December 18th, 2012

PICTURE: Liz’s Placemats


  1. 1
    David Dickinson says:

    They are shit. Is that really all we are willing to gift the Queen?

    Bet they turn up on eBay.

  2. 2
    Kebab Time says:

    “I went to Cabinet and all i got were 60 shitty placemats”

  3. 3
    Tom Tomos says:

    My Nan had a set of those.

  4. 4
    Dennis McShane's Shed says:

    You can tell the cabinet had to pay for these themselves (subject to future expenses claims, obviously). Got them from Poundland did they?

  5. 5
    One says:

    One does so enjoy a well-placed palace mat – knowotoymeen? – like?

  6. 6
    And continues . . . says:

    I fart in your general direction!

  7. 7
    Moussa Koussa Mark 3 says:

    It just gets worse and worse…7 Down.

    * Downward inflation ..ended
    * Pleb back in the news
    * UKIP foaming at the mouth..14% = 0 seats.
    * Using the queen to help PR ( chuffin heck things must be bad )
    * Strikes
    * Boris bounce over
    * Warsi has been let out

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Is Cameron using Queen for PR? Its even low than Blair.

  9. 9
    Moussa Koussa Mark 3 says:


  10. 10
    I love Baroness Warsi for defending freedom of religion! says:

    But they’re quite nice placemats.

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    Of course, anything really expensive would have had you complaining about MPs on the take again.

  12. 12
    Patten is a Bad un says:

    I watched the Queen visit Dave’s place of work earlier on Sky news and it was a nice factual account.

    I then listened to the BBC’s report on the midday news and most of their report was taken up with how undemocratic this was and many around the country were very upset about it.

    FFS the queen is the head of our state BBC, get over it. Just to check I went outside and did not see one upset person.

  13. 13
    Penfold says:

    How naff.

  14. 14
    Dead Wrong says:

    A Swedish woman accused of using human bones as sex toys has been convicted of “disturbing the peace of the dead”. The unnamed 37-year-old avoided a charge of necrophilia however, telling the local Göteborgs-Posten (GP) newspaper she is an “odd bird” but “not sexually interested in necrophilia”.

  15. 15
    Anonymous says:

    It was very sad to see our Queen sitting between two queens. Queen should not be used for PR by any politicians.

  16. 16
    Anonymous says:

    Queen is Head of State. But she hasn’t got any involvement in politics that is why we are democratic.

    Sad thing is, Cameron using our Queen for PR.

  17. 17
    Engineer says:

    You’re really struggling, aren’t you?

  18. 18
    Keep or pres says:

    But Hacked Off using Millie Dowler and other innocents to strnegthen their campaign for press censorship is the lowest of the low.

  19. 19
    Barry Obama says:

    Makes the DVD box set I gave to to Gordon Brown look a class gift.

  20. 20
    legion says:

    Nobody could get lower than the belly of a snake surely?

  21. 21
    Anonymous says:

    They didn’t cost a penny to those sponging off the state.

  22. 22
    I don't want to share a fart with the Labour voting dogshite in Edinburgh says:


  23. 23
    SaltPetre says:

    To the Queen, every single person in the country is a pleb.

  24. 24
    A Firm Pair Of Breasts says:

    It’s typical of the Conservatives telling everyone to know their placemats.

  25. 25
    alexei says:

    What a relief only 60 for a State banquet from now on.

  26. 26
    Vaz of the people says:

    not a patch on Keith Vaz using the suicide of a nurse for self publicity though.

  27. 27
    Mr BumBum says:

    If they were paid for by the Cabinet, I’m not sure that you’re strictly correct.

  28. 28
    Loopy Lou says:

    How much did those set Dave back ?

  29. 29
    Anonymous says:

    Millie Dowler phone was hacked. Queen is above politics she doesn’t even vote in elections.

    Cameron and the lot should have gone and met the Queen to give the gift. She should not be used for PR.

  30. 30
    captain Pedalo says:

    Those mats are really going to get the country back in work.

  31. 31
    Necro Watch says:

    She is f*cked in the head and needs careful supervision moving forward, if not permanent incarceration in a secure facility. The deeper details of this case are seriously disturbing.

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    What is it to do with Keith Vaz? Did he use Queen for PR?

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    Someone calling himself son of belly of a snake would do it.

  34. 34
    on time and to budget says:

    As I am unemployed I am available to make up the numbers should I be required if for example there is a trade delegation from Burkhino Faso.

  35. 35
    Honest Opinion says:

    The place mats look quite nice, and would make a nice addition to the home.

    (No sarcasm, irony, or satire intended – they look good.)

  36. 36
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’ll swap them for a complete DVD box set of classic American movies.

  37. 37
    Frozen out says:

  38. 38
    Get your priorities right says:

    No Gay marriage will do that.

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    who.ever can generate sympathy us the winner.

  40. 40
    simon says:

    Holy shit. I thought the placemats were a wind up! ‘Know your place’ Liz-Mats’ as a prezzie must rank up among Ernie Wise’s present to Eric Morecambe of a Des O Connor LP. We know HMQ likes the wrestling- a dvd of Wrestlemania would have probably gone down better.

  41. 41
    Vaz Watch says:

    Not yet he hasn’t.

  42. 42
    gramma says:

    Maybe her Maj appreciates pretty pictures as an under-setter.
    Not all of us have the Sun spread out as a table cloth, Daily star as placemat and use our sleeve as a napkin 8illy

  43. 43
  44. 44
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Fortunately they’re not personalised, so I guess she can re-wrap them and give them to someone else!

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    bring up monarchy.
    bring back feudalism.
    few families running the world.

    it never changed.

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:


  47. 47
    He who no longer posts says:

    Good God!

    Doesn’t the woman know what considerable effort and dedication goes into a boner?

    This is in very bad taste.

  48. 48
  49. 49
    The Queen says:

    I shall pass it on as a Christening present to William and his wife when the time comes. That’ll save a couple of quid on the civil list which is what all you thickie republicans are always on about.

  50. 50
    off track says:

    Perhaps the best joke was Barry chose VHS knowing Gordon still has a Betamax.

  51. 51
    Anonymous says:

    do this. do that. who are you?

  52. 52
    Grammar School Boy says:

    Agree completely; utter tat. One can only imagine The Duke of Edinburgh’s reaction.

    Perhaps they’ll end up as a present for Fergie?

  53. 53
    Placemat Watch says:

    Detail on the place mats:

    Hand finished by Lady Clare company in Gloucestershire, show images of Buckingham palace chosen from the Royal Library at Windsor.

    GBP 200 each rumoured to have been put in the kitty by each of the ministers.

  54. 54
    Down sizing says:

    Six place mats is not going to make a very big banquet.

  55. 55
    I d on't nee d no doctor says:

    Daily Politics – Union boss Frances O’Grady – same old, same old, same wolf’s clothing with a quieter voice. Must have had the same coach as Tom Watson.
    Notice how Coburn let O’Grady go on without interruption?

  56. 56
    Vince McMahon says:

    I have visions of Her Maj cutting about the Palace with a Stone Cold 3:16 T shirt !!!

  57. 57
    simon says:

    And that’s the bottom line cause Stone Cold said so!!!!

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    the birth of a new generation is the start of a new generation. when the new child is born the queen will take time off from being a monarch.

    it is only fair. tectonic plate movement.
    king charles. take care….for in his hands lies the welfare of the monarch.

  59. 59
    Man Hating Feminazi says:

    sisters together

  60. 60
    Anonymous says:

    HMQ likes the wrestling….?
    so vile was a wrestler.

  61. 61
    Fit for a Queen says:

    Crikey I just gave something similar to the age concern charity shop. Do you think I should ask for them back?

  62. 62
    Pithy gifts for every occassion says:

    She’s just ordered another t shirt which says “I went to cabinet and all I got were these lousy place mats”

  63. 63
    The Donald gets pranked says:

  64. 64
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    I invented spin doctors and Alyingstare Campbell.

    Look how rich it made me :)

  65. 65
    Jackass Straw says:

    Clearly a nanny-State socialist.

  66. 66
    I d on't nee d no doctor says:

    Sixty (60) placements, not six (6).

  67. 67
    Wotta Tossa Skid Mark 3 says:

    ‘Strikes’. It’s traditional for Bob Crow to screw up people’s Christmas travel arrangements. Up the workus !

  68. 68
    More money than sense says:

    Bloody hell. 32 ministers attend cabinet, that’s £6,400 or £106.66p a placemat.

  69. 69
    Calamity Clegg says:

    I’m glad Charles Kennedy never did Stone Cold.

  70. 70
    genghiz the kahn says:

    up the work shy.

  71. 71
    SLOTGOB says:

    Me ! Me ! Me !

  72. 72
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    You are Alan Johnson and I claim my £ 5.

  73. 73
    Anonymous says:

    egypt, the mouthpiece of the world, the land of the pyramids…
    the pharoah king is struggling to be beyond the law.
    here it may well be that the queen now wants to spend time…her husband is not getting younger. life is so fragile…

    when king charles comes…..will he be beyond politics too. he is an activist.

    …..beyond all this the trillion dollar world. the liebour scandal.
    when the the fines are in the billion dollar category..imagine the size of the scam. we all suffer from poverty.
    imagination. pyramid makers knew it.

  74. 74
    Rodger The Lodger says:

    A lucky secret santa choice. Who by?

  75. 75
    Placemat Watch says:

    They are hand finished, and custom made by a very good company here in the UK.

    May be a bit boring, but for Her Majesty, the designs will mean a lot and they are more than suitable for a state function.

    This is a good news story: Super work for flagging Guido.

  76. 76
    Phil for PM says:

    This was certainly true in the case of Blair and ‘the people’s princes” blubber-fest and his strenuous, though repellant, efforts to turn the passing of the former Empress of India into another PR extravaganza for his party.

    I hardly see inviting HM to the cabinet as an observer in the same light as the odious, cynical, manipulation of one of our last revered national institutions to produce some good vibes in the grid

  77. 77
    Phil for PM says:

    He is but a pale shadow of Blair in his ability to flourish saprophytically from tragedy. Boo Hoo the queen of Hearts was the People’s Princess……

  78. 78
    Phil for PM says:

    I recommend close checking of the next set of expenses claims. Clearly a whipround for place-mats for the Queen is a legitimate living expense.

  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    So how much did the placemats cost us?

  80. 80

    …she certainly had the morals of a chav.

  81. 81

    If you think feudalism was a bed of roses for the lucky few, read the Oxford History of England and think again.

  82. 82

    You mean that Billy has sleeves?

  83. 83
    wot says:

    If we were still a truly great country, those placemats would be hand painted. What next, DVDs?

  84. 84

    It’s austerity. We’re all in it together, y’know.

  85. 85
    Jimmy says:

    You’d think posh people would be able to get this right, if nothing else.

  86. 86
    keredybretsa says:

    Did they have a whip-round to buy them?

  87. 87
    YorkshireLad says:

    God, how dreadful

  88. 88
    A gentleman from Adelaide says:

    Bet like all the others down here they were made in China.

  89. 89
    A gentleman from Adelaide says:

    Was she invited? Or did she invite herself? After all, it is her government so she should be able to pop in from time to time to see what they are up to.

  90. 90
    A gentleman from Adelaide says:

    The man on the telly tells us that a very broad hint was received from Buck House on what HM would like. I mean, what else can you get someone who already has everything?

  91. 91
    A gentleman from Adelaide says:

    But will she ever get to see it? It is a bit chilly down that way and you know what happens to octogenarians who stand about for hours in the cold.

  92. 92
    A gentleman from Adelaide says:

    Made in NZ? Don’t believe it. All that sort of tat may be sold in NZ, but last time I was there everything but everything actually made in China. The labels usually say something like ‘designed in NZ [or Australia]’ but manufacture is 100% Chinese.

  93. 93
    A gentleman from Adelaide says:


  94. 94
    An expat ex higher rate taxpayer says:

    With all the financial disasters flying around to show this Government’s total incompetence it must be a welcome relief to invite the Queen around and have a photoshoot of some table mats!

  95. 95
    Anonymous says:

    …and they were suggested as a gift by…Buckingham Palace

  96. 96
    THE QUEEN says:

    Philllllllip ! One will be car booting again this weekend , we have to get rid of ones ghastly trinkets

  97. 97
    Jay says:

    Whatever they cost – they spent too much on the likes of the old sour krout – hasn’t she sponged enough for free already?

  98. 98
    Monica says:

    What Florence replied I am amazed that some people able to make $5375 in 1 month on the internet.Did you look at this web page

Seen Elsewhere

UKIP on 23% With Survation | Mirror
UKIP Could Deal With Dave | Douglas Carswell
Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph
Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers