November 26th, 2012

Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View


87 Comments

  1. 1
    Michael Parkinson says:

    Hello, I’m Michael.

    Can I interest any of you in life insurance?

  2. 2
    Rob Wilson, M.P. says:

    Michael, you are supposed to declare any financial interest before engaging in promotional activities on a public blog.

    I’m placing this complaint in the public domain and I am reporting you to the FSA.

  3. 3
    John Prescott says:

    Shut up you fookin’ suthern jessie.

    If Michal wants to sell car insurance, then let im. As Ed announcicated yesteryear, we are nowe living in the Age of Chancers and this is a contuinuation from Tony and Gordon who enuncicated the principal and Ed is takin this forward but the people will decide and that is why Ed is announicating his initiate now for the Age of Chancers.

  4. 4
    Taxing time , pay up says:

    I thought they had stopped selling encyclopedia’s, another book that cost the taxpayers millions and will be left unread.

  5. 5
    I Squiggle says:

    I suppose its marginally better than last week’s. Marginally..

  6. 6
    George Galloway (Fat Controller) says:

    All change!

  7. 7
    Michael Parkinson says:

    I’ve met hundreds of interesting people.

  8. 8
    ianhillsatsparklingsites says:

    Common Purpose doesn’t just train you to shoot visa overstayers. It helps you get promotion afterwards too. Of course you have to offer favours in return, like using Sue Akers to tell the Guardian which NoW hacks will be fingered next. But that’s all part of “leading beyond authority”, so Julia says.

  9. 9
    David Cameron says:

    I give you all a cast iron guarantee – I am a modern man, I read the Guardian and I will protect the celebrities and the murdered children by regulating the press. From now on before anyone is allowed to write for a newspaper they must be given a licence by a board at the new “Free Press Organisation”. The board will include an MP, a local councillor, an equalities activist, a representative from the Equalities Commission, a representative from a major feminist campaigning group, a BBC employee, a Guardian journalist, a trade union representative and a non-political laywoman as chosen with the same criteria as BBC’s Question Time.

    Any articles that are complained about or about which the BBC and Guardian can whip up a twitter storm will be referred to this new, modernising board. If the journalist is found guilty of phone hacking, patriotism, arguing against multiculturalism, writing nasty stories about celebrities or other undisclosed proscribed stories he will be sent for diversity re-education at the Harriet Harperson Centre for Freedom and Equality. If the journalist has implied in any way support for UKIP or for leaving the EU their children will be taken by the state to Rotherham for diversity re-education.

  10. 10
    David I'm-proud-of-my-CP-chums-in-Rotherham-and-I'm-looking-forward-to-my-EU-pension Scammeron says:

    Do you think this red rosette looks good with this suit ?

  11. 11
    A Shoe Salesman says:

    Would you like to buy a pair of ‘mission creepers’?

  12. 12
    Joyce Thicker says:

    Henceforth we will only allow muslim families to foster children. English people should be deported.

  13. 13
    A Spokesman says:

    Can anyone remember the last time they saw David Cameron on a bicycle?

  14. 14
    Joyce Thicker says:

    Children need to learn enriching values like child marriage, female genital mutilation and suicide bombing.

  15. 15
    Julia Middleton says:

    I asked my boyfriend why he ejaculated in my face. He said “I thought you wanted me to come on purpose”.

  16. 16
    This comment sponsored by a brown envelope. says:

    Using a photograph for most of the “drawing” helps. Hides the incapability of the “artist”. Ought to go fully Private Eye-style.

  17. 17
    Tachybaptus says:

    Not since 2010, I think. But even before that, it was probably largely a put-up job to give voters an impression of him being young, fit and unpretentious. This picture from 2010 shows him signalling that he is about to turn left, probably his last truthful action on record:

    http://tinyurl.com/d3b9nyy

  18. 18
    Tachybaptus says:

    Be careful what you wish for. Imagine what would be in the speech balloons.

  19. 19
    Polly Pot says:

    Who ordered the six bacon butties..Was it you, luv?

  20. 20
    Andrew Castle says:

    You must have whip lash injuries Prime Minister even if you don’t know it. Our team of lawyers can recover damages from the Leveson inquiry and it won’t cost you a penny.

  21. 21
    CarryHole is a Total Hunt says:

    I cycle a lot, he doesn’t look like a cyclist.

  22. 22
    CarryHole is a Total Hunt says:

    How about wearing a sack outside the home?

  23. 23
    Kebab Time says:

    whey hey – up up and away – there she blows
    :)

  24. 24
    Kebab Time says:

    its been a long night

  25. 25
    LORD WAYNE OF BANANA says:

    It is simply nonsense to claim that the verb to hodge will enter common parlance

    hodge, verb intran.
    to limit exposure to Corporation Tax and imply it is not ones own doing

  26. 26
    not a machine reloaded says:

    How can Ed Milliband issue words to tell PM he should get on with levenson recommendations , when report hasnt been issued ??
    or his just projecting himself onto thursday hoping for to catch/make a favourable wind ….

    EU has meeting on Greece ……and er Cyprus ?

  27. 27
    Rupert my Hero says:

    LOL = Loads of Legislation.

  28. 28
    rocknrolla says:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2238372/Disgraced-MP-Margaret-Moran-spotted-pub–despite-ill-stand-trial-fraud.html

    Come on Guido, let’s not let her get away with it. I work all day long every day and usually Saturdays. How the Hell has she escaped jail by simply saying she is sad then a few days later is seen going to the pub without the special just for court-day haggard appearance she had before?

    SHE MUST NOT GET AWAY WITH IT.

  29. 29
  30. 30
    Rupert my Hero says:

    Sheep Shearers Weekly Annual Quarterly, criticised by Labour Zealot for Pictures of NUDE Sheep. A Party thing, said ” this exceeds the bounds of correctness”, we will be setting up a Committee to monitor this disturbing slew of filth.

  31. 31
  32. 32
    How quickly they forget says:

    How quickly you forget the 13 years of terror imposed on us by Labour.

    How quick to criticize.

    Why the feck do you think we’re in the mess? Come on you Labour trolls – let’s have YOUR solutions to the problems YOU created.

    Utter b..a..r..s..t..a..r..d..s.

  33. 33
    Julia Middleton says:

    You forgot the Common Purpose representative you ignerant fool!

  34. 34
    common purpose exposed says:

    Of course all of those chosen to regulate the free press will be chosen in secret and they must all have graduated from a common purpose political indoctrination course that is fast becoming the only way of securing promotion to the highest paid jobs in the establishment. The new glass ceiling has arrived folks, the new kommissar class of the new order have their own key to success, only common purpose graduates need apply.

  35. 35
    Ed in Borough. says:

    Wow what a transformation from her appearance in court. I’m so pleased that that she has made a 100% recovery.

    I feel sorry for the dog though.

  36. 36
    Tom Watson MP says:

    I shall make a statement in the House about this shortly

  37. 37
    Ayatollah Galloway, Supreme Leader of Bradford's Vibrant and Diverse Muslim Population says:

    Just you wait until I’m prime minister!

  38. 38
    Thomas What Son? says:

    Or web Cameron from his kitchen?

  39. 39
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Anyone still think Margaret Moron wasn’t faking it?

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2238372/Disgraced-MP-Margaret-Moran-spotted-pub–despite-ill-stand-trial-fraud.html

    Lock her up!!

  40. 40
    Barry says:

    Only if I get a free pen, for which I have an immediate destination in mind.

  41. 41
    Barry says:

    Trick or treat, anyone?

  42. 42
    larry of Downing Street says:

    What is an own goal?

  43. 43
    Backwoodsman says:

    Way to deal with common purpose :
    1) Govt declares a 24 hour amnesty for all common purpose graduates to come forward to their (inevitably public sector )employer and addmit membership.
    2) common purpose graduate re-imburses employer with cost of c-p course from own pocket.
    3) common purpose graduate signs undertaking not to engage in any further anti-democratic activities . Accepts that this is a dismissable offense , without compensation.
    4) It becomes an offense for any common purpose graduate to fail to declare the fact prominently on their cv.
    5) any common purpose graduate not handing themselves in during the 24 hour amnesty period, is deemed to have constructively dismissed themselves without compensation.

  44. 44
    Common Porpoise says:

    Feck off you twat. Where’s the bleedin’ fish gone? Arrishole.

  45. 45
    Tup says:

    Ewes Of The World.

  46. 46
    lord Justice Brian says:

    Jobs for the boys for decades to come.

  47. 47
    Jimmy Savile says:

    Monty Panesar is the first English spinner to take 10 wickets in a match in India since Hedley Verity in 1934

  48. 48
    The Wicked Witch of the North says:

    their children will be taken by the state to Rotherham for diversity re-education.

    I’ve heard it called a lot of things before but not ‘diversity re-education’.

  49. 49
    The Wicked Witch of the North says:

    You think David Cameron and Boris Johnson will hand themselves in?

  50. 50
    Here is a stupid moniker to defeat the modbot and an intelligent comment says:

    Why not gag the press?

    The monikers on this libertarian blog get deleted…

  51. 51
    jaded jean says:

    Cameron playing the race card has really upset Farage…

    What with that and Boris’ u-turn on an ‘in-out’ referendum…it really does look like ‘a war’ now!

    Looks like Boris is now back with the L i ber tarian programme re Europe.

  52. 52
    LibLabCon-trick says:

    A classic own goal is when DC plays the race card to try and discredit UKIP.

    The man’s a walking PR disaster.

    Vote UKIP…you know it makes sense.

  53. 53
    UKIP.i.am.still says:

    Lord Leveson to advise setting up a quango to deal with any press violations such as any criticism of public sector officials, the BBC, the Labour party, etc.

  54. 54
    UKIP.i.am.still says:

    All this good publicity that these Common Purpose bigots is giving UKIP is warmly welcomed. How can anybody NOT vote UKIP when even the dimmest can now see the way the future is shaping up?

  55. 55
    A Pleb with no job and loads of student debt says:

    I trust any new appointees will be honorary ones .

  56. 56
    LibLabCon-trick says:

    The news-print press’ days are numbered and Leveson’s report (due out on Thursday) will become irrelevant as more an more people use the internet for their news source.

    Having servers based in Ireland takes them out of the jurisdiction of the UK courts.

    However, a federal EU with an homogeneous legal system really would provide jobs for the boys for decades to come.

  57. 57
    Sir William Waad says:

    Who’s it supposed to be?

  58. 58
    E.W. Swanton deceased says:

    The fact that this Test Match against Johnny Walla was won within 4 days just shows how piss poor the performance in the First Test was .

  59. 59
    Do Nowt DAVE The Downing street Doormouse says:

    I will promise a referendum then not give them one , they fell for it last time so the thick plebs will fall for it again

    More Power to my father in law that’s what i say !

    Toodle Pip !

  60. 60
    XXXxx says:

    Has Eric Pickles surfaced?

  61. 61
    Widescreen2010 says:

    Is it The Bible?

  62. 62
    Do Nowt DAVE The Downing street Doormouse says:

    I will do what it takes to stop the gutter press printing my intimate Emails to Rebekah

    Poodle Tit’s

  63. 63
    Anonymous says:

    Only those with something to hide want to muzzle the press.
    The whole Leveson inquiry was a total farce.

  64. 64
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    This really is good. Less drawing and more photomontage boys.

  65. 65
    Liarpoliticians says:

    LOL.. Leveson’s Orgasmic Luvvies

  66. 66
    Liarpoliticians says:

    LOL… Leveson’s Original Lexicon

  67. 67
    Stalin's Ghost says:

    They are simply copying my transcripts. They have to look to me and my old mate Lenin for such inspiration as the UK education system does not allow for real intellectual giants like me to be developed.
    Luckily Lenin died before I had a chance to kill him, but Trotsky not so lucky, but he still has too many followers in the Labour Party and I will need to reach them from the grave.

  68. 68
    Red Ed Millibandwagon says:

    I am so happy that one of our comrades is making a successful recovery after such a traumatic experience, and I wish her well for the future.
    To further help her we may be able to find her a future in Rotherham the way things are going.

  69. 69
    Stalin's Ghost says:

    Yes, my version of it.

  70. 70
    Robert Mugabe - King of Africa says:

    And mine

  71. 71
    Mao says:

    Green version of my Red book

  72. 72
    Leveson the Grand Inquisitor says:

    Who cares I will be far away in Australia when the s**t hits the fan.

  73. 73
    Slippyplick says:

    The transitive already exists: to dodge.

  74. 74
    Slippyplick says:

    But he doesn’t need any reminder about free speech, you know. He REALLY doesn’t. Unquote.

  75. 75
    Slippyplick says:

    As a flood defence barrier?

  76. 76
    Slippyplick says:

    ..startin wiv proppa spelin.

  77. 77
    Slippyplick says:

    Are they similar to the brothel creepers worn by certain cigar smoking building burger members?

  78. 78
    Slippyplick says:

    They have already told us – borrow and spend, borrow and spend … ad infinitum.

  79. 79
    Slippyplick says:

    What a good idea! When does the next plane to Australia leave?

  80. 80
    Slippyplick says:

    Sky news had one of them on yesterday. If she had been wearing sunglasses it would have been a complete bl*ackout.

  81. 81
    Slippyplick says:

    Lambent humour?

  82. 82
    Slippyplick says:

    It should be spelled “own gaol” – and lots of ordinary folk wish you and all the shysters in Parliament were securely locked up in it and on a diet of stale bread and water.

  83. 83
    Slippyplick says:

    Like your knickers, they should be changed daily.

  84. 84
    Slippyplick says:

    It will be known as Pressoff (at least I think that’s what he said).

  85. 85
    Slippyplick says:

    Wasn’t it Gaddafi who had the Green Book of sayings?

  86. 86
    Slippyplick says:

    Did Theresa deport you as an undesirable?

  87. 87
    A Fat Copper that struggles to run after Skinny Kiddies says:

    …and furthermore, I have heard the masons is full of security guards these days, which is putting me off. Can’t be mixing with them types, off duty,


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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


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