November 27th, 2012

PHOTO: Gordon’s Aliiiiiive!
Prime Mentalist Spotted Very Near Chamber

Guido’s mole reports a flurry of Westminster activity from the former Prime Mentalist.  Not only did Gordon actually vote last night, he almost made it into the Chamber today. But not quite! He stopped short behind the Speaker’s chair.

So, Leveson aside, why is Brown in town? Guido can report that instead of representing the people of Kirkcaldy, as he is paid to do, Gordon was showing a mysterious balding gentleman around the estate.

A doorman’s conversation was overheard by one witty Member:

Doorman: Who was that then?

MP: The former Prime Minster.

DM: No, no with him.



  1. 1
    A feminist says:

    He’s in town to advise the new bloke at the BOE.


    • 34
      Anonymous says:

      What a terrifying thought!


    • 47
      Jilted John says:

      Who is ‘Gordon is a Moron’ again?

      Was so Long ago I’ve forgotten!


      • 52
        Archer Karcher says:

        You may have forgotten, but I can promise you this. You and your children will be paying for the supreme imbeciles borrowing and spending, for all of your lives.


        • 74
          CarryHole is a Huge Hunt says:

          and those he bailed out will be living off the backs of you and your children for the rest of their lives.


    • 56
      Huffy Auld Man says:

      Word on the street is that the other guy with him was in fact Ming-iband the Merciless.


    • 91
      Only in the Graun says:

      The photo was obviously taken after a good lunch.

      It’s odd how photos of mythical beings (bigfoot, nessie, brown) always seem to be blurry and indistinct.


    • 106
      Mike says:



      • 141
        Jim says:

        Is that how the British economy was rebuilt for Brown to spend? Another history lesson forgotten! Still time for George to find another interest. Pardon the pun my life savings are rotting in England.


  2. 2
    Gordoom says:

    Can’t he just be the opposite of alive?


  3. 3
    Kebab Time says:

    Its a fake!!!!


  4. 4
    Tartan Baffies says:

    Let’s celebrate with a dance. The Gay Gordons.


  5. 5
    Moussa Koussa Mark 2 says:

    Great news…Two Heads Willets has announced the forming of 10 new universities

    …we need the places for all BollyBorisWoods students. I’d check Boris’s luggage very carefully on his return to UK


  6. 6
    gordon brown says:

    Don’t recognise any if this. . .


  7. 7
    Steve Miliband says:

    Lord Lucan on Shergar?


  8. 9
    Gordon Brown says:

    I voted for David Haye


  9. 10
    Julia Middleton CEO Common Purpose says:

    I heard that Gordon Brown’s favourite film is Rainman.


  10. 11
    Anon says:

    This is frustrating, I’d already dispatched war rocket Ajax to bring back his body.


  11. 12
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    was it one of the Al Thani family? his wifes new bosses or maybe Al Fayed? with hints on how Harrods should be run.I shall certainly be closing my Harrod account down even though their their plum puddings are popular here in Blunderland or am I mixing it up with our new Poundland or Primark.


    • 84
      Charles says:

      Harrabs is no longer owned by Fayed. It belongs to the Qatari sovereign wealth fund. I was thinking I might start going there again now. But I’m not sure whether my little white and green embossed account card will be accepted. It doesn’t have an expiry date, mind.


  12. 13
    Julia Middleton CEO Common Purpose says:

    Does Gordon smell?


  13. 15
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Is Gordon chatting up Nadine to get some tips for going into the Jungle perhaps?


    • 51
      Jilted John says:

      Don’t be silly, he would scare all the creepy craw-lies away.


    • 115
      Hugh Janus says:

      No self-respecting cockroach would go anywhere near him. Besides, they are all looking forward to breaking-up for Christmas, and back in February…..


  14. 16
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Can the media please stop reporting the small floods like it’s the end of the world?

    Once you’ve seen one river you’ve seen them all.


    • 25
      Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

      Nad once you have seen one TV journalist reporting ankle deep in muddy water you don’t need another one……………….

      ……..unless they are going to fall over and drown!


    • 107
      The "Suits" At The BBC, Who Always Think They Get It About Right says:

      Oh, well, after all that Hurricane Sandy footage from America, we local broadcasters now figure, “We’ve got to show our OWN flood footage, or what kind of shithouse operation are people going to think we are?”


  15. 18
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Shouldn’t McMental be off to Rotherham to shore up the Labour vote?


  16. 19


  17. 20
    Moussa Koussa Mark 2 says:

    errrrrr Isnt The debt actually higher than in May 2010.


    • 27
      Liam Byrne ( aka Baldemort ) says:

      There’s no money left.


    • 69
      Archer Karcher says:

      Well done MKM2, you noticed.

      Yes the coalition are pissing money away faster than the lunatic McShite. I am wondering when Tories will notice ( if there are any left in the Tory party ) and do something about it, other than demand ever higher taxes to pay for their pissfest.


      • 85
        Only in the Graun says:

        Not sure how many Tories there are left but there are a good few Common Purpose ‘graduates’ I’ll wager.


  18. 22
    Silent Bob says:


  19. 23
    Julia Middleton CEO Common Purpose says:


    • 39
      The Libor party says:

      When former Soviet bloc countries joined the EU in 2004, Britain was one of only three countries to open its labour market to them immediately – even Brussels allowed a seven-year grace period.

      The then Labour government estimated that 13,000 migrants would come in the first year and none would be eligible to claim benefits. In the event, 91,000 arrived in six months and the EU then passed laws allowing migrants to claim benefits on the same basis as indigenous citizens.

      Estimates are that of 1.9 million nationals of other EU states living in Britain, 500,000 are living on benefits – 146,000 of whom have not worked since arriving here.


  20. 26
    The Libor party says:

    ‘Gordon spotted very near chamber’.

    Hasn’t he learnt to use a fucking bog yet ??


  21. 28
    Bad Nads says:

    I got my jawwwwb back if I keep my big gawwwwb shut and be nice to the possssh boys. Good innit! Loadsamoney from the meeedya coming my way.


  22. 31
    Socialist Stalker says:

    There have been more sightings of Nessie than there have been of Brown.


    • 49
      Gordon the worldsaver says:

      just seeing his kisser and the one eyed chingrinner springs back into life… to think he could have been pm now


  23. 35
    Moussa Koussa Mark 2 says:

    UKIP aren’t racist.

    They are Neo nut, homophobic, misogynist, contorted faced racists…..LOL

    You know it’s true…its why you neo nuts love them so much


    • 42
      Wotta Tossa Skid Mark 2 says:

      You’re looking in the mirror.


    • 78
      CarryHole is a Huge Hunt says:

      Says someone who wants to start a class war….

      Labour, Stop stealing kids!


      • 102

        Moussa Khoussa – you are just a skull cap badge away from dropping the Zyk.lon-B into CCHQ, aren’t you, go on you know it’s what you want to admit. You apologise for the racist behaviour of your National Socialist, big government paymasters, and then have the temerity to call us neo nuts.

        What a sad, deluded little creep you are – Jos.eph Goe.bbels without the laughs.


  24. 36
    The MacCabees says:

    We’ll fight you with our hands tied behind our backs and we will win. Meet you on the mountains or in the car park at 2.30pm.


  25. 40
    nellnewman says:

    Will gordon, I wonder, stand for election in 2015?


    • 57
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      A bigger question is, who would stand it if he did, besides a flock of somnambulist Scottish sheep in Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath, who would vote for a dead dog if it were the Labour candidate?


    • 66 says:

      Well seeing as Tony Blair was paid a fortune to make peace between Israel and the Palestinians (how’s that going Tone?) maybe Gordon will get the job of trying to make the EU accounts balance.


  26. 43
    Mr Galloway says:

    What are the first two things you should do when you wake up hungover, covered in vomit, and stinking of piss?

    Log into facebook and pray.


    • 55
      what a gig says:

      and there you are doing just what you hoped you weren’t … and your elderly parents watched the entire thing on skype


  27. 54
    Nurse Janet McCorkindale says:

    Haste ye back the noo, Pa Broon! Ye’ve forgotten your frog pills!


  28. 62 says:

    So how much has Gordon Brown defrauded the taxpayer on all his jollies when he should be at work in the Commons?


  29. 65
    David Militwit says:

    Politics is my hobby. I get wads of cash for my speeches.


  30. 75
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    All the Big Ben Bells were ringing
    In Olde Westminster Town
    And the song that they were singing?
    “Beware– it’s Little Gordie Brown!”
    And the MP’s in the Chamber
    Prayed for guidance from above:
    “Please deliver us from evil
    From this demented Scottish dee-vil!
    Save us through Thy gracious love!”


  31. 79

    There’s never a loaded Garnick .600 Overkill to hand when you need one, is there?


  32. 86
    The BBC are cnuts says:

    You wicked capitalist Tories are so greedy.


  33. 99
    Attila the Huhne says:

    “Gordon’s alive!?”

    Brian Blessed seems strangely excited by the news.


    • 146
      50 Calibre says:

      He was only ever alive from the neck down. That’s how he walked from Downing Street what the bastard was finally found out for being the pile of shit that he is and probably always was.


  34. 101
    Never stops being funny says:


  35. 103
    This Fat'un says:

    I do not wish to indulge in a Socratic dialogue which shines a light on my performance at the BBC.


  36. 110
    Guido's Stalker says:

    More worryingly is Guido alive or has he taken the afternoon off?


  37. 111
    Gordon Brown says:


  38. 113
    Big Ben says:

    Bloody Hell. Jonah’s been here, and I’ve got a tilt already.


  39. 114
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    It was the Chinese that gave patten the name ‘Fat Ponce’.


  40. 119
    Mother Nature's minor incontinence caused it. says:

    Dave’s been “learning lessons” in Buckfastleigh.

    Rain comes from the sky.
    Water flows down hill.
    Rivers overflow banks.
    Drains get blocked.
    Politicians get “We care” photo-opportunities on prime time TV
    Insurers are faced with contrived claims for household goods and car damage etc. by Joe and Josephine Public who deliberately failed to take precautions.
    Taxpayers get screwed to build pointless flood defences near old flood plains that corrupt local politicians have built on.

    Typical LabLibCon mess.


  41. 121
    Worker says:

    So in the last 3 years how many times has he been in the chamber? Twice, three, four? Whatever to not turn up is a disgrace for any MP but then they are all a**eholes only there for the money and benefits.


    • 124
      IMHO says:

      Chamber pot gets emptied four times a day.


    • 131
      He 's just blown in from the Windy City says:

      Never fear……He’ll be there on Thursday when Cameron makes his statement on Leveson and expect to be called to speak so that he can give the assembled multitudes his pearls of wisdom on press censorship


  42. 127
    Anonymous says:

    OchI heard that there was a leftover sandwhich so turned up for it
    Thats another £50 on expenses och aye the noo


  43. 132
    Jimmy says:

    In other news, Marine Le Pen is no longer the most toxic name linked to UKIP MEP Godfrey Bloom’s Euro Nutter club


  44. 133
    Jimmy says:

    In other news, you’ll never guess what one of UKIP’s Hungarian chums said today.


  45. 134
    Damned Impertinent Questions says:

    One has tae dae summfin tae get awa frae the wife


  46. 142
    The savant8.5 says:

    Is brian blessed down to star as a young lord fivebellies in the new. Mel brooks musical

    Springtime for foodies


  47. 143
    Gordon F Brown says:

    It wasn’t me. I don’t get out of bed for less than a few squillion. You see I know how to squander, I just need lot of money to do it with and now I don’t have taxpayers to screw big time…


  48. 149
    James Saveloy says:

    It was me, Jimmy the Guv’nor. Don’t believe everything you read.
    Scarborough gets cold at this time of year and I fancied a day out with the other fiddlers.


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Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on his fellow Islingtonista Emily Thornberry:

“It was an entirely run-of-the-mill English townscape, with some straightforward words to go with it. There was no obvious insult, no abuse, no overt sneering. She might have got away with it entirely, had some alert blogger not spotted it. He instantly detected the coded message that Emily Thornberry was sending to all her right-on, bien-pensant, Labour-luvvie friends in Islington, or wherever else it is that they follow her on Twitter.”

Left on Left says:

The lefties are attacking because the panellist is a millionaire and lives in a London home worth upwards of two million. Someone had best tell them he’s called Ed Miliband.

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