January 13th, 2013

Guido’s Column in the Daily Star Sunday

In Guido’s Daily Star Sunday column:

  • starThe night the government’s new head of spin had with topless glamour model Jo Guest.
  • We are not all-in-onesies-together. Which politician wears £3,500 suits?
  • Who was the Tory MP who lambasted Cameron over gay marriage?
  • What was the final straw for Strathclyde? How keen is his successor Lord Hill?
  • Where was James Landale when he got the news about Marr? And who was annoyed with him?

All for just £1…


  1. 1
    DAVE (Triple Dip) Cameron says:

    Hi Want to see my Column ?

    • 3
      Fat Piggy Pickles says:

      Lunch time.

      • 15
        Keith Chegwin III says:

        Humiliating interview with Brillo for fatty Pickles. He denied his own department’s figures, had no idea how many Rumanians & Bulgarians would be entering UK in 2014 and was proud that he was legislating to prevent householders being prosecuted for putting their bins out on the wrong day. His finest achievement to date. You’d have thought that such a senior minister would be on top of his brief & figures and have some idea of how to respond to predictable questions. Useless twat.

        • 18
          Fat Piggy Pickles says:

          Sorry but I was busy thinking of all the free dinners from the BBC canteen.

          • V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

            What the scum political class need to realise is that if they deny us the democratic right to vote on leaving the eu then the only avenue open is to use force. I can forsee a terror organisation being formed to attack eu institutions and individuals.

          • Cameron is a traitor, just like Blair. says:

            At the very least, V1le Labour ruined my Country, I can see us becoming like the We/lsh natio/nalists, with EU ‘invaders’ coming home from work/the benefit office, to find their home has been burned down.

            Setting fire to their easily-identified foreign-registered cars would also be a good plan.


            Dont drop My Monica. How dare the PRESS drop the thing that give me a way of helping myself into kids underwear..

          • What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

            Anyone thought of spit roasting pickles, with an apple in his gob? Can’t get the thought out of my head at the moment…


        • 34
          Anonymous says:

          Even if only 1% come UK will end up receiving 400,000 Rumanians & Bulgarians. When Poles came country was growing and there was plenty of jobs which kept wage inflation low but increased house price. This time around its going to push up unemployment.

          • Enough is enough! says:

            The days are long gone when the incredibly damaging actions on the part of our politicians can be excused through cockup, ignorance, stupidity or indolence.

            Everybody in this country can see that unchecked low-skilled immigration from anywhere is killing this country and not in a slow way. It might have started with death by a thousand cuts – now the guillotine is being wheeled out.

            Letting in ANY more unskilled immigrants from ANYWHERE is just an act of treason against the British people and any politician aiding and abetting that action should be dealt with accordingly.

            Continued unfettered immigration of low skilled people and their dependents, usually from completely alien cultures and standards, is an act the consequences of which can be assessed with a high degree of certainty with regard to the negative impact on the British people. If I conspired with someone to do injury to my fellow citizen, I would rightly be arrested. Our vile politicians conspire against the British people every waking moment.

            Enough is enough! NO MORE.

          • CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

            >kept wage inflation low but increased house price

            Yeah. Low wages AND high cost of living. All hail the Labour’s new economy!

          • Anonymous says:

            CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt; you have to understand that this has been the government policy for over 30 years.

            This is why jobs were exported, immigrants were let in, etc. Who ever is in power they want the top 10% to become richer and others to become poorer and poorer. Take the four main party leaders (Ed, Cameron, Clegg and Nigel) all of them are very rich people.

            Funny thing was under Labur divide between rich and poor was widening at a faster rate. Hold loads of tax loopholes were allowed under Labour for the rich. In the 13 years Labour was in power it became worse and worse. Even though people thought its the poor persons party. Even take the left wing LD; they supported 5% tax cut to the rich while increasing VAT and employee NI.

            I am not a Conservative supporter or voter, never again I will vote Conservatives. I am just telling you the reality of how politic is in UK.

          • What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

            More cross-border culture we get here, to water down these white tories, the better I say.

            Us welsh have an A grade at A-level in it. And A-levels are when you actually learn, and set your minds in concrete.

            Romans, visiting us welsh, back in the first centary, of Jezuuz’s anno domino, when we welcomed them, with open swords,

            We did come to some agreement, but it still pisses me of that oxbridge twats these days called us Romano-Celts, or even worse, when they call us Romano-Brits. Welsh was spoken, albeit an earlier form, in Lomdon and present day East Anglia – ch’s and ll’s and everything.

          • What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

            as Norwich here, welsh engrained culture remembered, from genes, within, Boudicca and all that bollox, to some,

          • What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

            by the way, above is about Julius Caeser’s visit, when romans had a look see in, and we gave them what for, pre-anno domino, pre christ almighty, BC I believe, 60 BC or something like that.

            All history see, non-Norman Oxbridge.

        • 42
          Anonymous says:

          Just ask the simple question; if you are a Rumanians or Bulgarians and allowed to move any where in EU will you stay or leave?

          Already we have 155,000 of them. I don’t blame Rumanians & Bulgarians for coming here, I blame the government for letting them in without any controls or plans as to how we are going to settle them in UK.

          • Britain the ruined country says:

            Most big issue sellers are now Rumanians the reason being that they can then obtain a valid NI number and proceed to claim every benefit going – the criteria being that they sell (supposedly) one copy of said Issue per week.

            One of the two who permanently appear in my tiny town spend all their time talking on their mobile phones when not signalling to their relatives who loiter near the shop favoured by old women who are easy prey for pickpockets.

      • 54
        Anonymous says:

    • 17
      Butch Dave says:

      My fellow cocksuckers in the world’s first official mandatory-to-be-a-homo Gayocracy, Great Brittain, Gideon, William and I were all set to take a well-earned quickie w/end away from the beards, having slaved away since Jan 7th, in the protection of the country’s untouched elite nonces, in southern California on Muscle Beach, admiring well-endowed young chaps, when word came through that due to run-away pleb made Global Warming, requiring lots more pleb taxes in 2013, to combat CO2 caused greenhouse warming, LAX airport is closed due to snow.

      • 36
        Anonymous says:

        Total UK debt when you add up personal, government, business and finance it comes to around 530% of GDP. If financial institution go to the south again as 2007/8 we will be finished.

        It might be better to join the Euro at least we might get some money from Germany to stay in Euro. Otherwise no one will rescue UK.

        • 152
          MI6 says:

          Number 36.. Did you Say IF.. Big Word.. and without any growth or sign of growth due to the State Bleeding the people dry through TAX.. No growth No IF…. Its a Fact that we are Fu-ked and.. Now this didn’t happen by chance..
          Thatchers Reganomics… Bliars Wars.. and NOW the Coalition,, Carrying on regardless… Osboom is behind the Curve..When it comes to fixing the economy.. He is too late as he reacts to events.. Creating is whats needed and our educated Political fools can only manage.. NOT THINK

          • Anonymous says:

            I use think Government knows what is happening and only publish dodgy data to public; now I have realised government also believed in dodgy data.

            Just look at BOE or Office of Budget Responsibility, growth is always over estimated and inflation is always underestimated. There people are paid six fig salary even though they always get it wrong.

            Now we have got a guy from Canada as head of BOE for £500,000 a year. He is coming here as Canadian housing market crash started.

          • CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

            >He is coming here as Canadian housing market crash started.

            Housing is not crashing, it’s reverting to the correct price and the collapse in affordability was caused by this fool.

          • Anonymous says:

            This is where printing money will end. People were afraid of rising prices, think if they missed the chance they will not be able to afford in future.

            Government and central banks encouraged assets inflation around the world. Is it the fault of the people?

          • CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

            Exponential Debt is needed to replace the harm caused by taxation of incomes (and non taxation of rent-seeking).

          • maitre d'argent says:

            Carney is a Goldsox stooge. Nothing good will come of his tenure.

        • 332
          oddly helpful says:

          Do not even consider this option. Look at the terms of the Alphabet Rescue Funds, the arrival of on-message financial bods from Brussels, hunger, chaos, youth unemployment all over Club Med – the precise nightmares they’re frighening us with now. The ‘fix’ as seen in Eire, France and Holland is clearly in.

      • 39
        Anonymous says:

        If you want to see how bad things are, read this. UK and Japan’s total debt are almost the same. UK situation is far worse than PIIGS.


        • 147
          Vote UKIP says:

          “At 512% of GDP, Japan’s total debt remains the highest of the developed economies in Q2 2011.”

          Japan is the country whose politicians twenty years ago used Keynesian theory (slavishly adopted by the left wing nut jobs) rather than austerity to get out of the economic mess it was in when its boom turned to bust.

        • 184
          Dreary Steeples says:

          Ireland appears to be truly fluked.

      • 119
        Anonymous says:

        So far every comment sounds as though its been written be somebody who is pissed !

      • 234
        Incredible how cool global warming is says:

        Emergency aid sent to M0r0cco, where people are freezing:


    • 229
    • 378
      Ma­qboul says:

      Fuck me, reading the above I see that the heads in gas ovens brigade were out in force over the weekend.

  2. 2
    Abu fucking Qatada says:

    Where’s my kebab

  3. 5
    DAVE (Triple Dip) Cameron says:

    BBC spouting that Daves falling unemployment figures are a sham
    Of the 40,000 fall in unemployment , at least half are no on the unemployment figs because they are on re training schemes with gov job search agencies or on
    work experience
    NoNS is working hard to manipulate the figures to show unemployment falling while the economy is flat lining and output falling

    Pants on fire again Dave

    • 8
      Sir William says:

      We’re all doomed! Doomed, I tell you!

      • 43
        Anonymous says:

        Government never publishes Full Time Equalent employed. Even if you lose your full time job and employed for one hour a week you are still considered as employed.

        This is why benefits payments are going through the roof.

    • 11
      Stuff the BBC, its staff are effeminate pseudo dross. says:

      To be honest, I don’t trust a single thing the BBC says these days. They are more political than the political class.

      Their stance on AGW proves they no longer take a neutral stance.

      • 61
        The BBC has never ever been impartial says:

        “Their stance on AGW proves they no longer take a neutral stance.”

        They haven’t taken a neutral stance since 1975…however in the last 12 months they have been getting decidely more biased in their political coverage and quite frankly their news coverage and reporting on domestic issues is more like a Labour Party political broadcast than an actual Labour Party political broadcast

        • 124
          Anonymous says:

          I never understand why labour spokesmen are a permanent feature of news bulletins on the BBC, why is that and shouldnrt it be stopped ?

        • 159
          BBC Brainwashing says:

          Anybody else notice their wall-to-wall TV, radio and website coverage of Heseltine’s pro-European stance this week? (‘How dare Cameron even hint that the plebs might be allowed a Referendum on coming out?’)

          On Radio 5 Labour this morning, during a report on child sex trafficking, the presenter asked the social worker expert, ‘Do you think this is linked to the present economic situation?’, and when she replied no, it wasn’t, he even repeated the question, presumably hoping that she would say ‘Yes, it is directly linked to the Tory Government and their evil cuts.’ Unfortunately for him, she didn’t.

          Try their drama coverage too.

          In Silent Witness this week they were having a go at the unregulated internet and its ability to ruin reputations. The script could have been written by a member of Hacked Off.

      • 76
        Anonymous says:

        who to trust. Truth hidden in plain sight. our eyes decieve. others knowingly deceive. who to believe. we need a sieve.

    • 27
      Anonymous says:

      Hardly news to say that the ‘fall’ in unemployment is a Tory lie.

      • 63
        Sir William says:

        More importantly, private sector employment (+money) is booming while public sector employment (-money) is at last being pruned back; part of an essential adjustment from a consumption-led economy to one that’s production-led.

      • 299
        Anonymous says:

        Yawn. Unemployment is measured by the ONS according to rules set by the International Labour Organisation, part of the UN. If lies they are, they’re the UN’s lies, not the Government’s.

    • 121
      Anonymous says:

      Its strange that the onlt time you hear whingeing about unemployment is on blogs ! we have the same unemployment levels as always !

  4. 6
    Daily Star Sunday says:

    KAYLEIGH’S LIPOSUCTION HORROR – it wouldn’t switch off!!




  5. 7
    On a Jolly. What the fuck has this to do with the single market? says:
    • 9
      An Arab says:

      Please! We’ve suffered enough!

      • 19
        Mine d'Boggles says:

        So why not make a load of Africans suffer a bit more?

        Will these people never learn? I work on and off in west Africa in a mostly moslem area, with mostly Christians to the south. It isn’t a “front-line” impact area (like Jos in Nigeria) and the people here are very moderate in their views – Churches co-exist with Mosques. It is peaceful and pleasant, not to mention the enjoyment of Christian, Moslem and secular holidays.

        But in the reasonable distance (Mali) something different is happening. It isn’t peaceful, it isn’t moderate, it isn’t secular – it is violently anti everything that is not moslem. Our government is dropping hints that intervention in Mali is happening. It won’t work. The violence can be stemmed for a while but the violent spirit grows in strength. It is another “Afghanistan” for the French (and us) and anyone they can drag in. Like Afghanistan, the result will not be what is wanted.

        Far better that Europeans guard their own borders and secure their own countries, than interfere in what is clearly another moral swamp. Did Europe really make a difference in Libya? Will it work in Syria? Does our Government understand tribalism? Or sectarianism? I think not.

    • 14
      yes for Go see what you can bite and from there Dracula says:
    • 28
      They were both provinces of the Roman Empire says:

      So the punk emperor of the evil eu-empire wants them.

  6. 10
    DAVE (Triple Dip) Cameron says:

    Camoron sends in the military !
    RAF transport planes are to be used to transport French troops into Mali .Dispite Camoron saying we are not going to commit troops to this conflict against Islamists .Well what do you call using RAF personel to fly transport planes Dave , you knob ?
    So now we go and piss off another muslim country , Why can’t the french use their own planes of which i’m sure they have a damn site more than we have ?

    • 12
      Owen Jones (Guest Moderator) says:

      Prime Minister Cameron

      Your response has been recorded,but is being edited as a result of every other word being an expletive.

    • 20
      Mine d'Boggles says:

      I didn’t see this before I wrote #19. Dead right. “Knob” isn’t really strong enough.

    • 21
      Indigenous Anglo says:

      So we fight ‘Islamists’ terrorists in Mali, but train, fund and equip ‘Islamists’ freedom-fighters, beheading Christians, in Syria(and Libya in 2011, Kosova in 1999).

      Any clever fucker out there care to explain this ‘policy’ to an indigenous Englishman who actually pays for this ‘British’ policy?

      • 29
        Mine d'Boggles says:

        Yes, Kosovo ….. well, they are mostly moslems and wanted to be free of Orthodox Serbians I suppose. Strange that the local barber (near my home in UK) is a Kosovar/Albanian moslem. Blame Tito! or, alternatively the USA. Hmmm … USSR? errr …. our loyal Arabists in the FO (you remember, Carruthers of the FO, yes, that’s the one).

      • 48
        Policy Watch says:

        Syria: Mainly French funded. The ‘rebels’ and ‘FSA’ insurgents are Sunn!. Government is currently Sh!a (Alaw!te). It is s3ctar!an thing.

        Desire is for Sunn! dominated country to emerge which will be friendly to western interests and tolerable to !srael. Check out what is going on elsewhere and you will see a familiar pattern.

        Underhand aspect to Syria is Tartus.

    • 38
      Airforce Man says:

      To paraphrase another, I’m sorry but there are no planes left.

    • 116
      fruitcake says:

      I hope they’re paying for using both our transport planes.

    • 127
      Anonymous says:

      Well you knob we call them pilots,you know they fly planes.Its also a damn SIGHT, not site.

  7. 13
    Kebab Time says:

    Looks good, will pick up a copy.

  8. 16
    • 50
      US Watch says:

      And be careful with that scandal.

      In this one the Navy is castigating Obama. If you check through the archives though you will find closer to the time Army defending decision.

      There are defense cuts being spoken about at present, and the services are having a bit of a pi$$ing competition one thinks. This is actually quite dangerous for the US if one thinks about the implications.

  9. 22
    £1 says:

    ONE of the world’s biggest music stars faces arrest by detectives ­investigating sex offences.

    His name is on a list of seven famous men yet to be quizzed about complaints.

    Guido must know.

  10. 31
    • 55
      Casual Observer says:

      Shame that they couldn’t get them for xenophobia / racism as well – bit off given the distinctly non-UK name of the person who left the comments.

      Perhaps the views expressed are not altogether those of a native UK ???

      But the ‘left’ will not want to dwell on that for too long. Too complex a deduction.


    • 69
      Sir William says:

      The Daily Mirage ought to be bigging up UKIP rather than smearing it, as UKIP is the only hope for Miliwatt ever to get his slippers into the hall at Number 10.

      • 110
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Ukip must be doing something right – seeing how both the Tory and Labour parties are coming together in a joint attack – smears ‘n all that!

        And Labour doesn’t have a Big clunking fisted bigot in its ranks called Gordon Brown and the Tory’s don’t have a racist homosexual called Conor Burns in their ranks!

        Ukip should be proud of the ‘smear attacks’.

        One thing is for sure – the Government and Opposition- will not mention the three most key and controversil subjects that the public want to discuss – The G & O – are enforcing upon the British public the lies of their forefathers – how shameful pitiful and misguided is that@

        Out of EU.

        • 170
          The enemy of the English is in Westminster says:

          The Liblabcon will be using their irregular UAF thugs next to break up meeting, beat party members in the streets – all the usual tactics.

        • 241
          Anonymous says:

          it is question of when.
          globalism has failed.

      • 129
        Gooey Blob says:

        Yes, UKIP are Miliband’s only hope. A single-digit poll lead 2.5 years out foretells a bad election for Labour in 2015. The socialist somnambulists still haven’t realised, and time is running out to replace their leader.

    • 141
      C.S. Lewis says:

      It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies.

  11. 33
    Owen Jones (Guest Moderator) says:

    This comment was left by a user(Prime Minister Cameron) who has been blocked by our staff.

  12. 37
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Anyone else noticed how our gutless press are joining in with the political elite and ramping up the “we can’t leave Europe” message?

    I’m pissed off with the lies, especially from thick drunk (usually) brain dead journalists spouting shit on a subject they know nothing about.

    We are not required to be part of the EU to make laws or rules on things like machinery, chemical safety and other standards. These are decided by international bodies totally outside of the EU for which we and most other Countries are and will always be members. And why should the EU dictate our employment laws? The USA doesn’t and we trade happily with them.

    What the political and media elite can’t work out is that we don’t need to be part of the USA to trade with it nor do we need to be part of the EU to trade with it.

    The other lie is that if we leave the EU companies won’t invest here. They said EXACTLY the same thing when we failed to join the Euro. Companies come here not because of the fact we’re in the EU but because the working practices and taxes are lower than other EU states (at least they were until Osborne took over) and American companies will come here because of the common language not because of our EU membership.

    The UK will simply have a trade arrangement with the EU, they will want to sell us their cars, wine and cheese and they will want to fish in our waters.

    I hope people here whenever they hear or see a politician or journalist spouting the lies about the EU on TV or radio challenge them and the lefty presenters who will nod along in agreement with these lies from our political elite.

    • 106
      Blowing Whistles says:

      All of the lies, deceits and duplicity of the EC that have morphed over the decades -Jean Monnet (1952) thru Heath (1972) to what currently is the bloated behemoth of the EU – are now found out. Across the board – successive governments have lied and lied and lied – because individual politicians have lined their pockets while riding the gravytrain. That EU expressgravytrain has hit the buffers and all the bluffers currently aboard and their predecessors are shown to be nothing but political pygmies, chancers and ill informed puppets.

      The fearmongering by the hacks and hackettes – is because they too are as guilty for selling on all the lies. There are a few old style journos who can hold their heads up high – and congratulate themselves in ‘I told you so’ style. But the key to the public finding out that our politicals have been selling us a dud is largely down to the net and good people standing up against the suborned and craven Pygmies -their lobbying bankster liars and spin merchants. The legal fraternity deserve no thanks either.

      Lamp posts!

      • 109
        Operation Crossbow says:

        Just like the global warming scam, almost all the media bought into it and now the lies can no longer be hidden no one is prepared to stick the boot in.

        The idea we have a free press is a joke, they all go along with the BBC, the Government and the political elite.

        • 125
          Casual Observer says:

          Saw some MP twitter feeds this morning talking about tidal power.

          Severn barrage came up.

          Now: That could be a good idea, but if it was such a good idea, why wasn’t it done instead of the wind turbine farce first ?

          Key point on tidal power: If it does work, it is at least reliable. Unless of course the Moon goes away…

          • Colin Campbell says:

            But the moon is going away. It’s had enough of this crap – and who can blame it ?

          • Operation Crossbow says:

            The Moon is made of cheese and as such the EU won’t tolerate it and it has to go as French farmers are being victimised.

          • Cam Embert-el-Ectrique says:

            But all the hygiene rules and such just get ignored in France.
            It’s British farmers who are being victimised – by Whitehall.

      • 175
        The enemy of the English is in Westminster says:

        Was Heath blackmailed into pushing the UK into the EEC?

      • 244
        Anonymous says:

        strange when you enter “ram” in youtube search you get “r,o,t,h,c,h,i,l,d”

        lord ram is the hindu god. also known as rama. he epitomises duty and what it means to be an elder brother.
        what happens when you put the dreaded d before rama.

        are we meant to see that we have drama in our lives when we fear duty.
        so true.
        Big Brother is watching.

    • 180
      Anonymous says:

      We have some very insecure people in government. They have never taken a career break willingly, and cling on to the very end.

      These people are the types that can only see the bad in any change.

      A long time ago we threw in the towel on 2 well paid jobs and did not work for 3 years. The family members told us we were mad. We would never survive.

      But we are not like them. We have the ability to believe in ourselves. We both walked back into significantly better jobs.

      So when will the UK believe in itself, and start acting alone, and take the opportunities out there. We do not need the EU migrant populations, we do not need EU’s corrupt tax regime, we do not need to be a slave to anyone. The world will be a better place when we stop following the federalist gang culture and just start living. Nothing the side of the EU has ever got a chance to excel, it can only be mired in internal strife. It is time we met the world again in person.

      • 245
        Anonymous says:

        clinging klingon.

        the universe goes through the motions of construction followed by destruction.
        creation follows destruction.

        perhaps man is looking for the secrets of a crisis proof life.

  13. 40
    £1 says:

    His name is on a list of seven famous men yet to be quizzed about complaints.


  14. 41
    s.s. says:

    James Lansdale was shagging Marrs wife when he heard?

    • 284
      Thank God (whatever that is) is an Englishman. says:

      Marr was stroking a female colleagues backside when he ………aarrgh.

  15. 46
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    an addition to #19 (excerpt from Sunday Telegraph):

    “Mark Simmonds, minister for Africa, hinted at the move after it was announced last night that the UK would provide military aircraft to transport foreign troops to the country amid a new push against Islamist forces there.

    Mr Simmonds told Sky News’ Murnaghan programme today: “We may well, through a European Union mechanism, provide training and support for the Malian army to give them strength to bring back the integrity of the Malian country in totality”.

    Integrity of Malian territory???????? Does he know where Mali actually is, who live there, which tribe they belong to, how many Al Quaeda operatives are there? Oh right, it is just to the left of Ealing … or somewhere.


    • 49
      Anonymous says:

      The so called terrorists want independence for North Mali.

      What is the objection to this?

      • 53
        Mine d'Boggles says:

        Local view is that these people moved in and thought … lets grab this.

        • 57
          Casual Observer says:

          That is essentially what happened.

          Local government too corrupt to do anything, and half the countries armed forces signed up with the insurgents as well.

          Good example of what happens if you don’t look after your military or man your borders properly.

          Crystal ball for an analog with the UK.

        • 59
          Mine d'Boggles says:

          My point is that UK should not get involved in something that the great and good do not actually understand. Colonialism overlaid on tribalism was bad enough. Now we have countries created by colonialists that are in process of breaking up and reverting to tribalism. Fair enough, I suppose, but we should not get involved even if there is oil, gas, uranium, or whatever in these countries. We all know that if we get involved the losers will be over here asking for asylum.

          • Even the Foreign Secretary doesn't understand British Foreign Policy says:

            Didn’t stop them getting involved in Libya and look what a mess that turned out to be……………

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Some people should also read up on Gertrude Bell (SC – must be aware of her efforts to one degree or another)

  16. 51
    Scary Biscuits says:

    So, what happened to the Sunday Sleaze? If you want to hear about Osborne’s corrupt father-in-law rather than mindless gossip, save your pound and read the Independent.

    Once upon a time, Guido was the fearless revealer of little piggies. Now he seems more interested in promoting his journalism career. Another victory for the Establishment. Where did it all go wrong?

  17. 52
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Have a look at Mali on a map. The borders are (mostly) straight lines drawn on a map without any reference to who actually lived there. Like most of north Africa and the middle east come to that (hence all the fighting)
    Territorial integrity? For whom?

    • 60
      Mali Watch says:

      There isn’t much tribal stuff going on – so not completely relevant other than understanding why government and people are mutually opposed.

      The map was drawn up by the French. France was the colonial power in the region.

      The AQ mob there are using it as a base now as like Afghanistan the government is weak and cannot control territory. They have had law in place now for a while and are well positioned. Their primary targets are the mineral rich areas to the south and west though. (Outside Mali)

      This can be viewed in a way as history re-asserting itself now the colonial powers have vacated. One should ask what Ch!na is up to though: Supplying without too many questions, just taking payment is one guess.

      Like Afghanistan, any attack on AQ from air will have to target towns and cities. This will not kill many AQ as they are a tad nomadic and also dug in literally in the wilderness areas.

      Unless overwhelming ground forces can be deployed all that will happen is the campaign will pi$$ off the Malians and likely drive them more towards AQIM who will offer protection. The government will be collapsed and replaced with a somewhat expensive military administration.

      US can’t really afford another war at the moment, financially or politically. One suspects they will prefer to let EU run with this one, but will themselves accept reality and commence trading.

      Mali could provide one very useful solution to a pressing EU problem. Sending the common purpose grads in to deal with the insurgents may in fact solve a very real european problem.

  18. 62
    Confused says:

    Why does the Guardian boss not like: ‘Tiger Woods of Fleet Street’ mentioned in tweets ?

    • 353
      Fore!! says:

      The Qataris don’t much like him either after he demanded 3 mill just to appear to knock a golf ball around for a couple of hours.

  19. 65
    DAVE (Triple Dip) Cameron says:

    Massive demonstration going on in Gay Paree !
    300,000 + marching through the streets, after Hollande pushed through laws to legalise gay marriage outraged the French people

    There’s one thing about the French !
    They don’t like it up e’m

    • 68
      Operation Crossbow says:

      According to the BBC there are only 700 people protesting. They said tat live on air showing what looked like at least 100,000 to me.

      Nice to see journalism is still dead at the BBC.

      • 72
        CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

        They do the numbers the other way around when it meets their narrative.

        • 98
          Brokeback Dave says:

          Calm down, Dears! Every European already knew the British are closet homos, and so England will never protest this state mandated sodomy.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Ahem … No – Not the ‘British’ as in the whole population – but the elite toffs of the Tory party and the elite louts of the Labour party. They need each other to survive.

        • 137
          The BBC News ....IT'S not about reporting the facts stupid !!! says:

          Exactly…who can forget their all time classic of them reporting 1 million people marching in the PCS sponsored day of action against the cuts….when the police clearly outnumbered those marching !!!

      • 79
        Tay King-dePisse says:

        T’other way ’round when it’s Lefties demonstrating– a crowd of hundreds, and those mostly the “usual suspects” who show up for all such events, miraculously transforms into tens of thousands in the telling, due to the media’s counting of any passerby who stops to look even for two seconds as “having attended.” Perhaps they think the same applies here, only this time they’re only going to count the “hard core,” as no sane person would want to be accused of having attended one of “those” demonstrations, and must have stumbled across it by accident.

        • 92
          CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

          They know their doing it. The camera moves close in and lower when turnout in support of the BBC narrative is poor.

    • 74
      The Marquis de Sade says:

      One must feel sorry for those who have strange tastes, but never insult them.

      • 81
        DAVE (Triple Dip) Cameron says:

        So that would account for the BBC seeing No evidence of Sa-Vile kiddy fiddling

        • 134
          Gooey Blob says:

          …or other BBC presenters abusing young women or deliberately broadcasting lies to smear opponents of the left or BBC employees openly smoking dodgy substances in corridors or…

    • 80
      quelle suprise says:

      the french will go to the opening of an envelope and demonstrate if the weathers bad …the whole place is overdue for a tanking and Hollande is powerless to stop it happening.

    • 248
      Anonymous says:

      black holes are awesome.
      so astronomers have discovered.
      but there is more to the universe.

    • 286
      Thank God (whatever that is) is an Englishman. says:

      Oh yes they do – sideways and with spikes.

  20. 71
    This is how the Socialist Workers Party handle ràpe allegations says:

    A female member of the SWP has accused a senior member of the party, referred to as Comrade Delta, of ràpe. And how did the comrades deal with this allegation? They held a private court and acquitted Comrade Delta. One senior member has resigned in disgust over this.

    For the identity of Comrade Delta, google “Socialist workers party comrade Delta ràpe”. His initials are MS.

  21. 73

    After his stroke, I suppose that we will have to refer to old Jug Ears as Hedy La Marr…

  22. 75
    Confused says:

    Democratic Egypt ? Where’s that ?

    • 77

      Part of Europe, I think someone said…

      • 107
        Confused says:

        Democratic Europe ? Where’s that ?

        I don’t recall a vote for von Shitbrain to speak on behalf of Europeans, not that I consider myself a European.

      • 153
        Michael Fucking Parkinson says:

        I’ve met Herman. He smelt a bit but was very interesting.

        Incidentally I’ve met hundreds of interesting people.

        • 236
          Arthur's Cargill says:

          Where’s that bloody pen you promised.

        • 395
          Grimy Miner says:

          And the lifetime business award goes to……………………………………

          Michael Parkinson, for single handedly keeping the Parker Pen Company afloat.

          (Soundtrack of applause and clashing Zimmer frames, plus a stench of hypocracy)

    • 78
      Mornington Crescent says:

      Whilst implicitly threatening the likes of Switzerland with reprisals if the Swiss don’t sign up to Brussels diktat.

      Interesting piece on WtW (from 21m40s in) about how the Swiss want to stay out of the EU:

      • 117
        Blowing Whistles says:

        The Swiss are also worried about immigration and are going to take steps to halt it. [Be back with the reference later - I have cross read so many comics today]

    • 85
      can't use me old moniker says:

      if we do get a referendum, how many goes will braosso let us have until we get it right?

      • 138
        Gooey Blob says:

        As many as necessary. It’s just like Manchester “The Filth” United injury time.

    • 139
      British Foreign Policy....100 years of failure says:

      Next door to the new Democratic Libya

    • 279
      DAVE (Triple Dip) Cameron says:

      He’s going for an Arabs ring

  23. 83
    can't use me old moniker says:

    So, if i’ve got this right, according to the DT cast iron hoof dave is going to do his big EU announcement at the EUSSR and not at ‘home’ in front of the folk he’s supposed to represent

    • 94
      STuN says:

      And you expected what exactly?

    • 101
      Gordon Brown says:

      I always advocate keeping a low profile and leaving by the back door.

      • 290
        Thank God (whatever that is) is an Englishman. says:

        I thought you preferred to come IN by the back door, Gordon.

    • 102
      Dave is turning back to his socialist EU roots says:

      Massive counter attack by the self serving pro Europeans going on at the moment. Word is that Dave or people close to Dave are organising it.

      Was quite refreshing when the British chamber of commerce came on the Telly and recognised this push and countered that most of their members who trade with Europe want loser ties with Europe and are not against leaving the EU but remaining a trading partner. They pointed out we run a deficit with the EU and they need us more than we need them and if we do leave trade will carry on as before, despite all the scare mongering by Richard Lefty Branson.

      • 133
        C.S. Lewis says:

        Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive.

      • 135
        The BBC says:

        “not against leaving the EU but remaining a trading partner

        We’re sorry to have to contradict you, but it is an established fact – as we keep pointing out – that if we leave the EU (which accounts for half our overseas trade) we will obviously never be allowed to trade with them, ever again.

        If we leave the EU (which accounts for half our overseas trade) our overseras trade will collapse. Our economy will collapse. Your skin will be covered in festering sores that will cause a slow agonising death. And your arms and legs will fall off. And, more than likely, the British Isles will detach from the Earth and collide with the Sun and be burned to a crisp.

      • 148
        Dave says:

        How did you find out? I stopped wearing those EU flag cufflinks yonks ago.

  24. 84
    The Unelected President of the EU says:
    • 86
      Manuel Barosso says:

      “I respect Greek democracy”

    • 87
      Twat Watch says:

      The Twat is a fucking Twat and he does not speak for me or my country.

      He has no legitimate right to call himself my president. First and foremost I am British, I live in the British Isles and not fucking Europe.

      Now just Fuck off Rompuy. If we had a patriotic PM he would tell you to do the same you TWAT.

    • 88
      Mornington Crescent says:

      With friends like him, who needs enemies?

    • 89
      CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

      Egyptian Moslem Brotherhood Morsi?

      We really are “led”* by fools.


      • 99

        Ah but if you want to study multiculturalism in the UK they will bend over backwards, or presumably forwards, to accommodate you. Study our great English, British and European heritage and culture with its roots based in democracy and stretching back 2500 years and no one wants to know.

    • 93
      Shame on Herman. It's a good job he's not important. says:
    • 168
      Mornington Crescent says:

      WTF is a “pad of enshrining dem[o]cracy” when it’s at home, anyway?

      Launch pad? Panty pad? Brillo pad?

      A Lil-Let of shining democracy – sounds about right, don’t you think?

    • 301
      CarryHole is a Dismal Hunt says:

      http://www.memritv.org/clip/en/3702.htm Morsi in 2010: No to Negotiations with the Blood-Sucking, Warmongering “Descendants of Apes and Pigs”; Calls to Boycott U.S. Products

  25. 97
    123chris321 says:

    Huhne hacked. His highly infectious Tweet from last night that Gay Kebab unwisely posted has now been deleted.


    • 111
      Nothing at all to do with Kebabs says:

      I think better judgement would be to not post anything from a twitter / facebook account of a prominent figure who is actually going through the prosecution procedure.

      Such publishing could be dis-information to help form the basis of a dismissal proceeding, or could be the result of hacking.

  26. 103
    • 114
      The BBC causes serious mental illness says:

      Vote UKIP.

      • 142
        Gooey Blob says:

        Getting desperate are you, Ed?

      • 144
        One-term Dave, dragging the Tories to their grave, says:

        Look, you silly weirdo, the EU is wonderful. 600,000 Polish immígrants didn’t negatively affect ME! So 400,000 Romanians/Bulgarians won’t negatively affect ME either, what what.

        And just you lot wait until I get Túrkey (pop. 80million) into the EU.

        Gosh, it’ll be spiffing!

        Toodle pip!

        • 145
          Boris says:

          Exactly, my forefathers do deserve it.

        • 177
          Piers Morgan standing on many graves says:

          Yes. We must stay in the EU otherwise I stand no chance at getting a job when I return home of my own free will.

  27. 104
    Further detail on how to deal with liberal left retards says:

    Very much worth watching – concerning the ‘outing’ of gun owners in NY State:


    That’s how you deal with some of the ‘left’ tactics: Geddit ?

  28. 118
    Pi$$ Organ - On the way out... says:

    Looks like Piers is going to be pushed out later:


    That is the first step towards cancellation.

    • 142
      UK Border Watch says:

      Close the borders immediately

    • 146
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      Carefully note the timing:

      10 December 2012: Reportedly Piers Morgan is to be demoted to a different time slot in the light of his piss-poor ratings.

      14 December 2012: Connecticut school shooting occurs, after which Piers Morgan gets on his anti-gun high horse, stirring up a hornet’s nest in doing so, in what seems to have turned out to be a futile attempt to boost his ratings.

      But of course, Piers is an honourable man– he’d never stoop to something as low as trying to profit personally from the misfortune of others! Not our Piers! He’s a man of integrity, spe*aking truth to power!

      • 154
        Casual Observer says:

        Erm – he did take full advantage of the dead children for ratings. Or at least he tried to. Saw it on YouTube… would never watch his show live with adverts.

      • 190
        Piers Morgan, grave vigilant says:

        I assure you that Aaron Schwartz will not be used in my show next week to try and get some additional ratings.

  29. 150
    Owned Jones says:

    Looks like my maths have come under scrutiny – again:

    Leaving aside the fact that a rise by 397 per cent signifies a five-fold increase, not a six-fold one, it’s important to note that since this increase can be traced to 2008, it is at least in part attributable to the Labour government rather than just the Coalition, as one might infer from Jones’ article.

    • 151
      Lies, Damned lies & Libor statistics says:

      In fact, both phenomena – the growth of food bank numbers and the plunge in living standards – took hold during the Labour administration.

      • 164
        rebekah says:

        Why do folks need food banks when we have a welfare state? And you can always grow some crops in pots whether you’re in a flat or have a garden.

        • 171

          Our Client State ( aka our core supporters ) MUST be kept trapped on Benefits. This is clearly the most efficient way to being re-elected into government. We can then start predistributing from Tories to Libor and continue rubbing the Right’s nose in it.

          • rebekah says:

            People , aka those on welfare benefits, have lost so much in the last 13 years of labour.

            The working classes , the real classes, knew all about gardening, cooking and raising well scrubbed aspiring children.

        • 172
          Losers lost, Leaders we don't have says:

          It allows Labour to look “caring”, in reality it’s free so why not, opportunities not lost on some people.

  30. 155
    World Watch says:

    While France is busy trying to start WW III in Africa, a little look east shows a slightly more interesting development starting up:


    • 158
      Can't use me old moniker says:

      Maybe all this shit is going to save the grand europian slavery project.

      • 162
        EU Watch says:

        Several threads ago I did speculate on the possibility of a Union being forged in blood, ie. through conflict.

        Where EU defense spending is though, do not see that happening.

        UK and Germany should consider joint strikes against France if this initiative with AQ screws up. Invasion of Spain should have been on the drawing board ages back.

  31. 160
    Jon Parkinson says:

    I’ve met hundreds of interesting bus passes.

    • 187
      Jon Snow says:

      When you see my bus pass, then all the other bus passes you have seen will pale into insignificance. Look out for my bus pass routine on C4 News.

  32. 163
  33. 166
    Resign, Lord Howell! says:

    There weren’t any Daily Stars left when I went to the supermarket just now, Guido, tell the sups to buy more.

    And please tell George Osborne and his father in law they’re a bl**dy disgrace!

  34. 167
    rebekah says:

    Hubby and I have decided today that we are fed up with cameron and seriously considering voting UKIP next time around.

    If that puts militwit and bullyballs in power for one term – so be it – they’ll make such a mess of it nobody will ever vote for them again!!

    And hopefully the tories in opposition will finally get their act together and elect a proper leader like jesse norman or boris.

    • 178
      rebekah aka nellnewman says:

      Hubby and I have decided today that we are fed up with cameron and seriously considering voting UKIP next time around.

      If that puts militwit and bullyballs in power for one term – so be it – they’ll make such a mess of it nobody will ever vote for them again!!

      And hopefully the tories in opposition will finally get their act together and elect a proper leader like jesse norman or boris.

      • 188
        An ex-Conservative Party member says:

        Boris is a bit of a lunatic, to be honest – he’s currently campaigning for the G/ay Olympics to be held in London in 2018.

        We’ve got the economy on its knees, and he’s concentrating his efforts on this? FFS. I despair.

        Anyway, my guess is Ed will be the next PM and his government (for want of a better word) will last 3-4 years before collapsing (although thanks to Dave’s fixed-term parliaments, it will crawl along on its knees for another 12-24 months). We shall have to see whether the Tories use their time in opposition to elect a decent leader – they certainly didn’t last time.

  35. 174
    • 203
      Anonymous says:

      Pickles does not know what “sustainable” means.

      I’ll give him a clue: it is nothing to do with braces.

      Any % year on year increase is not sustainable. Creating a system where the raw consumption projections exceed all natural supply is not sustainable.

      To be sustainable the total needs must stay constant in a finite world. More consumers means less to go around. So more people need houses means smaller footprints. Step changes in population needs a financed and planned step increase in house density and a matching reduction in consumption. It does not need the use of arable land.

      Please do not claim it is not properly used as arable land. It is your idea of continuous destruction of green fields that means that farmers can not afford the land assigned to future houses. It is all owned by prospectors.

  36. 179
    rebekah aka nellnewman says:

    I wonder what cameron IS going to say in that speech about an eu referendum?

    If he’s only offering a repatriation of powers – he shouldn’t bother because most of us won’t be interested!!

    It’ll be time for Jesse Norman to up his game and start a leadership campaign to take control of the Tory Party!!

    • 185
      The meaty bit of Dave's speech says:

      “I give you a cast-iron guarantee that, many years from now when I’m no longer Prime Minister, I might give you a say, perhaps through a referendum or there again perhaps not, on whether we accept our current status in the EU, or whether we accept that our current status will not change.”

      • 189
        rebekah aka nellnewman says:

        I give you a prediction that the EU will collapse in my lifetime – hopefully whilst teflon tone is it’s worthless president!!

        On that day I shall celebrate with champagne!!

    • 195
      old SHEP says:

      We won’t get anything out of Dave, he needs to be replaced, welcomes Obamas two pennyworth about us and the EU and then agrees to send transport planes and more troops to Mali (?) at the request of Hollande (French not got any of their own?). What a joke, and here comes another 3 million + from Bulgaria and Rumania.

  37. 183
    US Watch says:

    For anyone interested / familiar, this is actually important:

    • 232
      Timmy Tin Foil says:

      The trouble is that, in the way Aaron Swartz died, more questions can be raised. Asphyxia by ligature can either be by hanging or strangulation by another person, and having strangled someone, a “hanging” can be easily arranged, if one has time enough and the physical capability to hoist a person’s body, into the appropriate scene. And if not, a “prisoner’s hanging,” i.e. the person’s weight distributed in such a way as to pull a rope/bedsheet/belt taut and keep it in that position even after loss of consciousness would have ensued had the person topped him/herself that way. Either way, it doesn’t take much for a Medical Examiner to conclude that a young man, who was probably mildly autistic anyway as all these geeks are, and who was known to have depression problems, saw the likelihood of prison as a death sentence and beat the authorities to it. Am I saying AS was murdered? Am I even implying it? No. But a lot stranger things have happened, as when a man takes a walk in the woods and supposedly slits his wrists and overdoses on paracetamol. In a situation where a young man’s life work had been to be able to distribute widely (and to have others do the same) information that would otherwise have stayed on a shelf somewhere, you don’t have to have that much of a paranoid streak to think he may have made enemies somewhere along the line, who wouldn’t have minded if the lad woke up dead some morning. Look for this sort of talk to come from lefties who shared his politics and who can be as conspiracy-theory as Alex Jones (the “Koch brothers,” etc.) when it’s their ox being gored.

      • 242
        US Watch says:


        But then being bankrupted and pushed into a position of having to admit guilt by overzealous prosecutors on pain of 30 years in jail likely also had an effect on an individual who was known to have some issues with depression. Of note is that it was very much the state who pushed the case, JSTOR themselves did not want to proceed.

        Perhaps would pay to read around a little before penning.

        • 273
          Timmy Tin Foil says:

          Well, the point was that, although it’s most likely the kid did himself in, and as you say, he may have been dr!ven to it by actions of the Government, anytime someone whose activities threaten a status quo with well-vested establishment interests goes and kills himself, there’s always going to be someone crying “murder.” If a mistaken claim of murder nonetheless results in people’s taking notice of the case, and gets them to ponder who the good guys and the bad guys really are in a situation, that’s a good thing. Sad that someone had to die, of course; and even if that makes me sound like Piers Morgan attempting to make hay from kids’ dead bodies, I think I’ll survive the indignity of that comparison.

          • US Watch says:

            I do not think anyone is crying murder as it was suicide.

            People are a bit irritated about the events which led to the suicide though, hence the pdftribute.

            Folk also are aware that suicides are very rarely caused by one single thing, hence no one is exclusively blaming the government. However, that was a major and wholly unnecessary factor.

            Aaron was a full adult, 26 years old, not just a ‘kid’. ;-)

            You do not sound like Piers Morgan, so please do not do yourself that dis-service. Leave straw man Morgan to burn on his own pyre of stupidity.

            We all have bad days. There appears to be a tweet somewhere on here about the stabbing of a deaf guy in North Carolina which speaks to that point.

            You are not standing on Aaron’s grave, and the academics who are symbolically publishing their papers are not either. There is a difference between remembrance / respect, and exploitation for cheap populist gain.

            It does pay to do a quick Google to cross check some basic facts first before reaching for the tinfoil hat. Aaron was I guess our younger version of the UK’s Gary Mckinnon in a sense.

            Have a great evening though. :-)

          • Timmy Tin Foil says:

            Once more unto the breach:
            The moniker is meant to be a nose-thumbing at the powers-that-be, who tend to brush off any inconvenient questioning– I’m saying “Yeah, so I’ve got a tin foil hat– now answer the bloody question!”

            My point, which seems to be eluding you, as I may be too subtle for my own good, is that legitimate questioning of authorities and their high-handedness is treated as if it is an act of sheer effrontery, and their default position is that if the person persists in such questioning and is not daunted by their haughty demeanour, that person is to be marginalised as a “nutter.” Sadly, many who persist ARE “nutters,” in the sense of idee fixe, or they are socially inept anoraks, or they are mountebanks who feign foamy-mouth indignation to ensnare the less wary, people of all of which categories tending to come across to Joe and Josie Average as people a few sandwiches short of a picnic, it must be admitted. That in no way gainsays the validity of their questions, but people being what they are, they tend not to want to be lumped in with such individuals, and so they relent. I tend towards Occam’s Razor and Heinlein’s Razor explanations when appropriate, but there are many situations in which we are asked to go on incomplete information when we have good reason to suspect other information is being withheld. Often this is under the rubric of don’t-want-to-compromise-an-investigation, but let us be frank, many times it’s really thou-shalt-cover-thine-arse. Often there are “facts” which, taken together, may seem to be related, whether as correlation or causation, and you’d like to ascertain which, if indeed either at all. Sometimes a coincidence is just a coincidence, and sometimes people people do jump to conclusions, but when you consider that sometimes questioning in one area can turn up more than one might originally have hoped for in another connection, quite serendipitously if nothing else, it’s good that someone do questioning however ill-conceived, which then can get the ball rolling to find out the good stuff. I’ve always believed that it’s not enough that “they” answer our questions– we must question their answers, too.

          • US Watch says:

            Got that from your second. No need to step into the breach, you’re not at war with me soldier :-)

            The thumb-nose doesn’t really work, at least not in this case. That is just honest opinion as to how it comes across. It is funny though.

            Get your argument. Instinct is usually right when you hear stuff and think things through critically, as average Joe and Josie usually do. Contrary to popular stereotype, us average Americans are not dumb, despite the election result last year.

            People are wise to the lies spread by the liberal left and their ilk. To handle, you just point out the flaws and tell ‘em to shut the hell up, respectfully of course. If they come back with something else, repeat until they get it right or they do what you want.

            The time for just sucking it up has passed.

            Going to the war allusion though, think of it like this:

            Your enemy has lost the psychological battle when they start thinking that they must not lose, rather than that they cannot lose. Once this territory is captured, final victory becomes much easier as their morale is broken.

            If you are doing all the thinking for them it means you’re doing the work for them, doesn’t it ? And more importantly, they know then that they cannot lose.

            This by the way is why it is important that Morgan has to suck start Nugent’s machine gun, be called to account for being rude to the NRA guys, deal with a deportation petition, explain why he was laughing about suggesting a shooting of Jones and deal with the new perception that he stands on children’s graves for ratings.

            See how that works ? The hog is tied and shaved, no razors required.

            When dealing with the reverse case such as Aaron, if a nutjob line is presented it is somewhat similar. We know to ignore that though as Aaron was a good guy, and know the source is likely hostile.

            Don’t think for one minute that similar patterns are not being followed with the other schmucks in ‘authority’ at present. :-)

          • and Badger says:

            Mashed potato.

    • 305
  38. 191
    Ed Miliband says:

    I vow to make the UK a complete wasteland filled with foreign imports on benefits. The UK is no place for workers.
    Join me and become a bandwagonista.

    • 199
      rebekah aka nellnewman says:

      Dear militwit you don’t need to make any vows .

      It’s quite clear that if you and bullyballs get into power in 2015 you will absolutely trash everything .Education, NHS, Economy ….. Even our 5 years olds know it!!

  39. 193
    CHuhn says:

    Er….excuse me….I just got in on the chain. Got a one-year bit for perverting the course of justice. Look, I know I’m a square and you’re all proper convicts, but I know how to dummy up. Anyone got a stick?

    • 196
      rebekah aka nellnewman says:

      Are you chuckaumumna that labour man with the £3000 suits and offshore £million inheritance?

      Oh no you’re the £multimillionaire huhne who thinks he can buy the justice and press system after leveson to hush up his inequities!

      These politicians are such hypocrits!!

  40. 197
    Tom Watson says:

    Sun beats council gag to reveal child was left in the care of alleged paedophile http://ow.ly/gJAma

  41. 198
    Tom Watson says:

    Sun beats council gag to reveal child was left in the care of alleged p*edophile http://ow.ly/gJAma

  42. 200
    I d on't need no doctor says:


    • 205
      rebekah aka nellnewman says:

      chilcot is waiting for bliar to respond to his draft report – where he criticises what bliar did.

      bliar is refusing to answer to delay chilcot’s report – at least that’s what I’ve read.

      Doesn’t take much imagination to work out what chilcot is saying about him does it?!!

      Earliest publication date, given the activity of bliar’s legal team, likely to be late 2014!!

    • 215
      Paddington says:

      Is that near Didcot?

  43. 204
    Moby Dick says:

    reading the daily express Sahara desert more chance of snow there

  44. 207
    Why is this funny ? says:
  45. 208
    Hacked off Sally. says:

    Our Sal has been hacked again.

  46. 221
    Little John says:

    That’s what I was thinking. It could be that she has hacked herself in a desperate attempt to make out that her Lord McAlpine Tweets were also the product of a Hacker.

  47. 225
    let's play darts says:

    nice arrows guido… you look so much thinner without the syrup and spectacles.

  48. 228
    Dave Watch says:

    Is Cameron going to try and secure Tory win 2015 with a bit of serious butt kicking ?


    - Let’s hope so as we cannot afford Labour to get back in.

  49. 243
    Owen Jones says:

    Even the Irish have been affected by the Jimmy Savile atrocities.

    In fact I saw an Irish copper arresting a group of p*edos just last night.

    He said ‘Yewtree, get in the fockin van’..

  50. 247
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Let the scare stories and Lefty Lies begin !!

    • 254
      rebekah aka nellnewman says:

      Who do these politicians think they are?!!

      dave and danny are entitled to their opinions and to their right to canvas for them. They are NOT entitled to inflict those opinions upon us the electorate!!

      We have a right to vote whether we want to be in or out of the EU. If they deprive us of that they are guilty of being more undemocratic than folks like mer kel and hit ler and the electorate will kick them out accordingly!!

  51. 250
    Keen nose says:

    The economy is still broken, and our soldiers are still dying, and we still hand over bucketloads of our hard-earned over to Europe but at least there’s time to talk about David Cameron’s pants:


    He says they are from M&S, and his missus makes him wear them. He also wears black work shoes on holiday but still insists Samantha is to blame. Can’t this bloke take responsibility for anything?

    They’re big girly women’s pants of course. True to Coalition policies they have a big, wet, soggy centre.

  52. 251
    Am not voting Tory no more says:

    Sunday press – Dave Cameron announces that Britain would be `mad` to leave the EU (and there `might` be a referendum in 2018, but not an in/out one)

    • 253
      Julie, Julie Kirkbride says:

      Dave is absolutely right as usual, he is simply simply marvellous.

    • 259
      Karen Kirkbride says:

      Will I still get me money if we leave that EU thing?

    • 261
      Barbara Kirkbride says:

      Our Julie and all me kids looks after me.

    • 263
      albacore says:

      Poor Eric don’t know how many migrants will come
      Ain’t it time some sod collared and told the old bum
      That it ain’t a pretend government of which he’s part
      It’s a real one; so quit acting like a silly tart
      ‘Cos governments can say who comes in or stays out
      In fact, it’s the main thing that government’s about

    • 264
      Anonymous says:

      The Tories are very fortunate in having such sophisticated and loyal families backing the

    • 270
      Anonymous says:

      Cameron is out to deliberately wreck the Tory party. He has no Conservative instincts, is not a Tory, and despises his own party. The sooner he goes the better.

  53. 252
    Don't Miss it. says:

    2nd part of the Tankies on BBC2/BBCHD now.

    Top Telly. The BBC documentary used to be like this most of the time until the Liberal Lefties took over program content.

  54. 256
    rebekah aka nellnewman says:

    So who will succeed the failed cameron as Tory leader, hopefully sooner rather than later??!!

  55. 268
    Moby Dick says:

    Is it true every Labour supporters cash isa can fit into Tony Blairs personal financial portfolio?

  56. 278
    Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP says:

    As Secretary of State for Energy & Climate Change, I urge all of you to keep calm and continue paying very high fuel bills.

    • 285
      Forgetful Public says:

      Now, remind me, who were the energy ministers who made the windmill policies a reality, and why did no one say that much about the energy b!ll which was put through last year locking in the price rises ?

    • 288
      One-term Dave, dragging the Tories to their grave, says:

      I think it’s vitally important that we impose eye-watering green taxes on fuel, which will put British manufacturers out of business. This will help our economy, what what. Our far-Eastern competitors will then have complete freedom to manufacture at will, using cheap environmentally unfriendly power. What what. Spiffing.

      Therefore, plebs, our ‘Green’ policies actually cause more CO2 emissions. Or something. What what.

      Toodle pip!

      (PS: The EU is lovely, isn’t it? I bet you’re all looking forward to another three hundred thousand East-European immigrants/ It’ll be spiffing, what what.)

  57. 280
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Fantastic – someones shot that utuber or hes done the right thing and a bit of hari kari.

    umm whats johanne harri kari doin these days – or is he still in a global comatose of climatic denial?

    • 282
      Not Blowing Whistles says:

      I really hope that the tuber was not waiting for someone to point out they had been quiet. Posting up lots of random Welsh $hit is really annoying to scroll through…

    • 292
      Johann Hari says:

      Where am I now?

      Had to get the train
      From Potzdamer platz
      You never knew that
      That I could do that
      Just walking the dead

      Sitting in the Dschungel
      On Nurnberger strasse
      A man lost in time near KaDeWe
      Just walking the dead

      Where are we now?
      Where are we now?
      The moment you know
      You know, you know.

  58. 289


    South Yorkshire is getting two inches.

    Penistone, watch out…

  59. 293
    Saffron says:

    The politico’s right now in this country must be the most corrupt ever.
    We have the the unions puppet red ed and his past family history spouting out complete and utter one nation crap.
    Then we see Bliar this champagme socialist involved to say the in deals with despots.
    Cammoron with his PR suit on is going to tell us as to what he is going to say to the EUSSR,come off it wavy davy boy,do you think that the electorate are fools,you will do nothing.
    Now we are with the frenchie surrender monkeys in africa,you could’nt make this feckin up.
    Von Rumpy Pumpy the unelected asshole tells Egypt we are with you all the way,what does this asshole think that the egypsians are fighting against,it is turning egypt into an islamic state.
    This asshole needs to think of how him and his eussr comrades have turned greece into an eussr shitehole.
    Danny Alexander says we should not leave the eussr as it would be mad,my advice to him would be to go back to his old job of planting trees,as he is out of his depth in economics.
    As for Cleggover and his foray into radio,what a plonker,what did he imagine would happen and it did.
    Nite all see you tomorrow.

  60. 294
    One Term Dave says:

    I can’t understand why millions of people think that I’m an absolute c- u- n- t.

  61. 302
  62. 311
    Somebody had better tell Herman says:
  63. 312
    Losers lost, Leaders we don't have says:

    I see we have the intelligent pair back on Sky news, god help us, no wonder the country has problems with experts like these two commenting.

    • 323
      SKY should be reported to OFFCOM says:

      Does Murdoch want Britain to stay in the UK or something? Sky have been wheeling out pro EUers all week to review the papers and Longhurst has taken the piss out of UIP every night.

      This evening was a complete disgrace. They know very well if we are not in the EU that we will continue to trade with EU members, just like the rest of the world FFS. Why do they pretend otherwise?

      • 327
        SKY should be reported to OFFCOM says:

        Sorry it’s late. UK should be EU and UIP is UKIP.

        Just a tad angry too as tonight was not a one off, Sky seem to be co-ordinating their pro EU paper reviews with the current pro EU campaign that has taken over much of the MSM.

        • 334
          Why the MSM are c unts says:

          The MSM have been found out to be phone hacking savile protecting EU loving c unts of the highest order. Fuck them !

        • 358
          Mynza Pint says:

          Plus they (like the Beeb) only ever seem to have shadow cabinet bods to comment on every news item they decide to cover. Odd that. Has nobody told that that the shadow cabinet are not actually in power and their hot air waffle doesn’t actually mean very much?

  64. 320
    Herman van Rumboy says:

    Nobody tell Dave that the trend is your friend…

    • 322
      Nigel Farage says:

      Fuck me! That’s even more than my party.

      • 376
        What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

        Nige, you being a mate of Cameron, and don’t deny it, being a tory mole in other parties, as Cleggover, little englanders SE England home countyites, the disgusted of Tunnbridge Wells and their tribe, invented get out of Europe.

        What is your policy on when Scotland decides to whether to leave us all, in the backend of 2014? Or is that not important? Ey? Speak up – I can’t hear you Nige!

    • 349
      not a machine says:

      yes I think I have had rather enough of supporting glamourous but ruinous big socialism ….. they cannot even explain how it is supposed to work , or if they did you would know you had signed up for slavery

    • 356
      albacore says:

      Depends on what you mean by “members”
      Still, with the Tories’ burned-out embers
      Either definition would pertain
      With Dave directing them down the drain

  65. 326
    Honest view on Thompson's new rag says:

    Now, why isn’t the Grauniad / Indipendent dealt with like the NY Times ?


    - This is how to deal with the left. Geddit ?

  66. 333
    steve smith says:

    Have you listened to radio 5 lately it is liebour centric its like a 24 hr party political broadcast . They have replayed millibean’s statement about 5 times today is there no redress to this immense bias?

    • 337
      Shove your empty champagne up yer middle class arses says:

      I find having a good shite provides proper redress to Radio 5′s political output.

    • 359
      Mynza Pint says:

      Try the OFF switch. Works wonders in this household.

      • 373
        What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

        He/she can’t, because he/she really likes it, and titillates him/her. But has to say something to cleanse his/her mind for listening.

        Trick Cyclist bookshop sections are full of such.

  67. 336
    Observe our Politicians and do the opposite says:

    Some c unt in the Government apparently said today that to leave the EU would be lunacy. Well that fucking settles it…..run away from it as fast as your legs will carry you !

  68. 338
    oddly helpful says:

    You do not need them. Tear up your tv licence and send it to the collection agench with a polite explanation of your reasons.
    They will call to check that ‘Countdown’ isn’t blaring from your (unused) tv and will offer a refund of your overpaid licence fee.
    Youtube and fast broadband are all you need.
    Starving the overmighty has never been so eash, or so satisfying.

  69. 342
    • 343
      UK Watch says:

      Militwat is talking out his arse.

    • 347
      not a machine says:

      Eu opus posted , by no means comprehensive , just hope PM hasnt just been spad
      As for Milliband , mmm it was his times article that had me institches “we have learnt our lesson ” I thought really ?? some of us dont feel we have given it to you proper yet …… I mean surprised PM didnt launch it back as PMQs , Labour have learnt there lesson …. but everyone else is still paying for it ….
      I dont deny the EU is tough call , easy street in terms of PR if he fudges it , so just hope PM plays his cards skillfully , I havent quite conceded all is lost with him , yet even though whole quarters have passed with doubts . His and his cliques choice , all i want is a choice for me and the doubters.

    • 361
      albacore says:

      What? Dave’s great referendum’s only for advice
      Not an in-or-out vote. Well, now ain’t that real nice?
      So it’s not just on migrants they haven’t a clue
      Even on the E U they don’t know what to do
      The only thing certain, if we suggest getting out
      Is they’ll drag us in deeper, without the slightest doubt

  70. 344
    One for Hattie and the Labour Women... says:
  71. 360
    What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

    Interesting blog thread, I thought,

  72. 362
    What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

    And the shit is really going to hit the fan in coming weeks, ref Oaktree(!) – there is a list, seven indicated by the Daily Star. A certain Cee Arrr is in rumour control. JEEEZUUUUZ!

  73. 363
    What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

    Always liked this song – so very sweet,

    • 393
      What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

      just look the look in her eyes.

      Kiddies know, instinctively, you could say.

  74. 364
    What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

    And who is Aunt Gladys and Uncle Dick?

    I am not going to post any links, since I am a coward, and starting to get scared.

    But interesting Oz site that, though. Could be libelous. But it is in the Commonwealth though, not China at all.

    • 368
      What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

      Now you know why Olivia Neutron-Bomb left for the US, to run away – Grease?, maybe…

      • 394
        What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

        Rhossili at the end there, on the Gower….

  75. 367
    What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

    And why don’t these people learn some self-control, and hit the booze and fags (cigarettes!), like the rest of us.

  76. 369
    What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

    brit linkies

  77. 370
    What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

    …and, of couse, if you missed it,

  78. 371
    What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

    DISCLAIMER! above comments are for humour purposes, and does not reflect the way I carry on with life, apart from the fags and booze, fags as in cigarettes only, you ignorant of brit slang.

    Cut their balls off, I say, IF true and proven. Ah, now that is the tea and biscuits of it all, ey?

    So no hysteria burning witches in the streets, please. We have NI for that…

  79. 372
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    If ever you needed confirmation of iDave and Red Ed’s windfarm lunacy here it is. If Huhne escapes jail on the current charges he should sectioned for this corruption and waste of money


    Billions of taxpayers cash as well as increased power bills diverted to this exercise in colossal stupidity.

    Mustn’t forget Cameron’s father-in-law is making a bomb out of this corrupt scheme as well.

    Cnuts the whole lot of them

  80. 375
    • 377
      What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

      Did a good show on Marr not there anymore show yesterday, when he could get a word in edgeways when that tory Shepherd’s Bush beeb puppet allowed him covering for the dribbling Marr.

      WHAT! he’s had a stroke for godsakes – of course he is dribbling into his tea at the moment! – that is fucking reality, tories! Give me strength!

    • 380


      • 384
        What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

        you are being taken in in by your today petroleum Denis Thatcher’s, you and your friends shares in oil.

        You are so see through, you capitalist fascist, as a sun beam.

        Think sharp end modern technology, and not your bank wank balance, you blind blinkered total knob.

  81. 385
    ZZZ says:

    I see silly bollocks of the long moniker has been tossing off all night.

    • 389
      What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

      Say what you want, and I have only been up since 3:40am, to catch the ozzie afternoon crowd, if you really want to know, numbnuts.

  82. 386
    What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

    John Major never visited Wales Milford Havem when this happened, but it was outside London and his hole Brixton, so he might as well thought it as arab Jerusalem – he sent Princy Carlo instead, back in the nineties,

    • 387
      What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

      perhaps he thought, misguided, that the greyman tory would have been stoned on sight.

      • 388
        What Have the Romans done for us? Rubbish collections? Garbage! says:

        Met when I bumped into in Carmarthen Mary Steeburgen, the holywood wotsits, shopping, about twelve years ago. And she said why she was there was because her hubby Ted Danson was seeing how the oil clearup was going, years after. They were staying in the Royal ivy Bush in Carmarthen. Ted likes his environment issues, Cheers!

        Christ, Mary was stunning, and no, didn’t take tea with her, just a coffee.

  83. 399
    graham smith says:

    Its a tribute to ingenuity and enterprise in general that anybody at all actually gets paid for this column. Well done

  84. 400

    I need to know if the tooth fairy is going to be arrested?

Media Reader

Establishment Times Chums Appeasing Tory Europhiles | UKIP
Andrew Pierce v Owen Jones | MediaGuido
Michael Rosen’s Expert Opinions | MediaGuido
Metro Editor Leaves | Buzzfeed
Local News Stories That Rocked The World | Poke
An Evening at Scarfes Bar | Speccie
Another Miller Aide Invokes Leveson | Mail
A Bill to Censor the News | Daily Dot
AG Wants Power to Edit Online News Archives | Press Gazette
Analysis of Newspapers on Maria Miller | Roy Greenslade
Lutfur Rahman Paper Falls for April Fool | Ted Jeory

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads