January 14th, 2013

Downing Street’s Gay Valentine Surprise
Cameron Planning Al Capone Hit on Gay Marriage Opposition

It’s not just Cameron’s Europe speech that is going a bit Yes2AV; his gay marriage bill is in troubled waters too. Guido revealed in his Daily Star Sunday column that Cameron “lost the room” when backbench Tory MP Eleanor Laing blasted the plans and her naughty colleagues chatted away amongst themselves while the PM tried to explain his logic at a strategy briefing last Tuesday. Later in the week Fox got involved, but the trouble doesn’t stop there.

It is believed that Lord Strathclyde couldn’t face the prospect of forcing the issue through the Lords and “seasoned Westminster watchers who knew his replacement Lord Hill back in the ’80s are surprised he has been chosen to push the gay marriage Bill through the Lords, given his own rather traditional views.”

Labour could create a real stinker here, but troublemaking voices in the party are being drowned out:

“It’s not just Tories who are feeling queasy; lots of Catholic Labour MPs are trying to halt the Bill. Their plan to put an amendment down calling for a referendum on the issue has been met with short shrift by Ed Miliband’s people, despite the fact it would set the squabbling Tories bickering even more.”

The amendment would gain a lot of support from traditional Tories, but Guido hears that Downing Street have their own plan to avoid to large a fall out in the Commons…

Sources familiar with the planning say that the latest interventions have “seriously spooked” the government and No. 10 are pushing for the Bill to be published in the next fortnight; most likely on Thursday, January 24. The second reading is then pencilled in for the day that Parliament rises for the February Recess; Thursday, February 14. Apparently No. 10 are hoping “dozens of MPs will have left early to go to their constituencies.” Then again No.10 have never been very good at keeping secrets…


  1. 1
    Abu Fucking Qatada says:

    Still no Kebab

  2. 2
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    Al Copone or Al Capone?

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Whoever wrote this needs to take a step back and rethink their use of the semicolon.

  4. 4
    Angry Twitter Tranny says:

    Stuff gay marriage! When are Suzanne Moorre and Julie Burchill going to be put to death for what they said about the LBGTBAMEQRSTUVWXYZ community.


  5. 5
    Kebab Time's F5 Key says:

    I’m so happy!

  6. 6
    Bandit Dave says:

    Picture caption: “I said backs to the wall!”

  7. 7
    CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

    I think he doesn’t want a second term…

  8. 8
  9. 9
    Fat Piggy Pickles says:

    Canteens open.

  10. 10
    Sean Connery says:

    He pullsh a knife, you pull a gun. He shendsh one of yoursh to the hoshpital, you shend one of hish to the morgue. That’sh the Chicago way and that’sh how you’ll get the gay marriage bill through. But you’re shtill fucked in 2015. I can’t help you there. Shorry.

  11. 11
    David ich-bin-ein-Frankfurter Cameron says:

    I promised a referendum on the EU once but I think I got away with it.

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  12. 12
  13. 13
    Abu Fucking Qatada says:

    Mrs Q is off to Harrods again today and we’d just like to thank you all for paying the bill.

  14. 14
    East India Company Wallah says:

    Calm Down Dear

  15. 15
    STuN says:

    Password = cUBaNh33ldWarF

  16. 16
    Musings of The Man from Witney says:

    April 2010 was so full of promise……Where did it all go wrong ??

  17. 17
    old SHEP says:

    alphabetic and numerical, Sally Bercow1

  18. 18
    White hat geek says:

    Someone should really retweet that to Anonymous…

  19. 19
    EU Watch says:

    About 340,000 people marched through Paris the other day opposed, and that is likely just the start.

    Possibly a policy worth putting back on the loony pile, and maybe a good time to look at one which is on the ‘this is actually quite important for the country’ pile ?

  20. 20
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Plenty of French on the march in Paris, is there an EU directive pushing for gay marriage by any chance?

  21. 21
    Graffito says:

    For bum fun ring 0207 270 3000 and ask for Dave

  22. 22
    O/T Pi$$ Organ Support says:

    Rally to keep Piers Morgan garnered total of 4 people:


  23. 23
    Sir William Waad says:

    The concept of marriage pre-dates goverments and organised religion and redefining itvis ultra vires Parliament.

  24. 24
    old SHEP says:

    Dave’s uncanny instinct for current public opinion is bang on the money again as tens of thousands of people protest in France over proposed gay marriage legislation.

  25. 25
    Doctor Frasier Crane here, you are all just brit perverts says:

    Christ! the next sending card event.

    What paper was invented for – MY ARSE!

  26. 26
    EU Watch says:

    Hollande is trying to get it over the line. There is some serious opposition though, and quite rightly so.

    EU cannot interfere in affairs of Church, so not possible by directive. That is what the whole argument was over the ECHR trojan.

  27. 27
    Dunlaggin says:

    and the too, too

  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    Hope real conservatives who voted and made Cameron PM are happy.

  29. 29
    old SHEP says:

    Duck tape.

  30. 30
    Clegg says:

    Who knows?

  31. 31
    Gangs of New York says:

    The New York reload:

    Carry more than one loaded pistol, discard the empty one and replace with the loaded one.

    It’s about the quickest way.

  32. 32
    Doctor Frasier Crane here, you are all just brit perverts says:


    Song for such types, bought into it. We have March the first by the way, english, with our daffodils,

  33. 33
  34. 34
    Alphonse Capone says:

    I gave the public a product they wanted at a pr!ce they were willing to pay. That’s free enterprise– that’s the American way! Of course, I did take a page from the Robber Barons of the Gilded Age and tried to keep competitors out of the mar*ket, but hey, that was the American way too! You libertarians should be proud of me, at least on the first part– Government has no business telling people what they can and can’t dr!nk! And as for the second part, hey, I couldn’t force anybody to buy booze, so if everybody stopped tomorrow, I’d take a big loss on my investment, right? I couldn’t very well ask the Government for a bailout, now could I? My money, my risk!

  35. 35
    Gordon Brown says:

    I shall be speaking to the House about this. No seriously, I will.

  36. 36
    The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

    What happened to all the Olympic hopes and dreams ?

  37. 37
    CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

    Er Al Cap got rich because the GOVERNMENT eradicated his legal competitors.

    It’s just like most regulation is designed by big business to hamper new market entrants.

  38. 38
    STuN says:

    I don’t think the names at Lloyds would agree with you there Al.

  39. 39
    The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

    Ah, that’s what happened to our 2012 Olympic hopes and dreams…

  40. 40
    CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

    So does the concept of slavery. Poor argument.

  41. 41
    Alan Duncan says:

    Don’t knock bum fun till you’ve tried it.

  42. 42
    old SHEP says:

    The one in Kirkcaldy.

  43. 43
    Keb@b says:

    Fap fap fap

  44. 44
    The tit in no. 10 says:

    Dearest Beks


    This coalition thing is just a ‘marriage’ of inconvenience, but tell no-one.
    You know I don’t believe in ‘marriage’.





  45. 45
    tube_thumper says:

    who cares about poof marriage.

    the trouble is these uphill gardners want to have their cock and eat it

  46. 46
    old SHEP says:

    Gay Games, hmmm, will they be broadcast after the watershed?.

  47. 47
    Synic says:

    Gay Marriage is “The Last Straw” issue. The day it is passed by the H.o C. I will join UKIP

  48. 48
    Socks by name but not by popular demand says:

    The outhouse in Kirkcaldy.

  49. 49
    Doctor Frasier Crane here, you are all just brit perverts says:

    By the way Guido, excellent shit, best yet, and I am proud of you lad,


    Song for you ma son,

  50. 50
    STuN says:


    Lots of geese = A flock of geese

    Lots of Cows = A herd of cows

    Lots of fish = A shoal of fish

    Lots of muslims = A threat of muslims

    Is this government a conspiracy of cocksuckers?

  51. 51
    long Tails Lifter says:

    So Dave’s Legacy is to be the PM who buggered up the meaning of marriage.

  52. 52
    EU Watch says:

    This is another take on it across the channel:


    (Ha’aretz article)

  53. 53
    Jay says:

    With Camerons sudden fondness for gay marriage – makes me wonder if his manly looking Mrs is a cut and shut and he’s just doing this so they can have their civil partnership blessed in church ;)

  54. 54
    old SHEP says:

    The shitehouse in Kirkcaldy.

  55. 55
    Doctor Frasier Crane here, you are all just brit perverts says:

    just three pies today, garcon…

  56. 56

    Giving the Catholics emancipation might have been a step too far … but gay marriage? :-)

  57. 57
    Lord mandlebum of Fondleboys says:

    I prefer the full colon my self.

  58. 58

    I understand that the collective noun for wankers is bolus according to Alan Clarke

  59. 59
    Doctor Frasier Crane here, you are all just brit perverts says:

    Lets look forward to the 2014 Winter Olympics shall we, in in, umm, gooooogle fuck.., ah yes Sochi, in the Cucasus, has the highest hill/mountain in Europe aparently. So get over it London, on the list of best su,,er Olympics, you are well down the list, stop fooling yourselves, tory boris islignton hampstead teeth londoners.

    Good luck to Russia for a more interesting games. Song for them,

  60. 60
    A Voter says:

    I did. But it was to get rid of Brown. I was always suspicious of Cameron and his cronies. Now, I have concluded with others that all 3 main parties are the same and will vote for a party more true to real Conservatism.

  61. 61
    old SHEP says:

    Can’t remember who it was, some Archbishop who said he was quite prepared to conduct gay marriages as long as the couple said in their ‘wedding’ vows that they promised to remain celibate…It’s all getting very confusing.

  62. 62
    STuN says:

    A Bolus of tories???

    I would have thought a ‘Hatred of Tories’ much more apt :)

  63. 63
    Doctor Frasier Crane here, you are all just brit perverts says:

    suppose I might as well post Ukrania, nearby, folk?

  64. 64
    Another Voter says:

    Likewise, the overarching objective at the time was to get rid of Brown before he completed his client state project.

  65. 65
    bergen says:

    I know all PMs go nuts in the end but he’s managed it earlier than most. No sane PM would enrage both his backbenchers and his core vote to attract a small minority who are highly unlikely ever actually to vote for him anyway.

  66. 66
    Former Government Minister Harriet Harman says:

    Password ? Is that not just your name ?

  67. 67
    Alphonse Capone says:

    That’s true– had distilleries and breweries stayed in business producing alcoholic beverages, there wouldn’t have been room for me to get into the business. But, you know, you see a need, and then you fill it. I wish I were around today– if they get around to banning gun ownership in the US, think what a guy like me could do. Get the munitions people to retool as something else, and the pr!ce of guns will go up, from scarcity, and people like me will come, in to fill the desire of the public, and will profit immensely. I’d end up being one of my best customers, though, and I’d have to watch myself, wouldn’t I? (*HA HA*)

  68. 68
    Doctor Frasier Crane here, you are all just brit perverts says:

    Catholics? You are treading on my new found ground, since not born Father Ted, but my daughter due to mother kicks left foot – and I am happy with it. So, if you have a problem with it then you ahve a problem, seriously with me. Catholics make the best neighbours, I have found, even with forty-five miles of sea, rather than a bridge, or two,

  69. 69
    Who financed Gordons rise to power ? says:

    The one you secured at a rock bottom price from fraudster/thief Robert Maxwell ?

  70. 70
    At home with the Mills-Jowells says:

    Maybe a house purchased with the proceeds of crime . Ours is available.

  71. 71
    Sir William Waad says:

    Not so: the existence of slavery depends on public law to enforce it.

  72. 72
    A Solicitor says:

    I shall be happy to help in Gay divorces….. for a small remuneration.

  73. 73
    Sir William says:

    But if she weren’t Catholic she wouldn’t have to spend time in Purgatory.

  74. 74
    T'Old Fella says:

    I give up, you must be Mark or Rich

  75. 75
    Ron Davies says:

    It is not the same sex marriage that is the issue .

    The issue is the Lesbians .

    They are already starting to demand access to male sperm so that they can have babies. Not content with this they want Child and other State Benefits as well plus preserving pension entitlements for which they would not otherwise qualify.

    You simply cannot rely upon HM Opposition to advise you of the counter arguments .

  76. 76
    T'Old Fella says:

    I didn’t watch any of the Olympics it didn’t affect me

  77. 77
    Ali Bóngo di Gaspicantes says:

    Bolas would be a viable alternative for dealing with the likes of Dave in the absence of lampposts.

  78. 78
    T'Old Fella says:

    This is even better http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CWIIoSf4nw more like Guido’s thing I would have thought.

  79. 79
    Sam Johnson says:

    Celibacy refers to a state of being unmarried.
    Did Humpty Dumpty have a hand in this nonsense ?

  80. 80
    Mynza Pint says:

    Then she wouldn’t have to change at Crewe then?

  81. 81
    Man on a Clapham Omnibus says:

    How’s the badger hunting going on the common?

  82. 82
    Gay Dave says:

    Well bugger me!

  83. 83
    ERIC PICKLES says:

    “Vanlentine’s Gay Massacre”
    To be quite honest i’m sick to death of Dave ramming this down my throat

  84. 84
    David Camoron says:

    “Plenty of French on the march in Paris, is there an EU directive pushing for gay marriage by any chance?”

    No, it’s got something to do with bent bananas!

  85. 85
    Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

    I suspect Cameron’s reception by his back benchers to Gay Marriage had all to do with the fact that their in boxes are full of complaints from their core vote telling them where they can stick their voting papers in 2015. The Tories have no chance of winning the next election as

    * The constituency boundaries have not been resloved ( 20 Seats)
    * Gay Marriage ( 5% core vote)
    * HS2, Independents standing in Tory seats along the route ( 7 seats)
    * No curbs on immigration
    * Europe – UKIP trending at 14%, anything over 4% and the Tories have no chance

    Cameron’s problems are only just beginining and he has Clegg to help him all the way to defeat.

  86. 86
    Anonymous says:

    This is a sound analysis,but its not too late for Cameron and the Consevatives drop the gay marriage nonsense promise an in/out referendum on Europe and continue cutting the public sector,time is running out and the spectre of Millcnut and a Balls looms large.

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    This is a sound analysis but there is still time left for the Conservatives.Drop the gay marriage idea ,promise an in/out referendum on Europe and continue to diminish the state.The spectre of Millicnut and Balls looms large.

  88. 88

    If Cameron goes ahed with this crazy Gay Marriage nonsense then the Tory Party needs to change its leader or else Labour will be in again,Gawd helpus

  89. 89
    Doctor Frasier Crane here, you are all just brit perverts says:

    heard the one from Boston, from two irish extraction kiddies of that such song?

  90. 90
    Doctor Frasier Crane here, you are all just brit perverts says:

    t’ursday night was the funniest, methinks.

  91. 91
    Doctor Frasier Crane here, you are all just brit perverts says:

    i am talking paddy station lahdahn here, love. You’re talking Holyhead, not Fishguard.

  92. 92
    Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

    You can add postal votes to Cameron’s problems. He will never win a tight seat in the Midlands, North West and Yorkshire until he makes it more difficult to prove you qualify for a postal vote.

    To quote Farage at the Rotherham count ” We were doing ok until the postal vote came in”

    Cameron is so stupid he can’t even get the mechanics of winning an election right never mind developing the policies needed to get the electorate to vote for him.

  93. 93
    Blimey says:

    “Catholic labour MPs are trying to halt the bill” ? Why don’t they stand for election as theocrats then? Of course they would lose the troughing available to MPs if they did, but it would be the honest thing to do?

    Are we ruled from Brussels or Rome?

  94. 94
    Dougie says:

    What does Guido mean “It is believed that Lord Strathclyde couldn’t face the prospect of forcing the issue through the Lords”? Tories will have a free vote so no “forcing” required.

  95. 95
    Depardidooda says:

    If French don’t like it, it must be right

  96. 96
    fitzfitz says:

    Kick it into the long grass, David: we don’t want to be delivered to red milliband and the leftists at the election …

Seen Elsewhere

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ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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