December 20th, 2012

Two Faced Chuka’s Christmas Message

If you take a stroll  past Chuka Umunna’s constituency office in Streatham today, you are greeted by this message:

And where is their saviour when you need him?

His villa in Ibiza perhaps? 

No, in fact he’s hosting another one of his parties tonight for media types instead of being there for his constituents. The only problem is that it seems not many of them want to go and the city agency that Umunna has outsourced running his party to are starting to flap:

That’s what happens when you try to be all things to all people…


  1. 1
    Mrs Entity says:

    Maybe the cash he’s spending on this event (which appears to be a non event with few guests actually wanting to go or planning to turn up!)
    He could give it to the soup kitchen, food bank, hospice etc, in fact ANY local group who will be working hard, all over the Christmas period, to look after those a heck of a lot less fortunate than Mr Ummuna!
    Maybe a copy of A Christmas Carol needs to be sent to him so he may stop being a money grasping Scrooge and do the best for his constituents!
    Makes me so cross!

  2. 2
    EC1 PhD says:

    I’ve got a really nasty cold. Where’s the party?

  3. 3
    Chuka can't bear to be lonely says:

    Likes entertaining doesn’t he. Regularly has guests to dine at the House of Commons. Can’t he eat or drink on his own?

  4. 4
    Jeff Bin In? says:

    Is there free drink?

  5. 5
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m going

  6. 6
    Chukus Yermoney says:

  7. 7
  8. 8
    Derek says:

    This blog is laughably petty

  9. 9
    Mike Hunt says:

    And you don’t need to take empties and bricks either.

  10. 10
    Cya says:

    Mind your head on the way out.

  11. 11
    Raving Loon says:

    I don’t see Gordon Brown being punished for selling our gold or setting up the FSA.

  12. 12
    Labour are off their Ed says:

    Of course it is Mr Draper, or may I call you Dolly?

  13. 13
    Blowing Whistles says:

    His party seems to be able to attract as much attention as his political party – they’re both desperately becoming hugely insignificant. But haven’t all 3 major Political circuses become the laughing stock of the democratic world?

  14. 14
    A bouncer says:

    No refunds. Fuck off and don’t the door slap you on the arse on the way out.

  15. 15
    As they say in French says:

    Chuka farts higher than his arse.

  16. 16
    lojolondon says:

    Maybe Chuka is worried his party is destined to look like Gorgon Brown’s UN press conference – no friends, no influence! ha-ha

  17. 17
    Dolly Draper says:

    Is it me?

  18. 18
    Sally Bercow says:

    I’m holding a twitter party later peeps – I’ll be putting on a spread **innocent face** [@SallyBercow]

  19. 19
    Barbie purveyor of materials says:

    Is it me?

    Did that get past the modding?

  20. 20
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Being a moron – he was under the spell of Gods bankers and did what they instructed him to do.

  21. 21
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Urgent casework – wtf is he a glorified social worker or just a poser in a £3K suit?

  22. 22
    D.o.l.l.y D.r.a.p.e.r says:

    Is it me?

  23. 23
    Happy Christmas says:

  24. 24
    alan hansen says:

    More criminal defending of Labour’s last useless government.

  25. 25
    Roh hipnol says:

    Why no Kebab Time today, did he get ratted at the Guido party and trap off with some axe murderer?

  26. 26
    He doth protest too much says:

    He introduces himself and immediately lists all his illnesses and problems rather than say “Hello I’m Adam and I have plenty to offer.”

    Strewth though, he gets a car, a taxi, “holistic treatment” and even someone to do the ironing. Meanwhile he whips out a trick looking video camera and shiny laptop whilst complaining about cuts on his deep leather couch.

  27. 27
    Grimsby Fish Market says:

    If little girls are made of sugar and spice why do they smell of anchovies?

  28. 28
    lojolondon says:

    No-one is too thick or too sick to work. Work in a call centre. Or anywhere behind a desk. He will find that easier than “working” in the home!

    PS go on a diet, that will reduce the stress on your legs.

  29. 29
    Happy Christmas says:

  30. 30
    I am an Important Person says:

    Give to little people at Christmas! What an outrageous idea! As an MP I can claim extra expenses for being a Git!

  31. 31
    dtn says:

    Can you imagine Orwell and Chuka sharing a pint? No, neither can I.

  32. 32
    Hoon-ga, Hoon-ga, Hoon-ga, Chuka says:

    Polly Toynbee is a Humanist. She believes in mankind. (Allegedly.)
    Chuka Umunna is a Umunnist. He believes in Chuka Umunna.

  33. 33
    Anal Discharge says:

    Cos they taste of salty fish !!!!

  34. 34
    Happy Christmas says:

  35. 35
    Ed Miliband (Prime Minister designate) says:

    Call a taxi for David “Bottler” Cameron to take him away from the Bunker.

    FINALLY IMF confirms UK never had the biggest deficit and the last govt didn’t over spend

  36. 36
    Blowing Whistles says:


    New Year – knockdown sales begin … Local Councils in these hard pressed times can now sign up for Common Purpose leadership courses at an unbeatable value of half the price they were last year …

    Get 3 graduates for the price of 1 – offer only lasts till 31st January – only 40,000 places available… first come first served …

  37. 37
    Helen Back says:

    Love the way these supposed victims use their children as props. Now that’s just sick.

  38. 38
    nellnewman says:

    Quite Right – Diane too if of the wrong party.

    I was thinking of someone perhaps more like a British Indira Gandhi type – Mrs T in a sari with right wing views – someone like that would be OK

  39. 39
    Chelsea fag mafia says:

    Is Chuka a member of the committee?

    A house in Ibiza sounds a little dubious to me.

  40. 40
    nellnewman says:

    I can’t see shuckusyamoney drinking anything as common as beer – bollinger champagne or nothing I suspect is his tipple of choice.

  41. 41
    nellnewman says:

    Oh are they going to out that joke in the Xmas Crackers this year?

    What was it baldemort said ‘there is no money left’!

  42. 42
    He who no longer posts says:

  43. 43
    nellnewman says:

    So have all the MP’s cleared off for Christmas and New Year now – not to be seen or heard of anymore until Jan 2nd, 3rd or 4th?

    maybe that’s a good thing. I feel sure the country will function immensely better without their meddling.

  44. 44
    Gawd 'elp this country becoming fascist Dave Cee says:

    Chucka is over dopamined naturally – can tell these sorts straight off – non-cocaine helped. He is a big new problem for Labour, let me tell you that for nothing tories – can’t control his gob, and whatever he has got. He’s future problems Ed M. Trousers in a future situation I predict, with either sex. Like a Xmas remote control car, when the signal fails, and goes nuts.

  45. 45
    Past faced 83a57 says:

    Maybe if the fat bastard lost some weight he could be a little more mobile?

    His “Disabilities” dont seen to stop him Fu76ing do they
    OH and he is from Luton?

  46. 46
    Gordon Brown says:

    You would never see me doing something like that.

  47. 47
    He who no longer posts says:

    When is going to be produced in 3D?

    Nah! OK. Forget I asked that…

  48. 48
    Ed Balls says:

    I came up with a plan to help people with debt, it’s called “Don’t buy shit you can’t afford!”

  49. 49
    Sayeeda Warsi says:

    Coo ee

  50. 50
    hank the cat says:

    speaking to Nick Ferrari on LBC 97.3 radio, he said: “Clearly, there’s a serious question to answer by the member of the diplomatic protection squad, the officer concerned, who is alleged to have sent a fallacious email

    Is a fallacious email a blow job?

  51. 51
    Helen Back says:

    #36 Ed ….you should know that this is just another myth being perpetuated by a leftie posing as a conservative (see Cameron, Merkel etc). Stalin knew that revolutions start from within – so did Blair.

    Our media, establishment, forces, business etc have all been infiltrated by lefties. That’s why everything is collapsing around us.

    IMF = NWO

    NWO hates Tories

  52. 52
    Gawd 'elp this country becoming fascist Dave Cee says:

    Bugger it, a song for Chuka the naturally over dopamined fella, god given. Some white ladies for you, from my La Tene tribe, central europa,

    Sigid ist mein favorit, aber Marina ist sehr hinter schließen, schob meinen hintern.

  53. 53
    annoyed user says:

    Yeah, because some bod on HuffPo trumps what the IMF said a scant few months ago, especially since Patel is pushing a book on the subject

  54. 54
    The Rabid Right says:

    Hey righties. Killed any gays or disabled people today? You’re so filled with compassion, aren’t you, righties?

  55. 55
    hank the cat says:

    David Beckham ‘buys silk sleepwear for Victoria’

    What about Waterloo and Paddington?

  56. 56
    Helen Back says:

    #9 – Derek – you just don’t like anyone who doesn’t agree with your warped ideology.

    Seek help.

  57. 57
    Popeye says:

    “Chuka Umunna”

    The first black PM of the Socialist region of England in the Greater State of the European Socialist Republic. We have our own brand of democracy.
    I know this because I have insider knowledge. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

  58. 58
    Mark Oaten says:

    Want to see my yuletide log in 3D?

  59. 59
    I d on't nee d no doctor says:

    It’s the same when traffic lights are off, the traffic always flows better.

  60. 60
  61. 61
    Popeye says:

    Only two, bad day, must be the weather.

  62. 62
    Ibiza tourist board says:

    What are you on about??

  63. 63
    VoteUkip says:

    What about Labour’s criminal neglect of the banking system?

  64. 64
    b345t Crosby says:

    The mass killings are outsourced to Socialists you idiot
    Its the one thing that you are good at

  65. 65
    Gawd 'elp this country becoming fascist Dave Cee says:

    Cucker could talk crap until the cows come home. He’s a fanny. And I am Labpur. They need to semd him to me, and I will give him an attitude adjustment,

    Send him by, Ed Emm, and I will sort out Private Snowball for you…

  66. 66
    Sensible person says:

    I suppose most of these homeless veterans fought in Iraq – labour’s illegal war.

    Shocking story though. Perhaps we should stop paying immigrants benefits until we can look after our own. It seems unfair and immoral.

    Why do we have so many immigrants in this country when we can’t even look after the indigenous population? It just does not make sense.

  67. 67
    Gawd 'elp this country becoming fascist Dave Cee says:

    what in the gawd damns breath is going on here – I typed it out right, and you faggots and sailors in your software prepare to fuck with me. Why do I post so much videos to play with your little brains, ey? Because you started the viscious circle of fucking about – you fuck with my posts, the more crap vids I will post on your godarn mary-jane rottencrotch site of yours here.

    Now, where was I? oh yes – you fucking turds.

  68. 68
    Augusto Pinochet says:

    Toot toot!

  69. 69
    All Lefty's must die says:

  70. 70
    Earl of Croydon says:

    Not being rude but with that list of disabilities why on earth would you want to have kids?
    Id have thought a basic human instinct is to be able to look after your own kids, yet he seems keen for the state to do all the hard bits for him.

  71. 71
    b345t of Mombassa Chukup style says:

    The opening of parliament 2015

  72. 72
    Dywane Pipe says:


  73. 73
    Gawd 'elp this country becoming fascist Dave Cee says:

    software turds, hunts, gobshites, tools – Guido site modders and it’s software, Guido mary jane rottencrotch.

  74. 74
    Anonymous says:

    let,s see how more we learn tommorow,

    Hold on tight — tomorrow has the potential to be one of the most significant days of the year! No, not because of the over-hyped end-of-the-world Mayan prophecy, but because of something much more reliable … a Winter Solstice unlike many in the past.

    As always, the Sun’s move into Capricorn marks the start of Winter Solstice. But this time it’s happening amid a perfect storm of world-shaping Astrological aspects. This Capricorn energy, along with the Sun’s long night off, will bring seriousness to larger issues we face in our society and life. Translation? This is the moment in time where we will feel the shift in consciousness. Will you be ready?

  75. 75
    b345t of Mombassa Chukup style says:

    Thye know who Mammy is ,but its just who was Daddy thats the problem!

  76. 76
    Gawd 'elp this country becoming fascist Dave Cee says:


  77. 77
    Walter Mitty says:

    You’re projecting you mass murdering bunch of retards.

  78. 78
    All Lefty's must die says:

    True, blame the lefty’s for it

  79. 79
    Chuka Urmunneyaround says:

    He’s a fat fucker to boot.

  80. 80
    The Libor party says:

    We wanted to rub the Right’s noses in it. That’s why.

  81. 81
    Chuka Urmunneyaround says:

  82. 82
    Joe Stalin says:

    Bang ! Bang !

  83. 83
    VoteUkip says:

    Patel and co were only too happy to include the banking contributions to the state of our economy before the crisis but seem to think anything that happened as a result of the crash was nothing to do with Labour’s gross mismanagement and neglect. It was the same when Brown was boasting so much about his professionalism and prudence during the housing boom and declaring no responsibility for the inevitable bust that followed. In addition to the regular massive deficits we also had one of the highest personal borrowing levels in the world. Again Patel totally ignores this.

  84. 84
    b345t of Mombassa Chukup style says:

    He killed commies
    Thats called pest control on my planet

  85. 85
    VoteUkip says:

    I had indigestion from eating too many babies.

  86. 86
    He who no longer posts says:

    That is in extremely poor taste.

  87. 87
    I d on't nee d no doctor says:

    Ummuna lives in La La Land.

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    obama…hardly a peace lover … but then neither was emergency loving indirag.
    when elections cost a billion plus per person something is very badly wrong. the funders of this vast election machine do not do it for free. big money is in wars. how do obama,s backer,s their money back? chukka seems to be a mandelson protege. who is behind obama?

  89. 89
    The British Public says:

    Last Year’s fad, as happens about every 30 years.

  90. 90
  91. 91
    Jimmy says:

    Let’s face it, this is a 1D site if there ever was one.

  92. 92
    Shaniqua on benefits says:

    But my kids need iphones, hunter wellies and hollister clothes or else they look poor.

  93. 93
    He who no longer posts says:

    Falls Sigrid ist die dunkelhaarige Mädchen, dann denke ich, ich könnte die Ausgrabungen in La Tène beitreten

  94. 94
    0D says:

    On the basis of those who post at your timestamp, your point is astonishingly well made.

  95. 95
    dtn says:

    Dom Perignon surely.

  96. 96
    Anonymous says:

    1.4 trillion
    that in dollars, 1,400 billion, is said to be the cost of wars to the US since 2001. if chukkawukka ever became pm, he will NOT be cheap.

  97. 97
    nellnewman says:

    That brings back so many Christmas happy memories of my childhood. Thanks!

  98. 98
    nellnewman says:

    Errr no sorry you won’t do . Not right wing enough. not tough enough. not smart enough.

    The unique Mrs T is a hard act to follow as I am sure you will appreciate, you simply don’t meet the standard.

  99. 99
    Its even bleaker in sunderland this xmas with only one food bank says:

    Ummana will never be the PM not because hes black he just THICK

  100. 100
    All Lefty's must die says:

    I thought he live in deepest darkest Islington.

  101. 101
    Tom Catesby says:

    James Quinn not going…well,that’s one less.

  102. 102
    Think On! says:

    ‘With his list of disabilities’….etc….. KERCHING!!!!

  103. 103
    Just Chuka'd my tea down the pan says:

    Fatbutt, ‘Tweeting her twaddle’.. YAAAAAACK!

  104. 104
    Just Chuka'd my tea down the pan says:

    My Christmas message for Chuka…***k Off!

  105. 105
    Can I help you cuntstable? says:

    Ja, aber Sigrid ein bisschen roman italienischen hier in Österreich hat – Marina die blonde ist man La Tene, sondern verteilt die Samen, was kommt.

  106. 106
    Can I help you cuntstable? says:

    DON’T SWARE AT ME! Fucking Islington!!! – only queens and goons come from Islington, and it doesn’t look like you support the Arsenal, so that somehow narrows it down.

  107. 107
    Alex says:

    Adam Afriye?

    Lousy employer, as the high turnover of staff from his shithole of an IT support company is testament to, but not a bad politician,

  108. 108
    Fahrenheit says:

    Hmm Luton, that quaint town, that hard working multicultural utopia.

  109. 109
    Annie Seed-Balls says:

    You should visit my supermarket – it is on a perpetual loop and played for too loudly. Dr*ves one up the wall after the third time round.

  110. 110
    Ted Turner says:

    “Ed Milliband” says:
    December 15, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    I get confused is it the good republicans who blow up kids in Ireland or the bad one’s who shoot kids in America?”

    The mass shootings are done by Democrats.

    (What part do you not understand?)

  111. 111
    Ted Turner says:

    Need anither brit like Piers Morgan

  112. 112
    filipinomonkey says:

    So Chuka, why a media event I wonder? Could it be you have ambitions of high office and hope to win a few friends? Good to see you thinking about yourself rather than the people you represent. Anyone would think you were a public servant, pah! Ridiculous.

    All you need to is send out the team when its time for folks to vote, stop those nasty horrible baby eating Tories.

    Still, the public love the media these days, the chummy way they get on with the police, the favours done for some juicy info, best get them on your side huh…

  113. 113
    Anonymous says:

    So Chuka, why a media event I wonder? Could it be you have ambitions of high office and hope to win a few friends? Good to see you thinking about yourself rather than the people you represent. Anyone would think you were a public servant, pah! Ridiculous.

  114. 114
    Gunga Din says:

    I though you’d gone

  115. 115
    Gunga Din says:

    Yes but that wouldn’t matter i!f he had a wooden leg

  116. 116
    Friend of Dorothy says:

    Well, he certainly does give the impression that he is a reciever of swolen goods

  117. 117
    Paola says:

    Hey I love the Co-op I can get things there I can’t find anrwehye else and your staff is so knowledgeable and friendly I have been able to fix a lot of physical problems before they became chronic we all have to learn to maintain our health ourselves and the co-op really helps us do that.However can you re-stripe your parking lot? If you angled the spaces instead of having cars back into each other, it would help so much getting in and out. You could have entry on each side in the direction of the parking space.Please help me take care of my car as well as my body when I shop at the co-op. Happy Holidays

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