December 24th, 2012

Happy Christmas: From the Guy News Team

This year, while you’re sitting warm around the fire, opening your presents or tucking into your Christmas dinner, spare a thought for the poor unpaid interns at the New Statesman. Guido has sent them a much-needed food package, after all they won’t be receiving any charity from their Scrooge-worthy proprietor Mr Danson (net worth, £310 million). Happy Christmas from everyone at the Guido Fawkes blog, see you next year…


  1. 1
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Happy Christmas, and best wishes to all my young female fans. Boaz and Jachin.

  2. 2
    VEE6 says:

    Merry Christmas from out here in Doha.

  3. 3
    Aaron D Highside says:

    Happy Christmas, Guido and thanks!

    • 53
      food parcels for the obese kids of britain! says:

      Yeah, we all needed a reminder of millionaire pop stars getting off on poverty.

      • 226
        They are all at it says:

        Getting all preachy about poverty is a coping mechanism for spoiled millionaire pop stars due to the copious amounts of coke they snort. Almost everyone in the biz is doing it.

  4. 4
    Dennis McShane's Shed says:

    Indeed, a Merry Christmas to one and all.

    • 171
      From the heart says:

      I send my sincere wishes for a pox ridden family Christmas to all like yourself Denis.

      Take a bow Blair, Brown, Harman, Vaz, Blears, Balls, Millipedes, ….

      • 397
        I Fist my own Arse by Using my Own Head says:

        Yes please bring me all their heads on a plate, so I can piss & shit on them.

        Then take photos and post on Guido, to keep all you bloggers happy. Ho Ho Ho

        And yes I have been drinking osifer hic hic

        Merry X to all

  5. 5
    God's Holy Trousers says:

    Guido a Happy Christmas to you and yours and all the contributors here. Even the deluded lefty trolls. Thanks for all the entertainment.

    • 7
      Rufus Stone says:

      May I echo your comments. This blog helps maintain my sanity (i.e. remaining non-socialist)

      • 130
        CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

        If you haven’t got narcissistic personality disorder then you’re unlikely to become clinically marxist.

    • 333
      bergen says:

      Yes. A good one to all-and a dodgy oyster to Lord Patten.

      That “wife beating” press conference was one for the archive. His hatred and contempt for the sort who do not show him sufficient reverence was wonderful to behold and a highlight of 2012.

      • 378
        Ex-Voter says:

        Patton is the caricature of what is wrong. Not for his stupid answer, that silenced the room, but for his 2 attacks against the questioner.

        Kill the messenger is the the sign of a dictator. “Do not bring me crap or I will have your head”. “Only bring me what I want to know”. This attitude must be stopped. Typical of a trustee of a UK institution. There are many more. The whole hands over the ears stance is how these organizations get away with murder.

        Happy Christmas/holiday and let the new year bring some of what we all want.

        (If we had everything, we would have nothing)

    • 398
      Lefty Troll says:

      Quite right too. Now look forwards to Dave’s Pants & George’s Butt-wipe taking the UK back 100 years.

      • 557
        Fatty Pang and his Four Pensions says:

        Mr Ex-voter you sound bitter. Become a fat bulbous amorphous mass of protoplasm like me – all you need is 4 pensions, £110k pa and a love of oysters . Slurp slurp

  6. 6
    Backwoodsman says:

    Have a great Christmas, Guido, Neo and all the regulars.
    Another great year making the little leftie piggies squeal !

  7. 8
  8. 9
    PissedasaParrot says:

    Have a great Christmas and a lucky 2013 to everyone…cheers

    • 236
      Humbug says:

      ‘to everyone’ p-as-a-p?

      Surely not the cretinous yahoos who make it so clear that they feel superior to us in the HoC?

      To them, surely, sincerest wishes for their most horribly ruinous cancered Christmas ever.

  9. 10
    Invisibly shocked member of the publlc says:

    A huge thank-you to Guido and team, and of course to all contributors to this site. Still the best! No judge-led inquiry is needed.

  10. 11

    I think your sympathy might be mis-placed, as I expect those unpaid interns are mostly the progeny of Champagne socialists who are happy to fund their offspring just to get them out of bed 5 days a week.
    Merry Christmas to all those I have jousted with during the year, and I hope the lefty trolls and other supporters of the Noble Cause Corruption that is Socialism in practice get what they deserve in the coming year.

    • 131
      CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

      A tax on trusts over a certain sum and higher rate income tax on any money leaving them might solve the problems caused by parental welfare states.

  11. 12

    Carúl Inis Córthaidh (aka The Wexford Carol)

    Ó, tagaig’ uile is adhraigí
    An leanbh cneasta sa chró ‘na luí
    Is cuimhnígí ar ghrá an Rí
    A thug dár saoradh anocht an Naí.
    ‘S a Mhuire Mháthair i bParrthas Dé,
    Ar chlann bhocht Éabha guigh ‘nois go caomh,
    Is doras an chró na dún go deo
    Go n-adhram’ feasta Mac Mhuire Ógh.

    I mBeithil thoir i lár na hoích’
    Ba chlos an deascéala d’aoirí,
    Go follas don saol ón spéir go binn
    Bhí aingle ‘canadh ó rinn go rinn.
    “Ghluaisig’ go beo,” dúirt Aingeal Dé,
    “Go Beithil sall is gheobhaidh sibh É
    ‘Na luí go séimh i mainséar féir,
    Siúd É an Meisias a ghráigh an saol.”


    Haven’t a clue what it means but have a good one! :-D

  12. 13
    VoteUkip says:

    Merry Christmas all. And to all those poor people relying on food-banks just remember that Britain spends more on family benefits and welfare than most European countries. Even more than Sweden.

    • 16
      Scally says:

      2013 – My new year’s resolution will be:
      1. give up fags
      2. give up booze
      3. give up gambling
      4. be nice to the other half
      5. get a job
      5. feed the (7 & counting) kids
      No, honestly, I mean it.

    • 133
      CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

      It’s because Britain extorts more that the feckless depend more.

  13. 15
  14. 21
    Owen jones says:

    comrades – up the revolution proles rise up against Christmas that pagan peer to peer giving festival. lets replace all presents from each other with presents from the state in the name of equality and make sure no poor child goes without…..

  15. 22
    restore the monasteries says:

    Merry Christmas,I hope i find something to moan about in new year.!!!!
    This is a brilliant platform to vent ones spleen,long may it continue,
    thank you to those that make it possible……..

  16. 23
    nellnewman says:

    Merry Christmas folks and hope you all have a Fantastic New Year .

    And thanks Guido and Neo for all your hard work through the past year exposing all those politicians as gods with clay feet.

    Now I’m off to start the cooking for tonight’s Christmas Eve dinner.

    • 252
      Expat Geordie says:

      Christmas EVE dinner, Nell?

      I didn’t know that you were Polish.

    • 538
      Rat's arse says:

      Happy Christmas Nell, SC, Kebab, Moniker – in fact ALL OF YOU! If I ever feel a bit down, this blog cheers me up – especially Jimmy & Anonymong!

      Peaceful 2013 to you all.

      Thanks Guido & Harry too! :)

  17. 26
    Anonymous says:

    Ugly bunch of sick fuckers.

  18. 27
    Mad Mags Moran says:

    Is it Easter?

  19. 28
    Can't use me old moniker says:

    Merry Christmas, to guido, and all.

  20. 29
    BBC mong says:

    We at the BBC would like to wish you all

    A happy Winterville

    2013 means we are closer than ever to getting the lovely Ed Miliband and Labour back in power.

  21. 32
    Me says:

    Merry Christmas everyone.

  22. 34
    Grommit says:

    OH was miming

  23. 39
    Who says:

    “An 86-year-old woman has been robbed by a mugger of her life savings and money she won at a casino as she returned home from a night out around 02:35 GMT on Sunday.”

    I would!

  24. 41
    Fatty Pang and his Four Pensions says:

    Joyeux Noel to my many supporters on this blog.

    Off to lunch – 12 oysters champers followed by poached turbot washed down with Chablis

    • 155
      it will be even bleaker this xmas in sunderland with only o says:

      You fat bastard!

    • 292
      Cicero says:

      Just a snack today then?

      • 306
        Fatty Pang and his Four Pensions says:

        Many thanks for your kind words Mr Sunderland. Where is this Sunderland? Do you have oysters in the vicinity ?

        • 312
          Fatty Pang and his Four Pensions says:

          Mr Cicero I confuse you with Cassius who was underfed and carried a dagger.

          I myself have my main meal in the evening so am incommunicado between 1830 and 2200 when we down forks.

        • 335
          it will be ven bleaker in sunderland now that xmas has gone and you have to pay the tally man says:

          Yeah strawberry oysters three for a pound in Morrisons the plebs love them!

  25. 42
    WANKER WATCH says:

    Sky News Thousands of Americans are signing an on line petition to have Piers Morgan deported from the US after his rant at the NRA’s top man saying he was stupid and didn’t give a damn about the murder rate
    over 30,000 have already signed
    by all means deport him but please don’t send the useless fucker back here

    • 47
      Hack says:

      I want him back here. There are a few things he should be answering questions about.

    • 129
      NRA says:

      Soon it may be worth pointing out that the number of people who signed the petition is greater than the number of those whose lives are claimed by firearms each year. Already there is a 3 to 1 for each gun related homicide to kick him out. The next real target is to exceed his viewing figures.

    • 147
      Chris Bryant says:

      When a guest in another country you should keep your thoughts to yourself. I guess having such a big gob, being so arrogant and opinionated, makes it extremely difficult for Piers Morgan

    • 231
      MB. says:

      Obama will have to be careful what he says, the type of nuts who are members of the NRA are probably the same ones who don’t believe he is American.

  26. 44
    A taxpayer says:

    Happy Christmas to everyone who isn’t a thieving MP or one of their troughing relatives

  27. 45
    • 74
      Bernie Hogan Bogan says:

      It is outrageous to accuse the Met of corruption and being an extension of masonic power and influence. I will fight this until the problem goes away and the media have forgotten about it. Boaz.

      • 191
        Blowing Whistles says:

        I am going to recheck that picture published in the gruniads G2 supplement on Wednesday January 29th 1997 – I am sure you’re in it with your apron on – and I think Ian Blair is there too at the very back of the pic.

        Bunch of big girlies blouses wearing aprons! – they have to hunt in packs because they’re all individual “losers”.

  28. 49
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    Mark Williams-Thomas ‏@mwilliamsthomas
    Has anyone captured the full Paul Daniels blog before he deleted it?It is from his blog that media reports are being made. #Savile
    Expand Reply Retweet Favorite

  29. 50
    knickers, knackers and knockers says:

    Er, is that it? BTW what the fuck is Owen Jones doing on this vid?

    See all you other Guido junkies, tumbleweeders and saddos tomorrow when the boredom kicks in.

  30. 55
    Anonymous says:

    Looks like that fucking nazi diva OH tried to highjack the proceedings again.

  31. 58
    Armando says:

    is that my double on the right hand side?

  32. 59
    Engineer says:

    May you, Mrs Fawkes and the Fawkettes, and the Guy Newsroom team have a peaceful Christmas, Guido; with just sufficient liquid sunshine to keep things relaxed.

    Ditto the saner regulars. May the trolls just be peaceful for a while.

  33. 62
    Owen Jones says:

    A friend with weed is a friend indeed,and Guido ,you’re such a friend.

    • 67
      Anonymous Anonymous says:

      Owen Jones, Che Guevara for the under 5′s.

      • 97
        Archie says:

        + several thousand!

      • 190
        Fish says:

        Head of the CSWP – Children’s Socialist Workers Party. Actually that’s a bit too close to the truth.

        • 255
          Expat Geordie says:

          That is wrong on so many levels, but Socialist Worker is probably the biggest oxymoron there.

          • it will be ven bleaker in sunderland now that xmas has gone and you have to pay the tally man says:

            A dose of salts wouldnt work these bastards quite a few of them teach at Newcastle university.

          • Expat Geordie says:

            Would that be the university or the “university”? I’ve had friends at both, but it was a long time ago.

  34. 65
    HMMM says:

    Seasons greetings to all (well to most contributors), from me and the ghosts of monikers past and a special xmas message from Ruby to our ruling elite of all political persuasions, the BBC and all other quangos, time servers and jobsworths.

  35. 68
    Dan Saffend says:

    Haha! Superb!!

    F*ck ‘em, by the way.

  36. 69
    Alvin the Chipmunk says:

    I still want a hula hoop!

  37. 75
    Owen Jones says:

    I know that I speak for all posters on this blog,and Galway Guido,when I raise my glass to Ed Miliband and wish him a very happy birthday today.

    • 90
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      Oh yeah. Many happy returns of the day, Ed. Try to act appreciative when Justine gives you yet another necktie. (Wives– you can’t live with ‘em, and you can’t commit suicide. I tell a porky. You CAN top yourself.)

  38. 76
    the original lady penelope pitstop before my monicker got pinched says:

    happy christmas guido and posters looking forward to lots more gossip next year x

  39. 79
    • 88
      Incapable Vince says:

      It’s in 2014 , but we FibDems would like more, and the sooner the better.

      P.S. I should be FibDem leader in 2014.

      • 99
        WANKER WATCH says:

        She also looks like she is smelling shit !

      • 132
        Handycock Immigrant Trafficker says:

        Hear hear. I could not agree more. Bring ‘em in and send ‘em to Portsmouth. Here is a video christmas present for all my young female fans. Don;’t whatever you do read the comments underneath from the disgruntled people of Portsmouth about the immigration policies I have implemented in secret. Boaz.

      • 227
        Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

        Who the F*** does she think she is. Is she someone famous or an expert on imigration or an economics expert that she thinks her opinion is much more important than that of the man or woman in the street

        If she is so bothered about it why doesn’t she let a couple of Rumanian families come and live in her spare room or camp in her garden.

        • 338
          it will be ven bleaker in sunderland now that xmas has gone and you have to pay the tally man says:

          She would run a thousand miles if they did move near her!

      • 304
        Bluto says:

        Well I hope you will enjoy “needing” the 29 million Romanian and Bulgarian immigrants in their shanties outside every English town and village, the accompanying crime wave and the benefits bill that will destroy our economy completely you stupid cow.

        • 769
          bergen says:

          The Tories should put this woman’s quote on their posters in all their marginal Libdem seats at the next election. I think she will find that the public’s desire to redistribute the little wealth left with the incoming poor of Eastern Europe is considerably less than she thinks.

  40. 81
    Sir William W says:

    Nollaig shona dhuit, Guido!

  41. 83
    The Great British Public says:

    To all the troughers, the expenses fidders, the liars, the cheats, the asset-stripping and tax avoiding corporations, the champagne-swilling union bosses and ‘socialist’ columnists, the thieves, the traitors and the hypocrites everywhere, be you on the right or the left, a merry Winterval to you all, and here’s to more of the same in the New Year.

  42. 93
    Dolly the Ewe says:

    Baa humbug.

  43. 94
    Anonymous says:

    And a Merry Christmas from me and all my other usernames, plus best wishes for a successful and uncensored 2013 (from a voice of sanity in our disastrously leftie country).

  44. 96
    Tom Watson says:

    Happy Christmas you old queen, although you will fucking regret it.

  45. 98
    Nigel Farage says:

    Ich komme…….Ich komme……Ich komme

  46. 100
    Nick Clegg says:

    Christmas is so last year.

    Happy Winterval

  47. 102
    Simon Cowell says:

    WTF is that video? It’s a car crash

  48. 104
    Kebab Time says:

    Is anyone still here?

    Hello… Heeellllooooo….anyone?

    • 108
      Owen Jones says:

      I’m free !!

      On a serious topic…Council Tax rises next April for the workers.

      This may be the straw that breaks the camels back but it will take a concerted effort from both unions and Labour politicians joining the likes of Un-cut and other protest groups. The arrogance of this current crop of coalition politicians is beyond belief when they as well as Labour politicians know there are other ways to cut this farcical fictitious well of debt. The Majority of this so called debt is interest levied by corrupt bankrupt bankers another swathe of the problem is taxes being spirited away by multi national companies with the aid of the tax office. Then there is the amount of profit taken out of the country by utility companies overcharging customers to subsidise their own homeland customers.

    • 515
      Kebab Time must go says:

      for the 500th time, fuck off

  49. 107
    One Term Dave says:

    Merry Chrismas to all my supporters.Be reassured that in the New Year I’ll be announcing some new policies to lose the election.

  50. 109
    Mr G Fawkes says:


  51. 110
    And what is a fantasstic constituent Chuky? says:
  52. 112
    dick dastardardly mp says:

    The only person at Downing Street who is reliable is Larry the Cat

    • 145
      Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

      I thought he was hopeless at catching vermin.

      • 177
        Larry says:

        Who told you that? The plod at the gate? One of them tried to kick me. I demand an independent judge-led inquiry.

  53. 114
    Jeremy Clarkson is my hero says:

  54. 116
    Lies, ineptness, lies, corruption, oh the beautiful left at Xmas says:

    Merry Christmas from Labourland where two weeks ago they were outside the supermarkets getting food off people to fill the food banks, the last few days the car parks are full , the supermarkets can’t fill the shelves fast enough, even queues of lorry’s full of food waiting to be delivered to the same supermarkets, along with excerpts from the Queens speech, tomorrow we won’t have to sit around the telly waiting for the good ladies speeches, what a Christmas.

    • 126
      @Sally Bercow says:

      While you are enjoying Christmas please remember all those kids who will only be getting a Nintendo DS and not the Nintendo DS 3D this year *Sad face*

  55. 119
    Hypocrisy in abundance says:

    Why do the citizens of Londonistan go out shopping at midnight?

    FFS the shops will only be shut tomorrow except in the muzlim quarters and all will be open again the next day.

    And don’t retailers have a cheek complaining about shops not being allowed to stay open longer this Sunday when their intent is to make wonga from a Christian festival.

    Then there is David Homosexual marriage Cameron quoting from the bible.

    • 122
      @Pontifex says:

      And lo he said unto me,cum on the little children and sell plastic tat in thine church to pay for the Vatican’s fine furnishings.

    • 124
      Well it's a thought says:

      Business is business my son.

      • 182
        Damned Impertinent Questions says:

        Bishop Facks: So, Father. Do you ever have any doubts about the religious life? Is your faith ever tested? Anything you would be worried about? Any doubts you’ve been having about any aspects of belief? Anything like that?

        Father Dougal McGuire: Well, you know the way God made us all, right? And he’s looking down at us from heaven and everything? And then his son came down and saved everyone and all that? And when we die we’re all going to go to heaven?
        Well, that’s the bit I have trouble with

    • 146
      CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

      Why is it cheeky? Do you expect us to believe there’s something immoral or wrong about making money? Do they give retailers a business rates and rent holiday on these days too?

    • 251
      Bander Snatche says:

      Gay Marriage! Is B*GGERY still grounds for divorce, or would that just be for regular marriage?

      • 640
        bandersnatch says:

        What a sheltered married life you must have led Bander Snatche… or maybe you are wedded to the single state.

        Moreover, I often feel that imitation is the surest sign of lack of imagination.

  56. 123
    Well it's a thought says:

    Merry Christmas from all of this years monikers that I used, hope you all have a great time and are fit and ready for the lies, theft, corruption from our garbage MPs who by the grace of god and a good British temperament are still here to lie and steal from us next year, don’t worry we will remember.

    • 154
      it will be even bleaker this xmas in sunderland with only o says:

      They will all be holidaying in warmer climes thinking of imaginative ways to rob us next year,Moran will be in Spain laughing her c..t off and McShame will trolling around for all the freebies he can get,happy days

    • 172

      Happy Christmas Wiat!

      Any clues as to the other monikers that I might remember?


  57. 125
    D L George says:

    Have a good Christmas everybody. Peace to all men etc.

    In these difficult times I shall also raise a glass to Beeboids, Guardianistas and the rest of the rabid left, some of whom are down to their last crate or two of bubbly.

  58. 127
    BBC Fail says:

    There was a failure of the party line on the BBC news earlier.

    They interviewed a homeless person at a crisis center and asked him why the council would not home him. He told them straight, he’s not pregnant, he’s not an illegal immigrant, he’s white and speaks perfect English and so does not get a tick in any box. Needless to say the BBC have not repeated the interview.

    • 139
      Bollocks Broadcasting Corporation says:

      Ooops! Our editorial team had too much Cristmas bolly.

      • 196
        More BBC Bollocks at Xmas says:

        Not to worry they have a “Special OB” for Christmas Morning from a Labour constituency oop North showing masses of disabled living in cardboard boxes and queueing up at soup kitchens because of the nasty Tories benefits cuts which means that they cannot afford to rent anywhere as rents are well over £26,000 per year that housing benefit has been reduced to(which actually don’t happen until April 2013….and don’t affect the disabled anyway).

        Later they will be at a Food Bank where the “poor” are collecting food . Whilst their “starving ” kids show off their latest Apple i-pad……………..

        • 339
          it will be ven bleaker in sunderland now that xmas has gone and you have to pay the tally man says:

          How did you know the BEEB are here for xmas day?

    • 331
      Clare Balding Broadcaster says:

      Why would they broadcast the opinions of someone who does not appeal to the lesbian class?

    • 346
      The Left says:

      The correct expression is hideously white, luvvie.

  59. 135

    You bunch of absolute bastards!

    You bolus of cnunts!

    You could not even help an old mate in a spot of difficulty out, could you?

    I am having the focking pants sued off me and not one of you fockers has hit my focking donate button yet.

    Shame on all of you, every one!

  60. 137
    RetardEd says:

    A super Christmas to all our postal voters. We would never survive without you.

    • 148
      Roscoe Rules says:

      Ed can you please advise,
      The ‘Comedian’ Marcus Brigstocke has a misshapen head and isn’t very funny.
      Is he a token retard or what?

  61. 142
    dick dastardardly mp says:

    I was very depressed today

    I saw that Andrew Mitchell said that he was so upset at what happened to him he almost emigrated

    So near yet so far, I thought

    • 157
      Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

      I’m thinking of emigrating to Africa as I’ve forgotten where Parliament is located.

    • 193
      albacore says:

      Can’t understand why, at the hub of that web
      Has been pinned the apocalyptic word, “pleb”
      Then again, these days, cussing’s so de rigueur
      Maybe he should have called the cop his praetorian guard

      A merry Christmas to Guido, Neo and all.

  62. 143
    Owen Jones says:

    I’m excited about about Christimas I couldn’t sleep last night.
    I am so excited about what present I will get from my family and my boyfriend.

  63. 152
    it will be even bleaker this xmas in sunderland with only o says:

    Happy Xmas from Bleakland with its food banks,pound shops and sink estates cant wait to welcome our migrants from eastern europe next year no doubt bringing with them frankincence and myrrh also welcome to our new influx from Bangladesh,short order cokks,imams and taxi drivers.

  64. 161
    Rupert my Hero says:

    Britain is a better place because of Guido, everyone has earned a rest, and the rest have not….. so to all those a reading, you and yours, Have a good one with an even better New Year.

  65. 164
    Anonymous says:

    funniest comment on the site

    - goodness gracious Ed Balls a liar.

  66. 167
    How not to win friends or influence anyone... says:

    More on the petition:

    Kleindienst v. Mandel (1972) is the precedent which does not protect Piers right to be in the US.

    Surprising number of people tweeting from the UK expressing the opinion that they do not want him back.

    A qualified opinion:

    • 173
      Damned Impertinent Questions says:

      Unless under a request for extradition

      • 176
        How not to win friends or influence anyone... says:

        Now there is a thought. This way though, the UK government doesn’t have to pay the air fair.

        What is happening in America on this matter, is of course what should have happened here a long time ago. All should take note of that.

    • 175
      The Transatlantic Alliance says:

      Let’s send him to Syria

  67. 179
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Merry Christmas and happy New Year to all. I am glad to have added much content to the irony and satire herein – despite all the professional trolls and smearing – but hey I am flattered.

    BTW – hasn’t Huge Grant sold out by taking the pay off – rather than going all the way to Court – what a hypocrite?

    Pic of the year for me was – Ed getting splatted with the EGG.

    Don’t forget – “Freedom of Expression” – Article 19 Universal Declaration of Human Rights (1948)

    • 270
      Expat Geordie says:

      Merry Christmas BW.

      Hope that you don’t have it ruined by the dreaded lurgy that is doing the rounds along the south coast. I’ll raise a pint of Benylin to that one.

      • 416
        Blowing Whistles says:

        That ConFederate confederation bloke Mckeever has all his federation boys along the south coast – running for cover ‘n 5hitting their pantys at present – should be a good new year for getting a many more bent plod scalps. Some could ‘own up’ but when has a bent plod ever owned up eh!

  68. 180
    Wonderful Christmas News says:

    BBC still trying to make everyone believe that Miranda Hart is funny.

    • 183
      Owen Jones says:

      She is one of my Marxist comrades.

    • 188
      Well it's a thought says:

      Be easier for them to become Conservatives than make people believe she is sunny.

    • 195
      Comedy Watch says:

      She is as funny as stroke.

    • 197
      Who? says:

      Who is Miranda Hart? Seriously and I ain’t going to google her.

      • 207
        Agent Orange says:

        An impostor. I am the real Miranda.

      • 216
        She still ain't funny though says:

        She is super-posh mate ..even posher than Dave ….Her real name is Miranda Hart-Dyke and her father was Capt David Hart-Dyke RN Captain of HMS Coventry which was sunk in the Falklands and he was before retirement aide-de-camp to HMQ

        • 229
          MB. says:

          “What is less well known is that the statuesque star of Miranda and Call The Midwife is rather posh. Miranda has denied this on chat shows but it would be no surprise if her favourite bedtime reading was Burke’s Peerage and Baronetage, since her family history occupies several pages in the bible of the aristocracy and upper classes.”

          “Miranda descends from the Hart Dyke baronetcy which goes back to 1677. Her family tree is liberally sprinkled with those bastions of the upper classes, high-ranking army and navy officers and Anglican vicars. Indeed, her background suggests she should be in Downton Abbey!”

    • 201
      Operation Crossbow says:

      Amanda Fart, Sarah Milicvnt and Victoria Wood are about as funny as a concentration camp going offering 2 for 1 holidays.

      Women are generally not funny, well OK Hattie Harman, the Eagle brothers and the boy that Ed Balls married are funny, but that’s because of their haircuts, clothes and face gurning.

      • 208
        Basil says:

        Sybil Fawlty was about the only genuinely funny woman

      • 213
        Acorn Antiques Review says:

        Now c’mon …. don’t lump Victoria Wood with the other lot …..Victoria IS funny…she is way above the other two talent-wise ..she’s a writer,performer,comedienne,actress and musician….AND she was the first female comedienne to break into the major league along with Julie Walters in the 70/80′s

        • 244
          Eric Spikes says:

          Hattie was good fun too.

          ps Happy Whatever it is for you. hope Santa brings you just what you want.

        • 272
          Expat Geordie says:

          She wasn’t very funny last night though.

        • 642
          bandersnatch says:

          Victoria Wood is superb, and ‘Dinner Ladies’ is the best sit com bar none.
          Some people who are atheist can’t abide sublime church music simply because it was written under a religious impulse. Comics, male and female, from slapstick to satire are funny… if they are funny! If they make you laugh, or feel almost like laughing. Such people are valuable above rubies… IMHO politics rarely comes into it… Mind you the likes of Ben Elton being earnestly holier than leftie thou are T-E-D-I-O-U-S.

      • 265
        it will be even bleaker this xmas in sunderland with only o says:

        Miranda Hart is just about as funny as novirus,Clare Balding is another overated f….r

        • 325
          Clare Balding Broadcaster says:

          Miranda Hart is just about as funny as novirus,Clare Balding is another overated motherf….r and could be motherf….r

          FIFY Dahlin’

        • 748
          Wristmas Special says:

          Miranda Hart exemplifies just about everything that is wrong at the BBC. She’s dire.

    • 289
      "I'm Funny? Funny, How? Like A Clown, Here To Amuse You?" says:

      The “Miranda” is “the right to remain silent” caution on all the US-based cop shows.
      Would that Ms Hart-Dyke had exercised that right (no prizes for guessing the reason for her amputation of the trailer on her double-barrelled surname, as some might have questioned the punctuation of it, suggesting the hyphen be replaced by a comma).

      • 421
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Miranda is the moniker which Tony Bliar used in the toilets around westminster when he was passing himself off to his tricks.

        • 478
          You Always Knew Tony Was A Phoney says:

          Which suggests a devilish sense of humour on his part, does it not? “Miranda,” as in (A) “keep schtumm if we’re nicked,” or “Miranda,” as in (B) “O, brave new world, that has such people in it.” Or (C), all of the above. I’ll take a punter’s chance on (C). A devious little insect like him probably would find a name like that to be ever so cutesy, working on more than one level as it does.

    • 290
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Miranda is an award winning show. What award and from where. The show is watched by John Lewis types that wear Val Doonican jumpers, and laugh at anything not remotely funny.

    • 328
      Clare Balding Broadcaster says:

      Same with Ben Elton. Now Jo Brand there is talent!

    • 424
      Legal Eagle says:

      Miranda has the right to remain silent.

  69. 186
    How not to win friends or influence anyone... says:

    And in goes the big boot:

    Merry Christmas y’all.

    • 218
      Brooke Bond says:

      I thought it was because they didn’t like PG Tips ?

    • 332
      Adam Carolla says:

      Good one, Jezza. I’ll steal that one from you, just as I’ve stolen all the rest of your schtick. Aren’t I lucky not everyone in the US has BBC World on their cable and can watch Top Gear? Life is good! Now for some Man-gria! (Sangria w/ vodka.)

  70. 198
    Blowing Whistles says:

    “Narcissistic Personality Disorder – I see that that story has developed a bit more traction out there in the ‘free press’ … some of us had a good discussion about it all in yesterday blog. Hey Ho.

    • 206
      Not Blowing Whistles says:

      It is interesting that many have missed the controversy with NPD.

      It was meant to be dropped from DSM-V, but then was squeezed in under the newly formulated cluster B types. This will have an effect on insurance payouts.

      If one considers the condition and the impact it would have of removal (ignoring), one can see an odd kind of logic at work here. I guess someone didn’t want to push the narcissists into the histrionic category, and at the least keep the condition alive by formally recognizing it.

      • 221
        jaded jean says:

        The nature of “psychopathy” – “pathological narcissism”, “criminogenic behaviour” and Anti-Social Personality Disorder is currently highly complex and fraught – with some serious legal implications, as it lies at the heart of the prediction and management of offending behaviour, which, as The State is rolled back, and the Private Sector bids for business in probation and prisons etc, is going commercial. To see just how complex, and how controversial this all is, if you are interested, I suggest you look up some of the recent controversy in the professional literature between Hare and Newman vs Cooke and Skeem, which I hope makes anyone think twice about jumping to any conclusions.

        Part of the controversy lies in the fact that these checklists are based on a multiple correlation technique (a statistical (data reduction) computation) called “Factor Analysis”, but as many of the items themselves are intenSional (mentalistic verb based) rather than strictly behavioural (and none are physiological) it is hard to know what is really being reliably measured because of rater variability and reliability (they are TRAINED which begs some questions if you think about it). Factor Analysis itself has its own controversies (both here and in intelligence research), but the assessment of individuals by “experts” with respect to some of the checklist items on the PCL-R is problematic given their intenSional nature and because when used to predict re-offending, the very “Factor” (group of PCL-R checklist items basically) which one might think would be most useful, is in fact not so. As this checklist (and the training to use it professionally) is a key part of diagnostic work in the forensic field, especially across the Atlantic, for some, that can literally be a matter of life or death (in the USA), so this is an important issue.

        Most of the work on the odd physiology (such as the following), tends to suffer (like so much of this type of work with respect to other disorders) from a basic methodological problem of VERY small numbers of subjects drawn from a very low target group in the first place, along with quite a lot of difference in brains as a function of genetic diversity and life-span events (injuries) in the first place. As with climate “science”, reliable measurement is a major problem as our people making bold claims for attention and revenue. It happens everywhere.

      • 222
        Blair and Brown says:

        Lovely link. Us to a tee:
        “The central requirement for N.P.D. is a special kind of self-absorption: a grandiose sense of self, a serious miscalculation of one’s abilities and potential that is often accompanied by fantasies of greatness.”
        We missed yesterday’s posts because Gordon was working at the House of Commons as usual and I was visiting the troops somewhere.

  71. 199
    Labour, the Guardian and the BBC says:

    We welcome 20 million gypsies to England, diversity rules!

    • 200
      Rich bosses taking the piss says:

      So do we, more chance to exploit workers, force wages down and keep the white working class down.

    • 215
      a good reason to join UKIP says:

      Well at least UKIP members won’t have to foster their wayward children.

      • 233
        Well it's a thought says:

        Our Liebour friends will soon be competing for work and benefits with these people, the old saying what goes around comes around, is coming to the Labour voters soon, food banks will be the last of their problems, every town and city will have it’s new sh*thole to worry about, while Liebour millionaires make even more money on the backs of their Labour voters who will vote them in yet again.

        • 426
          Blowing Whistles says:

          When the EU implodes – we won’t have to fund the pensions of mandevilson and the clan of Kinnocios – Result!

          I want an in/out referendum “YESTERDAY” [In Billy Connelley lingo]

  72. 212
    The third dimension of Marge says:

    Of all shows, the Queen’s crimbo message is the last I can think of that would benefit from 3D.

    Are the BBC trying to make her look stupid again?

    • 257
      Operation Crossbow says:

      Actually it’s Sky that have done the presentation this year. Murdoch’s obsession with flogging shitty 3D that no one wants

      • 319
        Anonymous says:

        Queen seems very happy with 3D and her bling glasses.
        post jumping out of a helicopter and keeping an eye on someone’s gold (who own’s the treasury baby)…is their anything someone over 80 cannot do?

  73. 214
    Owen Jones says:

    Come the revolution the I will be chairman Owen Jones of the people’s republic of Britain.

  74. 217
    But the Taliban don't want to come to Britain Dave. says:
    • 225
      Aricolza Narzole says:

      Our armed forces would be a darned sight more use back in the UK dealing with traitors like Camoron.


      My guess is that when Camoron says ‘us’ he doesn’t mean those people who you and I think of as ‘us’.

      • 765
        Anonymous says:

        How do they “keep us safe” by being in the middle east and making enemies???
        They haven’t “kept us safe” since WW2! Quite the opposite, in fact.

    • 228
      Well it's a thought says:

      Instead of them being brave and in Afghanistan, lets have them home NOW, pissed and enjoying themselves with their families.

      • 243
        GORDON (your husband) says:

        How the fuck did this foetus faced C*nt get another top job after it was proven just what an untrustworthy liar he is ?

    • 234
      Piers Watch says:

      Maybe let them have some fun with Piers as well:

    • 241
      Damned Impertinent Questions says:

      Not staying for Christmas Dave?

    • 246

      If i had to buy my own plane tickets . i would never have set foot in the fuckin place

      Toodle pip

      PS boys , hurry home so i can get you off the payroll

    • 269
      The Libor party says:

      Why on Earth did the Tories get us into Afghanistan ?

      • 282
        CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

        The real question is this….

        Why are we nation building in tribal cultures that have NEVER been a nation, just an area of a map?

        Stupid. Bomb the taliban, arm the taliban opposition tribes, massacre the islamists. Let peoples build their own nations.

        • 291
          US Watch says:

          Partly imperialism, mainly oil and gas politics.

          Taliban will not demand that much in terms of tax for pipeline traffic flowing from Turkmenistan through to Pakistan as they are hardly likely to want to develop the nation that has been ‘built’.

          They will prove an effective deterrent for anyone who wants to mess with the pipeline or Opium production, and should be compliant with US and Pakistan government policy.

        • 303
          it will be even bleaker this xmas in sunderland with only o says:

          Lets get out if these f….s want to go back to the 6th century bc let them get on with it.

        • 321
          Anonymous says:

          bring back the troops. they have no business being in a foreign land.

  75. 220
    US Watch says:

    Ok – Now more people have voted in favor deportation than are killed by guns or automobiles each year in America.

    The implied logic of that statement may sound nonsensical, it may make for good soundbites.

  76. 224
    Unfortunate Person says:

    Christmas cancelled here due to norovirus.

  77. 238
    Owen Jones says:

    I’ve just about finished preparing the turkey for tomorrow, i’ve plucked it and stuffed it, now all i have to do is kill it…

  78. 253
    Herman van Rumboy says:

    Germany MUST pay for my budget increases

  79. 259
    Thatcher says:

    I’m going to croak any minute! And you’ll all have to pay for my state funeral.

    • 277
      it will be even bleaker this xmas in sunderland with only o says:

      Gladly Margeret you did wonders for this country since you left we have been governed by tossers

    • 383
      Ex miner says:

      State? State? You detested ‘The State’
      Organise your own ‘Private’ funeral.

      • 604
        Expat Geordie says:

        Sorry, but wasn’t it Tony Benn who shut down all the mines?

        And wasn’t it Blair and Brown who wrecked our manufacturing industry?

  80. 261
    BOB coCROWch says:


    • 276
      it will be even bleaker this xmas in sunderland with only o says:

      Do what Reagan did to the air traffic controllers sack the lot of them there will be thousands queing for the jobs

    • 639
      Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

      Just place the contracts for the driverless trains.

  81. 267
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:

    Merry Christmas all!

  82. 273
    Piers M UK Repartriation Welcoming Committee Says says:


    • 274
      Piers M UK Repartriation Welcoming Committee Says says:

      (View the TwitPic…)

    • 279
      Piss Organ says:

      Doesn’t anyone in the UK want me back ?

    • 318
      The Royal Spouse says:

      Why is that soldier wearing earings?

      • 512
        We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

        bastards, basterds, you sons of whores,

        Rifles, rifles? I shit rifles, Ma’am, with all due respect.

        • 513
          We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

          hop on a horse, one two and three – keep your weapon clean soldier, and your knife in your boot handy, if change magazine has no time. And plunge it in their nuts, always get’s them diverted from their own weapon, unlike stomach, and other body parts.

          • We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

            500? How about AD42, Britland, Oxbridge historical burning of the books tory fucks?

  83. 275
    Now that's tragic! says:

    Paul Daniels says schoolgirls would throw themselves at him in the 70s. Christ on a bike, that’s disgusting. Shocking poor taste on the girls’ part.

  84. 278
    NuLabour Legacy says:

    • 281
      Third Generation dole scum says:

      Great lady makes me proud to be British.

      • 297
        The Libor party says:

        Trapped on benefits – how we create a Client State and expand our electoral base.

      • 301
        it will be even bleaker this xmas in sunderland with only o says:

        Welcome to my world this maybe a spoof to some people its an everday occurrence in Bleakland.Work is a four letter word spelt f..k

        • 356
          Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

          Just think of the old days when you would have been doing some last minute shopping in a packed Binns.

          • My mad aunt is coming, and Uncle Pervert, for chrissy dinner, gawd 'elp us. says:

            Sounds Stoke, where the cups and saucers used to come from.

            Lazy cow syndrome starts at the top, and trickles down. Need a degree these days to flip hamburgers, or be Polish.

      • 345
        Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

        Looks like Portsmouth with a Birmingham accent. Thank God for true British people like this, otherwise I would never get elected. These benefit scroungers, immigrants and students in Portsmouth means even someone like me who cannot spell and has no education whatsoever can get elected to Parliament. Boaz.

        • 367
          My mad aunt is coming, and Uncle Pervert, for chrissy dinner, gawd 'elp us. says:

          Not good with brit accents, are you? You must be from inside the M25, and know your way to Gatwick for your hols in the sun/snow, and that is about it.

    • 307
      WVM says:

      Hehehe… but do they still get the £20 bonus at Christmas in their Giro?

  85. 283
    The Vicar says:

    I now pronounce you husband and husband

  86. 286
    Now that's tragic! says:

    Pàul Daniels says schoolgirls threw themselves at him in the 70s. Christ on a bike, that’s disgusting. Shocking taste on the girls’ part.

  87. 295
    David Cameron says:

    Sex with my Samantha is like eating Brussels sprouts.

    It’s repulsive but she forces me to do it at least once every Christmas.

  88. 305
    WVM says:

    A merry Christmas to Guido and all at the guy news team :)
    From Mr and Mrs White Van Man.

  89. 316
    Owen Jones says:

    Merry Christmas to all comrades, 2013 will be our year, come on General Council get your act together and name the day.

    • 320
      Well it's a thought says:

      No 5 year plan, you idiots can’t work without a 5 year plan, yes we know you don’t do real work, if you did you wouldn’t be a Liebour party supporter.

      • 334
        Owen Jones Boyfriend says:

        My boyfriend will be general secretary of the people’s republic of Britain one day.

        • 344
          Jimmy Santa Savile says:

          Oh oh oh, lets see what we have for you young boys in Santa’s sack eh!

          Bottoms up!

  90. 330
    Noah says:

    merry christmas readers, let’s hope next year will see the turning. What makes us British is the thing that is sending us to disaster.

  91. 340
    Universal Hiss says:

    Thank you for all the fun Guido & Harry & all you strange people who post here.

    I’ll raise a glass to you all from soggy Scotland.

    I have a feeling that next year will be more ghastly than this which should provide endless fun.

    Happy Christmas!

  92. 341
    Universal Hiss says:

    Oh the irony.

    5.48 Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Mod bot,I hope you have a hateful Christmas & have a norovirus New Year.

    • 359


      Fucking brilliant this Wittgenstein geezer. He wrote this decades ago and it captures the instant beautifully:

      5.48 Even absence of exploitation can be a form of oppression. For
      almost everyone it holds true: better to be exploited than to be a
      beggar. For many it holds true: better to be exploited than to be

    • 361
      Noah says:

      infamy, infamy they’ve all got it in for me

  93. 347
    The B&P is in the Black? says:

    • 350
      Plastic is safe enough says:

      No knives and forks at all in the Griffin household?

    • 354
      it will be ven bleaker in sunderland now that xmas has gone and you have to pay the tally man says:

      Iche wunsche frohe wienachten mein kamaraden

      • 377
        My mad aunt is coming, and Uncle Pervert, for chrissy dinner, gawd 'elp us. says:

        Tomorrow is the annual Man/Woman verses Food challenge, and no doubt NG will be tucking in. Bet it is goose for him, with steps.

        • 803
          Expat Geordie says:

          What? That famous march practiced by the forces of the Soviet Union in the 1940′s, and by the forces of China, Vietnam, North Korea and Cuba to this day.

          Then again, the goose step was actually created by the British Army, but only as a way of seeing if anyone was drunk on parade, before a brief adoption by socialist Germany in the early 1930′s. The Germans, being rather sensibile people at heart, despite a few brief moments of madness, dropped the goose step by the late 1930′s.

          • Geology is a real science says:

            Never knew that – thanks for the history, Us welsh just used to put tar pitch boots on geese, and take them to market to Birmingham, or that Lahndahn. Maybe that is where the goose step came from, high kicking with the hot tar.

    • 363
      Owen Jones says:

      Why do the BNP have a leader that looks like he has had a stroke.

  94. 349
    Not Now Cato says:

    Merry Xmas one and all, even the socialists.

    • 369
      My mad aunt is coming, and Uncle Pervert, for chrissy dinner, gawd 'elp us. says:

      We socialists don’t do capitalist xmas, apart from getting totally bladdered.

      But Season’s Greetings to all fellow pagans here, though. Hope your spuds in your garden this year will be plentyful.

  95. 351

    Two to one would shag Nads, against all other comers :-P, according to the poll:

    • 360
      it will be ven bleaker in sunderland now that xmas has gone and you have to pay the tally man says:

      I wouldnt shag her with yours she would be a major disappointment no imagination.

