December 7th, 2012

iLebedev: Evgeny Buys Entire Standard Staff iPads

Tidings of great joy over at the Standard this afternoon after Evgeny announced is rewarding his troops by giving each one an iPad, apparently to celebrate  their new return to profit, Olympic success and general greatness. Guido’s eyes and ears over at High Street Ken says “people are actually really happy!” Meanwhile downstairs at the Indy…


51 Comments

  1. 1
    Steve Miliband says:

    Indy to get eye pads

  2. 2
    Steve Miliband says:

    The Scotsman to get Aye Pads

  3. 3
    Ken Livingstone says:

    You don’t find me on High Streets, only High Horses.

  4. 4
    Maqboul says:

    What an exceedingly nice Oligarch.

  5. 5
    Maqboul says:

    The Mirror to get footpads.

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    Has he got a white pussy?

  7. 7
    Gordon Brown says:

    I tried that wheeze by promising lap tops for all school kids.

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    The Grauniad to get jDaps

  9. 9
    Ginger the tom cat says:

    Every child of school age should be issued with an iPad .

    They can all then receive interactive lessons in their own bedrooms .

    No need for ultra expensive new build taxpayer funded buildings.

  10. 10
    reports from the rear says:

    is an iPad code for INCONTINENCE PAD?

  11. 11
    STROPPYCOW says:

    That pic of him scares the shit out of me – iPad or not.

  12. 12
    Dave"The One Term Prime Minister" Cameron says:

    BREAKING NEWS FROM “THE BUNKER”

    I am doing my utmost to ensure that Labour get returned in 2015 with a thumping majority.

    See here

    UK manufacturing output registered a surprisingly sharp fall in October, resurrecting fears of recession.

    Output fell by 1.3% from September, the Office for National Statistics said, with food and drink output, notably beer, down following the Olympics.

    It was the worst fall since June, when activity was depressed by extra public holidays for the Diamond Jubilee.

    It also adds to evidence that the UK economy may be relapsing into recession after a short rebound over the summer.

  13. 13
  14. 14
    Plato says:

    He looks like a 19th century plantation owner down south.

  15. 15
    Heating,eating,fags or beer? says:

    If they had been on benefits they would have got an ipad years ago

  16. 16
    Denis McShame says:

    I gave them to all my staff

  17. 17
    Sane Computer Man says:

    Oh dear, another person who is mug enough to buy overpriced Apple kit.

  18. 18
    Lebedev says:

    I have bought these from the money I expect to get from selling The Independent.
    I still think in roubles, can anyone remind me how many Ipads I can get for £1?

  19. 19
    Roscoe Rules says:

    The bloke looks like a complete Count

  20. 20
    A Duck from Peking says:

    The Guardian staff have been given iOUs

  21. 21
    NE Frontiersman says:

    Is it a would-be Romanov look?

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    we seem to be moving backwards in time….

    the guardian reports that the new PPC may be set up by royal charter, like the BBC, to ensure separation from newspapers and politicians.

    what is a royal charter?
    who is it independant from? BBC is certainly not a good role model.

  23. 23
    Ed Balls says:

    I would like everyone to know that I was so ineffective in the Commons the other day because of my stammer and not because I’m a useless c*unt.

  24. 24
    Dave"The One Term Prime Minister" Cameron says:

    This is my flagship policy to lose the next General Election for the Tories.

    “Planned civil marriage legislation will allow churches to conduct same-sex weddings, Prime Minister,David Cameron says”

  25. 25
    T. P. Fuller says:

    Sanitary pads, more like.

  26. 26
    Wavy Davy says:

    And if that fails I’ve got plenty more surefire vote-losers up my sleeve.

  27. 27
    Maqboul says:

    What the fuck has this got to do with Eugene, you spamming get ?

  28. 28
    Maqboul says:

    I believe he has a bleached meerkat.

  29. 29
    Anonymous says:

    Guardian already have the iPad in droves. Pointless iCrap all round

  30. 30
    Dave"The One Term Prime Minister" Cameron says:

    I’ve now made the headlines,you bitches .Excuse me while I powder my nose.

    David Cameron ‘backs gay marriage in church’ BBC headlines

  31. 31
    No Talking In the Reading Room says:

    Is he a Quare? Looks like a quare, sounds like a quare and works in the media. So most likely a quare?

  32. 32
    The Mad Mullah says:

    Same sex marriages in Mosques ? Oy Vey !

    Cameron: “I’m a massive supporter of marriage and I don’t want gay people to be excluded from a great institution” http://itv.co/UJRVNX

  33. 33
    Uncle Monty says:

    Max Clifford is to get an iPaedo

  34. 34
    fashion police says:

    F**k me! That picture is actually the Russian person in charge of the Indy. I thought the proles shot people looking like that long ago:) Not that I would give the friendly lot in the Kremlin any ideas.

  35. 35
    captain Pedalo says:

    226,000 redundancy notices to teachers

  36. 36
    Ex-Conservative voter says:

    Surely they’ve pretty-much excluded themselves from a great institution when they took the decision to become fúdgep@ckers.

  37. 37
    XXXxx says:

    Are you giving all your in staff Guidoland an ipod, Guido

  38. 38
    XXXxx says:

    All the sending kids to private schools could stop, just think of the money saved, they could sell all the private schools off for building land

  39. 39
    XXXxx says:

    You would be very scared of Russian boyar if you were a Russian peasant, Evgeny would have grow his beard much bigger and thicker.

  40. 40
    Julian the Wonderhorse says:

    Don’t think he likes pussy

  41. 41
    Hank the Cat says:

    I bet peter mandlebum finds him a right honey

  42. 42
    Soapsuds says:

    Should he have bought washing machines to help launder the cash properly.

  43. 43
    Soapsuds says:

    What a spiffing wheeze! They don’t seem to teach much these days anyway.

  44. 44
    Soapsuds says:

    …and who picks its members?

  45. 45
    Soapsuds says:

    Quite right, you tell him!

    Eugene has just announced expensive gifts all round because his company has returned to (Look away now, filthy degenerate word to follow) profit. That would seem to indicate an upturn to me.

  46. 46
    Soapsuds says:

    Another straight kinda guy then?

  47. 47
    Soapsuds says:

    Well, if it is gay marriage, he can hardly “front” it, can he?

    Sent from my new iPad from behind the bike sheds

  48. 48
    D. Spair says:

    The time is rapidly approaching when Davey should be locked up in one of those “institutions”.

  49. 49
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    The taxpayer bought my iPad, mug. Boaz.

  50. 50
    Damned Impertinent Questions says:

    …and look what happened to Trotsky

  51. 51
    Anonymous says:

    What a ponce, no wonder the standard is nearly as left as the Indy/ guardian!


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