November 26th, 2012

The Sacked Soiree

After the September reshuffle sacked former ministers got together to form a drinking/dining club, loosely named the Geronimo Club due to the fact they shared the date of their demise with the old chieftain. Guido hears that the name has gone out of the window, but the grouping is going strong, indeed apparently tonight will see their inaugural knees up.

It’s an interesting choice of location: the official residence of the Chief Whip – 9 Downing Street. Sir George Young was an original member of the group and despite being called back to government, Gentleman George is still laying on the drinks. And as revealed in yesterday’s Daily Star Sunday, Caroline Spelman is bringing the canapés…


  1. 1
    Lard Pressclott of Beams, Bellies, Banjos, Bulimia, two Jags & Shags. says:

    Can a peas ? Eh ?

  2. 2
    I type with my toes says:

    No comment

  3. 3
    Kebab Time says:

    Taxpayer funded property for private function?

  4. 4
    whip the plebs says:

    and gatecrasher is bringing a souffle he whipped up earlier

  5. 5
    Lard Pressclott of Beams, Bellies, Banjos, Bulimia, two Jags & Shags. says:

    Oh !! Canapes !!! Half a ton for me, please. Oh, and a barrowload of chips too.

  6. 6
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Anyone else noticed that no one in the ‘meeja’ appears to have asked the obvious question re the east European children from Rotherham?

    1. Where are the parents?

    2. Where is the extended family for these children? is there no one who can care for them?

    3. If the dozy hag from social services thinks the cultural needs of the children are so vital why are they not returned to their country of origin where they can be cared for in a ‘culturally sensitive way’?

    Me thinks there is a lot more to this story and the natural parents we’re not being told and as usual our press can’t be arsed asking.

  7. 7
    U K I P Convert says:

    Will all the costs of this Pi*ss up, be charged to the Mug Tax Payers ???

    & I look forward to all of the names of all those attending to be published

    here first !!

    Guido ……PLEASE Name & Shame these pim*ps & pou*nces

  8. 8
    Malcolm McDowell says:

    Philip Schofield hands David Cameron a list of UKIP members, live on air..

  9. 9
    Fiscal Cliff says:

    So Carney came to London 8 days ago, submitted application, and was interviewed all in the same day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. 10
    fat slob alert... says:

    another nosebag for the fat bastard in the steward’s uniform please waiter

  11. 11
    EC1 PhD says:

    Pointless post

  12. 12
    Rottenham's rotten Labour Council says:


  13. 13
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    Ross Kemp nazzie london censored blackout here too?

  14. 14
    I'm not prejudiced; I hate all MPs. says:

    I’ve wondered that, too. I would guess the parents are currently languishing at Her Majesty’s pleasure for some typical east-Europeany type crime: metal theft from church roofs or railway lines, running a prostitution ring, that sort of stuff.

    Standard LibLabCon Disclaimer: although immigration introduces some challenges, it mainly brings many economic benefits and enriches our culture.

  15. 15
    Philip Scumfield says:

    A quick three minute search on the internet reveals so much.

  16. 16
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    Oh goodie, I can speak what I want to here then, without wearing my keyboard out for a nothing.

    Right, right – what were we talking about again?

  17. 17
    I ain't prejudiced; I hate all MPs. says:

    I’ve wondered that, too. I would guess the parents are currently languishing at Her Majesty’s pleasure for some typical east-Europeany type crime: metal theft from church roofs or railway lines, running a prostitution ring, that sort of stuff.

  18. 18
    not a machine reloaded says:

    Ah yes those battles Mr speaker Little Bighorn and Mitchell at wounded Ego …. Geronimo …..

  19. 19
    not a machine reloaded says:

    Were just trying to get as much in pre levenson as we can ……

  20. 20
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    Ah yes, the geronima club, as the torys call us provincials, the thick over-priveleged hunts they are, lost in over-priveledgedness in time. Wonder how many of their family flew for the RAF to save the SE of England? Let me guess – NONE, the seasick ignorant tory Hunts. Speak to them Vera, ok sing then Vera,

    Fucking present day SE England tory Hunts – don’t know they are born.

  21. 21
    nellnewman says:

    I trust that food and drink is not being supplied out of taxpayers money. Also it’s a Monday, most of us wouldn’t dream of clearing off to a party on a Monday night when we have work on the Tuesday.

    But then one can’t honestly say MP’s work so guess it doesn’t matter.

  22. 22
    not a machine reloaded says:

    I am not going to comment on these names it could start in fruitcake hunt

  23. 23
    Tachybaptus says:

    Isn’t the name mainly because ‘Geronimo’ is what you shout when jumping out of an aeroplane?

  24. 24
    nellnewman says:

    Not to worry davidcameron is going to develop a backbone before Wednesday and tell leveson what he can do with statutory press controls. Well maybe. Then maybe not.

  25. 25
    nellnewman says:

    Let’s hope it’s not also taxpayer funded food and drink plus the taxpayer funded staff to cook and serve it!

  26. 26
    anon. says:


    Ridley says she has got the dirt on Labour:

  27. 27
    charlie kennedy's diaries says:

    speak for yourself nellie … a well stocked cocktail party after a steady monday is not a bad way to start the week

  28. 28
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    Song for all britland for here where I am, well britland indian country, and if you don’t mind at all, I will follow it with an xmas card for all the heathens that visit here, hypocritically for the 25th of dec,

    Ok, it is Gilliam, from Monty P, so? Happy fecking xmas all, all the fecking same, twats!

    Hope you all choke on your turkey and your bit of braed sage and onion stuffing! There, feel quite cleansed now, as I get off my soap box.

  29. 29
    don't forget we're above the dining room says:

    or off the wardrobe ?

  30. 30
    Shadow unelected government says:

    Carney is a Goldman Sachs plant, they are the banking equivalent of Common Purpose.

  31. 31
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    I’m having a canofbeans not canapes. Why would they have peas?

  32. 32
    Huffy says:

    It’s the AUSTERITY measures mate!

  33. 33
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m comming with a couple of cans in a bag!

    Not realy. Tee Hee, there only bricks, that’s how I trick people, and get to drink their booze. Tee, Hee. Don’t tell them.

  34. 34
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Just when there are difficult questions to answer, Thacker copied McMental and disappeared into the bunker.

  35. 35
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    Thanks both, got my fumming mind back on general us Britland track, yessireee. Hope you both like the “crap” I indian posted?

  36. 36

    Nigel Farage has said he can’t see any prospect of a UKIP/Con coalition while Dave is leader.

    Nasty! The last time such a backhand was used it was when Clegg told Labour that unless they got their tramp and his gimp smell out of the office, there could never be a deal.

    It would be much better if everyone could take their chairs on the right sides of the House. This socialist/liberal/wet Tory government hasn’t found many friends.
    Far better to have Tories and their hard right purple pals on one side and Labour and their communist green and rage red Liberal friends on the left of them.
    Everyone would be happier.

    Except possibly Nick Clegg. And possibly David Cameron. And Ed Miliband, who has no greater wish to deal with ‘the ww2 Italian style’ Liberals than any one else does.

  37. 37
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Difficult this one the Bbbc, don’t want to know about it, for obvious reasons. Dave can’t say anything as it will inevitably give UKIP a leg-up.

    Yet it is a democratic scandal of mega proportions.

  38. 38
    Mad Nads says:

    I’m having shredded snake with locust gratings, spicy donkey fleas and sheep penis in white sauce dip.

    I picked up the taste from somewhere.

  39. 39
    Reports on desk first thing Monday morning says:

    Has she been suspended yet ? If not, why not ?

  40. 40
    Wallace and Vomit says:

    or down a chute Lad?

  41. 41
    Lord Mantlepiece (Hartlepool) says:

    And I’ll bring the guacamole too, or mushy peas, should you prefer.

  42. 42
    Fang Pat says:

    Get a grip.

  43. 43
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    some might be confused, se england mainly, about that first vid and song, it is Gallicia in north-western Iberian celt as welsh and cornish and bretagne, just as british as us really, when they moved there, shoved out elsewher in brit time, from the the time of Arthur, lost in Time Teams Baldrick’s Tony Robinson fine telly shit.

  44. 44
    4 ied says:

    G Sucks, CP, “mafia for the mediocre”

  45. 45
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    fuck off tory

  46. 46
    Osama Bin Liner says:


  47. 47
    green ink says:

    the initial judgement was that the libdems couldn’t be relied upon .. reality says that was right.

  48. 48
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    let me guess – you are an estate agent? No? Run a loads of hairdressers then?

  49. 49
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Yes the media have now killed the story. I suspect the parents are in jail for something quite severe, once again, the press hide the truth, meanwhile the BBC like to fill the news with the strolling Bones shite.

    Feed the proles crap

  50. 50
    IMHO says:

    The master of the house will make sure that the Tantalus is securely locked and the key hidden in a safe place before you turn up for work on Tuesday at Norfolk Towers. :-P :-)

  51. 51
    Twatson says:

    I have been compiling a list of UKIP MEPs for some time.

    At times I have felt my life to be threatened.

    This will rock the establishment to its core, just as soon as I work out how to angle this for my own benefit.

  52. 52
    Gooey Blob says:

    I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention their hard purple pals as I’m trying to eat my tea.

  53. 53
    its bleak in sunderland says:

    Let is up that this soiree is not at the taxpayers expense!

  54. 54
    first, choke a chicken says:

    A bit like cottaging but without the canapes 8illy.

  55. 55
    Duty Pedant says:

    Point of order – I believe that the Official Residence of the Chief Whip is in fact No 12 Downing Street, No 9 currently being the Office of the Chief Whip….

  56. 56
    they can't spell up there either says:

    oh no never

  57. 57
    Mr Magisrate says:

    Remember, your restraining order is for 5,000 yards and encompasses the whole of Downing Street

  58. 58
    Dr Caring says:

    Someone rang us? An escaped patient. Possibly dangerous. Certainly frothing and deranged. Bulging eyes and a urine taint?
    we have brought two sizes of patient restraint. the normal and the extra loon. Do you still require this service?

  59. 59
    Mr &Mrs Auld Pishstains -Labour voting arseholes in Edinburgh says:

    Show me the way to go home.

  60. 60
    Angela Merkel donates enormous brankwurst says:

    we’ve got something very special for you your minceness but would you kindly sit in the fridge for half an hour before coming so we have something cool to slip it into.

  61. 61
    Well it's a thought says:

    I can’t understand if cultural needs for the children were required why didn’t they place them other families of the same culture or is looking after kids from other cultures left to the daft people of this country, who open their houses to people then get crapped on from hypocritical PC idiots, still it’s told people that charity does begin at home and the less you help officialdom the less hassle for yourselves .

  62. 62
    Sarah knows best says:

    sorry gordon but you’re spending another night over the settee..

  63. 63
    You CAN Help says:

    “More than 13 million people live below the poverty line in the UK. This includes one in three children. Families across the country are struggling to put meals on their tables.

    The Salvation Army has revealed that the number of food parcels being given out from their food centres have doubled in two years.

    You can help

    We want to collect as many cans of food as possible, to help as many people as possible. We’re asking everyone to donate cans of food at participating Co-operative Food stores. The Salvation Army will distribute donated cans which will help people in your community.”

  64. 64
    IMHO says:

    Cannon to right of them,
    Cannon to left of them,
    Cannon behind them
    Volley’d and thunder’d;
    Storm’d at with shot and shell,
    While horse and hero fell,
    They that had fought so well
    Came thro’ the jaws of Death,
    Back from the mouth of Hell,
    All that was left of them,
    Left of six hundred.
    When can their glory fade ?
    O the wild charge they made!
    All the world wonder’d.
    Honour the charge they made!
    Honour the Light Brigade,
    Noble six hundred!
    (648 ish).


  65. 65
    When is the vulterous Danny Boyle going to fuck and do one. says:

    Rewarding failure. Nothing new about that.

  66. 66
    Anonymous says:

    firstly they came for your children. when that did not work, they came for your printng presses.

  67. 67
    cynthia payne says:

    I beg to differ, the address of the Chief Whip is number 69 m’lud. I rest my case.

  68. 68
    Anonymous says:

    austerity….is only for those who are taxed.

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

    Anybody seen any starving/obese children about? Please help these muppets with a reality check.

  70. 70
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    Any lasses amongst ‘em?

    Get yer tits oot for the lads :)

  71. 71
    what a wheeze says:

    perhaps you’re just not stooping low enough yet

  72. 72
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    ffs it is the taking part that matters !!

  73. 73
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    Tits oot for the lads :)

  74. 74
    incoming.... says:

    one fuck of a gig

  75. 75
    Operation Crossbow says:

    You can bet if the couple had refused to take the kids the council would have attacked them for that as well.

    I notice that the BBC keep trying to link the BennnnnP to this as well

  76. 76
  77. 77
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

  78. 78
    give give give says:

    I live 14 floors up a tower block and the lifts bust but I’ve just thrown 3 cans of sweetcorn at the local dosser… now he might be a dosser but hes definitely
    agile..he caught every one and shouted thanks… he didn’t so well when he tried catching the old fridge…

  79. 79
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    The Grovesnor?

  80. 80
    Bob Fleming says:

    well I do hope she’s not going to keep them to herself

  81. 81
    Nadine Dories says:

    Lazy work shy bunch.

  82. 82
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    David Blanchflower on Channel 4 news – tosser.

  83. 83
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Actually, since nowadays the “Native Americans” (the official politically-correct name for Red Indians) are (lawfully) allowed to own gambling operations and to sell cigarettes not subject to taxation, i.e., some sorts of things mobsters used to be involved in, I thought the name might have stemmed from a perhaps more relaxed scrutiny of their outside interests, i.e., now they too can operate more openly like the Mob did.

  84. 84
    Bob Fleming says:

    not sure I’d want her sitting next to me on a flight

  85. 85
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Eh hem BBC, where are the inquiry reports into Newsnight? Buried away with the Balen reports no doubt.

    They won’t see the light of day.

    By the end of November we were told, well it’s the 26th and of course the BBC would never dream of releasing their reports on the same day as Leveson comes out would they now?

    A good day to bury bad news BBC?

  86. 86
    Huffy says:

    Absolutely and I apologise to all our politicians for using the “A” word, I did not mean to offend, upset nor cast aspersions, in case I get sued by some skiving, thieving piece of detritus. ( I am down to my last McLibel voucher!)

  87. 87
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    Mastectomy city!

  88. 88
    Mark Carney says:

    As well as writing The Wind In The Willows, Kenneth Grahame also worked as the Secretary of the Bank of England.

  89. 89
    The savant8.5 says:

    Blackadder. Says :

    I ve got a cunning plan mother brawn

    Let s just hang you draw you quarter you. Then keel haul you then dissolve your remains in nitric acid just in case there are signs of life left on any remains …
    Would you like that my dear ??

  90. 90
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    bring an army, I am going to feck this xmas up for you all, you hypocrit brits. Think of the churalildahn, give it a rest? You adilts are so far up your brit arses you couldn’t give a ha’penny for the kidies about, ey Mr Dickens?

    And Dylan too, if you are that way inclined too, as I am,

  91. 91
    Mark Carney says:

    BREAKING NEWS it’s raining. 😢😢

  92. 92 says:

    At least he isn’t tainted by the Brown years.

  93. 93
    IMHO says:

    How can the BBC possibly be trusted anyway (one of there favourite words when applied by themselves and to themselves) to give an objective report into themselves, It is a nonsense, how many millions of pounds have now been spent paying Lawyers and QCs from your TV licence fee money ( those that choose to pay it) to protect their rotten edifice.

  94. 94
    Mark Carney says:

    Did you know the gas board add an additive to gas to give a distinct odour to alert the public of leaks. I do the same thing, Vindaloo.

  95. 95
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron still keeping schtum about Rotherham? Not surprising when he’s busy promoting Common Purpose in India -:

  96. 96
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    What about the hosepipe ban?

  97. 97
    IMHO says:

    No surprise where the inspiration for his book came from then, the board of directors; Ratty, Badger, Mole, Toad and the Weasels.

  98. 98
    Nadine Dories says:

    Those two posh boys don’t know the taste of beetles.

  99. 99
    Old men jumping around says:

    Was I the only one who thought Jagger looked utterly fucking ridiculous ?

  100. 100
    The Public says:

    We think our culture is very enriched as it is. We are fed up with stand-offish people who don’t appreciate British culture and want us to be more like somewhere else, especially as ‘somewhere else’ is usually a very dull or unpleasant place indeed.

  101. 101
    Gordon Brown says:

    Christmas can be dangerous for some children. They might shoot their eye out. Trust me, it’s something you do not want to have happen.

  102. 102
    Everyone under fifty says:

    Jagger who?

  103. 103
    Nothing wrong with fruitcake says:

  104. 104
    Operation Crossbow says:

    The clip I saw on the news sounded awful, Jagger looks dead

  105. 105
    I type with my Dick says:

    It’s too big for a QWERTY keyboard …….!

  106. 106
    Dr Caring says:

    In case of emergency, break wind.

  107. 107
    Jabba the Hutt mp Mid-Sussex says:

    Hi Madam Cyn, are you still in Streatham.

    If so I will pop round for some free enjoyment.

  108. 108
    Grow old gracefully says:

    Jagger’s looked dead since about 1980. It was the other tw@t on stage, wearing a red bandana, who looked really sad.

    70 years old and wearing a bandana. What an utter c*nt.

  109. 109
    Mick Jagged Lips says:

    Don’t give us shit man. You know us OAP’s are struggling financially.

  110. 110
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    Accidents do happen, that’s life, you silly obvious sod.

  111. 111
    Gosbourne of the nasty party says:

    I am making more brown years for many years into the future!

  112. 112
  113. 113
    Sports Fan says:

    It would be a more impressive shot if he had a few MPs

  114. 114
    Revd. (£rd Fucking Way) Phoney B£iar, sanctimonious git and £iar, emoting and wiv stupid grin says:

    Hi !!!

    Sorry to gatecrash! – but I‘ve just stopped by to say that in a very moving and deeply spiritual way – to which I and Cherry have given much thought – that I am the very most perfectly perfect person to become President of the €USSR. I say this with the utmost modesty whilst trying to cover up my scintillating qualifications and incontestable wonderfulness.

    You do believe me don’t you – cos I’m a straightkindaguy – and you do remember voting for me don’t you?

    Anyway – hav a nice Partee – and remember what I said – call me if you need help with anything that I can fix!

  115. 115
    Chapped Lips says:

    They won’t get a cheque out of me. The Co-operative have their own policial party. its outrageous. What if Goldman Sachs or Virgin did the same?

  116. 116
    goddd says:

    Yes, Jagger looked wrecked but fair play to him for the effort.
    What gets me about the Stones gig is the fact that some pathetic poxy curfew prevented the band from playing Satisfaction.
    50 years of shows, a fortune for a ticket, full house and some jobsworth decision puts a stop to a song. That type of person needs hung by the neck and hit with sticks.

  117. 117
    Dwarf says:

    You taking the Pi ss mister

  118. 118
    Roger the Rodgered Lodger says:

    I’ve got something you can swirl round your mouth ducky.

  119. 119
    Johnny Logical says:

    If they wanted to play an extra song they should have started their set 10 minutes early

  120. 120
    on me head son... says:

    his dad could score a right good goal though

  121. 121
    she likes a ditheringdoo says:

    is it the aussie clap that makes your snatch taste of beetles ?

  122. 122
    Engineer says:

    Don’t worry. We’re sure to have one next year.

  123. 123
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    Caught loads of rabbits with my .22 air rifle, running up tp them going round in circles hit on the ground, grabbing their head and back legs and, expand, click click click. Gutting them was a bit stinky though, leaving the entrails for the foxes to have. Then back home with onions carrots and a special bag of bucre garni in a stew – yum yum.

    You have never lived if you have not hunted a wild animal and carniverously ate it. And their coats do make nice winter gloves, dried with lime stretched out on pegs, with a bit of cutting for fingers and sowing. Let me know if you want a pair, fur on the inside of course.

  124. 124
    Engineer says:

    The subject has been extensively covered in literature. ‘Gone with the Wind’, for example.

  125. 125
    bunterwatch says:

    well hes such a slug what else could you do ?

  126. 126
    IMHO says:

    Can’t relieve myself in a public convenience any more?. :-)

  127. 127
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    You name it, I’ll die by it…

  128. 128
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

  129. 129
    The BBC are cnuts says:

    Furore over Long Willcox….

  130. 130
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside (with a view towards 99% white N. Wales) says:

    With the benefits I’m getting I’m definitely not below the poverty line. Browsing the web all evening and mostly dividing my time between reading this blog and buying stuff on Amazon.

  131. 131
    Balls Up - sponsored by the Balls Broadcasting Corporation says:

    Carney and I are great mates. I both lauded and stated my friendship and working with him in Parliament today.
    My speech has been constantly on the BBC, though they later had to edit it to remove my lousy impediments.
    Brownosing is what I do best.

  132. 132
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    Some people are so imaginative, nooorrrt.

    They remnd me of that lootenant that was obviously a brain dead US republican, trying to be a DJ like Robin Williams as here,

  133. 133
    Anonymous says:

    Precisely, it’s obvious this is politically motivated. This wouldn’t have happened if a Labour government was in power. A cheap stunt.

  134. 134
    oooer... says:

    Mr and Mrs Long Will Cocks get sucked into bbc affair

  135. 135
    Here Comes Fatty With His Sack O' Shit says:

    Here comes Fatty with his sack o’ shit:

  136. 136
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    ten HUTT!

  137. 137
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    and I do want my nazzie scalps…

    H17 Sheffield, Quentin T, and the inglorious basterds,

    and ah want my nazzie scalps!

  138. 138
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Not so much as hip, more hip replacement.

  139. 139
    Private Eye goes left says:

    Has Private Eye’s Ian His lop got a soft spot for Common Purpose? James Deling pole thinks he might:

  140. 140
  141. 141
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    oh prezza, knees of mother brawn!

  142. 142
    Saffron says:

    Not interested in a couple of beeboids having it off.
    More interested in the rotherh-m harridan and the attempted cover up.
    Ukip should do well out of this,farage vs cammoron bring it on,break out the popcorn and sit back.
    Place your bets folks on the outcome,a PR twit against a man who wants to take away the power of the EUSSR to rule us despite us being a sovereign nation.
    I know what my bet will be and it ain’t on the PR twit.
    Hopefully rotherh-m by election will show which way the wind is blowing.

  143. 143
    hislop shmislop says:

    Hislop has become just another establishment apologist. He joined that creepy champagne socialist non-comic Marcus Brigshitestock in defending Common Purpose on last weeks HIGNFY.

    Private Eye has been going down the pan ever since the slimy dwarfish hypocrite took over from Ingrams.

  144. 144
    Bass Guitarist says:

    The Counterfeit Stones are better musicians and funny. Have seen them many times for a fraction of the cost.

  145. 145
    smugometer says:

    smarmy smug gits a creep who likes the limelight’s shilling

  146. 146
    Anonymous says:

    Agreed- the Counterfeit Stones are a right laugh.

  147. 147
    Anonymous says:

    They’re trying to kill the story until after the bye election.
    The Labour candidate has ducked out of a public meeting his evening. Is she worried about people questioning her membership of sinister secretive organisation Common Purpose,like child snatcher Joyce Thacker???

  148. 148
    Incredulous says:

    Labour joking about grooming in Rotherham??
    Are you serious?

  149. 149
    Bill Cash says:

    Exclusive: Eight Tory MPs in talks about defecting to Ukip

    Eight Conservative MPs have held talks with senior figures in Ukip about defecting to the Eurosceptic party, Guido Fawkes can reveal.

  150. 150
    Little Troll says:

    But not a joke like the Rolling Stones.

  151. 151
    Hadrian (Emp.) says:

    Why does `Ed The ball have to copy The Who when replying to Osbert`s shock announcement, has he not seen the George film, get it sorted man.

  152. 152
    Dwarf says:

    Just slide back under the rock you came from

  153. 153
    Jimmy says:

    Is this the same 8 as last time or a different 8?

  154. 154
    Jimmy's Quote of the Day says:

    “Some people take on being gay as a sort of fashion,” he said.

    “Celebrities come out to become more well known, it gets attention. It’s a fact of life that some people actually are gay. They are what they are.

    “They can’t help it but the other bunch take on being gay as a fashion and push it because they have nothing better to do with their lives. They let the side down.”

    [Winston McKenzie, Monster Raving UKIP candidate, Croydon N.]

  155. 155
    Anal Discharger says:

    Can’t even have a shit

  156. 156
    Anal Discharger says:

    Pooh what a whiff.

  157. 157
    Fishy says:


  158. 158
  159. 159
    Jimmy the Dhimmi says:

    Jimmy’s Dope of the Day.

  160. 160
    Jeremy 'TaxPlan' Paxman says:

    They couldn’t afford my redundancy package.

  161. 161
    albacore says:

    No kidding, MPs playing musical chairs
    We’ve heard that one before, so who really cares?
    They used to brag “Safe as the Bank of England”
    Now that’s safest governed by a foreign hand

  162. 162
    Sarah ( a beard is for life not just for charity) says:

    I would gladly supply them with a canofpee !

  163. 163
    Anonymous says:

    safe as the printing presses at the BoE.

  164. 164
    Dr BrEast says:

    Dont pay them
    Its’s a public service
    Turn up
    and vote for the views of your constituents
    That’s good
    Line yout pockets or a rent boys arse
    that’s bad
    Then they all fu kc off home
    Caught peddling influence?
    Mandelslime style you get Putined

  165. 165
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    The Liverpool pathway explained in simple terms

  166. 166
    ah! monika's moniker is a gonner says:

    Vomiting bug is sweeping the country.

    You don’t HAVE to watch the Rolling Stones!

  167. 167
    Blowing Whistles says:

    timedelaysaredreadful – The Board of the Scott Trust [Guardian] are dreadful as well – especially the shysters on the Board.

  168. 168
    Leave a light on says:

    How many people actually go to public meetings who haven’t already made their minds up?

  169. 169
    Politicians says:

    talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk

    There, that’s our job done. The rest of you can live your lives, but we are not going to do anything to make them better. Now, pay your taxes and shove over to make room for these newcomers.

  170. 170
    Everyone under fifty says:


  171. 171
    rage against the machine says:

    I’m uncommon purpose, fuck the common purpose.

  172. 172
    Peter and the Wolf says:

    Trouble is he came out with so much tosh previously, it is hard to take him seriously

  173. 173
    Ed Miliband's Accountant says:

    Are the Rolling Stones pensioners or predators?

  174. 174
    BBC Impartiality is a Fraud says:

    The BBC has been refusing to fulfill its charter to inform the public about the candidates during the Rotherham by-election

  175. 175

    A popular beat combo from the 1960’s. Quite fashionable in their day.
    If you want to know what they look like now I suggest a browse through a world of leather water damaged sample book.

  176. 176
    Knees of Mother Brawn says:

    Neutral european countries, what the fuck are they, what higher rules do they live tom swiss and swedes and ireland? If you told the Vikings that concept they would laugh in your mush, then cleave the head off your neck.

    While germany got excited a couple of thimes in my main century, with swiss holding money – why not swiss adolf, doesn’t make natural sense, with their vast mountain vaults full of money, why pick gold fillings from burnt bodies?

    Irrational questions that have no answers, or is it due to a certain family, rothetc? They must have good hypnotherapists, making certain country leaders act as they do, while missing the obvious.

  177. 177
    A young man says:

    Tell me, can they be trusted? They seem well over 30.

  178. 178
    not a machine reloaded says:

    I didnt realise it was a game of social attention top trumps , cards could have following layout .
    council child care Liverpool care path
    No of people directly worried 5 1000s
    No of people indirectly worried 1000s 10000s
    secretive organisation running it yes yes
    its a rats nest pass me the flame
    thrower factor 10 8
    ammount of social workers 10000s 0
    customer processing shoddy final no returns acc

    The thought of an EU pathway to propserity had crossed my mind although with portugal ditching Eurovison attempt , some sort of beurocrats in need must have been considered , but they just couldnt agree on the correct pudsy type toy as emblem , kept comming up with a multilingual cannibalistic octupuss .

    You useually can tell when Blair is back , the limos all gather in one place , he tells people with lots of money , not to give up on the EU as money will return to those guided by his clique , as the sheer population of suckers dictates theres enough personal taxation to be had in crazy investment scams , no one will notice its just an unaacoutable front office with special tellers for lobbiests who understand wealth out of socialism is fact ..

    However I couldnt help but notice that one of tonys devices made a comeback , yes that nice line on Science (or maths if your a purist) being the universal language which binds us all together , I know its only quantum theory , but I like it , yeah yeah yeah (stones gag). Now there are a lot of umms , pres and deep thought about science being promoted as any sort of alpha and omega of why we or anything else exists . This idea that we have through complete knowledge of our enviroment some how entered a post religion era , was probebly what early socialists were struggling with . The race to declare wether science is final or God , is a pretty much impossible task , indeed you will perhaps be aware that media has to steer pretty clear of it in the UK , which seems reasonable if the reporting of what is seen and not unseen is your only option ..
    I wish I could conslusively prove to all of those doused in the assurity of purly logical science that the Bible is more important , that there is somthing about life , that is beyond carbon,hydrogen ,oxygen and nitrogen units and coffin residues . I have hinted at the failings of purely logical systems of human control , but it is rather hard to convince when so much money can be thrown at it and rather a lot of work for an individual to go through before , he/she gets at the unanswerable questions where all the money in the world doesnt matter in the end .
    i suppose the only question that concerns freedom (although i am also thinking the freedom to live and believe in christ) is what can you do if the rich and powerful believe in somthing that is wonk and minister it unto everyone else …. that perhaps is a good question as we get into this new era . You can defend yourself with good education (noting labour werent keen on good education as people would ask questions about money ) , answering questions is in someways a lifelong process .
    If you are unable to fight the wonk , if well funded enough it will dominate , and how human are you with a mind full of wonk ?? …… and where and whos wonk was it in the first place , and were they a bit wonk but no one ever noticed it …
    I take the view that our own minds are the only workable unit as keeping any moral structure viable , the idea that just because you can induce mass a moral histeria or belief proves science , only adds to my belief that socialism will end in violent tears and rebellion upon its elites as will wrong love and senseless worship of corporate goods , services and power.

    Its not really a fair fight when the corporate gods replace and rubbish the creator god without answering on what it is based , i mean its no better than mere grooming for a mere common (but undesclosed) purpose . At this point I guess your wondering if my belief will cure the debt or make stock markets rise mmmm but then you might ask the question in what spirit did these people cause the problem , which the bible does seem to talk a lot about.
    mmmm so is it all 1s and 0s and media in the end of the question ,, if wisdom and not random and is akin to having a key , socialism is a fraud . I wont hold my breath waiting for it turn up as parliamentary debate …

  179. 179
    not a machine reloaded says:

    the top paragraph had a different spaced layout when i posted it , as per competing top trumps layouts , my spacing sytem has not worked out , sorry .

  180. 180
    not a machine reloaded says:

    Lib dems Dr Death wasnt on , must have shuffled him off , to lighten the load and try and make the bird fly …..

  181. 181
    not a machine reloaded says:

    Croyden so far has produced little in terms of political juice , all tunnels an trenches so far by the looks of it . I still think there is time for some good ones from Croyden even though Rotherham seems to be the more interesting one , Labour candidate pulling out radio Sheffield husting was most unusual . Any Croyden radio husting happening ??

  182. 182
    not a machine reloaded says:

    LOL … Oldholborn first to question Osbournes BOE choice , outdone Guido on graphics explantion

  183. 183
    Fog says:

    Mrs Carney, who met her husband, Mark, at Oxford, is vice-president of Canada 2020, a Left-wing think tank, and reviews environmentally-friendly products.

  184. 184
    Matt Rix says:

    I’m a libertarian and I’m gettin outta here.

  185. 185
    Archie says:

    Never mind all that bollocks, Gellie, mein gute Frau! Look at what Nige is cooking up with Cameron’s awkward squad!

  186. 186
    Sounds like a vicar trying to give a sermon while on LSD says:

    I doubt anybody bothered reading that in full, the author included.

  187. 187
    Forward chaps I shall be right behind you says:

    Surely this is more fitting for an old Etonian to rally the chaps ?

    There’s a breathless hush in the Close to-night —
    Ten to make and the match to win —
    A bumping pitch and a blinding light,
    An hour to play and the last man in.
    And it’s not for the sake of a ribboned coat,
    Or the selfish hope of a season’s fame,
    But his Captain’s hand on his shoulder smote —
    ‘Play up! play up! and play the game!’

    The sand of the desert is sodden red, —
    Red with the wreck of a square that broke; —
    The Gatling’s jammed and the Colonel dead,
    And the regiment blind with dust and smoke.
    The river of death has brimmed his banks,
    And England’s far, and Honour a name,
    But the voice of a schoolboy rallies the ranks:
    ‘Play up! play up! and play the game!’

    This is the word that year by year,
    While in her place the School is set,
    Every one of her sons must hear,
    And none that hears it dare forget.
    This they all with a joyful mind
    Bear through life like a torch in flame,
    And falling fling to the host behind —
    ‘Play up! play up! and play the game!’

  188. 188
    Mark Carney says:

    Ed_Miliband, EdBalls & Guido Fawkes expected to say later that Cameron & Osborne’s economic plan has been failing & they stood up for wrong people.

  189. 189
    Mark Carney says:

    Eurozone finance ministers and Guido Fawkes reach an agreement on an urgently needed bailout for debt-laden Britain.

  190. 190
    Full up inside. Move along please says:

    Neutral football fans?

  191. 191
    Mark Carney says:

    I knew Paralympic swimmer Ellie Simmonds would be on the Sports Personality Of The Year short list.

  192. 192
    Nadz says:

    I’ve got a tasty prawn ring. Fill yer boots.

  193. 193
    Sally's other quarter says:

    Me too.

  194. 194
    meateorologist says:

    You are not alone. Many people have had to suffer 16 inches this month.

  195. 195
    Junk it flaunt it move it inka dinka dinka pumped up kicks says:

    Voice recognition is a gimmick voice recognition is the game which

  196. 196
    Money go round. says:

    So Greece has been given another cheapo loan by Germany so that Greece can service the interest payments that it has with the banks of Germany..

  197. 197
    Lefty drone says:

    What a monster for saying that.

    We all know that people are gay because they are just, well, fantastic.

  198. 198
    Sarah ( a beard is for life not just for charity) says:

    Shame there was not another 649 attendees

    Bet we still paid for the lot on MP’s entertainment expences !

  199. 199
    Sarah ( a beard is for life not just for charity) says:

    sky news showing a clip of a fireman filling a sandbag
    Fuckin flood will be over before he’s filled it , next to him theres an old man filling them ten times quicker one handed !

  200. 200
    Mark Carney says:

    A THINK TANK designed to improve financial practice in the City has suspended a senior manager and called in the police over alleged fraud in the organisation.
    The International Centre for Financial Regulation (ICFR) has reported the incident to the City of London Police

  201. 201
    Anonymous says:

    The Sally Army is currently advertising for a Centre Manager in Scotland on £31,000pa and a Regional Estate Manager in London on £32,500pa.
    You’d buy a fair few tins of beans with that sort of cash…

  202. 202
    Reservoir Dogs says:

    Pointless anyway. A bag of sand is porous. Now that fat lady next to the fireman is a mobile dam, she could block that gateway by simply sitting in front of it.

  203. 203
    Nummer says:

    Has anyone noticed the resemblance between Gordon Brown and Pippa Middleton?

  204. 204
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve read and enjoyed Private Eye for over 30 years. Until recently I’d never heard of Common Purpose.
    But since these latest revelations I’m struck by how just how many names of individuals and organisations with CP links I recognise from Private Eye.
    Figures from the police, politics and quangos tarnished with scandal who’s names have cropped up in the Eye with depressing regularity.

Seen Elsewhere

UKIP on 23% With Survation | Mirror
UKIP Could Deal With Dave | Douglas Carswell
Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph
Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers