December 4th, 2012

Polly Goes Crackers
Entire Column Riddled with Inaccuracy

pollyIf you’re about to launch yourself into an almighty rant about people you do not like being “inept” , it’s probably a good idea to make sure you get your facts right. Guido meant to complete this take down of Tuscany’s finest earlier, but got distracted. Polly Toynbee’s diatribe this morning was riddled with more mistakes than she owns houses. The entire premise of the article was a half-time review of the coalition, which Polly states is tomorrow, it seems pretty much everyone else disagrees. The Guardian‘s very own Patrick Wintour set it at  the beginning last month. He even wrote his own half time report…

She talks of “cutting into a slump has killed demand, paralysed investment and choked off growth”, wilfully blind to the fact that the ONS say retail was up 1.6% in October on the year, and 4.9% since 2010. Consumer confidence is also up – seven points in one month – and the UK currently enjoys the highest business confidence in the EU. It’s hardly much to write home about, nevertheless you could be forgiven for thinking Polly is ignoring the fact that GDP increased by 1% in Q3. Note that she can’t explain what is going on with the employment figures either.

Polly concludes: “This is the world of Smythson of Bond Street, headed by Cameron’s wife”. A basic fact-check from a sub would have thrown up the fact that SamCam quit “heading up” Smythson in May 2010. The whole thing is wrong from top to bottom.

Did anyone even read it before it went to print?


  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    Maybe they had to sack the sub editors to make sure Pollys pay wasnt cut.

    • 11
      Prince William says:

      Great news, Kate! They’ve changed the rules for Royal succession! You don’t need the abortion after all!

      • 23

        Apart from Guido, did anyone read it AFTER it went to print

        No one outside of the Westminster Media Circus reads Polly Twaddle’s Doodle’s every day

        and much less cares

        • 42
          Tachybaptus says:

          You forgot the BBC circus, where it gets read, and then read out as news.

          • 99.9% of people don't know what a Polly is says:

            How many houses has S*aines got? Is he still claiming to be part Oir*sh?

          • Have a read says:

            2012 has been the worse year since 2008, when 5,793 stores closed and more than 74 thousand employees lost their jobs. Compared to 2008, only two-third of the number of stores and employees have been affected.


          • Anonymous says:

            Are we still on Plan A?

          • Sir Dando Tweakeshafte says:

            I’m reminded of the late Peter Cook’s amusing turn as the even later Lord Stockton:

            “…When I said “that ghastly woman”, I didn’t call her ghastly just because she’s a woman, and I didn’t call her a woman just because she’s ghastly. But she IS a woman, and she IS ghastly…”

          • Fishy says:

            Good read this. But can’t stay, I’d better get back on-line and order the rest of my Chrissie presents. These on-line retailers are that busy, if I don’t, they may not be able to deliver on time.

          • Thomas says:

            Yes, It does seem that this recession is all Polly’s fault.

        • 61
          What's Left? says:


          No body read it AFTER it was in print.

        • 88
          Anonymous says:

          Has any of you visited the high streets or visited shopping centers?

          Charity shops, cheap takeaways and bookies opening while shops, restaurant, etc closing isn’t a sign than retail trading is going up.

        • 93
          HenryV says:

          The Guardian was always sold out by 0930 at the campus shop so yes it is read outside Westminster. Often held up in tutorials as a good source too.

          • HenryV says:

            Not that I bought it……..

          • Anonymous says:

            No, well, you didn’t get up earlier enough did you ? Idle git.

          • Latimer Alder says:

            You’d have thought the uni authorities could have provided bog roll…bit primitive making you buy your own in the campus shop

          • Polly to me to you to me says:

            Thought it was an alright article myself – she is a journalist after all, not some plonker is some top floor office in The City. The Coalition has cut the legs off the economy, when it needed mortgaging over a few decades and to keep it ticking over after 2008′s fun and games. Hard to stick legs back on when they have been chopped off.

          • Annie Seed-Balls says:

            Well the woman lives hundreds of miles away in Italy. How the F*8* can she be expected to know what is actually going on in high streets around the country?

        • 318
          Bill says:

          It’s up to Guido and others to broadcast this nonsense and class divide warrior.

          Then for the public to stop reading it.

          Unfortunately there is always going to be a ‘Tasmanian devil’ section of society that wants to believe it.

        • 355
          idiot groupie says:

          i know a couple of idiots who probably read it

        • 367
          nadia says:

          it doesn’t matter what she says either. if you are of a left wing persuasion it will be correct irrespective of the actual facts.

          likewise, if you believe that a degree rise in world temperature will be the end of mankind and that it is the unique responsibility of this generation to ‘save the planet’ – then it doesn’t matter what George Monbiot actual says – it is correct anyway.

      • 28
        UKIPman says:

        “cutting into a slump has killed demand, paralysed investment and choked off growth”

        No, Polly you ignorant cow, raising the higher rate tax from 40 to 50% has killed demand, paralysed investment and choked off growth. Why would any wealth creator, who couldn’t avoid paying taxes here bother to create jobs and invest in this country when it will be punished if it is successful?

        You can’t answer that honestly Polly nor can anyone else from the hate business army.

        • 36
          tourmaline says:

          You can’t expect the very wealthy pollytwaddle to understand the basics of economics anymore than gordon or bullyballs did.

          These folks live in a priveleged bubble that think caviar is something you have on toast for breakfast .

        • 49
          Gooey Blob says:

          Precisely. If Polly wants to see her Utopian socialist dreams in action, she should look across the channel to France, a country with obscene state spending whose economy is on the brink of collapse.

        • 50
          George Osborne says:

          Ah the hate business army, I’m a proud member. That’s why I put up taxes in a recession, forced up fuel and energy costs, am about to introduce a carbon tax and raid everyones pensions. I WILL make the pips squeak, on that you can depend. We MUST keep taxing and spending, until there is no middle class left.

        • 77
          Anonymous says:

          £5 billion cut should be given off as tax cuts and benefits, in a way that will be spent few times within UK. If its used for building most of it will go out of the country as building materials, profits, transfer pricing, labours sending it out to families, etc.

          What we need is, this money to be spent again and again within this country. Even giving it as tax cuts and changing for schools (say £1,000 a year) will make the money pass few hands and create employment.

          • Grumpy Old Man says:

            Keynes has a lot to answer for.

          • JH5524232a says:

            Don’t blame Keynes. His theory was basically that government should

            1. Save lots of money in the good times.
            2. When a downturn comes around, spunk it about the place and pray it does some good for the wider economy.

            The problem is, politicians seem perpetually locked into phase 2. They don’t even acknowledge phase 1 is possible.

          • Anonymous says:

            I don’t care whether the policy is right, centre or left; I am interested only in the outcome.

            Outcome is, this government’s economic plan hasn’t worked, economy is becoming worse and worse.

          • LeagleBeagle says:

            The problem is fraud.

            Govenment has been running a hokey set of books just like Robert Maxwell, Bernie Maddoff, and Equitable life.

            The only difference between the above and Clegg, Brown, Cameron, etc, is one of scale.

   Page 4.

            Just for the pensions, that’s 4,700 bn off the books, with above inflation increases each year

          • Captn P says:

            Socialist economic theory… The re-circulation of money.

            The problem is nothing is created whilst the phony money is swilled around the toilet bowl. You probably also think you can make a perpetual motion machine as well.

            What the UK economy needs is a massive reduction in taxes and regulation, what we will get is some bullshit about “investment” in government services and increases in taxes and public debt.

            I’m with Tony Baloney on this one … Education, Education, Education … Economic education please.

          • Anonymous says:

            Captn P; when you get paid, you will go and buy stuff. Shop you bought staff from pay staff and go and buy more stuff to sell again. It goes on and on until bit by bit it get saved or goes out of the country. This is how money goes around and around. This is what Osborne, Cameron and Clegg didn’t understand when they cut too much out of the economy.

            When you pay most of it to Eastern EU builders or imported raw materials most of it goes out and doesn’t goes around and around with in UK.

            Paying £2bn to build windmill in China or Germany and installing in Africa is not going to help UK economy either.

            Problem with education is lots of money is wasted on kids who doesn’t study and teachers who cannot teach. These kids might have other talents UK does encourage it.

          • misterneddy says:

            Anonymous, the government does not create money to “spend in this country” you cretin. They steal it from people and companies who have borrowed or earned it.

            We need the government to slash taxes and regulations on businesses, especially businesses which export. You know, as in sell overseas to bring in a lot more money from overseas INTO this country which could then be circulated here, taxed here and do good here.

            If the money has not been earned, the government can’t spend it.

        • 261
          Polly to me to you to me says:

          Keep drinking your Starmegabucks mochas will you, you fantacist. Growth? – my arse! Smoke and mirrors panicky cooking the books it is. Hope Balls is ready to respond to tomorrows wall to wall bullshite from boy Georgie O.

          • misterneddy says:

            Balls will respond, with even more bullshit.

          • Slugged her with me lead pipe in the library says:

            Think Georgie was well up the otherside of the scale from Balls today, on the bullshite scale.

            Song for Georgie Porgy puddin’ and pie, the rich posho he is. Posh wallpaper? MY FAT ARSE!

            They’re from Oz, so could be preggers topical today here abouts.

    • 22
      green ink says:

      polly never one to let inconvenient truth get in the way of a column … and why no-one takes anything she writes seriously

    • 48
      Dave and his NWO says:

      Potty Tuscanee is a simple device, who’s only known use is to convert champagne into piss.

      • 53
        cynic says:

        I think this piece is probably informed by that well know source – 2 bottles of Barolo

      • 63
        Old Tory Bigot says:

        Actually it’s ‘Prosecco into piss’ to quote the inventor of this phrase.

        I feel the aliterative quality of ‘prosecco and piss’ works better and is more geographically fitting.

        • 306
          Annie Seed-Balls says:

          So, if I have this right, what you are saying is the Prescott prosecco-ed several million pounds up the wall with his land clearance schemes

      • 354
        Margaret Hodge -(Vice) Chairman of something or other. says:

        I fully agree with the millionairess Pretty Polly Toynbee and all who listen to her.

    • 84
      Anonymous says:

      As Guido say if retail sales is health, shops will be opening and even Comet will not be in administration. If you go to most high street or shopping complexes you will see lots of closed shops.

    • 91
      Dr Spock says:

      Proof checking and reading is for plebs. Just make it up instead.

      Could Polly up the duff too? Raging hormones cause funny things.

    • 144
      abunnga says:

      retarted bint

      • 240
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Retarded is a better word – Polly is the product of her demented socialist marxist father and will always be that way – ‘cos she lives in denial.

    • 246
      Big Bellender says:

      Did you think of that all yourself?

      Do you know what an apostrophe can be used for?

    • 370
      James Traynor says:

      She made more mistakes than she has houses? 100+ in an article she should leave the journalistic pofession for bringing it into disrepute!

  2. 2
    Operation Crossbow says:

    It doesn’t go to print, Polly wipes her arse with the paper and the Guardian then duplicate it.

    • 131
      Red Egg Millitit..... says:

      A pig in knickers perhaps?

      A rather rich one of course otherwise she would not be pushing the leftist diatribe :)

    • 250
      Anonymous says:

      Osborne want to cut Whitehall and save £5bn to build school for 50,000 kids. Issue is he has to find teachers, pay them, other cost to run the school, etc.

      Also find 50,000 kids who doesn’t go to school and money to pay benefits most of the ex Whitehall staff. Where is Osborne going to find the extra money?

      • 264
        Operation Crossbow says:

        Do a Gordon and print it. Fact is Osborne isn’t a Tory and hasn’t got a clue.

      • 309
        Day dreamer says:

        Well, he could start by closing DIfD (or ODA or whatever they call themselves this week), stopping all overseas aid, closing about 500 qangos along with Ministry of Equalities, dispensing with 200 million outreach, diversity and apprentice dog-walking officers; cutting mandarin salaries (pro rata for lower scales) and local government funds by 75%; removing 100% of Pilgrims and all the other scams used to indirectly fund the Liebore Party.

        Then we might have a clearer picture of where we actually stand.

  3. 3
    Jimmy says:

    “If you’re about to launch yourself into an almighty rant about people you do not like being “inept” , it’s probably a good idea to make sure you get your facts right.”

    That’s quite a shift in editorial policy. Laudable, but do you have the staff to implement it?

  4. 4
    fruitcake says:

    But she does look quite a sexy brickie.

  5. 5
    Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles says:

    She’s quite a honey

  6. 6
    Fatty Pang says:

    When we had lunch at Claridges Polly hid her face in the oysters hoping not to be recognised by Samantha Cameron who was also lunching there. Polly slurped and dribbled her way through a dozen of Kent’s finest

    Polly suffers from halitosis so be nice to her

  7. 7
    Second hand car dealer (Cayman Isles) says:

    Inaccurate pish in the Graun? It’s hard to believe. Next you’ll be telling us that Moonbat doesn’t have the gift of prophecy!

    • 12
      tourmaline says:

      Ah monbiot – didn’t he say that british seas would rise by 3ft by 2010 or something and most of norfolk would flooded?

      • 17
        Operation Crossbow says:

        Has he been sued yet?

      • 19
        Maqboul says:

        No such luck.

      • 64
        A Doomsday Profit says:

        The seas did rise and the temperature has risen by 1 degree since 1997, in a spiritual sense. Only the True Believer can perceive this for he (or, as the case may be, she) is not as other men or women. Repent ye, repent ye, for Gaia is full wroth!

    • 59
      Gooey Blob says:

      One half expect to see articles about WW2 bombers being found on the moon or lovesick gardeners marrying lettuces when looking through the pages. That’s if you’re lucky enough to find a newsagent who stocks it.

      Circulation is dropping fast, doubt they’ll get near 200,000 next year. How much lower can it go before the plug is pulled?

  8. 8
    tourmaline says:

    The only reason I read pollytwaddle is for a good laugh!!

    • 94
      Stalin says:

      I jump straight to the comments. Much more entertaining than the pravda-esque tosh above the line.

  9. 9
    Lizzie says:

    Did anyone read it before it went to print? Probably about as many as the number who read it after it went to print …

  10. 10
    Red Len says:

    Guido mission statement: “The British blogosphere was at that time full of wannabee Telegraph and Guardian leader writers and a lot of “Fisking” – the tedious line-by-line critique of long boring articles in the form of an even longer, even more boring article.”

    Clearly this website has forgotten why it exists…..

  11. 13
    Nonjob says:

    Toynbee is living proof that, just like council chiefs on £150K a year, you can wind up in a position of affluence and influence, despite being a total fool.

    • 30
      tourmaline says:

      Rather like Executive Directors of Childrens Services!!

      Only have to look at Rotherham, thatshoesmith woman and rochdale to see what sort of people get those highly paid £100K plus a year jobs.

      The only thing you can say about them for sure is that they despise children and families.

    • 35

      The FSA sharing a building with Lehman Brothers that was opened by Gordon Brown is the prime example

    • 108
      HenryV says:

      But what does that say about our society that the likes of Pollytwaddle and Gordon Brown. flawed deluded individuals, rise to the top? Why do the majority let it happen?

    • 195
      Alex says:

      You know what they say – in the public sector people get promoted to their level of incompetence.

  12. 14
    Riggsy Brown says:

    Why would anyone be surprised? Potty Toynbee never lets facts spoil an anti-Coalition rant. She’s been writing and spouting fact-lite cr*p for years.

  13. 21
    Rupert my Hero says:

    So when do we get ” Guido’s” little book of ” Put Downs ” A must for all stockings, don’t keep us in suspenders, do it now.

  14. 24
    Wyatt Bell says:

    Did anybody apart from Guido read it after it went to print?

  15. 25
    popsider says:

    She has also wrongly stated that HMRC will administer universal credit.Its the DWP. But she’s right about it being a car crash though.

  16. 29
    EdMiliband says:

    I endorse it in it’s entirity (ps I haven’t read it)

    • 32
      tourmaline says:

      Strange we haven’t heard from militwit for yonks – surely to get his public profile up he needs to be calling for another public inquiry into why it’s snowing up north or something!!

      • 45
        Red Ed nobody says:

        I demand a judge led enquiry into why I have’nt jumped on a bandwagon in the last week.

        • 178
          Fitbad the Tailor says:

          Surely you mean an Overarching Inquiry with Statutory Underpinning.

        • 310
          Day dreamer says:

          He was on Sky yesterday telling all what we want. When are Sky going to employ intelligent journalists who know (and have the guts) to pose searching questions to idiot politicians?

      • 62
        Global Warming Liar says:

        Snow in winter is a thing of the past, children will have to watch footage of times gone by, to see what all the fuss was about. Winters will become ever warmer and wetter while summers will be hotter and dryer for everyone, drought will be commonplace and water shortages regular…..etc……etc….etc…. ad nauseum…….

        • 75
          tourmaline says:

          Yep I remember reading something from that professor somebody or other at the UEA Norwich that said we folks in the East need to set our gardens with cactii because we weren’t going to be able to grow plants for much longer. LOL!!

          We’ve had temeperatures this week falling to minus 2 and told to expect minus12 this winter and we’ve had so much rain lately even the reservoirs are overflowing. Not exactly condition conducive to growing cacti – good for cabbage though!!

          Wait for it – they’ll be reversing their scientific twaddle very soon and telling us that this too is the result of anthropogenic global warming!!

          • Climate Change Tautology says:

            Keep up with the spin. :-)

          • Day dreamer says:

            I demand a new expression to replace “brass monkeys”.

          • misterneddy says:

            They have changed the name again. Those climate alarmist nutcases now call it, “global weirding” because they claim that the weather is now too weird to be natural.

            They are certifiably insane.

  17. 31
    BIJ says:

    She’s talented as P Schofield

  18. 34
    I'm Shami Chakrabati and I didn't need to grow a moustache for Movember. says:

    I help Polly out by being her token ethnic friend.

  19. 37
    Tom Watson MP and Fat Bastard says:

    Pollys so ugly even I wouldn’t fuck her………….

  20. 40
    Anonymous says:

    olympics is the reason those figures you quote look good….

  21. 41
    Jen The Blue says:

    The Biased Broadcasting Corporation love Toynbee. She is always spouting crap on it.

    I would have thought that an article of bullshit by Ms. Toynbee wouldn’t be worthy of a comment by Guido.

    Now if she wrote one that contained some logic or sense that would be a different matter.

  22. 47
    Ed Balls(Chancellor Of The Exchequer Designate) says:

    Now even the professionals say we’re shafted.

    Hard Luck George Osborne

    Business confidence falls again as real economy takes a hits, reveals global survey of finance professionals

    • 55
      Anonymous says:

      You haven’t really understood what ‘global’ means, have you?

      • 73
        Really? says:

        You don’t understand what increasing taxes in a recession or making energy and fuel more expensive in a recession means either, do you?

        Never mind, gormless Gideon is about to raise taxes even more, introduce a carbon tax AND raid everyones pension next, that should work right?

        What could possibly go wrong?

        • 104
          Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

          Nothing else could go wrong. Gordon and I slashed and burned everything we could lay our hands on during The Reign of Terror 1997-2010. #DamnosaHereditas

    • 312
      Annie Seed-Balls says:

      Financial professionals??? Weren’t these the bastards that got us into this mess in the first place? they should all be completely ignored.

  23. 52
    cynic says:

    Can we soon report her to the Reichsfuhrer for Press Articles or will those rules not apply to the Guardian? Will she take top publishing from Italy?

  24. 54
    Polly and Garfunkel says:

    I have my books
    And my poetry to protect me
    I am shielded in my armor
    Hiding in my room
    Safe within my womb
    I touch no-one and no-one touches me
    I am a rock
    I am an island.

  25. 58
    Guardian of fuck all. says:

    Guardian is utter crap.

  26. 60
    Brown out and pay me damages says:

    What a pile of utter tripe. Twaddle. The Guardian is appalling.

  27. 66
    ancientpopeye says:

    “Did anyone even read it before it went to print?”

    Obviously not Polly the twit.

  28. 71
    Polly put Martin Kettle on says:

    Toynbee was lauding her mate MacShane the day before they booted him out for being a crook:

    ‘But the state of national opinion bears witness to their lack of any attempt to make the pro-Europe case – except for the tireless former Europe minister Denis MacShane.’

    A real finger-on-the-pulse journalist.

  29. 74
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Hey ho…..

    • 118
      Clegg is a dangerous arsonist says:

      Where have I been today ?

    • 152
      Little Nicky I-did-so-want-to-be-a-prime-minister-one-day Clegg says:

      One little prick is all it takes to poop a party.

    • 207
      Nogbad the Bad says:

      The fall in support for the Lib Dems just shows what a bunch of shits most of their voters were. Cleggy was handed the opportunity to put at least some of their policies into practice and to moderate the policies of the Tories, both which he seems to have done. If the ex Lib Dem voters were anything other than an unprincipled, shallow, weird-beard cabal of cnuts, they would have stuck with their party for at least getting involved. Would they rather have stayed out of it and sniped from the sidelines? if so why the fuck did anyone ever vote for them? If the LD’s had, by some miracle, got enough seats to form a government, would they be doing anything different? Not much, if at all. When the coalition breaks up, just watch the arseholes start to vote LD again.

      • 360
        misterneddy says:

        The vast majority of Liberal Democrat voters were purely clueless left wing anti-government activists. They could not vote labour, because labour were the government, they could not vote tory, because … well, they are tories, and they see themselves as being nice, caring, sensitive, compassionate people who could associate with the bullshit that the lib-dems were spouting week-in week-out.

        But they never ever expected that the pro PR party would ever be part of a coalition and then they have dumped their own party for having the gall to actually be part of a coalition government and introduce some lib-dem policies. As soon as the Lib-dems did that, half of their supporters dumped them and switched to labour, who implemented so many policies that these lib-dem idiots hated.

        It shows that there is about 12% of the voting electorate, who now support labour, who are cretinous, fuckwits who are only anti-government. When labour win in 2015, they will dump labour and return to either the liberal democrats, or some other left wing bunch of idiots

  30. 80
    Makka Pakka says:

    Makka Pakka

  31. 82
    bergen says:

    It’s the complete lack of honest doubt, irony and humour in her writing that I find so disconcerting. I suspect if she has never once confessed to being wrong about anything ever. That is the true mark of the statist mindset.

  32. 85
    Anonymous says:
    • 87
      Anonymous says:

      Thought all aid to Uganda had been stopped?

      The UK is working with Norway, Germany and Uganda on the “Get Fit” project and will make a £14 million contribution. This will support the development and completion of small-scale on-grid renewable energy projects in Uganda in an effort to both avoid an energy shortfall and promote private sector investment.

    • 89
      Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

      You mean there’s weather else where in the world, how terrible!

      • 141
        its bleak in sunderland says:

        We will be amongst the worlds poor in about a decade will we get any help?

        • 154
          Aricolza Narzole says:

          We’re certainly going to see an energy short-fall before long on account of the lack of proper new power stations.

    • 161
      Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP says:

      We’ve got money to burn ! As long as there are no carbon emissions from the fire.

    • 212
      umpah umpah, stick it up your jumpa says:

      The Sahara was once a green belt, until changes in wind patterns turned it into a desert. Must have been the ancient Egyptian industrial revolution which cause it.

  33. 90
    Vazoline says:

    The woman’s always been as bonkers as I am greasy and without a shred of integrity.

  34. 92
    john hill. says:

    the tragedy of early(??) onset senile dementia..

  35. 95
    UKIP.i.ain't says:

    Ed Balls Says Osborne’s Fiscal Cliff Plan Doesn’t Go Far Enough……..And for once I agree with Ed Balls.

  36. 98
    mraemiller says:

    “GDP increased by 1% in Q3″

    Wow, let’s break open the can of baked beans

  37. 99
    David Cameron says:

    And someone at Tory HQ needs to get this taken down ASAP:

    • 127
      UK Stats WatchDog (Woof) says:

      Yes – the following is factually incorrect:

      . We have increased the NHS budget in real terms in each of the last two years.

      Someone borrowed the deputy PM’s abacus it would appear.

    • 157
      Briony Cox says:

      Looks like a portal to a parallel universe.

  38. 100
    8illy 8owden, the world's greatist umplre says:


    Prince William leaves hospital in central London where his wife, Kate, is being treated for severe morning sickness

    FFS, we’ve now got 9 months of this shit.

  39. 102
    The Waft of Hypocrisy says:

    Pretty (sic) Polly, so much money, so many houses, so much champagne, the very best that socialist hypocrisy can buy. Sadly, a face that befits the Jeremy Kyle show.

    • 329
      Bojo's bike says:

      Phew! I thought you were going to talk about the rear end of my lovely buses there for a minute!

  40. 106
    Anonymous says:

    This country is not in a recession.

    Instead, we continue to live beyond our means, as does the Government itself. We are currently enabled to do this by borrowing and printing money. Sooner or later (probably sooner) reality will catch up with us.

    When that happens, the first thing that will have to be disposed of is the parasitic end of the public sector, as represented by the Guardian newspaper and the BBC.

    • 112
      HenryV says:

      Are you saying The Guardian is an organ of the state?

      • 129
        its bleak in sunderland says:

        Spot on analysis by anon,the whole of Western and Southern Europe living beyond its means as power economic and political moves East and wont be coming back soon.If Osborne has the balls he announce cits in the public sector comensurate with the crisis we face.Just a couple of examples Local Authority spending to be cut by a further 15per cent with a five freeze on any increase in council tax.Benefit Cap to be reduced from the present proposed 26000 pa to 16000pa,Child Benefit to be payable only to twi children as from 2013,Sadly we will get the same old fudge just dealying the inevitable.

        • 206
          Anonymous says:

          “as power, economic and political moves East and wont be coming back soon.”

          Like several hundreds of years.

      • 145
        St Alan of Kings Place says:

        We would fucking love to be.

        Imagine all that lovely other-peoples-money, doled out by people desperate for the approval of our typical reader.

        Imagine the headquarters we could have with that lot. The current one is getting tatty.

      • 330
        Bojo's bike says:

        A mouth organ?

  41. 107
    I'm Shami Chakrabati and I didn't need to grow a moustache for Movember. says:

    I want to lez up with Polly.

  42. 109
    Sally Bercow says:

    Leave Pol alone. *angry face* She’s a legend. *proud face* She’s done so much for ordinary people. *Brave journalist* You people r horrid. *Indignant* I’m going to let off some steam. *Gets into position to be spit roasted*

  43. 113
    John Prescott says:

    Polly gives me the horn.

  44. 115
    IMHO says:

    A Mother Goose Nursery Rhyme

    Polly Put the Kettle on poem

    Polly put the kettle on,
    Polly put the kettle on,
    Polly put the kettle on,
    We’ll all have tea.
    Sukey take it off again,
    Sukey take it off again,
    Sukey take it off again,
    They’ve all gone away.

    • 333
      Confushus says:

      Little boy blue come blow up your horn.
      The sheep’s in the meadow, the cow’s in the corn.
      But where is the boy who looks after the sheep?
      He’s down in the haystack with Little Bo Peep.

  45. 119
    Polly Toynbee says:

    I’m drinking Bollinger on the balcony of my Tuscan villa. I hope you, the little people, are coping without me.

  46. 122
    Wot if? says:

    2 Kings or 2 Queens Or 1 king and 1 Queen

    What if Kate has twins born by Caesarian and they are whipped out together?

    • 146
      Mr Helpful says:

      Ah, now I’ve thought of an answer to that one. England has to be split North and South. The caesarian twins are given IQ tests at age 10. The thicker one becomes monarch of the North, the relatively cleverer one (this is royalty, so there’s substantial inbreeding) gets the South.

      • 176
        Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

        And by then probably has to convert – the cleverer one that is.

    • 335
      His (or hers) terectomy says:

      Learn your history of the 2 princes in the tower. Same solution then try again.

  47. 123
    IanH says:

    I’m sure I read hear that the Grauniad had sold of their old bangers why do we care that the champagne solcialist, 3 house pratt has an uneployed ex Audit Commission husband

  48. 124
    The Woolworths fire of Prizes says:

    Giz a light.

  49. 126
    Too soon? says:

    Polly’s credibility is as dead as a Dodi. Geddit!?!

    • 136
      Red Egg Millitit..... says:

      Has the pig in knickers ever lived in Local Authority Housing ??

      If not she should f*ck off and keep her gob shut !!

  50. 140
    UKIPman says:

    Press Freedom Index. UK 28th between Slovakia and Niger.,1043.html

    • 164
      Jez says:

      Nigel Farage is probably the only reason I have become interested in politics again, a breath of fresh air and common sense.

    • 324
      JH324234 says:

      Our press certainly is not free.

      You don’t seem to be allowed to publish anything unless it is a load of left wing handwringing shite.

  51. 151
    just asking... says:

    how about £50 billion of QE to kickstart the economy george ?

  52. 155
    phew what an old stinker says:

    Custard gussett

  53. 158
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    Good golly Miss Polly,
    You talk a load of balls,
    Good golly Miss Polly,
    Your good for fuck all.

  54. 171
    Julia Middleton CEO Common Purpose says:

    Polly Toynbee is one of my favorite useful idiots

  55. 172
    O/T Dave C Tweets and says:

    FFS Totes do this now or AFU. @anusbridger, HMRC CWYL – GMG Tax? TTFN

  56. 173
    I don't want to share the same air as the Edinburgh dogshit says:

    She is a pathetic old hag.

  57. 174
    Lord Lupin says:

    Polly of her trolly? Even her own readers think so. Recommendations are thin on the ground for my comments in the People’s Daily but when I have a go at Polly I get them by the hundreds. It’s time to hang up her poison pen though I will miss her.

  58. 180
    Ed Balls says:

    I have been told that she smells of stale piss

  59. 181
    Ed Miliband (Prime Minister designate) says:

    LATEST:The statistics watchdog has called on ministers to correct claims that the Conservative led coalition,bunch of lying toerags, has increased NHS spending.
    Bunch of lying bastards.

    • 191
      Joss Ayinglike says:

      Said the biggest liar of the lot.

    • 192

      Was it a zero percent increase ?

    • 205
      Labour. The Party of brazen murderous liars. says:

      WMDs! Iraq! 45 minutes!! No more than 13,000 Poles will move here! Immigration is vital for our economy! We’ll give you a referendum on the EU constitution! An end to single-sex wards! Everyone will have access to an NHS dentist! Ethical foreign policy (only 150,000 dead)! Education education education! Prudence! No more boom and bust!

      And so on and so forth.

      • 239
        Sir John Reid says:

        Don’t forget Afghanistan! Not a shot will be fired in anger. Hahaha how I said that with a straight face I’ll never know. The proles swallowed that one Tony..good plan!

      • 366
        Anonymous says:

        No top down reorganisation of the NHS,goona get rid of the deficit and so on, and so on. And it’s under 3 years.

  60. 185
    Fishy says:

    A new e-petition for those who value a free press. Not one that will be appreciated by Milibandwagon, Mosley, Grant and Coogan who all know better than the rest of us plebs

  61. 186
    FCAer says:

    She has the same problem as the ex- prime mentalist GBH Brown.

    Their “support staff” just love seeing them make complete tits of themselves.

  62. 187
    Dungheap Brown. The magical tu®d. says:

    She is going senile. Poor cow.

  63. 189
    Miriam says:

    Pretty Polly on Wikipedia.

    After 18 months at Oxford, she dropped out, finding work in a factory and a burger bar and hoping to write in her spare time.

    Should have stuck to the day job.Would you like fries with that?

  64. 193
    The magical retarded fuck. says:

    Polly is a mentalist on a bad day and a surrealist on a good day. Who’d thunk it.

  65. 200
    Libertarians are pro immigration...ask cast iron promise Dave says:

    A bottle of 2010 Vieux Remparts Chateauneuf du Pape is only £9.99 in Aldi

  66. 202
    My column is infested with gayers. says:

    Does anybody actually wake up in the morning and think, “Right, I must find out what Polly Toynbee thinks of this.” ? The Guardian and the fucking hapless BBC obviously think so.

    • 208
      The BBC: £3.6billion pissed down the toilet every year. says:

      Yeah, but that’s why no-one reads the Guardian and it’s going bust.

      But the BBC survives, “due to the unique way” it’s funded. ie, pay for it even though you don’t watch it, listen to it or read its website, or you’ll go to prison.

      • 214
        Nogbad the Bad says:

        Does any other country make its people pay for the establishments propaganda machine?

        • 215
          Anonymous says:

          North Korea?

        • 216
          The BBC: £3.6billion pissed down the toilet every year. says:

          North Korea.

          • DPRK Ministry of People's Security says:

            Our people are very glad to pay for their enlightened news.

            We would draw the line at GMG materiel though as such is not beneficial to harmonious tuning of society.

            We would like AutoTrader subscription renewed. Thank you.

          • Abolish the BBC says:

            Talking of BBC/North Korea news, on the BBC 6 o’clock news tonight, Toenails Robinson was whining on about – and I quote – “the borrowing is increasing, the debt is increasing”.

            Well fuck me. Borrowing and debt increasing? What? Together? Who’d have thought it?

            Obviously, in the wonderful world of BBC lefty thinking, borrowing can go up whilst debt goes down.

          • misterneddy says:

            Yup, they believed in Gordon Brown’s attempts borrow our way out of the enormous debt run up in 2008 as over a million private sector jobs were lost in labour’s slaughter of our economy… (I don’t remember the BBC giving a shit about those jobs being lost as unemployment shot upwards)

            Now 4 years later, the private sector has just about managed to cope with the less than half million public sector jobs lost because the labour government spent everything it had and hundreds of billions more besides, leaving nothing left to pay these fools.

            The BBC still wail on about savage cuts to the public sector.

            One public cut I would like to see? The entire fucking BBC shut down, overnight. They can rent out broadcasting house and BBC television centre to home the illegal immigrants and pikeys that the BBC have so much sympathy for.

      • 242
        National Socialist says:

        “But the BBC survives, “due to the unique way” it’s funded. ie, pay for it even though you don’t watch it, listen to it or read its website, or you’ll go to prison”

        I guess the same applies to the Royal family

  67. 204
    Pollee Tuscanee says:

    Giorgio – I need my chimney swept!

  68. 217
    Pre-Leveson Journalist says:

    What is worrying is that whilst we are slagging off this worthless bint, looks like Syria is going to get put through the wood chipper. Priorities ? (Oh – and f*ck off Polly)

    • 221
      Post Leveson Journalist says:

      Polly’s copy is actually in line with current government thinking, I think she has a fair point. Her factual error were corrected by the relevant Ministries later that afternoon.
      (Oh – and f*ck off Polly)

    • 222
      Libertarians are gay says:

      But then Leveson is probably a closet I’sre’al firster, so the cosmopolitans will be really happy happy about Sy’ria being ripe for regime change.

      BTW – listening to Baroness Warsi on R4′s Today this morning warning that “all options are on the table” re an attack on Iran was a severe case of schadenfraude for this lapsed Muslim.

      • 227
        retardEd Miliband says:

        I think we thould drop bombth on Iran.

        Ath Prime Minithter, that’th what I’d do.

        For family reathonth, you underthtand.

      • 356
        BBC Disinfotainment Commissioning Team says:

        Leveson being an Israel-firster? better than being a ‘progressive’-lefty jeehaddy theo-fash fister.

        Lapsed Muslims are the best muslims, you should, by now, be aware.

  69. 218
    count alucard, blueprint for lefties says:

    Blood suckers and vampires are big at CBBC.

  70. 225
    James Bong says:

    Polly appear very confused, she should give up the bullshittering

    • 248
      Fairy Hanny. says:

      Kebab time, is that you?

    • 251
      Blowing Whistles says:

      Perhaps polly is suffering from dementia or something else – as she slowly realises that all she has stood for, for all of her life is one big fat lie?

  71. 226
    Saffron says:

    Polly wolly brain dead twaddle is just about the most obnoxious writer with limited intelligence ever.
    This champagne socialist personifies what the marxist/leftie brigade is all about,we have the bullshit broadcasting corp: spewing out their left propaganda and they are supposed to be impartial.
    Add to this common purpose stooges all over the place and this is a recipe of were this country is heading.
    Do the Cons recognise this and will do something about it,I for one don’t think so,it is up to us the majority to stop the crap that is happening dead in it’s tracks.

  72. 232
    Nicholas Witchell says:

    Am I the only one that hopes Kate will die during child birth?

  73. 247
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Polanski is a child abusing mongrel on the run for years. innit odd that the US don’t put as much effort into getting him extradited to the US as Assange? Forked-tongue anybody?

    Hodge is known to have evaded (for some or othere or multiple reasons) from her failures to act or do anything proper about child abuse for years.

    I wonder if Polly and Hodge ever meet in secret to talk about Marxism etc?

    • 258
      Apprentice shrink. says:

      Hmm been a long day has it? you are probably right about everything you say even in the disjointed way you present it but you seem a bit tired and emotional and by the way I mostly agree with every thing you have said,just try and have a rest.

    • 347
      Wun Hu Noz says:

      No, they mostly discuss their bank accounts and offshore hideaways.

    • 359
      BBC Disinfotainment Commissioning Team says:

      Get some perspective. Polanski has f*cked over one unfortunate person in his time. The golden boy of the left and embassy-bound onanist has done rather better than that. And that’s aside from the allegations of r@pe and sexual assault in Sweden.

  74. 252
    Blowing Whistles says:

    When is Polly going to scream out and use the ‘Anti-Semitism’ thingy to silence her critics?

    • 281
      Socialism is generalized National Socialism says:

      Probably never as she is a confirmed atheist, and has publicly stated that she herself is critical of all religions equally.

      • 290
        jaded jean says:

        Look up prof Kevin b MacDonald on wiki …her kind, atheist or not, will lead us all to despair.

        • 295
          Socialism is generalized National Socialism says:

          Ok – Prof Kevin B MacDonald is a nutbar – however – from the brief read through two things stand out as fairly good advice: i) Don’t treat the word of a nutbar as gospel truth, ii) Anti-Semitism is a bad idea as it may be a manipulation for the benefit of the target. Given the bizarrely irrational nature of that specific ‘ism’ – that would be most likely the case.

          Poll’s copy will lead you to despair if you read it – on many levels – which is why it’s best not to. Leave nihilism to the continentals, best to follow the extropianist approach which MacDonald seems to consider the preserve of a very narrow subsection of humanity.

          If you do not wish to be lead to despair, then stop following. ;-)

  75. 253
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    Silly cow, always looks pissed off.

    But I wouldn’t say no to a filthy night in Tuscany.

  76. 254
    Toad in the Kole says:

    On the subject of ineptitude and it being a good idea to make sure you get your facts right:
    10/05/2010 Mohamed Al Fayed sells Harrods to Qatar Holdings.
    26/11/2012 A nameless News Editor claims that Sarah Brown will be working with Al Fayed having just joined Harrods’ board.

    Just sayin’.

  77. 255
    TJB says:

    How does this useless bint remain in employment. She cannot write a factually correct article and is an hypocrite of the first water. How she is worth more as a columnist than I am remains, to this day, a mystery.

    • 263
      Ah bugger it! says:

      She’s there to take the flak for Libor, people are so busy attacking her, Libor are busy whitewashing the last 12 years of their terror.

    • 266
      Fairy Hanny. says:

      I thought you were a support joist or an earth moving machine,silly me,of course not you are that new ointment for piles.

    • 267
      Polly to me to you to me says:

      Mystery is how is that trilogy of Cameron/Clegg/Osborne are still peddling their crap, more like. They should have been an uprising by MPs by now, the spineless so and soes, esp. those dummies of the Lib Dems on their behinds on the backbenches propping them up.

  78. 262
    Operation Crossbow says:

    I got my hopes up for a while today. The BBC were reporting that a well known comic whose main character is a fat person with a face full of stubble was finally coming to the end of its print run.

    Could it be true? finally the Guardian and Polly gone forever? Nope it’s the Dandy oh well we still have the comic that is the Guardian to read.

    • 270
      Polly to me to you to me says:

      Sad day for brit culture – but that is what you get under a tory flavoured government. Anyone remember Lord Snooty from Dandy? Or was that the Beano, RIP (on paper) also? Biffo the Bear, ohhh, now there was a bear.

      • 275
        Fairy Hanny. says:

        Key hole Kate,desparate dan, korky the kat.Any of these would have run the country better than these comics and much cheaper.

        • 280
          Polly to me to you to me says:

          Colonel Blimp could run the country better even, and he couldn’t see further than his nose – oh hang on, he was in the Beezer, or was it the Topper? Think Keyhole Kate was Sparky, wasn’t she, if I remember right? But Korky the Kat, the fish finger stealer – he was a right character he was, a right naughty tomcat, but he never did any stquirting on the louge doorframes – always puzzled me that did.

          Hope they keep the anualls going though – hard to stick an oline url adress into a sock for the kissies at Xmas….

        • 349
          Wun Hu Noz says:

          Yes, but regrettably we got landed with Denis the Menace from somewhere north of Watford.

          • Slugged her with me lead pipe in the library says:

            Minnie the Minx was a laugh too, and yes, they all come from north of Watford, Dundee I believe. And of very course, Beryl the Peril – oh my gawd – last I heard she is a lesbo in Brighton, rumour has it, but still nuts!


  79. 272

    ‘Polly goes crackers’.

    Polly is crackers.

  80. 273
    UKIP bot says:

    eastern europeans…blah blah..liblabcon..blah blah…germans….blah blah……zzzzz

    • 320
      Euro useful idiot says:

      Fuck the people, blah, up the socialist state, blah, down with capitalism, blah, crush individuality, blah, dilute then wipe out national identities and cultural histories, blah, mix-up and shuffle the worlds races and cultures so as to dived and rule, blah blah blah

    • 325
      leftwingbot says:


  81. 274
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    • 278
      Polly to me to you to me says:

      GOOD GRIEF! Look Around You? That bit of telly really amused me – well done the BBC.

      And spot the difference here between these two,


      Clue: one was made with a sense of humour, and one wasn’t – the BBC didn’t invent a sense of humour for itself until 1979…

      • 298
        Polly to me to you to me says:

        Bugger it! Might as well The BBC post a song from 1979, via Sheffield, where the stainless steel cutlery comes from, Clegg, but you would not know that, would you you orange boyo,

        • 299
          Polly to me to you to me says:

          quite succinct methinks – 1979 original music, and yes from Sheffied, with a recentish in times, AHEM! third party vid. Quite today message filled, ey northerners?

  82. 277
    Public Sector Parasite says:

    Consumer confidence? Consumer confidence? I hope and pray that consumers are paralysed with timidity. That way perhaps our whole economy and way of life would be less reliant on buying overpriced Chinese tat in order to one-up our friends and neighbours. Consumer confidence… ffs.

  83. 287
    Gordon McRuin says:

    I just dunned a poop poop.

  84. 289
    Pollytwaddle says:

    One of my articles full of twaddle? Never!

    My articles are always a model of Evil Tory™ hating consistency.

    How else can I maintain all my houses?

  85. 291
    Derron Brown's girlfriend says:

    I is much smarta than that old retarded bint. I is cheap too. Innit.×582.jpg

  86. 292
    • 296
      Polly to me to you to me says:

      IT’S TWINS! Told you Katie shoots double barrelled estabishment. Two identical girls, both fighting to get out first to be future queenie. Daily Mail would sure have a conniption fit, and come in their panties! And gawd, will the establishment have future problems when they are growing up – Marge and Lillibet would look angels to them.

      Shoved a pound on paddy power for identical twins, girls, and they gave me 100-1, the oirish facists, and no, I do not have insider info, honest….

      Shoved a pound on Victoria for the first one, and Elizabeth for the second one closely followed by a neck (!?!?!) : )

  87. 300
    Slugged her with me lead pipe in the library says:

    Come on Polly – roll the dice, it’s your turn. Headache? Grow some balls woman! Let’s play Ludo then instead – it’s got less rules…..

  88. 301
    albacore says:

    Oh me, oh my and oh gosh and golly
    Three hundred comments so far on Polly
    The old bird must be preening and crowing
    Her fan club just keeps growing and growing

    • 302
      Anonymous says:

      A case of car crash journalism.

    • 303
      Slugged her with me lead pipe in the library says:

      Polly Toynbee has a strange name,
      seems to bring her cornered fame.
      Quaker oated have once been told,
      with kettle on’t hob screaming bold.

      • 304
        Slugged her with me lead pipe in the library says:

        oops, suppose I should say that poem is © me, you thieving plagarisitic bastardoes. Will be watching google search, and oh yes, I will sue! : )

        desperately need an agent I do….

  89. 316
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Costs billions, broadcast on all media constantly night and day, ‘weather’ you want or need to know (and millions don’t) and is only right when trends are fairly obvious, but often catastrophically wrong when it changes, showing the true status of it.

    It is currently snowing heavily in London.

    What was it moonbat said about snow in the UK

    We need an inquiry into the Met Office.

  90. 319

    Samantha Cameron has never ‘headed up’ Smythson, but was – for a while – the creative director. Rather different, frankly.

  91. 326
    Ed Miliband (Prime Minister designate) says:

    Growth and NHS figures give George Osborne the shits ahead of autumn statement

  92. 352
    michael says:

    “employment figures”… I remain needing to be convinced . Far too many Apprenticeships not so many real contracts and I’m not so sure that a comparison of hours worked stacks up either. However I do think that this form of back door supply side reform is probably the only ‘agreeable’ way forward.

  93. 353
    Johan Hari says:

    I edited it so it must be correct.

  94. 361
    Geordieboy says:

    Polly Fuck Off and put the kettle on

  95. 362
    ReefKnot says:

    PollyWally – the Patron Saint of lost causes.

  96. 365
    Anonymous says:

    Of course there are never never inaccuracies in the Sun, Mail, Express and Telegraph…

  97. 371
    Telegram for Mongo says:

    Her article (singular – because it is the same looney nonce-sence every week) is just soooooo BORING!

    It is a good job the Guardian doesn’t need to make any money and are therefore able to employ such out of touch and irrelevant hacks and Twaddlebee

    Seamus Milne – Gary Younge? Do me a favour. Who else would give these BORING hapless saps a gig?

  98. 372
    George Osborne's bullshite crap Statement says:

    Since it is quiet here, Guido, another poem for Polly – you “might” like it, ahem!

    Roma Torino Milano Firenze, some plonkers say,
    from hills with grapes and olives from Tuscanee.

    English village transplanted, bars condusive abound,
    known abouts renound, that lady from The Guardian that frownds.

    Sitting at my morning seat, ok, no crossants, but good spag weetabix,
    looking for tricks to baffle such, tory insiders, talking and doing shite tricks.

    That is the best I can do at the moment, off my cuff – feel free to send to Polly – think she will find it “slightly amusing”, as she does with most of the crap here.

    All the best Guido, all.

    • 373
      George Osborne's bullshite crap Statement says:

      Roma Torino Milano Firenze, some plonkers say,
      from hills with grapes and olives from Tuscanee.

      English village transplanted, bars condusive abound,
      known abouts renound, that lady from The Guardian that frownds.

      Sitting at my morning seat, ok, no crossants, but good spag weetabix,
      looking for tricks to baffle such, tory insiders, talking and doing shite tricks.

      • 374
        George Osborne's bullshite crap Statement says:


        Polly is a name,
        come to fame.
        Why I ask one,
        talks to a plum.

        How’s that then? jeeezuz chroist, this site!

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Nick Clegg says:

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