December 22nd, 2012

Saturday Seven Up

This week 101,612 visitors visited 332,731 times viewing 570,359 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


  1. 1
    Gordon Brown says:

    Dear Santa

    I’ve been very good this year. All I want is for the world to love me again.

    Love Gordon

  2. 2

    We can consider this option, Gordon, but not until every single penny of public debt has been completely paid off. (That included all off balance sheet stuff BTW.)

    You told us how clever you were. Now is your chance to prove it.

    I think even Heffer would love you then…

  3. 3
    VoteUkip says:

    Wishing all socialists a happy Xmas. Hope Santa brings you a brain.

  4. 4
    Kebab Time says:

    Good week Guido, finished well with the “Intern-Aid” video :)

    Merry Christmas all, I hope you all have a peaceful (and merry) New Year. :)

  5. 5
    Mrs Moppet says:

    We need a list of things still outstanding from previous months to be followed after after the break:

    Huhne’s trial
    Nurse’s inquest result
    Savile fall out
    BBC – too many to list
    Ed’s blank sheet of paper
    Fat Tom and the gang


  6. 6
    Maqboul says:

    Wrong again tat, you fucking idiot.

  7. 7
  8. 8
    David Cameron says:

    “Raising more money for the rich”

  9. 9

    So the world did not come to an end.

    But maybe in a parallel universe, it did. Indeed, were there to be an infinite number of parallel universes, it would be undoubted that the world would come to an end in at least one of them.

    That, for me at least, is a fundamental weakness in the multiverse theory. You can prove entirely what you want.

    And in one of them, the post neoclassical endogenous growth theory of Gordon Brown and Ed Balls would be perfectly sane. That is simply a step too far.

  10. 10

    Wishing a merry Christmas to David Laws , Ben Bradshaw , Chris Bryant , Simon Hughes , Nick Brown ,
    I hope you all get a sack full !

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    brown advisor appointed queen,s head of news. (daily telegraph)

  12. 12
    Gordon Brown says:

    There’s a big fat crop of monopoly money growing on the tree in my garden –
    but you’re not having any of it.

  13. 13
    noah says:

    can somebody find that dancing Indian and shoot him ?

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    if god and the devil are the same then a parallel universe does not exist.

  15. 15

    Your lack of capitalisation impels me to enquire as to whether this could be construed as a racist remark about a long established pop group or simply a poorly thought through appointment made by Her Majesty’s advisers.

  16. 16
    The Libor party says:

    “Spending all your money and your childrens’, their childrens’ and then borrowing just to pay the interest.”

  17. 17

    breaking news !
    The Apocalypse has been delayed until 2015 due to the coalition preventing Labour winning the last election

  18. 18

    Mmmm. Saying that is simple.

    Proving it might take many year’s of supercomputer time and still result in inconclusion.

  19. 19
    Kazuyuki Fujita says:

  20. 20
  21. 21
    Kazuyuki Fujita says:

    Method One would probably suit you.

  22. 22
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    thousand quid for posh slaves, do I hear two thousand? two thousand two thousand – come on folks, wil bring their own kettle and teabags..

    £1,001 – thank you sir…

    do I hear £1,002?

  23. 23
    Meddows says:

    Freddie, you may enquire of the Deacon as to the veracity of this report.

  24. 24
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    Breaking news – it is pissing down, get on a boat as soon as you can, or drown….

    Ham, Sheck and Jefferth, and their dad, Noah.

    (cheap prices for early bookings on this end of world cruise – but please line up in twos at the ticket office, for admin reasons)

  25. 25
    Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

    And a Merry Xmas to Lady Thatcher and wishing her a speedy recovery. We can hardly hold our street parties in this atrocious weather.

  26. 26

    Just how much money does this fucking dipstick think people have ?

  27. 27
    Oolon Colluphid says:

    You know what God’s problem is ? He never did get to grips with self-reference.

  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    we need a compassionate health service. Prince Charles states.
    he adds that happiness is important for health.
    ….he could add that plenty of rest, sleep and excercise followed by a healthy diet are essential to human happiness. and also switching the main stream media off.

  29. 29
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    Is there a difference? This dictionary, and others, gives them as synonyms but I argue to differ.
    In my view, anyone who gives advice is an “adviser”, whereas one who is employed to advise is an “advisor”.
    Having said that, I also argue there should be a second adjective, “advisery” to be used pertaining to general advice delivered and the term “advisory” used in relation to official advice delivered by an advisor, i.e. acting in an advisory position. :)

  30. 30
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    F6 – you missed, fucking usless functional button I thought you always were, next door to me.

  31. 31
    VoteUkip says:

    Obviously far more money than the government has after 13 years of your mismanagement.

  32. 32
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    George O has already sold almost all of our gold, while the numbnut tory media in this country had their backs turned, spouting shite about some nobodies like someone called Mitchell, with his catfighjt “scratch your eyes out” bitching session with the Head of the Met.

    Can’t pull the wool over Lizzy Two’s eyes….

  33. 33
    When Harry Met Sally says:

    Am I still alive?

  34. 34
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    oops, Ham Shem and Japheth – their my sons after all, and not like me – they are total tools, whatever their names are.


    50% discount for gays…

  35. 35
    When Hаггу Met Sally says:

    Am I still alive?

  36. 36
    David Scamoron says:

    I’m a direct descendant of the Pharoahs, don’t cha know.

  37. 37
    Rage says:

    These articles are useless untill the socialist-in-chief Mr Blair sets an example by working for the minium wage and stops parading as a capalist

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    Er, we’re one of the only countries that run a national health service, you can’t get more compassionate than that, and it doesn’t fucking work?

  39. 39
    Rage says:

    One is born with compassion one does not learn it

  40. 40
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    pinch yourself – and is there a fire nearby, or the love you always wanted to shag? If neither, sadly, you are still on Planet Earth – enjoy. O-O

  41. 41
    XXxx says:

    Don’t you think that would be too much of Heff, he doesn’t even like himself.

  42. 42
    you don't even watch your own fucking videos says:

    It was McMental who sold the gold you tit.

  43. 43

    He didn’t show much compassion to Diana , by still shagging his grandmothers horse

  44. 44
    Anonymous says:

    Er, we’re one of the only countries that run a national health service, you can’t get more compassionate than that, and it doesn’t fucking work?

  45. 45
    Speecheless monika says:

    Cuts to the number of full-time military personnel would “risk the safety of the nation”, Archbishop of York Dr John Sentamu has warned.

  46. 46
    Timothy Crachit says:

    God bless us, every one.

  47. 47
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    Been teaching Prince Carlo of Wales/Cymru compassion for years, but yes, it was touch and go at times, but I managed to brainwash the poor boy back to common sense, but it was fucking hard work, let me tell you that for nothing,

    Un tro ar yr amser, i fe, Carlo.
    (trans, for our english/other friends – one step at a time, isn’t it, Charles)

  48. 48
    XXxx says:

    Same to you Willy, are you working on nights over Christmas?

  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    Champagne stays on ice for now.

  50. 50
    The Actress says:

    Said the Bishop to the clueless.

  51. 51
    Their alternatives are even more ridiculous says:

    No doubt those who believe in such things as parallel universes, multiverses, mirror realities etc do not believe in “Sky Faries”. Oh no they are far to sophisticated for that.

  52. 52

    If You are Welsh , you don’t have any friends English or otherwise !

  53. 53
    prescott, john says:

    I know that look, those two fat fucks are thinking of their next pasty.

  54. 54
    Whilst we are all having a busmans holiday says:

    Can we now hear the views of the Head of the armed services on Post Millenial eschatology or transubstantiation ?

  55. 55
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    By the way all, heard a rumour, that is if the english with their Bank Wank give Scotland any problems, Norway is willing and do the hard world that Scotland can have and use the Norwegian Krone as their monetary wotsit, while helping them dig undersea as here, not generally foghorned by the London closed tory english controlled bubble at the moment, for your partaking,

    Go for it jocks – fuck the SE England Wimbledon ticketed gobshites – you will be quickly be well well better for it.

  56. 56

    I’m creating the third world right here at home

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:

    We do not need private companies charging for roads. Why do we have to pay for the cost of paying, when we already pay per mile and per vehicle. It costs to collect money through a new method.

    This is just privatization of the taxing system as popular roads should already have full funding from the tax system. It is the remote roads with few users that are the biggest cost.

    But then why not create another opportunity for ridiculous bonus culture so their friends can be rewarded for what is essentially “black stuff” work. It works on the principle that it is easy to make money, if enough is flowing by. Just ask the Liverpool tunnel workers that used to take handfuls off the conveyor. Now we will have the immoral bonuses for the directors. Same difference, just simply theft of tax.

  58. 58

    You can only take two !
    Rules is rules

    Toodle Pip !

  59. 59
    The Archbishop of Chipping Carpark says:

    Cuts to the number of men wearing frocks would not harm anyone

  60. 60
    Bart Beeching says:

    Keep taking the powders and see me in a couple of weeks.

  61. 61
    XXxx says:

    Deary me, it has been well known for years that everything about B’Liar was Tory, he was acting the socialist because Liebore was at such a low ebb after being out power for so long, Liebore would accept anything that would get them and keep then in power. B’Liars biggest break was the death of John Smith and in he dived, B’Liar could do anything because he had got them into power, he did let his mask drop occasionally for those that noticed. He got in in the 1997 election mainly because of the totally disfunctional Major government (a civil war to all extent and purpose) and the biggest advert blunder (even if proved true from 2000 onwards) B’Liar’s devil eyes.

  62. 62
    Rage says:

    The run bit is open to debate given the dubious state of the overpaid management,but there is a load of compasssion from the nursing staff.

  63. 63
    Ed Ballsup says:

    Borrowing is the only way to reduce debt.

  64. 64
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    ….furthermore, song by Norwegians, to Scotland, about such, but it could be my imagination, maybe…

    More Royksopp, for Scotland.

    Scotland, following english SE Westminster, going nowhere, with their Eatons,

    Another dram, Queen Lizzy?

  65. 65
    Childhood leukemia says:

    God’s other problem is He’s a bit of a tit.

  66. 66
    Lou Scannon says:

    Why is it that Labour supporters choose to live in the gutter ?

  67. 67
    English for beginners says:


  68. 68
    The Archbishop of Chipping Carpark says:

    The mere presence of the camera tells you that is bollox.

  69. 69

    I have absolutely no wish to offer you any offence, Ah!, but I cannot but admit that what you say sounds eminently reasonable to me… :-D

  70. 70
    albacore says:

    So, now, infrastructure’s the last esperance
    Over which Cast Iron is creaming his pants
    Renting out all of our big roads to China
    What a grand idea. What else could be finer?
    Dear Santa, please fill that hole under his tree
    With something like a sense of reality

  71. 71

    The problem is this knob wants to lease them to foreign governments , such as China so any profit will leave the country and the shortfall will then have to be made up by ?

    You have guessed it

  72. 72

    @Oolon Colluphid: The title Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Sex But Have Been Forced to Find Out steers perilously close to that genre. ;-)

  73. 73
    NHS patient lying in his own shit and piss says:

    Yeah, we’re all drowning in that ‘compassion’.

    Could you pass a vase, please? I’m rather thirsty.

  74. 74

    Because that “Benefits” them

  75. 75
    The Public says:

    The people own the roads, not the government. It is not for the government to sell what is not theirs.

  76. 76
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    And don’t worry Lizzy One, Balmoral is safe and your mams home further north, as a new sort of holiday home – post-independence Scotland, and scots will no doubt be glad to serve in your armies, navies and air forces, as fijian-like, and have bases in Scotland, US-like, too. So no hysterical probs there.

    Should be an interesting chapter in modern history, almost cleansing, I think – an attitude adjustment for the said Wimbledon.Hemley/Ascot ticketers thgan run around in the SE of Emgland educated from their sterile bubble public school educated numbnuted environments. Then we can finally move forward, ey school-ties?

  77. 77
    Rage says:

    Prince Charles says, take everyone on the minimum wage out of the tax system . Bands at 15% & 30%vat 15% none on fuel. Watch the economy boom again.

  78. 78
    One-term Dave, dragging the Tories to their grave, says:

    I gave you all a cast iron guarantee that I’d end the war on the motorist.

    Gufff-haw haw haw haw hawwww! Suckers!

    Toodle pip!

  79. 79
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    OOPS, Lizzy Two I meant, not Lizzy One, as here, on the right, next to Mary One, on the left, left footed, who sat next to the Pope. Song sung in olde french, by a welsh lady, modern,

  80. 80

    We also owned the gas , electricity , mines , docks , telecom , railways , aerospace ordanance oil ,and hundreds of other money making industries which helped pay for public services
    Now WE the tax payer have to fund them
    Politicians must be the most stupid fuckers on this planet ,
    no wait , we put the bastards in there

  81. 81
    Gordon Brown says:

    Tax-cuts take money out of the economy.

  82. 82
    hank the cat says:

    Phuck off back to birmingham

  83. 83

    There appears that there might be a need in your case to examine the differences between belief systems and abstract theorising.

    Admittedly, Sartre’s abstract theorising at the bus stop in Critique of Dialectical Reason may also be helpful here.

    If you have time the following article about the great Isaiah Berlin contains some great nuggets of wisdom:

  84. 84
    hank the cat says:

    Phuck off back to birmingham you silly,silly little boy

  85. 85
    Maqboul says:


  86. 86
    P l e b says:

    Thatcher started that mullarky, with the BP, British Gas and British Telecom selloffs. If you remember they had to go to court and pass an act of parliament before they could steal the Trustee Savings Bank from its owners in order to sell it off.

    None of this is theirs to sell off.

  87. 87
    The Trimphone Bird says:

    I wouldn’t mention ‘telecom'; GPO was a tad shite. A three-month wait to get a phone installed, choice of two models, no itemised billing, and all calls (including local) were so expensive you only dared use it for special occasions. Up until privatisation, many of my relatives didn’t have phones because they simply couldn’t afford them.

  88. 88

    Wenger and Allardyce may club together and invoke Armageddon but my sub-stanchions will stand fast.

  89. 89
    Another Engineer says:

    Multiple universes are only a hypothesis, put forward to explain certain quantum effects (see Feynman’s ‘sum over histories’), and to avoid having universal constants (such as the charge on the electron) as arbitrary numbers.

    Like most of physics, the idea is a mathematical construct and does not necessarily describe “reality” (whatever that is).

    The existence of actual multiverses in the sense you are referring is mostly untestable nonsense.

    The idea is still more interesting than ‘God did it’ though.

  90. 90
    Maqboul says:

    They were loss making under public ownership, you knob, and only helped pay for idle, inefficient workers.

  91. 91
    hank the cat says:

    What we need is Vaz

  92. 92
    In this century says:

    Your example is meaningless to most people. You may as well be describing the steam age.

  93. 93
    P l e b says:

    The very industries the WE owned (utilities, telephony, railways) are the ones that are now shafting us.

    In the 60s/70s we could just say to the Central Electricity Generating Board – build us a nuclear power station, and they just got on with it. Now we’re at the mercy of the French, the Japanese and the Chinese.

  94. 94

    Well said comrade. I remember well the sheer brutality of pointing machine guns at all those reluctant investors to coerce them into parting with their hard won savings.

  95. 95
    P l e b says:

    Selling off our heat and light industries to foreign countries should have been dealt with as an act of treason.

  96. 96
    Nostradamus says:

    I give you a cast iron guarantee that there will be British politicians hiding from the mob before the next decade is out

  97. 97
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Whether from religion or science, anytime any of these jokers starts off on some woo-woo about possibilities of existence beyond that which we can comprehend the effects of, I want to reach for my pistol. Stick to observable phenomena and you’ll not go far wrong. I find it hard to believe that a loving Deity, if It exists, is going to play games with humans to spite their quest for knowledge, as if It were some sort of wilful child. And I surely don’t want those upon whom we rely for that knowledge to engage in all sorts of speculative mysticism of, e.g., the multiple universe stripe– it’s the kind of mentality that leads to the anti-human Gaiaism infesting the environmental movement. Isaac Newton on gravity, excellent; Isaac Newton on alchemy and the like, not so much.

  98. 98
    Nostradamus says:

    It still is treason. The political class will get what is coming to them.

  99. 99

    Reality is a fantasy programme genre prevalent on the TV. I was unaware of any other meaning of the term. ;-)

  100. 100
    Rage says:

    Everything has to be paid for either through tax or to the companies direct.
    There is no such thing as utopia in reality and there’s no such thing as a free lunch. If you use it you pay for it. GOI

  101. 101
    John Stonehouse says:

    Back then we had to toe the party line.

  102. 102
    hank the cat says:

    An overpaid and incompetent police

    Max Hastings

  103. 103
    Our Treasonous Politicians says:

    There is a reason why Downing Street has to have gates. It didn’t used to.

  104. 104

    Prince Charles also says “Hello mr Daffodil thats a somewhat spiffing pot that you live in , does one have a wife ?
    One has a very strong urge to become a Tampon”

  105. 105
    Rage says:

    Shame G Brown didnt get an act of parliment before he floged off our gold

  106. 106
    Ex-Consverative voter says:

    I think a key issue with selling the roads (apart from the facts that we own them, we paid for them, they’re ours, and we pay – and will continue to pay for them – through fuel duty, VAT and VED), is we’re uniquely rogered if we don’t want to use the ‘services’ of the private company that will own them.

    We can avoid BP, or BT, but avoiding, say, the M11 or the M25 when it’s the only viable route from your house to your office could be tricky. And, of course, all the profits will be creamed-off by a company that will almost certainly be owned by a foreign government, as happened with the electricity companies.

  107. 107
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    Ami Cee my mate even.

    Anyone got a couple of weeks to waste? Yes, checkout ny hundreds of poems that my mate allows to post on his gordden snitzing site, mein fuhrer – click at your sesible peril, my friends – book out soon! after I edit, which is the boring fucking rubbish of it all,

    I am “Ehtch” there, by the way.

    One short one for here,
    I say one to myself.
    Xmas coming up as blear,
    total religious guffe.

  108. 108
    Our Treasonous Politicians says:

    Any politician proposing to sell off our roads deserves a horsewhipping

  109. 109

    Not forgetting that nearly every fucking thing we use comes by road
    Food clothes fuel etc which will all have to cost more because of Dippy Daves desperation to raise a few quids , because he hasn’t a fuckin clue how to kickstart the economy

  110. 110
    Mystic Smeg says:

  111. 111
    Ich Bin Ein Jelly Doughnut says:

    Isaiah Berlin, whom Winston Churchill believed to have written White Christmas? Or is it just a myth that old Churchie couldn’t keep the two I. Berlins straight?

  112. 112

    Twenty years ago, I would have had an entirely similar view to what you state here. However, I had to amend it slightly as observable phenomena are unable to give an account of ethics, justice, love and so many other matters which appear very real to us if not accessible to the five senses.

    F H Bradley expressed it delightfully this way: Metaphysics is the finding of bad reasons for what we know to be true upon instinct.

    Maybe we sometimes have to accept paradox?

  113. 113
    The Ghosts of the Roman Army says:

    We built the A1. It is not for sale.

  114. 114
    Tony Blair says:

    I don’t get out of bed for less than £100,000 per hour these days (in used bank notes, run through one of my “charities” and with a special shopping spree all expenses paid for Cherie thrown in)

  115. 115
    The coming boom says:

    All he has to do is cut VAT and raise income tax thresholds. What’s so hard about that?

  116. 116
    Ra -- the only useful god says:

    Don’t take Gays, Noah. They won’t repopulate the world afterwards.

  117. 117
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    Hello hank, nice to see you again, hairball. Told you, I am from the most brilliant shire in wales and that england – Carmarthenshire. But I like Midlamders near brummy – true, especially this one from originally Willenhall,

    And yes, I am that old, but it seems some think I don’t finger it, ten I was then, AHEM!, fifty now, but still got all my teeth, mostly…. Sporting accidents you know, and falling on a pavement as well I suppose, late night…

  118. 118
    LabLibConners says:

    Shock Horror — We’re now spending 100% of GDP on our Wonderful NHS that is the Envy of the World — but everybody still insists on dying — What shall we tell the gullible electorate now?

  119. 119

    Common (Purpose) story here. Whilst the circumstances are true, the spin is not.

    Isaiah Berlin was at the British Embassy in Washington during the war (fact) and Churchill admired his despatches. He expressed a desire that Berlin should attend lunch and Sir Humphrey goofed up.

    An amusing and reasonably correct account is here:

  120. 120
    Madame Bercowitz says:

    You won’t be after I’ve finished vacuuming your equipment.

  121. 121
    Sir William W says:

    You’re confusing Kerry with Gore in 2000.

  122. 122
    HMMM says:

    Professor Moriarty is right about that one.

  123. 123
    Samcam says:

    You’re a regular flopper, Beloved

  124. 124
    genghiz the kahn says:

    These bastions of enterprise seized by Acts of Parliament from their owners.

    History Fail.

  125. 125
    Robert Peel says:

    I am not very impressed by Mr Cameron’s inability to deal with dishonesty in the police force in a forthright manner

  126. 126
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    english tory clowns – run scared with your gee an’ tees and your private bags of golf clubs wankers – the country is changing, and there is nothing you nor me can change it, whatever manipulative numnut tory games you play from now on, you tory twats.

  127. 127
  128. 128
    D Nyall-Ovchoyce says:

    Voting for politicians is rather like having to choose between true weevils. A major part of them is bent and they have no balls.

  129. 129
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    This is a loverly welsh lady, LORD KINNICKIO, but lives in Ireland these days, well away from you se tory hunts – her GGGG Dad was irish, so her surname, you english tory se tossers. Catrin bach,

  130. 130
    LabLibConners says:

    Who wants a manufacturing industry, it’s so dirty and messy. Our thriving economy is based on the banks and social services, they are really useful and produce nothing.

  131. 131
    Sir William says:

    I think you mean Gore rather than Kerry.

  132. 132
    Everybody says:

    Very funny – shame you were not actually first. Hopefully 81lly Kebab will be upset enough to stay away today.

  133. 133
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    And no doubt Shergar and Lord Lucan couldn’t give a fuck.

  134. 134
    Everybody says:

    Kebab 81lly you are an arse licking twat

  135. 135

    The Winter of Discontent

    All the coal that was not dug.
    All those bodies that went unburied.
    All that power not produced.
    All that waste that stayed uncolllected.
    All those ambulances that did not run.
    All those fires that went unattended.
    All those cars which were not assembled.
    All those docks which did not move.

    …and guess what? Not under a Tory government but the Labour one of Jim Callaghan.

    You may not remember. But we do….

  136. 136
    Everybody says:

    and Gore not Kerry who lost the election on hanging chads

  137. 137
    The BBC flying the Red Flag says:

    A bad night on the Beeb last night. The News quiz was openly anti Tory and Any Questions was openly anti Tory.

    It doesn’t help that the chairman of the BBC trust is pro EU and openly anti Tory.

  138. 138
    Sir William says:

    The problem is that the existence of any parallel universes, by definition, cannot have any observable consequences in our own universe, so must remain a matter of faith. Therefore, something may be supported by reason and yet remain an untestable matter of belief.

    Quantum science is essentially a calculus of human observations, but we retain a feeling that it is revealing some kind of truth about the underlying reality of the universe. This is reasonable (because the science works) but it is, at the same time, mystical; we cannot independently show that there is any such underlying reality.

  139. 139
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Compared to Osborne you’re legacy is starting to look rather good.

  140. 140
    VoteUkip says:

    Selling all our assets is the price we have to pay for:

    1) running a fucking useless health service run by the incompetent state.
    2) paying out so much in welfare benefits because lazy bastards won’t work for a living.
    3) the unions decimating British industry by making businesses uncompetitive.
    4) squandering billions every year on EU charity to have regulations thrust down our throats that hamper growth in business and jobs.

    Socialists think all this is a price worth paying.

  141. 141
    Kebab Time says:

    I am sorry that I posted as “Kerry lost because of some Florida chads”.

    It should of been Gore

  142. 142
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    more gals more us guys….

  143. 143
    HMMM says:

    Cuts to the number of full-time military personnel would risk “the… peace of the world”, the Archbishop of York fears.
    War is Peace?.

  144. 144
    VoteUkip says:

    Finding the magical money tree to pay for it, dickhead.

  145. 145
    Joss Taskin says:

    But wasn’t all the funded by Taxpayers ?

  146. 146
  147. 147
    Whitewash r us says:

    We voted these people in and they did what they could to pay Labours last deficit before one off, it cost us a lot more than it should because it ended up as a fire sale, because the person flogging our kit off forgot she was selling it for the country and should have gone for maximum not minimum, but she listened to her mates telling her how great she was, while they had their hands in the asset bag grabbing some companies that should have never ever been sold.

  148. 148
    Technomist says:

    The thing about people bleating on about anti-Tory bias is that they miss the point. There are lots of people who hate the BBC’s biased reporting who are not Tory. Merely whinging about the lack of coverage and approval for a Tory message is simply self-serving. What is needed is action to make the BBC reflect the full range of opinions in our country.

  149. 149
    gramma says:

    Thanks for the memories.

  150. 150
    Technomist says:

    But you are from a generation which remember using a typewriter. Most of the public have no idea what you are talking about. To get through to them you have to speak to them, not complain about their not havign expereiced the same things as you. It is as irrelevant as those boring luvvies who drone on about the sixties. No-one cares.

  151. 151
    Kerry lost because of some Florida chads says:

    plonker – learn your recent US history. It was onle 2004 for feck sakes, with George dubious Bush’s brother ficling it for him in Floride – what was his name again, Neddy?

  152. 152
    Mrs. Ball-Scooper, TRIPLE FLIPPER says:

    Tell me about it……………

  153. 153
    I d on't nee d no doctor says:

    Ed Miliband, plebs, plebs, plebs, plebs. It’s the tories fault I called them plebs, it can’t be my fault, nothing is ever my fault.

  154. 154
    A taxpayer says:

    You confuse the fortunes of the government with the fortunes of the country. More people keeping more of their own money in their pockets is a good things and stimutes growth.

    Giovernments collecting more taxes is a bad thing. Sometimes government spendin gcan encourage some growth, but mainly government spending is inefficient, if not actually wasteful. If there are fewer government employees and those there are have more resonable pay and conditions, that is a good things.

  155. 155
    Red Red Whine says:

    All the so called comedians on the News Quiz openly said they hated Tories. All the panelists on AQs were openly anti Tory including the homosexual Tory minister and as for the audience it would have been at home at the socialist worker’s Christmas party.

  156. 156
    I d on't nee d no doctor says:

    It’s all the tories fault that the police lied, that Ed Miliband shouted plebs numerous times at PMQ’s, that the media splashed Mitchell and plebs on their front pages. Oh yes lying, dumbed down britain, its all the tories fault.
    When will labour, the police and the media, take a long hard look at themselves, the bunch of lying scumbag arsewipe shits?

  157. 157
    Brown sold all the gold and bankrupted the country whilst Bliar just involved UK in unwinnable wars says:

    Brown sold most of the UK Gold Reserves when he bacame Chancellor in 1997(when Gold was at the bottom of the market). We should have suspected he was fucking incompetent then but it took the media another 13 years before they realised

  158. 158
    idnnd (I don't need no doctor) mod trying to stop me telling the truth says:

    It’s never the fault of labour, the police and the media. Its always the tories fault.
    So why did Miliband shout plebs at PMQs, why did the police federation lie, why did the police lie, why did the press print lies. Oh yes it’s never any of these fault.

  159. 159
    The Last Post says:


  160. 160
    idnnd (I don't need no doctor) mod trying to stop me telling the truth says:

    And you have spell check, and don’t use it, with your modern technology.

  161. 161
  162. 162
    idnnd (I don't need no doctor) mod trying to stop me telling the truth says:

    Poli ce have put out a warning that a dangerous unknown entity, to them, is running amock in the country. Commisioner Ho gan-Ho we has been subjected to this entity, and is reported to be in somewhat of a state. The poli ce have named this entity as THE TRUTH, but ,as yet, do not understand it’s purpose.

  163. 163
    idnnd (I don't need no doctor) mod trying to stop me telling the truth says:

    Unimpressive full stop.

  164. 164

    No. You do not understand about how argument works.

    Pleb makes a point about what he holds to be the wonders of CEGB in the 60s and 70s. It is only right in answer to point out what we got in return for that socialist nightmare.

    You cannot accept Pleb’s point and reject mine on your grounds without risking condemnation of being dogma driven.

    How many people remember this stuff is completely another argument and there I can understand that you have a point on which I would argue using the following quote:

    Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

    George Santayana 1863-1952.

    Are you now going to tell me that because he died 60 years ago, the truth that he uttered then is somehow untrue today?

  165. 165

    Nо. Yоu dо nоt undеrѕtаnd аbоut hоw аrgumеnt wоrkѕ.

    Plеb mаkеѕ а pоіnt аbоut whаt hе hоldѕ tо bе thе wоndеrѕ оf CEGB іn thе 60ѕ аnd 70ѕ. It іѕ оnly rіght іn аnѕwеr tо pоіnt оut whаt wе gоt іn rеturn fоr thаt ѕосіаlіѕt nіghtmаrе.

    Yоu саnnоt ассеpt Plеb’ѕ pоіnt аnd rеjесt mіnе оn yоur grоundѕ wіthоut rіѕkіng соndеmnаtіоn оf bеіng dоgmа drіvеn.

    Hоw mаny pеоplе rеmеmbеr thіѕ ѕtuff іѕ соmplеtеly аnоthеr аrgumеnt аnd thеrе I саn undеrѕtаnd thаt yоu hаvе а pоіnt оn whісh I wоuld аrguе uѕіng thе fоllоwіng quоtе:

    Thоѕе whо саnnоt rеmеmbеr thе pаѕt аrе соndеmnеd tо rеpеаt іt.

    Gеоrgе Sаntаyаnа 1863-1952.

    Arе yоu nоw gоіng tо tеll mе thаt bесаuѕе hе dіеd 60 yеаrѕ аgо, thе truth thаt hе uttеrеd thеn іѕ ѕоmеhоw untruе tоdаy?

  166. 166
    Flipping Tax Dodger says:

    So why is the MP for Morley Yorkshire wandering around Westfield London in an unkempt state?

  167. 167

    Sorry. That was for Technomist.

  168. 168
    I d on't nee d no doctor says:

    At last scientists have identified the cause of homosexuality. Erasure albums:

  169. 169
  170. 170
    porky-pola for me pal, Guido says:

    Ey Jimmy?

  171. 171

    We had a conversation about this some months ago, Sir William, and I am now thinking you may not have seen my last reply to you then.

    David Deutsch deals with this in The Fabric of Reality chapter 2 Shadows with a very interesting light experiment which anyone can do but is too complex to describe in this space.

    The very situation you describe in your first paragraph i.e. cannot have any observable consequences in our own universe, he claims to have dealt with. I do not agree with absolutely everything he says but on this I am fairly sure he is right.

    {If Sir William, to whom I wish the happiest of Christmases, has now gone for his lunch, then look out for another similar instalment in about three months! :-)}

  172. 172
    idnnd (I don't need no doctor) mod trying to stop me telling the truth says:

    Someone is posting under my name. Bad person, santa won’t be visiting you this year!

  173. 173
    HMMM says:

    Morley?, Morley?, remind me, Ah! that parachute jump I did up North.

  174. 174
    porky-pola for me pal, Guido says:

    I am me now, wind taker, kebab,

  175. 175
    Fiscal Cliff says:


  176. 176
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    A mob in Pakistan has stormed a police station and beaten to death a Muslim man accused of desecrating the Koran.

    The victim’s body was then set alight, according to witnesses.

    Religion of Peace

  177. 177
    porky-pola for me pal, Guido says:

    oh mother of mary jeezus hell – bring it on love..

  178. 178
    Kevin Maguire says:

    He was as pissed as a fart last night, you should have heard him calling the poli ce plebs. Ed’s nazi uniform was something to behold. I was so proud.

  179. 179
    We need more guns not less argument says:

    I think the NRA are using the same reasoning

  180. 180
    Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

    So they say. I,ve tried racking my brain but I can’t remember it affecting me in any way. No, far, far worse was to come.

  181. 181
    The Tories stole Xmas(with apologies to the Grinch) says:

    The BBC is institutionally anti-Tory…get over it !!!

  182. 182
    Tell Sid(he won't be bothered though) says:

    So you’ll be returning the windfalls you made on share allocations due to untility privatisation then ?

  183. 183
    porky-pola for me pal, Guido says:

    Linwood Hillman Imp driving to Norway like as if it’s arse is on fire, for a better world,

    Goog Linwood history and Hillman Imp, if I have lost you.

  184. 184
    History is written by those that teach the young says:

    But it woz all Father’s fault innit ? That’s wot they taught us in school !!!

  185. 185

    I would suggest the dismantling of Traitor’s Gate from its current position by the Tower of London and its reassembly adjoining the Member’s Terrace of the Palace of Westminster.

  186. 186
    porky-pola for me pal, Guido says:

    no this is better, from some scanadnavians from somewhere…

    Goodwood, down that south, lords and all, tory,

  187. 187
    porky-pola for me pal, Guido says:

    Might as well post Oxford’s (Morris) and Birmingham’s (Austin) Mini, rallying,


  188. 188
    porky-pola for me pal, Guido says:

    Any good Guido, and friends?

  189. 189
    One Term Dave says:

    My plans to lose the next election are going swimmingly. What ho!

  190. 190
    Sir William says:

    If it looks like theology, argues like theology, and reaches ineffable conclusions, it probably is theology.

    Happy Christmas!

  191. 191
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    If Cameron knew of the dodgy witness letter but did nothing, is he an accecessory after the act. Did he tell H hyphen H and if so why didn’t he arrest the culprit before the Ch 4 exposé?

  192. 192
    porky-pola for me pal, Guido says:

    think I know the above photo clip vid wotsit is from Bill and Ted’s excellent adventure film in time, but who cares? ey? They did their thorough research, the holywood yamks, unlike us.

  193. 193
    Follow Up Watch says:

    The Nurse inquest was adjourned to March 26th.

    Post mortem result, and original notes yet to be released to the family, let alone anyone else.

  194. 194
    HMMM says:

    The plod thicken.

  195. 195
    Martin Day says:

    Thanks! Your comments helps us improve your awful experience of this Conservative led coalition.

  196. 196
    CCHQ Press Officer says:

    I just heard a lady on the radio, vicar of a gay and lesbian church, criticise the proposed ban on gay weddings in Christian churches. She castigated the rest of the church for its homophobic attitudes, and in perhaps not the wisest choice of words, said how most churches have a big problem getting ‘bums on seats’, while in her church things are completely different. Yeah love, presumably ‘bums on cocks’.

  197. 197

    Sad indeed it would be for the work of David Deutsch if his work were condemned as theology by those who had not seen the light!

    As for theology, the outgoing Archbishop seemed to find it so ineffable that he didn’t bother effing it any longer…

  198. 198
    Get a grip says:

    I keep forgetting USA schools and malls are gun free zones, similar to the UK with drastic gun laws, now I wonder how many nutters with guns the USA has compared to the nutters with invisible guns we have.

  199. 199
    Chris Kitchener, adventurer says:

    That’s enough of your argy-bargy.

  200. 200
    Dickson of my dock side sailor's arse for a farthing says:

    Andew Twatchell needs to live my day, to see how the other arse lives, girls I have seen, and been

  201. 201
    Mandy the floater says:

    Indeed it is, just so long as I personally don’t have to pay.

  202. 202
    CCHQ Press Officer says:

    The Prince of Wales has called for a national health service with more compassion,which is just not possible as long as the Conservative led coalition is in Government.

    Writing in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine, Prince Charles called for a service that accounts for “the core human elements of mind, body and spirit” as well as disease,and the sooner David Cameron is removed as Prime Minister,the better.

    He urged medical professionals to develop a “healing empathy” to help patients find their own path to health.

    The Patient’s Association said “compassion” was “lacking” in the NHS.

  203. 203
    Dickson of my dock side sailor's arse for a farthing says:

    Got a modern day perversion for Gene Tierney – bring back necrophilia, I’d jump on her bones, what’s left.

    WAHAAARRRTTT! Ok, here she is with Rex Harrison, who could speak to the animals, talk to the animals, and things…

  204. 204
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Interesting Oedipal “Freudian slip”? “Father,” or “FatCher”? For many who are still condemning the old bat for the current state of affairs, the fact that their fathers voted Labour and created the Augean stable she tried to clean up should lead a reasonable person to conclude that, in fact, it COULD be all “Father’s” fault, innit? Thank goodness, 172 at 12:51 pm, your spellchecker didn’t pick up the typo, if indeed it is one. You made a better satirical point without even meaning to, perhaps? (It’s called “serendipity.”)

  205. 205
    Evie says:

    Happy Christmas Kebab & a wonderful 2013. :)

  206. 206
    Ratsniffer says:

    It might just be my imagination but Libor seem to be very quiet on plebgate. I wonder why this might be?

  207. 207
    Nora Unnin o'Bombin says:

    It all deepends on whether anyone is stupid enough to believe that you’ll make a U-turn on the EU in a couple of years’ time.

  208. 208
    David Cameron says:

    “Blowjob”. One word…or two words? Fuck I hate writing Christmas cards.

  209. 209
    Decisions, decisions says:

    To pull or not to pull

    Ch5 Rolf’s Animal Christmas.

  210. 210
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Due to circumstances beyond posters’ control, the modbot has now renumbered the comment immediately preceding mine, from “History etc.” I should know better, but at least I got the time stamp right.

  211. 211
    Herman Munster says:

  212. 212
    existentialise my size nine boot says:

    Sartre was a cuпt.

  213. 213
    U Rethritis says:

    He wouldn’t have been worth pissing on unless we set him alight first.
    Fight fire with fire-water.

  214. 214
    Nigel Farage says:

    Who are you?

  215. 215
    Get a grip says:

    Martin Day hated Labour, with a hate that got him banned on most blogs, just to let you know, in case your a Labour braindead lover of vile and hate and ineptness and a shallow party politics.

  216. 216
    Locke M Orlupp says:

    It would help if the gates were more effective at keeping the bastards in.

  217. 217

    Only just noticed this. Has the automated symposiarch been unkind to you?

  218. 218
    Whatever the weather says:

    This time last year the Eco loons were saying that the drought was caused by man made global warming and we must plant more windmills.

    This time this year the Eco Loons are saying the floods are caused by man made global warming and we must plant more windmills.

    Shame about the WEATHER ain’t it.

  219. 219
    Get a grip says:

    So she went for a different demographic, homosexuals and lesbians instead of heterosexuals, knowing your customers in a god way is a good business model.

  220. 220
    Jeremy Hardy says:

    I feel that I should explain and apologise.The BBC is my main source of income and in order to to keep getting work I have to guarantee a steady stream of anti-Tory vitriol, even if not particularly amusing. Marcus Brigstocke has the same dilemma, I believe. Toksvig, being gay, is more secure in her employment.

  221. 221
    AJeremy Hardy says:

    Happy memories of the MP who stood up in Parliament to opine that he had nothing against homosexuality, but did not want it rammed down his throat…..

  222. 222
    Piss off says:

  223. 223
    HMMM says:

    Lol, not the traditional greeting; Wish you a happy new year, but; Wish you a happy start of the new year. What’s Rumpey got up his sleeve in February?.

  224. 224
    Get a grip says:

    So Charley has also whitewashed 1997 to May 2010, the Labour corruption of the country and it’s destruction into a third world shithole or is it just the Labour accalites preparing for the second coming of the total destruction of the country, with it’s overrunning of the indigenous peoples of the country.

  225. 225
    Get a grip says:


  226. 226
    Ban All Religions says:

    Don’t forget the Christian cnuts burned heretics etc. etc.

    All religions are total bollux, and an endless source of wars and cruelty.

  227. 227
    Dave the Weak says:

    ueers are my best buddies

  228. 228
    No longer living on Merseyside but did once says:

    You obviously don’t remember the huge piles of rubbish stacked on the football pitches near Menlove Avenue, and the dead going unburied at Allerton Cemetery…

  229. 229
    Anonymous says:

    With a second placed outside wherever the BBC are at the moment.

  230. 230
    PissedasaParrot says:

    c’est la vie

  231. 231
    Physics Thoughts says:

    The interference experiment of Young is the key which opens the door to the sum over histories interpretation of Quantum effects, and the notions of multiverse.

    The modelling problem is wave / particle duality: Instead of assuming statistical collapse across a probability spectrum when the pattern is observed, perhaps it is the understanding of the true mechanics of the photon itself and what it is passing through which is not quite right.

    The matterless slit experiments are of fundamental importance here.

  232. 232
    Anonymous says:

    None of them as good or as well driven as Nick Jesty’s Rover V8 powered rallycross Imp…

  233. 233
    James Bond says:

    I like Q. He gives me all the best boys toys

  234. 234
    Handycock Immigrant Trafficker says:

    I love you Gordon. I was on to a winner with you for my Peerage, why did you go and lose power? Now the cat is out of the bag about all the asylum seekers I brought in to Portsmouth for you and I am losing any popularity I had left very quickly. Oh why Oh why did you lose the last election? Boaz.

  235. 235
    Kebab cricket updates says:

    Dinda continues from the Pavilion End

  236. 236
    Sun King says:

    Something has gone wrong with the Earth’s orbit. It is just about dark here now when it was light yesterday and this day should be longer than yesterday.

  237. 237
    Brush Lover says:

    Where’s Derek Fowlds? Basil needed an adult foil not these unpleasant little kiddies.

  238. 238
    Tom Watson says:

    So Fred – What have we got for tonight?

    “Well it’s not looking too bad, there’s a good chance we could touch upon 11 or 12, with a good chance of damp patches in low areas.”

  239. 239
    The dishonest Labour shambles says:

    Brown was propping up some bullion banks.

    Example of politics trying to counteract economics.

    The system supported is not going to support the UK moving forward, but did get the US out of a fix.

    This will end badly, as is now becoming obvious.

    Brown should hang.

  240. 240
    A Mitchell says:

    And were more bike friendly.

  241. 241
    UK Public says:

    In the spirit of most things European, that sentiment is not reciprocated.

    Vote UKIP.

  242. 242
    Physics Watch says:

    The interference experiment of Y0ung is the key which opens the door to the sum over histories interpretation of Quantum effects, and the notions of multiverse.

    The modelling problem is wave / particle duality: Instead of assuming statistical collapse across a probability spectrum when the pattern is observed, perhaps it is the understanding of the true mechanics of the photon itself and what it is passing through which is not quite right.

    The matterless slit experiments are of fundamental importance here.

  243. 243
    Herr Mann says:

    I’m almost tempted to get a Twitter account just to tell Herman what he can do with his European project.

  244. 244
    not a machine says:

    I have just had a thought , for any phorensic economic journos , these 5 test criteria that Gordon made for the euro , did selling off half the gold (as blessed by Tony and Peter ) have any effect on the exchange rate (or any of the other criteria) when the bust came ………. ???? along with Lisbon …

    I mean what would have been the exchange rate had he not sold off the gold ??

    Happy winterval labour

  245. 245
    The NHS is the health version of the BBC says:

    The healing empathy bit is confusing. Isn’t there an oath that is taken by doctors ? Or is he referring more the the NHS pleb classes ?

    Being more polite when showing people the door, denying treatments or euthanizing would not be a bad idea, but misses the point.

    Taking an axe to the unnecessary layers of management may help.

  246. 246
    MI5 says:

    They are waiting for the former Chief Whip to lead the rebellion against Call me Dave…

    And to rid us of this masquerading “Tory”….

    That might be one good thing in 2013…

    Dave can then fuck off to the canoodle with Rebekah and the Astor clan….

  247. 247
    Mrs Moppet says:

    Well old big ears is going to have one fucking big mess to rule over when his turn comes. Serves the twit right.

  248. 248
    Anonymous says:

    why are men of peace promoting wars?

  249. 249
    Left wing twat spotter says:


  250. 250
    not a machine says:

    Lacking compassion ?? I would class my experience as being utterly devoid of any.

    I dont know what they teach at the NHS these days … There are a number of areas I might want to look at , but I will save that for another day , but HRH has certainly spoken a little into what I would term as cultural problem , although I believe its is much bigger than his initial enquiry , as we may be talking about , unsuitable for purpose ideaology ….

  251. 251
    albacore says:

    Well, you can be kind and deem LibLabCons pricks
    Whose only talent is to get on folks’ wicks
    But surely by now it’s as plain as can be
    All their cock-ups were made deliberately
    When you excise the lies and half-truths and spin
    Who else is left as the enemy within?

  252. 252
    Hargret modge says:

    Oh I say…

  253. 253
    Anonymous says:

    Admit it taffy, you’re fucking impotent, that’s why you’re on here 24/7.

  254. 254
    beast(no jimmy s ) of ward 10 says:

    The hypocriitic one?
    Yes there is
    First do some harm and don’t give a toss
    Inspect peoples gentials for a laugh ( an anal probing is even funnier)
    Mess around with body parts
    Experiment upon your patients in return for a freebie
    I stay away from the fuckers

  255. 255
    Be45t of the Hamptonwicks says:

    Gordon McMental
    I love him as he gives me all the best boys

  256. 256
    Anonymous says:

    when you sell national assets the country becomes poorer.
    everyone has to pay more then for the running of the country.
    in case of emergency needs, say in order to protect ourselves, assets may have to be sold…or used as collateral. Given that we have weapons for foreign wars, we have more weapons as it is, than we need.

  257. 257
    Dickson of my dock side sailor's arse for a farthing says:

    Didn’t grannies used to be behnd tories,
    throwback when they had no vote?
    Saying Labour lads like my tossing hubby,
    is like living with a total fool goat.

    Vote Labour? Why, when I cannot vote,
    vote for the poshmen, I say.
    Least they say hello to me for some reason,
    up top of horse, going neigh.

  258. 258
    Dickson of my dock side sailor's arse for a farthing says:

    Marketing see. Think about it, if you can.

  259. 259
    Libertarian says:

    The notion of a state provided health care system is a curious one from the libertarian perspective.

    The implied denial of freedom of choice on matters of patient health care, and employment for health care providers is finely balanced with the supposed moral consequence of society not providing such a system.

    The required inflation of the state is also of concern.

    There could be a case for removal of the service if the moral consequences of providing it slip, particularly if standards of patient care fall.

    However, there is perhaps a stronger argument for simply bringing the standards back up to where they were originally intended to be. Compassion would be a component of this, but it is the actions not the sentiment which are important.

  260. 260
    Dickson of my dock side sailor's arse for a farthing says:

    the pink pound… Right, I have said enough marketing secrets now.

  261. 261
    Anonymous says:

    “What is needed is action to make the BBC reflect the full range of opinions in our country.”

    There is already a Charter in place which covers impartiality and which the BBC ignores on an hourly basis. The Guardian has to compete fairly with other newspapers and look how they’re doing. Let’s scrap the need for impartiality and truly democratise the broadcast media. Let’s see how the BBC lasts against a Fox News like competitor.

  262. 262
    Dickson of my dock side sailor's arse for a farthing says:

    get on with it olds – take a long walk in the snow granny without your overcoat, and you grandad, you also take a long walk, on a short pier.


  263. 263
    Anonymous says:

    given that the Queen spends 2 hours everyday reading ‘her’ government,s red boxes, she would know all about asset sales. The PM meets her every week for a weekly update. Prince Charles also lnfluence the government behind the scene.
    Does it mean that the monarchy and the politicians are all in it together?
    is everything an establishment fix, but fronted by the elected politicians. the world is a mystery!
    ..did the Queen ever say, you Mr PM, do not sell my gold.
    …is it her gold. nothing ever changed.

  264. 264
    Flash Gordon says:

    He’s Emperor Ming from the planet Mongo.

  265. 265
    Anonymous says:

    all organisations have a purpose.
    what is the purpose of the BBC?
    why does it have to operate under royal assent?

  266. 266
    Dickson of my dock side sailor's arse for a farthing says:

    By the way Catrin, fill your womb for gawd sakes – you will regret when you get older if you don’t. Pick anyone, and forget love – think pure lust.

  267. 267
    Legal Eagle says:

    Perhaps best to just express opinion at the ballot box, otherwise cross check the laws on libel / defamation first.

    It is fine to tweet anything derogatory, provided you do not impute to him actions you cannot prove and which may cause others to think less of him.

    A tweet along the lines of: ‘f’ off you ‘f’ing goat ‘f’er

    – Would not be fine as it imputes a defamatory action which you likely could not prove either way, nor prove without DNA tests of said goat and/or a reliable eye witness.

    A tweet along the lines of: ‘f’ off you ‘f’ing ‘c’

    – Should be fine, but a little tasteless.

  268. 268

    Indeed. I am particularly attached to the Time-Independent Schrödinger Equation and to me this is clearly not theology!

    But this is Christmas so in order to keep things light-hearted, here is part of a footnote in Daniel Dennett’s Sweet Dreams:

    I find this recent invasion by physicists into the domains of cognitive neuroscience to be a cloud with a silver lining: for the first time in my professional life, an interloping discipline beats out philosophy for the prize for combining arrogance with ignorance about the field being invaded.

    I like Dan hugely and I love philosophy. But I am not quite sure myself who is going to have the last laugh here…

  269. 269
    Legal Eagle says:

    Oh, forgot to mention that you cannot libel the dead, so his parents should be fair game.

    Don’t send more than one tweet from the same IP / account either as harassment could be construed.

  270. 270
    Dr Hans Zarkov says:

    Emperor Ming from the Mongo Union I think Flash…

  271. 271
    Dickson of my dock side sailor's arse for a farthing says:

    Yes, the argies are well woulnd up that the tories have made antartica Queen Lizzy part – is Cameron trying a Thatcher, winding up argies? But it will be well parky fighting a war in the antartic Dave, for fuck sakes, winter or summer.

  272. 272
    Dickson of my dock side sailor's arse for a farthing says:

    Derek Fowlds? Never mind him – there is definatly someone up Basil’s arse, as usual. It’s the beeb after all, with kiddies.

  273. 273
    Noah says:

    particle physicists are taking the piss. Ask yourself “What is raining?” It is in time fuckwits, ask yourself ” what is time?” now fuck off and come back with an answer.

  274. 274
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Chucklehead has form in this airy-fairy healing sort of thing, being part of that weird holistic homeopathic alternative medicine wheeze that Peter Hain was involved with lo these many years ago, which was so dodgy it needed to re-incorporate without its royal patronage lest the King-to-be be somehow tainted. (Note to Pete: cut down on the carrot juice and maybe, just maybe, you won’t look so off-colour.)

  275. 275
    Dickson of my dock side sailor's arse for a farthing says:

    bugger it,

  276. 276
    The Libor party says:

    Vote UKIP, get us !

  277. 277
    graddlebucket says:

    Unclean beasts by Twos. Clean beasts by SEVENS. Look it up.

  278. 278
    Gooey Blob says:

    Because it suits Labour to keep them there. It’s for non-Labour politicians to give them aspirations and opportunities to get themselves out of it.

  279. 279
    graddlebucket says:

    Have they really realized ?

  280. 280
    Dickson of my dock side sailor's arse for a farthing says:

    24/7??? Thanks – I seem to make an impact after just a few hours on her, but I don’t meww around, I get right down to it, after about a ten minute warm up, posting short comments.

    OK OK, so I have a brain the size of a planet – please don’t patronise me, ey isn’t it Marvin?

  281. 281
    graddlebucket says:

    Live long and enjoy your future @55 &c. I wish you a long existence full of despair and pain.

  282. 282
    Dickson of my dock side sailor's arse for a farthing says:

    oh impotent?? Yes I have had my problems in that area in the past, but I am fine now – can rise to the ocassion at anytime now. Feel free to find out pal.

  283. 283
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    One could say that, although they cannot be measured in such units as of those of weight or length or duration, such concepts as you have mentioned can certainly be observed in their consequences. Perhaps they are only constructs, in the sense that we need to put a name to conditions which seem to bring about certain results, but one could easily ascribe this to natural selection, in the sense that humans who possess the instincts for these things prospered while those who lacked them didn’t, as a survival-of-the-fittest matter. Or, alternatively, as in the case of the Dexter Morgans of the world, one can acknowledge one’s own deficiencies in such qualities and at the same time recognise their necessity for producing that sort of life which conduces to societal harmony and evolution, i.e., “Well, I’ll go along with it anyway, can’t hurt.” The phenomena may only be observable in their results, as in the old film joke about “Don’t ask me how I got here, ‘coz I’m not sure myself.” Paradoxes are for cats in boxes, eh, CRMM?

  284. 284
    Gooey Blob says:

    Actually, Labour threw the 2015 election when they elected Ed.

    A 9-point poll lead at this stage in the electoral cycle is nowhere near enough for Labour. Come the election, Ed will win fewer seats than Gordon.

  285. 285
    Thick as a Planck says:

    5.22 and pissed. took more than 2 on board Noah

  286. 286
    Ryan Fest says:

    It’s coming to a country near you, very soon, you lucky people.

  287. 287
    Rob Wilson, MP - silly begger says:

    Dear Gordon,

    I wish to inform you that your letter to Santa is being placed in the public domain.

    It is quite apparent that you are mentally unhinged. This priggish obsession you have with pretentious letter-writing, and now a letter to Santa.

    I’m afraid what this suggests is that you are not fit to be left alone at home on your own.

    I’m placing this letter in the public domain.

    Yours officiously,
    Rob Wilson, M.P., P.C., C.H., ABC, Litt.D., c_u_n_t

  288. 288
    Peter Hitchens says:

    Saturday Seven-Up….Why the feck haven’t I got something like this on my blog?

    You fucking spotty youths always steal the best ideas.


  289. 289
    Si vis pacem, para bellum says:

    We sleep safely at night because rough men stand ready to visit violence on those who would harm us.
    – Winston Churchill.

  290. 290
    graddlebucket says:

    Live long and enjoy your future @55 &c. I wish you a long existence full of despair and pain.

  291. 291
    i ain't got nuffink in my house after what the feds done to me says:

    100 percent whining merseyshite

  292. 292
    Righties love dishing it out but can't take any back says:

    Is thatcher dead yet?

  293. 293
    Hospital Watch says:

    Apparently recovering well, all good. Cheers for asking.

  294. 294
    Noah says:

    depressing to read richard burton was a bender, never watch where eagles dare with the same enthusiasm. Is this homosexual increase anything to do with the welsh water ?

  295. 295

    Many people much better than I have been debating this subject since Socrates and, like him, I can only be completely sure that I know nothing.

    Once one reaches sub-particle stage, then everything else is a construct including even the concept of construct itself.

    Had the world come to an end yesterday or, as a better example the human race, what would have been the status of ethics? It would have ceased to exist is the common answer but I suspect that argument is flawed.

    Paradoxes are for people who try to reduce mathematics to logic and take over a decade to fail to do it, for quantum scientists, for philosophers, in fact for every self-examining person. Cats are unimportant in themselves. But if you take them away there may just be nothing left worth examining…

    Excuse me a moment whilst I remove this ridiculous 2 from the end of my moniker – Ah! That is better! *presses Submit Comment and waits…*

  296. 296
  297. 297
    Jacintha Saldanha says:

    Careful, that could be an Aussie radio DJ looking to take the mickey out of you; say nothing, and you won’t say anything you’ll later come to regret. Trust me on this.

  298. 298


    5.22 An operation is the expression of a relation between the structures of its result and of its bases.

    How the fuck did Wittgenstein know that all those years ago. You have to admit that that is clever…

  299. 299
  300. 300
    nellnewman says:

    What is all this fuss about – the Greeks proved that 30% of population were homosexual , another 30% were bi sexual.

    What on earth does it natter?!!

  301. 301
    nellnewman says:

    or ‘matter’ even!!

  302. 302
    Righties love dishing it out but can't take any back says:

    The comments here, whilst sporadically amusing, read like the demented ravings of far right lunatics. I suppose it’s just as well you can vent your spleen here, rather than kill gays and blacks.

  303. 303
    Dickson of my dock side sailor's arse for a farthing says:

    Burton was bender? He was bi pal, like all us welshmen. We shag sheep after all, so we are not fussy.

    But I suppose pretty beutiful ladies of any colour and race is our natural preference.

    Song for Lassie, coming home,

  304. 304
    Dickson of my dock side sailor's arse for a farthing says:


    Righties always like to be right pal, and if you tell them they are wrong, they strop off like little girlies, stamping their little penis feet.

  305. 305
    Ah ffs says:

    What’s wrong nothing on lefty BBC for you is strictly come dancing too advanced for your tiny lefty mind.

  306. 306
    handypara says:

    And a favourite of many of us here – PILGRIMS!

  307. 307
    Ah ffs says:

    Always thought lefties were dick heads.

  308. 308
    Anonymous says:

    if energy travels faster than speed of light, then ‘past’ may become visible after the ‘future’.
    is there a past…is there a future…are they all projections…is their such a thing as time?..clearly these concepts are in our heads so they ‘exist’…but then there is such a thing as a mind delusion… and even a mass mind delusion.

  309. 309
    Anonymous says:


    You show the typical compassion of a commie stasi. Stalin would have been proud of you.

  310. 310
    Anonymous says:

    Run along taffy, mummy says it’s beddiebyes.

  311. 311
    We won't forget says:

    “I suppose it’s just as well you can vent your spleen here, rather than kill gays and blacks.”

    As opposed to Labour, which Lied and Lied and Lied, Lied to Parliament, Lied to the people, Lied to Congress, Lied to the UN, in its insatiable, rabid, desire to launch an illegal war that killed/butchered/slaughtered one hundred and fifty thousand men, women, and children.

    Most of them non-white. Most of them Muslim. A mass slaughter of ethnics.

    By Labour.

    Oh, how you cheered.

  312. 312
    Labour's Ethical Foreign Policy says:

    “I suppose it’s just as well you can vent your spleen here, rather than kill gays and blacks.”

    As opposed to Labour, which Lied and Lied and Lied, Lied to Parliament, Lied to the people, Lied to Congress, Lied to the UN, in its insatiable, rabid, desire to launch an illegal war that killed/butchered/slaughtered one hundred and fifty thousand men, women, and children.

    Most of them working class. Most of them non-white. Most of them Muslim. A mass slaughter of ethnícs.

    By Labour.

    Oh, how you cheered.

  313. 313
    David Scamoron says:

    On yer bike, Mitchell. And no showing off doing U-turns in the quad.


    (Can’t have oiks like him showing me up.)

  314. 314
    CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

    Always better index-wise to put self-references into a separate table.

  315. 315
    CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

    >national health service, you can’t get more compassionate than that

    A suicide service would be more compassionate then the NDS, at least it’s exactly what it says it is rather than a bureaucratic treatment rationing scheme that inevitably fails.

  316. 316
    John Terry, I mean Kerry says:

    I’m easily confused Sir William, Sir. Sometimes I think I’m a footballer.

  317. 317
    CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

    Well it needs to take the compulsory membership and extortion funding parts of it out to be remotely moral to start with.

  318. 318
    Righties love dishing it out but can't take any back says:

    Actually, no. Tony Blair was one of the worst prime ministers this country’s ever had. In many respects, including the illegal war, he was more right wing than Thatcher. I actually respect Thatcher for the fact that the one time she led the country into war was on honourable grounds. I also hate Gordon Brown. The idea that the Labour party of today is left is hilarious. Blair and Brown taxed the poor more and the rich less than Cameron’s doing now.

  319. 319
    CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

    Good luck with Darien Scheme v2.

    Looks like Norway will be buying the Scotch this time.

  320. 320
    CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

    Adam Smith says no income tax, No corp tax, No Employee NI, No Employer NI, No CGT, No Stamp duty and no VAT and just a tax on the rental value of Land…

    That would leave Charlie boy well fucked.

  321. 321
    CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

    No, the unions owned it and we were fucked.

  322. 322
    The Far Right says:

    You are but an ass in a lions skin.

  323. 323
    CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

    The shares should have been given equally to voters. Citizens should not have to buy what is already theirs.

  324. 324
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I have read a lot of junk on here today. The Kerry / Chads poster person takes todays biscuit mind.

    As to the above comment of LEFP – It was “Labour” … well correct … save that the Tory Party [Of the time and some still in place with the remaining labour guilty] to a man and woman are equally as culpable for it all having happened for their spinelessness and cravenness to speak out at the time. They too are entrapped by Blairs mendaciousness and are as guilty for Blairs crimes against humanity.

  325. 325
    Libertarian says:

    They also did great harm to the the notion of liberty, and very nearly brought tyranny to bear down on us all.

    The crimes against liberty are what they and Labour are charged, and to which the people must hold them all to account.

  326. 326
    CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

    I think someone called Neville Chamberlain was caught out on that one…

  327. 327
    CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

    Look what happened when they worshipped Marx instead… Even worse death toll.

  328. 328
  329. 329
    Machiavelli says:

    Given this:

    Should one be set up in the UK to petition the UK government not to accept Piers back if he is deported ? Guido ?

  330. 330
    Righties love dishing it out but can't take any back says:

    I respect the few Tories like Clarke who voted against the war. Labour’s Ann Clwyd sold her soul in return for Blair making her a “human rights envoy” to Iraq. She clearly did a bang up job, the stupid, worthless c-unt.

  331. 331

    That statement is quite transitive when you think about it.

    I wonder whether, or not, Sartre would have approved of it?

  332. 332
    Blowing Whistles says:

    The Militant Political Homosexual mafia – have been entrapping any other body or group [In the above comment it is the Blacks] into their dirty little coven whereby the MPHM – surreptitiously ‘attach’ their movement to any other movement body or group – to promote the MPHM’ agenda above all.

    It is a trick – which the Communists and Marxists have honed for decades and which tatchel has become well known for.

    There are plenty of dirty one eyed Militant political amoral mongrels out there – who ‘know not much less care about what they do; save for their own dirty ends’.

  333. 333
    Merry motherfuckin christmas says:

  334. 334
    Blowing Whistles says:

    If your talking about ken Clarke – I suggest you think again long and hard about that duplicitous legal mongrel.

  335. 335
    Blowing Whistles says:

    If people of the labour ilk in the Rhonda have not ‘now seen’ through all of Baghdad Annies bluster [crocodile tears / NHS] – they “AIN’T EVER”
    gonna wake up from their slumber. [Apologies for the shouting]

  336. 336
    US Watcher says:

    Hah, Uncle Dolemite… classic: ‘You rat soup eating mother fuckers.’

  337. 337
    Marion the cat says:

    Guido must be so impressed (as am I) that the standard of education, literacy and philosophy run so much higher in this blog than in CIF.

    Unfortunately it doesn’t run the country, though.

  338. 338
    Tory political broadcast for the Arse Party says:

    Good try, but a sad attempt my right wing pouffter. lefties always get the ladies, and you know it, and you just can’t stand, can you boy?

  339. 339
    Bitten Pillow says:

    There are plenty of dirty one eyed trouser snakes in the Militant Political Homosexual mafia : Was that your point ?

  340. 340

    easily done so does John sometimes

  341. 341
    Anonymous says:

    Tribalism is for morons.

  342. 342
    Poo Corner says:

    Ed Balls is a economic retard

  343. 343
    NHS Skiver. says:

    No way. I’m to busy posing as a carer. Anyway there hasn’t been a risk assessment on lifting heavy vases. I might do my back in and have to be off sick on full pay and entitlements for a whole year

  344. 344
    P l e b says:

    Where is Schrodinger’s cat?

  345. 345
    Owned Jones says:

    I am a leading memberof Libor’s intelligentsia…

  346. 346
    Marion the cat says:

    As I was informed on the BBC news last week, bestiality, or more accurately here, Goat F***ing, is not necessarily illegal in many EU states. Definitely illegal in the UK however. As a cat with relatives in Wales I can only thank God and some previous legislature.

  347. 347
    Owen Jones says:

    Questions are being asked over Domino’s Pizza entrepreneur’s £775k donation to Guido Fawkes, the primary question being “are you mental?

  348. 348
    CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

    Luckily for him, the voting public are too. All thanks to the wonders of state adolescent crèches.

  349. 349
    Paddypedia says:

    It is rather more than probable that Guido is impressed by nothing.

    Except maybe a fine Cognac or a large pair of breasts…

  350. 350
    Kebab The Bookie says:

    And the Strictly Come Dancing champion of 2012 is Louis Smith!

    Well Done to Guido for his win double with Bradley Wiggins !

  351. 351
    CarryHole is a complete Hunt says:

    On my last trip to the NDS I noticed lots of compassion form the nursing staff for celebrities in the mags they’re reading while ignoring patients.

  352. 352
    Rage says:

    young owen, surely you mean frequently instead of increasingly; shame about
    edukasun edukasun edukasun

  353. 353
    EU Legal Eagle says:

    Hmm, Zoophilia is actually legal in Belgium, it is only the distribution of Zoo Porn which is not.

    In fact, even if you cause suffering to the animal through having sex with it in Belgium, that is fine.

    So: Beligum, Denmark, Finland, Germany, Sweden all legal, with various restrictions in some with respect to animal rights and harm.

  354. 354
    Dolemite says:

    You no business born insecure mother fucker.

  355. 355
    J Saville Esq says:

    So Louis Smith wins Strictly. Shows that mutton dressed as lamb gets you only so far eh – Kimberley, Denise and Dani.

    Note to Strictly organisers – get some classier birds on next year.

  356. 356
    The EU Uncertainty Principal says:

    In a superposition of states: Simultaneously being given a saucer of milk in England and violently buggered in Belgium.

    Open the box and what will you expect to find ?

  357. 357
    US Watch says:

    Liberty loves pizza. Get over it.

  358. 358
    Noah says:

    dear transport for london
    thank you for rejecting my appeal against your infliction of a demand for 60 odd quid because i had a tyre on the yellow box markings. as you can see from the photo i was not causing an obstruction and the only reason i was stuck there is because the fuckwit in front of me decided to stop 4 feet short of the vehicle in front.have a nice day you fucking retarded. misguided.jobsworth.
    Ahhh that’s better . thanks

  359. 359
    Noah says:

    are you saying Welsh will shag anything, well I am shocked.

  360. 360
    Noah says:

    i hate to interject any left. right thing but if I can point out that over the years the intelligent guys have bred with the good looking women and so over time the intelligent families tend to be better looking.

  361. 361
    Oh Mandy says:

    I like Toy Boys

  362. 362
    Saffron says:

    My wife thinks that the Liebour Party has now become the pits,despite the fact that she comes from a family who had the local Liebor Committee in her house.
    All of our family would not ever vote Liebour again hell would have to freeze over before we would vote for this party of marxists.

  363. 363
    Litty Gation says:

    Are you saying we should shoot Rompuy dead before calling him a Twat?

  364. 364
    Time-Independent Schrödinger Equation says:

    If you would care to read further up the page …

  365. 365
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    What impresses Guido is when someone waves a cheque under his nose, and says, “Mr Staynz, we’re impressed by the number and quality of your readership and we’d like to advertise with you.” Of course, a woman of excellent mammary development is probably not looked upon with disfavour by our landlord, and we all know, if offered, he would not decline a nice snifter of Hennessy’s (especially if you’re buying). But our Plotter-in-Chief must consider that he is a married man with two daughters and must actually contribute to the family coffers, so he must maintain the high quality of the blog and the concomitant high quality of the readers, too, so that he can keep up his end of the matrimonial and parental financial bargain. We help him in this regard with the high tone of our postings. I am sure it makes some impression on him. And if it doesn’t, who cares what he thinks, anyway? We’d just tell him, there’s the door, and he should make sure it doesn’t hit his bum as he leaves, because that’s just the kind of contrary geezers and geezettes we are.

  366. 366
    Labour; the Party for Mongs says:

    What a fucking tit.

    Labour lie through their teeth to the whole planet and then embark on an illegal war that kills 150,000 men women and children.

    Labour = lovely. Labour = progressive.

    The Evil Tory Baby-Eating Tory filth kill no-one, cut nothing, generally don’t do anything at all, really, other than keep the country ticking along.

    Tories = Nasty Party.

  367. 367
  368. 368
    Gordon McRuin says:

    I’m Emperor Mong from the planet Mingo.

  369. 369
    A former Labour-voter says:

    So making jokes about mental health issues is now a core Labour value?

    I missed that meeting.

    Why don’t you say something outrageously homophobic?

    You know you want to.

  370. 370
    Saffron says:

    Bliar/Mc Doom.
    The worst pair of Liebour PM’s in this countries history based on what we now know about this pair of chancers.
    Why oh why are we talking about this horrible party ever forming a government again.
    Cammoran is an asshole PR is in his veins,as is Cleggy,the Cons are finished as are the Limp Dumbs,which leaves us with the HORIBBLE party.
    CHAMPAGNE SOCIALISTS SPRINGS TO MIND, and they are taking you on a ride.

  371. 371
    M says:

    Fuck 007 it costs a fortune. Dial Geographic instead

  372. 372
    Noah says:

    are you trying to be clever?

  373. 373
    Physics Watch says:

    Ask Wigner’s friend.

  374. 374
    Anonymous says:

    Drones are being used to kill.
    what is stopping it from being used in domestic airspace … for eavesdropping or worse.

  375. 375
    US Watch says:

    Good question: This is already being done.

    Strictly speaking though, as the drones are owned by the military, they should not be used in this way against the civilian population.

    Alex Jones has a lot to say about this.

  376. 376
    Anonymous says:

    if the andrew mitchell saga ends up rubbishing the police where will it leave the jimmy saville investigation and where that might lead.

  377. 377
    Loon watch says:

    Owen. Thanks for reminding us that the left has a deep reserve of idiots.

  378. 378
    The missing CCTV from the Huhne case says:

  379. 379
    Anonymous says:

    …whoever is able to generate sympathy wins.

    The monarch commeth in 3D.
    there is a lot of happening that is, well, out of this world.

  380. 380
    Grumpy old git says:

    I once heard a story about Irving Berlin, during the war, being invited to a lunch Churchill held that included a lot of other senior figures. He was horrified when, at one point Churchill turned to him and asked his advice about a political problem to do with Eastern Europe. If I remember rightly, the PM was soon disabused of thinking he was Isiah – perhaps it was some official who had blundered.

  381. 381
    Chris Evans says:

    What, Alex Jones from the One Show?

  382. 382
    US Watch says:

    Erm, No. Talking about the Infowars guy, the radio host in TX.

  383. 383
    Anonymous says:

    military technology always goes commercial.
    when money is short the government could sell licences…
    forget democracy, the world of feudal kingdom commeth, powered by science and technology.
    as an aside, is there a link between wars in the muslim world, size of muslim families and sustainable living?

  384. 384
    Ah ffs says:

    Seems to be a school boys pretend political convention , never seen any Independent pages before as I won’t buy a newspaper, no wonder the country is going to the dogs with brainwashed PC idiots like that lot, how the hell Camoron lost the last election and had to hold the Libshites hand to take power from the schoolboy party I will never understand.

  385. 385
    Anonymous says:

    boris johnson and teresa may back topcop.
    will cameron resign? …was that the plot?

  386. 386
    Conspiracy Watch says:

    Operation Fairbank

  387. 387
    A mean-spirited twerp says:

    Erm, dropping a virus that makes their balls fall off?

  388. 388
    not a machine says:

    The first rustle in the electronic wild west ? see if Guido smells somthing in Mr Stamers , guidelines ??

    Other than Gate Gate which seems to have hit the swamp version of ping pong or first into missed the apocolypse school of public re habilitation figures ruse as moots of new lib dem leader figure stalks , perhaps politics has erm had its say until new year goodness knows the last month has been a bit lack lustre.

    probebly change my monica in new year , as might want to comment in a new arena , have a thoughtful and peacefull christmas and try not to forget why we celebrate this festival , it may well be persecuted and suffering in its connections to people , and the trespasses have been so numerous recently , upon it , forgiving them is very difficult even with those who I had once thought relaible that have taken oaths and vestments and they probebly think the same of me , taking pot shots anon . but then that troubling question “had I not spoken up and offended would lies have been complete”

    The christian faith is not like a simple question , we perhaps start out there and see it or dismiss it , neither is it some sort of lucky charm , non of the anti thesis to christianity have in finality won through , they still look at the universe and its shape and ponder , where it all came from and why it is the way it is . Thankfully the HOC has not yet been able to take a vote on the unknown .

  389. 389
    Cashier Cameron, club Clegg says:

    Maybe if Cameron had adopted true Conservative policies ……
    instead he’s just pushing his controller’s agenda.

  390. 390
    David Scamoron says:

    That’s what I’ve got.

  391. 391
  392. 392
    Truly liberating - Eduardo Rovira : A Evaristo Carriego says:

  393. 393
    Santa says:

    Dear (as in costly) Gordon


    Being given the sack wasn’t good enough for you, eh ?
    Perhaps you’d like a nice thick stake as well.


    Love (as in nul points)



  394. 394
    General Pattern says:

    I’m hoping to make good my escape before it reaches that stage.


    In the Beeb you trust.


    Fools !

  395. 395
    Mrs Moppet says:

    Better still – scrap the whole damned thing and don’t come back again.

  396. 396
    Mrs Moppet says:

    So just don’t pay. Time to start revolting against all this pettyfogging jobsworth-led bureaucracy

  397. 397
    How not to win friends or influence people says:

  398. 398
    Marmite says:

    Well said.

  399. 399

    The date was Wednesday, February 9th, 1944. It is in Jock Colville’s diaries but his explanation has clearly been added later. As Private Secretary to the PM, he takes care to cover his position and pins the blame for the misunderstanding on WSC himself, having previously told him that Isaiah was: a Fellow of All Souls and Tutor of New College. Note that these diaries were only published in 1985, 20 years after Churchill’s death.

    My strong suspicion is that he was kindly covering up for someone else to save their embarrassment and he figured such was WSC’s regard that it could by then absorb the knock of a comic misunderstanding, as he terms it, without any injury.

    Were that not to be the case, he would have to ask us to believe that Irving Berlin, in Britain to entertain the troops, would also be thought by the great man to have been the same man who penned those dispatches from the British Embassy. This is simply too improbable even to consider.

  400. 400
    Alice says:

    BBC News tells us about a Spanish family winning the lottery
    They won “400,000 Euros, that’s about half a million Dollars”, they say.
    So BBC prefer to give the conversion in Dollars rather than Pounds!

  401. 401

    One can only continue to be amazed at what life throws up so unexpectedly, Mr dePisse.

    The Plotter-in-Chief claims never to read the comments here. One must accordingly presume that he selects the Comment of the Day with a pin, albeit an electronic one.

    You are displaying embryonic signs of Idealism yourself. Whatever next?

    Happy Christmas to you, sir! ;-)

  402. 402

    This sounds ominous, nam.

    Post-Leveson, are you going to style yourself am a machine after all, i’m afraid? With your distinctive punctuation style, we shall know it’s you anyway!

    Your question had I not spoken up… is an interesting one. I take a Reverse Pascal view on this.

    All humans can be wrong. I do not see sufficient cause to believe in God. Come the time, should I have been proved to have been in error, I intend to look Him in the Eye (does he only have one overworked All-Seeing one I wonder?) and say something along the lines of You failed to provide evidence of Your existence so I made a rational choice. Faced with the same situation again, I could not do otherwise than repeat this course.

    If He is the all forgiving God, then He will have to see the honesty in such approach and excuse me completely. If He wants to be vindictive about it, then He is not a good God and therefore the whole structure of the Abrahamic faiths was based upon a false premise and half the world’s population have been sold a pup.

    Notwithstanding the above, I can still wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year – without upsetting my belief system unduly! :-)

  403. 403

    Divine Intervention must have changed my HTML! *panics*

  404. 404
    Avida Dollars says:

    It’ll melt away in no time at all.

  405. 405
    The arrogance of the BBC says:

    The BBC also persists in giving distances in relation to the UK locations in kilometres when every signpost I’ve seen in the UK lists distances in miles NOT kilometres and car speedometers are miles per hour NOT kilometers per hour but what can you expect from a public broadcaster that finds no irony in the word British in its title ??

  406. 406
    WANKER WATCH says:

    Whats with all you Wankers posting shit Wanky video clips that have absolutely no fucking relevance to anything political
    Fuck off back to YouTube , you wankers

  407. 407
    Herman van Rumpoy says:

    You won’t be allowed to have your miles for much longer. Your children are educated in metric and, as you oldies die out, the majority will actually want kilometres.

    Eugenics starts with EU.

  408. 408
  409. 409
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    Royal nurse who answered hoax call about Duchess of Cambridge had attempted to kill herself twice before

    And where was Vaz then?

  410. 410
    Owen Jones says:

    An open message to David Cameron.

    “Your bullshit doesn’t phase me”.

  411. 411
    A 45-year-old says:

    If they can ban the Telegraph from reporting temperatures in Fahrenheit (and only Fahrenheit), I’ll be a happy bunny.

  412. 412
    Owen's mum says:

    Owen, have you tidied your bedroom yet? If it’s not tidied within the hour, your Macbook Pro is going back to Amazon. Don’t think I won’t do it, Owen.

  413. 413
    Owen's mum says:

    Owen, have you tidied your bedroom yet? If it’s not tidy within the hour, your Macbook Pro is going back to Amazon.

    Don’t think I won’t do it, Owen.

  414. 414

    Now that your original has come out of purgatory I have looked at the useful links which mostly, I regret, go beyond my abilities to comprehend. But A matterless double slit is available in full, without subscription, in .pdf for anyone who wants it here:

  415. 415
    Mr Heythrop-Hunt says:

    “I’ve never known such a lying bastard government” – from my wife, an NHS nurse, who rarely swears.

  416. 416
    Anonymous says:

    now that the Downing Street police chap identity is in the public domian will he go the way of the royal nurse. is the message to the police…do not play politics via the press.
    royalty is divinity. do not mess.
    downing street is servant of divinity. do not mess.
    you plod. you ppl of the press. know your place.
    ….lines are being drawn.

  417. 417
    Abu Qatada says:

    Would one of our useless politicians just tell us how many unemployed, non skilled,immigrants this small island can support? What is enough?

  418. 418

    One of my mother’s friends once told me, at one of those awful socialising parties at which women of a certain age and type congregate, that she had tried to commit suicide three times in her life. I took it as an attempt to seek pity.

    The words were out of my mouth before I could stop myself: Well you must be very careless then!

    She laughed like a drain, rather validating my suspicion.

  419. 419
    the man from the pru says:

    The rational thing would be to say you believe in god AND the devil, just in case. We’re not on this earth or indeed in this universe long enough to gather enough data to make an informed choice, but to err on the side of caution seems to me to be the sensible course, much the same as taking out an insurance policy for the unforeseeable.

  420. 420
    Anonymous says:

    being elevated requires the ability to remove the veil.
    truth is fearsome but liberating. It starts with courage.
    …so Guinness anyone?
    …….is that why we have Guinness book of records?

  421. 421
    Back up tosser watch says:

    I think it might be just one compulsive obsessive, artless, boring, wanker.

  422. 422
    The arrogance of the BBC says:

    You are making assumptions when you address me as “you oldies”..I accept that lengths of cloth, room sizes etc are now measured in metres etc;liquid in litres etc and weight in kilos etc. BUTthe point I am making is that the BBC persists in referring to locations as so many kilometres away etc when distance in relation to places is still measured in miles on signposts etc….if the government wishes to actually standardize distance to comply with the rest of the EU then they should change signposts etc to read kilometres NOT miles BUT until they do the BBC should use the accepted official measure for road distance…they won’t of course preferring to change it my stealth after all could you imagine the furore in the Tory Party if Cameron decided to adopt kilometres ?

    Of course to answer “45 year old” in the USA they still measure distance in miles;liquid in quarts/gallons, weight in lbs and temperarture in Fahrenheit

  423. 423
    That's how he made his first million says:

    He may of course be paid “per click” every time someone clicks on the link

  424. 424
    Dodgy Dossier Redux says:

    Short memory your wife has….the last Labour Administration 1997 – 2007 under Bliar must surely STILL hold the record on that one ?

  425. 425
    A Lemming says:


  426. 426
    nellnewman says:

    I see the libdems want to replace cleggie with huhne ++++Laugh++++

    I always knew they were madder than a box of frogs!

  427. 427
    Your Friendly Neighbourhood Method To Madness Explanation Service says:

    This is so they can double up and run the broadcast on BBC World as well, where their audience might be more conversant with those units. They assume (“ass” “u” & “me”) that any real Briton (read: “Briton with their level of education”) ought to have traveled on the continent or North America and become aware of km’s (roughly 8/5 ratio to miles) and/or 4X rates (roughly 5/3 bucks to quid).

  428. 428
    Anonymous says:

    So the Loon thinks he’s a military expert now? It’s pretty obvious we have too much military or we wouldn’t be going out attacking and occupying countries that are no threat to us, on the basis of bastard les, on behalf of scum that have hijacked our “leaders”.

  429. 429
    Lou Scannon says:

    There are quite a few ‘documentaries’ to be found on Sky where the voice-overs go out of their way to give distances in kilometres while the original versions obviously used miles. I’m quite happy to use either measure as best suits the context. Trying to stamp out the use of miles is just stupid and unnecessary.
    Besides, kilometre is such a clumsy word.

  430. 430
    Owen Jones says:

    The shame of the Conservative led coalition.

    Living in poverty: Young mum has just £10 a week for food

  431. 431
    CCHQ Press Officer says:

    Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.

    Sally Bercow’s Twitter Account Hacked Again

  432. 432
    Fishy says:

    There seems to be a pattern emerging here. Politicised incompetent self serving servants of the public accusing the Tories of lying. She’s probably been asked to work a bit harder.

    Tell her to go and feed her patients before they all starve to death.

  433. 433
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Of course, just as The Fat Controller doesn’t watch every train, neither does Guido watch every posting made, for if he did, he’d have no life, I should think. I’m sure, though, he checks to see how many responses certain subjects get, and what the general tenor of the remarks is. As an editorial judgement, he cannot leave the whole matter delegated to Neo, as it is the guvnor’s name on the masthead, despite all his protestations (no pun) of it being a collective corporate logo sort of thing. So does he read ANY? I’m sure the Young Pretender shows him a few choice ones that really nail the subject. (And more than likely, some that are just simply hilarious in their skewering, to brighten up the Old Man’s day.)

    Happy Appropriate Winter Solstice Celebration Of Your Choice, CRMM!

  434. 434
    One Term Dave says:

    There is no upper limit. Saying we can do nothing about immigration is part of my plan to lose the next election, which I must say is succceeding beyond my wildest dreams.

  435. 435
    Living in a poor bourough of londonstani says:

    There’s room in my hallway for thousands more bit’s of printed shite to be shoved through the letter box by imi grants who are paid penuts to do it and somehow mannage to breed like rabbits, but, according to those that never ever have anything to do with them, are so vital to our economy.

  436. 436
    Anti British BBC says:

    According to our records that government never existed, and when they did were wonderfull.

  437. 437
    Bluto says:

    Ah, the old “Blair and Brown weren’t really Labour so we can airbrush from history Labour’s 13 years of crimes against the British people” gambit.

    Convincing, not.

    You are all the same. Nasty minded lefties always pointing the finger at others.

  438. 438
    Bluto says:

    Strange that. And yet when Labour in opposition went along with anything the Tories did they were completely exonerated.

    Labour, the only party that re-invents itself so it can avoid responsibility for all its past crimes against the British people.

  439. 439
    Calamity Clegg says:

    When am I off to Brussels for my highly-paid, tax free, sinecure ??

  440. 440
    Archie says:

    Spot-on, I’d say!

  441. 441

    Me in my teens..

  442. 442
    V Ermicelli says:

    Your turn will come, Q.

  443. 443
    jadedjean says:

    jadedjeangrants means more consumers which means more profits for the corporate elite class. And all the better if these immigrants are from areas where cognitive ability is low (think X-Factor types) as these groups are more likely to take on debts (bank loans) in order to consume more. It’s all about corporate profit. The same is happening in the US.
    Which tribe features largely (dispropotionately) in The City and Wall Street? They are known for their predatory behavior amongst lower ability groups.

  444. 444
    Anonymous says:

    what is sustainable living?
    are muslim brothers not willing to work for a living?
    are children life giving?
    “I learned the way a monkey learns – by watching its parents.”
    so says Prince charles. what did prince charles learn for he is into sustainable living.

  445. 445
    Anonymous says:

    it may be that the elite is just too lazy to believe in goodness.
    it loves extreme privileges. it is not interested in the kingdom of god.
    …where does the saying “faith moves mountains” comes from?

  446. 446

    Had I not known you better, I would have been immensely puzzled at your analogy of comparing postings with trains… ;-)

  447. 447
    another immigrant we didnt need says:

    Why the fuck was £1 fish man allowed into the UK?

  448. 448
    Anonymous says:

    determination delivers.

  449. 449
    Anonymous says:

    determination delivers what is in your heart but faith can move mountains.

  450. 450
    death wish says:

    Were you fucking her at the time?

  451. 451
    Anonymous says:

    …and who pays the price?
    …are ppl in the wrong jobs? this would appear to be the case…the system enables it….is the answer revolt?…..or skillfully avoiding these traps, should one be vulnerable. The chinese reward those handsomely who eat bittness stoically. so…many options.

  452. 452
    Gordon McMental Brown says:

    RT @ShippersUnbound: My Political Razzies 2012 – No 7: Gordon Brown cancels UN press conference when just 1 reporter turned up. Zero speeches in Commons in 2012


  453. 453
    Gordon McMental Brown says:

    RT @ShippersUnbound: My Political Razzies 2012 – No 7: Gordon Brown cancels UN press conference when just 1 reporter turned up. Zero speeches in Commons in 2012

  454. 454
    Anonymous says:


    Pay no heed to, ‘god’s gift to women’ taffy, he can’t get it up anymore.

  455. 455
    WANKER WATCH says:

    WTF is wrong with you ?

  456. 456

    I can only imagine that the get togethers of long passed retirement age widows living along la Croisette may not be part of your social experience…

  457. 457
    US Watch says:

    Working in miles for real distances is much more natural, as is using inches for manufacturing, and gallons for certain types of liquid measure.

    North America, the bit where roads matter anyway, is in miles, and fuel is in gallons. You only get metric items on cheap arsed Ikea stuff, and you can see the the difference that makes.

    Using the smaller measures is a way of making things seem bigger, and charging more for less.

  458. 458
    Archie says:

    The envy of which world? The NHS: so good it’s been copied in, er, no other country on Earth!

  459. 459
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Perhaps this is the difference between you and me– I see a direct one-to-one correspondence; one portly man in charge who cannot be stuck in the mire with every little detail, as compared with another similar man. There IS such a thing as attempting to carry analogies too far; somehow I tend to doubt we get very many postings from anthropomorphic steam engine locomotives.

    It is called “literary licence.” Yours, I must conclude, may be endorsed with a notation stating “Requires vision correction.”

    “Paging Dr Asperger, paging Dr Asperger, your patient is here…”

  460. 460
    Anonymous says:

    That really cheered me up. Brilliant !

  461. 461
    Archie says:

    You leave les alone! Even though he is a right bastard!

  462. 462

    The b-series of time tends to iron these apparent problems out.

  463. 463

    Au contraire, mon ami!

    I believe nothing I hear and only 50% of what I see.

    I was simply living up to the spirit of your moniker – pure mischief.

  464. 464
    Legal Eagle says:

    Not at all: You are within your rights to call him that if he is alive or dead.

    Of people who are expired, you can say whatever you like though without fear of libel.

    I would caution you to making statements as have just done in public though as it could be considered actus reus if a crime of that nature was committed.

    Next time, use ‘I’ instead of ‘we’, even though you have no intention of committing the act and all is good.

  465. 465
    Anonymous says:

    That’s what i call Dirty Dancing.

  466. 466
    Anonymous says:

    Wow !

  467. 467
    Anonymous says:

    .kilo….when unnecessary is hard work.

  468. 468
    Mrs Moppet says:



  469. 469
    Mrs Moppet says:

    Didn’t the Divine Right of Kings get thrown out a few hundred years ago. Why is it being resurrected?

  470. 470
    CCHQ Press Officer says:

    Dennis Skinner makes Britain a better place /

  471. 471
    Mrs Moppet says:

    When he comes down, please tell him the word is ‘faze’. Thanks

  472. 472
    Your Friendly Neighbourhood Interesting Factoid About Metrics Service says:

    The United States actually instituted the metric system in 1866 when it decided that, as a practical matter, for exports to countries not using English measure, and for imports from those countries, there had to be a standardisation. It chose to define English as so much of metric, rather than the other way, so metric is actually the standard in the US. What happened was that, instead of making it mandatory (because they were in the wake of the War of North and South and all sorts of required repackaging and retooling would have caused economic dislocations) it became permissible instead, at any rate for domestic interstate commerce, i.e., no State could ban metric products. The thought was that metric measures, such as in the pharmaceutical industry, would eventually become familiar to Americans; athletic events are held in metric (save for the mile), fizzy drinks are sold in litre bottles, as is booze; cigarettes are metric (85 or 100mm) so it’s not as if the Yanks are totally unacquainted. It’s just that inertia and indolence ensued when metric was not enforced across the board. Had Henry Ford been made to put in KPH speedometers and litre fuel tanks, the automotive landscape in the US would have been a lot different.

  473. 473
    Fortunes Favour The Bold says:

    A French adage, roughly translated, which is akin to the English one about fortunes and scandals:
    “Bad form to ask your family how they made their first million– you don’t really want to know; seriously– you REALLY don’t.”

  474. 474
    US Watch says:

    The SI unit is generally recorded alongside, and congress does recognize the official kilo / meter etc and they hold a standard measures in the bureau of standards + teach at school. There has been transition since 1975, officially since 1988 SI has been the official system of measure for trade / commerce.

    Point taken on Ford, but would still be selling gas by the US gallon.

    I consider drink containers in terms of fluid oz. A 32 oz is just under a liter.

    As a comparison with Europe, it is probably safer to conclude that the plurality of units based on suitability for application is generally superior to the rigid enforcement of SI applied there.

    Curiously TV and monitor screens are still sold globally with dimensions quoted in inches.

    To my eye, buildings and items designed purely in imperial measure tend to look and feel more balanced than those designed using purely metric: This is just an aesthetic thing.

  475. 475
    The BBC are EU funded Shills says:

    They’re new paymasters may also be requiring this.

    This first ‘B’ in this broadcaster is no longer British.

  476. 476
  477. 477

    Yeah. So piss off with your lotto!

  478. 478
    slaver, slaver, salivate,salivate says:

    West Antarctic Ice Sheet warming twice earlier estimate
    Matt McGrath By Matt McGrath Environment correspondent, BBC News

  479. 479
    Tory political broadcast for the Arse Party says:

    She no doubt would, if she was still alive.

  480. 480
    Tory political broadcast for the Arse Party says:

    join the queue Noah….

  481. 481
    Tory political broadcast for the Arse Party says:

    Need to send you some photos of myself tories, but please don’t get excited. So many tory ladies unsatisfied, of the english flavour, but so little time..

  482. 482
    Tory political broadcast for the Arse Party says:

    money for old rope pal….

  483. 483
    Tory political broadcast for the Arse Party says:

    generally known as “new money”, described as everyone since the early eighteenth century without blue blood but coin.

    Enough politics for you WANKER WATCH? Say hello to Queen Lizzy when next you bump into her, the one vis Corburg, where the ham comes from.

  484. 484
    Anonymous says:

    Plenty of aspirations of what to do with the likes of, her and you, after regime change. Tick tock. Turd.

  485. 485
    oddly helpful says:

    ..and, presumably, slavery is freedom – if Eric Blair is to be believed. Merry Christmas, children everywhere.. Merry Christmas.

Seen Elsewhere

UKIP on 23% With Survation | Mirror
UKIP Could Deal With Dave | Douglas Carswell
Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph
Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

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