November 27th, 2012

PHOTO: Gordon’s Aliiiiiive!
Prime Mentalist Spotted Very Near Chamber

Guido’s mole reports a flurry of Westminster activity from the former Prime Mentalist.  Not only did Gordon actually vote last night, he almost made it into the Chamber today. But not quite! He stopped short behind the Speaker’s chair.

So, Leveson aside, why is Brown in town? Guido can report that instead of representing the people of Kirkcaldy, as he is paid to do, Gordon was showing a mysterious balding gentleman around the estate.

A doorman’s conversation was overheard by one witty Member:

Doorman: Who was that then?

MP: The former Prime Minster.

DM: No, no with him.



  1. 1
    A feminist says:

    He’s in town to advise the new bloke at the BOE.

  2. 2
    Gordoom says:

    Can’t he just be the opposite of alive?

  3. 3
  4. 4
    Tartan Baffies says:

    Let’s celebrate with a dance. The Gay Gordons.

  5. 5
    Moussa Koussa Mark 2 says:

    Great news…Two Heads Willets has announced the forming of 10 new universities

    …we need the places for all BollyBorisWoods students. I’d check Boris’s luggage very carefully on his return to UK

  6. 6
    gordon brown says:

    Don’t recognise any if this. . .

  7. 7
    Steve Miliband says:

    Lord Lucan on Shergar?

  8. 8
    Common Purpose Stasi says:

    We collectively agree with Moussa

  9. 9
    Gordon Brown says:

    I voted for David Haye

  10. 10
    Julia Middleton CEO Common Purpose says:

    I heard that Gordon Brown’s favourite film is Rainman.

  11. 11
    Anon says:

    This is frustrating, I’d already dispatched war rocket Ajax to bring back his body.

  12. 12
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    was it one of the Al Thani family? his wifes new bosses or maybe Al Fayed? with hints on how Harrods should be run.I shall certainly be closing my Harrod account down even though their their plum puddings are popular here in Blunderland or am I mixing it up with our new Poundland or Primark.

  13. 13
    Julia Middleton CEO Common Purpose says:

    Does Gordon smell?

  14. 14
    Wotta Tossa Skid Mark 2 says:

    Moussa inadvertently reveals his day job. Baggage handler at Theifrow.

  15. 15
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Is Gordon chatting up Nadine to get some tips for going into the Jungle perhaps?

  16. 16
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Can the media please stop reporting the small floods like it’s the end of the world?

    Once you’ve seen one river you’ve seen them all.

  17. 17
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    No worse than usual.

  18. 18
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Shouldn’t McMental be off to Rotherham to shore up the Labour vote?

  19. 19

  20. 20
    Moussa Koussa Mark 2 says:

    errrrrr Isnt The debt actually higher than in May 2010.

  21. 21
    Tartan Baffies says:

    He didn’t vote for you.

  22. 22
    Silent Bob says:

  23. 23
    Julia Middleton CEO Common Purpose says:

  24. 24
    Moussa Koussa Mark 2 says:

    errrrrr Didnt Dave call UKIP, “”fruitcakes who are mostly racists””

    errrrrr I think you will find, that is exactly what he said.

  25. 25
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Nad once you have seen one TV journalist reporting ankle deep in muddy water you don’t need another one……………….

    ……..unless they are going to fall over and drown!

  26. 26
    The Libor party says:

    ‘Gordon spotted very near chamber’.

    Hasn’t he learnt to use a fucking bog yet ??

  27. 27
    Liam Byrne ( aka Baldemort ) says:

    There’s no money left.

  28. 28
    Bad Nads says:

    I got my jawwwwb back if I keep my big gawwwwb shut and be nice to the possssh boys. Good innit! Loadsamoney from the meeedya coming my way.

  29. 29
    Wotta Tossa Skid Mark 2 says:

    Your stutter is getting worse.

  30. 30
    Gordon Brown ..the never forgotten years...period says:

    we’d vote for him to put your lights out

  31. 31
    Socialist Stalker says:

    There have been more sightings of Nessie than there have been of Brown.

  32. 32
    M says:

    Gordon & votes ……… Didn’t go well last time best keep him out the way

  33. 33
    Plato says:

    The truly principled M.P. would have told their party leadership to stick it.

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    What a terrifying thought!

  35. 35
    Moussa Koussa Mark 2 says:

    UKIP aren’t racist.

    They are Neo nut, homophobic, misogynist, contorted faced racists…..LOL

    You know it’s true…its why you neo nuts love them so much

  36. 36
    The MacCabees says:

    We’ll fight you with our hands tied behind our backs and we will win. Meet you on the mountains or in the car park at 2.30pm.

  37. 37
    Moussa Koussa Mark 2 says:

    ….turning into Douglas Carswell

  38. 38
    completely jungled says:

    terrace ..thames…go on its warm today

  39. 39
    The Libor party says:

    When former Soviet bloc countries joined the EU in 2004, Britain was one of only three countries to open its labour market to them immediately – even Brussels allowed a seven-year grace period.

    The then Labour government estimated that 13,000 migrants would come in the first year and none would be eligible to claim benefits. In the event, 91,000 arrived in six months and the EU then passed laws allowing migrants to claim benefits on the same basis as indigenous citizens.

    Estimates are that of 1.9 million nationals of other EU states living in Britain, 500,000 are living on benefits – 146,000 of whom have not worked since arriving here.

  40. 40
    nellnewman says:

    Will gordon, I wonder, stand for election in 2015?

  41. 41
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    Someone mention the Broons? Here they are…

  42. 42
    Wotta Tossa Skid Mark 2 says:

    You’re looking in the mirror.

  43. 43
    Mr Galloway says:

    What are the first two things you should do when you wake up hungover, covered in vomit, and stinking of piss?

    Log into facebook and pray.

  44. 44
    Deep Froat says:


  45. 45
    Wotta Tossa Skid Mark 2 says:

    More like Ugly Carsmell in your case.

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

    Letting people into the country that may one day contribute in a positive way…..Or do what Labour and our current shower of shit are doing….

  47. 47
    Jilted John says:

    Who is ‘Gordon is a Moron’ again?

    Was so Long ago I’ve forgotten!

  48. 48
    Honest View says:

    It really is beyond belief. The sooner we get out, the better. Surely this EU nightmare cannot last much longer.

  49. 49
    Gordon the worldsaver says:

    just seeing his kisser and the one eyed chingrinner springs back into life… to think he could have been pm now

  50. 50
    genghiz the kahn says:


  51. 51
    Jilted John says:

    Don’t be silly, he would scare all the creepy craw-lies away.

  52. 52
    Archer Karcher says:

    You may have forgotten, but I can promise you this. You and your children will be paying for the supreme imbeciles borrowing and spending, for all of your lives.

  53. 53
    Anonymous says:

    All those tory cuts for you……Bastards the lot of them….

  54. 54
    Nurse Janet McCorkindale says:

    Haste ye back the noo, Pa Broon! Ye’ve forgotten your frog pills!

  55. 55
    what a gig says:

    and there you are doing just what you hoped you weren’t … and your elderly parents watched the entire thing on skype

  56. 56
    Huffy Auld Man says:

    Word on the street is that the other guy with him was in fact Ming-iband the Merciless.

  57. 57
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    A bigger question is, who would stand it if he did, besides a flock of somnambulist Scottish sheep in Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath, who would vote for a dead dog if it were the Labour candidate?

  58. 58
    Jilted John says:

    Fall down a missing man hole cover would be better for media idiots.

  59. 59
    The MacCabees says:

    We’ll fight you with our hands
    tied behind our backs and we
    will win. Meet you on the
    mountains or in the car park
    at 2.30pm.

  60. 60
    Fishy says:

    Yes MK II. Six years ago…keep up.

    Sqn Leader Farridge is also suffering from delayed indignation

  61. 61
    Viz says:

    Well that wasn’t much of a laugh,

  62. 62 says:

    So how much has Gordon Brown defrauded the taxpayer on all his jollies when he should be at work in the Commons?

  63. 63
    Fishy says:

    ..and how many from non-EU states over the same period? And how many of those are claiming benefits, and have never worked???

  64. 64
  65. 65
    David Militwit says:

    Politics is my hobby. I get wads of cash for my speeches.

  66. 66 says:

    Well seeing as Tony Blair was paid a fortune to make peace between Israel and the Palestinians (how’s that going Tone?) maybe Gordon will get the job of trying to make the EU accounts balance.

  67. 67
    Gordon the Fruitcake says:

    I’ll be there with my trusty ‘save the world patent’ bogbrush ready to install you

  68. 68
    Media Alert says:

    We are simply gushing over the flooding.

  69. 69
    Archer Karcher says:

    Well done MKM2, you noticed.

    Yes the coalition are pissing money away faster than the lunatic McShite. I am wondering when Tories will notice ( if there are any left in the Tory party ) and do something about it, other than demand ever higher taxes to pay for their pissfest.

  70. 70
    T. P. Fuller says:

    That bad, eh?

  71. 71
    Archer Karcher says:

    It will last as long as the EU have their hands in our pockets and we have a government that allows them to.

  72. 72
    I am deaf says:

    Keep the noise down Bob.

  73. 73
    T. P. Fuller says:

    Completely wrong, Bob. Usually I agree with you, but you’re well out of order there.

  74. 74
    CarryHole is a Huge Hunt says:

    and those he bailed out will be living off the backs of you and your children for the rest of their lives.

  75. 75
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    All the Big Ben Bells were ringing
    In Olde Westminster Town
    And the song that they were singing?
    “Beware– it’s Little Gordie Brown!”
    And the MP’s in the Chamber
    Prayed for guidance from above:
    “Please deliver us from evil
    From this demented Scottish dee-vil!
    Save us through Thy gracious love!”

  76. 76
    CarryHole is a Huge Hunt says:

    Labour’s Common Purpose wing steals kids.

  77. 77
    CarryHole is a Huge Hunt says:

    Fakecharity Shelter ad clams “75,00 families are homeless” I’d bet most of those are non-native.

  78. 78
    CarryHole is a Huge Hunt says:

    Says someone who wants to start a class war….

    Labour, Stop stealing kids!

  79. 79

    There’s never a loaded Garnick .600 Overkill to hand when you need one, is there?

  80. 80
    Wallace and Vomit says:

    Flash – ah-aaaaaaaaaaaargh!

  81. 81
    Englishman says:

    Ah, what I expected then. I started the video, noticed it was scottish, so I stopped it…

  82. 82

    To number 5 – Mousey Khunt-Breath

    Who are ya? Who are ya?Who are ya? Who are ya?Who are ya? Who are ya?Who are ya? Who are ya?Who are ya? Who are ya?Who are ya? Who are ya?Who are ya? Who are ya?Who are ya? Who are ya?

  83. 83

    Only because he thinks it’s a film about him being an excellent driver.

  84. 84
    Charles says:

    Harrabs is no longer owned by Fayed. It belongs to the Qatari sovereign wealth fund. I was thinking I might start going there again now. But I’m not sure whether my little white and green embossed account card will be accepted. It doesn’t have an expiry date, mind.

  85. 85
    Only in the Graun says:

    Not sure how many Tories there are left but there are a good few Common Purpose ‘graduates’ I’ll wager.

  86. 86
    The BBC are cnuts says:

    You wicked capitalist Tories are so greedy.

  87. 87

    And also delayed ignition when landing light planes.

  88. 88
    ‘Dr’ Gillian McKeith says:

    A chamber pot makes it easier for him to closely inspect his jobbies.

  89. 89
    Joe Public says:

    Let’s hope it’s smallpox.

  90. 90

    He can’t balance his own mental state. AND he’s only got one battery in a 4 cell calculator, owned that way since 1997.

  91. 91
    Only in the Graun says:

    The photo was obviously taken after a good lunch.

    It’s odd how photos of mythical beings (bigfoot, nessie, brown) always seem to be blurry and indistinct.

  92. 92
    Jeremy Hunt says:

    Well, we are trying to encourage them into the WHS by forcing GPs to accept them, then they will get a card to make them legal.

  93. 93
    Rick O'Shea says:

    Yes it is actually Gabriel Byrne filming the second series of Secret State.

  94. 94
    Taciturn Ted says:


  95. 95

    ♫♪ Saviour of the economy!! ♫♪

    (Guitar riff….)

  96. 96
    Only in the Graun says:

    You don’t understand.

    It’s OK when THEY do it.

  97. 97
    Gordon says:

    I did try one of those solar powered calculators, but up here in Kirkaldy the sun shines so rarely, it never worked. Vitamin D deficiency explains a lot of the actions of we Scots.

  98. 98
    Tommy McWatson says:

    And Big ones.

  99. 99
    Attila the Huhne says:

    “Gordon’s alive!?”

    Brian Blessed seems strangely excited by the news.

  100. 100

    Think, Arafats gurney, but with a hint of wee and tramps gussett.

  101. 101
    Never stops being funny says:

  102. 102

    Moussa Khoussa – you are just a skull cap badge away from dropping the Zyk.lon-B into CCHQ, aren’t you, go on you know it’s what you want to admit. You apologise for the racist behaviour of your National Socialist, big government paymasters, and then have the temerity to call us neo nuts.

    What a sad, deluded little creep you are – Jos.eph Goe.bbels without the laughs.

  103. 103
    This Fat'un says:

    I do not wish to indulge in a Socratic dialogue which shines a light on my performance at the BBC.

  104. 104
    The MacCabees says:

    We will stick that trusty ‘save the world’ patent bogbrush up your Moral Compass. So hard you won’t know if it started in North or South America. Enjoy!

  105. 105
    Gonk III says:

    Is there an app for that ?

  106. 106
    Mike says:


  107. 107
    The "Suits" At The BBC, Who Always Think They Get It About Right says:

    Oh, well, after all that Hurricane Sandy footage from America, we local broadcasters now figure, “We’ve got to show our OWN flood footage, or what kind of shithouse operation are people going to think we are?”

  108. 108
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    The Al Thanis r the ruling family in Qatar

  109. 109
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:


  110. 110
    Guido's Stalker says:

    More worryingly is Guido alive or has he taken the afternoon off?

  111. 111
    Gordon Brown says:

  112. 112
    tinnitus says:

    Eh! What did you say.

  113. 113
    Big Ben says:

    Bloody Hell. Jonah’s been here, and I’ve got a tilt already.

  114. 114
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    It was the Chinese that gave patten the name ‘Fat Ponce’.

  115. 115
    Hugh Janus says:

    No self-respecting cockroach would go anywhere near him. Besides, they are all looking forward to breaking-up for Christmas, and back in February…..

  116. 116
    I Dell says:

    Was it Phillip Hammond playing the boss?

  117. 117
  118. 118
  119. 119
    Mother Nature's minor incontinence caused it. says:

    Dave’s been “learning lessons” in Buckfastleigh.

    Rain comes from the sky.
    Water flows down hill.
    Rivers overflow banks.
    Drains get blocked.
    Politicians get “We care” photo-opportunities on prime time TV
    Insurers are faced with contrived claims for household goods and car damage etc. by Joe and Josephine Public who deliberately failed to take precautions.
    Taxpayers get screwed to build pointless flood defences near old flood plains that corrupt local politicians have built on.

    Typical LabLibCon mess.

  120. 120
    Tony Midas says:

    Keep studying my training manual.

  121. 121
    Worker says:

    So in the last 3 years how many times has he been in the chamber? Twice, three, four? Whatever to not turn up is a disgrace for any MP but then they are all a**eholes only there for the money and benefits.

  122. 122
    IMHO says:

    Nah, they called him; “great pile of steaming Buffalo shit”.

  123. 123
    Believe nothing these **nts tell you says:

    What do you expect from the party that told us in 2003 that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction capable of hitting targets in the UK within 45 minutes and in 2006 that we would exit from Afghanistan in 6 months without a shot fired ?

  124. 124
    IMHO says:

    Chamber pot gets emptied four times a day.

  125. 125
    Inglish Tit alert says:

    I suppose in the interests of consistency you should also stop watching TV, or indeed anything electroninc ( Maxwells equations), stop driving on the roads ( Tarmacadam) and in fact almost every fucking thing in the modern world. On the other hand feel free to practice buggery, thats English.

  126. 126
    Bad Al Campbell says:

    It’s the way I tell ‘em

  127. 127
    Anonymous says:

    OchI heard that there was a leftover sandwhich so turned up for it
    Thats another £50 on expenses och aye the noo

  128. 128
    fruitcake says:

    Oi Gordo, less of the fruitcake!

  129. 129
    Fishy says:

    That’s not bad, TKdP. Is there a second verse?

  130. 130
    fruitcake says:

    Is Cameron clling me racist? F*ck*ng white trash.

  131. 131
    He 's just blown in from the Windy City says:

    Never fear……He’ll be there on Thursday when Cameron makes his statement on Leveson and expect to be called to speak so that he can give the assembled multitudes his pearls of wisdom on press censorship

  132. 132
    Jimmy says:

    In other news, Marine Le Pen is no longer the most toxic name linked to UKIP MEP Godfrey Bloom’s Euro Nutter club

  133. 133
    Jimmy says:

    In other news, you’ll never guess what one of UKIP’s Hungarian chums said today.

  134. 134
    Damned Impertinent Questions says:

    One has tae dae summfin tae get awa frae the wife

  135. 135
    Anonymous says:

    Great, the scotch television! And, er…golf. That’s it. Thanks a lot, sporran bollocks!

  136. 136
    JH says:

    Are they ‘chums’ in the same way that Labour are ‘chums’ with the Khymer Rouge?

  137. 137
  138. 138
    Jimmy says:

    No, in the same way the tories were.

  139. 139
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Isn’t Gordon just dead from the neck up?

  140. 140
    The savant8.5 says:

    Sarah says he s not too. Active from the umbilical chord down either these days.

  141. 141
    Jim says:

    Is that how the British economy was rebuilt for Brown to spend? Another history lesson forgotten! Still time for George to find another interest. Pardon the pun my life savings are rotting in England.

  142. 142
    The savant8.5 says:

    Is brian blessed down to star as a young lord fivebellies in the new. Mel brooks musical

    Springtime for foodies

  143. 143
    Gordon F Brown says:

    It wasn’t me. I don’t get out of bed for less than a few squillion. You see I know how to squander, I just need lot of money to do it with and now I don’t have taxpayers to screw big time…

  144. 144
    Gordon F Brown says:

    I am the real bigot!

  145. 145
    Gordon F Brown says:

    Of course he did. I did, but I got it!

  146. 146
    50 Calibre says:

    He was only ever alive from the neck down. That’s how he walked from Downing Street what the bastard was finally found out for being the pile of shit that he is and probably always was.

  147. 147
    NE Frontiersman says:

    In E17 we’re wondering, with little hope, whether he took the time to ask for the extradition of the murderer of a local woman who fled there two years ago.

  148. 148
    NE Frontiersman says:

    Whoops, 64 got there first.

  149. 149
    James Saveloy says:

    It was me, Jimmy the Guv’nor. Don’t believe everything you read.
    Scarborough gets cold at this time of year and I fancied a day out with the other fiddlers.

  150. 150
    Abu Hava Qatada says:

    Mrs Q loves it there these days, bought some lovely curtains for our new house last week.

  151. 151
    gildedtumbril says:

    I have always called him Witless.

Seen Elsewhere

UKIP on 23% With Survation | Mirror
UKIP Could Deal With Dave | Douglas Carswell
Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph
Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood

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