December 5th, 2012

Kate Prank Call From “the Queen”


  1. 1
    Nick Clegg says:

    First before KT :-)

  2. 2
    Roscoe Rules says:

    I might not be a Gynocologist but I’ll still have a fucking good look.

  3. 3
    Putting the Numpty into NHS says:


  4. 4
    Tom Tomos says:

    Bonza wheeze!

  5. 5
    Silent Bob says:

    Fuck me.

  6. 6
    Silent Bob says:

  7. 7
    Impressario says:

    After Ed Balls’ performance in the Commons this afternoon I have decided that he has a real talent for pantomime.

  8. 8
    Hello Can I Help You? says:

    Fire the receptionist.

  9. 9
    La' says:

    Send Hugh Grant and Alan Partridge out there too.

  10. 10
    The Man In The Iron Mask says:

    It’s going to be a tough time if you’re an identical twin of the King.
    Trust me, I know. None of this Prince and the Pauper bullshit.

  11. 11
    One-term Dave, dragging the Tories to their grave says:

    Today’s News: “Britain yesterday pledged almost £2 billion in “climate aid” to help finance foreign projects including wind turbines in Africa”

    Also in today’s new: “Autumn Statement: Osborne grabs £2 billion from middle-class”

    You couldn’t make it up!

  12. 12
    Arianna H's edible hamster says:

    We got to this one first.
    ** swigs on water bottle of left wing mediocrity in triumph **

  13. 13
    Steve Miliband says:

    Is Kate preggers?

  14. 14
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    You just NOW realised what a horse’s arse he’s always been?

  15. 15
    Bleedin' Hacked off Hearts says:

    Millie and Maddy would have wanted to see the kangaroo’s down there… regulate.

  16. 16
    Question says:

    Wonder what could have got into her?

  17. 17
    The BBC says:

    Does no one pay any attention to us any more ?

  18. 18
    Funny but also intrusive says:

    I’m not a royalist at all but that was a disturbing intrusion into someone’s privacy over their medical issues, which is no one else’s business.

  19. 19
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Are radio stations not covered by statutory regulation in Australia then? Quick tell Ed Miliband so he can start another bandwagon.

  20. 20
    Uncle Rupie down under but not out says:

    They should have known at this toff’s hospital that any call from Oz is likely to be doubtful

    After all, I spread hacking plagging and all the rest when I came to Britain from OZ…

    I hate the English

  21. 21
    Question on succession says:

    So they have changed the law so that a female can be head of state, but she still cannot marry a catholic.

    What if she is a lezzer?

  22. 22
    David Cameron says:

    This morning I had breakfast with Sam and the kids. In addition to duties in my house, I shall be having further such meals later today.

  23. 23
    WVM says:

    Too much information Bob.

  24. 24
    Controversial says:

    Elizabeth I ?

  25. 25
    Want to see some puppies says:

    Look there’s a lost little boy over there —–>

  26. 26
    Dave and his NWO says:

    As a gynecologist, I’m just an enthusiastic amateur; As a C**t, I’m a Professional.

  27. 27
    Sarah Beard says:

    I used a turkey baster.

  28. 28
    Eric Bristow's left butt cheek says:

    In one night more people voted to keep my arse crack in the Australian jungle than have signed the Mcann petition.

  29. 29
    Nick Clegg says:

    I hate the English as well.

  30. 30
    Kebab Time says:

    Sorry for being late just been at the GUM clinic.

  31. 31
    60 years old and proud says:

    Excuse my ignorance but I have spent the last 60 years under he delusion that a female is Head of State. Is Phil the Greek really the King but we can’t put a Greek’s head on the notes because it would cause a run on the pound.

  32. 32
    Fang Pang, last Governor of the BBC says:

    Mr Murdoch sir

    I beg of you

    Your newspapers have so much dirt on the BBC that I think we will sink for ever

    We will support you publicly if you take your hound dogs off us…

    Give us a few months at least…I do not even know how many emloyees we have, let alone what they have done or are doing…

  33. 33
    David Camoron says:

    So do I, which is why I plan to bulldoze England and build houses for the 460,000+ Romanian/Bulgarian immigrants I’ll be letting into England in 2014.

    You know, if there’s one thing I hate more than the English, it’s Conservative supporters – ghastly little plebby racists and fruitcakes – which is why I’m smashing their precious Party to bits and consigning it to 20+ years of opposition!

    Guffff-haw haw haw haw haw haw haw!

  34. 34
    Humanae Vitae says:

    Can’t have them marrying catholics – think of all the extra mouths we would have to feed!

    No contraception for me please.

  35. 35
    Bogeyman says:

    Oh do fcuk off. Do you write for the Guardian?

  36. 36
    Greek Prime Minister says:

    Now now…

    All our cash is on London

    So steady on old chap…

  37. 37
    Greek Prime Minister says:

    Like Guido I think the Monarchy should be Catholic

    We love sprogs…royal or Oirish or Polish

    All the sa

  38. 38
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    I think I was brilliant at the despatch box this afternoon :)

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    2 kids run our world.
    millie and maddie.
    we have been had.

    in other news, Egyptian Pharoh King flees palace. people in palaces…

  40. 40
    nambawan pikinini bilong Misis kwin says:

    FFS – is that a balanced budget or what

  41. 41
    Superman says:

    Why would anyone want to marry a Catholic? Medieval superstition. We wouldn’t want a witchdoctor on the throne. No difference.

  42. 42
    Keep Britain honest says:

    Like Guido, I think the Monarchy should return to being Catholic and legitimate

    We are also happy that William is heterosexual

    He may be the last celebrity to prefer shagging to unnatural practices…..

    Long live Willy…

  43. 43
    Ryce and pea says:

    At least it wasn’t an NHS hospital. Nurse Ooombeko Nafooldazo would have given out the direct line and room number.

  44. 44

    Bring back Postman Prat.

  45. 45
    Hit on the head when you were a baby, were you? says:

    Yeah, because, as we all know, the Guardian are real royalists aren’t they?

  46. 46
    Owin Jones Independent(ish) Journalist and Para-Poet says:

    I am not lost, I am geographically confused and a big boy.

  47. 47
    Phil the Greek says:

    Actually, I am German

    But don’t tell anyone…

  48. 48
    David Cameron says:

  49. 49
    P l e a s e says:

    ‘Is the limit still 28 weeks nurse?’

  50. 50
    Kate's PR company says:

    And no more upskirt photos please

    (you know the rest)

    Concentrate on your TV celebrities and other futilities….

  51. 51
    Realist says:

    And possibly faxed over the ultrasounds, medical records, and arranged a sale with an interested party.

  52. 52
    Diane Fatbott says:

    Labour will go to the hole for our kids

  53. 53
    Kate says:

    Check out one’s royal booty.

  54. 54
    Steve Coogun says:

    I feel a Guardian article coming on.

  55. 55
    Hansard reporter says:

    This is getting serious

    Empty Ed and Empty Balls

    Send for an ambulance please

  56. 56
    Dirty Desmond Guido's boss says:

    This was great for my front page

    Along with the usual titties…

  57. 57
    The ghost of Ian Smith says:

    No can do buddy, as you could hear she is an ethnic minority from Africa.

  58. 58
    Dianne Abbot says:

    I hate the English too, with the exception of English West Indian mothers.

  59. 59
    Anonymous says:

    Wind turbines in Africa? For more likely, the money will go on Mercs, BMWs and shopping trips to Harrods by all the leaders and their wives.

  60. 60
    60 years old and proud says:


    You really need to update your page in Wikipedia. It clearly says that you were formally Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark and that you were born in Greece – on a kitchen table in Corfu I believe.

    While I agree with the Dook Of Wellington that being born in a stable doesn’t make you a horse, I am quite clear that been born in Greece and having Greece as one of the two countries named in your title makes it unlikely that you are German.

    Your dear wife on the other hand……………….

  61. 61
    French connaisseur says:

    Not complete without the top

  62. 62
    Mark Oaten says:

    I’m coming.

  63. 63
    Polly says:

    Don’t come too soon dear

    It might spoil the effect

  64. 64
    Court correspondent says:


    There are as many titties and bums on this blog as on HuffPo

    I complain…

  65. 65

    We should all believe this – its fact and no joke!

  66. 66
    Hollande says:

    I fart in your general direction

  67. 67
    Anonymous says:

    silence is golden.
    the queen hardly ever says anything. her art collection is worth 10 billion.

  68. 68
    Frankie GooGootz says:

    More people voted for me on Celebrity Big Brother, FFS!
    Buy my record, PLEASE! I need the dosh! My A-list lifestyle, combined with my Z-list talent, is expensive!

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

    the egyptians storms the palaces of their elite. a lot of us are simmering.

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    there is anger at the royals.
    there is the jimmy saville anger
    there is the prince charles anger
    perhaps now we will get to hear about the prince andrew anger

  71. 71
    Blinking Testicules says:

    I am contracting Like Mandy taught me to do…

  72. 72
    Trivia Hound says:

    Woof! Woof! Grrrrrr!

  73. 73
    Meanwhile says:

    A mother who beat her son “like a dog” when he failed to memorise passages of the Koran has been found guilty of his murder.

    Don’t ya just love the religion of piss.

  74. 74
    Anonymous says:

    only two institutions of state , the bbc and the monarchy are phenomenally well funded.

    when the appreciation goes, the funding goes.
    the purpose of money is to show appreciation.

  75. 75
    Historian of our times says:


    “A member of the House of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg, Prince Philip was born in Greece….”

  76. 76
    Sir William Waad says:

    At least the money won’t be completely wasted, then.

    P.S. What’s wrong with installing hydro-electric plant in these countries? It has the advantage of actually working.

  77. 77
    Lord Mandelspawn - Lizard International says:

    Just relax otherwise it will hurt more.

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    is the house of windsor a fake house,
    was it not german b4.

    are we ruled by a german family?

  79. 79
    Owen Jones says:

    I think it’s extremely progressive. I also celebrate the way they genitally mutilate their daughters, and disfigure them with acid if they bring shame upon their progressive households.

  80. 80
    Johnny Norfolk says:

    What a pair of Bast****. I do not think it is funny at all. Imagine how that poor nurse must feel.

  81. 81
    Slugged her with me lead pipe in the library says:

    “Can one bring the relies too Nurse – even Phil?”

    Is this the same vid? oops been got! Fair dinkum claim and all that on youtubby, maete!

  82. 82
    Slugged her with me lead pipe in the library says:

    Oh come on starchy, it was brilliant. Done more for the Oz anti-republican movement than anything for years. Shove another prawn on the barbie will you fella.

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    mandelson has achieved privacy not available to bliar and brine.
    aren’t sexes equal?

  84. 84
    Slugged her with me lead pipe in the library says:

    Still got the italian link with her nips, somewhere – let’s have a look for it…

    Like my ladies streamlined.

  85. 85
    MB. says:

    Was Australian or UK law broken with the call and use on air, so can they be prosecuted?

  86. 86
    Slugged her with me lead pipe in the library says:

    “…I took the rubbish out”

  87. 87
    R Soles says:

    Those hilarious Aussies. in no time they’ll be taking Liverpool’s crown as the funniest place on the planet. Watch out John Bishop.

  88. 88
    Slugged her with me lead pipe in the library says:

    It never happened – it is a pisstake setup spoof, or was it? hmmmm…

    Us poms are so gullible.

  89. 89
    Slugged her with me lead pipe in the library says:

    John Bishop was on beeb breakie telly this morning R Soles – quite funny he was, especially the balaclava bit, link,

  90. 90
  91. 91
    Anonymous says:

    I think the point is that they impersonated the Queens voice, i think alarm bells would have rung if they had sounded like Dame Edna or Les Patterson.

  92. 92
    Anonymous says:

    It would be a bit tricky having a catholic as head of the church of England.

  93. 93
    Anonymous says:

    It will be for more than 20 years by the time Cameron and Osborne have finished.

  94. 94
    Anonymous says:

    No – the point here is that Cameron and Osborne are DELIBERATELY destroying the Tory Party.

  95. 95
    Anonymous says:

    Hes just been on R4 on Laurie Taylors prog, being patronising to an author whos book he seems to have read, also boasting about being gay.

  96. 96
    Anonymous says:

    Of course it is, imagine if the same thing happened to the Browns.

  97. 97
    The savant8.5 says:


    You re. Just. Breathing rather heavily .

  98. 98
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    It would be a bit tricky having a catholic as the head of the Greek Orthodox Church.

  99. 99
    Mark Skid says:

    There are no English West Indian mothers, only West Indian mothers who live in England.

  100. 100
    Damned Impertinent Questions says:

    They are journalists. This is called blagging and breaches the data Protection Act

    Will Levenson sit to investigate? After all hes sunning himself in Australia at the moment so it wouldn’t be hard to nip in and do a few interviews and a crime is a crime

  101. 101
    Anonymous says:

    We should probably wait for Africa to invent a written language and maybe even the wheel before we start taking money from people who can read just to give them the ability to electrocute themselves.

  102. 102
    Annie Seed-Balls (no relation!) says:

    All we are missing is a Goldberg and we’ll have the complete set.

  103. 103
    Annie Seed-Balls nee Merkel says:

    Bugger! You finally twigged…

  104. 104
    bdul the Bulbul, the Emir says:

    We are making the necessary long term arrangement sat the regent Street mosque as we speak.

  105. 105
    Gert's niece says:

    As my Aunt Gertrude used to say “MT Vessels make most noise”…

  106. 106
    Gert's niece says:

    Probably because if any upstanding British citizen sees him, he’s dead meat (as they say in the movies).

  107. 107
    President of Argentina says:

    Prince William and his uncle Prince Andrew are both war criminals for daring to be anywhere near La Malvinas.

    We want the baby when it’s born to be put on trial in their place for crimes against the good citizens of Argentina.

  108. 108
    Socialist Worker says:

    It just shows how shite the Royal Firm at the whole security thing. If its not the Ginger onewaving his chopper in Las Vegas it is this totally inept attempt to get to Kate.

    We spend millions on royal so called protection and a hopeless aussie gets through in seconds.

    Oh and by the way is Kate really the Queen’s grand daughter? I though they’d decided the mass inbreeding experiment was over?

Media Reader

London Live to Cut 20 Staff to Buy in More Content | Press Gazette
Telegraph Revealed Auschwitz 3 Years Before Liberation | Telegraph
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
We Must Not Call Charlie Hebdo Killers ‘terrorists’ | Telegraph
Page 3 and the Art of the Self-Pity Statement | Guardian
Here is What a 7 Way Debate Sounds Like | BBC
Poll: Sun Readers Want Page 3 to Stay | Business Insider
The Sun: An Apology | Press Gazette
More Women Prosecuted For Telly Tax | Mail
Je Suis Page 3 | Toby Young

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers