December 17th, 2012

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View


151 Comments

  1. 1
    Anonymous says:

    Who is it, and why is he standing at the back of the hall?

    • 33
      Diane Abbott says:

      It is an utter disgrace that a person who votes Tory won at the BBC last night.

      • 44
        Dennis McShane's Shed says:

        Wrong as ever, Ms Abbott.

      • 45
        ANOTHER TROUGHING FAT PIG GETS AWAY WITH IT says:

        Bradley Wiggins could not have won anything on his own , without the aid of pacemakers and blockers etc
        At least the other nominees won their events on their own merit
        Sham !

        • 85
          Anne Arquist says:

          Time trials?

        • 94
          Hugh Janus says:

          Wiggins was described by R4 this morning (News Briefing) as a “hero”. Utter cobblers. True heroes were to be found, for instance, amongst the Bomber Command aircrews who had only a one in two chance of surviving 30 missions over enemy territory. A hero is someone who puts their life on the line for others, not some over-blown creep who can pedal a bloody bike quicker than anyone else.

          • Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

            Some sports persons are heroes. Novak Djokovic for example. His successes have certainly boosted morale in Serbia, a country that not all that long ago was considered a pariah nation.

      • 49
        He who no longer posts says:

        Whatever else you could level against Rich and Mark, it could never include subtlety.

    • 123
      ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

      Nigel Kennedy.

  2. 2
    Moby Dick says:

    Taxing the pensioners pensions to help 1st time buyers then there mansions–there 8% poll ratings will only be the prisoners they want to give the vote to

  3. 3
    Ed Miliband (Prime Minister designate) says:

    Taxi for David Cameron !

    He’s had enough of the Bunker.

    • 48
      ANOTHER TROUGHING FAT PIG GETS AWAY WITH IT says:

      I’ll pay for it !

      • 97
        Hugh Janus says:

        Together with a handsome tip too! The sooner the smug and incompetent posh boy is sent on his way, the better. And he can take his exceedingly nasty party with him. Would yesterday be too soon?

  4. 4
    Henry Brubaker says:

    its funny because its rubbish. Its true though…..

  5. 5
    New world order freaks says:

    Is that Nick Cameron or David Clegg? The policies are the same, they are social democrat left of centre fanatics after all. Tweedledum dumb and Tweedledee dumber interchangeable and identical in all but presentation in achieving the same ends.

    • 8
      Who Want's Some! says:

      Ditto for all three main parties, Banker Bum Bait and public cash troughers. No new ideas, no real commitment to popular democracy, no intention of changing the status quo. If what I’ve seen in the business sectors i work in the last quarter of the year (IT, printing industry and construction industry) then we’re in for a shit storm when the figures come out. You can kiss that AAA rating goodby for a start. HP for example are shitting themselves in the UK, every sector they are operating in is tanking and they don’t have a clue what to do about other than dump staff and start selling bits of the business. Same with a load of others, unemployment may be down but its low value jobs that can vanish in week.

    • 10
      THE MONSTROUS CROW says:

      I’VE GOT THEM RATTLED NOW.

    • 62
      Nige says:

      We need a change of government, not a change of management.

      • 72
        National Socialist says:

        We need a change of politcal system

      • 120
        Hank the Cat says:

        We need a change of government, not a change of management.

        What our Nigel says is stating the bleeding obvious, wonder it has not been said before. Should be a campaign slogan

  6. 6
    Socialism = Starvation says:

    ‘and I’ll retain my seat after the next Election…’.

  7. 7
    The Monster Raving Tory Party says:

    We’ll keep the House of Ermine Vermin

    We’ll buy Trident with Chinese loans

    We will keep one foot in Europe and one outside

    We love Daddy-in Law’s windmills

    We don’t understand the Alternative Vote

    We hate the Euro but will lose our AAA

    We are an omnishambolic clusterfuck

    We are the alternative party with Buffoon Boris as alternative leader

    PS And, oh, do we love gay “marriage”…

    • 9
      New world order freaks says:

      The monster raving liblabcon party, of one mind and one soul and holding on to the increasingly tiny differences to prove to the electorate they are different. Would Balls be any different from that sneering tw*t Gideon? If you think he would you are in for a shock. If your nation no longer controls its own economic policy then changing the puppet at the top makes no difference at all.

