In this week’s Guido column:

• Find out why David Cameron told Guido that William Hague should be out in the cold.
• Find out how union’s 143 year-old shindig has got itself an undeniable £1.4 million deficit.
• Guido recalls the Christmas party where Ed Miliband was on fire – literally.
• Austerity has hit Polly Toynbee and she has sold her Italian villa, no more anti-poverty paens penned from the poolside whilst sipping prosecco. What a lot she got – you’ll never guess how much. Unless you buy the Star…

All for just £1..

Margaret Thatcher on her mortality…

 “You mean simply by being alive I’m annoying the left? … Well I hope to annoy them for a long time to come!”