Guido’s Column in the Daily Star Sunday
Questions answered in this week’s Guido column:
Who did @Tom_Watson warn “You’re going to f***king regret that” and why?- Which Labour MP is trying to erase his criminal record?
- Who is most likely to replace Balls as Shadow Chancellor?
- Euan Blair is conveniently close to a safe Labour seat that has become available.
- How was Sally disappointed on her tenth wedding anniversary night?
All answered in your 90p Daily Star Sunday…















I never miss Guido’s column.
Or Nelson’s column
2 days 11 hrs and 30 mins too 12/12/12/ you reed it hear first..
that is just a bunch of nonosense
nonosense makes sense if it comes in bunches
Ifyou want an interesting read, Google, “Birth of Christ recalculated” fascinating read.
we’re doomed, ah tell ye, doomed!
…furthermore, have you heard the story of the old, empty, barn? O-O
Which Labour MP is trying to erase his criminal record?
Guido a guy has the numbers of the previous parliament of MPs behaviour and it makes interesting reading.
8 MPs done for assault 81 incapable of having a credit card due to “fraud” matters x done for passing bad cheques.
Euan Blair being done for drunk and disorderly would be in good company.
There’s stacks no doubt, from all corners of the House, even in the geriatric ward of Westminster.
The first thing they get advised to say to an officer when they get pulled up/caught with their pants down/etc. is “do YOU know who I am?”. Well, that is what they say always.
A good column this week Guido.
I hope the baying mob are now happy that the prank DJs have been put on suicide watch, wonder who they going to blame this time?
Maybe the ones that sent abuse and threats to them? oh the irony!
If they couldn’t stand the heat…………………………
Irony from an iron, now that IS irony.
The view of the Court is that they need to be publicly castigated and dragged threw the streets on a hurdle to Tyburn(now Marble Arch) alongside CEOs for Starbucks, Google and Amazon ….whilst hypocritical politicians sit on the front row doing their knitting cheering on the mob……….
Can we also have witch finder general Margaret Hodge to oversee these proceedings ?
Not Amazon. I spend alot of time spending my benefits and compo on there.
sunday times states:
hospital protocol. do not put call through to the ward if it vame in via the hospital’s advertised switchboard telephone number. take a message and pass it to the ward instead. this is to deal with hoax,s
given the high profile nature of the clients.
was the nurse expecting a genuine call as she was told to expect it?
if the issue of paedophilia and royalty is beheind this then it is easy to see how nurse would be could ……tricked.
How do we know it isn’t a prank suicide watch. Only one way to find out. Let’s ring up their psychiatrists.
Well there is only one way to find out…….. FIGHT
We all know how to sort that out then
It’s a great pity Brand and Ross didn’t do the decent thing…
Anyone who seriously thinks the two Aussie DJ’s intended the nurses untimely death are wrong. They will be going through hell at the moment.
Before schadenfreud:
It has been reported that the nurse had been “inconsolable and distraught” since the hoax. She described herself as being a ‘very nervous person’. So perhaps not 100% stable, and maybe should not have been left alone after the incident. It is not clear though what help she sought if any. She was found in hospital accommodation – despite the hospital denials, the hospital is not out of the frame here.
She was married with two children.
Police are treating the death as: ‘unexplained’
This implies there was no suicide note left, and in the absence of post mortem the cause of death is currently not known. She was unconscious when discovered.
Probably best to wait for the coroners report before settling on what happened to the nurse, and this cannot be linked back to the Aussie DJ’s even though they will be feeling a burden of guilt.
Note: According to reports, when her husband contacted her family back in India, he apparently did not mention suicide as being cause of death. Likely because that has not been established yet. Her family did state that suicide reports they had heard of in the media did not sound in character for their daughter.
a bit of calmness and focus on the facts.
no one knows anything.
look at the big picture.
for sure the aussies are not in the frame, they are just kids.
should the nurse be highly nervous or highly confident.
the lady appeared to thrive in her job though so must have felt protected.
On protected – yes indeed. That she was found early in the morning also suggests that her colleagues were keeping an eye.
The investigation may prove illuminating – at present though the current picture does not add up – and certainly the prejudicial blame apportioning and conclusions are not smart.
This sort of thing has happened before recently, in Portugal if one recalls.
In decent times when a trick was played at someone’s expense they were given an option to refuse it being used for the entertainment of others.
Now it seems that the media, like the BBC, will use anyone’s mistake as source of ridicule. It seems all individual’s in this country are free and fair game for any entertainment based profit. The fault was the Hospitals and the Royal security. After our recent encounter with Royal security they are incompetent.
The simple fact that it was reported and the person identified more than once by the BBC was harassment.
It does not matter how she died, or if the next person lives, it will always be harassment at the expense of the trusting innocent.
What stupid comments,they probably went to her room when she didnt turn up for work which would be a normal thing to do.Dont start letting the Ozzie oiks of the hook, can you imagine how you would feel if you made a blunder (confidentility is taken v seriously in Hospitals)and had it replayed continuously on national radio? quite honestly Guido and the BBC havent covered themselves in glory either.
Ach! Suicide watch!?! They couldn’t give a kangaroos knackers mate. Rubbish.
What they feel bad about should is taking in an indian national who wouldm’t know a brummie accent from a glasgie one. Anyway, what was a qualified nurse doing working the switchboard in the first place? Used to work in a hospital for a couple of years and there was always trained telephonists on the switchboard, 24 hours seven days a week.
Nadines on telly, better get the violins out, she’s telling a really sad story, as usual about herself.
Sad story? Wah wah wah, those boys are ghastly, wah wah wah, why haven’t they promoted me, wah wah wah, my unskilled daughter only bags £50k for doing fuck all etc etc ad infinitum. She’s the Diane Fatbott of the Tory party – blethering drivel masquerading as some kind of affiliation to some spurious ‘roots’.
If she is so popular with the public why was she voted out first at the earliest opportunity?
Eric Pickles doesn’t know how to set the redial on his phone properly
facts…
why did the prank callers think that they could not believe that the call was put through?
question…why was the call put through?
it is the hospital’s policy that calls were not to put through to the ward if they come in on the hospital,s publically advertised telephone number?
the hospital is a seasoned operator.
what is going on?
in the world of paedophilia, misdirection is the keyword.
please also remember the phrase poverty of imagination.
the ex BBC DG stated that he did not know about Jimmy Sovile and he blamed it on his poverty of imagination.
when you have few layers of misdirection, anything is possible.
No regular phone switchboard at night, all incoming calls transferred to night co-ordinator (nurse) perhaps?
night.time is ofcourse the time when one needs to be extra vigilant.
the hospital is used by royals.
how secure are the royals?
security requires secrecy…….?
jimmy sovile was kinda open .
so beyond secrecy is the world of mind games…where the truth is hidden .
or should one say…..adjacent to secrecy is the world of mind games. hide ‘n seek.
A lot of telephone systems have a night service where one or more telephones will ring first – perhaps in the security office. But if there is no one there (which will often be the case at night) then the system will automatically ring various other selected phones – probably all the manned locations that will not disturb patients. She could have thought the call had been transferred through to the position where she was and so already validated.
Quite a possibly a simple mistake with tragic consequencies.
The DJs seemed to have been surprised to be transferred through, they could have put the phone down and still had a mildly amusing thing to play to the morons listening to the station without doing any damage.
I listened to the apology from the owner / manager of the station this morning. It was like a politician’s apology and never actually apologised for what they had done, just expressed regret for the death. He seems much more concerned about his DJs.
Quite a possibly a simple mistake.
best not to speculate.
when we don,t know we don,t know,
this is no ordinary hospital, now is it?
The DJs seemed to have been surprised to be transferred through, they could have put the phone down and still had a mildly amusing thing to play to the morons listening to the station without doing any damage.
well impulse control and boundaries are not specific to kids.
it is a global phenomena. we do not know who were the ppl behind the dj,s nudging them on.
if i sneeze in the uk and there is a hurricane in bermuda is it my fault?
the trigger was in the australia but who pulled it and who enabled it.
The DJ’s got the number off the net apparently.
It may have been direct to the ward: There was no call transfer once dialed, and from the recording you can determine the number dialed as the tones are clearly audible.
MIS.direction.
MI5.direction.
The number 5 is dynamic, energetic, unpredictable. extremely independent, unpredictable …. change is an absolute necessity but is surprisingly loyal.
MB has the right of it.
the world is well what the world is.
the russian president has talked about aliens in our midst and that the public would panic if they knew the numbers.
never ever ignore the utterings of anyone with that level of profile. the truth is hidden in the throwaway remarks.
but why?
Her sad story this morning was as sad as the sad story from Mr Balls and his speech impediment..the impediment that played not part at all in him fucking up his response to the Autumn Statement. That was due to speech incompetence
What the press failed to report is that Balls has recently undergone radical new surgery to swap his colon and oesophagus. This new treatment is primarily to save him having to stand up when he wishes to speak.
If that is an accurate quote, it seems that the vile Watson doesn’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”.
But then, the sane amongst us have always known that he’s an ignorant lout.
It’s a pity one can’t withdraw posts sometimes. My ad blocker prevents the picture on the page from being seen, but instead puts up the text caption for it. So my quote read incorrectly. My apologies.
Of course Watson is still an ignorant lout, that bit is perfectly valid.
I see camaron is banging on about gay marriage again, the economy is going down the drain,he has left us defenceless,immigration is out of control and going to get worse and this phuckwits flagship policy is gay marriage. Now tell me that he is not a liebour suppoter
I told you, the Tory party is riddled with ‘em.
I do like a good riddle
He’s certainly a PR man…..he knows full well that he cannot guarantee in the legislation that the legislation will exempt certain faiths from having to hold gay marriages if passed into law.The European Court of Human Rights will strike down the clause in the legislation on the first case that is referred to it
Someone has to hide the amount that Osborne is borrowing and what better PR stunt than giving PR people their “gay marriage” even though it is not wanted by the non-Maxcliffords in the UK.
The economy is not going down the drain. It is already in the drain. What is happening is that it is slithering sideways.
“When the items or elements or units of a group are similar in nature it is known as homogeneous, which means having the same type of basic qualities or properties. The opposite of homogeneous is heterogeneous”.
Is it any surprise that following a coalition result that all parties end up the same touting for votes, with the exception of Greens and UKIP who have a snowballs’s chance in hades of getting a mandate?
Although it would be better to any wavering voter to be confronted by a party spokesman just advocating his crystal clear red, blue or orange / yellow characteristics avoiding the flexibility of double-speak every politician is forced to speak with a forked tongue. Jumping on bandwagons and avoiding preconceived party extremes has become the norm to be seen as all things to all men.
In my day we chased the ruling classes out of town, got to watch the mayor on the next London bound expedition. Practice for march Dartford, meet in pub if wet
First thing we do…….
Guilty as charged. There is a lot that we are not being told about ‘the gay paradism’.
or even the paradigm.
But I would contend that if there is information that meant that homosexuality was a mental aberration it would get suppressed. Actually I do think I have already heard this, peripherally of course.
The nurse had forged her qualifications.
If she had forged nursing qualifications she must have had help from someone within the hospital. the nursing qualifications are so easy to check
Lots of things are eazy but few are competant
Baroness Scotland knows all about employing illegal immigrants.
‘Dame’ Baroness Scotland, please.
http://archipelago-of-truth.blog.co.uk/2009/10/12/the-sacred-military-constantinian-order-of-saint-george-7151373/
Purrp
most dangerous are half truths.
the nurse was tricked….if someone was to write a novel think of the word .mis direction.
dark.
This story is degenerating by the hour .
always focus on the facts,
the rest is colour. colour enriches.
there is such a thing as decolouring.
be scientific.
Any copper of minor policing intelligence would know that the DJ’s cannot be ‘fitted up’ for the Nurses death – but that doesn’t stop the msm onslaught.
If ["if" is a little but powerful word] say one of the DJ’s went on to commit suicide – wouldn’t the blame lie fairly and squarely on the Press pack of Hounds for their hounding of them?
It’s Ludicrous, It’s preposterous – It’s a conspiracy theory:-
If I ran a private hospital and all of a sudden there was a public relations issue of huge embarrassment; the management to save face; would have to go into ‘meltdown’ talks. Perhaps a scapegoat could be found to face off the embarrassment to the business, thus protecting the directors and the business? umm that’s sounds plausible – Off the record directors chat “so who can we stick the blame on? – well let’s see ahh got it! Who picked the phone up? – yeah they’ll … do right. So who can we get to have a friendly chat with her / discipline her ye know wot I mean? Dodgy that one; have to be very careful with all that. We gotta save face here guys this is serious for our reputation … right back on the record then” put out some caring caring statements ….. [To be continued or not]
If I commit suicide, the world would be distraught.
Why not accept full responsiblity and have the person responsible top himself ?
Why not accept full responsiblity and make the person responsible top himself ?
lady di…..e
david keeeeeelllllllllllllll. uuuuu
if we are to talk about triggers what about trigger words.
It started when a bird who shall remain nameless sang in Berkeley Square.
As Gail,s husband said ‘ I think I will have a early ‘night in Gail.
Did someone call my name
You will all of course recall that Trigger really did get stuffed – and last I heard was still on display in the Roy Rogers museum place (wherever that is located).
So, what we need to know here is who is the taxi-der-mist
Bircham Dyson Bell.
I hope that female DJ Mel Greig doesn’t top herself. I wouldn’t mind a soapy tit wank from her. Then she can top herself.
You are all heart. In this selfish world we live it’s good that a ray of sunshine, like you, bursts through.
I take that back. I wouldn’t mind a blowjob off her, shooting my load all over her oiled tits. And then she can top herself.
can u film and post it?
I knew you would see reason.
The Daily Star?
Classy.
Ooooh, get her!
Guido’s a proper journalist now.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
The left bang on how immigration enriches us all the time, Here is aspect of immigration thatnnthey are trying to hush up.
http://biased-bbc.com/2012/12/tb-or-not-tb-just-dont-ask-the-cause.html
Nothing to see here. Move along.
And AIDS…
Has anyone seen my ‘Willy’?
Four nice marrows you’ve got there, Mrs Hague.
He is trying to tell other countries how to conduct themselves.
They are ignoring the obnoxious little cnut.
There you are Darling, now put that nice man from the Olympics down and please come home.
I know I know…tried to tell them how to sell their oil. Shhh….
Eyup, wotchit ah,ve wukked i, barnsley yer du,nt freeten me.
This bloody stupid been trying to post a link from biased bbc that points out that the authorities are covering up that TB is back in this country after being wiped out and it is being brought in by imm a grunts
Tony Blair?
I have not been wiped out, I am masterminding the world.
Haven’t you got a cottage to go to ?
Look up both TB and Whooping Cough (Pertussis) on Wiki and look at the worldwide infection map.
Then draw your own conclusions as to why the MSM and the ‘authorities’ are covering them up.
You righties who claim to be libertarian are nothing of the sort. Hate gays as much as you like but what does it concern you who people choose to sleep with or whether they want to marry? There’s nothing sacred about marriage. It was originally invented as a financial contract to enable a woman to leave the parental home in return for a financial settlement to her parents. Whether it’s a priority for legislation is another matter, but the vitriol over people who want to make a commitment to each other is bizarre.
Shouldn’t you be paying more taxes, as a Liebour supporter it’s your duty to fight for the guinea pig with the red rosette on, and pay more taxes to help the “poor” downtrodden millionaires Eddy and Eddy and expensive hangers on.
You assume I’m a Labour supporter. I’m neither left nor right. I hate Labour with a passion. I just happen to not be homophobic. I don’t care what consenting adults do. Besides, the idea that there are no gays in the Tory party is hilarious. I know of the annual private party held during conference season attended only by gay Tories.
You assume people who read this blog and comment on it are ‘righties’. Many are not.
Many are not right in the head.
that is the issue..
are we sufficiently right brained?
scientists claim that we only use 10% of the brain.
what the heck is the other 90% for?
in the world of mind control it is easier to control 10.
now imagine 10 to the power of 10. it may be impossible to control such vastness. one thousand million.
when we don,t know we don,t. open to the possibility if it opens the mind. but stay grounded as when we don,t know we don,t.
facts are facts. they are part of the truth but not its entirety.
No but a lot of them are ‘shities’
I don’t care what consenting adults do
Does that include homophiliacs behavior which would be called homophobia if non-homophiliacs were the perps?
Then why didn’t Labour do it? I think people have legitimate concerns over gay marriage and it’s not about who fucks whom but the promotion of homosexuality to be of equal value to that of heterosexual union. The main point, something which you seem to have missed is that it’s being promoted by a soon to be ex leader of the Conservative Party when no one gives a buggery. Even Tatchell thinks it’s largely drivel. Labour never touched it because they couldn’t give a stuff. So what Cameron is doing is dividing the CoE and the lay people who volunteer there for a wedge issue only detrimental to the Tories. Do you not see that this is an internal party issue where sure, the Leadership will win but will have the legacy of losing the next election. Labour must be laughing their tits off. Sure, some of the language (here) is a bit rum but that’s because you’re looking behind the curtains of somewhere you’d probably never find yourself. I doubt anyone gives a monkeys about gays but it really shouldn’t have been promoted by the bloody Tory PM. He, Sir, is an idiot. He’s like that Egyptian Morsi chap, a rank bloody amateur playing with things he has no knowledge of. Fuck him, he’s just handed Miliband the next election by alienating conservatives who tend to be of the opinion – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
I reckon he’s doing this because he knows he’s sunk, he knows Osborne won’t recover, he knows Lansley’s grenade has resonated; so when someone asks him in 20 years, ‘oh, weren’t you prime minister for a bit, what the fuck did you achieve?’ He can say gay marriage. He’s on a legacy mission because he’s seen the polling. Piss all over good people just so he validate his sorry arse premiership on daytime TeeVee. Yeah, he’s as deep as a puddle. Gay marriage – it’s not even on the radar. That’s the gripe.
Well said, Sir.
will this mean I have to marry a gay then?
Same as me Ducky
That horse has bolted
AND a day later you saw him get his closest or most convenient senior colleagues out to support the notion. The man is desperate and HATES the most unfortunate in society.
Interesting to note that with the passing of a childhood hero, Patrick Moore, he is reported as being of the UKIP party as he was in Europe after the 2nd World War and hated the prospect of a politically combined Europe.
Strange to see that Angela has got further than Adolph in the German quest for much the same ideal.
Me thinks there could be some bigger stuff in the background – what with all those unresolved Coulson / Ginger criminal charges and conflicts of intere.sting?
Murdoch don’t do things by half and he always has at least a dozen scapegoats below him who ‘will’ take the fall – whether they want to or not.
Think about this seriously, you wouldn’t be here if most of us didn’t have an obsession with whom they choose to fuck. Otherwise you end up with dysgenesis.
With every passing day, society in the West is becoming ever more feminised. This is resulting in a falling birth rate in the indiginous peoples of the West. And they are being substituted with Asian and African immigrants at an ever increasing rate.
The west is failing to create and is being substituted by their own state… Sounds exactly like the economy where comparative advantage is being replaced by debt. On this as well, we lose they gain.
“You’re going to f**king regret that…”
Oh yeah, like that really narrows it down– just about anyone who deals with Fat Bastard is going to come to regret it sooner or later.
But if he had said, “You’re going to regret f**king that,” we’d probably figure he was quoting something somebody had told his ex…
Chris Huhne is innocent and not guilty .
Victoria Price is innocent and not guilty.
Rebecka Brooks is innocent and not guilty
Charlie Brooks is innocent and not guilty.
Freddie Star is innocent and not guilty .
Andy Coulson is innocent and not guilty.
David Travis is innocent and not guilty.
Stuart Hall is innocent and not guilty.
Maxwell Clifford is innocent and not guilty.
We are all innocent and not guilty .
mind you they’ll have to pay a shedload each to the lawyers to ‘procure’ their ‘innocence’!!! Fees all round then.
People are free to represent themselves if they think everything is a lawyer conspiracy for fees.
http://marvinlindsay.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451b54369e201538e2a0ca5970b-800wi
I am so pleased to see how ethnically diverse Ed Milliband’s family Christmas card is.
Don’t you mean how genetically diverse?
In his family’s case it’s the same thing.
I suck Guido’s column every day.
I always voted against gay rights. And then I was outed. Funny, that.
The Argies are making life difficult for British citizens in the Falklands so I am going to stick my finger up my own arsehole and do nothing .
Speaking of axxxholes pal, unless you are totally pig ignorant, you would realise that that the days of a token force in the Falklands with no backup in sight is long gone.
The Argies are experiencing groundhog day having yet again fxxked up their economy and any attempt at a galtieriesque military adventure to bolster the flagging morale of the electorate is liable to wind up in a total fxxking disaster.
So it is on the agenda then is it ?
Our economy is fxxked up too and how long before we embark on another military adventure to make our flagging morale even worse. Syria? Iran? Libya again?
Mali, for Sand’s sake.
I see Hill Clintoris is drumming up a “Dodgy Dossier” on Chemical Weapons. I hope we let Barack HUSSEIN Obanana sent his own troops and Aircraft along with Crappos and the Dutch (Oh ha ha ha) to do the fighting and let Wet Willy keep our forces out of another bloody war.
Police are investigating claims against 25 celebrities of alleged sex offences in connection with the Jimmy Savile inquiry.
At least six of the high-profile figures are expected to be arrested this month and in the new year.
The 25, reportedly mostly television and radio entertainers, are named in a list of tip-offs to Operation Yewtree – the police inquiry set up after late Top Of The Pops presenter Savile was exposed as a serial abuser.
Merry Christmas
We never asked if they were underage
Just banged them all against the wall gave them some dope and laughed
God it was as fun and carefree
When girls are sixteen and all that
That is why we are against ID cards BTW
I think the quality of life would improve greatly it the whole of current Showbizz was locked up
The whole fucking lot of them
They are crappy nowadays anyway
I like Bonnie Tyler.
I could do a turn for that Tom Jones .
How about arresting them all as long as they are not Welsh .
I used to have quite a thing about Victor Emmanuel until they banned the Black and White Minstrels .
But we was White
Just cross dressed a bit
Very fashionable nowadays
Go into any gay bar in Soho … full of Labour MPs trying to be wimmin…
Whoever it is in the police force who keeps giving these ‘tip-offs’ should be sacked.
You must admit that for an honest news organisation that believes in transparency and getting to the truth
We did a superb cover up job of our criminal activities for 40 years
As good as the KGB in their heyday…
Almost as good as the Murdoch Mob…
“You know what”. How come this phrase has reached plague proportions on the TV and radio?
What about
… aspirations …
…robust measures …
… grow the business …
… leadership …
‘Hard working families’, is a favourite of ours.
Or you can have
This moment in time, always said by union leaders
Lessons have been learnt, said by MP’s, schools and the NHS
Or ‘Households and Businesses’ Lovely ring to it, that one.
Must never be allowed to happen again.
Our thoughts and prayers are with his/her/their family/friends/colleagues
I am an insincere thieving lying politician/grossly overpaid public sector manager
Isn’t it time you ‘moved on’?
we need a new word…….MIS.direction.
Going forward
You know what, I’ll tell you what, I have no idea why such a phrase has reached such proportion. Maybe people have been smoking too much you know what, know what I mean?
“Know what I mean”.
Erm I think it is all down to me you know .
Nope! It was Frank Bruno who always said “Know what I mean, ‘arry?” It is his catchphrase, his and his alone, invariably used when chatting to boxing corespondent, the late Mr Carpenter.
INNIT!
‘may’ in stead of ‘might’, ‘may have’ instead of ‘might have’, active tense instead of passive tense… I could go on for half an hour, but I won’t bore you with my particular linguistic moans
I believe I may have been the first to come up with the formulation “Mistakes were made.” Of course, it all depends on what “may” may mean.
Now can we move on, and get about doing the work the people have sent us here to do?
NLP suggestion – kind of a smash’n'grab approach to implanting an idea or notion.
It implies that the speaker is not imparting fact, and you will likely subconsciously agree with whatever is said next as to disagree would be to admit you are ignorant of something.
Switch off and ignore when you hear that.
The classic double-speak of mantra word mangling for the new century must go the Donald Rums you know who I mean…
There are known knowns that we know and there are knowns that we don’t know …. well y’all know the garbled known knowns thingy – you know what I must dig out the actual words.
Good hunting. It is always the unknown unknowns that fk everything up.
So that DJ is on suicide watch.
Let us hope they are both in Pentonville .
Let’s get one thing clear here. The prank played on the nurse was not nice and was stupid but it would have rested there.
What escalated this to beyond a prank was the BBC repeatedly playing her words on all their News bulletins on all their radio and TV channels and implying that she must be fucking stupid to have fallen for it.
Implying stupidity on someone’s part, which, of course, they would NEVER do if, should they ever deign to do so, they discuss UKIP polling results.
Do you think we will be able to get the BBC all into Pentonville together with those two Dingos ?
Especially Richard Bacon who apparently thought that the whole jolly jape was a hoot.
That was just us talking
The private hospital has fallen victim to a hoax call in which one of the Australian DJs did a poor impression of the Queen; another pretended to be Prince Charles.
And for good measure, someone else yapped in the background like one of the monarch’s corgis.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-20610197
I’m back, I’m back, you better believe it .
( Milliband .D )
Would you like some ice cream with that banana?
Thats refreshing
The trouble with you Polly is that no-one believes you.
Not even a tiny, tiny, tiny little bit?
Just a tiny, tiny, tiny bit…
You have a credibility problem Polly
Imagine waking up next to THAT.
I’m never late for work!
Any chance of a pic of you in yer undies?
I love bathing boys.
I worked in a factory for 3 days
God they smelt
http://www.theweek.co.uk/26243/toynbee-great-comic-figure-our-age
This is the article wikipedia uses to confirm it was in Tuscany. Perhaps Polly would like to clear the matter up?
When Littlejohn skewered her on Question Time about her not exactly fretting about the environmental impact of her jetting to-and-fro from her Tuscan villa, I don’t recall her denying it.
She could have shut him up right there and then, but did not for some reason…
Why did that stoopid nurse off herself? Oops, waz that insensitive? *innocent face* I bet the coalition had her killd! *conspiracy theory* Me and John send condol’s 2 her fam. *sad face* I hope her husband will be ok. I’ll help any way I can. *opens legs bends over dustbin*
Bruce: G’day Sally, fancy a fuck?
Sally: sorry cobber I hardly know you…
Bruce: Well d’ya mind lying down while I have one?
Chrissake! Your legs stretch wider than Sydney Harbour Bridge.
Please stop talking about me like that.
G’day mate! I’m well sorry for pranking that nurse sheila! We’re not too bright here down under! We’re all either crooks or crap soap actors, mate!
I told that 9 year old “Let’s play It’s a Knobout”.
i’m on suicide watch
It a New BBC gamse show, I call up old men ,a buse them and broadcast their suicide via hidden camera
Its hilarious!
Watch next mnday and keep paying your tax or I will have you sent to prison
Great idea for the show for you Jonafon. We could send a member of the audience up in a crane and get him to jump out believing he’s got a bungie cord tied to him.
Here’s the laugh mate. We remove the cord and don’t tell him…
What do you think mate?
What is important is, is what is important is.
Never heard of him.
I have.
I signed a pact with him…in blood.
His flute was magic
Time to come home, Miranda, the mofettes are missing you.
Morsi is in the shit .
No, the West is in the shit.
I’m into shit, does that count?
You ably demonstrate my point. We frown greatly on your types and we certainly don’t let them attain positions of power.
Brothers should remain just that…brothers!
Don’t forget who funds you…
Its the Saudis not the cia that’s funding the current “revolutions/ethnic cleansing”
Think it’s time to get a tattoo…
Yeah ‘I’m a C*NT backwards on yer forehead’
How about an Rfid chip for his kids?
8 finger job … I..A..M..A……C..U..N..T
pls don,t encourage.
8 is an expansive number.
RIP Sir Patrick Moore. Expect to see the p*edo rumours in about three months.
Allegations about Patrick Moore being a p*edo already circling. “He just loved looking at Uranus” one victim said in police interview
He always was fond of little pussies.
And I am unanimous in this.
He was also into red dwarfs
“After a short spell in hospital last week, it was determined that no further treatment would benefit him, and he was placed on the Sussex death pathway”
I will now adopt this as my new flagship police,as a tribute to sir Patrick Moore.
In an interview with Radio Times, he provocatively asserted that the BBC was being “ruined by women”, commenting that: “The trouble is that the BBC now is run by women and it shows: soap operas, cooking, quizzes, kitchen-sink plays. You wouldn’t have had that in the golden days.” In response, a BBC spokeswoman described Moore as being one of TV’s best-loved figures and remarked that his “forthright” views were “what we all love about him”.[68] In his June 2002 appearance on Room 101 he banished female news readers into Room 101.]
BBC News showed a film of him playing the piano and xylophone with the dialogue “He never married” – which was always (and for all I know maybe still is) the way of the obit writers hinting that he was a puff pastry.
Very sad, but he lived his life to the full and contributed greatly to the development of an enthusiasm for science amongst the Brits for 55 years
The last real science broadcaster on the once great BBC.
And had no time for left wingers.
I’m not dead yet!
Don’t knock brown love till you’ve tried it. There’s nothing like being in a tight hole or getting your end pipe serviced.
Don’t you just love how the BBC can be so ‘selective’?
Peter Bone on the BBC gave the hack interviewing him a good going over when BBC type suggested that an ‘overwhelming majority of the public’ supported gay marriage.
Bone replied that according to that we should also have capital punishment back as well. BBC type didn’t seem to like that comment.
BBC love to pick and choose public opinion when it suits them.
I wonder do they support forcing churches to marry and bless things they dont approve of. I dont care for making the1 to 2% of the population who are gayers override the wishes of the 20% who are regular god botherers.
20%?!!!!?? You must be joking.
… and get out of the blaster EU commiespiracy.
*blasteD
Anal sex is natural. You know why? In predictive text on a mobile, the same keys for cock are also used for anal.
Why does my Nokia’s keypad smell of poo ?
You can all go and fuck off.
http://www.economist.com/news/leaders/21567939-even-miserable-standards-peace-process-israels-proposed-new-settlements-are
http://www.economist.com/news/leaders/21567939-even-miserable-standards-peace-process-israels-proposed-new-settlements-are
Samantha hates it when I start flirting in pubs.
Especially when it’s with other men.
Sam Cam has had a lucky escape. The surgeon who delivered her last sprog has been retired, not only from Treliske hospital but from the medical register. Turns out he was dangerous and incompetent all the staff knew it but it is almost impossible to sack a doctor in an NHS hospital, so much so that they promoted him before suspending him several times. He had only been back at work a few days after one of his regular suspensions when they let him loose on sam’s fanny.
Maybe they were trying to do the country a favour by cutting down on the numbers of Carwrong offspring
They have already “offed” one so far
Just another of the miracles from having a state/union run producer captured treatment rationing system.
People should research into the old “Hippocratic Oath” that Doctors ‘used to take’ about ethics – it seems that it has been quietly pulled … for some or other reasons.
So, they no longer wear ethical knickers then!
I warned you Dave
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/08/22/lord-ashcroft-poll-on-gay-marriage_n_1820817.html
We admire David Cameron for his stand on Gay marriage but still think he’s a c*nt and his party eat babies.
Payment for staff and research of £40,679.51 as Chairman of the World Economic Forum Policy Coordination Group. (Registered 27 November 2012)
Airfare, transport and accommodation in Beijing, China, also paid for me and my staff; £12,032.38. (Registered 27 November 2012)
http://tinyurl.com/brcqj3r
Ken Dodd?
It’s no wonder he never shows up to the HoC he’s far too busy for such trivial things like that, the extra little bit of income is probably handy though.
“Chairman of the World Economic Forum Policy Coordination Group. (Registered 27 November 2012)”.
and I am Humpty Dumpty executive in chief of free air miles (registered 09 December 2012).
.. and it will not have escaped your attention that somebody on here a day or two ago mentioned that the next World Islamic Economic Forum is to be held in….. LONDON…
…. and all at Brit taxpayers’ expense of course. Now whose idea was that then?
PS: Rule 4: No pooofs allowed.
The Penis
http://www.economist.com/news/books-and-arts/21567330-anatomy-seminal-work-cross-bare?spc=scode&spv=xm&ah=9d7f7ab945510a56fa6d37c30b6f1709
The problem with penises, as Richard Rudgley, a British anthropologist, admitted on a television programme some years ago, is that once you start noticing them, you “tend to see willies pretty much everywhere”. They are manifest in skyscrapers, depicted in art and loom large in literature. They pop up on the walls of schoolyards across the world, and on the walls of temples both modern and ancient.
Clearly the penis mightier than etc….
I am not interested in iPads
I am giving strap ons to all my wimmin MPs
And a badger spotting guide (thanks to the BBC) to my “male” MPs
Before they go and get married in Saint Pauls
is badger spotting censored here?
No, but your final word always invites suspicion.
Who else thinks Starbucks are making a mocha-ry of tax?
And they are always Latte’ with their company returns
But there are no ‘grounds’ for suspicion.
They pay the right amount of tax as theyre headquartered in americano
Chill ,you are so obsessive .
Boris and Michael are my heroes.
When my elderly mother was seriously ill in hospital I couldn’t get any information on her condition by phone. I was told I had to come in personally to be updatedWhen I said what if I lived 200 miles away the answer was TOUGH.
Not my experience in similar situation, quite happy to give details as long as you state that you are a close relative, which is as it should be.
Shouldhave saved yourself the journey and knwn her condition
Dying of starvation whilst lying on a piss soaked bed as fat arsed nurses and useless Drs sat about eating chocolates and takeaways
A couple of years ago The Best (PBUHJ) was in A&E on a drip, I was so p£££££d off I had to remove my own cannulure and just left the place
I know enough about those fuckers to know that you are best seen to by a servoces medic or yourself if you have an injury
Stay away from hospitals
My dad was in hospital for a supposedly essential ‘medication review’. He had all his mental marbles and, as he never took so much as an aspirin normally, asked to be given only the essential drugs for his heart condition. The hopeless uncaring biddies on the ward gave him sedatives and sleeping pills as they did to every single person in the ward. They turned him sick, groggy and miserable all next day. When I found out, I complained. ‘Old people get confused’ was the unconcerned reply. I went round each of the ward myself saying my dad could sleep on a concrete garage floor. DO NOT GIVE HIM SEDATIVES or sleeping pills. They LIED to him about what the medication was that he was to take the next day; he tried to get up to go to the loo and ended up black and bruised all down one side. (I later found out that it is convenient for ward staff to have elderly patients passive, confused and groggy most of the time.) When I took it up with the consultant he apologised, and was not a bit surprised. He advised me to take my father home… and I did.
Comrades, you might be due a tax rebate on your union fees over the years. Let us save you the trouble of bending down and picking up a telephone handset to call your local tax office by putting you in touch with a tax rebate company who will do it all for you instead. You’ll be helping us to fill our coffers here at UNISON when they pay their advertising fee to us and when they have raked off their 49 pence in the pound fee, you’ll get back some of the money that rightfully belonged to you in the first place.
Excellent take on the Jimmy Saville case, without the usual UK chattering class bullshit:
http://www.steynonline.com/5298/the-court-predator
Mark Steyn: the best rightie commentator ever! Regular contributor to the Tel and Speccer before those sinister fuckers the Barclay brothers took over!
And hilarious with it!
Breaking news!
Noel Edmonds has been arrested for having sex with girls who were not capable of being on the blobby
Keith Chegwin also guilty
Michael “bend over in that hot tub” Barrymore
Chris Evans well known molestor
Stephen Fry
It seems that it is compulsory to be a kiddie fiddler to get a job at the BBC
And we pay for this depravity (Well I opted out)
Ricky Gervais well known Bi
Jonathan Ross known for molesting young women
The list is endless
Even Morcambe and Wise were bedmates
What a sewer
At least Michael Parkinson was/is a proper man (from Yorkshire) and loves a bit of fanny
Anybody that walks around in shirts like Noel Edmonds wears should immediately set alarm bells ringing.
Or with a beard!
Just look at William Hague and Gordon Brown
Or just people.
What about that Ian Krankie, he lived with a schoolboy for years
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Noel_Edmonds
LOL.
all lies
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Keith_Chegwin
With the benefit of hindsight Kid Jensen is now regretting his choice of nickname
I’d be mortified if I caught the Bouquet at a gay wedding
You mean you’d go to one????
Never heard of that one, but wear a condom and you should be ok.
What has happened to Mr Fawkes’ campaign to abolish Palace Of Westminster food and booze subsidies?
Mel Greig has magnificent norks.
Questions not answered in this week’s Guido column:
Why?
“Who did @Tom_Watson warn “You’re going to f***king regret that” and why?”
Everyone. Election Night. Is the last one a trick question?
Suicide watch my arse! Surely nothing in the Star can be believed. Not worth 9p for this drivel!
Is there still a super injunction over Euan Blair and that Swiss Cottage business ??
Miranda! Miranda! if daddy can do it can’t I?
Who is most likely to
replace Balls as
Shadow Chancellor?
Not that arsewipe The Vet Cooper?
I assume he means Gideon.
Alastair Darling? Gordon Brown? They have plenty of miles left in their tanks. They did a sound job in no. 11.
DUCK!!!
Euan Blair? How time flies. Last I heard of him is when he had a go at street pavement art – quite abstract it was, but a good effort.
http://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/coventry-news/2012/09/25/tony-blair-s-son-is-working-at-coventry-firm-92746-31901868/
… as in here,
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/822238.stm
Year 2000 now sounds, ahem!, years ago now. Bilmey, 2013 ey, God willing….