December 13th, 2012

Max Moments Clifford: “I Was Sexually Adventurous”


In his tell-all book Max Clifford devotes several chapters to his sex life. No detail is spared:

“I was sexually adventurous from an early age and if I wanted to do something specific like having sex with a girl when her parents were in the next room, I’d keep on trying until I found someone who wanted to do it too. Almost anything went, including having two girls at a time, having sex with girlfriends’ mothers and watching others have sex. It all seemed very natural to me. When I look back now at the risks I took, I realise I could have had all kinds of sexually transmitted diseases but luckily I never have.”

Too much information…


  1. 1
    rabid hamster says:

    Inflammation of the foreskin reminds of your smile…

  2. 2
    rabid hamster says:

    “reminds me” even!

  3. 3
    Tachybaptus says:

    Is there such a thing as sexually transmitted idiocy?

  4. 4
    Conrad says:

    Filthy beast.

  5. 5
    tlillis4 says:

    I don’t believe a word of it. The man is an expert at generating publicity. This was a cheap way to generate more “buzz” for his book. It’s his misfortune that it has now backfired.

  6. 6
    Chris Bryant says:

    **mind bleach**

  7. 7
    keredybretsa says:

    A Merry Syphilis and A Happy Gonorrhoea to all his readers!

  8. 8
    Pope Ludicrous III says:

    I shagged anything going until I found God.
    Now I self flaggetate every time I think of him.

  9. 9
    Airey Belvoir says:


  10. 10
    Old Hippy says:

    He was bloody lucky he didn’t have,The Umbrella,that made your knees wobble.

  11. 11
    Brown out and pay me damages says:

    Yuck. Too much information. Put me off my dinner.

  12. 12
    He who no longer posts says:

    The vast majority of the country’s population is a direct result of it.

  13. 13
    Rabbi Chaim Gunnar Kutsher-Dickov says:

    May I offer you my services?

  14. 14
  15. 15
    He who no longer posts says:

    Did he attend a seminary?

  16. 16
    I don't want to same air as Socialist dogshit. says:

    Minging Perv.

  17. 17
    A Man of the World says:

    I doubt if Mr Clifford really got laid all that much. People who go on about it, like him and Nick Clegg, are usually still only in double figures.

  18. 18
    Anyone know a good pr man says:

    Karma suitsya Max.

  19. 19
    ouch says:

    Get knotted sir

  20. 20
    A Sperm Bank says:

    Roughly half of them are of below average intelligence

  21. 21
    How adventurous really? says:

    ‘I was sexually adventurous from an early age’

    Adventurous? Meaning dogs and sheep and camels and the like?

  22. 22
    He who no longer posts says:

    Obviously, but average intelligence is not very intelligent at all.

  23. 23
    Father Murphy says:

    I trust you shall repent your sins, my son. Let’s make sure you’ve told me ALL of them, though, or you cannot be shriven. Right. Let’s start at the very beginning, Maxwell my son…

  24. 24
  25. 25
    WannameetsumonespeshI do says:

    Should have used bleach before taking that photo’ Chris babe.

  26. 26
    Scabby says:

    I’m trying to get the tree lights working and the electricity is connected, and I’m standing barefoot in a puddle of spillled tea,
    Looks like I could be a gonner-‘ere.

  27. 27
    Who says:

    I would.

  28. 28
    Tom Watson MP says:

    I once inserted a frog into my backside, for a laugh. Felt good though…

  29. 29
    Ivor Biggun says:

    You’ve got syphilis, gonorrhoea, non-specific urethritis, herpes, chlamydia.

    What does it mean doc?

    You’re an incurable romantic.

  30. 30
    I d on't nee d no doctor says:

    Was it Hollande?

  31. 31
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Max is a man after my own heart. Boaz.

  32. 32
    Kebab Sports II says:

    Tom Watson is named 2014 US Ryder Cup captain

  33. 33
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    {Lithuanian gang which stole lead from church roofs and left a £1m repair bill are jailed for total of 20 years
    Lincoln-based gang hit 20 churches over three counties in nine months
    They made almost £70,000 from selling stolen lead but six were arrested
    Lincolnshire was badly-hit last year but raids have fallen 90% since their arrests.}

    Why this “total of 20 years”??
    There were 6 of the buggers = 3.5 years each = 2 with remission and no deportation. Soon the gays won’t have a church to get married in at this rate.

  34. 34
    He who no longer posts says:

    Lincoln Imps.

  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    Or you’ve sung the first line of a missing Tom Lehrer song.

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    Believe me, Max is telling the truth on this one. Tried to sell the story to the NoW but they weren’t having it. Can’t think why.

  37. 37
    He who no longer posts says:

    A … survey published on Thursday found that one in four adults has the maths skills of a nine-year-old or worse and struggles with the most basic everyday sums.

  38. 38
    nellnewman says:

    *Sigh* What happened to discretion and honour?!

  39. 39
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    Guardian Hacks On Strike

    Should give us a few laughs with the spelling on the placards.

  40. 40
    Ivor Biggun says:

  41. 41
    Xenophon says:

    We already knew he was a vile and unprincipled man; this adds little to our understanding.

  42. 42
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Can someone please explain WHY we are paying some Libyan 2 million quid when it was the Labour party that had him sent off to Libya?

    Shouldn’t the bill go to that grinning gormless idiot Red Ed to pay out of Labour party funds?

  43. 43
    Operation Crossbow says:

    So why did no one tell the queen today that the banking crisis was started by that one eyed idiot that used to come and see her once a week?

  44. 44
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    I wanted to be sexually adventurous.

    Stupidly used a moral compass, never got there.

  45. 45
    Old Rodger says:

    Clifford boasts:
    “I realise I could have had all kinds of sexually transmitted diseases but luckily I never have” No thoughts for welfare of your partners then, what a thoroughly despicable and amoral person. How many young girls did you really give the clap or worse to Mr penicillin?.

  46. 46
    The Lamma Ferry says:

    I thought the chinese were in charge in Hong Kong at that time. Can’t they pay a bit?

  47. 47
    Kebab Appreciation Society says:

    Sally Bercow is considerably going up in my esteem by the minute ! Lets hope that she puts McAlpine well and truly between a Rock and a Hard Place…….He would have done much better to slink away and play martyr.

    Good for her ! I anticipate many hours of entertainment over this one !

  48. 48
    Living in 96.98 percent white Merseyside says:

    Bet their maths are good when checking their benefits.

  49. 49
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    Max, life is a sexually transmitted disease.

  50. 50
    The Anglo Saxon Chronicle Small Ads Section says:

    Nail them to the doors of one of the churches they stole from

  51. 51
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    Quite simple, because he didn’t.

  52. 52
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    Wagon train making it’s way down the M62 to 96.98 percent white Merseyside from Bradford.

  53. 53
    What a load of baloney says:

    = He lost his virginity some time in his mid twenties

  54. 54
  55. 55
    neilfutureboy says:

    Good for him.
    What adolescent didn”t or more likely didn’t want to?

    What a po-faced bowdlerising society we are becoming when such stuff gets dragged up generations later.

    Don’t you have some real scandals to object to Guido?
    How about the ENTIRE BBC deliberately lying for years to justify being totalitarian fascist propagandists?

    Does any informed and honest person, following 28gate. now even suggest there is any beeboid in their management or “news” divisions who isn’t 1,000 more corrupt than Savile ever was?
    Is it even possible for an honest and informed person to claim that?

  56. 56
    Old Rodger says:

    A Cock and a large Plaice.

  57. 57
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    Fracking OMG

    Drilling for oil is emptying the North Sea.

  58. 58
    The Max Factor says:

    Last week the media were very quick to identify Max Clifford and Stuart Hall who were both helping Plod with his inquiries into Jimmy Savile & Co.

    Two others were also giving their ‘help’, a man in his sixties and a man in his eighties. Why have no names been given for these two? Has the press been nobbled?

  59. 59
    Winter Vomiting Bug says:

    God it’s cold here, I’m going on a cruise.

  60. 60
    Anonymous says:

    Well done Lord McAlpine. Sue the bitch !

  61. 61
    Operation Crossbow says:

    But he did, he allowed the banks to get away with reckless lending, he borrowed too much, ran up a huge deficit and hid billions of pounds of debt through the PFI schemes.

    Oh and he flogged off most of our gold at shit prices.

  62. 62
    HMMM says:

    Trying to follow in the footsteps of his ancestor John Brown (Queen Vics manservant).

  63. 63
    Little Jimmy Brown says:

    “All the chapel bells were missing…”

  64. 64
    HMMM says:

    Got my insurance claim in already, the barely detectable 000.5 on the Richter scale collapsed my house.

  65. 65
    News Corp e-mail remover says:

    Gays should only be allowed to married in deconsacrated churches with no roofs

    And in fancy cross dress to look even more ridiculous

    With feathers stuck in their anuses

    And their cocks tarred and feathered

  66. 66
    Dr Tom Watson says:

    …err that’s the Dr Tom Watson

  67. 67
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Instead, he turned out to be a madman and self-proclaimed Saviour, more like a quite different John Brown.
    Let’s hope he ends up the same way.

  68. 68
    nellnewman says:

    Do a fly cruise. You do NOT want to be sailing over the Bay of Biscay in winter!!

  69. 69
  70. 70
    nellnewman says:

    They didn’t need to tell her that. She knew that already. Why else do you think she never invited him to Prince William and Kate’s wedding?

  71. 71
    nellnewman says:

    Ah your moral compass is real unlike gordon’s which was imaginary.

  72. 72
    nellnewman says:

    Well the two people directly responsible were straw and bliar . Suspect bliar could have paid this out without distressing his burgeoning bank balance.

  73. 73
    A woman says:

    I read Clifford’s autobiography when it came out.
    It didn’t endear me to him.

  74. 74
    nellnewman says:

    Don’t forget gordon’s Piece De Resistance ‘Light Touch Regulation’!!!

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    I want to know which union leader has allegedly been harassing a woman colleague?

  76. 76
    I Fist my own Arse by Using my Own Head says:


  77. 77
    I d on't nee d no doctor says:

    Miliband should call for a judge led inquiry.

  78. 78
    Elton John says:

    That’s right! He never even came to see me once! The bastard!

  79. 79
    Fatwatchers says:

    Looks like Sally Ber Cow will be loosing a staggering number of pounds for Christmas!

  80. 80
    I Fist my own Arse by Using my Own Head says:

    All they need is basic skills for claiming benefits.

  81. 81
    I d on't nee d no doctor says:

    Jack Straw, soon to star as the Rendition Man. Wonder if he will take Blair down with him?

  82. 82
    I d on't nee d no doctor says:

    Ding dong merrily on high.

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    Sexually adventurous my arse! Smacks a bit of Jay, Inbetweeners.

    “I swear down dead I did lads. Had the girldfriend’s Mam and everything. Yeah, whilst her old fella was next door. Yeah, yeah. And then two at once I swear.”

    Away, fuck off Maxy lad and get us another round in.

  84. 84
    Gordon B says:

    35% don’t understand percentages much at all, 55% understand them sufficiently well to get by, and the remaining 30% are pretty expert using them.

  85. 85
    nellnewman says:

    bliar is saving himself to become the next President of the EU. Hopefully by then the UK will have jumped from the sinking EU ship.

  86. 86
    Mr Helpful says:

    No, I think Moussa Koussa’s pet meerkat was pointing out that Snotty McMental didn’t see the Queen every week.

    The first few times he went round, the curtains were closed and there was no-one at home (but there were some strange giggling noises he could hear faintly through the glass). After that, he didn’t bother. He just stayed in his office, borrowing money like a nutter.

  87. 87
    Mr Helpful says:

    No, I think Moussa Koussa’s pet meerkat was pointing out that Snotty McMental didn’t see the Queen every week.

    The first few times he went round, the curtains were closed and there was no-one at home (but there were some strange giggling noises he could hear faintly through the window). After that, he didn’t bother. He just stayed in his office, borrowing money like a nutter.

  88. 88
    Queen Vic says:

    Does Angie from EE know ?

  89. 89
    Never forget says:

    That was about the first thing he did after the election.

    Odious individual, like the debt he left.

  90. 90
    Off me chest says:

    Karma Jack babe.

    Not many people going to be on your side, so get that depression in the news again to fool m’lud. imho you’re a total wanker.

  91. 91
    David Camoron's Cock Ring says:

    Bliar should be watched carefully, and not allowed anywhere near the Euromongs.

  92. 92
    Democracy, EU style. says:

    Isn’t it amazing – the EU has three presidents, and we weren’t allowed to vote for any of them.

    And all the leaders of both main political parties (plus 8th-place LimpDumbs) think this is great.

  93. 93
    Democracy, EU style. says:

    Isn’t it amazing – the EU has three presidents, and we weren’t allowed to vote for any of them.

    And all the leaders of both main political parties (plus 8th-place LimpDumps) think this is great.

  94. 94
    Sir William W says:

    i.e. Max had a quick Jodrell over his Dad’s copy of Penthouse.

    Do we believe anything Mr Clifford says about anything? I think, on the whole, not.

  95. 95
    Jack Straw's dad was a coward and he passed it on to his son. says:

    Take Blair down with him? Don’t be daft – that would involve a certain degree of courage. Not something that runs in the Straw family’s DNA.

  96. 96
  97. 97
    Sir William W says:

    I’m not sure Gordon knew what was going on. More likely it was Ballsie.

  98. 98
    Anonymous says:

    too much theatre in the public eye.
    change 999 to 110.
    it is calming

  99. 99
    well who would have guessed says:

    Maybe they are making their way to Liverpool airport or the Cruise ship terminal, hope they don’t stay long in Liverpool, parking charges will cost you an arm and three legs.

  100. 100
    knobnuts says:

    do u mean hollande’s sauce ..sorry I’ll get my coat

  101. 101
    SaltPetre says:

    What a dirty disgusting dog Max is.

  102. 102
    Lady Britain says:

    thats ungodly rude young man

  103. 103
    Eddie Boys Bandwagon Tour special events organiser says:

    are you taking bookings ?

  104. 104
    Gordon Brown ..the never forgotten years...period says:

    no the first thing he did was hit the pensions industry full on.

  105. 105
    Public Opinion Instantogram says:

    plus lots

  106. 106
    confused.... says:

    seems strange why the names haven’t appeared.. the ’80s man is not such a mystery but the other 60s still seems to be alluding the general public’s ear.

  107. 107
    fnar fnar says:


  108. 108
    I Fist my own Arse by Using my Own Head says:

    Rolf Harris had three legs but lost one when he did two little boys.

  109. 109
    I Fist my own Arse by Using my Own Head says:

    Vomit and Cruise ?

    I think I will fly.!

  110. 110
    1 1 8 says:

    You bitch.

  111. 111
    Smoot says:

    Viva Ward Bond.

  112. 112
    not funny says:

    seen Inbetweeners USA yet?

  113. 113
    Mad Max says:

    For £2.2m I’d like to be renditioned.

  114. 114
    Anonymous says:

    when there is war and terror who will be the saviour.
    the war for that slot is on,
    why does Prince charles want to be the leader
    of faith. it used to be leader of the faith. is multi.cult a decoy.
    all cults report to one. everything hinges on the ambition. how tree.mendous is it?

  115. 115
    Geordies certainly do things different says:

    Someone should have thrown a bucket of water over him, to cool is ardour. Never understood blokes that can’t keep their tackle in their trousers – it’s an illness.

  116. 116
    Geordies certainly do things different says:

    He’s definitely a sore plonker now.

  117. 117
    Enemy of the State says:

    Can you say Sociopath? I think so.

  118. 118
    I'm new here. says:

    I’m 120% behind this statistic.

  119. 119
    rabid hamster says:

    nope, that was me!

  120. 120
    Geordies certainly do things different says:

    Male nymph more like. Sociopath is a secondary symptom, as like the rate of visits per year to the pox clinic.

  121. 121
    rabid hamster says:

    take the b!tch to the cleaners! … assuming she knows what a cleaners is and doesnt just have a little polish woman round twice a week to ‘do’ her undies.

    ‘do’ here refers to “disinfecting” or indeed “decontaminating”

  122. 122
    Peter Carter-Fuck says:

    It’s shit, they can’t even say fuck.

  123. 123
    Moby Dick says:

    Basically Max has played Simon Says with his cliental portfolios all his life

  124. 124
    hohum says:

    .. and checking the payout on the winner of the 2.30 at Aintree

  125. 125
    hohum says:

    Wrong week?

  126. 126
    Curly says:

    If he did it must have been a seminal experience.

  127. 127
    Curly says:

    That was very careless of him. Did he look under the bed?

  128. 128
    Curly says:

    TW MP = a hole in one.

  129. 129
    Curly queue says:


  130. 130
    Buzz saw says:

    Oak K, you got us. It is plane to see there is no answer forthcoming.

  131. 131
    Buzz saw says:

    Since Bliar was such a great mate of Gaddafi’s shouldn’t he be rendered back to Tripoli now? I’m sure there are one or two folk out that way who might wish to have a word in his shell-like….

  132. 132
    Lard Prescott says:

    I once stuck a spark plug up my arse. It was Champion

  133. 133
    Max Partridge says:

    Needless to say I had the last laugh

  134. 134
    Eugene Mc Daid says:

    Did we really want to know about Clifford’s extracurricular activities?
    I think not!

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

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