January 15th, 2013

Double Whammy


70 Comments

  1. 1
    F5 Key says:

    INCOMING ….

  2. 2
    Kebab Time says:

    The Jonah curse didnt work on Gore…..

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

  4. 4
    None of the above says:

    Isn’t Gore a waterproof material?

  5. 5
    . says:

    ALT CTL DEL

  6. 6
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    Two number ones eh?

  7. 7
    US Watch says:

    Hmm…

  8. 8
    Teflon Tony says:

    Yes

  9. 9
    Gordon Brown says:

    And thats just before I start to speak *nervous*

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    Government claims to have created an additional 500,000 jobs in the past year have been called into question after it was revealed that one in five of those people are not in proper employment, including tens of thousands still claiming unemployment benefits.

    In the last few months the government has trumpeted “record high” employment and the net creation of half a million jobs over the past year.

    But figures obtained by the Guardian from the Office for National Statistics show that just over 20% of this total (105,000) concerns those on largely unpaid government back-to-work schemes, the majority of whom are still claiming jobseeker’s allowance.

    They include unpaid workers doing voluntary and mandatory work experience in supermarkets and charity shops.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2013/jan/15/statistics-doubt-coalition-500000-jobs

  11. 11
    Medic says:

    Just have some more of those little pills. They’ll boost your confidence like they did last time, made you into a Real Nokia Thrower.

  12. 12
  13. 13
    Slave Labour says:

    Do the figures include the unpaid interns at the Guardian?

  14. 14
    Gastroenterologist says:

    And thenceforth faecal vomiting

  15. 15
    Lord Lupin says:

    OMG! Which town?

  16. 16
    Raving Loon says:

    Gordon Brown was bound to return to the closet at some point.

  17. 17
    That is all says:

  18. 18
    south7eventh says:

    Goretex, the waterproof material, was invented by Lesley Gore’s father. If you do not remember her she was an American pop star of the early 1960’s, ‘It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to’ and so on.

    Al Gore invented the internet.

    Gordon the Moron saved the world

  19. 19

    Which one oils the other one up. I don’t understand.

    In fact, forget that. I don’t want to understand.

    Sent from my iPig

  20. 20

    And labour would have done it differently how?

  21. 21
    Unemployed and skint in Birtley Colliery says:

    Not many people work in Wales. Of those who do only one in sixteen pay higher rate tax.

    What are you up to Mr Cameron ?

  22. 22
    Matador says:

    Depends

  23. 23
    Chris Bryant says:

    I easily pay 40% tax and I live in Wales

  24. 24
    CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

    Cheaper than box ticking non-jobs that Grodo and PhoneyT managed to “create” at our childrens’s expense.

  25. 25
    Anonymous says:

    Will be all unpaid interns even once in conservative party, labour party, LD, etc.

    Soon even unemployed parents dropping their own kids to school. Cameron will say we are living in a paradise where everyone is employed, in the same time unemployment benefits will be going up and up.

  26. 26
    Can you imagine says:

    Gordon “Wears the soap?”
    Al “It does doesn’t it”

  27. 27
    Gore Watch says:

    This is more about Gas than Oil… given the recent sale of ChannelTV and all that + makes for a good pun on the ‘green’ issues.

  28. 28
    Can you imagine says:

    where’s DOH

  29. 29
    Al Gore wants us to stop ManBearPig says:

  30. 30
    Mark Sirwatca says:

    and me

  31. 31
    Sir William says:

    Only 395,000 new jobs, then.

    Even better, there is a steady rise in the number of self-employed.

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    I don’t know how Labour counted employment and unemployment in the 13 years it was in power. But there were much more full time equalent jobs even in May 2010 than now.

  33. 33
    Ex-Conservative voter says:

    Unemployment will certainly go up as from Jan 1st 2014, when Camoron lets 300,000+ Romanian/Bulgarian immigrants into the UK, because his beloved EU said so.

    When Labour did this, at least they could argue – unconvincingly – that they didn’t know what was going to happen. What pathetic mealy-mouthed excuse will Camoron make? A year before he and his pathetic Party seeks re-election.

  34. 34
    David Letterman says:

    The last time the French asked for ‘more proof,’ it came marching into Paris under a German flag

  35. 35
    Hair Bear says:

    Brown should try wear a baboon bottom helmet to protect him from the rays coming from planet Fuctard

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    Its not cheaper, as government debt is increasing at a faster rate now than it went under last labour government.

    This doesn’t mean I am supporting last labour government for wasting money.

  37. 37
  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    Ex-Conservative voter, you have missed a zero. Expectation over 3,000,000 arrivals.

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

  40. 40

    How about hiding them as disabled for one.

  41. 41
    Anonymous says:

    395,000 mainly part time job and low paid job. Someone I know who was a senior manager in private sector is delivering pizza for the last two years.

  42. 42
    Common Purpose for Muzzies ? says:

    This looks like a good idea, but do not see it working:

    http://www.femyso.org/events/2011/EMYC

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    What’s happening with that huhne Huhne? Is he going to escape justice just like that other huhne Hoon?

  44. 44
    Sir William says:

    Humankind has not seen a greater partnership of wisdom and judgement since Vern and Lloyd bet each other who could hold a lighted stick of dynamite the longest.

  45. 45
    Jon Snow says:

    I just love my bus pass, in fact I can’t use it enough.

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Same thing would be still going on. Between the age of 18 – 65, population is 38 million, 29 million are employed, 2 million are unemployed.

    Are we saying 7 million are students and disable?

    True fig is over 6,000,000 are unemployed in UK. On top there are another 4 million plus who wants full time jobs but cannot get one.

  47. 47
    Migration Watch says:

    Well, based on the Polish experience, then the actual will be 3 to 4 times the expected…therefore approx 9 to 12 million.

  48. 48
    Scott Free says:

    not sure

  49. 49
  50. 50
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    What do you expect from Dissembling Dave and his goons? Surely no one actually believed that 500,000 jobs had been created in the private sector in one year?

  51. 51
    Nadine's Right Nipple says:

    The meter’s running

  52. 52
    Exponential Money Scam Graph says:

    He also invented the hockey stick as well!

  53. 53
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    Why is the media not reporting it?
    Has someone issued a D-Notice?

  54. 54
    Tom Pride says:

    The government have released an official list of who they regard as strivers – who need to be supported with pay rises – and skivers who need to be given a good kick up the arse with a large dose of austerity.

    Here’s the official list published in full:

    SKIVERS:

    unemployed
    sick
    disabled
    police officers
    teachers
    pensioners
    homeless
    single parents
    carers
    nurses
    firefighters
    cleaners
    accountants
    self-employed
    bakers
    barbers
    cashiers
    flight attendants
    hairdressers
    miners
    office workers
    chambermaids
    doctors
    drivers
    electricians
    builders
    butchers
    carpenters
    opticians
    painters
    photographers
    plumbers
    porters
    postal workers
    tailors
    technicians
    vets
    welders
    receptionists
    reporters
    sales assistants
    sales representatives
    scientists
    secretaries
    shop assistants
    surgeons
    waiters/waitresses

    STRIVERS:

    MPs
    banking executives

    .

    The coalition government’s just announced salary cuts for new police officers after giving a tax cut for top earning bankers and calling for a 32% payrise for MPs.

    Enough said.

  55. 55
    Robo Plod says:

    Maybe it’s related to Operation Fairbank…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Fairbank

  56. 56
    String the fuckers up says:

  57. 57
    Michael Buspasskinson says:

    I’ve Snown hundreds of interesting Jon’s.

  58. 58
    Ordinary Joe says:

    Why is the fucker being protected by the judiciary and media. It wouldn’t be the same for me if I was on trial for such a crime.

  59. 59

    Love it.

    Especially the cat…

    Sent from my iPig

  60. 60
    Lesley Gore says:

    Not quite, on that Lesley Gore part of the story.
    Don’t I wish my father had been that rich!
    The Gore-Tex Corp. can honestly say to this old gal, “You don’t own me.”
    Maybe I know, what you said is not true– but what can I do?
    (You made that part up, right?)
    That’s the way boys are!

  61. 61
    Jim Hacker the blagger says:

    Al Gore – the Dave Ic ke of US global climate change.

    And Brown? Haggis eater and fine single malt drinker, who I think supports Cowdenbeath FC, in footie.

  62. 62
    Anon leather apron says:

    “Its all in the handshake”

    nudge, nudge, wink wink…….

  63. 63
    Airey Belvoir says:

    It’s considerate of the French to plant those lines of poplars along their roads so that the Germans can march in the shade.

  64. 64
    Anon says:

    Just await until most major cities are on fire after the next major riots,

    with the old bill on the frontline…………..

    wonder what the response will be then from DDD !!

  65. 65
    T'old Fella says:


    To be fair he weathered it well

  66. 66
    Matilda (humming It Ain't My Party Any More) says:

    Must have used the wrong AlGorerhythm??

  67. 67
    La Belle Matilda says:

    Well club-footed French farmers have to have something to dri*ve into when they drop their Gitanes in their laps and lose control of their ancient deux chevauxes!

  68. 68
    Matilda says:

    Shutting UP would actually be preferable.

  69. 69
    Curly says:

    So if he gets done, he’ll be out in a couple of shakes??

    (The old ones are the best ones).

  70. 70
    Curly says:

    preferably by their balls..


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