December 17th, 2012

Prezza, Parties, and Sally on the Sauce
Daily Star Sunday Column Now Online

If you had picked up your copy of the Daily Star Sunday yesterday you would already know that:

  • The PM has organised his Lobby drinks to clash with Ed Balls’ long-scheduled shindig. Coincidence? Meanwhile Nick Clegg’s Christmas drinks at Prezza’s old place seemed dull in comparison to George Osborne’s Gangnam Style antics.
  • Sally Bercow is officially back on the sauce, with a potential £50,000 bill due to Lord McAlpine who can blame her?
  • Louise Mensch has taken up weight-lifting, “to give her upper body strength to match the lower body strength she gets from jogging”. Well she needs something to pass the time.

Yesterday’s column is now online here


  1. 1
    Kebab Spoiler says:


  2. 2
    gramma says:

    Not sure about the “ho” Guido, even though it’s Christmas!

  3. 3
    Gays against marriage says:

    We don’t want gay marriages

    We want to be permanantly promiscuous

    And spread AIDS like we did buggering each other in the saunas of San Francisco where the epidemic began…

    As for our “children”

    Poor things

  4. 4
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    The venue for my ‘shindig’ has now been altered to a phone box in my constituency.

  5. 5
    Eric Joyce MP says:

    When is Guido’s Xmas drink up?

  6. 6

    Christ on a bike – I hope someone polished Prezzas old desk before the party – you could catch something terrible from it if not, like the menopause, or floppydickytitus or something.

    I’m just saying.

  7. 7
    Ikea Monkey says:

    I totally refute the assertion made on the BBC last Friday that I have AIDS.

    I am a clean monkey of good moral standing.

  8. 8

    Where the epidemic began. Interesting.
    I thought the epidemic began on the African continent at the beginning of the 20th century by chimp aids xeno transferring to humans from bushmeat.

    But that would be racist and v.bad to point that out, but homophobic and being factually wrong is OK.

    *•♫♪*•♫♪These (jack)boots are made for walking*•♫♪*•♫♪*•♫♪*•♫♪

  9. 9
    Labour = Waste says:

    Isn’t that the location of the office for which you reclaim the rental expenses?

  10. 10
    Moral outrage says:

    I trust that the Dirty Desmond pieces of silver are going on the Junior Fawkes’ Christmas gifts or some other deserving cause.

  11. 11
    Sally. says:

    Welcome to my alley.

  12. 12
    Number Six says:

    Two number fives– hold all tickets, pending Stewards’ Inquiry…

  13. 13
    Calamity Clegg says:

    My secret weapon to win more …………… pensioners

    https://twitter.comvotes in 2015/richardcalhoun/status/280600875003691008

  14. 14
    Calamity Clegg says:

  15. 15
    Twisted Logic says:

    Now, how exactly pointing out that contact with African bushmeat became racist is an interesting question and a triumph of propaganda.

    The initial transfers were very likely through the handling of uncooked meat, the spread in the human population from practices advocated by the missionaries in the previous century.

  16. 16
    The Grey Vote says:

    I paid National Insurance for 44 years(never claimed benefits)and still pay income tax …all to allow skivers and ne’er do wells to have as many kids as they like,live in Mayfair mansions and never bother to get off their arses to find work…..So on behalf of so called “rich oldies” everywhere you can fuck off and shove it up yer arse !!!

  17. 17
    Hic! Make his a triple says:

    “Sally back on the sauce”

    says mick with two DUI convictions.

  18. 18
    speaker says:


  19. 19
    Righties tend to be thick says:

  20. 20
    Cloney says:

    Cloney’s A Very Tory Christmas

    Chapter 3 – There’s Nothing in the Cabinet

    By this point in my journey my mind had grown weary, my legs also. Holding the jacket tight against my body did nothing to deflect the deathly chill as I walked through the quiet streets towards the marketing district, and closer to Mr Cameron’s place of work. I had hoped that my will could sustain me a little further, but about two hundred paces away from my destination the feet beneath me had given up.

    Looking around I prayed to find a tavern or shop that was still open, and my prayers were answered in the shape of a small pub embedded into one of the collumns of towering homes. I knew that this would not be the warmest of places, but it would get me away from the snow at the very least. I shuffled my now fragile and shivering frame towards the door of the tavern and pushed against it with all my strength – but just as I started to perform this action the door swished open and I was pulled in by a burly patron, who then shoved me to the floor.

    “It looks like someone has had enough already!” bellowed one voice.
    “Stupid lesser can’t even handle the smell of the wine!” replied another. A woman’s voice – the voice of a lady of high social standing.

    I picked myself up off the floor and informed them that I had fallen because I had been physically pushed, and not because of the wine fumes. My response was met with silence from all but the third voice of the group huddled in the corner.

    “That’s not what we saw, boy. You fell because of the smell of the wine – it’s the only logical explanation. Anything you say to the contrary is a lie.”

    This was a voice that I recognised very well indeed, for it was the voice of one of Mr Hague’s regular and esteemed guests. The voice was of his half brother, and owner of the salt mine, Mr Duncan Smith.

    “Don’t make me give you another flogging now, boy.”

    Mr Duncan Smith had been worse to me than Mr Hague, for at least Mr Hague acknowledged my existence. I felt an uncontrollable urge to charge at him with my remaining strength, but that strength would only tolerate one or two steps. I decided that now was not the time for foolish lashing, so I merely lifted my head and spoke out.

    “My name isn’t “boy”, Mr Duncan Smith. You know very well that my name is Con-”

    “Well, obviously you’re a con!” Mr Duncan Smith blurted out, interrupting me. “Now, come boy. Come and sit with us!”

    I knew that something was wrong, for Mr Duncan Smith had never invited me to attend a gathering with him before, but I needed to rest. As I sat down I recognised the other members as regulars of Mr Hague’s dinners. Mr Lansley, who had recently been promoted to a high ranked position of Mr Duncan Smith’s labour management business and Mrs May, a quiet sort of woman who had more bite than the others put together if you enraged her. The contempt they all felt towards me was thicker than the odour of expensive liqour emanating from their glasses.

    Mr Duncan Smith gave me a sharp thump on the back and tussled my jacket.

    “Where did you find such ghastly apparel?” he asked as the others tried in vain to stifle their giggles. “I asked you a question, con. Who bought you this attire?”.

    “I did, Mr Duncan Smith” I replied – my words met with instant howls of uncontrollable laughter.

    “YOU bought them? With what money did you take from your very own pocket to purchase such things?”
    “My wages, Mr Duncan Smith.”
    “Your wages?! Oh, you mean Mr Hague’s money.”
    “No, Mr Duncan Smith, MY money. It was paid to me by Mr Hague for my duties.”

    Mr Duncan Smith’s face turned sour as he grabbed my collar and pulled me towards him.

    “No, con. You did your duties for Mr Hague because he asked you to. When your betters command it; it is your place to obey. My job requires me to decide who, from the infestation of your kind, is worthy of gifts from our kind. It is OUR money always, you are merely given some because we are compassionate. Because, unlike your ilk, we understand the importance of kindness. All your kind does is take. You take OUR things because you are greedy – so we must decide what you may have.”

    Mrs May and Mr Lansley both stood up from the table, and I heard the door lock behind me.

    Mr Duncan Smith’s face was now a parchment’s width away from mine. My body too tired from cold, I could not find the strength in me to push him away. My mind was also too broken to stop the fear showing on my face – a look which seemed to please both Mrs May and Mr Lansley.

    “It seems that we may have to teach you some manners, con.”

    With those words; the world turned to darkness. When I awoke an hour later I would discover the true meaning of suffering. But, for now, I would try to rest

  21. 21
    RagheadsRus says:

    We will outbreed you. The future belongs to us!

  22. 22
    Meanwhile says:

    Absolutely spot on, tell the sick,lame and lazy brigade to fuck right off.
    Pay benefits in food stamps and vouchers.

  23. 23
  24. 24
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Allegedly the AIDS thing began in the Congo when a polio vaccine was being prepared using chimpanzee serum. Large scale tests (also in the Congo) of the vaccine allegedly contained a Chimp virus and was thus allegedly also transmitted to the recipients of the vaccine.

    After decolonisation large number of expert administrators from (French-speaking) Haiti came to fill the vacancies left by the departing Belgians. These unfortunate Haitians allegedly picked up the new virus and took it back to Haiti at the end of their tour of duty.

    “Holiday makers” from the US then picked up the virus in Haiti and took it back to their home country.

    And that was that.

    I don’t know if this is 100% fact and can’t vouch for what I read in a well-researched book.

  25. 25
    (Dick) Tracey says:

    In my experience, chipolatas need a drop of HP sauce.

  26. 26
    He who no longer posts says:

    Sally’s swallowed many measures
    Which have made her so up front.
    But even greater are the purple helmets
    She’s taken up her stairs

  27. 27
    Moussa Koussa Mark 3 says:

    LOL Borisido Boriswkes is now referring to it, as “””The PM”””.

    How is the tax exile sofa lover Guido this morning

  28. 28
    Guardian reading lefty says:

    How dare you gay marriage is a Frankfurt school idea to get the marxist revolution.

  29. 29
    Yoda says:

    Time too much on your hands you have.

  30. 30

    “from practices advocated by the missionaries in the previous century.”

    I love you lefties sanctification of races of a different colour who had no “unnatural” practices until the evil white man appeared.

    Propaganda? Nah mate – we are not in the same league as you socialists, national or otherwise.

    See no truth, speak no truth, do no truth. Engraved on every socialist heart.

    It was the leaving out of the African connection in order to stigmatise the section of society which suffered first and has been erroneously blamed for it – THAT’S propaganda.

  31. 31
    Hank the Cat says:

    You really are a tit mousey

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    keep labels away from truth.
    it is sacred.

    homo equals one world equals big boot.
    homo is the mechanism for terrorising the majority.
    have a cold shower. … uk out of eu…….vote ukip.

  33. 33
    Voteukip says:

    Little President Hollande has declared: “Usually when a country commits it is for life. It is not Europe a la carte.

    If only ‘the country’ was allowed to decide for itself who it committed itself to.

    What do we want? Referendum.
    When do we want it? Now.

  34. 34

    And just who pays for all these free parties ?
    if it’s the taxpayers then it’s only fair that we gate crash a few of them

  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    Can some one please whisper into Nick Clegg’s ear that they must NEVER remove OAP bus passes.

    What is wrong with this country is that we have divided the communities and have tried to isolate each “type” of people into their own area. We need the OAPs on the busses. They are our security. A bus filled only with the out of work, youngsters or even empty, is to frightening for many.

    Also having OAPs around the town bus station helps to balance the behaviour of the out of work and shocking mothers. Providing free passes means they get out of the house daily and buy small bags of shopping regularly. The health aspects must surely pay for these pieces of paper.

    For those that do not use them, the cost is minimal. Just the card. The cost of appeals resulting from denied cards would be more.

    It is not a free bus pass: It is an invitation to take part in society.

  36. 36
    Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

    AIDS is so 1980’s. The mere mention of the word takes me back to those dreadful years of the RT.Hon and Noble Lady.

  37. 37

    Yes – we need another Ex-banker and commodities broker capering for our attention as the answer to all our problems! Nigel Ferage – the thinking mans’ cypher.

  38. 38
    Dave the Rave, surrounded by criminals says:

    We believe in q u e e r marriage à la carte you see

    Marriage but no commital…

    In and out quick (and wipe it), if you know what I mean

    It will be mayhem but with everything alse going on it will just add to the general decline and collapse…

  39. 39
    Duke Nukem says:

    We will out bomb you. The future is glowing for you!

  40. 40
    Pared to the bone says:

    I personally am sick to death of the ‘scroungers’ rhetoric coming from this vile government. I would perhaps have shown Gidiot more support if his nasty medicine was working but it isnt…. it is killing the patient!

    The ‘closed curtains’ story is wheeled out every time they want to hit welfare again. The constant propaganda that all those on benefits are ‘workshy benefit scroungers’ is unfortunately been accepted by too many people. Folk actually fall for this crap! Most people on benefits are working, they are low paid. So whose fault is that? The governments…. bring in a living wage which is at a level whereby the ‘taxpayer’ (another buzz word that annoys me) doesnt have to subsidise business who would rather pay extortionate pay and perks to their bosses and shareholders than share the wealth with their workers. We need statutory regulation of rents too, private landlords charge exorbidant rents, this should be capped at a reasonable amount. It should be mandatory, assessors already come out and say what rent a property is worth, this should be set independently and a private landlord should not be allowed, by law, to charge above that. Housing benefit has shot through the roof (no pun intended) because greedy landlords are milking the system.

    This ‘scrounger’ rhetoric started off about the sick and disabled. It was to enable the government to slander and slag off this group so they could justify the attack on them. This attack had one purpose, to take benefits away. This they have managed to do…. it doesnt matter how sick or disabled a person is, if the computer says no thats it. It is totally immoral and heartless… but there again, this is tories we are talking about here. Now the hate rhetoric has spread to all sections of welfare, it seems if you receive any kind of benefits…. we really are all in this together…. the scroungers club that is….

  41. 41
    Anonymous says:

    war is on.
    homo world or hetro world.

    power is becoming more and more distant.
    so power back to the uk.
    vote ukip.

  42. 42
    2 Jags, 2 Cruises and the odd Shag (nowadays) says:

    It is all rather staid in Whitehall nowadays without my pranks

    You miss me, admit it…

    And at least I was hetero, unlike all these pinky-twinkies in the Tory
    and Liberal Parties…

    I am just off for my Christma cruise as a guest speaker and for endless pies

    Up all of yours BTW…

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    For someone that decided to change his partner on a whim he can not talk about commitment.

    A country does not commit for life unless it sold its sovereignty. Unless he believes the only way out of an emerging dictatorship takeover is war or separatist terrorism.

  44. 44
    Anonymous says:

    See 33 above.

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    LOL….lots of love……so nice…..and so early.

    issue is fairness,
    this site allows alternative viewpoint,
    we are all a mechanism…for the greater good…for getting to the truth.
    while the world appears imperfect…we should eat bitterness stoically like the new chinese overlord. he did and he has been greatly rewarded.

  46. 46
    Mustapha ben Effit says:

    I totally agree.

  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    Just like marriage, sometimes it just doesn’t work out.

    If I remember, we only signed up to the Common Market.

    The EU came into existence after the Maastricht Treaty, signed by John Major.

    Proof enough that the Tories are pro-EU.

  48. 48

    Yes, and Lord Voldamandelmort was SUCH a screaming hetero, and in no way was anything to do with the pink mafia that was, and still is the LieBore Party.

  49. 49
    Twisted Logic says:

    Erm – you have the wrong chap – not a socialist or on the left.

    The activities of the missionaries I refer to were rife during the time of the slave trade and shortly after, and were promoted more by the other European colonials than the English. It was a form of contraception advanced when it became apparent abstinence was not practical. The reasons for this were likely social engineering to reduce numbers etc. and impose relative moral values for control through a notion of shame about the body.

    This would have encouraged a spread through the heterosexual population primarily.

    Blood contact is all that was required for initial infection, and that is more likely during preparation of the meat for consumption that this occurred.

    There are unnatural practices which some in Africa follow. FGM is a prime topical example. Now why the colonials did not advocate stopping this is a good question, especially when a precedent had been set with regards the practice of Sati in India.

    The propaganda success is where the truth or even discussion of it has been made taboo, and the labels of division are immediately pulled out. That is evident across the board on the subject of AIDS.

  50. 50
    Twisted Logic says:

    That would be where the modern outbreak stemmed from. It was connected more with haemophiliac treatments, and an attempted effort to produce blood products for humans from animal sources.

    Shame that the WHO didn’t come clean on that, hence all the other rubbish on the issue.

  51. 51
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    TL – I don’t think so – the Congo origin seems well documented, and it goes back a long way possibly to early ’60s. Those were the very early days of polio vaccines and the race to be the first vaccine that was approved for world-wide use. Sabin and Salk were, but not the one trialled in the Congo.

    The haemophiliac thing is another of those tragedies – my closest friend’s son was haemophiliac and he got HIV. His mother had all the official bumf and the stated origin was blood products from the USA that were screened carefully, but not for this unknown virus. The tremendous scientific effort put in to find a cure saved his life (and all the others, of course). It was heart-breaking to see this young boy sitting by the fire pushing on a syringe about a quarter of the size of a bicycle pump, taking hours to get the dose in. The cost must have been colossal, but every penny of treatment was borne by the NHS ….

  52. 52
    Rufus Stone says:

    Like ‘The Grey Vote’, I too have contributed to NI all my working life – for what? For the expected benefits in my old age, regardless of my ‘wealth’.

    Nick Clegg is finishing the job Gordon Broon started with trashing the pensions. What a knob.

  53. 53
    Snowy says:

    Yes, quite so.

  54. 54
    A dreadful, but relativey comfortable after a life time of grind, olde farte says:


  55. 55
    A dreadful, but relatively comfortable after a life time of grind, olde farte says:

    Well, he being a multi millionaire of foreign extraction who has probably never had a proper job in his life, that would appear not expected. Why can’t somebody throw him in the Thames?

  56. 56
    Sick of scroungers says:

    Scroungers club – that sums it up nicely…………

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:

    it is about fairness and choice.

    eu is anti fairness.
    we do not have a choice .
    do not like ukip, setup your own party which will give us a mechanism to access power. eu is a very poor enabler of power to the masses. no choice means nothing can be done about stuff which is not fair.

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    Can’t understand why S.Bercow is upset at £50K lawsuit. Her sweet little husband profited £600k on a house recently, possibly at our expense- surely £50k lawsuit is peanuts. As for her describing herself as pleb, how many plebs can afford to hire the most expensive lawyers in the country.

  59. 59
    Anonymous says:


    all statist.
    how can mistakes be corrected if we are not aware.
    how can we be aware when state takes all possible actions to nullify awareness.

  60. 60
    The British Armed Forces says:

    No thanks,luv. Too many have been up there already.

  61. 61
    fitzfitz says:

    Disconcerting to think of those jail birds and Uddin lolling around the Lords” bars as if they have so … shame .

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