December 6th, 2012

Max Clifford Charity Dinner Cancelled

Monday’s black-tie evening with Max Clifford to raise as much money for the Help Numan Walk Appeal is cancelled. Over a fabulous four-course dinner Max was due to reveal the secrets of the rich and famous and then host a charity auction and raffle. Unfortunately he is instead being asked by detectives to reveal secrets…


  1. 1
    Moby Dick says:

    walk appeal?–wasnt a marathon then?


    • 49
      Kate is fit and fine, nice to seeee says:

      it’s all for chhhhhaaaarity, after all,

      More port Vicar?


    • 53
      Gordon Brown says:

      I have cancelled my afternoon dump as their is already a floater in the chamber


    • 94

      We should not be rejoicing at the State-EnemyClass-driven downfall of people like Max Clifford.

      We may have sneered bourgeoisistically at him, for helping “celebs” of ephemeral qualities at best and exhibiting nothing worth having at worst, to “tell the world” about “their lives”.

      But it was their lives, and they perhaps, although mistakenly or otherwise, thought we would think this important.

      Most of the poor bastards were harmless wannabes.

      We may need people like Max Clifford, in the fullness of time, to help us destroy the Political EnemyClass, properly.

      Perhaps he and his like may know how to do that important thing.


  2. 2
    Taxfodder says:

    I don’t miss the sex…only the agility!

    I hope i’m not asked who I shagged (or shagged me) in me teens over 65 years ago indeed these days I often find me self at the top of me stairs wondering why and what I climbed them for….so I don’t envy poor old Max trying to remember how old they were, no chance!


    • 5
      STROPPYCOW says:

      Aww go on – spill….


      • 18
        Taxfodder says:

        Well I do vaguely remember stopping me car in a county passing place with a young girl for a bit of howsyerfather and getting stuck in the mud, and on asking her to give me a bit of a push for which she grumpily hopped out straight into a particularly muddy and fairly deep ditch….

        when she finally clambered out I gallantly made her sit in the back in an old blanket so as not to mess up me upholstery…

        she was 15 ish going on 34 and I was 17ish going on 13…..happy days.


        • 60
          Anonymous says:

          was savile in the vicinity?


        • 95
          HenryV says:

          Passing places are so cars pass each other not for that business. If you want to shag back into a field entrance or even better open the gate back the car into the field. Bloody townies.


    • 9
      Cliffords Maximus says:

      Without proof of age I would go with the old rule of thumb’If there’s grass on the wicket,it’s time for cricket’


    • 56
      Biffo says:

      Looking back I am having difficulty remembering the names of a few girls I shagged in my teens.

      It was a long time ago and I have not seen them in years .

      I remember one girl saying no and then giggling and putting her tongue down my tonsils and her hand in my trousers .


  3. 3
    Kebab Time says:

    Hopefully this will bring the whole house of cards down….


  4. 6
    Jerry says:

    Hello, Newman


  5. 7
    Social Conscience says:

    Numan walk is concerned with a 5 year old lad who has Spastic Diplegic Cerebral Palsy. They are trying to raise GBP 60k to send him for treatment in St. Louis USA. They appear to have less than GBP 20k raised so far – probably worth a small tax deductable seeing as their main support has been arrested.


    • 28

      Tenner donated.

      I was going to say that perhaps everyone who’s feeling some satisfaction at these arrests might throw a tenner in the pot in recompense, but mindful of innocent until proven guilty, and also the season of goodwill, perhaps that’s the wrong way to look at it. Instead, maybe think that through no fault of theirs a family that was hoping for some help for their lad from this event is now probably feeling very low – and maybe those of us who are more fortunate could make a small difference to that?


    • 120
      Lamia says:

      Thanks for bringing this to our notice. It’s humbling and puts things into perspective. I’ve donated and I hope others can too.


  6. 8
    Steve Miliband says:

    Exclusive; Max Clifford breakfast cancelled this morning


  7. 10
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Not much sympathy for Max but it’s a shame the charity will suffer as a result.


    • 16
      Red Egg Millitit..... says:

      True, being a smart arse and making lots of dosh makes him a target for many :)

      I hope the interview the ‘victim’ probably a 58years old granny with 4 kids and 10 grand-kids and as fat as she is tall, but it ruined her life :(


  8. 11
    IMHO says:

    And what was the raffle prize going to be for ticket number12?.


  9. 12
    Hank the Cat says:

    Gordon Brown made me do it


  10. 13



  11. 14
    Maximum Imbecile C says:

    There is no business like show business


  12. 15
    kebabmon says:

    Why not combine the two? Chances are that most of the Met would have been attending the ‘black tie charidee’ do anyway. Not ‘arf!


  13. 20
    Hank the Cat says:

    I suppose this means he will be on the BBC commenting on everything under sun. Now that he is one of the boys


  14. 21
    Harriet Harman says:

    In light of the fact that so many of our supporters both in and out of the Islamic community are getting nicked for having sex with underage girls,we think the answer is simple.
    Lower the age of consent.


  15. 22
    Lost in Clacton says:

    Merry Christmas P C Plod !


  16. 24
    Religion of Piss Spokesman says:

    What is all this about, was she like 4 or something?


  17. 25
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Lost in all this is that a poor little boy’s life can be made much better by an operation which, curiously, he apparently cannot receive in the UK (and why can’t he– but let’s not open up that can, shall we?), and he seeks to raise the money for it. C’mon, Max boy, shake some of your clients down for the dosh the kid needs, and forgo all the scoffing and boozing and bad jokes to be done at this fundraiser and cut to the chase! Or, Mr Fawkes, you can ask your readership to throw in the odd bob, too– wouldn’t kill anybody, especially this time of year!


  18. 26
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    Good idea for a new TV reality show ‘Who f*cked me?’

    Poor ‘victims’ of sexual abuse from 40-50 years ago walk on stage and the audience has to guess who fiddled, abused or f8cked these innocent old people.

    Multiple choice list of suspects.


    • 72
      The Economy says:

      I was fucked by the Labour Party for 13 years, does that count?


      • 104
        Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

        And us by the Tories for 18 years.


        • 114
          I love Government grants says:

          We Scousers have long memories. Aren’t you forgetting all the millions kind Uncle Heseltine sent us Scallies after that visit to the ‘pool made him feel so guilty. Ever wonder what happened to all that dough? It seems you didn’t get any. Typical of those Tories.
          I got lots and became a Socialist multi millionaire property demolisher/developer/asset stripper. Of course after a while, I had to move abroad to stop HMRC trying to get their thieving paws on some on some of my many millions.


    • 77
      Arthur Foxache says:

      Brillient idear…steels it immeidiately..


    • 99
      Observer says:

      You need a PR man to promote this great idea, now let’s see whose free …….oops.


  19. 29
    David Starkey, Looks Good In Khaki says:

    Frankly, if the man’s fashion sense is anything to go by, he deserves a few months in chokey. To be fair, he did wear some nice khaki pants on the Louis Theroux documentary, but that nice touch was obscured by the horrible checked shirt he was sporting. And those glasses look like the ones I used to get on the NHS!

    Even that silly Bagshawe girl has better dress sense!


  20. 29
    bergen says:

    I can’t remember even the Back to Basics period being as bizarre as this.


    • 34
      Red Egg Millitit..... says:

      Back to Basics is what got ‘em into trouble.


    • 66
      Historian of our times says:

      Back to basics was at a time when basics meant something

      Basics is now drugs, p…dophily, celebs, vacuity and perversion…

      Add to this the cupidity and criminality of the British press, British banks, BBC, lawyers and accountants…and there is not much left…

      Sure sign of the collapse of a once great civilisation…


      • 108
        its bleak in sunderland says:

        Its already over the decline in all the areas you mention will accelerate over the next decade.


  21. 32
    Hank the Cat says:

    He said he voted for the maximum imbecile and was proud of it.Will this be part of his defense


    • 90
      Mr Rotivator says:

      He also stated he wanted to bring down the Tories (since he can afford to be a socialist) and persecuted MPs like Jerry Hayes by alleging unproven sexual indiscretions . Couldn’t happen to a nicer chap.


  22. 35
    Perry Mason says:

    If Mr Clifford has been arrested then the Police should not be asking him to “reveal secrets”.

    If the Police arrest someone they must have some material which if true could lead to criminal charges and Mr Clifford should have been made aware of this .

    The precise material should be put to Mr Clifford for him to answer and then a decision will have to be made to charge release or bail pending further enquiries .

    It is bang out of order for the Police to arrest Mr Clifford and then lean on him to release secrets to them .


    • 51
      Mr BumBum says:

      Someone’s feeling a bit sweaty.


    • 71
      Caligula's hoss says:

      How do you know what the Police have on Clifford?


      • 85
        Bluebottle says:

        The police must have something on Clifford because he has been arrested .


        • 118
          Socialism = Starvation says:

          As Uncle Joe’s Chief Prosecutor Andrei Vizhinsky used to say ‘Arrest is the primary proof of guilt’.

          He met his targets too.


    • 79
      Perry Mason my arse says:

      It’s bang out of order or you to attribute the “revealing secrets” line to the Police. They never said this. Call yourself a Lawyer ! Tosser.


    • 92
      Does this make me naughty? says:

      Hey Ironsides, if you don’t watch yerself somebody is going to tip your wheelchair down the stairs. Kapiche?


      • 113
        Grimy Miner says:

        Why did Raymond Burr quit “Ironside”?

        ‘Cos he was getting tired of being pushed about!!

        I’ll get me coat :(


    • 115
      Old country solicitor says:

      It’s against the law to knowingly withhold information of criminal activity from the relevant authorities, even if you’re a Catholic Bishop or much loved and respected confidant to the stars, the rich and the famous.


  23. 37
    Fatty Pang says:

    Aw shit there goes another free meal down the pan. Slurp slurp


  24. 39
    Kate is fit and fine, nice to seeee says:

    IIIII aaaam a Beeee Beeee Ceeeee roooyaaal corespondent, aaand knoooow how to extend my voooooowels, in such caaaaases,


  25. 40
    Hank the Cat says:

    Sorry Perry if it is part of an ongoing investigation they can ask him and dig as much as they like


  26. 43
    Those were crazy days man says:

    The baby boom generation sewed the wind of liberal ideology,now let them reap the fucking whirlwind.


    • 70
      restore the monasteries says:

      Light burdens,long borne,grow heavy.

      Well may he smell fire whose gown burns.

      Those were the days’ my friends. (mary hopkin)


  27. 44
    Stuart Hall says:

    Who wants to play It’s My Cockout?!


  28. 45
    YorkshireLad says:

    Bread and water in the cells then?


  29. 54
    Raving Loon says:

    Bit of a bad PR move, isn’t it?


  30. 62
    Anon says:

    I bet every dirty and bent copper in London is shitting themselves right now, won’t be long before Maxy boy comes for revenge and starts dishing the dirt on police corruption for this embarrassment and blemish on his social status.


  31. 63
    Showbizz spokesperson says:

    We use charities to make money for ourselves and get exposure

    The likes of Clifford taught us that

    Carreer looking bad?

    Flash your bujttocks or vacuity at a charity gig

    And get the red tops to expose you…



  32. 67
    Steve Miliband says:

    People will do anything to flog their new book


  33. 73
    IMHO says:

    Council of Europe?


  34. 83
    Bad Karma says:

    A time of where the big mistakes of the past,start to catch up with you.
    After the sex scandals,maybe Iraq war stuff.


    • 107
      its bleak in sunderland says:

      Dont hold your breath!


    • 116
      No more foreign wars says:

      Or destroying the infrastructure of much of Serbia to create the independent Islamic republic of Kosovo, financed by EU money and policed by Nato.


  35. 88
    Gordons curse says:

    I wonder if stuart hall voted for me.Sorry Max


  36. 98
    Arthur Foxache says:

    Soo operation Ore…still nowt..well buried innit..


  37. 100
    Retarded fuck says:

    *chokes* on sausage.


  38. 102

    Max Clifford kindly offered to hold the charity event for us to help raise the money for our little six year old boy Numan to have an operation to enable him to walk for the first time.

    His operation is booked for January so we are all devastated that we may not now be able to go ahead and Numan will have to continue to walk on a kaye walker and sticks.

    Thank you so much though to everyone who has already donated to our site,

    Our battle to make Numan’s dream come true will continue.


    • 105
      Anonymous says:

      why does abuse and sympathy go together?

      why not have sympathy for the victim of abuse?

      why is it that sympathy for the victims of abuse gets diverted….ppl are clever but nasty. it is not possible to take responsibility for the life of another,so why feel guilt? random acts of kindness is more pleasing as it is pure life enhancing pleasure.


    • 106

      Guido will stand in for Max. He’s got plenty of secrets of the rich and famous (and the not so rich but famous) to reveal


    • 109
      George Osborne's bullshite crap Statement says:

      ha-ha – you have fallen into the usual trap of a pervert. CHAAAARRRRITY! MY CHILDS ARSE, hopefully not!


      • 110

        Dear Mr Bollocks. You have interrupted my sixteenth pre-prandial snifter. Please go and stutter off elsewhere with your vile and twisted comments.
        Back to the bar …


        • 121
          Stir my old La Tene Alp pot says:

          Strutter? Nice posh word, tory. I would have said if i was ever uncomfortably by the uncouth, this – ” Please, you are usetting my over-priviledged gyroscope, thinking life will change soon for me, and go into a different direction, and I will have – sob! – no one to look after me – boo-hoo-hooo” Grow up tory and aquire some fecking street balls!


  39. 111
    UKIP - The way ahead. says:

    You’d have to have a heart of stone not to laugh!


  40. 117
    Smell the glove says:

    This is a perfect example of why, we should accept and legislate all the Levison enquiry conclusions. Disgusting media destroying innocent celeb’s life again.


  41. 119
    AR says:

    He’s always been a scumbag. He assaulted my wife and she was horrified when this unattractive man locked the door of his office and pushed himself against her with an erection and tried to kiss her……….and when she became annoyed claimed he was just ‘testing’ her for suitability for a film part!!!


  42. 124
    Lord Jensen Interceptor says:

    Does the Numan charity arrange children so that Max can fuck them?


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