Max Moments Clifford: “I Was Sexually Adventurous”
In his tell-all book Max Clifford devotes several chapters to his sex life. No detail is spared:
“I was sexually adventurous from an early age and if I wanted to do something specific like having sex with a girl when her parents were in the next room, I’d keep on trying until I found someone who wanted to do it too. Almost anything went, including having two girls at a time, having sex with girlfriends’ mothers and watching others have sex. It all seemed very natural to me. When I look back now at the risks I took, I realise I could have had all kinds of sexually transmitted diseases but luckily I never have.”
Too much information…
Inflammation of the foreskin reminds of your smile…
“reminds me” even!
He’s definitely a sore plonker now.
May I offer you my services?
I once inserted a frog into my backside, for a laugh. Felt good though…
Was it Hollande?
do u mean hollande’s sauce ..sorry I’ll get my coat
Gross
I once stuck a spark plug up my arse. It was Champion
Max, life is a sexually transmitted disease.
Is there such a thing as sexually transmitted idiocy?
He was bloody lucky he didn’t have,The Umbrella,that made your knees wobble.
The vast majority of the country’s population is a direct result of it.
Roughly half of them are of below average intelligence
Obviously, but average intelligence is not very intelligent at all.
A … survey published on Thursday found that one in four adults has the maths skills of a nine-year-old or worse and struggles with the most basic everyday sums.
http://bit.ly/SizdOI
Bet their maths are good when checking their benefits.
35% don’t understand percentages much at all, 55% understand them sufficiently well to get by, and the remaining 30% are pretty expert using them.
I’m 120% behind this statistic.
All they need is basic skills for claiming benefits.
.. and checking the payout on the winner of the 2.30 at Aintree
Filthy beast.
Max is a man after my own heart. Boaz.
I don’t believe a word of it. The man is an expert at generating publicity. This was a cheap way to generate more “buzz” for his book. It’s his misfortune that it has now backfired.
Karma suitsya Max.
Believe me, Max is telling the truth on this one. Tried to sell the story to the NoW but they weren’t having it. Can’t think why.
Wrong week?
**mind bleach**
Should have used bleach before taking that photo’ Chris babe.
A Merry Syphilis and A Happy Gonorrhoea to all his readers!
I’m trying to get the tree lights working and the electricity is connected, and I’m standing barefoot in a puddle of spillled tea,
Looks like I could be a gonner-’ere.
I shagged anything going until I found God.
Now I self flaggetate every time I think of him.
Get knotted sir
NSFW:
http://tinyurl.com/by53mpq
thats ungodly rude young man
Yuk!
Yuck. Too much information. Put me off my dinner.
First
nope, that was me!
Did he attend a seminary?
If he did it must have been a seminal experience.
Minging Perv.
I doubt if Mr Clifford really got laid all that much. People who go on about it, like him and Nick Clegg, are usually still only in double figures.
Two?
‘I was sexually adventurous from an early age’
Adventurous? Meaning dogs and sheep and camels and the like?
= He lost his virginity some time in his mid twenties
That was very careless of him. Did he look under the bed?
I trust you shall repent your sins, my son. Let’s make sure you’ve told me ALL of them, though, or you cannot be shriven. Right. Let’s start at the very beginning, Maxwell my son…
I would.
You’ve got syphilis, gonorrhoea, non-specific urethritis, herpes, chlamydia.
What does it mean doc?
You’re an incurable romantic.
Or you’ve sung the first line of a missing Tom Lehrer song.
Brilliant!
Tom Watson is named 2014 US Ryder Cup captain
…err that’s the Dr Tom Watson
TW MP = a hole in one.
{Lithuanian gang which stole lead from church roofs and left a £1m repair bill are jailed for total of 20 years
Lincoln-based gang hit 20 churches over three counties in nine months
They made almost £70,000 from selling stolen lead but six were arrested
Lincolnshire was badly-hit last year but raids have fallen 90% since their arrests.}
Why this “total of 20 years”??
There were 6 of the buggers = 3.5 years each = 2 with remission and no deportation. Soon the gays won’t have a church to get married in at this rate.
Lincoln Imps.
Nail them to the doors of one of the churches they stole from
“All the chapel bells were missing…”
Gays should only be allowed to married in deconsacrated churches with no roofs
And in fancy cross dress to look even more ridiculous
With feathers stuck in their anuses
And their cocks tarred and feathered
are you taking bookings ?
when there is war and terror who will be the saviour.
the war for that slot is on,
,
,
why does Prince charles want to be the leader
of faith. it used to be leader of the faith. is multi.cult a decoy.
all cults report to one. everything hinges on the ambition. how tree.mendous is it?
Oak K, you got us. It is plane to see there is no answer forthcoming.
*Sigh* What happened to discretion and honour?!
Guardian Hacks On Strike
Should give us a few laughs with the spelling on the placards.
We already knew he was a vile and unprincipled man; this adds little to our understanding.
Can someone please explain WHY we are paying some Libyan 2 million quid when it was the Labour party that had him sent off to Libya?
Shouldn’t the bill go to that grinning gormless idiot Red Ed to pay out of Labour party funds?
I thought the chinese were in charge in Hong Kong at that time. Can’t they pay a bit?
Well the two people directly responsible were straw and bliar . Suspect bliar could have paid this out without distressing his burgeoning bank balance.
Since Bliar was such a great mate of Gaddafi’s shouldn’t he be rendered back to Tripoli now? I’m sure there are one or two folk out that way who might wish to have a word in his shell-like….
Miliband should call for a judge led inquiry.
So why did no one tell the queen today that the banking crisis was started by that one eyed idiot that used to come and see her once a week?
Quite simple, because he didn’t.
But he did, he allowed the banks to get away with reckless lending, he borrowed too much, ran up a huge deficit and hid billions of pounds of debt through the PFI schemes.
Oh and he flogged off most of our gold at shit prices.
Don’t forget gordon’s Piece De Resistance ‘Light Touch Regulation’!!!
That was about the first thing he did after the election.
Odious individual, like the debt he left.
no the first thing he did was hit the pensions industry full on.
No, I think Moussa Koussa’s pet meerkat was pointing out that Snotty McMental didn’t see the Queen every week.
The first few times he went round, the curtains were closed and there was no-one at home (but there were some strange giggling noises he could hear faintly through the glass). After that, he didn’t bother. He just stayed in his office, borrowing money like a nutter.
No, I think Moussa Koussa’s pet meerkat was pointing out that Snotty McMental didn’t see the Queen every week.
The first few times he went round, the curtains were closed and there was no-one at home (but there were some strange giggling noises he could hear faintly through the window). After that, he didn’t bother. He just stayed in his office, borrowing money like a nutter.
I’m not sure Gordon knew what was going on. More likely it was Ballsie.
That’s right! He never even came to see me once! The bastard!
Trying to follow in the footsteps of his ancestor John Brown (Queen Vics manservant).
Instead, he turned out to be a madman and self-proclaimed Saviour, more like a quite different John Brown.
Let’s hope he ends up the same way.
http://historiek.net/images/stories/media/john-brown-executie-560.jpg
They didn’t need to tell her that. She knew that already. Why else do you think she never invited him to Prince William and Kate’s wedding?
I wanted to be sexually adventurous.
Stupidly used a moral compass, never got there.
Ah your moral compass is real unlike gordon’s which was imaginary.
Clifford boasts:
“I realise I could have had all kinds of sexually transmitted diseases but luckily I never have” No thoughts for welfare of your partners then, what a thoroughly despicable and amoral person. How many young girls did you really give the clap or worse to Mr penicillin?.
I read Clifford’s autobiography when it came out.
It didn’t endear me to him.
Sally Bercow is considerably going up in my esteem by the minute ! Lets hope that she puts McAlpine well and truly between a Rock and a Hard Place…….He would have done much better to slink away and play martyr.
Good for her ! I anticipate many hours of entertainment over this one !
A Cock and a large Plaice.
Well done Lord McAlpine. Sue the bitch !
plus lots
take the b!tch to the cleaners! … assuming she knows what a cleaners is and doesnt just have a little polish woman round twice a week to ‘do’ her undies.
‘do’ here refers to “disinfecting” or indeed “decontaminating”
Wagon train making it’s way down the M62 to 96.98 percent white Merseyside from Bradford.
Maybe they are making their way to Liverpool airport or the Cruise ship terminal, hope they don’t stay long in Liverpool, parking charges will cost you an arm and three legs.
Rolf Harris had three legs but lost one when he did two little boys.
Viva Ward Bond.
Good for him.
What adolescent didn”t or more likely didn’t want to?
What a po-faced bowdlerising society we are becoming when such stuff gets dragged up generations later.
Don’t you have some real scandals to object to Guido?
How about the ENTIRE BBC deliberately lying for years to justify being totalitarian fascist propagandists?
Does any informed and honest person, following 28gate. now even suggest there is any beeboid in their management or “news” divisions who isn’t 1,000 more corrupt than Savile ever was?
Is it even possible for an honest and informed person to claim that?
Fracking OMG
Drilling for oil is emptying the North Sea.
Got my insurance claim in already, the barely detectable 000.5 on the Richter scale collapsed my house.
Last week the media were very quick to identify Max Clifford and Stuart Hall who were both helping Plod with his inquiries into Jimmy Savile & Co.
Two others were also giving their ‘help’, a man in his sixties and a man in his eighties. Why have no names been given for these two? Has the press been nobbled?
I want to know which union leader has allegedly been harassing a woman colleague?
Does Angie from EE know ?
seems strange why the names haven’t appeared.. the ’80s man is not such a mystery but the other 60s still seems to be alluding the general public’s ear.
God it’s cold here, I’m going on a cruise.
Do a fly cruise. You do NOT want to be sailing over the Bay of Biscay in winter!!
Vomit and Cruise ?
I think I will fly.!
http://fxbites.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/what-frack.html
Looks like Sally Ber Cow will be loosing a staggering number of pounds for Christmas!
Ding dong merrily on high.
too much theatre in the public eye.
.
change 999 to 110.
it is calming
You bitch.
Jack Straw, soon to star as the Rendition Man. Wonder if he will take Blair down with him?
bliar is saving himself to become the next President of the EU. Hopefully by then the UK will have jumped from the sinking EU ship.
Bliar should be watched carefully, and not allowed anywhere near the Euromongs.
Isn’t it amazing – the EU has three presidents, and we weren’t allowed to vote for any of them.
And all the leaders of both main political parties (plus 8th-place LimpDumbs) think this is great.
Isn’t it amazing – the EU has three presidents, and we weren’t allowed to vote for any of them.
And all the leaders of both main political parties (plus 8th-place LimpDumps) think this is great.
Karma Jack babe.
Not many people going to be on your side, so get that depression in the news again to fool m’lud. imho you’re a total wanker.
Take Blair down with him? Don’t be daft – that would involve a certain degree of courage. Not something that runs in the Straw family’s DNA.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/916179.stm
Sexually adventurous my arse! Smacks a bit of Jay, Inbetweeners.
“I swear down dead I did lads. Had the girldfriend’s Mam and everything. Yeah, whilst her old fella was next door. Yeah, yeah. And then two at once I swear.”
Away, fuck off Maxy lad and get us another round in.
seen Inbetweeners USA yet?
Horrific
It’s shit, they can’t even say fuck.
i.e. Max had a quick Jodrell over his Dad’s copy of Penthouse.
Do we believe anything Mr Clifford says about anything? I think, on the whole, not.
What a dirty disgusting dog Max is.
For £2.2m I’d like to be renditioned.
Someone should have thrown a bucket of water over him, to cool is ardour. Never understood blokes that can’t keep their tackle in their trousers – it’s an illness.
Can you say Sociopath? I think so.
Male nymph more like. Sociopath is a secondary symptom, as like the rate of visits per year to the pox clinic.
Basically Max has played Simon Says with his cliental portfolios all his life
Needless to say I had the last laugh
Did we really want to know about Clifford’s extracurricular activities?
I think not!