December 13th, 2012

Max Moments Clifford: “I Was Sexually Adventurous”


In his tell-all book Max Clifford devotes several chapters to his sex life. No detail is spared:

“I was sexually adventurous from an early age and if I wanted to do something specific like having sex with a girl when her parents were in the next room, I’d keep on trying until I found someone who wanted to do it too. Almost anything went, including having two girls at a time, having sex with girlfriends’ mothers and watching others have sex. It all seemed very natural to me. When I look back now at the risks I took, I realise I could have had all kinds of sexually transmitted diseases but luckily I never have.”

Too much information…


  1. 1
    rabid hamster says:

    Inflammation of the foreskin reminds of your smile…


  2. 3
    Tachybaptus says:

    Is there such a thing as sexually transmitted idiocy?


  3. 4
    Conrad says:

    Filthy beast.


  4. 5
    tlillis4 says:

    I don’t believe a word of it. The man is an expert at generating publicity. This was a cheap way to generate more “buzz” for his book. It’s his misfortune that it has now backfired.


  5. 6
    Chris Bryant says:

    **mind bleach**


  6. 7
    keredybretsa says:

    A Merry Syphilis and A Happy Gonorrhoea to all his readers!


    • 26
      Scabby says:

      I’m trying to get the tree lights working and the electricity is connected, and I’m standing barefoot in a puddle of spillled tea,
      Looks like I could be a gonner-‘ere.


  7. 8
    Pope Ludicrous III says:

    I shagged anything going until I found God.
    Now I self flaggetate every time I think of him.


  8. 9
    Airey Belvoir says:



  9. 11
    Brown out and pay me damages says:

    Yuck. Too much information. Put me off my dinner.


  10. 14
  11. 15
    He who no longer posts says:

    Did he attend a seminary?


  12. 16
    I don't want to same air as Socialist dogshit. says:

    Minging Perv.


  13. 17
    A Man of the World says:

    I doubt if Mr Clifford really got laid all that much. People who go on about it, like him and Nick Clegg, are usually still only in double figures.


  14. 21
    How adventurous really? says:

    ‘I was sexually adventurous from an early age’

    Adventurous? Meaning dogs and sheep and camels and the like?


  15. 23
    Father Murphy says:

    I trust you shall repent your sins, my son. Let’s make sure you’ve told me ALL of them, though, or you cannot be shriven. Right. Let’s start at the very beginning, Maxwell my son…


  16. 27
    Who says:

    I would.


  17. 29
    Ivor Biggun says:

    You’ve got syphilis, gonorrhoea, non-specific urethritis, herpes, chlamydia.

    What does it mean doc?

    You’re an incurable romantic.


  18. 32
    Kebab Sports II says:

    Tom Watson is named 2014 US Ryder Cup captain


  19. 33
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    {Lithuanian gang which stole lead from church roofs and left a £1m repair bill are jailed for total of 20 years
    Lincoln-based gang hit 20 churches over three counties in nine months
    They made almost £70,000 from selling stolen lead but six were arrested
    Lincolnshire was badly-hit last year but raids have fallen 90% since their arrests.}

    Why this “total of 20 years”??
    There were 6 of the buggers = 3.5 years each = 2 with remission and no deportation. Soon the gays won’t have a church to get married in at this rate.


    • 34
      He who no longer posts says:

      Lincoln Imps.


    • 50
      The Anglo Saxon Chronicle Small Ads Section says:

      Nail them to the doors of one of the churches they stole from


    • 63
      Little Jimmy Brown says:

      “All the chapel bells were missing…”


    • 65
      News Corp e-mail remover says:

      Gays should only be allowed to married in deconsacrated churches with no roofs

      And in fancy cross dress to look even more ridiculous

      With feathers stuck in their anuses

      And their cocks tarred and feathered


      • 103
        Eddie Boys Bandwagon Tour special events organiser says:

        are you taking bookings ?


      • 114
        Anonymous says:

        when there is war and terror who will be the saviour.
        the war for that slot is on,
        why does Prince charles want to be the leader
        of faith. it used to be leader of the faith. is multi.cult a decoy.
        all cults report to one. everything hinges on the ambition. how tree.mendous is it?


  20. 38
    nellnewman says:

    *Sigh* What happened to discretion and honour?!


  21. 39
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    Guardian Hacks On Strike

    Should give us a few laughs with the spelling on the placards.


  22. 41
    Xenophon says:

    We already knew he was a vile and unprincipled man; this adds little to our understanding.


  23. 42
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Can someone please explain WHY we are paying some Libyan 2 million quid when it was the Labour party that had him sent off to Libya?

    Shouldn’t the bill go to that grinning gormless idiot Red Ed to pay out of Labour party funds?


    • 46
      The Lamma Ferry says:

      I thought the chinese were in charge in Hong Kong at that time. Can’t they pay a bit?


    • 72
      nellnewman says:

      Well the two people directly responsible were straw and bliar . Suspect bliar could have paid this out without distressing his burgeoning bank balance.


      • 131
        Buzz saw says:

        Since Bliar was such a great mate of Gaddafi’s shouldn’t he be rendered back to Tripoli now? I’m sure there are one or two folk out that way who might wish to have a word in his shell-like….


    • 77
      I d on't nee d no doctor says:

      Miliband should call for a judge led inquiry.


  24. 43
    Operation Crossbow says:

    So why did no one tell the queen today that the banking crisis was started by that one eyed idiot that used to come and see her once a week?


    • 51
      Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

      Quite simple, because he didn’t.


      • 61
        Operation Crossbow says:

        But he did, he allowed the banks to get away with reckless lending, he borrowed too much, ran up a huge deficit and hid billions of pounds of debt through the PFI schemes.

        Oh and he flogged off most of our gold at shit prices.


        • 74
          nellnewman says:

          Don’t forget gordon’s Piece De Resistance ‘Light Touch Regulation’!!!


        • 86
          Mr Helpful says:

          No, I think Moussa Koussa’s pet meerkat was pointing out that Snotty McMental didn’t see the Queen every week.

          The first few times he went round, the curtains were closed and there was no-one at home (but there were some strange giggling noises he could hear faintly through the glass). After that, he didn’t bother. He just stayed in his office, borrowing money like a nutter.


        • 87
          Mr Helpful says:

          No, I think Moussa Koussa’s pet meerkat was pointing out that Snotty McMental didn’t see the Queen every week.

          The first few times he went round, the curtains were closed and there was no-one at home (but there were some strange giggling noises he could hear faintly through the window). After that, he didn’t bother. He just stayed in his office, borrowing money like a nutter.


        • 97
          Sir William W says:

          I’m not sure Gordon knew what was going on. More likely it was Ballsie.


      • 78
        Elton John says:

        That’s right! He never even came to see me once! The bastard!


    • 62
      HMMM says:

      Trying to follow in the footsteps of his ancestor John Brown (Queen Vics manservant).


      • 67
        Tay King-dePisse says:

        Instead, he turned out to be a madman and self-proclaimed Saviour, more like a quite different John Brown.
        Let’s hope he ends up the same way.


    • 70
      nellnewman says:

      They didn’t need to tell her that. She knew that already. Why else do you think she never invited him to Prince William and Kate’s wedding?


  25. 44
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    I wanted to be sexually adventurous.

    Stupidly used a moral compass, never got there.


  26. 45
    Old Rodger says:

    Clifford boasts:
    “I realise I could have had all kinds of sexually transmitted diseases but luckily I never have” No thoughts for welfare of your partners then, what a thoroughly despicable and amoral person. How many young girls did you really give the clap or worse to Mr penicillin?.


  27. 47
    Kebab Appreciation Society says:

    Sally Bercow is considerably going up in my esteem by the minute ! Lets hope that she puts McAlpine well and truly between a Rock and a Hard Place…….He would have done much better to slink away and play martyr.

    Good for her ! I anticipate many hours of entertainment over this one !


  28. 52
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    Wagon train making it’s way down the M62 to 96.98 percent white Merseyside from Bradford.


    • 99
      well who would have guessed says:

      Maybe they are making their way to Liverpool airport or the Cruise ship terminal, hope they don’t stay long in Liverpool, parking charges will cost you an arm and three legs.


    • 111
      Smoot says:

      Viva Ward Bond.


  29. 55
    neilfutureboy says:

    Good for him.
    What adolescent didn”t or more likely didn’t want to?

    What a po-faced bowdlerising society we are becoming when such stuff gets dragged up generations later.

    Don’t you have some real scandals to object to Guido?
    How about the ENTIRE BBC deliberately lying for years to justify being totalitarian fascist propagandists?

    Does any informed and honest person, following 28gate. now even suggest there is any beeboid in their management or “news” divisions who isn’t 1,000 more corrupt than Savile ever was?
    Is it even possible for an honest and informed person to claim that?


  30. 57
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    Fracking OMG

    Drilling for oil is emptying the North Sea.


  31. 58
    The Max Factor says:

    Last week the media were very quick to identify Max Clifford and Stuart Hall who were both helping Plod with his inquiries into Jimmy Savile & Co.

    Two others were also giving their ‘help’, a man in his sixties and a man in his eighties. Why have no names been given for these two? Has the press been nobbled?


  32. 59
    Winter Vomiting Bug says:

    God it’s cold here, I’m going on a cruise.


  33. 69
  34. 79
    Fatwatchers says:

    Looks like Sally Ber Cow will be loosing a staggering number of pounds for Christmas!


  35. 81
    I d on't nee d no doctor says:

    Jack Straw, soon to star as the Rendition Man. Wonder if he will take Blair down with him?


    • 85
      nellnewman says:

      bliar is saving himself to become the next President of the EU. Hopefully by then the UK will have jumped from the sinking EU ship.


      • 91
        David Camoron's Cock Ring says:

        Bliar should be watched carefully, and not allowed anywhere near the Euromongs.


      • 92
        Democracy, EU style. says:

        Isn’t it amazing – the EU has three presidents, and we weren’t allowed to vote for any of them.

        And all the leaders of both main political parties (plus 8th-place LimpDumbs) think this is great.


      • 93
        Democracy, EU style. says:

        Isn’t it amazing – the EU has three presidents, and we weren’t allowed to vote for any of them.

        And all the leaders of both main political parties (plus 8th-place LimpDumps) think this is great.


    • 90
      Off me chest says:

      Karma Jack babe.

      Not many people going to be on your side, so get that depression in the news again to fool m’lud. imho you’re a total wanker.


    • 95
      Jack Straw's dad was a coward and he passed it on to his son. says:

      Take Blair down with him? Don’t be daft – that would involve a certain degree of courage. Not something that runs in the Straw family’s DNA.


    • 96
  36. 83
    Anonymous says:

    Sexually adventurous my arse! Smacks a bit of Jay, Inbetweeners.

    “I swear down dead I did lads. Had the girldfriend’s Mam and everything. Yeah, whilst her old fella was next door. Yeah, yeah. And then two at once I swear.”

    Away, fuck off Maxy lad and get us another round in.


  37. 94
    Sir William W says:

    i.e. Max had a quick Jodrell over his Dad’s copy of Penthouse.

    Do we believe anything Mr Clifford says about anything? I think, on the whole, not.


  38. 101
    SaltPetre says:

    What a dirty disgusting dog Max is.


  39. 113
    Mad Max says:

    For £2.2m I’d like to be renditioned.


  40. 115
    Geordies certainly do things different says:

    Someone should have thrown a bucket of water over him, to cool is ardour. Never understood blokes that can’t keep their tackle in their trousers – it’s an illness.


  41. 117
    Enemy of the State says:

    Can you say Sociopath? I think so.


    • 120
      Geordies certainly do things different says:

      Male nymph more like. Sociopath is a secondary symptom, as like the rate of visits per year to the pox clinic.


  42. 123
    Moby Dick says:

    Basically Max has played Simon Says with his cliental portfolios all his life


  43. 133
    Max Partridge says:

    Needless to say I had the last laugh


  44. 134
    Eugene Mc Daid says:

    Did we really want to know about Clifford’s extracurricular activities?
    I think not!


Media Reader

Tory MP Tells Leftie Jon Snow to Retire | Guardian
Guido Whips Politicians Into Shape | Guardian
Mrs Danczuk Beats Mensch to Win Guido | Telegaph
PM Congratulates Blogger Who Destroyed Minister | Mail
Revealed: Guido Fawkes Anniversary Dinner Guestlist | Peter Oborne
Give Journalists Public Interest Defence in Law | Guardian
Cameron Mustn’t Scupper TV Debates | Steve Hewlett
Double Standards of Police Leaks to Guardian | Mail
Legalise Pot | NY Times
How Police Hack Phones and Email | Times
Guardian Journalists Paid Above Market Worth | Tom Utley

Find out more about PLMR

Rob Colvile reviews Russell Brand’s new book:

“Oddly, the person I feel sorriest for isn’t Brand himself – although he certainly comes across as a rather pitiable figure, projecting his own brokenness on to the world around him – but Johann Hari. Drummed out of Fleet Street for plagiarism, the former Independent columnist has washed up as “my mate Johann, who’s been doing research for this book”. For a genuinely talented polemicist, it would have been a humbling experience to have to treat this sub-undergraduate dross as the scintillating wisdom of a philosopher-king.”

Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!

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