Merry Christmas Piers

Some might say Lord Sugar and his underlings have too much time on their hands, but to be fair they did manage a funny with the last of their alternative Christmas carols this afternoon:

piers m

Get into the Yuletide spirit by singing the full set around the fire…

H/T @ontablets

Caption Contest Winner

brianLast week’s belated caption contest winner is Chooky with this effort, the best of a very mediocre set of entries:

“After Cameron tells Leveson where to put his report, the Lord Justice regrets writing the 4th Volume.”

Get in touch for your copy of Geoffrey Robertson’s “Mullah’s Without Mercy”. Let’s try harder this week

Newsnight Parent Governor Actually Labour Activist

lucy

Last night’s Newsnight panel on free schools was made up of two headteachers, a former teacher and the suspiciously anti-Tory Lucy Reese, billed as “a parent governor from Camden where primary schools have the best Ofsted outcomes in the country”. What they didn’t tell you is that Reese is actually a Labour activist, touted earlier this year as a potential council candidate for upmarket Primrose Hill. A writer for Left Futures, when Reese isn’t helping out at her local primary school she knocks on doors telling people to vote for Ed. Must have slipped their mind…

Moran Lawyer Threatens Post-Leveson Press

£53,000 expenses cheat Margaret Moran’s lawyer has delivered a withering rant about how terribly out of order the press are for reporting her crimes:

piggymoran“The more vengeful press, who hound her at her front door, seem to think that the only way someone can be demonstrably mentally ill is if they are in a straitjacket in a padded cell. The reports back in April all agree that she suffers from this mental illness. Hounding a mentally ill woman is a dangerous and vile thing to do, at any time, particularly post the Leveson conclusions. It could have led to an increased risk of suicide. There will always be sections of the media who believe it’s a huge con. But they’ve not read all the evidence.”

At least Craig Oliver did it subtly…

Via @SophyRidgeSky

Friday Caption Contest (Sink or Swim Edition)

austin2

Of all the MP Christmas cards Guido has laid eyes on so far, this effort by Austin Mitchell is surely the most disturbing. This week’s best entry will win a copy of Fred Metcalf’s “Dictionary of Humorous Political Quotations”. Make them funny…

Miliband Immigration Integration “Learn English” Speech

miliband-word-cloud

Ed Miliband called on immigrants to integrate and learn English. Under Labour we were told that immigrants will have to reach a minimum standard in English language by the Home Secretary David Blunkett in 2004. Home Secretary Jacqui Smith in September 2007 said immigrants “need to integrate into our country, learn English and use our language.” In 2009 Immigration Minister Phil Woolas said “Immigrants must learn English.” They didn’t have much success in government with this policy…

UPDATE: Press released text to “check against delivery”:

We talked about “shared citizenship”.

But we did too little to tackle the realities of segregation in communities that were struggling to cope.

So Labour has to change as well.

What does a strategy for integration look like?

What he actually said verbatim:

We talked about “shared citizenship”.

But people said what does that actually mean in practice.

So we’ve got to change as well.

What does a strategy for integration look like.

Ed didn’t quite ‘fess up to one of Labour’s failures on immigration…

Burnham PPS Porky Pie Blooper

Still no apology from Debbie Abrahams following her Eoin Clarke-inspired question to the PM. Andy Burnham’s PPS claimed that Virgin Care was a donor to the Tory party and that it had shareholders on clinical commissioning group boards, allegations Clarke has had to issue a grovelling apology for. With Abrahams ignoring the subject on twitter and elsewhere, a co-conspirator got in touch last night to point Guido towards a tweet from two days ago:

Telling NHS porky pies even when presented with the facts? Talk about eating your words…

Browne Sugar LibDem’s ‘Fact-Finding Mission’ to Amsterdam

BROWNE

Coming out as pro-liberalisation if not pro-drugs legalisation, at least Nick Clegg is moving in the right direction this morning. There is much talk in Westminster, surely not rooted in jealously, of his announcement that Jeremy Browne will be sent on an all-expenses paid “fact-finding mission” to Amsterdam, Portugal and Latin America. The Home Office minister will be, ahem, researching the effects of liberal drugs policies in these countries. At least that’s what he is telling his boss…

Max Moments: I Banned Underage Girls From Sex Parties

MAX-MOMENTS

Max Clifford tells us in his book Read All About It” that he took extra care to make clear that underage girls were never allowed at his infamous sex parties. According to Clifford:

“The parties initially took place about once a month, then weekly.

[…]

+ READ MORE +

Moran Given Two-Year Treatment Order

Expenses cheat Margaret Moran was “too depressed” to attend court to hear her sentence this morning, but she faces a two-year supervision and treatment order as ‘punishment’ for her £53,000 swindle. This expenses piggie was found to have committed 15 counts of false accounting.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Hundreds Call On Hodge the Dodge To Answer Questions

Tweet #HodgetheDodge

CLICK

Last night Guido’s twitter campaign to force Margaret Hodge into answering our tax questions saw hundreds of readers demand a response from the question-dodging MP. Under the hashtag #HodgeTheDodge, hundreds of tweeters flooded the Public Accounts Committee chair’s Twitter account with questions about her Stemcor shareholdings.[…]

+ READ MORE +

Quote of the Day

Eleanor Laing told Nick Clegg…

“Come on. We’re not a bunch of sixth-formers. We’re politicians. You have every right to wriggle out of the exact words. That’s what politics is all about.”[…]

+ READ MORE +

Quote of the Day

Eleanor Laing told Nick Clegg…

“Come on. We’re not a bunch of sixth-formers. We’re politicians. You have every right to wriggle out of the exact words. That’s what politics is all about.”[…]

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Sky’s Faisal Islam on the mood in Parliament at the moment:

“It’s a totally febrile atmosphere here. It’s kind of like Game of Thrones meets House of Cards – and if you chuck in the Labour Party – Laurel and Hardy too.”

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