    • 403

      The chance to empty ones nads into nads would indeed be a treat
      and a step nearer to her daughter Mmmmmmm !

  96. 353
    it will be ven bleaker in sunderland now that xmas has gone and you have to pay the tally man says:

    Iche wunsche frohe weinachten mein kamaraden

  97. 355
    Liberal Left Gun Debate Farce says:

    Map of where it is safe to commit crime in three counties in NY State:

    This actually works against the registration case.

    • 368
      HMMM says:

      There are about 40 million firearms in private ownership in the US so I would say it’s already a done deal that legislation wouldn’t work anyway and not likely except on a state by state basis which would be pretty pointless.

      • 370
        My mad aunt is coming, and Uncle Pervert, for chrissy dinner, gawd 'elp us. says:

        Firearms has it’s good points – it is a form of population control after all.

        • 372
          From the 45% minority English in London says:

          Band ownership outright and ship all the US guns to China and India then, that’s where it’s fucking needed.

          • My mad aunt is coming, and Uncle Pervert, for chrissy dinner, gawd 'elp us. says:

            They have cholera and poverty starvation and earthquakes and their own government for that.

          • From the 45% minority English in London says:

            Not doing a very good job of it are they?

          • My mad aunt is coming, and Uncle Pervert, for chrissy dinner, gawd 'elp us. says:

            The one baby thing by the government in China helped a bit. But the castes of India do chuck them out at an alarming rate.

          • No burkas in North Wales says:

            I take it Christmas is cancelled in London from now on

          • My mad aunt is coming, and Uncle Pervert, for chrissy dinner, gawd 'elp us. says:

            Yes, apart from the 45% minority….

            London with these days, is a happy hindu/allahmas stronghold, without the wars. And May your Lord go with you, as this fella always said,

          • My mad aunt is coming, and Uncle Pervert, for chrissy dinner, gawd 'elp us. says:

            …furthermore, anyone watching Mother Brown’s Boys later on? That is the humour shite I really like, right up my road it is. An irish fella in a dress, playing a late-middle aged mother.

            Half nine it is on, or iplayer for us lazy hunts that get diverted with posting crap on sites like this. On boxing day too, part two of two, as if the beeb is clever in splitting it up, since they think us mainland brit gobshites need a couple of days to think and get the oirish jokes.

          • My mad aunt is coming, and Uncle Pervert, for chrissy dinner, gawd 'elp us. says:

            OOPSY – quarter past ten it is, so more time to talk bollox on here.


        • 384
          Liberal Left Gun Debate Farce says:

          Not really – the number of deaths / year is small, factoring out suicides it is tiny. (In terms of the overall population)

          Piers is having a lot of ‘John Lennon’ thrown at him, not a good sign.

          Other boots going in:

    • 371
      Jimbob III says:

      Out of my cold dead hands.

  98. 379
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    Petition to deport British CNN host Piers Morgan from US over gun control remarks nears 32,000 signatures – @AP
    1 hour ago from by editor

  99. 386
    CCHQ Press Officer says:

    News at Ten is 13 minutes long tonight. Short but perfectly formed .Bit like Owen Jones.

    • 395
      Noah says:

      who is this Owen Jones posters often refer to ?

      • 399
        Owen Jones Boyfriend says:

        He is boyfriend and future husband.
        This country greatest Marxist.

      • 402
        The Far Right says:

        Karl Marx’s argument for abortion.

        • 404
          Owen Jones Boyfriend says:

          But Owen and me will not be able to have children so why would we need abortion.

          • Noah says:

            he is a tiny homosexual celebrity ? I think I will refrain from google / alternative search engines are available. what happened to duckduck i thought that showed promise?

          • The Far Right says:

            Go up one generation: His gender choice irrelevant, his politic is problematic.

            NOAH: Not a celebrity per se. He is allegedly an author / poet / political commentator. Think Blairite Wolfie with a degree, minus a union and just a tad late for the champagne. Best to avoid unless you like hematidrosis.

          • Noah says:

            i do sometimes feel inadequate when people use long words :-) but I am most grateful for the various insights and wotnot posted over the year. i think it is unfortunate that proper englishmen are pushed to the fringes so to speak in order to express opinion

          • Noah says:

            I state that when/if all the eastern european guys get to come over here knife crime will go up 10x
            fucking idiot politicos, if I could explain, when you were voted in by the local populace it did not give you license to fuck up the country.

          • The Far Right says:

            Which is why now we should start to get gun ownership law back to where it was prior to 1997 and run the borders properly.

  100. 390
    A Christmas Message From Another Queen says:

    As your unofficial Queen, it gives me great pleasure at Christmas-time to celebrate the birth of the miracle child. I speak of course of Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish-John, born on 25th December, the immaculate conception of myself and Mrs. Elton, namely David ‘Part of the’ Furniture.

    I can assure you that you will all have your noses rubbed in this on Christmas Day for the rest of your lives, and can further confirm that I will be making an honest woman of David when we tie the knot in a Church near you, thanks to Dave ‘let’s move with the times’ Cameron.

    To conclude my Christmas message, I am pleased to be able to confirm that I am pregnant again, and the pregnancy is progressing well. On this occasion, we intend to time the birth to the day of the Resurrection to gain maximum publicity and synchronisation with Christian symbology.

    It really is amazing what two men can achieve when they put all their energy into it, if you see what I mean.

    • 508
      We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

      Two sperm and no eggs – yes, it has got to be a miracle, and only in Britain, if you have enough money to get away with it.

      My favorite Elton track, and yes, I like the bloke, but not in that way, etc..

      and no, I didn’t pick that one because it was full of muppets – it was the first one I came across on youtubby, honest…

  101. 393
    CCHQ Press Officer says:

    Ok, thanks to MarkGoodge we now have a counter-petition: … Sign now to make the Americans keep PiersMorgan!

  102. 394
    Incapable Vince says:

    If you strive and you make it, we’ll find it and take it.

  103. 396
    Third Stage Guild Navigater says:

    A very merry Christmas to all fellow Guidophiles… This site saved me from a the darkness of Ingsoc. More power to your elbow Guido and co.

  104. 409
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Here is my Christmas message to my millions of fans

    • 415
      My mad aunt is coming, and Uncle Pervert, for chrissy dinner, gawd 'elp us. says:

      “I’m so so sorry”.

      Clegg? Who put that gobshite on the telly, and in the Ehtch of Cees?

    • 417
      Mrs Cable says:


      • 422
        My mad aunt is coming, and Uncle Pervert, for chrissy dinner, gawd 'elp us. says:

        get on your horse with Donna Quixote/Mrs Clegg.

  105. 412
    New British National Anthem says:

    • 418
      My mad aunt is coming, and Uncle Pervert, for chrissy dinner, gawd 'elp us. says:

      Da/Да, comrade/товарищ.

      Some modern day Russia for you, near the Urals, buying potato sacks for granny and things,

      And mettart ees a nice site too friend, da?

      • 420
        My mad aunt is coming, and Uncle Pervert, for chrissy dinner, gawd 'elp us. says:

        …furthermore fellow comrades, a welsh successful rugger coach singing russian, in Oxford somewhere, on a telly show from years ago. Sure I can see Whispering Bob from Old Grey Whistle Test from the beeb in the audience, or it might be a lookalike…

        Brilliant historical vid clip that is, da, comrades?

  106. 423
    Socialists = Sociopaths says:

    OH on good form :)

    • 428
      HMMM says:

      Well if you have a policy of letting 30,000 people a month into the country for ten years + without bothering to build any housing in which to put them what do you expect?.
      How many houses have you got, just the two is it paid for by the state, why don’t you ask some of around for xmas dinner mr philanthropist (Ha,Ha).

      • 431
        My mad aunt is coming, and Uncle Pervert, for chrissy dinner, gawd 'elp us. says:

        Thatcher and her estate agents started it, in the early 1980′s. Read recent brit history HMMM, and try educating yourself.

        • 433
          HMMM says:

          Recent brit history?, you people can never resist your Godwins law moment can you; Maggie Thatcher!, baa! Maggie Thatcher!, baa!…

          • Noah says:

            thatcher’s determination to destroy the unions was wrong headed, she banged on about service industries as the way forwards which was a really really short sighted fundamental error

          • Jack O'Nory says:

            It was Paradise in Britain whilst the trade unions Wilson & Callaghan ‘governed’ this Country, before Thatcher came to power in 1979. I read it in a book. I think they called us The Sick Man of Europe under the Tories, didn’t they ?

          • We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

            HMMM – I give you respect for you standing up for your british empirers in our life, but the British Empire is fucking long gone now, so grow up pal! Britain and the World has moved on, if you can possibly notice it.

        • 437
          Red Ed's non-predator union bosses says:

          It wuz awl Fatcher’s forlt !!!

          • Noah says:

            it would be subjective probably how you reacted.
            looking from outside and thinking what was possible I would say she was a disaster for the country. sorry about that

          • Jack O'Nory says:

            That’s OK, Noah. Your opinion is simply that – an opinion. It has absolutely no basis in fact.

          • Noah says:

            where we are now is a fact. “thatcher’s children” were misguided and have led us to this state. a stronger imaginative leader was required but we got the criminal blair, i do still think the country is uniquely placed to set an example to the globe but our leaders seem to lack the testicles so to speak

          • We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

            Noah, Blair played it as he saw it, and I think he did an excellent job, until the London white SE Ingurland mafia started playing their public schooled cut mose off to spite face games again.

            Look at this clown Osborne – he simply has not got a clue, he is like a fart in the wind, doing nothing.

    • 434
      Scrooge says:

      It might be Christmas, but that is no reason not to play spot the humbug.

    • 463

      £72,644 expenses in two months ! He needs his fucking head nailing to a tree

  107. 427
    Nogbad the Bad says:

    Merry Christmas to all, except those that are wilfully or unwittingly bringing this once great country to its knees. There is still hope, the interweb is making it possible for people to express what they are really thinking, and this is changing the narrative in the real world. Sites like this one and the others will come under attack, but the momentum is too great for the movement to be stopped.

    • 429
      My mad aunt is coming, and Uncle Pervert, for chrissy dinner, gawd 'elp us. says:

      Yes, technology now is the gossip from the village water pump, and those in the House of Cees in that Westminster can not pull the wool over our eyes anymore. Yes, torys?

  108. 441
    WorthSaying says:

    A happy and spiritual Christmas to all the bloggers on Order-Order.

    Now that’s worth saying.

  109. 443

    Happy Christmas to all and may you have everything you could wish for:

                           ;X+;,X:,. .,iiIRMWMMMBBRMMBY.
                        .tWVYti;WRVIttittIVV      .:,,
                        tWVIi++;XRVIIttttIXY   ..:YYtYi;tittV,
                    :Viii++i;itIXBXVttitVW,               tBIX
                    .XIiXIttIVRBRBIItttIRX                 :VX
                    .,tXXWWWVi+. RXXItiYRV                  ..
                                 tIYYYIY;  ,.
    • 445
      HMMM says:

      A Remington Typewriter?.

      • 447
        • 449
          HMMM says:

          Photocopier is popular at this time of the year.

        • 462

          The security guard was called Peter. Ex-copper – but a good bloke – in the days when coppers were coppers and not wannabe politicians.

          • UKIP if you want to, I am fully awake pal says:

            Schro’s Cat, one of my favorite lady music vids, if you get here back on Xmas day, full of turkey – hope you enjoy, this that is, not the turkey, butI have got to say turkey is not going to touch my lips today, it’ll be a trout starter, nightly marinated in lemon juice and star annise i the fridge, followed by – ahem! norwegian puffin breast steaks, with a cloudberry and acavit sauce with it, with the usual brusel sprouts/honeyed roast parsnips spuds and carrots, with a fine stuffing with young crows breasts, which has been in my freeser since last spring – suculence city!

            And for afters, a calves heart filled full of winter berries, with custard, made from arrowroot powder and gullimot egg yolks, for that extra fisshy flavour.

            Ah yes, the song, Schro, lady song favorite,

      • 607
        Expat Geordie says:

        I remember my mates dad doing this on a “computer” at work (Barclay’s I think) back in 1983.

  110. 454
    We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

    Well I enjoyed that – the oirish can makes us laugh, when they fecking try,

    See what happens on boxing night with it – I can sees it now, and yes, some boxing.

  111. 461
    Polly Humanism says:
    • 464
      We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

      gawd ‘elp us. An atheist on South Georgia, again bothering the catholic argies – that is all we want!

      • 465

        Not to mention Queen Elizabeth Land.

        They are not going to be happy bunnies at all. :-D

      • 467
        We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

        catholic meccico, closer to home than you think,

        • 481
          We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

          Might as well post William Byrd, an interesting character from sixteenth/seventeenth century britland, wavering from cath and prot in his music and life, and got away with it then, to live to old age. Here is his music, being sung in central america, in a fine tidy church, full of history,

          Like all this stuff. I think I am a bit of a William Byrd on the quiet myself, ducking and diving….

          • We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

            Notice the vertical thick stong wooden pillars in that El Salvador church for protection from local earthquakes, of the mother nature kind? As I said, like all this stuff.

    • 466
      All Lefty's must die says:

      These two are pathetic Toynbee is head of the british humanist society and dawkins says he is the worlds leading atheist.
      But they were both to scared to debate leading theologist William lane craig he was in Britain.
      William lane craig did a spoof on clint eastwoods rnc appearance pentending its was dawkins.

    • 468
      Shreike says:


      • 475
        All Lefty's must die says:

        The sooner Polly is gone from this life the better.
        I wonder if she is looking forward to judgement day.

        • 480
          Anonymous says:

          Is anyone ?

          Polly is looking for nothing. I tend to prefer the promise that Jesus made of an eternal and pain free eternity.

      • 516
        Pye Thagoras says:

        How many sides did she have ?

        • 535
          UKIP if you want to, I am fully awake pal says:

          she was a right dodecahedran – right schitzzo she was, unlike usual women, with three sides,
          1.pre rag week
          2. during rag week
          3. and after the storm.

          Sorry ladies, it has to be said. Several husbands have said me – “Please god bring on the memopause for my wife”, on their knees in church.

    • 470
      This Christmas says:

      This has to be the most anti Christmas tweet this Christmas.

    • 473
      Santa says:

      Number two Eton College road London has been deleted from my Elves delivery list.

  112. 469
    Piss Organ says:

    WTF ?!

    • 471

      Why in his bed as opposed to anywhere else?

      • 474
        We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

        As good as any place I suppose.

        But better a gunfight on Main Street somewhere in the US Frankie – makes more of a headline. Or a shoot out over a game of hold ‘em Texas poker, near Dodge City, when Piers is accused of being a cheating fuck.

        • 477

          What a calumny!

          I hope they withdraw their ungentlemanly remarks before they shoot him.

          • US Watch says:

            A permanent field trip to Camp Delta may be a good compromise. Weather’s great, and orange is his color.

          • We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

            Send Piers to a reservation – he’ll be safe there, and he can spend his time getting native in the US, again.

          • We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

            oops, should have said “when Piers is accused of being a cheating limey fuck”, of course.

          • US Watch says:

            Piers arguably has a charge of perjury to answer. Not sure if he has been cheating though, except the American public with liberal left lies about gun control and what constitutes reasoned debate.

          • UKIP if you want to, I am fully awake pal says:

            US Watch – Piers is a slimey fuck. But he has respect from me for his cheek. And I am welsh, not english at all – ok, eighth, yorkshire, and proud of it.

          • US Watch says:

            And your heritage means what exactly in this context ?

            ‘Cheek’ is not a good basis for reasoned debate, and Piers offers only populist arguments. People seem to have forgotten that a rather large number children were allegedly killed in an elementary school, but are not blind to a one sided argument and it’s implications.

            School security should be top of this agenda, of which changes to gun control law may be part. Piers has done quite well to wreck the real debate which needs to happen and distract the public from what is a valid discussion.

            From what I have read, he should be prosecuted in the UK for a number of offences committed there, that he has been imported to replace King is a joke.

    • 486
      Merry Christmas to all except Piers Moron says:
      • 489
        The Yankee says:

        Ah, the undisguised racism. Yes, that always furthers a cause.

      • 493
        Gut Morgan, and I ain't talking German, says:

        And Mr Irony Deficiency Anaemia probably cannot see he has in effect done that which he would have condemned Mitt Romney for– officiously telling others in their own house what he thinks they’re doing wrong and implying he knows better. Memo to Piers– you don’t vote there, at least I hope they’re not allowing you to (but of course the Lefties don’t want photo ID at the polls, so maybe he CAN pass himself off as John Q. Average). It’s one thing to natter on about the politics of a situation, but it’s quite another to tell people their Constitutional system is fucked. There’s not a bloody thing you can do about it legally anyway, so back off a little. At least show some deference– “Well, it’s not what I’m used to, and it might not be something I’d favour in a best-of-all-worlds, but the American people must decide this on their own and I’m sure they can live with whatever they come up with; that being said, blah blah blah…” It’s called “courtesy,” Piers. Let me come on your show and talk about phone hacking and photoshopping, yeah?

        • 547
          The World says:

          So free speech does not really exist in the USA.

          • Antonin Scalia, J., US Supreme Court says:

            The 1st Amendment says “CONGRESS shall pass no law…abridging freedom of speech…,” you stunad. The 14th Amendment means the states can’t, either. The Constitution don’t say jackshit about private businesses or you and me telling someone to STFU. A considered legal opinion from someone who DOES know his ass from a hole in the ground when it comes to the US Bill of Rights.

          • US Watch says:

            And for non citizens: Kleindienst v. Mandel (1972)

            When his viewing figures go down (they are already not great), he will be fired and go away, citizenship may be off though so the sooner he leaves the better.

            The extra publicity is doing wonders for gun+ammo sales, annoying people and the extra publicity is helping increase the probability of various nut bars doing terrible things. Piers is a unique type of terrorist.

        • 705
          CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

          Maybe there should be the same restrictions on registering to vote as there are to purchase a self defence device.

      • 511
        nasty nip in the air says:

        Tomoko: “From Japan..Okinawan born”

        WTF does she care?

    • 490
      Just Curious says:

      Has Frankie ever been to Hollywood?

    • 659
      Satirical Piss Organ says:

      I think the following tweet (can’t be bothered to embed as may be deleted) references the Nugent interview:

      ‘@piersmorgan You should do us all a favor and suck start the nearest firearm.. and keep sucking it until you get it right…’


  113. 482

    Baste the turkey – tick
    End of the world – tick
    Christmas Day – tick

    Right, what now?

    • 484
      We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

      get right BLADDERED, until 1am Jan one.

      • 491
        We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

        By the way Schro’s Cat, and all, anyone seen this sponsored possible event?

        Trouble I have got is that I am a Capricorn, and it is my fifty-first birthday, and I always get tanked on my birthday, and fall flat on my face – ask my dentist! He is sick and tired of getting a phone cal from me on the eleventh, like clockwork. “Pavement again?” he says, and I say “nooo, took out someones fist with my face”, I reply….

        Might as my lawyer/solicitor(female)/barrister to apply for a day dispensation for myself, so that I can carry on with my personal tradition, in telling everyone that I love them, at the latter hours of my birthday.

    • 523
      Curly from Camden says:

      A certain speedster’s lengthy inc*rceration might help lift the gloom a little.

      Belated happy crimbo folks.

  114. 485
    We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

    Reminds me of a song, from geordieland, but the inverse, as in “I am fucking presently stuck in a bus shelter in Exeter with my presents for Christmas, and yes, it is still pissing down”.

  115. 488
    Ol' Crummy says:

    Forasmuch as “Christmas,” those idolatrous pagan rituals with their ill-fitted fig-leaf of Christianity, is an abomination and an affront to Almighty God, I shall not observe it as do the ignorant and irreligious, and I do most vehemently and vigourously decry it; yet, it is meet that we should honour the Nativity of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, and heed the message of the angels on high, Glory to God in the highest and on Earth pe*ace, good will to men– at any rate such as do have the fear of God in them, which fear we ought induce if it be not there of its own accord. For my part, I shall attend church and I adjure all Christians to do likewise. There be no finer way to spend the 25th than to be harangued by a pious Puritan divine– ’tis tonic for the soul!

    • 492
      We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

      Being how religious one is is inversly proportional to one’s IQ, I have found, with life of man. Could humour such sorts I suppose, but I just can’t do it, myself.

      • 495
        Anonymous says:

        With a thick, taffy cuпt like you declaring such, I do now believe there is a god.

        • 498
          We're all floating off to Mount Ararat - it's pissing down. says:

          Cheers, twat. Keep studying me – you might learn something, before you die.

          • Anonymous says:

            Only thick, arrogant pillocks like you think they can pronounce upon the exist of a supreme being after spending their pitifully short existence pissing, shitting and fucking their way through the short time they have on this speck of earth in a fathomless universe. Piss off with your pathetic hubris.

          • UKIP if you want to, I am fully awake pal says:

            Tory HQ, Brit Old Empirers – will you grow up? Don’t think so somehow.

            They are just basic common and garden brit norman bullies, as they have always been. Come and suck my stump!

          • UKIP if you want to, I am fully awake pal says:

            By the way Anon, and Alice below, masons and the Knights of St. John is all Norman 1066 load of twaddle, perpectuated by Oxbridge, especially Oxford Uni colleges, and is frankly, to an old romano brit like myself, previously iron and bronze, and beaker pots people, a load of dingo kidneys propaganda.

            Golf? Give me a rest – it is wall to wall infested by such, and the scots do not like it, since they invented that game of farm fields snooker.

      • 505
        Alice says:

        Not at all. Many intelligent high achievers are godbotherers. Religion is like the masons only without the secrecy.

        • 525
          UKIP if you want to, I am fully awake pal says:

          I’m a godbotherer asking why or why not – it is the bricks that made us after all, on the way to us or the other.

          And brilliant comment post Alice, may I say. Poem for you Alice,

          We’re born now, thinking now,
          have handle on everything.
          Forget past, not important me,
          what see free about playing.

          Too much knowledge about,
          happening roundabouts.
          Not like olds we come from,
          plough & harrow nowts.

          Thanks again Alice – you gave me inspiration – any good above?

        • 526
          UKIP if you want to, I am fully awake pal says:

          Furthermore Alice, you might like this old poem, about strange creatures that bother the young hours with fright and new found fight, as like prowling owls in the night, giving day thinking for those pillowed usually, at those times,

          Can tell a clever, and appreciative, lady a mile off. It is the definition of a hopeless sharp observer of human life.

        • 541
          Anonymous says:

          No news about your operation then Alice? Must be difficult for 30 plodsters to keep their tongues still.

        • 657
          Anonymous says:

          religion and the masons..
          if the mason know the secrets of the universe then they are in a very good place. it my not be a peaceful place but may well be joyful.
          any link between this and tony bliar,s haunted look?

  116. 519
    UKIP if you want to, I am fully awake pal says:

    Guido, notice you seem to allow the word “Hunt” to be said now in day to day comments, and about time I say. A Hunt is a Hunt, is all I have to say, whatever colour, ey Ricky?

    And his mate here, Larry David, yes, in Hollywood, in LA, in that US of fucks and motherfuckars,

    • 520
      UKIP if you want to, I am fully awake pal says:

      Ah!, I see, only to some hunts it seems, the clever twunts that they seem to be. Sort it Guido – it makes you look like the pope.

      • 524
        UKIP if you want to, I am fully awake pal says:

        Have been asked to go to LA, over the years, supplied free lines to Big Bang comedy show, Stephen Hawking wotsit is one, or Steve the Wheels as he is known over in Big Bang world, and Dan Craig, from Chester when I first bumped into saying to me – “get over there taffy”, but I told him I think it would kill me.

        • 530
          UKIP if you want to, I am fully awake pal says:

          Makes me laugh that brit tory lads don’t like to talk about girl cocks, or The Spot, I like to call it romantically, and the girls like it to be called. But ask a tory girl when she is excited, they get it out like a flash.

          • UKIP if you want to, I am fully awake pal says:

            Never tried charlie myself, because mybe I was frightened, or maybe I knew coffee sends me nuts already, but a mate of mine occasionally used to partake, when he was living in Canada – and when he started hoovering carpets, dyson-machine-like, literally, through the night obssessivly, he started to think hang on. His cleaner was underworked when he white lined.


            What the fuck is wrong with you ? you utter utter smack head wanker

            NOW FUCK OFF YOU TIT !

          • Stacelar and Gavlar, and Smithy, and Uncle Bryn. says:

            Some like to click shit, when pointed out, even from me. It’s called sharing friend, or to wind up such as yourself, with your nimbey mind, looking ready to complain why the Earth is not flat.

            There – that is telling you. Open your mind you numbfuck!

          • Stacelar and Gavlar, and Smithy, and Uncle Bryn. says:

            and by the way, the gee spot is the nerve that comes close near the surface deep inside, from the clit.

            Giving my secrets away here…..

  117. 537
    UKIP if you want to, I am fully awake pal says:

    I like frightening “righties” back into their holes, Guido, with a bit of god given leftie intelligence – they go running back to their dungeons like scared rats, and yes Guido, they do not like stuck right up them, oh no.

    It is quite amusing. Vewy vewy amusing acshually.

    • 543
      Bluto says:

      Almost as amusing as lefties who are as drunk as skunks at 6.15 am on Christmas morning.

      • 544
        Joy to the World says:

        Almost amusing as some sad git having conversations with himself in the early hours of Xmas morning

        • 546
          Bluto says:

          No, don’t worry sad git. I read your comment. You are not alone in your conversations with yourself.

          • Birdseye Turkey dinner for one again this year TaT says:

            Another Christmas in your piss soaked bedsit Tramp Boy , Alone , sat up all night talking to yourself on Guido , posting your boring inane video clips , then commenting on them , as if someone gives a fuck ?
            No friends , no family , banned from the drop in center , is it really worth carrying on ?
            You annoying little turd !

          • Stacelar and Gavlar, and Smithy, and Uncle Bryn. says:

            Bluto, what is writing a book if it is not talking too yourself, before it sees the light of day, to their’s eyes about, some appreciative.

            Yes, several comments – treat it as small chapters of a book, dickensian-like, Bluto, is all I advise, if one around has the imagination. That is what I have to say to conclude, for now.

    • 680
      Judean Peoples Popular Front says:

      “leftie intelligence” one of life’s great oxymorons, along with “socialist worker”.

      To the barikades komrades!

    • 813
      Stacelar and Gavlar, and Smithy, and Uncle Bryn. says:

      See what I mean? Red rag to the tory bullshite I am. And all, I like talking to myself, since I have several personalities – blame the method acting method I was taught, since I am an actorrrrr, not… : )))

      Or I could be schizzo, though…. wibble!

  118. 542
    fnar fnar says:

    “There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.”
    P. J. O’Rourke.

  119. 548
    No mosques in North Wales says:

    I wonder if Mr Cameron will be visiting the poor people made homeless by flooding today?
    Somehow I doubt it.

    • 549
      Ah ffs says:

      Why?. are you waiting for him, waving your tiny flag.

      • 553

        No actually i’ll be going down the pub to meet up with Rebekah and Andy (She can get the G and T’s in ) What !, i hope i remember to take the kids home with me this time , Sam would be a tad peeved if i forgot them again
        what Then it’s home for dinner ,where this year Sam is cooking pheasant or is that Peasant ? anyway one thing is for sure , there will be plenty of Bollinger champers to wash away the taste What !

        Toodle Pip

    • 567
      Boles will concrete over England(but NOT Wales or Scotland or N Ireland) says:

      Well if you allow builders build on flood plains and local councils( who tell us that they have no money due to cuts whilst sitting in reserve funds totalling millions) don’t bother clearing storm drains and the waterways don’t dredge rivers and canals and the environment agency builds shoddy flood defences that can’t cope when they actually have flooding is it surprising that we get flooding ???

      • 576
        Living in 97.48% white North Wales (not counting the sheep) says:

        The same could be said of London. Just think of the chaos if the Thames broke its banks. But of course they’ve got the Thames Barrier to help out.

        When we had floods here in North Wales Prince Charles was up here like a shot to offer his sympathies etc. Have you noticed Cameron never ventures out of London unless it’s to see darling Rebekah or to sign an arms deal?

        He should be visiting the South West if only to see the devastation his and Osborne’s cuts are causing.

        • 605
          Curly from Camden says:

          Sorry, he left his wellies in Helmand.

        • 704
          CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

          Maybe local council should cut the black bereaved disabled lesbian departments and start doing things to maintain the value of the properties.

          If only there was a tax that would encourage this?!

    • 578
      Anonymous says:

      Yeah, these floods would never have happened under Labour would they? You twat.

      • 601
        Living in 97.48% white North Wales (not counting the sheep) says:

        It’s about showing concern for the populace.

  120. 550
    • 558
      you need soul says:

    • 560
      Snouts in the Bank of England trough too says:

      It’s funny isn’t it? Osborne hadn’t the guts to tell us that on top of appointing a new Governor at twice the salary of the present incumbent, he had agreed to pay the bloke £250,000 a year housing allowance. We had to wait two weeks for that little snippet to creep out. Which makes it nearly three times the salary.

      Are we saying that there is no one else out there who can do the job for just over twice what the PM or Chancellor earns?

      What an example this sets.

      All in it together, Cameron? Yes you lot certainly are.

      • 571
        Henry Ford says:

        We should of asked gordon to select the governor.He knows about these things.

        • 577
          Living in 97.48% white North Wales (not counting the sheep) says:

          It’s ‘have’ not ‘of’ Henry

          • Expat Geordie says:

            Perhaps he lives on the south coast. I’ve noticed that the locals (the real ones, not us white, British immigrants) all make this basic gramatical mistake.

            Incidentally, I was at a Christmas Day bash yesterday and one of the aforementioned locals asked me why I was here and why didn’t I go back to my own country! I know that my accent is still quite broad, but it’s the first time that I’ve ever been mistaken for a bloody eastern European. Her other half, who is originally from Lancashire, had to point out that not all northerners sound like him.

      • 573
        albacore says:

        The guy ain’t got time to spend in some grand abode
        If he’s going to steer the Bank on the right road
        Give him a hammock in the Old Lady’s bowels
        A bog, soap and water and plenty of towels

      • 575
        Ordinary British people known by the Tories as plebs says:

        Will we be told if this Carney bloke is paying UK taxes, or is he a non-dom or something?

        • 606
          Curly from Camden says:

          He’s a Goldman stooge. Expect nothing useful for the natives.

          • CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

            Judging from what he’s said expect more gordonomics, and then a sudden “unexpected” run on sterling.

  121. 555
    Noddy Holder says:


  122. 556
    David Cameron was my fag at Eton says:

    I’d just like to say David Cameron wasn’t a very good fag.
    I had to thrash him many times for incompetant.
    Then I replaced him with someone who is now a director at Goldman Sachs.

    • 559
      Education, Edyerkayshun, Eddyookaashun says:

      ‘incompetant’ ?

      Looks like you spent most of your time at Eton touching your toes.

  123. 561
    British Workers Revolutionary Party says:

    ‘For our part, we see the conflict between different sections of the ruling class and their state apparatus as being part of the break-up of the capitalist order in the face of the developing world socialist revolution. We hope that the different bourgeois factions do the greatest possible damage to each other, and in doing so prepare the way for the successful British socialist revolution, that will completely smash up every part of the British capitalist state, to bring in socialism.

  124. 565
    John Mann MP says:

    Bah Humbug, the missus cut the turkey too far and too fast. Here at Miserable Moaning Mann House we are having a crap time, everything is wrong.

    • 568
      Gabe Krichinsky of Avalon Avenue, Baltimore, Maryland says:

      And you cut the toikey before I got there! Yah couldn’t vait! For the other relatives who live close by yah could vait, but not for me who’s got to drive out there to the mittel o’ nowhere? This is the last time ve come tah your place!

    • 570
      Gabe Krichinsky of Avalon Avenue, Baltimore, Maryland says:

      And you cut the toikey before I got there! Yah couldn’t vait! For the other relatives who live close by yah could vait, but not for me who’s got to dr!ve out there to the mittel o’ nowhere? This is the last time we come to your place! And this is the last time I forget to spell it as “dr!ve” to get around the modbot!

      • 735
        Santa says:

        Your post is about some irrelevant shit that goes on in America. Here we have been celebrating Christmas.

  125. 566
    One Term Dave says:

    A very merry Christmas to my literally dozens of supporters. I think my plan to lose the next election has already worked. But just to make sure, I’ll be bringing out a few more certain vote-losing policies in the new year. Watch this space!

    • 572
      Ordinary British people known by the Tories as plebs says:

      Yes you just carry on doing what you’re doing, Dave. You and your toxic, incompetent government will be destined to the ash heap of history, your vote forever split between the Lib Dums and UKIP.

      So keep going with the scorched earth policies like gay marriage and windmills for daddy-in-law. We’ll pick up all of the pieces of this once great nation once you’re gone and forgotten.

      Oh and enjoy your sinecures with the banks, knowing that you’ll be hated by the majority of the people of this country for all that you and your gang have done.

  126. 579
    Equal is the new Homosexual in La La Land says:
    • 581
      Papal Watch says:

      She should read the rest of the address: It was about an attack on family not homosexuals.

      The only thing missing was a direct reference to Frankfurt school.

      This could be sour grapes: The P0pe has a much bigger following than Labour.

    • 583
      All Lefty's must die says:

      How about instead of attacking a 2000 year old religion that gave you the life you have today.
      why don’t you go on a diet and loss some weight.

    • 584
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Abbott you just can’t keep your big gob shut. It would be nice to have one day in the year that is Abbott free.

    • 588
      Abbott a bot too far says:

      Socialists the world over have tried to destroy Christianity, they failed in the USSR, they are failing in China and you too will fail Abbott.

      But why are you antagonising those of your constituents who may be Christians on Christmas day of all days?

    • 648
      it will be ven bleaker in sunderland now that xmas has gone and you have to pay the tally man says:

      Dianne Abbott the gift that keeps on giving………..mainly to herself

    • 666
      Anonymous says:

      equal marriage is a marriage based on equality between man and woman.

  127. 580
    US Watch says:

    Now the petition signatures have gone over 60,000 it is beginning to look like Piers has hit upon a new formula for a reality show.

    In this one, instead of being voted ‘off the island’ or ‘out of the house’, you get to be voted ‘off the continent’.

    Still no sign of custom gun range targets, but would not rule out before the new year.

  128. 589

    Breaking news !
    Major accident on M6 motorway , closed junctions 14 and 15 Staffordshire

    multiple fatalities !
    Very sad

    • 592
      Extremely Bad Taste says:

      Pity it did not involve Piers and Blair in one car having a head on with Brown and Balls in the other.

      Real life ain’t that way.

    • 594
      Piers Moron Career Car Crash says:

      Milk it, milk it, milk it, victims, milk it, ban all cars in the UK you stupid idiots.

    • 595
      Quick Quick sweep up all the body parts says:

      There seems to me a strange difference how the police react to the scene of killing on the road and everywhere else.

      And it can’t just be down to transportation. As rail lines and airport runways are kept closed until thorough investigations are carried out. Yet in the case of traffic carnage their main effort is to reopen the road ASAP.

      The BBC are reporting multiple deaths as their headline and the road is expected to be closed for 3 hours as the follow up.

      • 598
        Conspiracy Watch says:

        Experience with road accidents being so common has got procedures down to a tee. The investigation doesn’t take long (capture all necessary forensics) – unless the road itself has been sabotaged or seriously damaged there is no point in keeping it closed.

        Trains / Plains different: The equipment needs to be checked, and so too possibly the security of the site.

        With automobiles though, because state generally doesn’t bother investigating too closely, Boston Brakes or traffic ‘accidents’ are a good way of quietly offing people. Any idea if there were any notables involved in this one ?

        • 655
          Anonymous says:

          walking is good, but then there is always the umbrella.
          there is talk that there is such a thing as energy weapons, one zap and you or even the building you are in is gone.
          the world is a mysterious place.

  129. 590
    labour are shitty fuckers says:


  130. 597
    NEW TO YOUTUBE says:

    What the fuck is wrong with you ?
    anyone would think you have just found youtube you tit !
    why don’t you at least try and find a clip that is relevant to the drivel you are posting


  131. 600
    Henry Wadsworth Longfellow says:

    The Christmas Bells (excerpt):

    And in despair, I bowed my head–
    “There is no ‘Pe*ace on Earth’!”, I said;
    “For hate is strong, and mocks the song
    Of ‘Pe*ace on Earth, good will to men!’”

    Then pe*aled the bells more loud and deep:
    “God is not dead, nor does He sleep;
    The Wrong will fail, the Right prevail,
    With pe*ace on Earth, good will to men!”

  132. 602
    Revd. (£rd Fucking Way) Phoney B£iar, sanctimonious git and £iar, emoting and wiv stupid grin says:

    Hi !!! and Hullo !!!!

    Here’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for!!! My Winterval Speech!!!!! Her Maj. will be along later, but here’s the one you’re waiting for!!!!

    Firstly – it’s been a great year!! A fantastic Year!!! The Olumpics – what I got for lil’ ol’ UK were such a Fantastic Fabulous Success!!!! So much Fabulous Passion and Emotion!!!

    The only downer was that I’m not yet Prez of the €USSR – but hey!!!! My boy Dave says it’s only a matter of time!!!!!

    Next, I’m celebrating all I done for lil ol UK during my time in No 10!!!!! I’m not modest, but I tell you sincerely the UK has never been better!!!!

    Anyway – must fly!!! Cherry says she needs me – and when SHE needs me – I gotta fly!!!!!

    So I’ll leave you with memories of that warm glow you got when you voted for me all those times!!!!!!! – and I know you did!!! – how else could I ‘of’ got all those triumphs!!!!!!!

    Your very own straightkindaguy!!!!!


    • 634
      Ah ffs says:

      So Tone before we go to the small claims court, how about paying for the Y2K tent and debacle and the £12billion for the Olympics.

  133. 608
    Windmill N@zi says:

    University professor and member of Amnesty international calls for the execution of man made global warming deniers. All for the greater good of course.

  134. 609
    How not to win friends, influence anybody and piss off God says:

    Apparently Piers Moron has called for an ‘amendment to the Bible’ on gay marriage.


  135. 610
    Anonymous says:

    Look at that self-assured twat in the guy fawkes costume

  136. 611
    GF Unofficial Xmas Limerick Competition (No Prizes, No T-shirt) says:

    Nothing better to do on Xmas Day? Complete the following:

    There were two Marxists called Ed,

  137. 615

    The druid twat has acknowledged how the rejection of women bishops has damaged the Church according to the BBC.

    He has failed to acknowledged how the acceptance of women bishops would damage the Church equally.

    Better not even start on his views about Sharia Law.

    Another fucking disaster from the Tony Blair era – lest anyone forget.

    Here is a Christmas Tree Rowan. You stick the top branch straight up your arse.

                        \ /
                       - * -
    • 622
      Ah ffs says:

      He must be disappointed, the left’s destruction of the CofE was nearly complete, it appears some of the elders must have had second thought and could see a nice tidy number slipping away if they followed his route.

  138. 617
    I don't need no doctor says:

    The BBC.
    Chris Patten should look at all of today’s BBC schedules, and ask himself if he, or any of the BBC staff are worth the billions they take from the license fee payer.
    It really is an utter disgrace.

    • 621
      Ah ffs says:

      What more do you want, they have a repeat of I’ve go a bit more crap for you around 11:00pm , after all they believe they are world’s greatest broadcasters, just like Broon believes he saved the world, but they are sh1te at home though.

      • 626
        Fatty Pang and his Four Pensions says:

        I never watch TV so am unable to comment.

        • 647
          it will be ven bleaker in sunderland now that xmas has gone and you have to pay the tally man says:

          Patton will be still stuffing himself full of grub! pass the foie gras Lavender

        • 679
          Anonymous says:

          it is a good question, how many hours tele does the chairman watch.
          in the same vein, when the government sends troops to foreign lands, how many of their own family memebers are sent to the front line?

    • 671
      The ungrateful dead says:

      It’s amazing isn’t it? Even I, with over £3 billion income guaranteed by law, could put on a better schedule.

  139. 619
    Interesting discussion topic for analysis says:
  140. 627
    BIYMTIMT x ♥ . says:

    Hаppy Yulеtіdе tо Еwаnmе.

    Mаy hеr lоg fоrеvеr brіng hеr plеаѕurе.

    BIYMTIMT x ♥ .

  141. 628
    Alf Garnett says:

    The Roman Catholic Church’s leader in England and Wales says government plans for gay marriage are a “shambles”.

    Archbishop of Westminster Vincent Nichols told the BBC the government had no mandate to push through same-sex marriage laws in England and Wales,and alleges that David Cameron is a closet poof.

  142. 636
    David Cameron says:

    I woke startled in the night and saw a big fat bearded figure wearing a red suit at the bottom of my bed.

    “Santa?” I called out rubbing my eyes as I flicked the bedside light on.”

    “No it’s me, Dave” Samantha replied standing in her new red onesie.

  143. 637
    One Term Dave says:

    My plan to lose the next election is working spectacularly well. But for absolute certainty, I’ve just thought up the biggest vote-loser ever. I’m introducing a new flat-rate higher pension for those who retire after 2015 but not giving it to existing pensioners. Absolutely fucking priceless! We’ll lose so many votes we’ll be lucky to beat the Raving Looney Party. Have a good Christmas.

  144. 638
    Diane Abbott says:

    The Pope’s Christmas message this year calls for people of all faiths to put aside their differences and unite in love and compassion.

    And shoot all the benders.

    • 643
      Fatbot Watch says:

      It does not call for benders to be shot – just points out that allowing them to marry will destroy the family and society.

      He was only asking those in favour of gay matrimony in a fairly ecclesiastical way:

      ‘I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six shots or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?’

      All faiths are united in this, except some of the North American congregation who need reality check. The secular state should treat this with caution, and C of E bishops need to stick to their positions.

      • 645
        it will be ven bleaker in sunderland now that xmas has gone and you have to pay the tally man says:

        And what position is that? The C of E have got to make a choice either they believe or they dont MARRIAGE IS A UNION BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMEN.

        • 649
          Fatbot Watch says:

          The position is unquestionably:


        • 699
          CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:


          Marriage is a brand of contract that’s historically been associated with the Church.

          Separate the church from the state and let the church make the rules up on who gets married.

      • 650
        Bishop Basher says:

        I love bashing me bishop……. Ahhh

    • 646
      Owen Jones Boyfriend says:

      I shot my load in Owen’s face last night.

  145. 641
    David Cameron says:

    I was walking through the pedestrian precint with the wife when I suddenly heard an ear-splitting bang. At first I thought it might be a bomb and started cursing the Muslims, the IRA and any sad psycho that would do such an evil thing at Xmas time, but then I looked at Samantha …

    She’d dropped her week’s supply of chocolate.

    • 656
      Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

      Ear-splitting bang??

      Are you sure it wasn’t John “chipolata” Prescott and Tracy “no standards” Temple?

  146. 644
    Diane Abbott says:

    All White people are racist and all white men are sexist as well.

  147. 654
    Stop Piers Being Let Back into the UK Petition (HaHa) says:

    Worth a look, maybe a signature:

    - For old times sake ;-)

  148. 662
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    Thug who blinded university student in one eye in random attack is let off by police with a CAUTION

    Traffic wardens given tape measures to fine motorists £70 for parking more than 19 inches from the kerb

    • 720

      Traffic wardens = tax collectors

    • 761
      To respond again.. says:

      It used to be policemen who had the biggest balls (because they sold the most tickets!), but they appear to have been overtaken by the jobsworths in the High Street.

      So… if that thug who blinded the student only got a mere caution, then there is a precedent set to give these jobsworths a solid b*ack eye and maybe the odd broken rib or two. No?

  149. 665
    The BBC are cnuts says:


    • 878
      Expat Geordie says:

      They’re only jealous.

      We have the Queen, our own currency and a reasonably healthy economy.

      They have a non-entity as president, a non-entity as tee-shirt, someone elses currency and are being kept afloat with our money.

      I reckon that we should bring the army back from Afghaniland and turn them on paddy, and then turn their “Emerald Isle” into a bloody car park.

  150. 667
    Owen Jones says:

    Was visited by 3 spirits last night…….. Vodka, Rum and Gin.

    • 773
      Ian Beiber-Myers-Schwarz says:

      But surely you prefer cranberry juice to the rum and gin ?
      That’s your hero Gordon’s favourite.

  151. 668
    MandyPickleSniffer says:

    Hey there…have you seen this? Totally off topic, but there’s no feature on this blog for readers to post new topics.

    It’s a link to ZeroHedge site, and an article about the 60,000 signatures that have been collected so far on the petition to have Piers Morgan deported because of his comments criticising US gun laws.

    So…now what do we do? If we want to put the Septics back in their place & defend a fellow Brit, then we inadvertently end up defending bleedin Piers Morgan of all people?? Talk about a quandary!

    • 677
      US Watch says:

      No quandary.

      Extradite the him before he is deported and prosecute him as he deserves.

      Or, ignore and see where this goes.

      Do not think he will be wanting to pass through an airport at the moment, those TSA searches can make your eyes water if you catch my drift.

  152. 669
    Laurie Penny says:

    Anyone fancy a tit wank?

  153. 673
    Shameless says:
    • 879
      Expat Geordie says:

      It’s the middle of summer in South Georgia. Trust that wanker to go away for some winter sun and end up in a blizzard!

  154. 674
    Eric Pickles says:

    Self Propelled Too fat and lazy to walk Wheelchair was £179.99 now £45 today

  155. 682
    Morcambe & Wise says:

    Good Grief.

    We never watch East Enders anyway. Why is the BBC making this tack their top Crimbo Telly?

  156. 683
    labour are shitty fuckers says:

  157. 684
    Owen Jones says:

    Do the decent thing and call a General Election now,Dave !

    By 64% to 32% those sampled by ICM said Cameron doesn’t understand people like them. EdM had a 2% deficit to the same question

    • 691
      Owen Jones Mother says:

      Owen its your bedtime, go to bed.

      • 694
        Owen Jones says:

        With polling numbers like these I will probably have an orgasm.

        The ICM phone poll for December is out and shows no change for the main parties. CON 32%/LAB 40%/LD 13%/UKIP 8%

  158. 687
    Fabricant trashes Mitchell says:
    • 695
      Michael Fabricate says:

      Fuck off you overweening cuпt.

    • 696
      twat watch says:

      Fabricant supports Homosexual marriage.

      Nuff said

    • 708

      What about a police officer, a member of the Diplomatic Protection Group no less, posing as a member of the public and offering colluded evidence when he wasn’t even there?

      I am not particularly a fan of Mitchell myself.

      But Fabricant: You are a tit! An absolute and utter tit!

      • 711
        An Utter Twat says:
      • 712
        Impartial Observation says:

        The email fabrication is a separate issue.

        To your point Fabricant’s statement is not really of fact and is meaningless.

        The conversation may have had some extended pauses: What is of interest is why Fabricant felt he needed to make this statement.

        Given the side of the party he appears to come from, what is up ?

        • 715
          Its simple says:

          He wants to be liked and to feel important. Maybe even have a few hugs.

        • 719

          I would suggest that the email fabrication is very much a related issue. There is clear collusion here. That it was thought necessary to resort to such lengths points to the perceived weakness of the police case here.

          Even the policeman present is supposed to have threatened to have arrested Mitchell. Yet swearing in the presence of a police officer, or even at one, is not regarded as an offence, according to a judge recently. The whole thing stinks.

          Finally Q4 makes a statement that appears to be just as suspect. A person is seen walking one way and then turning back – but not at the point where it was claimed in the police statement that the altercation took place. He/she does not appear to have been startled by any commotion the other side of the gate.

          Fabricant is doing a Vaz. No doubt about it. Washed up politico whose time has long passed.

          • Impartial Observation says:

            Agreed – I only meant that the events are separate – important not to conflate even though it is obvious what has gone on.

            The police recording of events that night is suspect. The fact that they could not have seen rucksack boy when the conversation was taking place, and there are no crowds (not even 3 people standing outside gates…) is suspicious.

            The swearing POA only issue if there is third party near by appearing harassed by the behavior. This is why that part of the recorded events being falsified is so serious.

            Fab, may be a Vaz, or he may be trying to warn off M from returning to Cabinet.

            Lots not really known about why exactly this took place nor why it was handled in the way that it was. Only significant thing about Fab is he seems to represent the libertarian side of the party and has been advocating UKIP allegiances etc.

            Whole M situation stinks to high heaven, and the house should be put in order.

            Playtime is over. ;-)

          • I did understand your point but the separation of issues is surely only valid if such issues are genuine and the “unrelated” one has now been blown sky high. I wonder how a judge might instruct a jury in considering such evidence in a criminal court? Different judges, different instructions no doubt.

            Fabricant may be a libertarian sympathiser but has shown very poor judgment here IMHO. I want our side argued by strong minded and principled people, not worms.

          • Lightbulb says:

            What is a ‘libertarian sympathiser’? Is that like a fake libertarian? Someone who wants votes from libertarians but doesn’t really agree with them?

          • Sorry Lightbulb, but I did not want to refer to his support for obvious reasons.

          • Impartial Observation says:

            His judgement yes is curious. I do not support him either way – but being party strategist (allegedly) makes this a little different from Vaz’s efforts. It is just weird.

            Thankfully, now this has all been outed, there is no way M will wind up in court, unless evidence comes to light of some real criminal wrongdoing which he can be prosecuted on.

            It is not known if the police involved at the gate were directly involved with that email. That an investigation should determine.

            The separation of issues are:
            a) Has evidence (PNB log) been falsified on the night in question. Looks like it has in part.
            b) Has a police report been illegally leaked ? Yes
            c) Has a witness statement been falsely made ? Yes
            d) Has there been high level collusion to pervert the course of justice ? Maybe.
            - Other issues may emerge as this is looked into, particularly bribery.

            Together these make a nasty frame, but now the frame is broken there are at least three / four separate issues, possibly more. If brought before a judge, as will be happening, each part will involve different offences and possibly different people, and do constitute different prosecution cases.

            Unless of course an overarching investigation is put on the thing, but that does not look like it is happening. So, cover up of sorts is the way to go.

          • La Vie en Roast Turkey says:

            Interesting comment.

            When you say ‘witness statement’ do you mean a formal document produced and tendered to a court of law and intended to be taken as a statement of the facts attested to by the person who has made it, or are we still at the stage of it being simply something someone is said to have said which has been printed in a newspaper and attributed to a ‘source’?

          • MM says:

            Fabricant is an interesting one. Not from the normal political mould. If it were not for his pro homosexual marriage I would suggest he is made for high office.

          • Impartial Observation says:

            I was referring to the email.

            That was not released to the press until quite late in the game.

            There were 2 mails apparently sent to J0hn R@ndall – the one which C4 released was the 1st sent just over 24 hours after the alleged incident took place, and before the police report was leaked to the press. This we know is fabrication by now ex police officer.

            The second email was sent a couple of days later, and after the story broke – that email has not been released, no details known publicly yet.

            If a prosecution had taken place, this would have been evidence.

            Was a bit loose with ‘witness statement’ – but in the event of a prosecution, the individual who sent the email have had to have made a statement which matched this, or affirmed via affidavit or otherwise under oath that what was in the email was true. It is ‘sort of’ the same thing, but I was being loose. DC certainly treated it as one.

            The e-mail stuff was not released to the press until after the offending officer was arrested and the ‘fit up’ story broken.

            I only state cover up of sorts is happening as without an overarching investigation on this, those involved higher up will be able to hide between the obvious gaps which appear when the different aspects are looked at independently.

          • albacore says:

            Thirty Plods plodding and they’re still plodding on
            Will this sodding debacle never be gone?
            Sherlock Holmes, Sam Spade got nothin’, child, on them
            Talk about detectives, are they all LibDem?

          • Langwij styoodent says:

            Fabricant: French; present participle; making things up

          • The Thames Estuary says:

            Michael: Said to be Cockney; noun; that aspect of the truth which is said to be being stolen , whether motivated by humour or otherwise, seconds before a fight breaks out unless stopped

  159. 690

    The number of the beast!

    On Christmas Day!


  160. 692
    What is going on? says:

    Walking down the road to Asda.

    Young woman with two sprogs. One running way ahead and the other lagging behind.

    The laggard keeps saying ” I want my dad” the mother says stop talking to me like I am a piece of SHIT.

    little do Gypo sprogs realise that a UKIP adult is the end of the world.

    • 697
      and I'm not even a UKIP supporter! says:

      Well, that was funny, wasn’t it? You spastic!

      • 702
        What is going on? says:

        Many apologies, missing out three letters after adult, “NOT” altered the whole meaning of my post.

        It’s been a long time since I came across a mother treating her child so badly and I was just pointing out that this is not restricted to UKIP members or gypsies.

  161. 701
    The BBC are cnuts says:

    Remember to pay the Telly Tax or we can’t afford these bonanza payoffs

  162. 707
    Both Sides says:


    Have to say Her marge gave her best Christmas speech ever.

    And the top Catholic in the land gave his.

    Well impressed

  163. 710
    Muz b friends says:

    WHY isn’t the Muslim Church speaking out against Dave’s Homosexual marriages?

  164. 718
    In Memoriam says:

    Two great funny men have died– Jack Klugman and Charles Durning.

    Never given as much credit for their dramatic work, which was of equal stature to the comic performances for which they were better known, these were two men you knew that you would be entertained by if you saw them on screen. Each faced long odds just living as long as they did– Durning landed in France 6/6/44, was wounded, recovered just in time to be sent back to the front in December ’44, where he would be wounded again at the Bulge. Klugman had cancer in the 1980′s, had a laryngectomy, and would need to relearn how to produce audible speech. (Beating the odds was a bit harder for Klugman at the race course, though.) Both men were involved in charitable causes, Durning for PTSD veterans, Klugman for “orphan drugs” (drugs that, while efficacious against disease, are uneconomical to produce and require either a tax credit or boatloads of donations to the appropriate disease foundation to assure production in sufficient supply). Neither man called undue attention to himself for this sort of work– it was about the cause, not the man.

    The world has just got a little sadder losing these men. Tony Randall’s holding a seat at the poker table for you, Jack– ask Charles if he’d like to sit in.

    • 724
      A reader says:

      I have no idea who you are talking about. Were they in anything interesting?

    • 727
      US Watch says:

      A well written Tribute, thank you.

      To those not versed, Google and YouTube really are your friends.

      • 730
        A reader says:

        So you don’t know either?

        • 737
          US Watch says:

          Dude: I was being polite as to those who may be very slightly culturally impaired. No dis-respect though.

          The Sting, The Odd Couple are notable examples, and look up the 12 Angry Men. Lots of clips on YouTube, IMDB and Google can help fill in the blanks. It is worth it, as they were part of the real deal.

          • A reader says:

            I see. Did they star in any of those films? Well well. Who would have known. Which one starred in which?

          • In Memoriam says:

            Note to “A reader”:

            I will not assume that you are trying to take the mickey here.

            You’d have to be of a certain age, perhaps, to know who these gentlemen were, as their professional heydays were thirty-to-forty-odd years ago. In addition, obviously most of their work was in America. The point was that they were old school professionals, and, being supporting players for the most part, were not completely consumed with that sort of narcissism which infects the stars of greater magnitude and more recent vintage. They were of a generation that came of age in the 1940′s and, like many of their contemporaries, they realised that the world can be a rough place indeed, and that anything you can do to leave it better than you found it– in concrete ways– and in ways that are not self-aggrandising in their genesis– is a worthwhile endeavour, even if brushes with death may have remarkably concentrated their minds to engage in such work. We could sure use a lot more Charles Durnings and Jack Klugmans in this world.

            (And just FYI, Durning = Tootsie, and Klugman (in a supporting dramatic part) = Days Of Wine And Roses, might have been their best film work.)

          • Jaded Jean says:

            Note to “In Memorium”

            When a movie is made, who gets most of the credit, the producer(s), the director, the actors? When Brown, Darling or Obama give speeches, who gets the credit, they or the people who write the speeches? When AVATAR did well, did people fawn over the CGI characters? Do they want to be like the CGI characters?

            Learn about narcissism, marketing and ‘the credit assignment problem’.

            Humans = not very smart creatures on the whole… but very self-centred/vain – females even more than males.

          • Shakey says:

            T’was said in my day, and has ever been thus, “If it ain’t on the page, it ain’t on the stage.” No love do we poor playwrights get so much as that of the players. They would do but dumb-show and jests, were it not for the one who doth fill their mouths with the sublime poetry.

    • 880
      Expat Geordie says:

      I wasn’t aware that Durning was a supporter of PTSD charities. It would explain a role he played in an early episode of NCIS though, as a Medal of Honor winner who “confesses” to murdering his best friend on the night that he won his medal. Quite a moving episode, and being a holder of the Silver Star (equivalent to the British Military Cross/Military Medal), one that he was entitled and qualified to play.

  165. 736
    Old Days says:

    Bit to merry to recall the channel.

    But bloody fantastic to see the Barron Knights again after many a long year taking the piss out of the Stones, Beatles etc

  166. 738
    It's a wonderful life, unless you are Piers Moron says:

    Lord S deserves a slap up jellied eels and mash for this beauty:

  167. 741
    Knot Watch says:

    This thread is too long.

    Tie it up Fawkes

  168. 749
    Jesus said says:

    For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

    Matthew 11:30

  169. 757
    HMMM says:

    ♫♫♫ We wish a happy Chris*mas, we wish you a happy Chri8tmas, we wish you a happy Christ Muzzies!, and a happy new year ♫♫♫.

    • 764
      Myoosical owtrage says:

      … and now the end is near
      it’s time for new stuff.
      Get Guid and Neo out
      we’ve really had enough.

      So start new threads today
      and watch us all come out to play.
      The party’s done; it’s all been fun
      We did it our way.

  170. 768
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Hope everyone had a good Christmas. Now that the season of goodwill is over we can all get back to spewing bile.

    Top of the list is why Fat Pang hasn’t got the bullet yet.

    It is clear that Entwistle’s pay-off was not an isolated incident but rather Patten presided over a culture of bloated pay-offs and scandalous waste of public.

    Patten is a prime example of the public sector fatcat who plague society. Although nominally a Tory he doesn’t really have any political views but is fuelled by the desire to accumulate sinecures, power and free lunches. Smug corpulent, arrogant, cavalier with public money and completely out of touch with public concerns he has forgotten that his role is to protect the public interest and instead regards himself as acting as a shield for the BBC’s bad behaviour.

    If the fat pr*ck had any sense he would realise that he is not there to protect the corrupt wasteful and incompetent from public scrutiny.

    The only mitigating fact is that the more his pompous well-fed face appears on our screens the more chance we have of getting this odious parasite out.

    • 771

      An excellent post, the only drawback being that a prick can normally stand up straight, which he clearly cannot.

      Happy New Year to you!

    • 777
      GAYVID CAMERA ON says:

      Patton has fucked up just about everything he has ever touched , lets hope this time the gov realise that the BBC would be one gov asset worth selling off

      • 782
        Well it's a thought says:

        Camoron can’t sell off the BBC, it’s owned by the EUSSR, it’s their propaganda arm in the world, Camoron has to take all the crap that the BBC showers on him with a smile and a shrug of his shoulders, he has to keep quiet, after May 2015 he will want to be an EUSSR commissioner, now that’s where the money pours in.

    • 783
      Anonymous says:

      What is a trustee? Some one to represent the owners of the institution: us. Someone to oversee the workings of the management? A moral compass? A translator of policy into our language?

      More probably a “road block” to protect the institution.

      What ever the reason, one thing is clear: You should only pay the management half of the rate of commercial company management.

      Same for the council executive layer. They have councillors to take the heat and make the non-delegated decisions. So half the pay.

      Cameron has said he wants more volunteering. So why not have democratic volunteer trustees. We get to tick some boxes when we buy the TV license. No cost involved. However, I think volunteering to him is only slave labour.

      Could work with other organizations to remove all the other arrogant trustees damaging our society. But that would be democracy. Against policy.

    • 793
      it will be ven bleaker in sunderland now that xmas has gone and you have to pay the tally man says:

      Yes Milady you have hit the nail on the head.Patten is an establishment fixer who only cares about himself he has been overpromoted throughout his career unfortunately the only people who have sussed him out and they did it pretty quick order were the chinese.Thank gawd for the upper classes like yourself milady hats off!

  171. 770
    Never never ever give up says:

  172. 772

    The very best to you for the New Year, Rаt’s Arsе! Everyone here will have seen on the news what you have been likely to have dealt with.

    I could not do it myself, being a moral coward in such areas. I am sure many others will join me in thanking you for what you do.

  173. 774

    Next i will allow the gay ones to wear pink busby’s

  174. 785
    albacore says:

    ‘Ere, are you trying to start a panic?
    Parliament quite likes most stuff Britannic
    The thing is that all it truly adores
    Just happens to fall outside Blighty’s shores

  175. 786
    David Cameron says:

    I was that pissed last night, I kept farting and following through.

    I ended up three shits to the wind.

  176. 787
    Owen Jones says:

    People are worried about incomes falling, prices rising, losing their jobs, yet this out of touch Tory party wants to bring back hunting.

  177. 788
    Mad Frankie"Jerry Can" Maude says:

    Hope i don’t create a panic, but…

    Only 365 days til christmas!

    • 804
      Stacelar and Gavlar, and Smithy, and Uncle Bryn. says:

      …unlike 366 last Xmas, since it was a leap year.

      2013 next year – bring on the walking under ladders and kicking black cats, non-Sunderland, that is, the four legged variety, with long tails and whiskers, auitring everywahere from their arses, the male ones that is.

      • 805
        Stacelar and Gavlar, and Smithy, and Uncle Bryn. says:

        whoopsie – squirting everywhere, I meant. Must learn to type slower, and learn the art of self-editing before hitting return carriage.

      • 844

        Kick the Sunderland type as well they are mostly chavs without a brain.

  178. 794

    I wish someone would sort out the HTML jump to anchor commands in the coding here.

    There are obviously four or five of them which is why the page goes all over the place when you load/refresh it.

    Someone is probably sticking new coding on without taking the redundant parts away.

    Peter Jobes! Can’t you train them better here? Remove the bottles from the table first when you next visit GF…

    • 829
      Pointyhead says:

      That’s your next fascinating dinner party anecdote sorted.

      • 861

        What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure

        Samuel Johnson could have had no idea, when he wrote this two and a half centuries ago, that its wisdom would extent to that which is written between the confines of a less-than and a greater-than sign.

        That you and I shall be unlikely to be attending the same dinner parties must be as huge a relief to you as it does to me…

  179. 795
    Looking towards 2013 -Life without a mental spillchucker says:

    Is the rhythm method, proved to be accurate in only 75-85% of cases for those who regard themselves as ‘regular’ still feasible in 2012 ? Guido however, [whose personal contraceptive decisions remain private] for all his technical ability still makes use of an outdated algo-rhythm[sic] method, to supposedly separate the libellous, expletive, X-ist OTT chaff from the prim and proper wheat comment he hopes should fill the blog.
    In general we are allowed to call a spade a spade with Mitchellesque or even stronger adjectives yet still the system fails for many intelligent participants[Not me]. Software mo-d-ding can never be a substitute for a human, advocating suitable censorship.
    One posts a comment where in our enthousiasm we might have included words like Pall, Hairy, Coal, juice, pe@s, ryce or other and after its ommision notice the inevitable computer hangup accepting your follow up comment. Repeat the forbidden word and you’re a gonna.
    Perhaps Big G and colleagues need to revisit their algorithm or rewrite it. Pregnant pauses using his present ‘rithm’ method are not appreciated by any.

    • 801

      You are not quite up to date, sir.

      Peas and rice are back on the menu here and have been for several months in my experience.

      However Pаul and Hаrry are still strengstens verboten!

      • 809
        Looking towards 2013 -Life without a mental spillchucker says:

        I did know but felt poetic lie sense added to the triviality of the ongoing saga.
        Feliz Navidad.
        Good to see your own nom de plume rising from the asses again.

        • 818

          I knew that you knew – but you also know what its like, the devilment just takes hold of one…

          However I never address them here that way as it would be bad form. On the other hand, if the prince who is (just) second in line goes to Wren’s cathedral, then what else can one say?

          Lo mejor de juerga.

          Thank you for your kind remarks. I had a Buridan’s Ass moment. Which one to use first? :-)

      • 816
        Cat watcher says:

        Is it true we aren’t allowed to take photos of you because you’re shortly to produce a litter of Schrodinger’s kittens?

  180. 797
    Stacelar and Gavlar, and Smithy, and Uncle Bryn. says:

    Got my boxing day sorted – two welsh rugger matches live on welsh telly, and then Mrs Brown’s Boys, and oh yes of course, getting bladdered and overdosing on tins of Quality Street, to give me strange brown coloured runny shit tomorrow morning.

    Don’t you love Xmas/New Year’s, ey?

  181. 806
    Dave. Dave who? says:

    So Dave’s objective for the year ahead is not to repeal the hunting ban and to introduce homosexual marriage?

    Remind me again which political party he represents.

    • 812
      Stacelar and Gavlar, and Smithy, and Uncle Bryn. says:

      Wonder which tory MP next year will stand up and come out with the line “those verminous foxes steal my chickens/ducks/geese after all, Speaker”?

      • 843
        Stacelar and Gavlar, and Smithy, and Uncle Bryn. says:

        Found a collared dove wild bird half grown chick in my back lawn once, sparrow hawked no doubt, or magpied. Put her/he under the hedge to die quietly away, to her/his own maker, with respect, and re-enter mother earth.

        The other Simon Cowell, the wild brit animal expert, from Leatherhead, Surrey, in Oz,

  182. 811
    It's Boxing Day, Innit? says:


    The bloke doing the blow-by-blow has seen that “Down…goes…Frazier!” highlight a time or two, I reckon…

  183. 821
    Northerner says:

    Just been watching Sky news and all the foreigners at what used to be the London sales. Any English people left down there?

    • 826
      The Far Right says:

      London is lost. Cut the benefits and watch it burn.

    • 828
      Ah ffs says:

      What sales?, none around this sh*thole, although I do see people carrying tv’s and all sorts of Chinese goods that were the same prices as in July, the braindead should be given spends instead of benefits.

    • 835
      Stacelar and Gavlar, and Smithy, and Uncle Bryn. says:

      Saw a grannie, white, with her brolly, beating them all them sorts off saying “gawd bless the queen”, with almost all her teef.

    • 852
      Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

      And all those ladies wearing headscarfs scrambling to pick up bargains in perfumery and western clothing.

  184. 825
    Laurie Penny says:

    • 836
      Stacelar and Gavlar, and Smithy, and Uncle Bryn. says:

      NS ALERT!

      Sorry Penny if I mentioned ladies clits. All the best to all at New Statesman, especially Meeehdi menuin, with his arab violin.

      • 837
        Stacelar and Gavlar, and Smithy, and Uncle Bryn. says:

        Anyway, Meeeehdi, and Laurie P, Hugh Griffith the taffy, with his on screen horsies. Won an Oscar for this you know,

        • 849
          Stacelar and Gavlar, and Smithy, and Uncle Bryn. says:

          might as well post my favorite clip of Charles Heston, since I had the cheek to post him in appearance above,



  185. 827
    Gooey Blob says:

    Congratulations to striking train drivers who felt they needed Boxing Day off for the third year in a row. The left are nowhere near power but are still hurting the economy.

  186. 830
    Where will it all end? says:

    lest we forget…

    Money for nothing and your chicks for free…

  187. 833
    One Term Dave says:

    After the triumph of gay marriage, windmill subsidies and single tier pensions, I have more absolute vote losers to introduce in the new year.Watch this space.

    • 838
      David Cameron was my fag at Eton says:

      Cameron you as Bad at being prime minister as your were at being my fag at eton.

      • 840
        Stacelar and Gavlar, and Smithy, and Uncle Bryn. says:

        Cameron is still trying to learn to be a human being, despite his over paid education. Knows the streets as much as he will ever know my arse.

        Come and try see it, Dave, and me and my mates will fuck yah! OOPS! – that is a good invitation, isn’t it, for them tory sorts? oh fuck. For Wales I suppose, again… drop your trousers Dave, and yes, I will be nasty again – YAWN!.

        • 841
          David Cameron was my fag at Eton says:

          I had to beat Cameron many times, not enough by the way he turned out.

  188. 839
    The Libor party says:


  189. 842

    What more can go wrong the Tories have to get rid and soon otherwise it will be the Milliband bros and Balls leading us to calamity.

  190. 847
    Stacelar and Gavlar, and Smithy, and Uncle Bryn. says:

    Vid for Piers Morgan – “Get off my yankieland you limey, or it will be draw on mainstreet at dawn”

    • 853
      David Cameron was my fag at Eton says:

      Piers Morgan gets 500K viewers to his show on CNN.
      His is the highest rated show on CNN.
      American TV is dying out because of people like him.

  191. 848
    A Guardsman, on condition of anonymity, says:

    Like we don’t already look ridiculous, like dirty cotton buds.

  192. 851
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I hear that Sir Paul I’m a fucking judge so you have to listen to me Colerdige has crept out of his crypt today. This bent wig of course doesn’t want anyone to discuss the filthy sex abuse cover ups that he has adided and abetted in his time in the secret family courts. Get your finger out from up your and your portsmouth wigs ‘n legals’ Rses down in lodgeland. Coleridge Reread the inverted logic of Prossere the Tosser who you paid to write garbage lies and untruths. The net is closing in on the fork-tongued ones.

  193. 854
    Double Standards says:

    Here’s a deal, righties. I know that when Mandela eventually dies, you’ll be rejoicing and making vicious comments here, as is your prerogative. That being the case, don’t complain when people make jokes when Thatcher dies. Deal?

    • 858
      nellnewman says:

      Well at least Mrs T and Mandela did something useful with their lives . It’s more than can be said of gormless gordon and bullyballs!

    • 887
      hahaha says:

      You thick twat, this is a Libertarian blog. We have nothing against Mandela and most of us were probably helping his cause in some way while you were still shitting your knickers.

  194. 855
    Owen Jones says:

    Guido Fawkes I kiss your arse

  195. 856
    Saffron says:

    Cammoron a Prime Minister,don’t make me laugh,and what is the next joke.
    Gaybo marriages a top priority when this country is in shit state,you could’nt make it up.
    News today was crap,sport sport and more sport,floods traffic acidents and the monarchy made me turn it off.
    Piers whatsisname was another turn off,as was the A Mitchell saga.
    Another news item was a supermarket was selling easter eggs on christmas eve what a non story.
    The Beeboids have been shelling out millions to the departed,well what do you expect from this crowd of common purpose assholes.
    The government today is a shambolic collection of people who should not be in high office as it is continually being exposed as not capable of running a whelk stall.
    Merry christmas and happy new year to all.

    • 865
      scunner says:

      The BBC somehow omitted the entirely non-political Christmas message from the First Minister of Scotland, Alex Salmond ( its theme was Scotland’s links with Malawi through David Livingstone).
      This despite the fact that they found airtime for The Queen, The Pope, David Cameron, The First Minister of Wales (?), Obama and that fat posh bird Miranda Blair-Hart.
      Thank fuck I stopped paying the telly tax.

  196. 857
    nellnewman says:

    It’s very interesting that the labour shadow cabinet hardly appe@rs to exist at the moment.

    Have they gone off to celebrate a christian Xmas or are they just hiding in a hole?

  197. 862
    Sheldon Cooper to the power of Zorg says:

    ..and furthermoe Guio, you lazy drunk fucks, we need more chatting threads here new – upating this one approaching thousand threads is like waiting paint dry, in the modern technological sense.

  198. 863
    Geology is a real science says:

    Think I will have to change my name/handle,

  199. 866
    nellnewman says:

    Cameron , the first PM since 1998 to mention God. Maybe we are moving in the right direction!

    Alycampbell said of Labour “we don’t do God’ – long may labour RIP!

Media Reader

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Sarah Wollaston’s Naming and Shaming of Bloggers | LibDemVoice
Guido Fawkes is Too Aggressive | The Times
Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette
Jenni Russell and Her Child’s Godfather, Ed Miliband | Breitbart
Mirror’s Lazy Lie | Guardian
Mirror’s Weeping Child Picture Lying Lazy Journalism | Guardian
Coulson: Everything You Need to Know in 6 Seconds | MediaGuido
BBC Still Loves the Guardian | Breitbart
Establishment Times Chums Appeasing Tory Europhiles | UKIP

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

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