    • 22
      Dave and Gideon, the innocent little cnuts says:

      We just love the Quey Tree in the pantomime. Dame Merv keeps picking the fruit all year round, and the debt seeds inside are ever so fertile just like Jack in the Beanstalk.

      • 31
        Gordon Brown says:

        wwwwwaaaaaaaaaaa wwwwwaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaaaa wwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa wwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa waaaaa wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    • 78
      Who Want's Some! says:

      Sad but true. Our ‘leaders’ are selling us down the road and taking the piss as they do.

  8. 11
    Kebab Sports 2 says:

    “Man without personality wins Sports Personality of the Year”

  9. 12

    Good concept, shit execution. A Merry Christmas and some gainful employment in the New Year to R&M

  10. 14
    Andrew Mitchell says:

    Arrest the pleb f****g copper

    • 19
      Andrew Mitchell says:

      Got the fucking bastard. I hope he gets fucking fucked and has to take his bike the long way round. Fucking pleb.

      • 40
        Blind Pugh says:

        Perhaps the two of you might share a cell together one day.

      • 100
        British electorate says:

        So you want to shoot the essenger, Mitchell. If PC 49 hadn’t blurted, you’d have got away with it. We’re not having that.

    • 25
      Cressida of the Yard says:

      Yet another candidate for the Bent Copper of the Year award. So many now, we will have to fix the vote as usual.

      • 131
        Stalin's Ghost says:

        Labour placemen have been in the police for years.
        The Labour layabouts learnt a lot from myself – pity the military were not so forthcoming, but we got lots of government department moles, local councils, NGO’s, and “charities” in place.

  11. 16
    Gordon Brown says:

    Did the Arctic monkeys win last night?

    • 26
      Alex Salmonds grovelling letter offering help to Sir Fred Goodwin during RBS's takeover of ABN Amro says:

      No, but that Scotch tennis player, who supports any team who plays England, came third!

  12. 17
    "Oh Danny Boy" called Broadsword says:

    Can I suggest getting hold of some 12 year old graffiti sprayers and asking them to come up with a cartoon. It couldn’t be much worse.

  13. 18
    restore the monasteries says:

    There is absolutely no earthly reason for the libdems to exist.
    They have very little in common with the majority of the populace,
    and,because of their wish to seem influential and camerons appeasment,
    they have held the country back.To quote Cromwell, “In the name of God,go.!!!!
    Obviously they have some deluded followers,but,unless they change,they are
    history.
    (Just my opinion)

    • 20
      Anonymous says:

      Couldn’t agree more. I’d say there’s more chance in the next 50 years of a DNA match being made from a fart than of these twisted bastards getting anywhere near government again.

      • 24
        Herero says:

        Too late.
        Everyone knows the Lib Dems are the enablers of all the evil of this Coalition. They had the chance to stop what happened over the NHS, Welfare Reform, legal aid and tuition fees. They flunked i

      • 32
        Anonymous says:

        If the LDs has a glimmering of human decency left they would scupper the welfare cuts in the bill that George Osborne is tabling specifically so he can accuse Labour of being the scrounger’s party?

        But they will troop into the government lobby as they’ve done for every Tory policy that savages the poor and will continue to oppose only the constitutional and civil liberties and EU measures that no-one outside of the London media bubble cares a fuck about.

        • 41
          Sir William W says:

          A 1% increase is not a cut. Those who work cannot be sure of any increase.

          • Anonymous says:

            When both food and energy have risen about 10% in the last year, and these make up 100% of most claimants expenditure. This means their inflation is 10% not 5%, so a small rise is a cut, and what with the ‘council tax adjustments’ coming soon. Their’s is not a happy lot. So say what you mean – you would be happy to see them starve or die of hypothermia. Not all of them choose a life of indolence.

            Nobody even said that their NI contributions would be stolen for other ‘more deserving causes’.

      • 117
        Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

        They’re preferable to the Nasty Party.

    • 29
      Buck House Phil says:

      The Libdums don’t exist. They are just an horrible fucking nightmare.

    • 61
      ANOTHER TROUGHING FAT PIG GETS AWAY WITH IT says:

      There is a really good reason they exist They get the same money as other MP’s in the full knowledge that they will never have to assume any responsibility as hell will freeze over before we ever elect them to govern
      You only had to look at Vince Cables face at the election , he looked physically ill at the prospect that after years of telling everybody how it should be done from the sidelines he would now actually have to do some work
      free loading sponging fucker all

    • 99
      Raving Loon says:

      The Lib Dem party doesn’t exist, it’s just a conspiracy to seize power.

    • 124
      Hank the Cat says:

      There is absolutely no earthly reason for the libdems to exist. Just one little sentance says it all

  14. 21
    Rob Wilson MP says:

    Dear Mrs Wilson

    As I said yesterday afternoon Bradley Wiggins won Sports Personality of the Year 2012. I don’t know how you thought that young Irish golfer had any chance of winning.

    I am putting this letter in the public domain.

    Yours faithfully

    Rob (your husband)

  15. 23
    Doris Goldblatt says:

    A wicket! Trott departs for 143 off 310. A series deciding innings 302-4

  16. 27
    Pregnant Paws says:

    Why does Barry Obama pause so long between his sentences?

    • 30
      Dave is a Liar just like me, Tone says:

      He does “caring” so much better than Dave, who remembers the dead soldier’s name for three whole milliseconds during PMQs

    • 107
      Psychologist says:

      Oratory trick.

      Adds gravitas, but pauses are boring and intriguing. They disable the conscious critical mind (boring), and attract attention of the subconscious (intrigue). The boring part can also be regarded as having a hypnotic quality. Once relaxed it is easy for the real message to be implanted directly.

      Looking at the speech, the message appears to be one of a collectivist and community message, suggesting that the people need him for their security, and further suggesting that the needs of children should be placed above all others. One would suggest a sly way to encourage the people to demand forfeiture of some of their constitutional rights and view the government as their only saviour. A bad message.

      He was also using NLP techniques again – particularly anchoring. (Note the hands, and odd variation in emphasis of certain words in the actual address)

      They have gone all out on this one. Before he arrived in Newtown yesterday, there was a bomb hoax phoned in which prompted swat teams etc. to descend on the church.

      One suspects part of this is distraction from the fact that nearly all of the major domestic gun massacres over the past 30 years have occurred whilst the democrats have been in power. This is significant and not a fact widely projected.

      • 134
        Obamarama says:

        I also have to pause to collect my thoughts on where I am, what day of the week it is, and what series of heartfelt mantras I have to give this time around.

  17. 28
    Yvonne from The Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    Last week this Government pissed off over £2m of my money on a Libyan .

    Yesterday I learned that HMRC have pissed off another £24m of my money by having failed to recover VAT and PAYE from Comet before it closed down.

    Today I learn that the Government not content with this is pissing off another £26 m of my money by giving it to the ex employees of Comet as some sort of redundancy fund.

    This morning I feel really pissed off .

    • 37
      Sir Merv ( soon to be Lord Threadneedle) says:

      It’s pretend Q.E. money, so it doesn’t matter. would you like me to forge some more?

      • 47
        Long John Silver's parrot says:

        There are about 6,000 employees with Comet .

        This means that on average the Government is giving them each £4,000 when they have all after all contributed to a company which has failed spectacularly.

        Contrast this with how your Government treats successful companies and their employees . They are abused and humiliated in public and told that they are “immoral”.

    • 46
      The International Moneytree Fund says:

      Don’t forget the £250m to the Northern Rock customers who weren’t correctly advised over their loan statements!

      Not bad for just one weeks announcements.

      Don’t fret too much though…once the hyperinflation kicks-in and de-bases the currency, it will all be just be funny money in the end.

      • 54
        Anonymous says:

        I remember in Manchester a few years back when that No win no fee ambulance chasing company went bust and the employees received dismissal notices on their mobile phones that shortly after HMRC started writing to people telling them that their NI contributions had not been paid and they should send money.

        I do not know what happened after the letters were sent but today it would be a bit of interesting investigative journalism for someone to undertake .

    • 53
      Anonymous says:

      The Barclay brothers want £1bn VAT back – something to do with when they bought Littlewoods.

      Haven’t they got enough money as it is?

    • 58
      Anonymous says:

      I bet the accountants get more than £26m.

    • 67
      ANOTHER TROUGHING FAT PIG GETS AWAY WITH IT says:

      Not to mention the tens of millions our institutions have to spend on interpreters every year ! so the police can tell johnny foreigner why he has been arrested or why he should buy a sticking plaster instead of calling an ambulance

    • 77
      I d on't nee d no doctor says:

      Ask Ed Miliband why 2 million quid was given to the Libyan bloke.

    • 135
      Tony Bliar & Mad Gordi Brown says:

      Check who was “in power” at the time of these happenings.

  18. 39
    Sir William W says:

    It’s a shame that some good LibDem MPs will be replaced by LabCon dross merely because they bear a label of thevwrong colour.

  19. 42
    Steve Miliband says:

    UKIP= Anti Coalition party

  20. 43
    Dave Fitznick and Nick Fitzdave says:

    Coo ee

    Happy Winterval lovers

    Mwhah

  21. 60
    Lilac Lionel says:

    Christmas? Bumhug!

  22. 71
    ANOTHER TROUGHING FAT PIG GETS AWAY WITH IT says:

    I see Mitchell has struck back , a police office from the Royal Protection squad has been arrested and bailed for leaking information about what Mitchell said

    If i lose my job , I’ll make dam sure you lose yours !

    Wanker !

    • 74
      I d on't nee d no doctor says:

      So Mitchell now controls the police, just how do you work that one out?

      • 82
        some muthas do 'ave 'em says:

        It’s easy if you’re a swivel eyed, foaming at the mouth leftie nutter.

      • 87
        The all seeing eye at the top of the pyramid says:

        Ever heard of Freemasonry?

        Word on the street is that Mitchell is a 4th Dan, brown noser.

  23. 75
    I d on't nee d no doctor says:

    Wiggo, the only Mod that should appear on this site!

  24. 83
    Nigel Farage says:

    Third !

  25. 84
    Dead right says:

    Hello righties. Tell me, is there any tragedy you’re not willing to joke about or make capital out of? Just wondered, given the many posts over the weekend revelling in the murder of 20 children because it makes “anti gun bedwetters” upset and because you’d “laugh if it turns out the mother of the shooter was a registered Democrat”. Next time someone makes a tasteless joke about wishing for Thatcher’s death, you demented types who use the murder of 6 year olds for point scoring might want to check if you’re really best placed to get on your high horse and call others nasty.

    I suppose I should go easy on you. After all, the blog is run by a drunk mick with 2 DUI convictions who thought it hilarious to post a cartoon mocking the attempted suicide of a Tory MP at a rail station.

    • 89
      The Liberal Arts says:

      Yawn

    • 103
      Anonymous says:

      In engineering there is a concept call a “noisy-channel”. This is with respect to being able to still use the channel for communications despite the “contamination”.

      This site is noisy and has sources of conflicting messages seeping in with little filtering. The destination must filter the whole stream to extract the messages that fit within the destination receivers requirements.

      So the messages you seem to “lock on to” are for others just random noise. It is similar to standing at a bar and talking. But no one goes into a bar and shouts out: “You drinkers are all talk crap and the landlord is a useless”. Mainly because activity like that categorises all those people into one fictitious stereotype and so actually condemn the speaker into being their own cartoon lefty stereotype.

      • 110
        Except says:

        Except when the majority of the comments are of that ilk.

        • 150
          Another anonymous. says:

          And the majority of the comments are of that ilk,hardly random noises,not a big percentage of conflicting comments, I love it myself but the last thing Iexpect on this site is impartiality.

    • 112
      Irish bloke down the pub says:

      That’s just unnecessarily rude, offensive and racist.

      A glass of Guiness barman, Slainte.

  26. 86
    Oh no! BBC does something that doesn't fit your lunatic theories says:

    You dribbling wingnuts are hilarious. You spend every day ranting about the bbc and then when its Sports Personality show gives awards to two Tories, you still make inane jokes about how it was a major “mistake” which goes against your conspiracy theory that they rig everything. In which case, why didn’t they rig the public vote to go to Farah? It’s ok, I’m sure you’ll come up with something. And why choose to give a special recognition award to Sebastian Coe? Let me see. “Because, um, because he’s not really a Tory. He’s actually Diane Abbott in disguise”. No more insane than your usual theories.

  27. 90
    HenryV says:

    It is fuel bills that are worrying me the most at the moment. I read on the web that there is a technology that can extract shale gas without “fracking”. This technology goes beyond proven it has been working in the US for over 20 years. Shale gas is making the US competitive again. Yet I then go on to read that even if the fuel is in itself cheap the EU taxes supported by the likes of the Liberal Democrats mean my bills will be just as high if not higher. Apparently all to do with a tax on carbon per ton. Quietly I am hopeful that this doesn’t transpire. That the market wins out. That the myth of Global Warming takes it place alongside other madnesses like speculating on tulip bulbs. That the Lib Dems are sinking and UKIP are rising gives me some hope. Hope is all I have. One wished Mr Clegg, with his faux English heritage, would disappear off to the Continent he so beloves. If he does that though it won’t be back to the chaos of ancestral homeland but to the orange groves of Spain. The sooner he goes and his party disintegrates the better.

  28. 105
    Anonymous says:

    The LibDems may be a joke, but if they prevent the revised and fairer constituency boundaries from being enacted before the next election, then Labour will win, and will be in power forever.

    Not quite so funny.

    • 114
      Sod the Scots says:

      Not if Smoked Salmon and all his pisshead countrymen fuck off into oblivion as we hope, together with all their Liebour M.P.s

      • 119
        HenryV says:

        If we had a Conservative as a leader of the Conservative Party then they would the next election. Referendum on Europe, no tax increases on shale gas, and red diesel for hauliers is all that is needed.

  29. 118
    Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

    Almost everyone on this blog seems to have watched this sports programme. I am proud to say I didn’t.

    Honestly, if you all hate the BBC so much, why do you watch it. Are you incapable of picking up the remote.

    • 121
      Two posters, multiple names says:

      .

    • 125
      HenryV says:

      I watch Sky News. I only watch the BBC for weather, The Sky At Night, and the occasional rugby match. But I still have to pay telly tax. If I watch a BBC news bulletin I can predict what they will say about most issues. And what they will be saying will be Left wing or Liebore propaganda. If I watch any BBC drama programme because I said I pay for it I can count on women being the leads, white men being the untrustworthy or sexist or nasty or idiots, other minority interests given a positive spin and the air of ubiquity. All in all I pay for something that doesn’t reflect me and apart from one programme, that now will probably be dumbed down now Sir Patrick has left us, and it isn’t fair.

    • 128
      Hank the Cat says:

      Do not watch relly anymore, just download from kickass or pirate bay

      • 129
        Hank the Cat says:

        I meant telly sorry

        • 144
          Anonymous says:

          Watch amalgamators on the net (there are plenty).
          See what you want
          See it when you want
          Not real-time
          So no bloody telly tax
          Yippee – it works well for me, are you watching anything better than ‘Father Ted’ I wonder.

  30. 136
    Lord Fondlebum of Boy says:

    Guido,

    Have you ever thought of running a topical and funny cartoon on the site every Monday morning?

  31. 139
    steve smith says:

    Why do you inflict these unfunny talentless efforts on us they ain’t at all amusing

  32. 140
  33. 141
    Nina says:

    Today’s announcement is priceless. Foot……. shoot….. own……


Seen Elsewhere

Labour Spell New Adviser’s Name Wrong | ITV
Dave Stung by Jellyfish | Sun
City Minister’s Inheritance Tax Dodging Trusts | Indy
What I Would Have Done if I was Sarah Wollaston | Iain Dale
Boris is an Epic Europhile | Louise Mensch
Warsi Got PM to Confront “Secular Fundamentalism” | Fraser Nelson
Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette
Jenni Russell and Her Child’s Godfather, Ed Miliband | Breitbart
Labour’s Left and Right are Growing Restive | Staggers
Corrupt, Incompetent UN Has No Right to Lecture Us | Dan Hannan
Mirror’s Lazy Lie | Guardian


new-advert
Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)


Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS




AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads