced austerity or their taxes are used to bail out governments on the other side of the continent.

My point is this. More of the same will not secure a long-term future for the eurozone. More of the same will not see the European Union keeping pace with the new powerhouse economies. More of the same will not bring the European Union any closer to its citizens. More of the same will just produce more of the same – less competitiveness, less growth, fewer jobs. And that will make our countries weaker, not stronger.”

Channelling the voice of John Major…


  1. 1
    some geezer says:

    yes … and so what? four fingers and a thumb?


    • 5
      Putr1d Labour ruined my Country says:

      The eu empire needs to be broken up now before the terror starts.


      • 32
        Anonymous says:

        When happens if you shows Cameron the exit door?

        One cannot be part of a family without giving as well. One cannot be in a family if one is always on the take. If more and more wants to behave life UK and only wants the advantages for themselves EU cannot function.

        If UK wants to be part of EU and be in the table it should integrate more within UK. If it cannot it should leave EU.

        Only viable choice is in or out.


        • 50
          Four-eyed English Genius says:

          En Anglais, s’il vous plait!

          Actually, the only viable choice is out, right now!


          • Anonymous says:

            I might agree with you on “out”. But people should vote for it.

            If UK is going to have a vote it should be done asap. Otherwise it will affect business investment decisions, as business will not be able to decide which part of UK economy they should invest. For some parts of the UK economy its grate for UK to be in EU for others its grate if UK is out. So have a vote asap.


          • Vote UKIP says:

            More of the same Liblabcon policies will not sort out Britarn’s problems. No wonder he is so shit scared of UKIP he wants the third party in Britain to be excluded from TV debates.


          • We don’t have to vote on ‘out’ as we never voted on if we wanted to be ‘in’ in the EU in the first place.

            You can’t be tricked into joining a club and then stopped from leaving.

            Just walk out the door.


        • 98
          R Swiper says:



          • Let’s see:

            Rule by Unelected, Unrepresentative, Corrupt, UK-Hating Eurovision Diktators. Plus total economic wipeout.


            Parliamentary Democracy. And freedom.

            I can totally see why Cameron is struggling with this one.


        • 167
          lojolondon says:

          What if we pay far more than our share, our fishermen, farmers, manufacturers, service industry and all government departments are damaged by stupid motherhood laws, and we are aware we are hated and despised by the Europeans, so we want to leave, but are not being allowed to by our politicians who are clinging to the bigger salaries of a possible future job in the hapless EU?

          Then we want a referendum, as we have been promised for the last 10 years.

          Vote UKIP.


      • 48
        Sans Culottes says:

        It already has


    • 29
      Dave says:

      ‘Allah Akbar!”

      Phew that was close.


      • 90
        I Remember You Hoo says:

        I see the tosser Cameron conflates the EU with Europe. Can he really be THAT stupid?


        • 113
          Graham Watson MEP and Fuckwit Extraordinaire says:

          Where is Cameron. Running from Al Quaeda


        • 116
          restore the monasteries says:

          Had we not been so wedded to europe,and distracted by everything
          EU related,we may,as a proud ,independent,OUTWARD looking country
          have formed our own relations with the whole of Africa,particularly the northern countries’ of Africa….As a puppet of the EU and America this has not
          been possible and now we have to play catchup.Crazy……,


        • 135
          Denial_a_river_in_Islington says:

          You should know…….


        • 149
          the twat says:

          He says Britain instead of United Kingdom too


    • 158
      M says:

      What is actually the main worry is that the peoplle of the EU may properly wake up to how they are being fleeced & that’ll be the end of their fat EU gravy train


    • 165
      Anonymous says:

      What he should say is this


  2. 2
    Owen Jones says:

    I’ve never read so much bullshit in my life.

    David Cameron is not fit for purpose.


  3. 3
    Mad Hattie says:

    Not a word about unaccountability, fraud, corruption, troughing, profligate waste?

    Nah. Thought not.


  4. 4
    Executive Summary says:

    I am a c.unt


  5. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Funniest thing on telly last night was BBC political editor Nick Robinson all on his lonesome in Amsterdam, while the real story was unfolding in….Algeria.


  6. 8
    Losers lost, Leaders we don't have says:

    We all know what Camoron would have said, it’s easy, it will be yes mr Rumpy Pumpy , no mr Rumpy Pumpy, how high sir, can I lick your boots sir, I’ll just bend over and go as far as you like, no sir the country is with me on this one, me sir arse licking no sir, cup of coffee sir.


    • 88
      WoRaft says:

      Now we won’t get a historic photo of David Cameron on all fours, done up in bondage gear with a glass coffee table-top on his back and Baroness Ashton with her feet up on it.


  7. 9
    The British public says:

    We won’t “drift” towards the exit.
    Give us our in/out referendum and it’ll be a stampede.


  8. 11
    • 16
      Anonymous says:

      Here we go again.
      Twatson has an unhealthy obsession with paedophilia.


      • 73
        Operation #Fernbridge says:

        So did this fella.

        Presumably he was on the Elm House list of visitors in a professional capacity.
        I remember him as a BBC ” expert” on sex crimes.


  9. 13
    Lou Scannon says:

    The EU is a parasite that is sucking the life out of Europe.


  10. 14
    Snow time says:

    Who cares what he says , it will be the same garbage as he always says, he lies to the country and does what he’s told by the EU, no change until 2015.


    • 83
      David B says:

      Just no change! If we throw Cameron out it will be the two Ed’s with a Dave in the background, telling Merkel to print more money!!


  11. 17
    GPS says:

    To show there are no hard feelings can someone get Mark Thatcher to show them the way home?


    • 103
      JH43646756745 says:

      I would have thought an ex-burlesque dancer would know her way around the place by now.


      • 136
        Haribo Halfwit says:

        Two ‘leading leftwing commentators’ and neither one can use the maps on their mobile phone. #WinningHere


  12. 18
    Tiny Tom says:

    The only way is UKIP. You know it makes sense.


  13. 19
    SP4BS says:

    Thats no use.

    I’d remind you that one big plank of M. Hollande’s election was decidedly anti-european, but they’re all so detatched from the electorate and the truth that they didn’t realise it.


  14. 20
    Tax is theft says:

    Deeds not words.


  15. 21
    Emperor von Rumpoy says:

    Dave’s my little puppet. I’ll tell him what to say.

    The CIA fixed harold Wilson’s British referendum on the EEC in 1975.
    Obama can certainly fix anything the Brits come up with now.

    Maggie Thatcher was the last Prime Minister to disobey and look what happened to her.


    • 111
      Must get a pseudonym one day says:

      The CIA first fixed Heath to take us in to begin with.

      They knew about his ‘preferences’ and he knew that they knew…..


  16. 23
    Con Artists says:

    Get rid of him before he destroys our country. Spineless troughing idiot.

    Nothing about CAP, fisheries, unaudited accounts, budget increases vs real decreases or the fundamental fact we simply don’t believe in political or monetary union….


    • 26
      hank the cat says:

      Who will think of the gay Romanians


      • 37
        Not a BBC spokesperson says:

        That will be us – on the license money of course.
        Thank you.


        • 75
          The British Public says:

          And we will pay for their houses, schools, healthcare, pensions, eyesight tests, dentristy, free disabled cars, council tax, beer, fags, travelcard, food, children, extended family, wife’s and cousins –

          And all with increased taxs on the PAYE working public only….

          Big business gets off scott free with double tax treatys and offshore shell co’s and accounting trickery and rock bottom wages from all these loverley cheap immigrants –

          Wake up liebor voters… Your no more equal than the next immigrant

          Vote ukip.


  17. 24
    Call me Dave says:

    What the EU needs is a big infrastructure project, so I will be recommending that the EU empire start on a death star. That will show Obama


    • 140
      Haribo Halfwit says:

      .. and then mint a trillion-euro coin or three. That should fix everything (and create some work for bond dealers).


    • 141
      Magic mushrooms says:

      I am beggining to see everything connected to Europe as grey,and,
      release from Europe as “bright and colourful”…..
      Ah yes,sunny uplands,freedom,yes, i can smell it!!!


  18. 25
    Yawn! says:

    would that be the same John ‘more peas Norma’ who decided to award him and all the other failed PM’s a nice little bonus for life aka Ex PM’s Expenses? Hmmmm not so grey and cabbage looking after all?


  19. 27
    gramma says:

    Cotton wool fist in a velvet glove.
    Could not be further away from ” Speak softly and carry a big stick”.


  20. 30
    WAX BACK and CRACK says:

    Breaking news ! Highways agency has 500 gritters on standby

    Note to Highways agency , To late you can’t grit on top of snow


    • 39
      HighWay Agency says:

      What snow?


      • 58
        Fishy says:

        That’s a bit like the weather man on Five live last night. Having said that snow would be on the way overnight, he was told that listeners had been tweeting, for hours, saying it was already snowing.

        ‘Oh’ he said. The surprise in his voice didn’t fill the listener with conference that we were getting great value for money from the Met Office.


        • 81
          Sane Person says:

          And the ‘expert’ on the BBC this morning saying how anti lock brakes are so helpful in snow. Which is total garbage and just leads people into a false sense of security. Their antilock systems to not work on snow, they are designed for the wet.


          • Another Engineer says:

            Yes, anti-lock brakes are a hazard in the snow.

            Without them you can deliberately lock the brakes to build up a ridge of snow in front of the tyres to slow you down, provided you are going in a straight line of course. If you don’t want to lock the brakes then you can cadence brake or apply them very slowly.

            With over sensitive ABS, they can refuse to work at all.

            Oh, and rear wheel drive cars with low profile tyres – stay off the road please.


          • I Remember You Hoo says:

            Snowfalls are just a thing of the past.

            Global warming, the heating of the atmosphere by increased amounts of industrial gases, is now accepted as a reality by the international community….However, the warming is so far manifesting itself more in winters which are less cold than in much hotter summers.

            According to Dr David Viner, a senior research scientist at the climatic research unit (CRU) of the University of East Anglia,within a few years winter snowfall will become “a very rare and exciting event”.

            The Independent 20th March 2000.


  21. 31
    Vote UKIP says:

    Cameron is weak. End of. He has as much strength as his hair dye.


    • 63
      Lou Scannon says:

      Hair to dye, gone tomorrow.


    • 104
      Lefties are retarded says:

      And you think UCRAP & Leiber are the answer? HOW many leftie window lickers do we have to have on this blog before Guido finally puts a ‘D’ notice on them.

      What a bunch of leftie arseh*les.


      • 108
        I Remember You Hoo says:

        UKIP are gaining, Fabian ‘progressive’ Dave is crapping, his cock monkey says boo, but nobody is scared anymore, good.


        • 150
          Lefties are retarded says:

          If that’s the best you can do 106, then you have proved my point.

          Sod off back to la-la land.


  22. 34
    Con Artists says:

    Is that near Londonistan ?


  23. 38

    We can’t leave any way, Obama said so.


  24. 40
    albacore says:

    So all Dave wants is not MORE of the same
    What about cleaning up the current game?
    It’s about as bent as nine-bob note
    Still, there’s no way he’ll put it to a vote


  25. 41
    Steve says:

    Is that really his speech?

    I am livid – all that hype.

    Another UKIP member has just been made – I am joining today.


  26. 42

    While the southern European states suffer eh, what do I car?, unemployment is a price well worth paying to save the Euro and my gold plated EU pension.


  27. 43
    fuck the EU says:

    Dithering Dave runs away from the people on orders from Obama.


  28. 44
    Angela Van Rumpy Bonaparte IV says:

    British Prime Ministers should make thjier speaches in Britain in front of British audiences. Hiding away in Amsterdam was a stupid idea.


  29. 45
    What concerns Dave says:


  30. 46
    Nick Clegg says:

    At least with me you know where you stand.


  31. 51
    The Blue Oracle says:

    Calm down tunnel visioned loonies. Brexit is inevitable.


  32. 54

    The rich political elite both here and in Europe are well insulated by their sheer wealth from the on the ground effects of their EU decisions. How many of them use the NHS any way and are denied an appointment with their GP because their GP is too busy treating the latest influx of immigrants from the Eastern European states?

    How many of them live in the areas badly affected by mass immigration?

    Do as they tell you, not as they do. Greed and corruption on the same scale that Cromwell tried so hard to eradicate.


  33. 57
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Seen elsewhere.

    ‘The Germans don’t trust Obama with their gold – and can you blame them?’

    Brown had no such problem….he just gave it away.

    FACT:- There is only about 170,000 tons of gold in the world, enough to fill 2 Olympic sized swimming pools.

    Gordon kept a cup full.


  34. 59
  35. 60
    himindoors says:

    The king of bustedflushmanship


  36. 61
    Anonymous says:

    Vote Liblabcon for total surrender to the EU.

    Don’t moan, after all, it’s your votes that put them in power so they could give away our Parliaments sovereign powers.


  37. 69
    Anonymous says:

    The Europhiles said it was in our interest to join the Euro and even Labour have only ruled out joining for the lifetime of the next Parliament.

    You know, even despite what Cameron says or does with the EU, that the end destination, without ever being able to leave, is a united states of europe. No matter what. Other European states see this as their destination, it is inevitable.No one can stop it. The Germans are the winners already, with the Deutsch mark already masquerading as the Euro,


  38. 71
    Mad Frankie Maude says:

    Rotheram council have ordered thousands gallons of food colouring after council officials have said the snow that is falling is to white, and this might upset its ethnic minorities, council workers have been took off gritting and been told to add food colouring as soon as the snow settles.


  39. 72
    ********* says:


  40. 74
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Vote, Democracy, Referendum, Exit are these the missing words/


  41. 76
    Raving Loon says:

    “I want a relationship between Britain and the EU that keeps us in it.”

    Sorry Dave, no thanks.

    Vote UKIP.


  42. 84
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:


    What we need is a Thatcher

    What we’ve got is a Camera On


  43. 89
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    This was what Milibean had to say: ‘I don’t think the contested ground in this . . . is the need for change, the contested ground is how do we change it.’


    Read Littlejohn…brilliant.

    Ed picks up the English language where Prescott left off.


  44. 92
    Vote UKIP says:

    If Cameron carries on like this the Conservatives will implode. In fact they are already imploding. The difference is he will put the Cons Party into terminal decline. Tragic, unnecessary, avoidable. But these guys who have never worked and are professional politicians are totally out of touch.


  45. 93
    David B says:

    Good words, but we need deeds and we need them quickly.

    A good start would be a commitment to pass a referendum bill in this parliament which will call for an in/out referendum by a fixed date if the renegotiations have not progressed. This gives a back stop date to ensure the renegotiation cannot drag on forever but will also provide Dave with a big poll boost and the public with a degree of security that we will eventually be asked our opinion.

    Our biggest fear should be that the next government will ensure no referendum is every put to the public. Let’s face it, on the current polling, MillE will be the next PM and one thing that is certain from his car crash on yesterday’s Today Program is that he will do everything to ensure no referendum because he does not trust us to get the right answer!


    • 144
      I Remember You Hoo says:

      It would appear you do not understand how any renegotiation with the EU can proceed.

      First of all, before any renegotiation, Cameron would have to invoke Article 50 of the Lisbon treaty, ie: our intention to leave. There is no other mechanism within any of the EU treaties for renegotiating any EU directive, law or legal imposition.

      As Cameron would never invoke Article 50, any percieved negotiation / renegotiation or meeting would be a worthless waste of time, utterly futile and worse still, cynically dishonest.


  46. 95
    Vote UKIP says:

    Dave knows that the people will not accept the status quo in Europe and will vote in their droves for UKIP unless he acts, ensuring the Tories will fail badly at the next election. Yet he does not want Britain to leave the Euro. So what to do? Come up with some fudge that will make it appear as if Britain has gained some real benefits from the rest of the EU. Just as Blair/Brown did when they surrendered much of Thatcher’s hard won rebate. Remember those red lines that turned out to be meaningless?

    You can’t trust Labour over Europe. You can’t trust the Tories over Europe. You can’t trust the Lib Dems over Europe.

    You can trust UKIP over Europe. They are the only party with any consistent
    policy on Europe.

    And if you can’t trust the Liblabconners on Europe how can you trust them with the economy or anything else?


  47. 96
    Poor Politician says:

    What a complete idiot, who on earth but those screwing everything and getting rich from this corruct organisation and of course the “stupid” wants to stay in this crazy block. We need to come out and do what we British can do best ” TRADE” and trade who we want to. We are at a trading deficit with the EU and they need us and our business so the threats are weak and untrue. It is about time that Politicians listened to the people who pay thier salaries. We are being pushed into building hundred’s of thousands of Houses, but for who ? we know that the indigenous people of Britain are not producing so many children and the call is for family homes, we know that these houses are being built for foreign families under the directive of the EU, we are already overcrowded and we know that Labour with Dave’s help wants to change the demographics of this Country. Being pushed by the EU are not our Politicians not committing “Genocide” against the British People and if so is this not illegal under International Law ?


  48. 101
    Gordon Brown says:

    i need to eat more bran so I can finish writing my poo name in the snow


  49. 102
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Gross domestic product (GDP) in China’s economy only expanded 7.8pc last year in the face of weakness at home and in key overseas markets, the National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) announced on Friday.

    Only 7.8%. Lazy bug gers


  50. 106
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    Jordan makes more sense than Red Ed…

    KATIE Price told last night how she secretly married hubby No3 — on the advice of a PSYCHIC.
    The 34-year-old model wed Kieran Hayler, 25, on a sun-kissed Bahamas beach.

    She said: “A medium said the man I’d marry was called Kevin. Kieran’s name is close to Kevin and it all became clear.”


  51. 109
    Proud Daddy says:

    British Economy in safe hands.

    WHAT could be more British than Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie driving a Mini with a Union Flag paint job and the words Great Britain across the windscreen?
    Not much, you might think – but for the fact that the Mini marque has been owned by German firm BMW since the turn of the century.


  52. 112
    Airey Belvoir says:

    The latest weasel political word is ‘drifting’ as in ‘drifting towards the exit’. We should in fact be marching confidently towards and through the ‘exit’ and planning for a brighter economic and socially stable future thereafter.


  53. 117
  54. 120
    Fog says:

    A very good speech but it will fall on deaf ears. We need more than words.

    “There is a growing frustration that the EU is seen as something that is done to people rather than acting on their behalf.”

    The P.M. may also like to note that in UK we feel the same way not only about the EU but about local councils, district councils, police, parliament, judiciary…


  55. 125
    Insurance companies are C*nts says:

    Insured my two vans last week Cost £11,00
    for the first time i had to put the wife on the policy as it made it cheaper ,yesterday i noticed she had an SP 30 on her license that expired in 2009 but because insurers state 5 years i phoned them to explain
    To remove her from my policies (She has never driven them anyway)and leave me as sole driver
    to add the expired SP30 to the policy
    £172. 12p
    Fuckin Robbing Bastards


    • 127
      Insurance companies are C*nts says:

      Should read £1100 before all you would be comedians try to teach me the error of my ways
      Anyway , i’m not in the mood for humour


  56. 129
    Jen The Blue says:

    There is absolutely no chance of any meaningful concessions in any Cameron negotiations. So the choice is indeed, in and be governed by an appointed elite or out and govern ourselves.

    Labour’s idea of “stay in but reform the EU” is an absolute joke. Britain had been trying to do that since 1975 and has not only failed miserably, it has been dragged into every further integration.


  57. 130
    Job Centre Plus says:

    Who fancies a job working for his holyness Tony Bliar in Sierra Leone then?

    Don’t all rush at once!



  58. 132
    Eccles says:

    ” I speak to you today with urgency and frankness ”

    If you are going to speak to someone now you have to speak to them today.

    If you were to speak to them yesterday they would already know about it today.

    If you are going to speak to someone tomorrow you cannot tell them about it today because they will know about it tomorrow.

    Can I go to Oxford now ?


  59. 133
    (I don't need no doctor) says:

    Fantastic, Guido has now developed psychic powers.


  60. 148
    TGF UKIP says:

    In short, let’s close the Westminster Parliament and transfer all legislative responsibilty to the corrupt loonies of the EU Parliament


  61. 157
    Jimmy says:

    “I want to speak to you today with urgency”

    This should now read ““I want to speak to you on a date to be determined with urgency”


  62. 162
    Ex pat former higher rate tax payer says:

    “more of the same”


    “same old Tories”


  63. 163
    PC49½ says:

    That Cameron is a treacherous bastard.


  64. 166
    Jack the Ripper says:

    It’s about time Dave delivered his much-awaited speech. Can’t someone tell Obama to get off his backside and write it?


  65. 168
    keredybretsa says:

    The EU has driven a block between its administrators and its citizens. Now more or less an incompetent bureaucratic jungle costing its taxpaying citizens billions each crumbling year. So many nations, cultures and languages have been pushed into the EU straightjacket. There is danger ahead, the unemployed and soon unemployable youth and students may take to the streets. The influx of unemployed and unemployable largely uneducated peoples from outside the EU meet up in street riots and blood will flow across the EU capitals. A situation making Syria (for example) seem like a kindergarten. The EU of have and have nots, the latter wanting a share of the cake and the former fighting to retain what is theirs.


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