December 12th, 2012

SpAd Put Through the Mill-er

Accusations from the Tories that the Telegraph coordinated their Maria Miller expenses story to coincide with the gay marriage announcement yesterday went down very badly over at Buckingham Palace Road. Still smarting, they have thrown the ‘rules’ out of the window and published rather embarrassing communications between Miller’s people and the paper in the run up to the story coming out:

“The Telegraph has decided to disclose details of the private conversations amid widespread concern about the potential dangers of politicians being given a role in overseeing the regulation of the press. When a reporter approached Mrs Miller’s office last Thursday, her special adviser, Joanna Hindley, pointed out that the Editor of The Telegraph was involved in meetings with the Prime Minister and the Culture Secretary over implementing the recommendations made by Lord Justice Leveson.

“Maria has obviously been having quite a lot of editors’ meetings around Leveson at the moment. So I am just going to kind of flag up that connection for you to think about,” said Miss Hindley. Miss Hindley also said the reporter should discuss the issue with “people a little higher up your organisation”.”

Not the best way to try to fight a negative story and particularly chilling in light of the fact Ofcom answers to the Culture Secretary – the exact chain of command that would control Leveson’s state backed press regulator. Eyebrows were raised about levels of experience after the Adam Smith mess at Culture when Miller hired Hindley back in September. She had been at Prince Charles’ Foundation as head of comms after a relatively junior role in the CCHQ press office. A pretty awkward situation…


  1. 1
    Call me Dave says:

    I would like to use this widely read blog as a platform to announce how I intend to kickstart the economy. I will use a two pronged approach both being massive infra-structure projects …

    1. I will build hundreds of churches around the UK, called Church of Englund. These will cater to the hoards of Gay marriage requests. This will be pink pound positive in its third year.

    2. We will also build very impressive British embassies in all the major cities around the UK. This will employ hundreds of builders, not to mention untold numbers of pilgrims and box tickers when they are complete.

    I think you can see what I am trying to do to help the average man in the street. Remember we are all in this together, and on that you have my cast iron guarantee.

  2. 2
    Bluebottle says:

    You cannot get in trouble for telling the truth.

    You could be killed though but that would be murder .

  3. 3
    Lost in Clacton says:

    Will all these new churches pay rates ?

  4. 4
    Myra says:

    leave my little sister alone…..or else..

  5. 5
    Call me Dave says:

    Look do you expect me to have detail FFS? I was just handed this by my handler what do I know.

  6. 6
    CCHQ Press Officer says:

    Where’s my post? I tried to put it up and a message said it had to be moderated (God knows why).

  7. 7
    nellnewman says:

    ‘I am just going to flag up that connection for you to think about’ thinly veiled threat. And then I see the potty mouthed tom watson is at it as well with his threat to Guido ‘You’re going to f hhmm g regret that’

    These MP’s really do get above themselves. What happened to the days when they were regarded as public servants?

  8. 8
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Let’s face it, the state’s probably 5-6 times bigger than it was a century ago and we, mankind, aren’t 5-6 times cleverer or more honest. What do you expect with a couple of nice inexperienced lads like Dave and George in charge of a business 50 times the size of BP or Amazon and probably 100 times as sprawling and complex. It’d be the same with the two Eds, or whoever.

  9. 9
    Fuck Cameron says:

    Well you have me lost over this one Guido. WTF are you waffling on about?

    On a more serious note it is now obvious Dave is running the country as if the country were London and the center of the world.

  10. 10
    Steve Miliband says:

    Who gives a fuck really

  11. 11
    Kebab Time says:


  12. 12
    Gay Dave. says:

    I would like to announce to the world that England is open for homosexual weddings.

  13. 13
    JACK REACHER isn't a DWARF says:

    cap lock !
    “People close to Miller point out that her arrangements have been cleared twice as being wholly proper,”

  14. 14
    Margaret Hodge MP says:

    It has just come to the attention of myself and my Committee that churches up and down the country have not been paying council taxes for as long as there have been records .

    This flagrant contempt for the well being of the people cannot be tolerated. It is obscene and immoral for some of the largest landowners in the country to pay no annual land taxes whatsoever .

    I estimate that over the years the State has been defrauded of twenty six trillion pounds.

    I am very angry about this.

  15. 15
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    If it helps to pay off the national debt.

  16. 16
    Scientology Security says:

    If you think you are being followed and people are taking your photo. You are right.

  17. 17
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    It’s all got rather messy between the press/media and the politicians. Revenge or stupidity?

  18. 18
    Spank Sinatra says:

    This has more than a whiff of the “Don’t you know who I am?” all over it and puts into sharp relief her role / impartiality when it comes to ensuring that the press has an absolute right to go to print on stories no matter how politically embarassing they may be…..

    Well done The Telegraph!

  19. 19
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    Margaret Hodge is hoping her tax avoidance issue will just go away. It won’t.

  20. 20
    Fred West Paving Ltd. says:

    That was when they served the public. Rather than their own ego, fame, and wealth. Subhuman scum

  21. 21
    nellnewman says:


  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    This is why ministers need to be whiter than white. If she feel compromised she should resign as ministers and MPs are only there to serve the public and not to serve them selves.

    If minister or MP wants to make money then they should leave parliament and find a job.

  23. 23
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    Ah but if it was the two Eds what would we get to know.

  24. 24
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    The BBC News is currently bashing Heathrow and flight delays. Same old boring BBC.

  25. 25
    Steve Miliband says:

    Can people a little higher up your organisation do the next post?

  26. 26
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    It works both ways.

  27. 27
    Henry Brubaker says:

    Lol, ‘Jack Reacher isn’t a Dwarf’

    Those where pretty much my exact thoughts when I saw the trailers. Cannot possibly watch that little shortarse play that role.

  28. 28
    Someone higher up the organisation says:


  29. 29
    Anonymous says:

    “So I am just going to kind of flag up that connection for you to think about”; sound like a threat. I thing special adviser should be sacked.

  30. 30
    bergen says:

    Much as I despair of the thought of Edmil as PM, it is now utterly clear that the Tories will lose, and. worse, deserve to lose.

  31. 31
    Jack Newhouse says:

    Exactly, no hate figures, sex or explosions, this story is a fucking disaster.

  32. 32
    Someone higher up the organisation says:

    Keep your evil thoughts off this blog.

  33. 33
    well who would have guessed says:

    MPs are there to serve themselves, the public are only needed at voting time, the the rest of the time they get in the way and ask questions that MPs don’t want to answer as it might upset their masters or the company that has bought them, just for their intelligent business knowledge you understand.

  34. 34
    Edddd Brrbrralls says:

    No-ooo wunder miiiiii shishhhh kebbbab wazzz cold.

  35. 35
    Susanna says:

    Damian Green has been got it. He has gone all pro EU.

    This Tory “Government” – & I use that in its loosest context, never seem to fail to disappoint.

    Vote UKIP

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    If Maria Miller wants an expensive house in London she should work and buy it.

  37. 37
    Snotrocket says:

    And Eddie Mair, asking Mrs Miller on PM last evening, how gay marriage is to be deemed ‘consummated’, for the purposes of the law where marriages have grounds for annulment – was priceless!

  38. 38
    Nom Dom Nom 2 says:

    Is she handing out North Face Holdalls as Christmas gifts, as a veiled threat?

  39. 39
    Centre Parting says:

    Clifford v Burrell – how the hell do we decide between those two?

  40. 40
    God says:

    I’ll get you for this

  41. 41
    Margaret Hodge says:

    They should have put all their assets in a trust like me and pay nothing.

  42. 42
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. Apparently, in the Ministry of Culture, an Orwellian title if ever there was one, the threat of violence is the first refuge of the totally clueless.

  43. 43
    Living in 97.3 percent white Wirral says:

    My posts yesterday just didn’t register. I changed my user name or moniker or whatever and all was fine. Why?

  44. 44
    Tom Watson says:

    You’re going to f**king regret that

  45. 45
    Hugh Janus says:

    It’s really quite simple, FC – this inept minister and her inept spad saw fit to threaten the DT. For all normal human beings with an ounce of honour, this would be a resignation issue – or even a sacking if One Term Dave had any balls. However, none of the above applies when we are talking about the current bunch of arrogant, conceited and out-of-touch politicians currently infesting the H of C.

    So here you have it – and full marks to the DT for exposing this spectacular own goal.

  46. 46
    Time to Act. says:

    Is there any Tory M.P. who has enough spirit and and determination to resign from the Conservative Party and join UKIP over the same Sex Marriage issue?

    Come on guys, just one of you to start with. You will be amazed at the support you will get, including from Labour supporters of the traditional family in your constituency.

  47. 47
    Simon Cowull says:

    My Rock

  48. 48
    Nullbymouth2 says:


  49. 49
    Tom Watson says:

    I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

    culture…. ..anti marriage.
    media….. anti investigative freedom.
    sport…….. anti be a good sport and behave.

    if the Queen’s christmas message has been recorded then there may be a statement on all these subjects.

    in the meantime, the scary new BoE man states, let bygones not be bygones.
    in other news imagine if the nurse was going to be told that the royal connection with the hospital were to break…

    are we reaching a climax as we approach the 21st…will our awareness dramatically change soon after that. will a new way of living become possible then?

  51. 51
    Meanwhile says:

    The number of people out of work fell by 82,000 between August and October, to 2.51 million, official figures have shown.

    Total pay was up 1.8% compared with the same period last year.

    Fuck you Balls, and you still wanna give the sick, lame & lazy bastards 3%plus……..

  52. 52
    Bill Cash says:

    I’m very tempted indeed.

  53. 53
    10 to base, he regular says:

    Sorry mate just coming round the corner. Your kebab will be here in 2 minutes

  54. 54
    The public says:

    But not for us. She is not trustworthy enough

  55. 55
    The public says:

    If Ministers have twats like that workin for them then they shoulldn’t have special advisers at all. They are clearly a waste of money as well as being active subverters of the constitution.

  56. 56
    Nom Dom Nom 2 says:

    Not sure but it seems to be a common issue. You have to change your moniker by just one character an it works again, until it doesn’t and you have to change again.

  57. 57
    The public says:

    Agreed. Just another reason why they need to get what is coming to them.

  58. 58
    Tom Lardarse says:

    You’re gonna fucking regret that GOM!

  59. 59
    Thomas says:

    Well done DT.

    Is it just the SPaD who must go?

  60. 60
    Crispin Blunt says:

    So, how many of you righties secretly bang rentboys behind your wives backs? Come on, we all know how many of you are latent homeboys.

  61. 61
    Nom Dom Nom 2 says:

    Its called projection.

  62. 62
    Thomas says:

    There aren’t any jobs!

    That’s why they go into politics.

  63. 63
    Call me Dave says:

    An old lady just came arched back slowly past me to the bus stop, “I have trouble with my joints in this weather,” she complained.

    “I know what you’re saying,” I replied tapping my frozen spliff on the bus shelter.”

  64. 64
    restore the monasteries says:

    Apparently we are ,according to the Census,much more educated,
    apparently there are many more of us,apparently we are deep in debt and
    living beyond our means.I wonder why?

    Jacta est alea……….The die is cast.!!

  65. 65
    The public says:

    The relationship is supposed to be messy, especially when our politicians try to steal from us.

  66. 66
    Loopy Lou says:

    So unemployment is falling yet GDP is in decline .

    A very strange way to run a country.

  67. 67
    Nom Dom Nom 2 says:

    As you are a bed wetter you probably don’t understand so here –

  68. 68
    Hugh Janus says:

    Yes, it was, and it seems that a gay marriage cannot be annulled in the absence of consumation. On the other hand, it sounded to me like just another minister floundering around and making it up on the hoof. Par for the course these days, she’s obviously been taking lessons from Dead End Dave.

  69. 69
    The public says:

    Presumably their London based staff daren’t risk the train to Salford because of the wrong sort of frost.

  70. 70
    Nurse says:

    If we all put our fingers in our ears and say ‘la la la la la’, maybe Dave and Nick will just go away by magic

  71. 71
    Westminster Gossip says:

    Well done The Daily Telegraph for exposing this sordid little mess and the disgraceful way Miller’s people tried to gag the story. What a loathsome creature the politician and their aides is!

    The Telegraph exposed the corrupt gravy train that was and is the MPs’ closed shop expenses claims process…

  72. 72
    Crispin Blunt says:

    That’s what Pastor Ted Haggard, good wholesome christian family man, creationist and personal pal of George W Bush, also said.

    And then he was found to have been fucking a rentboy for 4 years and taking amphetamines with him. :-D

  73. 73
    Hugh Janus says:

    Not ‘try to’ but actually did, on almost the same monumental scale that the EU stole our sovereignty.

  74. 74
    Handycock Immigrant Trafficker says:

    And most of the jobs are part time agency work for the public sector, below minimum wage. See immigration does work and is good for the economy. Boaz.

  75. 75
    Hugh Janus says:

    In much the same way that I was hoping Hodge the Dodge might go away – or be sacked – when her own tax position became known. Fat chance.

  76. 76
    The public aren't stupid every time says:

    They don’t even have the gumption to sack an incompetent leader. They are cowards who are going to leave the hard work to the public, like at the last election when we crafted the numbers that came up with a coalition instead of Labour.

  77. 77
    The public aren't stupid every time says:

    The grey economy is expanding to deal with the drop in demand in the legitimate economy caused by the punitive levels of VAT and other taxes.

  78. 78
    Pop Psychologist says:

    Doesn’t mean it wasn’t projection. Just shows that paster whatshisface was also a phoney. Many religious leaders are.

  79. 79
    Public Transport says:

    The bus shelters have all been stolen by the Romanian scrap metal thieves in my part of town.

  80. 80
    The Public says:

    Yes, credit where credit is due. Thanks very much Telegraph. it is good to know that some parts of the media are still reporting real news that has relevance.

  81. 81
    Anonymous says:

    The worse mistake this country made was to vote for Blair. Even I voted for Blair in 1997. From Blair there was a massive leap in mismanagement of this country. Everything comes out is spin no minister takes any responsibility.

    I am not a fan of Mrs T or Major either.

  82. 82
    Abolish SPADs and save us money says:


    Incredible that all these SPADs spend millions of man/woman hours intellectually masturbating with the medja….who are equally clueless (while going down the tubes in the case of the Dead Tree Press)

    Abolish the little buggers

    Ministers should concentrate on the job in hand

    And give a press conference once a month to report to the people (all medja included) on the progress (if any!) they are making

    When and if sanity returns to the British Government and Press that will be rhe end of these sordid little stories…

  83. 83
    The public says:

    I stand corrected. It is hard to get out of the habit of a lifetime and hope that there is one honest person left in our parliament. Still, one has to come to terms with inconvenient truths and adapt to the times.

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    How many “graduates” are chasing each job for which they are “qualified” for?

  85. 85
    The public says:

    I agree. SPADs are utterly worthless and thier employment just shows that their minister is not worth their own pay either. Sack the lot of them.

  86. 86
    The Church of England Militant says:

    Not in our establishments matey…the Government lawyers discovered that Canon Law takes precedence in these matters and that to change it you would require majorities at Synod in the Houses of Bishops, Clergy and Laity and as the House of Laity voted down women Bishops there was no chance on that so thus such marriages had to be made illegal in Church of England(and Wales)establishments.

  87. 87
    Gordon Bilderberger says:

    Well said Handy. My economic policies have been vindicated. Without this mass immigration implemented by my government and a few self interested supporters like your self, the NHS and local government would have closed down or taxes would have doubled, and public sector pensions can still be paid. The only thing that didn’t work is that they didn’t vote for us, but they did for you, how did your boys fix that?

  88. 88
    T. P. Fuller says:

    I’m more worried about 12:12:12.12 GMT today.

  89. 89
    Crispin Blunt says:

    The error you’re making is in assuming that I have a problem with being gay. I don’t. It’s those who shout the loudest. Ted Haggard did protest a bit too much.

  90. 90
    T. P. Fuller says:

    No good expecting your post this time of year, what with all these students and tinted temps working out of Mount Pleasant.

  91. 91
    Tory Grass Roots says:

    Nothing is certain in politics they say but this is absolutely certain as it can ever be.

  92. 92
    T. P. Fuller says:

    As the actor said to the bishop.

  93. 93
    Tory Grass Roots says:

    Election 5 May 2015……..Cameron out 6 May 2015

  94. 94
    Labour started the economic mess and the Tories are finisihing it says:

    Not to mention that we have some of most educated part-time shelf stackers in the World. You now need to have at least a degree at 2.1 level to get an interview for such prestigous positions in retail

  95. 95
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    Truism of the Day.

    Google’s tax avoidance is called ‘capitalism’, says chairman Eric Schmidt.

  96. 96
    T. P. Fuller says:

    Crispin, I take it you know nothing about Miranda Blair and her cottaging episode or the Imbecile’s rocking-horse photos. The HoC is overrun with nutters and perverts of every political stripe, as indeed is the country at large.

  97. 97
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    Do you see a fat bastard when you look in the mirror?

  98. 98
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    …masturbating…job in hand…

  99. 99
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    I haven’t got a degree nor even one ‘O’ level,’ in fact I have no educational qualifications whatsoever and I’m an MP, so there is hope for everyone. Boaz.

  100. 100
    nemo says:

    Tom Watson, bigger than God…..probably

  101. 101
    At least that will solve the problem of Christmas presents this year says:

    I thought it was 21 December that we had to worry about ?

  102. 102
    Nom Dom Nom 2 says:

    Fuck if I had known you were Gay I would have ignored you.

  103. 103
    Snake Oil tends to cling to the clothes says:

    I never voted for Bliar…it was obvious to me from the start that he was a “huckster” and Brown was incompetent

  104. 104
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    Give that man ( another ) prize.

  105. 105
    Immortal says:

    I have lived through 25 “End of the Worlds”.

  106. 106
    Angus Tickler says:

    She and Miller are threatening the press with regulation before it even exists!

  107. 107
    Facts that government ministers won't tell you says:

    On average a graduate can apply for approx 1000 jobs over 2 years before getting a job…of those applications less than 3% get a reply and of those only 45% result in an interview

  108. 108
    In circumference YES says:

  109. 109
    Wibbly wobbly Dave says:

    I will deal with this in my own time. I will be open and decisive just as I have been with all other issues which have come my way.

  110. 110
    Greasy spoon caff owner says:

    Sorry Tom the full English with extra lard is off this morning.

  111. 111
    Tom Watson breakfast addict says:

    You’re going to fucking regret that!

  112. 112
    Unemployment or rather not says:

    As a matter of interest a colleague has been made redundant and leaves on Friday. She starts her new job on Monday. People were queueing up to employ her.

  113. 113
    Historian of our times says:

    But who wil be pulling the strings behind Empty Edd?

    That is the question….

    I assume the same hedgies, crooked bankers, private equity and PFI rip off merchants and dodgy PR spivs as under Blair and Brown…

  114. 114
    Shocked of Sheen says:

    Showbiz for ugly people…

  115. 115
    Universal Hiss says:

    Dear old Dave. It will be illegal to marry gays in the C of E faith. Of course the gays can always trot off to the Quakers who seem quite keen.Not sure about mosques though.Might be a bit risky.

    Total cock-up or maybe not.

  116. 116
    Tom Watson's Brighton fun says:

    That’s the point. Under Labour it all gets covered up until they are booted out and only then you realise how neck deep in the shite we all are. If they had their way with their socialist utopia they’d ensure they were never booted out ..ever.

  117. 117
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    So all those highly qualified people should do as my sons have, emigrate to a country that needs graduates and earn what they’re worth rather than sit around on benefits and whinge. There’s fuck-all left for strivers in the UK.

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    She did. She had the house before entering Parliament.

  119. 119
    Len McCluskey says:

    I will.

  120. 120
    Bob Crow says:

    Don’t forget me.

  121. 121
    Eccles says:

    “I have a bit of paper what has the time writted on it”

  122. 122
    Sungei Patani says:

    She did. She had the house before entering Parliament.

  123. 123
    Look away now says:

    In many peasant cultures, it was considered good form to display the bloodied bed-sheets from the wedding night, as proof that the virgin had been deflowered and the marriage consummated. (Probably still do, in the more enlightened parts of Romania.)
    What will then pass as proof in the case of Gay Dave’s kapok-cruncher scenarios ?
    Mind-bleach, please.

  124. 124
    BBC ignorant pigs says:

    Stupid fuckers. It’s foggy and the distance between aircraft is therefore increased.

  125. 125
    Hugh Janus says:

    Repeat 100 times after me: “The British politician is a nest-lining, troughing incompetent who lies through his/her teeth and tries to take us all for fools.”

    You are now forgiven.

  126. 126
    Crispin Blunt says:

    Don’t say that, ducky. By the law of probabilities, one of your relatives or friends is gay. Maybe you yourself are struggling with your identity.

  127. 127
    Hugh Janus says:

    My thoughts too when I saw the piece in the DT this morning. This was his conversion on the road from Downing Street. Presumably they Photoshopped out the bruises.

  128. 128
    Barnstormer says:

    You mean they’ll just vanish with a poof?

  129. 129
    Hugh Janus says:

    Particularly when it comes to £15k of public money paid to his daughter to rent her empty flat when his son was living in another of his London flats rent free. Still, it was all within the rules, so that’s alright then.

  130. 130
    Living in 97.3 percent white Wirral says:


  131. 131
    Chris "pants" Bryant says:

    Someone call?

  132. 132
    Living in 97.3 percent white Wirral says:

    Good old Ed!

  133. 133
    dick dastardardly mp says:

    A person is guilty of blackmail if with a view to gain for himself or another or with intent to cause loss to another, he makes an unwarranted demand with menaces and for this purpose a demand is unwarranted unless the person making it does so in the belief;

    a) that he has reasonable grounds for making the demand and
    b) that the use of the menaces is a proper means of reinforcing the demand.

    This looks like a clear cut case . Telegraph should report it to the Met fro investigation

  134. 134
    dick dastardardly mp says:

    Is Maria the female version of Tim Nice But Dim?

  135. 135
    dick dastardardly mp says:

    I also see that video of a recent Cabinet Strategy Away Day Meeting has emerged

  136. 136
    Loopy Lou LLB (Hons) says:

    The Bribery Act .

    Perverting the course of Justice.

    Theft Act.

    Assault/demanding by menaces.

    A nice little Christmas essay for this years undergraduates perhaps.

  137. 137
    Casual Observer says:

    Perhaps this was a ‘prank’ call.

  138. 138
    The BBC causes severe mental illness says:

    One may suggest they want the planes landing closer together in foggy conditions, increasing the probability of a serious accident, so they can get a news story which will distract from the current buffet they are conspicuously avoiding.

  139. 139
    ONS Release says:

    2% of population is gay – you have a higher probability of having a psychopath in the family.

  140. 140
    Casual Observer says:

    Or perhaps some recommended Christmas reading for SPaDs.

  141. 141
    Anonymous says:


    Just plonk it all on the desk of a CPS Prosecutor if we are all still here 22 December.

    A prosecution or two here for a young whipper snapper wanting to make a mark.

  142. 142
    Trevor Phillips says:


  143. 143
    Mr BumBum says:

    Where do you stand on synagogues?

  144. 144
    Mr BumBum says:

    My cock

  145. 145
    Mr BumBum says:

    Cash by name …

  146. 146
    Keith Vazjazzled says:

    Queenie is too busy burning William’s clothes and rope from the day he strangled that nurse.

  147. 147
    Mr BumBum says:

    I’d have married you – with Big Butch Dave as my best “man”.

  148. 148
    Mr BumBum says:

    But the good news is that there’s another 300,000 on their way.

  149. 149
    Mr BumBum says:

    The Foreign Office is very, very committed to a regular supply of SPAD’s.

    They go through them quickly.

  150. 150
    Mr BumBum says:

    Any dame (past or present) from Eton can tell you how the boys like to mark this event.

  151. 151
    Taxfodder says:

    Sadly for the Telegraph and perhaps tellingly this story about the MP fiddlers (yes you Ms Miller) has disabled comment on the subject…

    I have noticed this with the Telegraph they are very selective about allowing reader comment as to when and when not.

    So…not that confident eh?

  152. 152
    dick dastardardly mp says:

    They are worried about readers calling it as they see it ie that the Minister has no clothes. Such a sight might then cost the Telegraph 5% of its male readers over say 75 and clog up A&Es and morgues across the contry

  153. 153
    Tiny Tom says:

    Maria I’ve just met a girl called Maria and suddenly I’m £70,000 down…how on earth did that happen

  154. 154
    My Excellency Curly von Camden says:

    Listen numbnuts, we build British embassies in other people’s countries. That’s a place called “abroad”. In return they build theirs in our country.

    So, if you are sending all our workers overseas to build more embassies, can you please cancel the silly toy railway to Birmingham as we don’t really want or need that either.

    By the way, we won’t need these embassies anyway for much longer as your mates in Brussels seem to be taking over all their normal functions.

  155. 155
    Curly von Camden says:

    “Let bygones not be bygones” is code for goldbergsocks inc saying “We want our money back”. You have been warned. No good will come of his appointment.

  156. 156
    Clare Deloon says:

    Yet another Minister too small for her (ethical) briefs?

  157. 157
    Clare Deloon says:

    Dunno about that. Seems to me half the vicars I see chuntering away on the box Ducky are as kw eer as a box of frogs?

    *That’s the jumpy type, not our cousins from Calais.

  158. 158
    Clare Deloon says:

    Great books.

    Like Alan Ladd had to (and Sarkyboots as I recall) he’ll have to stand on an orange box to look the villains in the eye.

  159. 159
    Clare Deloon says:

    Marge, isn’t there a Silent Order somewhere (like Shutyertrappists) who might take you in?

  160. 160
    Clare Deloon says:

    Have you been ‘tipped off’ ??

  161. 161
    Fairy Nough says:

    Just a tiny tiny tiny sprinkle of fairy dust…

  162. 162
    Bugsy says:

    The Ministry of Culture is where they grow all the little amoebas these days.

  163. 163
    Bugsy says:

    Much more educated than what? The chimps in London zoo?

  164. 164
    Bugsy says:

    The paper will also doubtless get the bill for the Spad’s time.

  165. 165
    Bugsy says:

    Indeedy! And get rid of all these qangos and return responsibility where it belongs – with the minister and not some anonymous bureaucrats on far too high a salary.

  166. 166
    Smoot says:

    I also suffered that yesterday. I’ll just flag that up for you to think about.

  167. 167
    Clare Deloon says:

    Yes, capitalising on thick (usually left wing) Ministers and dim ill-educated civil servants who can’t produce a very simple tax code which everybody can understand and apply.

  168. 168
    Clare Deloon says:

    Looks like it is time for the real knives to come out.

    Get the popcorn in, this is going to be interesting.

  169. 169
    Clare Deloon says:

    Did the previous government not change this Law to read “darker-hued mail”?

  170. 170
    A Pendant for stocking ma'am? says:

    … along with a small supply of apostrophes for 2013?

  171. 171
    Film buff who can't recall the name of the film says:

    Oh, I thought they called the wind “Maria”.

  172. 172
    Tiny Tom says:

    No you are thinking of a fart…..although you could br right

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