January 10th, 2013

One-sie Nation: Ed and Dave Deny

The fall out from Nick Clegg’s onesie confession rumbles on with Ed Miliband’s office confirming to Guido that the Labour leader does not own a onesie. So it’s not a one-sie nation…

Downing Street are refusing to say whether the Prime Minister has one. It will probably be accidentally leaked in a couple of days…

Picture via @MirrorMcTague


UPDATE II: Downing Street sources say “it didn’t come up at the launch of men’s fashion week” when asked whether Dave has a onesie. Guido will take that as a no…


  1. 1
    A Droyd says:

    No – it’s a nonesie!

  2. 2
    Time 2 CTRL, ALT & DEL says:

    lets hope it wasnt a cast off from Mark Oaton

  3. 3

    Nice to see the MoD clean up after themselves
    This is Cawden beach on the east coast an abandoned bombing range
    watch it from 4.10 mins in !

  4. 4

    It’s a Onesie Nationie.

  5. 5
    Fiddling While Rome Burns says:

    He looks like the Tellytubby Tinky Winky or is it La La?

  6. 6
    Jackass Straw says:

    Ah ! Those Weapons of Mass Destruction !!

  7. 7
    Kebab Time says:

    Can Guido confirm that no-one in the Guy Newsroom own a “One-sie” ?

  8. 8

    Cameron is still hoping that someone will hug his hoodie

  9. 9
    Owen Jones says:

    Louis Walsh and me have identical onesie’s.

    Any thoughts on getting one for Eric Pickles ?

  10. 10
    Fun Boy Dave says:

    Are they good for bumming around in?

  11. 11
    Steve Miliband says:

    Apparently Gordon has a onesie made out of canvas. Oddly the arms are joined together behind the back.

  12. 12

    Automatic Updates

    The updates are being installed

    Overall Progress:


  13. 13
    I d on't nee d no doctor says:

    Guido, you really must do better.

  14. 14
  15. 15
    Gordon says:

    Look Sarah, I’ve got a twosie.

  16. 16
    Owen Jones says:

    It was PMQ’s yesterday so we were prepared for a big night and some surprises along the way. However, one shock we were not prepared for was the sight of Ed Balls in a onesie!

    After finding out he was still Shadow Chancellor, Ed Balls promised he would wear a onesie to fit in with the Shadow Cabinet who just can’t seem to get enough of theirs. He then turned up to Shadow Cabinet meetings in a bright red onesie!

    After PMQ’s yesterda, Ed Miliband said to Ed Balls: ‘We can be two chavs in a tracksuit!’.

  17. 17
    Moussa Koussa Mark 4 says:

    Come on !!!! Neo Nut Right Wing F*uckwits. There is a story for you all to get behind and support. The Flag F*ucks

    Full official name = The Conservative and Unionist Party of Great Britain and Northern Ireland…..LOL

    But still no comment from Dave / Guido / or any Neo Nut on the situation in the “North of Ireland”, specifically about the behaviour of the Tory backers The Ulster Looneysticks

  18. 18
    Omah the testmaker says:

    Open for specials – no job too large

  19. 19
    A Normal Person says:

    What a complete wally.

  20. 20

    When to Repot your Bonsai (one of a series)

    Bonsai cannot be repotted at any time of the year; for the majority of species, there is a small period of time during the Spring where the roots can be disturbed and pruned with reduced risk of danger to the tree’s health.

    It is not easy to immediately identify the different stages of Spring Buds until you are familiar with a particular species, as their appearance differs from species to species. However, the basic descriptions of a winter bud, a slightly swollen bud, a lengthening bud and an opening bud does hold throughout all species.

    Repotting can be safely carried out when the buds are swollen and extending, repotting is best carried out when the buds are extending.

    Repotting can be carried out when the buds are dormant but will result in a loss of vigour in the tree until it recovers the ‘energy’ lost from the roots. For this reason, winter repotting (repotting when the buds are still dormant) is not advised.

  21. 21
    It's my party so I will sware if I have to says:

    Happy Birthday me, I’m 51, and still got all my teeth – well, 30 actually, lost two in thporting accthidents, as you do.

    Right, what were we talking about? One-sie?!? What the fuck is that when it is at home? Heard of baggsie, as in that girl, to one’s mate, but one-sie surely must be an euphamysm, for cock? Tell me if I am wrong.

  22. 22
    Vote UKIP says:

    Only neo left-wing fuckwits support the Conservatives these days.

  23. 23
    A Normal Person says:

    Churchill looked like a knob in one too. Great guy, but a mystifying lack of a sense of dignity.

  24. 24
    It's my party so I will sware if I have to says:

    don’t you mean, as in progress

    .. .

  25. 25
    Lol says:

    Gordon had a babygro.

  26. 26
    bergen says:

    He called it his siren suit.

  27. 27
    It's my party so I will sware if I have to says:

    Got stacks down this way – Pendine beach has so much bullets and shells fired into the sea, you could sey up a lead mine there.

  28. 28
    Sarah says:

    No, Gordon, you’ve done a twosie…………. Nurse

  29. 29
    Ah! Monika 2013 +1 says:

    For Gays and Greens

  30. 30
  31. 31
    Bob Clark - mean old git in his Roller says:

    Is that in response to a planted question?

  32. 32
    It's my party so I will sware if I have to says:

    OOOHHHH – all over trousers, I get it now.

    Christ I’m getting slow.

  33. 33
    'uncle' says:

    I bet you say that to all the boys

  34. 34
    Jim "I'm such a patriot, I moved to Dubai" Davidson says:

    Fuck Tories

  35. 35

    8 Minutes Remaining. No, wait! Make that 52 minutes

    Is Microsoft now run by Jeremy Heywood?

  36. 36
  37. 37
    It's my party so I will sware if I have to says:

    …and we used to call them overalls in my day – seems car mechanics is not a popular hobby anymore.

    What’s with kiddies today, ey?

  38. 38
    Oy Vey says:

    A couple of people don’t own something?

    Yeah, web journalism is definitely the future

  39. 39
    None of the above says:

    Dave will indeed have on Onesie and but it will be assless

  40. 40
    Sir William says:

    Do they make them in Harris tweed?

  41. 41
    Dick Milliband says:

    We demand to know!

  42. 42
    arse fuck for freedom says:

    Dave, stick with your open crotch panties.

    Worn the wrong way round, of course.

  43. 43

    That displayed on this page when I first loaded it! Now it is just a strap-line. Wonder why? Can’t normally do pics here unless embedded in a tweet.

  44. 44
    The Daily Redtop says:


  45. 45
    Poundland Promo says:

    The one-sie is the perfect solution for busy single mums on benefits who haven’t got time to put on tops AND bottoms.

  46. 46

    No, but you can hang them on an arris rail.

  47. 47
    Raving Loon says:

    Is this what people mean by the Guido-isation of politics?

  48. 48
    It's my party so I will sware if I have to says:

    The main question we need to ask, is there a set of grandad’s all-over underwear under that, with the flap at the back held up by buttons, and put down when you go for a shit?

  49. 49
    It's my party so I will sware if I have to says:

    But it was designed for outside bogs then though, to take into account of cold winters, brassy balls and all that.

  50. 50
    George Osborne says:

    Growth will be very restricted this year.

  51. 51

    Nick Buckles is also Chairman of the Lingerie Internationale des Sociétés de Surveillance.

  52. 52

    Billy Smarts Circus has an old big top he could wear !

  53. 53

    Gordon : Sarah are youup for a twosie with Margaret Becket ?

  54. 54
    It's my party so I will sware if I have to says:

    My daughter at fourteen, seeing me in my grandads all over underwear, with the back flap down, forgotten to button up after a visit.

    And yes, she is my daughter, so behave!

  55. 55
  56. 56
    Affordable Minarets says:


  57. 57
    Polly, Yvette and Harriet says:

    You called?

  58. 58
    Tom Watson says:

    The tory party is riddled with nonsies.

  59. 59
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    Just saw that Jacqui Dromey on the DP. Dressed as a Lesbian. I know who wears the onesie in that house. It’s chainmail and razor blades around a welded gusset and asspiece.

  60. 60
    Chris Hunhe says:

    I believe I may be getting a bright orange one soon. Complete with shackles.

  61. 61
    It's my party so I will sware if I have to says:

    Wish they were. Good beach for august mackeral though – you can literally walk out up to your waist and pick them out by hand – but wear cloth gloves, they are slippery buggers.

  62. 62
    Paul from Paulsgrove says:

    But what happens if you trump inside a onesie

  63. 63
    Labour Party says:

    2nd hand gimp suit for sale

  64. 64
    P-a-ul from P-a-ulsgrove says:

    But what happens if you trump inside a onesie?

  65. 65
    It's my party so I will sware if I have to says:

    stunted growth, as George’s small penis.

  66. 66
    Trump Filled Onesie says:

  67. 67
    Porridge Watch says:

    No that’s in America Chris. In the Scrubs you will get a white one patterned with black arrows.

  68. 68
    Poundland Promo says:

    You can slip seamlessly from bed to sofa and back again without all the inconvenience of washing and dressing with our new range of one-sie’s.

  69. 69
    Popeye says:

    We plebs have always called them boiler suits, sad upbringing or out of touch?

  70. 70
    It's my party so I will sware if I have to says:

    It lingers.

  71. 71
    Shaaazzza says:

    Do you deliver, or can you pickup from sochial?

  72. 72
    Engineer says:

    Just look like badly made overalls to me.

  73. 73
    Poundland Promo says:

    I imagine it would be like shit sticking to a blanket.

  74. 74
    Raving Loon says:

    The only argument I hear these days in favour of the Tories is tactical voting. No-one votes Tory based on a genuine belief system anymore.

  75. 75
    lola says:

    A onesie is a boiler suit for wankers

  76. 76
    It's my party so I will sware if I have to says:

    quite dirty work sitting in front of a telly, shoving crisps and chocolates and porky-pola into one’s face, ey?

  77. 77
    99p world says:

    We deliver and you don’t just get one one-sie but two.

  78. 78
    'uncle' says:

    I bet you say that to all the boys.

  79. 79
    Shaaazzza says:

    Havent got 99p spare, Ill get brighthouse and see if they do em on t’never never

  80. 80
  81. 81
    'uncle' says:

    I bet you say that to all the boys.

  82. 82

    You can guess what is coming !
    Over a third of food we produce is thrown away according to the gov

    If a vegetable is misshaped then it cant be sold in a supermarket ,so it goes to landfill
    What do you think goes in to processed food ,prepared veg or even animal feed
    Egg processors send all their misshaped and cracked eggs to the food industry
    meat processors send the bones and offal to be mechanically reclaimed to make pies sausages and burgers and pet food

    I can see a Food Production tax coming here !

  83. 83
    NOM NOM NOM says:

  84. 84

    I am afraid to observe that a stud has already got to her.

  85. 85
    NOM NOM NOM says:


  86. 86
    'uncle' says:

    I bet you say that to all the boys.

  87. 87

    Less is more?

    The opposite of you, then…

  88. 88
    Ah ffs says:

    Suit our three delightful crapheads, the ones they call leaders of our three main political parties.

  89. 89
    any normal person says:

    sorry, must dash… myself against the rocks.

  90. 90
    'uncle' says:

    I bet you say that to all the boys.

  91. 91

    Hey! The one on the right is mine! Where did you get that pic?

  92. 92
    Edward Miliband Leader of the Opposition says:

    Whath thith??!!! Oneseis are becwoming popular? I musth borrow some workman’s overalls forthwith!!

  93. 93
    It's my party so I will sware if I have to says:

    had my dose last night Cat – looks you were well down the list. : )

    13 wasn’t it? Like watching paint dry, and gawd knows what gates was doing to my computer, as I looked on suspiciously.

  94. 94
    Busy Single mum says:

    I like the colour but not the fact I’ve still got to put my socks on.
    Got any with feet?

  95. 95
    None of the above says:

    Always suspected you were a ginger tom

  96. 96
  97. 97
    None of the above says:

    But which one is Dave, Nick, Gideon, or Ed?

  98. 98
    It's my party so I will sware if I have to says:

    desist – sit on my lap, and let me tell you a story…

  99. 99
    Kaboom Beast says:

    There is worse
    A huge ship full of HE off tyhe coast of kent that will cause a Tsunami if it detonates
    A gift from WW2

    Many years ago The Beast (PBUH) was caught grabbing an unexploded mortar round up on Sennybridge (Yes I am an idiot) and sticking it into my bergen

    So if any loony fancies making IEDs all they have to dois visit a MOD range
    Its scanalous

  100. 100
    Fat Abbott is Thick says:

    What is it with Labour and telling legislating people what they must do? Have they never heard of free will?

    ‘m looking foreward to the Goldilocks breakfast march where people openly eat porridge with treacle, sugar puffs and frosties in front of the plod.

    George had a pastie Tax and Abbott is now pressing for a Frostie ban.

  101. 101
    Nullbymouth says:

    Crying out to be photo shopped :D

  102. 102
    Old Oily Engineer says:

    Used to wear a blue cotton drill one. looked alright with my leather grained Tuff boots.

  103. 103
    Ad hominem says:

    Clegg is shit.

  104. 104
    Moussa Koussa Mark 4 says:

    if you have seen the size of fat boy fat Gudio recently….he would need a “Twosie”

  105. 105

    7 prisons to be closed will save taxpayer 60 million quid a year
    Really ! What a load of bollocks !
    The prisoners will then be rehoused in a new super prison !
    Labour costed the building of a new super prison at 1.5 billion quid before they scrapped the idea
    So how can spending 1.5 billion quid save 60 million a year ?
    by the time you break even on the 1.5 billion , the fucking prison will be to old and need rebuilding

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    BOE leaves interest rates unchanged .

    FTSE100 hardly moves.

  107. 107
    Anonymous says:

    nothing happens by chance…now we are being introduced to the world of work overalls and in due course babygro for adults by our masters.

    this is what the master race thinks of us. Either work like a slave or be kept as pets by them. let’s not forget pets sometimes are kept as babies by their masters.

  108. 108
    Casual Observer says:

    Fabianism. It’s all about what you should do.

  109. 109
    Flakey the Lepper says:

    The one on the right looks like my cock !

  110. 110
    It's my party so I will sware if I have to says:

    Right, I have spent enough time on this thread, time to discover what shite I have posted on earlier threads, but a song for George O, and his small penis,

  111. 111

    I had a Noilly Prat ;-)

  112. 112
    Baroness Warsi says:


  113. 113
    Diane Abbott says:

    In fact lets limit everything, then parents can simply buy an empty cardboard box and decide how much food is in it, not big business.

  114. 114
    toddling beast says:

    Just what is wrong with boxers and a T shirt???

    Wouldnt suprise in the least if Cameron also has a rocking horse and pampers
    The previous tenent probably left his

  115. 115
    FFS says:

    Parents can already decide how much sugar is in their kids fucking cereal by buying them non sugary cereal like porridge you stupid cow.

  116. 116

    The is–ought problem in meta-ethics as articulated by Scottish philosopher and historian David Hume (1711–76) is that many writers make claims about what ought to be on the basis of statements about what is. However, Hume found that there seems to be a significant difference between descriptive statements (about what is) and prescriptive or normative statements (about what ought to be), and it is not obvious how we can get from making descriptive statements to prescriptive. The is–ought problem is also known as Hume’s Law and Hume’s Guillotine.

  117. 117
    any normal person says:

    I’m presuming this photo was taken when Gordon Brown had a mullet.

  118. 118
    Occams Razor says:


  119. 119
    Moe Biddly O'bees says:

    A Clockwork Orange Droog suit my gorgeousness gorgesity made flesh.
    ‘When a man cannot chose, he ceases to be a man.’

  120. 120
    Wormwood Scrubs will be the New Des Res says:

    All the little Victorian lockups up and down the country cost a fortune to run. Given that most have prime locations their sales should easily pay for a modern efficient new prison.

  121. 121
    Governor beast says:

    A huge open air camp in Scothland is the answer
    Plenty of rainwater , throw dead deer over the wire once a week and make them listen to bagpipes and Jockanese voices over a tannoy all day
    How’s that for a detterent?

  122. 122
    Busy Single mum says:

    Do what you like you fat bitch,I give my kids sugar puffs sprinkled with sugar.

  123. 123
    Shaaazzza says:

    And a double carajillo fo t’bairns. Gets the heart started in the mornings

  124. 124
    Engineer says:

    You’re just smearing skilled people like fitters and welders as slaves and babies now. Grow up, sunshine.

  125. 125
    Getting the bunting out says:

    Bloody hell I thought it said Huhne for Guillotine.


  126. 126
    Getting the bunting out says:

    Do you know SC?

  127. 127

    William of Ockham
    Entities should not be multiplied beyond necessity.

    Note the last word.

    cf Karl Menger
    Law Against Miserliness: Entities must not be reduced to the point of inadequacy or
    It is vain to do with fewer what requires more

    They actually say the same thing if you have a clear understanding of the concept of necessity, something which would not apply to you in any event.

  128. 128
    Sa-vile says:

    Still prefer the shell suit ;-)

  129. 129
    Crap Northern club comedian says:

    “My wife said she were wearing stockings as a treat but I knew she just had tights on – when she farted her ankles swelled up.”

  130. 130
    Why did Dave resign as a Director of a FTSE100 company just before it delisted says:

    It is only right that in these times prisons should be cost neutral for the taxpayer.

    1. Prisoners should have unlimited 45 minute visits for which the charge will be £50 plus VAT

    2. Charges be intoduced for food and board.

  131. 131
    David 'tumbleweed' Cameron says:

    You don’t seriously expect to be given the opportunity to vote for a Tory, do you ?’

  132. 132
    Airey Belvoir says:

    How the hell can a clinically obese woman get to preach to the nation about the health risks of poor diet, and expect to be taken seriously? It defies belief.

  133. 133
  134. 134

    Just two or three months to sort the bounder out then.

  135. 135
    'uncle' says:

    I bet you say that to all the boys.

  136. 136
    Locke M Orlupp says:

    ‘Efficient’ ? Measured in felons/cubic metre ?

  137. 137
    B says:

    I bet you say that to all the boys.

  138. 138
    dick dastardardly mp says:

    It will probably be accidentally leaked in a couple of days…

    After a focus group session. And if he has one it will be deepest blue – with subdued yellow and green flecks

  139. 139
    dick dastardardly mp says:

    nice knickers

  140. 140
    dick dastardardly mp says:

    Almost as good as widders

  141. 141
    dick dastardardly mp says:

    ‘strap line’

    I misread that and had palpitations

  142. 142
    dick dastardardly mp says:

    Where I live they go shopping in their PJs. Given that many of the ladies tend to strain the boundaries of their attire (if not just the buttons) this can be simultaneously enlivening and sickening.

    This is a step up in sartorial elegance

    Could we get the speaker into one? And perhaps his good wife though I recommend she wears it upside down

  143. 143
    dick dastardardly mp says:

    I recommend getting a padlock for the zip asap

  144. 144
    dick dastardardly mp says:

    Parents can make that decision now. Its called having free choice to buy what you want.

  145. 145
    dick dastardardly mp says:

    It’s ‘er genes conditioned by years of oppression

  146. 146
  147. 147
    2013 is going to be bleak in sunderland as the benefit caps kick in says:

    Mark Oaten and Lord Boothby liked twosies!

  148. 148
    skorpian de rooftrouser says:

    Come on, the thought of the millitwat in a onesie is bloody funny

  149. 149
    Mynza pint says:

    If I didn’t wear one of them while servicing the car, my good lady would do her little nut at having to wash my best suit.

  150. 150
    Mynza pint says:

    Gooogel walmart shoppers….

  151. 151
    Riggsy Brown says:

    Winston Spencer took to wearing a one-piece (then called)`boiler suit’ for practical reasons. Sadly, he became incontinent in later life.

  152. 152
    Mynza pint says:

    You mean she can still get into her genes? Must shop at the XXXS counter as Asda then.

  153. 153
    Mynza pint says:

    Free treadmills too so they can generate their own heat for their tents and baked bean cookers.

  154. 154
    Mynza pint says:

    So why didn’t the fucking railways leave the fares unchanged too?

  155. 155

    Breaking ! Two thirds of MP’s think they are underpaid
    They want a basic of £86,250 +
    The dirty thieving fuckers have got some neck
    Time for the revolution , break out the piano wire !

  156. 156
    Sa-vile says:

    Spose he’ll be saying “Nobody knows where my Johnny has gone”

  157. 157
    Sa-vile says:

    So much for “we are all in it together” – some are in it more than others – and some have their trotters in the trough
    MumsNet: MPs allowed to claim £160 on groceries a week when DLA is only £77 per week
    MPs allowed to claim £160 on groceries a week when DLA is-only £77 per week

  158. 158
    Mdm DeFarge says:

    Churchill’s version was called a siren suit and you put it on when you had to make a quick exit for the bomb shelters in WW2. Useful when the brown stuff hits the fan.

  159. 159
    MB. says:

    Been wondering myself what all the fuss is about them, standard dress for men in the Western Isles for many years usually with a pair of welly boots.

  160. 160
    Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

    Bournemouth will be next.

  161. 161

    Not suited to male mp’s as there is no anal access flap

  162. 162
    Gary Jones says:

    Hitler was better dressed than Churchill

  163. 163
    Reap what you Sow my Country says:

    Modern pic of her uncle, if you have comment reply clicked, or look back here, my gaughter getting on a triple decker bus, somewhere in the world where she works now – think it is the ballerics these days, even now,

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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