November 30th, 2012

Guido’s Christmas Drinks

santaGuido’s Christmas drinks this year will be on Wednesday 19th December at 5pm, bringing together readers, co-conspirators, Westminster wonks, weirdos,  movers and shakers, and seasoned drunks.

If you fancy coming along then make sure you’ve subscribed to the Guidogram for details of the SW1 location nearer the time. Save the date…


  1. 1
    Ministry of Truth says:

    Where the fuck is kebab?

  2. 2
    Selohesra says:

    Free drink?

  3. 3
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am in London quite a lot, how do I subscribe?

  4. 4
    Ebenezer Scrooge says:

    Bah humbug

  5. 5
    Alex Salmond's Fat Belly says:

    Damn, I am in London the week before. Would have been good to have come along.

  6. 6
    Meanwhile says:

    You paying ???

  7. 7
    Strong painkillers says:

    Not allowed to drink. Doctor’s orders.

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Bottoms up !

  9. 9
    Lard Prescott says:

    Is it a free bar? and will their be nibbles?

  10. 10
    Common Purpose says:

    One of our operatives will be there taking pictures of the attendees. Just for posterity.

  11. 11
    Ed Millibland says:

    I thall athk Mr Balls if I can cum

  12. 12
    Hunky Santa says:

    Guido is very dashing in his Santa’s hat.

  13. 13
    The dashing hero. says:

    Does Guido model himself on Errol Flynn?

  14. 14
    Baroness Harman of Wapping, Media and Press Controller (Elect) says:

    Yes, me too! I’ll be there with a few Speical Branch officers (from just around the corner) to monitor proceeedings. Our mission is nearly complete.

  15. 15
    Solution to homelessness! says:

    Here’s a fascinating glimpse inside the shipping container homes set to be used as temporary accommodation for homeless people.

    A housing trust in Brighton wants to use the 36 adapted containers as a stop-gap for people without a permanent home.

    It is the latest plan aimed at tackling Brighton and Hove’s ‘desperate’ housing crisis.

    Read more:
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

  16. 16
    The dashing hero. says:

    In the kebab shop chatting up the hunky Stavros?

  17. 17
    The Tosser in No 10 says:

    People often ask me ‘Dave, – why are you such a fucking stupid bastard? Was it something you had to work at, or were you born like it?’ and I say, ‘I think it came naturally, – but my Oxford Degree helped!’ – and then they offer me a drink – like what I hope Guido will do. Which reminds me, – would he like me to bring Nick Claggy and Herr von Rumpy?

  18. 18
    A mover and Shaker in my Dreams says:

    “wonks, weirdos, movers and shakers, and seasoned drunks”

    I’m sure I can meet some of those crteria but sadly will not be able to make it.

  19. 19
    Ultra says:

    Can we smoke ?

  20. 20
    Only says:

    if he’s got 14″ ( all you children won’t understand that)

  21. 21
    Secret says:

    Ultra – not only may you – but it’s expected!

  22. 22
    The dashing hero. says:

    Ding Dong.

  23. 23
    Selohesra says:

    Free drink?

  24. 24
    Compliance Ofsah says:

    Haven’t you got enough work with the Lesbianisation of Britain Project?

  25. 25
    Do you have a match? says:

    Not since Errol Flynn died

  26. 26
    Selohesra says:

    Why have most of my comments disappeared into nowhere today – yet that got through?

  27. 27
    The Fag Police says:

    After we have nailed you to a cross then you can try smoking yer fag! You slaaaaag!

  28. 28
    Cyril Smith says:

    Is there an age limit?

  29. 29
    B1lbo says:

    Careful, Guido. B1lly/Kebab might turn up and want to spend the whole evening chatting to you.

  30. 30
    Mark Oaten says:

    Want me to cum along?

  31. 31
    Leroy Jenkins says:

    Awww, Guido you’ve arranged drinks on my Birthday you sly fellow, and I’ll be down that neck of the woods, may well have to give it a go :-D

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    or tie me kangaroo down sport

  33. 33
    Supply him with as many bangers as possible says:

    My favorite brit xmas pop song, and I have seen a few, so know what is tragic, and might as well post a personal extra afterwards too, and why not?

    The extra, with Xmas and his reindeers coming to visit us again, to fiddle with our kiddies again, the dorty barstardo he is!

  34. 34
    marvin tpa says:

    i’m just too depressed

  35. 35
    Calamity Clegg says:

    We have banned binge drinking.

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    If its done properly government could be able to cut housing benefits.

  37. 37
    Pleb says:

    Have you not seen the Homebase adverts?

  38. 38
    Mr Humphrey says:

    I’m free…

  39. 39
    HOHUM says:

    Get a Stanley knife, make sure it’s still got the old original rusty blade and then proscribe a 360 % cut around your bell end.

  40. 40
    David Scameron says:

    Don’t forget you must charge at least 45p per unit.

  41. 41
    Bumboys and nonces says:

    He prefers a mouthful of pork and a fistful of arsehole.

  42. 42
    Cameron's patent lie detector says:

    Jane Winter, the director of a human rights charity who discovered that emails and documents she had sent had been illegally accessed after the recipient’s computer was hacked, was disheartened by the Leveson report in general and the prime minister’s refusal to accept its key recommendation in particular.

    Winter, head of the British Irish Rights Watch, was one of 60 victims who signed a letter to the PM last October asking him to implement Leveson’s suggestions.

    She said: “His response was, ‘As long as it’s not bonkers, I’ll implement that’. Well I saw the report this morning and it doesn’t look bonkers to me and I think he’s gone back on his word and I feel betrayed.”

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    thats not what i’ve heard

  44. 44
    Oliver Cromwell is alive and well in PC World says:

    Christmas is banned. Season Greetings to all nationalities, religions and atheists. And mustn’t forget the devil worshippers.

  45. 45
    Capt. Shadow (Retd.) - former MI5 Wet-Ops Team says:

    Same here, but told me ‘shots’ were OK…

  46. 46
    fruitcake says:

    see, you’re just like everyone else, in it for a free ride, oh wait….

  47. 47
    extraordinary rendition services corps says:

    hope so we’ll be there… always nice to put a face to the name…ooops

  48. 48
    Political Scrapbook says:

    Iain Duncan Smith told a boy to ‘go to the Jobcentre’ when his disabled father died a day after after being declared fit for work by the DWP. Kieran McArdle claims that the stress caused by the results of an Atos test contributed to the death of his dad, who was left half-blind and paralysed following a stroke.

    When the 13 year-old wrote to IDS, however, the response from the work and pensions secretary concluded with a ’cut and paste’ invitation to make an appointment with a Jobcentre to “discuss the outcome of your father’s claim”.

  49. 49
    Strong Painkillers says:

    Get it down you. I might try my luck with a wee tipple. It totally pants not having a festive drink.

  50. 50
    Postal Voter says:

    Nigel claims that Libor’s postal voting system is open to fraud….but I only voted 372 times this year.

  51. 51
    Tachybaptus says:

    He thought it was an offer, I suppose.

    But I have lost two comments today, and have just unplugged and reconnected my modem to get a different IP address in the hope of doing better.

  52. 52
    The Truth behind Dave's minimum. says:

    Dave is a liar.

    8 cans of Aldi pear cider costs £4.58 now.

    Minimum priced at 50p a unit they will cost £9.20p

    That is over 100% inflation.

    Of course the plonk that Dave drinks will NOT be affected.

  53. 53
    Pleb says:

    Last year Cameron kept telling us he wanted to give Coulson a second chance, now he wants to give the rest of them a second chance.
    For the same reason. They have got him by the goolies.

  54. 54
    nadia says:

    but actually inside where it’s warm?

    i’ll go anywhere if, invited if I can smoke, drink and be warm.

  55. 55

    You subscribe by throwing a Nokia at Ed Balls’ head.

  56. 56
    Gordon Brown says:

    NURSE! Look what a bigger boy off the internet made me do!

  57. 57
    Malice In Wonderland says:

    Cameron has made a massive mistake on this one. The Dowlers and McCanns of this country, the ordinary people whose lives have been shattered by a market driven rabid press won’t allow it. He made the choice to side with Murdoch over the Dowlers and he will pay a very high price for such stupidity.

  58. 58
    Some Twat up North and his celebrity gerbil says:

    I’ll take a stroll down from Jarrow. What times the cab home?

  59. 59
    Supply him with as many bangers as possible says:

    More Xmas? for the kiddddiiiieeeesss,

  60. 60
    Diane Abbott says:

    Do you want a singer at the end of the night?

  61. 61
    nadia says:

    got to stop the postal vote scam before 2015

  62. 62
    underpinning could be built upon ... says:

    tell the deaf cow to listen to what he said.. he said it would need some careful consideration….he did not rule it out..he simply pointed out some of the issues that will need resolving..there will doubtless be others.

  63. 63
    Lord mandlebum of Fondleboys says:

    Is there a boy band booked for our delight and delictation?

  64. 64
    Joss Taskin says:

    Yes please, but how will you get home afterwards ? I thought that cabs wouldn’t stop for you ?

  65. 65
    LOL says:

    …..or worse…..

  66. 66
    Little Johnny B13COW says:

    Who will take care of Mrs. Slocum’s pussy ?

  67. 67
    D Laws, Gayer and Thief says:

    OOOOOOOO I do hope so

  68. 68
    Cherie Blair says:

    Are the drinks free?

  69. 69
    Silly Sally B13 COW says:

    SW 1 ? Stop off at ours afterwards for a nightcap.

  70. 70
    Supply him with as many bangers as possible says:

    nooo, hic! ospreys vee blues in rugger tonight = hey all, hic! Sheen Walsh firteen man mineout from last week all? Here it ism with, huic, kiwiland commentary – oz tomirrow for us, HIC!, let me top yews up Vicar, another slug Father? hic…

  71. 71
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Didin’t I see rent barracks like these in a Sci-Fi film on future living; mind you the people in them had to be conected to some sort of gizmo.

  72. 72
    Jimmy says:

    Who’s designated driver?

  73. 73
    Anonymous says:

    As Conservative lead government cannot afford to house the poor in houses they might end up housing them in containers. It not as bad as houses poor live in, in the 3rd world.

  74. 74
    A petshop boy says:

    You are David Taylor and I claim my £5.00

  75. 75
    Supply him with as many bangers as possible says:

    lineout, oz tomorrow, hic!

  76. 76
    Expat Geordie says:

    He’s right you know. Yet it seems like there is a massive conspiracy of silence over postal voting fraud.

    Unless Dave sorts out postal voting PDFQ we will end up with a Labour government at the next election.

  77. 77
    Fishy says:

    Better count the glasses (and the tables and the chairs) GF, or else slotty will think it’s Christmas

  78. 78
    IDS says:

    I am not a bowel disorder I am a serious and caring Politician.

  79. 79
    Hariet Harpie says:

    This was the propaganda we were going to use as evidence against UKIPs immigration policy. Who leaked it ?

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:

    Actually it would be totally bonkers for Britain to abandon hundreds of years of press freedom.

  81. 81
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Even the left are begining to see the light.

  82. 82
    Anonymous says:

    Yep- get it sorted.
    The Rotherham child snatching scandal shows that many town halls have been compromised.

  83. 83
    Gordon Brown says:

    If their not I know a good wheez, tee hee.

  84. 84
    A Harbinger of Doom says:

    Sure you are not mistaken? Currys and PC World are one and the same these days

  85. 85
    The totally unbiased BBC says:

    Can we come ?

  86. 86
    The Staff says:

    We’re not taking the doors off just to get you in, you fat nonce…

  87. 87
    A Child near YOU says:

    My Arsehole was compromised…

  88. 88
    Prince Vultan says:

    Ah, well; who wants to live forever? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

  89. 89
    E Pickles says:

    So I can’t come then?

  90. 90
    Here Comes Fatty With His Sack o' Shit says:

    Somehow, the word “nibbles” and you don’t go together, Big John.

  91. 91
    Owin Jones, Independent(ish) says:

    And I’m a gobby para-poet with no mission or clue !

  92. 92
    Dave's Goolies says:

    Form an orderly queue please and a bit less of the alcohol rub ta.

  93. 93
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    I lived in barracks less comfortable when I served in the RAF

  94. 94
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    Ive heard its a Rubriso!

  95. 95
    WiccaWarlock says:

    (Cough) Or the Wicca.

  96. 96
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    More to the point whos taking care of Sallys you little hobbit

  97. 97
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    Can reinaldo cum too!

  98. 98
    Buy him a box of bangers and a packet of sparklers says:

    PC World? Seen this?

  99. 99
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    Kebab is kebabed……. inshallah :)

  100. 100
    green ink says:

    absolutely but the message going out is cameron is against legislation and is betraying victims…that is just not true.

    unquestionably statute can be subsequently amended to do all sorts of things media related that is very much not in the public interest. Any sort of ‘thin wedge’ effect of legislation that can lead to restriction of press and speech freedoms is completely untenable and cameron recognises the complications therein.

  101. 101
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    Thanks but no thanks. I prefer to remember Londistan as it was in the 1960’s.

  102. 102
    Rolf 'arris..... says:

    Hmmmmmmm can I bring……

  103. 103
    Gordon says:

    Guido, can I come 2 yr party plz plz plz? I’m suffering from the loneliness of the long-distant scunner.

  104. 104
    Rolf 'arris..... says:

    Steady on there…….

  105. 105
    Buy him a box of bangers and a packet of sparklers says:

    State the bleeding obvious. It baffles me how the germans still hang around with us total fuck ups, it really does.We couldn’t organise fuck all these days, let alone a piss up in a brewery. Ey Franzl, agreed?

  106. 106

    The venue in SW1 is KFC, 115 Buckingham Palace Road.

  107. 107
    STROPPYCOW says:

    If I can be arsed might come for the craick (er.. crack?) but you’re off my Christmas list G’ weed o for sending my caption into oblivion earlier …..FFS ….hic

  108. 108
    Danny Alexander says:

    I’m a C*UNT

  109. 109
    Hertz Van Rental says:

    Will a Ford Transit 350 be enough for you, little lady?

  110. 110
    UKIPman says:

    When British people were asked to join the Common market it turned out to be a scam to turn Europe into an Empire.

    When Britain signed the European Human Rights Act to cater for refugees it turned out to be a charter for mass immigration and for criminals to escape justice.

    When Britain passed the Health and Safety Act it turned out to be a way for scheming underhand lawyers to make money.

    Now Britain is being asked to make the state regulate the press and we are asked to believe it will not damage the freedom of the press. We know who is bonkers on this and it isn’t Cameron.

  111. 111
    Tachybaptus says:

    It’s oblivion for all today.

  112. 112
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    Representing a minor political party….. ?

  113. 113
    Kebab Time says:

    I will be there – lick last year I will sitting and the back just watching

  114. 114
    Bonkers Leveson says:

    It is essential that Christmas must be regulated by the state so people can only drink two units of alcohol over the Xmas period.

  115. 115
    Anonymous says:

    Why doesn’t government try this. Rather than putting people in bed and breakfast government can build 30,000 houses like this on the cheap to house people for the short term.

  116. 116
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    Yeah I was there the Brittania Club happy days!

  117. 117
    Kebab Time says:

    sticks and stones may break my bones but I have more than 1000 firsts

  118. 118
    Kebab Time says:

    crap comments are now deleted automatically – it is a bit of a worry

  119. 119
    T. P. Fuller says:

    Then while they’re asleep load the boxes onto a bulk carrier and set sail for Poland …

  120. 120
    T. P. Fuller says:

    Not from Cambridge, I’ll be bound. University of Hemel Hempstead or somesuch, eh 8iLLy?

  121. 121
    Kebab Time says:

    University of Life

  122. 122
    I am not Bonkers Leveson says:

    If you are against second chances you presumably want anyone convicted of a crime to serve life imprisonment and no appeals to any criminal convicted of a crime and no prevarication of sending criminals back to their home country. Is this what the left wing thinks? Or are they just as hypocritical on that as they are on everything else?

  123. 123
    T. P. Fuller says:

    Tachybaptus has been here for donkey’s years, is literate and funny, and therefore fair game for modding. Since most readers, I suspect, prefer the comments to the posts, is it not daft to annoy the unpaid contributors like that?


  124. 124
    Riggsy Brown says:

    I ‘ll be there. There’s a few regulars here that I’d like to meet. Can I bring a guitar?

  125. 125
    UKIPman says:

    You were a mainstream party once.

  126. 126
    UKIPman says:

    No doubt you will be ridiculously early for that as well.

  127. 127
    Riggsy Brown says:

    Make that `who I’d like to meet’. Started earlier than usual today ;).

  128. 128
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    Please dont!

  129. 129
    Bike rack says:

    That you, Cyril?

  130. 130
    Anonymous says:

    Keep an eye on Ed Balls.

  131. 131
    XXXxx says:

    Well said Billy, you have not been a drain on the education budget, I always wondered why when going to night school and day release I and/or my employer had to pay quite large sums, while students at uni were getting it free and payed as well (grants)

  132. 132
    Rhea Gunner says:

    Will there be lots of PIE?

  133. 133
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    As I said on this blog yeterday best bit of the HoC yesterday a double whammy to gobshite Docherty and Waaaa.r Balls

  134. 134
    Nora Botty says:

    You can forget about binge voting.

  135. 135
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    I gather that Mc Shame will maken an appearence together with Oscar the Ironing Board aka Margeret Moron

  136. 136
    rocknrolla says:

    Can I just ask – does anyone else think Steve Coogan is a monumental twat?

  137. 137
    Leveson, Lord says:

    If everyone buys Guido a drink, he’ll be pissed all year and my job stifling the media is done.

    Hugh and Steve will be so pleased with me, I just love those high moral celebrities.

  138. 138
    XXXxx says:

    S you have not been a naughty boy have you, there are certain words motty-botty flags up, I noticed it day or two ago, there is a slight change in colour on the flagged words.
    KT it is no skin off my nose if anything is deleted, I come on here for a bit of entertainment and put my peneth in
    TPF I prefer the comments yes to a point, it is a bit of compulsive reading, I don’t agree with everything , sometimes it goes a bit far but I still come on

  139. 139
    Jimmy says:

    Such statesmanship. You must all be so proud.

  140. 140
    Charlie Alexander says:

    I’ll be there in spirit

  141. 141
    A Woman of Colour says:

    Get’n home dat am no prob fo’ me – me booty wave am orl dat take for me to get dem free lift.

  142. 142
    rocknrolla says:

    Read it and weep. The comments are for the most part just as bad – they see Leveson as their chance to stop any newspaper saying anything bad about immigration.


  143. 143
    XXXxx says:

    Do you mean tobacco or other that stuff which cannot be mentioned and has peculiar smell a bit like fox

  144. 144
    “Butch” (trousers in socks) Mitchell says:

    So very terribly sad that my Overseas Aid Scam to RawUnder has been rumbled! What next I wonder? I know – I’ll see if I can sponge off Guido!

  145. 145
    XXXxx says:

    He sure will

  146. 146
    The Rich Tosser in No 10 says:

    I can afford the best! – only common people whinge about the cost of champers!

    What’s ‘sider’ anyway?

  147. 147
    Steve Coogan says:

    Even I think I am, but my career neede a boost so I jumped on a passing bandwaggon

  148. 148
    Joyless Tfhucker says:

    NO child should be happy except they learn to love the musso paradise

  149. 149
    Nissan Main Dealer says:

    I really admire George Galloway. Will I still be welcomed for a few drinks?

  150. 150
    Diane Fatbutt says:

    “What’s ‘sider’ anyway?”

    It’s what’s in, in the case of that tasty bird of yours.

  151. 151
    retardEd Miliband says:

    Mithsther Sthpeaker, Mithsther Sthpeaker

    How do I jump on thith bandwagon?

  152. 152
  153. 153
    E says:

    Hmmm .

    Wenesday ain’t sooo good for me , honey ;(

    Can u do it the next day , or Thursday , petal ???

    Ta ♥

    Plus , if u unbans my moniker , Ewa might buy a drink , mightn’t she ???

    Plus +1 : Get the movers and shakers to fuck off somewhere else , hun :( Seasoned drunks can stay , I spose .

    Plus +2 *mops cider offa keyboard an cat*

    Plus +3 : Has u got rid of that ridiculous weirdy beardy yet , darlin ??

    Plus +4 : No talkin bout politics , an that .

    Plus +7 : No talkin .

    Plus +8 : Is William Botty goin ???

    How much is tube fare to SW1 these days , anyways ??

    Fuck nose – probly a tenner , wotever , ain’t it ??

    I find u guys an debunk ya *burrp*

    Laters , Ewa x x x

  154. 154
    Big Brother is watching you says:

    What? Are you saying Dave is wrong?

    Didn’t your darling Gordon call a woman who questioned the amount of immigration into this country a ‘bigot’? Is that not a smear? If not, why did he go straight round her house with a grovelling apology?

  155. 155
    Expat Geordie says:

    Here we go again.

    Some people never learn.

  156. 156
    Expat Geordie says:

    Very catchy. Bet they don’t play it over the tannoy in ASDA.

  157. 157
    South of the M4 says:

    There lies the root of this governments problems. An ex PR professional is being consistently out-witted by the Labour PR machine. And to the long-term detriment of the British people. Wavy needs to get a grip.

  158. 158
    Steve Coogan's a Cunt says:

    Yep I agree he’s a twat

  159. 159
    T. P. Fuller says:

    Smoke by all means but best not to burst into flames, especially inside the boozer.

  160. 160
    Gordon Brown's a Cunt says:

    I totally agree with myself on this.

  161. 161
    Buy him a box of bangers and a packet of sparklers says:

    SW1? let me guess the Shakespeare opposite Vicky station? or….

  162. 162
    T. P. Fuller says:

    @green ink — no no, you are wrong, Cameron is heartless and laughs evilly at the victims … I heard it on the BBC.

  163. 163
    Expat Geordie says:

    Can you imagine what would happen if there was legislation and then Labour got back into power? You could guarantee that they would make it retrospective and start chasing the press for stuff that was legal at the time. They’d close down the Telegraph for exposing MP’s expenses, the Mail for (re)exposing Common Purpose, the Express for opposing EU membership, and all we’d be left with is the Guardian and the Mirror.

    Think that they wouldn’t do it? Labour has form with retrospective legislation. Brown particlarly liked it with tax regulation.

  164. 164
    It's Friday Night says:

    Kebabs are being scoffed down……

  165. 165
    T. P. Fuller says:

    He can’t have meant Comet, that’s for sure.

  166. 166
    Rasta Bob, your friendly supplier says:


    I already supply many in SWI

    I have the finest products

    The finest crack wrapped in Davidoff leaves…

    I even used to deliver to N Scotland Y if you know what I mean

    Until the Sun blew my cover

    But I am sure that I can supply your Christmas drinks party and have everyone rolling around happy and totally out of control…

  167. 167
    Two Forty Year Olds says:

    We learnt to take it up the arris. Thanks Rolf

  168. 168
    Rupert Murdoch says:

    Can I put you on a retainer fawkes?

    SInce I have already given you a platform in the WSJ and now the Sun

    A retainer would be cheaper for such a good whitewashing and disinformation job you are doing for me…

  169. 169
    Diane Fatbutt says:

  170. 170
    Expat Geordie says:


  171. 171
    Rug Muncher says:

    Will their be lots of rugs to munch..?

  172. 172
    If it's bleak in sunderland says:

    Try wearing green tights like Errol Flynn.

  173. 173
    the stench of hypocrisy says:

    Perhaps some Labour MP’s may like to give up some of their second homes to house the poor?

  174. 174
    Alastair Campbell Murderer says:

    Hilarious! They’re complaining about the media portraying “muslims in a negative light”, and then they’re screaming “Say no to Misogyny” and “Stand up for equality”.

    God almighty, I knew the Left were mongs but this takes it to a new level. Do these fucking left-wing cretins not understand they can’t have it both ways?

    They’re either for Islam, or against misogyny. Either, or. Not both.

  175. 175
    The British public says:

    Despite propaganda from the Hacked Off campaign- we agree that state regulation of the press must be stopped.

  176. 176
    Anonymous says:

    I never thought he was funny.
    His support for Hacked Off has just confirmed he’s a twat.

  177. 177
    Tom Fatson says:

    What about me ?????

  178. 178
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    He’s even growing a beard again in his old age.
    He got tired of people asking him when he’d return to the Vandyke look, I suppose. I don’t know about “dashing,” but it DOES make him look vaguely roguish (and considering the current circumstances, “roguish” is probably the sort of look he should be after):

  179. 179
    Teresa May Worst Drag Queen Since Lilly Savage says:

    Do you think I will pull and get a big dick in my butt.

  180. 180
    rocknrolla says:

    haha, made me laugh, wish the camera lingered a bit longer on the labour front bench – christ what a set of useless twats – Miliband, Harperson, Balls – if you put the 3 of them in charge of a fish n chip shop they would screw it up and they want to run the country.

  181. 181
    Zyclon B - you know it makes sense says:

    This is great! Some retard going by the moniker ‘3genders’ wrote:

    “Well, the ‘news’papers are particularly notorious for demeaning transpeople which is why Trans Media Watch were given a hearing at Leveson. I don’t see the presses behaviour as having changed, though. People who happen to be transsexual, transgendered and also gender variant are still being singled out for invasion of privacy, mockery and abuse by the tabloids.”

    ‘Gender variant’? What a fucked-up little fucking mong.

  182. 182
    HOHUM says:

    Guido’s Christmas Drinks:
    Bring your own. :-)

  183. 183
    not a machine reloaded says:

    mmm see if I can make it ….. Ill be the one with the black trench coat and empty pint glass , asking if Old holbourn has turned up to enquire who does his graphics .

    had a few wha wha whaaas from labour , but I get the feeling they are a bit more uncertain behind the winning smiles , I have always been fascinated why even an educated Labour conscript , has a bit of miscompute when faced with the fact , healing the economy will almost take as long as the time they were hosing the walls with tax payer champagne joy, when in office . Nor the truth about the wastelands they created while spending for vote dillusion . As ever they shout and talk about a lot about anything but the inherent fraud of there own ideaology .

    So we have chancellors pre budget speech and then its onto round 2 of EU robbers disguised as indiferent beaurocrats in jan , after that its anyones guess if USA has fiscal cliff and Euro has fiscal truth .

    I dont think I will post much , to put it mildly , the liars are running out of runway if they havent worked out what to do , it will wash them all out there seats .

  184. 184
    Jimmy says:

    I’m sorry if I was unclear. My point is that a PM at the despatch box should refrain from acting like a petulant teenager. This is a habit of his and it seems to be getting worse. I’m not a big fan of the tory party as you know but there was at least a time when they behaved like adults.

  185. 185
    Anonymous says:

    Unless you are musilimms

  186. 186
    The Labour Parteh says:

    Labour are at war with Murdoch. Labour have always been at war with Murdoch.

  187. 187
    who why what where when says:

    Guido- the internet doesn’t make Leveson irrelevant.

    Much as I enjoy your blog, I also read a variety of daily and Sunday newspapers and I don’t want to lose either.Newspaper circulation is falling, but there will still be a demand for years to come.

    The dead tree press and internet is censored in countries like China- who’s to say it couldn’t happen here? Next weeks UN conference of International Telecommunications may herald the start of internet regulation.

  188. 188
    not a machine reloaded says:

    surely some mistake , free drinks all night isnt it :)

  189. 189
  190. 190
    Lol says:

    That so appealled to my childish sense of humour. Lol

  191. 191
    Fuller Crap says:

    You Rumberlow you.

  192. 192
    Ed Milimong's Liebore Party says:

    Liebore are at war with Murdoch. Liebore have always been at war with Murdoch.

  193. 193
    green ink says:

    the bbc …a biased law unto themselves and risible lack of some basic rules of journalism.

  194. 194
    HOHUM says:

    Free for some perhaps but I have a suspicion that it will be Joe Public picking up the tab again, in absentia.

  195. 195
    Looking for the Idiot says:

    Will the real Rht Hon Incompetent Dunce Stupid please stand up.

  196. 196
    Billy from Swansea Dockers Club says:

    Me and the boys will be paying a visit .

    I hope the count has remembered to lay on plenty of that Fullers.

  197. 197
    Arsehole alert says:

    Wtf is David Taylor? Give me my fiver back. Rat boy.

  198. 198
    Bluebottle says:

    If there are still people claiming twenty thousands of pounds in housing benefits can we stick them in one of these containers?

  199. 199
    The Insurance Firm Of Kray & Kray says:

    “Wonks, weirdos, etc.”

    And in that motley assortment, guv, there’s bound to be a bad apple or two ‘oo’s only lookin’ to cause trouble. Fortunately, we carry a line of coverage against such an ‘appenin’ as that. For a reasonable premium, we can insure that nobody gets in wot doesn’t look kosher, i.e., sober as the judge, and we can insure you ain’t gonna ‘ave any “Jimmy Savile/Cyril Smith and the like” problems of underage guests. We will provide for the security at the event, and a gratuity at the end of the evenin’ to our mate Coshy won’t go amiss eevva, boss.

    Wouldn’t want all your Christmas cheer to turn to grief based on the actions of a few chuckleheads, now would we, Mr Fawkes?

  200. 200
    Dave's Pram says:

    Dave has no Goolies or Backbone and no Brain.

    The perfect dictator in fact.

  201. 201
    Anonymous says:

    No further explanation needed. Lol

  202. 202
    Pub Punch Up says:

    We will drinking from plastic glasses and you are standing on the
    tables and chairs (now sawdust) thanks to the last ruck!

  203. 203
    Binge Drinker says:

    Don’t blame me

  204. 204
    Kebab Time says:

    why do you bother – your comments are crap

    I dont lick the idea of monkiers being banned, but this blog is better off without you

  205. 205
    OAP I'm Bloody Cold Just Put My Tenth Coat on before getting int bed says:

    I can’t afford to go drinking with you guys, can’t afford to keep me heating on.

  206. 206
    Interested Public says:

    In the article / Leveson – this is the significant line:

    ‘Although papers had the right to an opinion about such people, they also had a duty to community cohesion and telling the truth, he said.’

    Regulation may be brought in on the principal that the behaviour of the press constitutes a violation against the community – in some schools of thought due process is not the same for dealing these transgressions and the burden of proof is on the accused.

  207. 207
    smack me bitch crew says:

    lo…lo…lo …now that was an yvette

  208. 208
    silly old buggers decorating tips says:

    try a one coat emulsion

  209. 209
    Chris Hoon says:

    Main stream of piss.

  210. 210
    Blind Shirtlifter says:

    Only if you put a nose bag on and a sack over your head.

  211. 211
    I remember when there were public toilets in the Rhondda says:

    7,000 people in the Rhondda have been left for hours tonight without water .

    No fucking visit from David Cameron .

    In fact no fucking Conservative to be found anywhere near the place .

    Thank Christ for Peter Hain .

  212. 212
    Tachybaptus says:

    Now then. E is a grande dame and I’d lick her monkier any time.

  213. 213
    terrytory says:

    Howay, hinny..

    Do you mean Jarra?

  214. 214
    Bluebottle says:

    Has the Guitar got a work permit ?

  215. 215
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    Wheres Bryant ?

  216. 216
    Joss Taskin says:

    Isn’t Wales a Libor enclave ??

  217. 217
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    Yeah but they dealing with retards whenin Rome

  218. 218
    Vote labour, get labour treatment. says:

    “Thank Christ for Peter Hain ”

    Does he glow in the dark?

  219. 219
    Jimmy says:

    Yes I realise Docherty was being a smartarse. He’s still the PM. Sadly.

  220. 220
    Handycock Immigrant Trafficker says:

    Rubbish rocknrolla. Immigration is good, We will take as many immigrants as you can send us in Portsmouth. My boys will house them, and they will all vote for me, and my boys and I will continue to get very very rich. Boaz.

  221. 221
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    Help me Rhonnda

  222. 222
    Expat Geordie says:

    So if Cameron turned up now, as in this very instant, and all the water came back on at his command. If he then found well paying jobs for everyone there. And if he turned the Rhondda into heaven on earth. If he did all of this, would he get any credit from the locals for it? Would he get any thanks? Would he get any votes?

    The answer to all three is “no”. The locals would still vote Labour, who would then go and bugger everything up again, whilst blaming “the Tories” for their corrupt incompetence.

    By voting Labour, despite everything, people (I use the term loosely) in Rhondda, Rotherham, Middlesbrough, Croydon North, and other crap holes, break the first rule of civilised behaviour in humans and animals – DON’T SHIT ON YOUR OWN DOORSTEP!

  223. 223
    Saffron says:

    To 204.
    Yes it is,based on coal.
    Liebour seem to forget that they closed down more mines than the Cons under Weggie woody benn.
    Liebour are a young party as politics go and are by far the party who have consistently let the people of this land down in many ideological ways.
    This party are for state control of peoples lives as was the USSR until it was put out of business.
    When are the red rose brain dead voters going to cotton on that the party that their ancestors voted for years ago,is not that same party.
    They are a party of political opportunists as are the other two in it for what they can get.
    When oh When are voters going to wake up to reallity and get rid of these parasites who for long enough have exploited us for their own ends.

  224. 224
    Alastair Campbell Murderer says:

    “No fucking visit from David Cameron .”

    Like everyone else, he probably has no idea where Rhondda is.

    I take it it’s just a Labour shit-hole. Speaking of Labour – did they build public toilets in Rhondda? NO? Not in 13 years of Labour government? No toilets? But Labour blew a trillion quid!?

    Maybe Labour doesn’t give a shit about Rhondda, either.

  225. 225
    Saffron says:

    To 210.
    You are absolutely spot on sir in what you say.
    My compliments.

  226. 226
    Postal Voter says:

    We’ll keep the red flag flying here.

  227. 227
    Saffron says:

    To 212.
    Liebour are quite adept at blowing other peoples money,they have a history of it.
    Their financial grasp of things over the years ammounts to financial incompetence.

  228. 228
    Fat Presley says:

    Prescott what will you name the baby!!! he did kick!!!!
    i am not pregnent. i am only a fatty.

  229. 229
  230. 230
    Cherie Blair says:

    If it’s bring a bottle I’ll get Tony to nick one from one of his freebie trips.

  231. 231
    Anonymous says:

    So does that mean post-statutory press legislation, newspapers would be forbidden from reporting that women living under fundamentalist Muslim regimes are prevented from having an education, working, driving and are subjected to forcible genital mutilation?

  232. 232
    Anonymous says:

    Throwing mobiles is more the action of a petulant teenager.

  233. 233
  234. 234
    Brian Wilson says:

    I knew it wouldn’t take much time.

  235. 235
    the poor bloody tax-payer says:

    mine WAS a largshh won

  236. 236
    Buddy Hackett says:

    My son, the famous British blogger, on the news show!
    We can discuss it now, P-a-u-l. Everyone knows by now; the eyes give it away. Though to be honest, I was thinking of taking out a writ against that Cow woman What’s-her-name. She didn’t say anything about it, but I figured, she Tweets so much dreck she can’t keep track of everything, and she might just pay and get it over with. Then I realized they’d probably want to do a DNA test, and that’s the end of that brilliant idea. Can’t blame a “Guy,” or his father, for trying, though.

  237. 237
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    I am not coming that’s for sure. Boaz.

  238. 238
    gay gordon says:

    it be would be nice to put a bum to a name

  239. 239
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I’ll read this lot tommorrow.

  240. 240
    Polly Pot says:

    Sometimes I feel it would be better to gouge out my eyes so I don’t have look upon a Tory Britain.

    When I get that depressed at the poverty and hopelessness of a class riven, prospect zero, youth unemployed, coal fired, Thatcher legacy UK society,
    I fly to Tuscany for the winter

  241. 241
    albacore says:

    You know how Dave was so grieved by the press
    He told Leveson to sort out the mess?
    I wonder what snooper he’ll get to nose
    Into the risks that local councils pose
    If every oik’s tablet’s stuffed to the brim
    With what they know about you, me – and him

  242. 242
    Evie says:

    Kebab has probably had enough of the mindless bullying he gets from some trolls.

  243. 243
    Chris Bryant says:

    I’m there. I’ll come dressed as Tarzan in a tight fitting leopard skin thong , swinging a giant inflateable banana. Game on. Thanks.

  244. 244
    Chris Bryant says:

    I’m there. I’ll come dressed as Tarzan in a tight fitting leopard skin thong , swinging a giant inflateable banana. Game on. Thanks.

  245. 245
    British Public Opinion says:

    Labour had thirteen years but did fuck all

  246. 246
    Cameron is a Cunt! says:

    No! – I love Hunts – any shape – any size! At the very least they give you pleasure and interest! Cameron is just a waste of space and time, – in fact – a horrible little slimy shit! – and who needs that?

  247. 247
    Bollocks! says:

    They created a huge group of Benny scroungers! – beat that you bastard!

  248. 248
    Bumboy Cam says:

    Oh – that lovely soft pink sphincter! – that gorgeous tight anal ring! – beam me up!

  249. 249
    Ailingstare Campybull says:

    I ran this Huntry – don’t you forget it!

  250. 250
    R Sonist says:

    Well that would leave a lot less to burn down then wouldn’t it!

  251. 251
    Chicklister says:

    Keep Fuc**** Cwiet.

    Kan’t F**** Cook either!

  252. 252
    Don Keyotea says:

    if you go round calling people monkiers, you’ll have the Chelski management after you.

  253. 253
    Don Keyotea says:

    Is your needle stuck?

  254. 254
    Don Keyotea says:

    What is so fuckin’, difficult about spelling the word ‘bureaucrats’ correctly?

  255. 255
    Don Keyotea says:

    .. and shutting the bloody windows too!

  256. 256
    User Manual Vol 37. says:

    Damned decent of you, I’m sure.

  257. 257
    User Manual Vol 37. says:

    .. fuck all, except fuck everything up for us.

  258. 258
    User Manual Vol 37. says:

    Just remember that wee Johnny only drinks half-pints (or is that some undefinable amount in litres or Millidrops?)

  259. 259
    XXXxx says:

    Has Precott gone moldy or something?

  260. 260
    Lord Mooncrater says:

    Pump xyclone gas into them. Hey presto – no welfare costs. Magic.

  261. 261
    Trefor from Treherbert says:

    Last night I was in The Maerdy geting ratarsed .

    I knew nothing about all this until I got home .

    The Tories dont give a fuck about us .

    I remember when it snowed in February 1978 .

    At least Labour sent a snow plough stuck on the end of a tractor .

  262. 262
    Xmas is for over forty big kiddies really says:

    He ain’t got any windows – when did you ever see a cardboard box with windows?

  263. 263
    Santa's whippet says:

    I’ve been queuing and waiting for the Focus DIY store sale to start. Don’t want a repeat of what happened last year at Woolworths. Still, I’ve got my Zavvi gift vouchers to spend and will have to see if there’s a copy of “Two Little Boys” on cassette. Always liked that one. Can’t remember who sings it though. If not, then “Sun Arise” played on a Stylophone by that bloke with a beard that painted a weird looking woman.

    Have got my eye on a new television at Comet with teletext and a FarePak Christmas hamper thrown in for £199. That’s my bargain of the year. Free delivery by 2020 so long as stocks last.

    There’s caviar at Lidl (or was it Aldi?), so it should be a right royal Christmas feast at home this year.

  264. 264
    dosser's guide says:

    Cardboard City Lets on the net

Seen Elsewhere

Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood
We Must Not Call Charlie Hebdo Killers ‘terrorists’ | Telegraph
Tory MEP Promised Bashir Investigation | Scrapbook
Stop May Pact | Times

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers