January 2nd, 2013

Bell Does Not Have the Ring of Truth

An early contender for the funniest quote of 2013, spinmeister Lord Bell has been musing on lobbying and PR:

 ‘Although people constantly accuse us of being the most evil, corrupt sons of the devil, we aren’t. We are actually the most truthful people in the world, because we know that the truth works.’

Rewind back to November 1977  though and Tim Bell himself claims that he was not telling the truth after he was charged with “wilfully, openly, lewdly and obscenely” exposing himself “with intent to insult a female” under Section 4 of the 1824 Vagrancy Act. He was found guilty and fined £50 by Hampstead Magistrates Court after a solo erotic incident visible at his bathroom window. According to his biographer Mark Hollingsworth, Bell “admitted the conviction but denied that the event took place. He confided to a colleague that his lawyers, Butcher Brooks and Co. advised him to plead guilty to avoid a scandal.” Was he guilty – as he claimed – or not? Is that “how the truth works”?


  1. 1
    Clarence Mitchell says:

    He’s right !


  2. 2
    Kebab Time says:

    Is he a bit of a “Bell-end” then?


  3. 3
    Ed Megashambles says:

    An interesting approach to defending yourself! I might try it too.


  4. 4
    Nik says:

    There’s nothing like dragging up a 35-year old bit of tittle-tattle, is there.

    This used to be an insightful blog of political intrigue, now it’s just muck-raking.


  5. 5
  6. 8
    Gonk III says:

    Fine word, Lewd. Going to use it much more in 2013. Along with wrench.


  7. 9
    I'm looking out my window bell end says:

    It never happened, slap,slap,slap, groan, groan, spluuuuuurt


  8. 10
    Perverts R Us says:

    What a disgusting perv.


  9. 11
    Seasons Wishes says:

    A putrid New Year to all liblabcons.


  10. 13
    Bell Ringer says:


  11. 14
    Jess The Dog says:

    Is this sort of onanistic behaviour obligatory to enter politics? He is literally, as well as metaphorically, a “wanker”!


  12. 16
    Rabid right says:

    Hi righties. How’s it in your dark and venal world today?


    • 21
      Flacid Left says:

      What’s wrong, can’t get it up?


    • 22
      Engineer says:

      Reality based, and somewhat debt-mired, mainly because of a surfeit of lefty policies.

      Would you be kind enough to make your imaginary magic money tree a reality so that we can solve the western world’s economic woes? No? Oh well, we’ll just have to try earning more and spending less, then.


  13. 17
    Howard M says:

    prison works!

    believe me


  14. 18
    Owen Jones says:

    Rail prices increase 10% in 2 days. Allowing for compound interest, economists predict London-Guildford season ticket to hit £2bn by Easter.


  15. 19
    EU Watch says:

    Was he waving his dick, or just looking out the window ?

    Commonwealth is looking good for trade:



  16. 20
    John Mann says:

    Shocking !


  17. 23
    solicitor says:

    I cannot believe that after dropping his trousers to expose his chipolata he had the gall to employ a firm called Butcher Brooks and Co.


  18. 27
    Skorpian De Rooftrouser says:

    To be fair this is typical behaviour of anyone involved within Westminster


  19. 30
    Tony Blair says:

    Gee whiz!…I think this story, is well…gonna have a kinda…swell ending!


  20. 31
    David Cameron says:

    This is true,I was that man !

    I was walking along the main high street today when a girl approached me,
    “Hi, you’ve got some toilet roll sticking out of your trousers,” she said giggling.

    I looked down and there it was, waving and blowing in the breeze.
    “Thanks darling, you’ve saved me some embarrassment,” I said.

    “One question,” she said “how the fuck did you manage to get 4 meters of toilet roll caught in your zip?”


  21. 32
    Aydodge E. Scheisster QC says:

    Oh sure, plead guilty to waving willy from your window and pay the 50 quid and get it over with ‘coz you can’t win and it costs too much for a good silk to get you a walk on the charge. Just make sure you don’t end up on some Sex Offenders’ Registry years later, right up there with the nonces and r*a*p*i*s*t*s and sodomists: “So, Lord Bell, there’s been a spate of sexual assaults in the neighbourhood, and, as good plod, we need to ascertain the whereabouts of all convicted sex offenders at the time and place of the offences in question– you need not answer our questions, as you are not currently being placed under arrest and you are not subject to the admonition that silence may harm you, should you go to trial, but you will continue to remain an active suspect, subject to further questioning, if you decline…”


  22. 35
    Westminster Gossip says:

    If you plead guilty, you are guilty – low life!


    • 40
      HMMM says:

      I pled guilty, but I am really innocent, taken on solicitors advice only and if that’s not good enough I can feel a panic attack coming on and now feel much too unwell to attend a court of law.


  23. 37
    Ian E says:

    Of course the truth works – tell a politician you can guarantee him a lucrative job after his retirement and, if he believes you, you have his vote!


  24. 42
    Nigel Farage (pronounced faridge) says:

    F*ck the truth as long as i am free


  25. 43
    nambawan pikinini bilong Misis kwin says:

    What a bell end


  26. 46
    Jimmy says:

    “He confided to a colleague that his lawyers, Butcher Brooks and Co. advised him to plead guilty to avoid a scandal.”

    If true (and who would doubt the word of a friend of Thatch) then this is s serious allegation of misconduct against his solicitors which I trust will be investigated with all speed.


  27. 47
    the book of record guinnesses says:

    ‘concert parties’ in rigged takeovers

    that doesn’t ring a Bell either


  28. 51
    Anonymous says:

    My first job was at Saatchis and Tim Bell in the early 1970s was the handsomest man I’d ever seen — blond hair and blue eyes — real film star looks. He’d have had to be a saint not to have taken advantage of them a little bit.

    And anyway it was the decadent 70s in all their glamorous glory. Not like now living under the Roundheads — Christ we’ve even got Guido and the Labour party behaving like Witchfinder General!


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