December 5th, 2012

Omnisham-balls: Ed Balls Fluffs Autumn Statement

A full house of criticism for Ed Balls dire response to the Autumn Statement. He fluffed his first line and it was all downhill from there…

He had an open goal, all he had to do was keep it simple…


  1. 1
    WVM says:

    A total omnishambles from Balls!

    • 21
      Flanders and Eds says:

      His ex girlfiend Steph is on the BBC now trying to help him out.

      • 36
        WVM says:

        Aww bless, he must love him deep down they’re so cute together!

      • 125
        genghiz the kahn says:

        New balls please, game over.

      • 127
        steph 2 eds flanders says:

        I still reckon he is a rubbish shag

        • 140
          Slugged her with me lead pipe in the library says:

          Balls got his lines in a conniption fit at the start – but soon got over that and was well into his stroke – cox Yvette saying pull harder, harder, HARDERRRRuhhh…

          : )

    • 42
      Engineer says:

      I think it may be slowly dawning on Balls that he’s got it all fundamentally wrong.

    • 63
      Unwell Moran says:

      Anyone seen my claim form?

    • 97
      Anonymous says:

      Fluffing’s about all Ed’s good for.

      • 149
        The savant8.5 says:

        Surely not

        Fluffer. Girls fellate the. MALE. Porn. Stars. When they cannot. Muster sufficient. “Wood”. For the next scene .

        D you mean. Ballsy fellates. Male porn stars. Too. ??

        Come to think of it. ( follow this logic carefully now. ). …

        For what other reason would he have gained the nickname. …. Blinkie !!

    • 99
      Anonymous says:

      I think the futility of his situation has just hit him, if i was sitting in between those 2 nodding dogs for a living i would top myself.

    • 126
      Gordon Brown says:

      Don’t forget the good old days……

      Ed Balls was amazing and with me every step of the way.

  2. 2
    Kebab Time says:

    It was shocking!

  3. 3
    Blinky has to make a formal apology says:

  4. 4
    Steve Miliband says:

    Time for Ed to call for an enquiry

  5. 5
    Dennis McShane's Shed says:

    Woeful – sounded like he was pissed. Normally he spouts shit in a vaguely competent manner but not today.

    Bye bye Ed.

  6. 6
    8illy 8owden, the world's greatist umplre says:

    BBC Sports Personality of the Year: Stephen Maguire.

    Watch the video – amazing honesty.

  7. 7
    Schnorbitz - the greatest Labour leader since Michael Foot! says:

    Too far too fast… er, no, er… not fast enough… er… Millie Dowler, Millie Dowler, Millie Dowler…

  8. 8
    Moussa Koussa Mark 3 says:

    LOL….Gideon has just told us all that the economy is more fu*cked that he thought, yet your are more concerned with Ed Balls performance…LOL

    • 14
      Steve Miliband says:

      Just curious about labour’s plan

    • 15
      DaveyC says:

      Agreed. Balls making a dick of himself always enjoyable, but the real story here is Gideon’s complete failure to get the economy sorted. He should be resigning, not jeering the opposition.

      • 59
        Engineer says:

        Two years to sort out an economic omnishambles that was several decades in the making? Sorting this out will take a decade, and full recovery about two generations; that’s provided we don’t go back to Labour’s usual tax, borrow and spend ways.

        • 148
          golli says:

          More like three generations according to the Bank of England which also admitted the bxstard bankers were waging a World War on us all, helped of course by McGoldsmelter Brown. Liebour should creep away under stone until the anti aircraft batteries fall silent.

      • 104
        Trev says:

        Thanks for proving your a thick tit.

      • 132
        Marmite says:

        You need to get your head from out of your backside DaveyC.



    • 17

      Because ….. Balls should have had a good ride on the back of the economic figures.

      Instead, he had a car crash!

      And I should know.

    • 22
      Nom Dom Nom 2 says:

      Not really, just 2 sides of the same worthless coin

    • 102
      Anonymous says:

      L O L. it was f*cked by labour over the 13 years they were in you moron ! L O L

  9. 10
    Steve Miliband says:

    Was expecting deficit to be rising, therefore change of script

  10. 11
    Check Facts First says:

    Anyone see the look on Ed`s wife`s face? If looks could kill! It was terrible. The two Eds had a really bad day today. Ed M at PMQs and Ed B in response to the Autumn Statement.

  11. 12
    Favourite moment from today's PMQs says:

  12. 13
    Mike Hunt says:

    What a total Cunt!

  13. 18
    Blinkey B'tard says:

    Has he been using bath salts? They lead to paranoia.

  14. 20
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    It seems that the tweets from the media are trying to stick up for Balls. Just shows the bias from the left wing media, especially Kathy Newman of channel 4. No wonder she wears Red so often.

  15. 24
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    I am predicting that the sale of Royal baby memorabilia will turn around the economy.

  16. 25
    Power Crazed Balls says:

    I am so hyped up Guido

    That I score own goals without knowing why

    Do you think I should change my dope?

    Should I ask Baldwin which white stuff to take?

  17. 26
    Kent Walton says:

    Good afternoon grappling fans. Blinky v Gideon. Hardly battle of the titans. Just a submission or a death from boredom to decide the winner in this exchange.

    • 136
      Ancient mariner with ne'er a drop to drink says:

      Blimey! You still alive? My gran used to talk about you and I’m already over 60.

  18. 27
    Tax is theft says:

    Nice of D. Miliband to slum it in the HoC.

  19. 28
    Moussa Koussa Mark 3 says:

    Tittering on a TRIPLE DIP !!!!

    Keep on obsessing about Balls… shows how daft you really are.

  20. 29
    Who Want's Some?! says:

    Jesus, this lot play at a 6th form debating society while the country goes on the slide into an ominishitpit! They must have buggered the brains out of each other judging by this performance. Expect no solutions here I’m afraid, soon be time to dig up the cached arms and comms equipment and live off the land!

    • 47
      A 6th form debating society says:

      We resent the implicatiopn that our debates sink to the level refered to. Withdraw immediately.

  21. 32
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    Balls was absolutely dire. How and why does he keep his job.

    • 43
      Tom Watson says:

      Having been part of the Mcbride mafia, he knows where the bodies are buried.

    • 113
      Anonymous says:

      lets be honest, the labour front bench are dire.Why they all kept their jobs when they lost the election i have never been able to fathom,there again i suppose the rest of them are as bad.

      • 138
        Annie Seed-Balls (no relation!) says:

        Something to do with a half paragraph on page 874 on the Labour Party rules book.

  22. 37
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    Labour do have a policy, its NEGATIVITY.

  23. 38
    Nodders r Us says:

    Are Harriet and EdM auditioning to replace the Churchill dog?

  24. 39
    person on S London omnibus says:

    but is it RECTAL FISTITUDE?

  25. 44
    Jimmy says:

    It’s official. The Government front bench is populated entirely by 12 year old boys.

  26. 46
    Bovis Barrat says:

    The Curious Talent of Mr Balls: blink and you’ve missed it.

  27. 52
    Porn Economist @ Grauniad says:

    Balls up or balls down ? Polly – what do you think ?

  28. 56
    Tax is theft says:

    Dennis Skinner never has anything to say and says it too loudly however, it never stops the Squeeker from calling him.

    • 68
      I don't nee d no doctor says:

      Skinner should retire and let a younger person have his job. Its not about the money, is it Skinner?

      • 109
        Our parliamentary correspondent says:

        As Skinner’s job seems to be moaning old git how can you give it to a younger PERSON.

        • 118
          I don't nee d no doctor says:

          A moaning young git?

        • 122
          its bleak in sunderland says:

          Skinner has been there for forty two years and achieved absolutely f..k all,supposedly the Beast of Bolsover in reality a paper tiger spouting class rubbish while he lives off the back of working people.No doubt Skinner jnr will succeed him keeping in line with Labours dynasty politics

  29. 58
    Fracking Marvelous says:

    Good to see that george is pressing ahead with shale gas.

    Frackining is what turned around the US econonomy by turning it from an importer of energy to an exporter. It will be good for our economy too but I fear that these massive benefits will not be seen until after the next election. The new government should have hit the ground running and promoted fracking as soon as it was elected, probably those pesky Liberals were the fly in the ointment.

    Another point worth considering that Fracking in the US is not a Federal operation and is privately controlled and unfortunately George is setting up a new government quango to oversee it in the UK.

  30. 67
    IMHO says:

    The thing about Balls is, he would make exactly the same criticism of the Government whether the debt was rising or falling, which perhaps explains his confusion.

  31. 72
  32. 72
    Tax is theft says:

    Dame Joan Ruddock queries investment in green energy and wants the UK to meet the 2030 de-carbonisation target.
    I wonder if those living in Lewisham and Deptford agree that this is the biggest problem facing them and whether it is worth wasting an opportunity to question the chancellor regarding the Nation’s finances.

    • 88
      Johnny Ball says:

      The real madness is that we could reduce our carbon emmissions by 75% almost overnight if we used gas to generate our leccy. On the other hand windmills only produce 2% of our energy (when the wind is blowing) and it has cost a fortune and decades to achieve this.

      Interesting to listen to Johnny Ball explaining all this on Sky News, I suppose he is on the BBC Black list these days. Even coal genheration is 3 x more efficient than it was just a decade ago, nowt to do with carbon capture and all to do with turbine technolgy. He also pointed out that wind turbine blades do not spin fast enough to escape the effects of gravity which makes them very prone to mechanical failure.

      • 93
        I care more for my iPad than the environment says:

        Nuclear: Zero Carbon emissions so long as you don’t screw it up.

      • 96
        AGW is a man made scam says:

        I saw that – probably the most concise and effective put down of AGW that I’ve seen.
        If the enviro moonbats had their way, we’d have no electricity and be living in caves though of course, not eating animals or using artificial light.

        On a similar note, compare the number of seats held by the Green Party to the number of times a Green Party MP is called to speak…

      • 141
        Annie Seed-Balls (no relation!) says:

        “Mech failure”? The sooner the better then so we can get the all down out of the way. That alone would create at least 10 years worth of employment and lots of jobs.

    • 90
      Swampy the new age hippy says:

      ah Joan Ruddock the stinking man’s crumpet

  33. 76
    Prof Niall Ferguson of Harvard says:


    I want you to know that we at the Harvard Faculty have recently told Milliband and Balls to come to their senses

    We cannot have our reputation destroyed by “Plan B’ers B for B a n k r u p t” as Cameron so rightly said

    We reminded Ed Milliband that he taught here for e few months and that he must not tarnish our reputation

  34. 78
    Julian the Wonderhorse says:

    Not sure how Ed Balls thinks you can build 100,000 homes for £3.5 billion 4G license proceeds. Build a house for £35,000?

  35. 85
    Harbottle says:

    Things fall apart for a politician when they stop believing the bullshit party line they have signed up to. Has this happened to Balls?

  36. 91
    EdMillimong says:

    *thinks* How can I weave Millie Dowler into the debate about the deficit?

  37. 95
    IMHO says:

    Fucked-Dry, my suggested name for an action group against Politicians.

  38. 107
    Tax is theft says:

    Peter Bone MP asks how much the Government will have to borrow to conform to a target of 0.7% GDP for overseas aid – no answer came the reply.
    Nice to know your priorities George.

  39. 108
    Mrs Jack Dromey says:

    Men can’t be left alone to run the country.

  40. 112
    Lisnagunogue says:

    Watch Balls with the sound off, the two colleagues on either side look just like the little nodding dogs sometimes seen in rear car windows.

    • 116
      Anonymous says:

      The R 4 news has just aired a clip of Balls answering the chancellor, strangely enough they didnt play the jumbled up passage !

    • 119
      its bleak in sunderland says:

      One of them will be Chris Leslie a real creepy crawler used to be McMentalist photo copier a men promoted and indeed in a job well above his intellect but thats what being an arse licker brings you

  41. 120
    christine Kitchener of 5 Malivina Terrace Slough says:

    Dave Milliband loved that.

  42. 128
    The Old Codger says:

    Ed Balls – what a total waste of space – his riposte to Osborne was a complete train crash – oh dear!

  43. 129
    Brass Neck Miliband says:

    40p top rate of tax for millionaires, the abolition of the 10p tax band and a 75p rise for pensioners. That’s Labour in government for you. THE WEALTHY DID VERY WELL DURING THE LABOUR YEARS. THE WEALTHY DID VERY WELL DURING THE LABOUR YEARS. THE WEALTHY DID VERY WELL DURING THE LABOUR YEARS. Shall I go on…..Amnesia, amnesia, amnesia !

    • 143
      Annie Seed-Balls (no relation!) says:

      Why can’t Balls get it through his thick head that all the Chancellor is doing is allowing rich folk to KEEP MORE OF THEIR OWN MONEY rather than it being stolen by the government for ill defined uses?

  44. 131
    EdMillionnaireband says:

    Howth Dareth you cwiticise my bwass neckth!!

  45. 133
    Sally Bercow says:

    I cannot understand it. I sucked him off just before he went into the Commons and spat the jizsm right into his gob to give him socialist strenght.

    Actually I swallowed most of it cos I love him.

  46. 142
    Slugged her with me lead pipe in the library says:

    Dave and Gideon were too shit scared to stare out Balls, and looked away, the posh shitehouse faggots that they are, ey Beast of Bolsover?

    • 144
      Annie Seed-Balls (no relation!) says:

      They were pissing themselves laughing at him. Best comdy of the week that beats everything on the BBC channel.

      • 160
        kinell no.5 says:

        They were laughing at his stutter.The country is fcuked and that is all the twats can do,brilliant.

    • 147
      Back passage says:

      You get on my wick with your class war bullshit , labour and their supporters live in cloud cukoo land

      • 161
        George Osborne's bullshite crap Statement says:

        oh dear me! Fuck off back to Tory HQ child.

        And to say you over-priviledged sorts get on my wick, is an understatement friend. tosser.

  47. 145
    Arse says:


  48. 146
    R Soles says:

    Personally speaking the most outrageous thing in that Autumn Statement was the outrageous pledge to maintain 0.7% GDP being sent to foreign countries. That makes me sick to the pit of my stomach and would ensure that given the chance I’d hang those politicians by the fucking neck.

    • 151
      The savant8.5 says:

      Yes indeed. …..

      To quote. My hero meatloaf.

      If he s still. Alive. ..


  49. 152
    Lord Lupin says:

    At least he’s only ballsing up his speeches and not the economy.

  50. 155
    Tory voter says:

    He’s the arsonist trying to tell us to put out the fire by pouring fuel on it.

  51. 156
    Hadrian (Emp.) says:

    Unlike my Forum, you are poorly served by your representatives particularly the one seen “losing it” on the last two occasions, FFS.

  52. 162
    Richard Wood says:

    Ed balls’ constant nervous repetition of “Mr Speaker” throughout his reply sounded reminiscent of Norman Wisdom’s cry of “Mr Grimsdale!”. Clearly on the backfoot. He’d never cope with the cut and thrust of PQT as a future labour leader!!!

Seen Elsewhere

Mo Ansar’s Silence | Adrian Hilton
Gove Loses WWI Battle | Conservative Woman
5 Reasons Labour Likely to Win General Election | Sunny Hundal
Dave Surrounded By Topless Women | Sun
UN Loony says Britain Most Sexist Country | Sun
Farage is a Good Reason to Leave the EU | Dan Hannan
UKIP Blocked Expenses Questions | Times
NHS Showdown Coming | Paul Goodman
Sons of Brown | Telegraph
All Three Parties Mulling Leadership | Staggers
Isn’t George Great | Simon Jenkins

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads