December 6th, 2012

Max Clifford Charity Dinner Cancelled

Monday’s black-tie evening with Max Clifford to raise as much money for the Help Numan Walk Appeal is cancelled. Over a fabulous four-course dinner Max was due to reveal the secrets of the rich and famous and then host a charity auction and raffle. Unfortunately he is instead being asked by detectives to reveal secrets…


  1. 1
    Moby Dick says:

    walk appeal?–wasnt a marathon then?

  2. 2
    Taxfodder says:

    I don’t miss the sex…only the agility!

    I hope i’m not asked who I shagged (or shagged me) in me teens over 65 years ago indeed these days I often find me self at the top of me stairs wondering why and what I climbed them for….so I don’t envy poor old Max trying to remember how old they were, no chance!

  3. 3
    Kebab Time says:

    Hopefully this will bring the whole house of cards down….

  4. 4
    Bertie Acorn says:

    What, the dinner being cancelled?

  5. 5
    STROPPYCOW says:

    Aww go on – spill….

  6. 6
    Jerry says:

    Hello, Newman

  7. 7
    Social Conscience says:

    Numan walk is concerned with a 5 year old lad who has Spastic Diplegic Cerebral Palsy. They are trying to raise GBP 60k to send him for treatment in St. Louis USA. They appear to have less than GBP 20k raised so far – probably worth a small tax deductable seeing as their main support has been arrested.

  8. 8
    Steve Miliband says:

    Exclusive; Max Clifford breakfast cancelled this morning

  9. 9
    Cliffords Maximus says:

    Without proof of age I would go with the old rule of thumb’If there’s grass on the wicket,it’s time for cricket’

  10. 10
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Not much sympathy for Max but it’s a shame the charity will suffer as a result.

  11. 11
    IMHO says:

    And what was the raffle prize going to be for ticket number12?.

  12. 12
    Hank the Cat says:

    Gordon Brown made me do it

  13. 13


  14. 14
    Maximum Imbecile C says:

    There is no business like show business

  15. 15
    kebabmon says:

    Why not combine the two? Chances are that most of the Met would have been attending the ‘black tie charidee’ do anyway. Not ‘arf!

  16. 16
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    True, being a smart arse and making lots of dosh makes him a target for many :)

    I hope the interview the ‘victim’ probably a 58years old granny with 4 kids and 10 grand-kids and as fat as she is tall, but it ruined her life :(

  17. 17
    GQ magasine says:

    Can we take over Max’s gig please Gudio?

    We always like having parties…

  18. 18
    Taxfodder says:

    Well I do vaguely remember stopping me car in a county passing place with a young girl for a bit of howsyerfather and getting stuck in the mud, and on asking her to give me a bit of a push for which she grumpily hopped out straight into a particularly muddy and fairly deep ditch….

    when she finally clambered out I gallantly made her sit in the back in an old blanket so as not to mess up me upholstery…

    she was 15 ish going on 34 and I was 17ish going on 13…..happy days.

  19. 19
    Tatler magasine features says:


    We are the rag for thr rich and famous

    We can bring one members of the fat cats club…

  20. 20
    Hank the Cat says:

    I suppose this means he will be on the BBC commenting on everything under sun. Now that he is one of the boys

  21. 21
    Harriet Harman says:

    In light of the fact that so many of our supporters both in and out of the Islamic community are getting nicked for having sex with underage girls,we think the answer is simple.
    Lower the age of consent.

  22. 22
    Lost in Clacton says:

    Merry Christmas P C Plod !

  23. 23
    Daily Star reporter says:

    Did you eat his gerbil then?

  24. 24
    Religion of Piss Spokesman says:

    What is all this about, was she like 4 or something?

  25. 25
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Lost in all this is that a poor little boy’s life can be made much better by an operation which, curiously, he apparently cannot receive in the UK (and why can’t he– but let’s not open up that can, shall we?), and he seeks to raise the money for it. C’mon, Max boy, shake some of your clients down for the dosh the kid needs, and forgo all the scoffing and boozing and bad jokes to be done at this fundraiser and cut to the chase! Or, Mr Fawkes, you can ask your readership to throw in the odd bob, too– wouldn’t kill anybody, especially this time of year!

  26. 26
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    Good idea for a new TV reality show ‘Who f*cked me?’

    Poor ‘victims’ of sexual abuse from 40-50 years ago walk on stage and the audience has to guess who fiddled, abused or f8cked these innocent old people.

    Multiple choice list of suspects.

  27. 27
    Grammar School Boy says:

    That’ll do for starters.

  28. 28

    Tenner donated.

    I was going to say that perhaps everyone who’s feeling some satisfaction at these arrests might throw a tenner in the pot in recompense, but mindful of innocent until proven guilty, and also the season of goodwill, perhaps that’s the wrong way to look at it. Instead, maybe think that through no fault of theirs a family that was hoping for some help for their lad from this event is now probably feeling very low – and maybe those of us who are more fortunate could make a small difference to that?

  29. 29
    David Starkey, Looks Good In Khaki says:

    Frankly, if the man’s fashion sense is anything to go by, he deserves a few months in chokey. To be fair, he did wear some nice khaki pants on the Louis Theroux documentary, but that nice touch was obscured by the horrible checked shirt he was sporting. And those glasses look like the ones I used to get on the NHS!

    Even that silly Bagshawe girl has better dress sense!

  30. 30
    bergen says:

    I can’t remember even the Back to Basics period being as bizarre as this.

  31. 31
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    54 now !!

  32. 32
    Hank the Cat says:

    He said he voted for the maximum imbecile and was proud of it.Will this be part of his defense

  33. 33

    MAYBE even anyone, mentioning no names, who is earning via traffic wrt these stories….

  34. 34
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    Back to Basics is what got ‘em into trouble.

  35. 35
    Perry Mason says:

    If Mr Clifford has been arrested then the Police should not be asking him to “reveal secrets”.

    If the Police arrest someone they must have some material which if true could lead to criminal charges and Mr Clifford should have been made aware of this .

    The precise material should be put to Mr Clifford for him to answer and then a decision will have to be made to charge release or bail pending further enquiries .

    It is bang out of order for the Police to arrest Mr Clifford and then lean on him to release secrets to them .

  36. 36
    Larry Grayson-Perry says:

    and his just desserts?

  37. 37
    Fatty Pang says:

    Aw shit there goes another free meal down the pan. Slurp slurp

  38. 38
    Mornington Crescent says:

    FFS, why cancel the evening? They could get Freddie Starr to do a skit and Stuart Hall to run the auction – they’d make double the target.

  39. 39
    Kate is fit and fine, nice to seeee says:

    IIIII aaaam a Beeee Beeee Ceeeee roooyaaal corespondent, aaand knoooow how to extend my voooooowels, in such caaaaases,

  40. 40
    Hank the Cat says:

    Sorry Perry if it is part of an ongoing investigation they can ask him and dig as much as they like

  41. 41
    Alexsandr says:

    Ive never understood this charity dinner crap. If people want to give to charity they just get out their cheque books and send a cheque. No need for baloon flights, trekking in Nepal or fancy gala evenings.

  42. 42
    Fiddy Kiddler says:

    I enjoyed the amuse-bush

  43. 43
    Those were crazy days man says:

    The baby boom generation sewed the wind of liberal ideology,now let them reap the fucking whirlwind.

  44. 44
    Stuart Hall says:

    Who wants to play It’s My Cockout?!

  45. 45
    YorkshireLad says:

    Bread and water in the cells then?

  46. 46
    Hank the Cat says:

    Charity Dinners, means lots of publicity, get your photo in the MSM and be seen around town. Has phuck all to do with the charity

  47. 47

    donate you tightwad c unts

  48. 48
    Social Conscience says:

    I would drink to that.

  49. 49
    NCCL says:

    Sign here

  50. 50
    Kate is fit and fine, nice to seeee says:

    it’s all for chhhhhaaaarity, after all,

    More port Vicar?

  51. 51
    Mr BumBum says:

    Someone’s feeling a bit sweaty.

  52. 52
    Robert Peston says:

    PLEASED to SEE I’M not the only one who TALKS like a C*NT on the BBC

  53. 53
    Gordon Brown says:

    I have cancelled my afternoon dump as their is already a floater in the chamber

  54. 54
    Raving Loon says:

    Bit of a bad PR move, isn’t it?

  55. 55
    Hank the Cat says:

    harriet I bet you and your wife jack really feel for him, I mean really,really feel for him cos its so unfair

  56. 56
    Biffo says:

    Looking back I am having difficulty remembering the names of a few girls I shagged in my teens.

    It was a long time ago and I have not seen them in years .

    I remember one girl saying no and then giggling and putting her tongue down my tonsils and her hand in my trousers .

  57. 57
    Godwin says:

    After you. Come on rich boy. Show me the colour of your money.

    Or are you just another c-untish Geldof espousing that everyone else should divi up without putting your hand in your own pocket?

  58. 58
    IMHO says:

    A very pious statement, he could just have handed over the £40,000 to make up the shortfall without turning it into a media event, look what a good guy I am, so give us your money, he is a multi-millionaire FFS.

  59. 59
    Kate is fit and fine, nice to seeee says:

    Been asked about Brown Lane as a child, but it looked scary!

  60. 60
    Anonymous says:

    was savile in the vicinity?

  61. 61
    Anonymous says:

    this is the jimmy savile defence?

  62. 62
    Anon says:

    I bet every dirty and bent copper in London is shitting themselves right now, won’t be long before Maxy boy comes for revenge and starts dishing the dirt on police corruption for this embarrassment and blemish on his social status.

  63. 63
    Showbizz spokesperson says:

    We use charities to make money for ourselves and get exposure

    The likes of Clifford taught us that

    Carreer looking bad?

    Flash your bujttocks or vacuity at a charity gig

    And get the red tops to expose you…


  64. 64
    Anonymous says:

    or stick a tenner in an envelope and give it to stranger,
    spread kindness,
    the kind way.

  65. 65
    Joe Mercier says:

    Chapatis nams and rice too !

  66. 66
    Historian of our times says:

    Back to basics was at a time when basics meant something

    Basics is now drugs, p…dophily, celebs, vacuity and perversion…

    Add to this the cupidity and criminality of the British press, British banks, BBC, lawyers and accountants…and there is not much left…

    Sure sign of the collapse of a once great civilisation…

  67. 67
    Steve Miliband says:

    People will do anything to flog their new book

  68. 68
    Anonymous says:

    jimmy sovil……….fixer
    max cliff.ord………fixer.

    what about tony blair’s fixer?

    firstly they came for the dead….then the living…the servants who were the fixers….and then?

  69. 69
    Kate is fit and fine, nice to seeee says:

    Get Jack Reagan and George Carter from the Sweeney on the case – they can’t stand them nonse slaaaags either…..

    No probs Guv.

  70. 70
    restore the monasteries says:

    Light burdens,long borne,grow heavy.

    Well may he smell fire whose gown burns.

    Those were the days’ my friends. (mary hopkin)

  71. 71
    Caligula's hoss says:

    How do you know what the Police have on Clifford?

  72. 72
    The Economy says:

    I was fucked by the Labour Party for 13 years, does that count?

  73. 73
    IMHO says:

    Council of Europe?

  74. 74
    Legal Eagle says:

    He hasn’t seen his lawyer bill just yet has he… :-)

  75. 75
    Social Conscience says:

    Check the donation site, and then perhaps donate and issue a retraction ? :-)

  76. 76
    Tabloid asshole says:

    I thought they’d never end…

    Eat drink and be merry

    (you know the rest)

  77. 77
    Arthur Foxache says:

    Brillient idear…steels it immeidiately..

  78. 78
    Kate is fit and fine, nice to seeee says:

    Sharp vowels you have for economics bee bee cees – “w r fcked wth ths gns n pwr”

  79. 79
    Perry Mason my arse says:

    It’s bang out of order or you to attribute the “revealing secrets” line to the Police. They never said this. Call yourself a Lawyer ! Tosser.

  80. 80
    Kate is fit and fine, nice to seeee says:

    chapters are being removed as we speak…..

  81. 81
    IMHO says:

    Tiny Tim will not get his xmas dinner after all.

  82. 82

    Drink? Did someone mention a drink. I shall certainly drink to that.

  83. 83
    Bad Karma says:

    A time of where the big mistakes of the past,start to catch up with you.
    After the sex scandals,maybe Iraq war stuff.

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    Fawkes mentioned “revealing secrets” .

  85. 85
    Bluebottle says:

    The police must have something on Clifford because he has been arrested .

  86. 86
    Oral exam says:

    Don’t ask about the tasting menu!

  87. 87
    Loopy Lou LLB (Hons) says:

    Have you heard of PACE and HRA ?

  88. 88
    Gordons curse says:

    I wonder if stuart hall voted for me.Sorry Max

  89. 89
    fuck the bbc says:

    Proper policing

  90. 90
    Mr Rotivator says:

    He also stated he wanted to bring down the Tories (since he can afford to be a socialist) and persecuted MPs like Jerry Hayes by alleging unproven sexual indiscretions . Couldn’t happen to a nicer chap.

  91. 91
    Does this make me naughty? says:

    A Jim’ll Fix It badge.

  92. 92
    Does this make me naughty? says:

    Hey Ironsides, if you don’t watch yerself somebody is going to tip your wheelchair down the stairs. Kapiche?

  93. 93
  94. 94

    We should not be rejoicing at the State-EnemyClass-driven downfall of people like Max Clifford.

    We may have sneered bourgeoisistically at him, for helping “celebs” of ephemeral qualities at best and exhibiting nothing worth having at worst, to “tell the world” about “their lives”.

    But it was their lives, and they perhaps, although mistakenly or otherwise, thought we would think this important.

    Most of the poor bastards were harmless wannabes.

    We may need people like Max Clifford, in the fullness of time, to help us destroy the Political EnemyClass, properly.

    Perhaps he and his like may know how to do that important thing.

  95. 95
    HenryV says:

    Passing places are so cars pass each other not for that business. If you want to shag back into a field entrance or even better open the gate back the car into the field. Bloody townies.

  96. 96

    Not unless you contribute. Donations gratefully received via my website.

  97. 97
    Arthur Foxache says:

    Deaf sqwads..

  98. 98
    Arthur Foxache says:

    Soo operation Ore…still nowt..well buried innit..

  99. 99
    Observer says:

    You need a PR man to promote this great idea, now let’s see whose free …….oops.

  100. 100
    Retarded fuck says:

    *chokes* on sausage.

  101. 101

    Thank you so much!

    Our whole family is devastated at the thought that our little six year old boy Numan may not be able to have his life-changing operation in January now, to be able to walk for the first time ever.

    If anyone can help our appeal we would be so grateful.

  102. 102

    Max Clifford kindly offered to hold the charity event for us to help raise the money for our little six year old boy Numan to have an operation to enable him to walk for the first time.

    His operation is booked for January so we are all devastated that we may not now be able to go ahead and Numan will have to continue to walk on a kaye walker and sticks.

    Thank you so much though to everyone who has already donated to our site,

    Our battle to make Numan’s dream come true will continue.

  103. 103

    Thank you so much for your donation!

    Every penny helps towards making Numan’s dream of walking for the first time, come true.

    We are going to have to return to shaking tins in supermarkets for a few more months.

  104. 104
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    And us by the Tories for 18 years.

  105. 105
    Anonymous says:

    why does abuse and sympathy go together?

    why not have sympathy for the victim of abuse?

    why is it that sympathy for the victims of abuse gets diverted….ppl are clever but nasty. it is not possible to take responsibility for the life of another,so why feel guilt? random acts of kindness is more pleasing as it is pure life enhancing pleasure.

  106. 106

    Guido will stand in for Max. He’s got plenty of secrets of the rich and famous (and the not so rich but famous) to reveal

  107. 107
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    Dont hold your breath!

  108. 108
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    Its already over the decline in all the areas you mention will accelerate over the next decade.

  109. 109
    George Osborne's bullshite crap Statement says:

    ha-ha – you have fallen into the usual trap of a pervert. CHAAAARRRRITY! MY CHILDS ARSE, hopefully not!

  110. 110

    Dear Mr Bollocks. You have interrupted my sixteenth pre-prandial snifter. Please go and stutter off elsewhere with your vile and twisted comments.
    Back to the bar …

  111. 111
    UKIP - The way ahead. says:

    You’d have to have a heart of stone not to laugh!

  112. 112
    TONY BENN,S WILL says:

    Is that secrets or withholding evidence of a crime

  113. 113
    Grimy Miner says:

    Why did Raymond Burr quit “Ironside”?

    ‘Cos he was getting tired of being pushed about!!

    I’ll get me coat :(

  114. 114
    I love Government grants says:

    We Scousers have long memories. Aren’t you forgetting all the millions kind Uncle Heseltine sent us Scallies after that visit to the ‘pool made him feel so guilty. Ever wonder what happened to all that dough? It seems you didn’t get any. Typical of those Tories.
    I got lots and became a Socialist multi millionaire property demolisher/developer/asset stripper. Of course after a while, I had to move abroad to stop HMRC trying to get their thieving paws on some on some of my many millions.

  115. 115
    Old country solicitor says:

    It’s against the law to knowingly withhold information of criminal activity from the relevant authorities, even if you’re a Catholic Bishop or much loved and respected confidant to the stars, the rich and the famous.

  116. 116
    No more foreign wars says:

    Or destroying the infrastructure of much of Serbia to create the independent Islamic republic of Kosovo, financed by EU money and policed by Nato.

  117. 117
    Smell the glove says:

    This is a perfect example of why, we should accept and legislate all the Levison enquiry conclusions. Disgusting media destroying innocent celeb’s life again.

  118. 118
    Socialism = Starvation says:

    As Uncle Joe’s Chief Prosecutor Andrei Vizhinsky used to say ‘Arrest is the primary proof of guilt’.

    He met his targets too.

  119. 119
    AR says:

    He’s always been a scumbag. He assaulted my wife and she was horrified when this unattractive man locked the door of his office and pushed himself against her with an erection and tried to kiss her……….and when she became annoyed claimed he was just ‘testing’ her for suitability for a film part!!!

  120. 120
    Lamia says:

    Thanks for bringing this to our notice. It’s humbling and puts things into perspective. I’ve donated and I hope others can too.

  121. 121
    Stir my old La Tene Alp pot says:

    Strutter? Nice posh word, tory. I would have said if i was ever uncomfortably by the uncouth, this – ” Please, you are usetting my over-priviledged gyroscope, thinking life will change soon for me, and go into a different direction, and I will have – sob! – no one to look after me – boo-hoo-hooo” Grow up tory and aquire some fecking street balls!

  122. 122
    Crawler says:

    Fuck off!

  123. 123
    Bring back floppy discs says:

    Jeux Sans Brassieres

  124. 124
    Lord Jensen Interceptor says:

    Does the Numan charity arrange children so that Max can fuck them?

  125. 125

    Numan is a six year old little boy who would just like to have the opportunity to walk.
    Please support him!

  126. 126

    Sorry that should be if you want to know more about Numan.

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