November 23rd, 2012

Friday Caption Contest (Naked Man in Whitehall Edition)


  1. 1

    Charlie Gilmour’s stunt for the Pink Floyd comeback tour was perhaps a little ill-advised

  2. 2
    Chad says:

    It’s shrinking a lot faster than the deficit

  3. 3
    Mike Litorus says:

    But I can see samcams bedroom from here!

  4. 4
    TONY says:

    The new expenses rules have really hit some MPs hard

  5. 5
    Timmy Tour says:

    “And I’m not coming down until you admit that I did NOT call you a pleb”

  6. 6
    PBd says:

    Oi..! Dickhead…

  7. 7
    The Fallen Angel says:

    “Everybody go surfing….surfing Whitehall way!!!”

  8. 8
    John H says:

    Balls to democracy.

  9. 9
    Welshracer says:

    The Naked Civil Servant

  10. 10
    Archbishop Chris Eubank says:

    Owen Jones the day after being found fit to work by ATOS

  11. 11

    david blaine gone to far this time
    unless he protesting about governments

  12. 12
    Kebab Time says:

    “Gordon finally makes it to London”

  13. 13
    Steve Miliband says:

    Shit Friday caption competition saved by free wheeling Mr C

  14. 14
    Butch Dave says:

    the good new keeps coming! naked men!

  15. 15
    ASOS says:

    ASOS will stop at nothing to prove the workshy are fit enough to work

  16. 16
    ScottishCalvin says:

    Fathers For Justice campaigner mistakenly chooses Invisible Man costume

  17. 17
    Trinny says:

    Look at the size of that head!

    (it’s big enough to stand on)

  18. 18
    mouthy runt says:

    A plum job in Westminster

  19. 19
    Steve Miliband says:

    Erection has a prick

  20. 20
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Gordon Brown makes long-awaited return to Westminster

  21. 21
    easy mistake says:

    o/t but I see Bercow has just called ‘a young man’ to speak in the Youth Parliament debate….
    unfortunately the young man is a young woman.

  22. 22
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Nice Tory totty on BBC 2 with Andrew Neil. Note to BBC we need more of her and less of the boot faced hags from the Labour party please.

  23. 23
    Naked man on statue says:

    could you pixellate my cock pls?

  24. 24
    Ghost of Greg Stone. says:

    Naked ambition in Westminster on display.


    Horsing around.


    Barely visible.

  25. 25
    Naked man on statue says:

    still got my iphone with your excellent App on it!

  26. 26
    Angus Tickler says:

    Chris Bryant MP tries a more flamboyant self-shot.

  27. 27
    Plato says:

    if Chris slips he’ll have a big, stiff head up his arse

    not for the first time…

  28. 28

    Flashback to his schooldays, as DC left out in the cold by EU bullies.

  29. 29

    It had better be for a very big bet.

  30. 30
    Plato says:

    At what point did he take his clothes off?

  31. 31
    lost tourist says:

    Is that Nelson’s column?

  32. 32
    I Squiggle says:

    Mr Cameron, so the EU have taken more than the shirt off your back, but lets keep things in proportion eh?

  33. 33
    Margret Moron says... says:

    Wibble, wibble…

  34. 34
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Just when we thought there wasn’t room for another dick in Whitehall……………

  35. 35
    Steve Miliband says:

    Nadine happy not to be part of latest Bush Tucker trial

  36. 36
    Operation Crossbow says:


  37. 37
    medici2471 says:

    ‘Oh no, I think he’s about to toss himself off’

  38. 38
    I Squiggle says:

    “Oh dear God, Sam, George has been at the waccy baccy again..”

  39. 39
    BloJo says:

    He’s on my statue

    How dare he…

  40. 40
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    What a silly little willie :)

  41. 41
    Roundell says:

    Police Officer “No Mr Paxman you may not do Newsnight interviews from there – Health and Safety!”

  42. 42
    Jack says:

    Nads is back…

  43. 43
    Kebab duty pedant says:

    It’s Atos

  44. 44
    Anonymous says:

    What a knob.

  45. 45
    Dennis MacShame says:

    I protest

  46. 46
    Everybody says:

    Stay there, for all we care…

  47. 47
    FarmerGiles says:

    Owen riding high after being a cheeky boy last night trying to be rude to adults.

  48. 48
    Kebab joke factory says:

    Acertain Lord has sued him for more than the shirt on his back…

  49. 49
    cheche says:

    Do come down Mr Brown

  50. 50
    Jimmy says:

    Foreign Sec claims disciplinary procedure for Spads “within the rules”

  51. 51
    Jack says:

    It’s Y Fronts seeking friends

  52. 52
    Kebab joke factory says:

  53. 53
    lost tourist says:

    haha, even though my contributions are in the mix, i prefer this one

  54. 54
    Lord Mandelson of Efficks says:

    He’s one of us

  55. 55
    Last Governor of the BBC says:

    It’s Paxo

  56. 56
    Andy says:

    David Blaine’s latest stunt fails to impress Samantha Cameron.

  57. 57
    Bluto says:

    Can’t think of a caption but let’s hope they get the stupid tosser down with a fire hose.

  58. 58
    Rupert my Hero says:

    Angela is amazed at Dave’s reaction to not getting his own way.

  59. 59
    Man On Clapham Omnibus says:

    No that’s Prince George you’re standing on to show off your Prince Albert!

  60. 60
    Cock-Eyed Hick says:

    “Aimfor the feet, the helmet people, he might climb down then.”

    “Ya, but, sarge, which helmet be that then ya’ll? OOPS, got ‘im right in the shreddies sarge”.

  61. 61
    AS says:

    Leave Nick Clegg in the country for one day….

  62. 62
    AS says:

    Leave Nick Clegg in charge of the country for one day….

    (that should have said)

  63. 63
    Neilson Mandala says:

    George! GEORGE! stop messing around,Dave wants to see some growth…

  64. 64
    Kebab Time says:

    “John Bercow is left with nothing after Lord Macalpine sues Sally”

  65. 65
    Archbishop says:

    They have defrocked the Chief Whip

  66. 66
    ASOS says:

    Not if you want to buy some clothes

  67. 67
    Boris Head of Pop says:

    Sing with me

    To the tune of the Eton Boetang Song

    “We are all dicks, together”

  68. 68
    Chris Bryant says:

    I would like to sit on Nelsons column

  69. 69
    Smoke and Mirros says:

    It’s Empty Edd preparing for his next News Conference

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    Nothing to see here!

  71. 71
    Mandy ate my gerbil says:

    With or without your world famous Y Fronts please?

  72. 72
    Paxo says:

    He will be the next riveting subject of Newsnight

  73. 73
    Ex Chief Whippie says:

    What a pleb

  74. 74
    Man On Clapham Omnibus says:

    Ed Balls had a recurring nightmare that one day his lack of policy cover would expose him as he walked down Whitehall

  75. 75
    Spacker Brown says:

    “We not only saved the world …”

  76. 76
    Lord Carrington's binoculars says:

    You mean he’s got a hardon as well?


    I can’t see from where I am…

  77. 77
    Ed Balls ate my cat says:

    Man: “Coalition welfare reforms have taken the shirt of my back”

  78. 78
    Pinky News reporter says:

    Is he circumcised?

  79. 79
    smoggie says:

    But is Plod bright enough to realise this bloke’s not a suicide bomber ?

  80. 80
    Official Y Fronts spokesboy says:

    We will get your fucking blog closed down Mr Fawkes

    I have sent an official complaint to Lord Levinson

  81. 81
    Carter, Fuck, Shillings, Pence who run off with the cash says:

    We will help

  82. 82
    PC Dixon says:

    Move along, nothing to see here– more’s the pity for that mad bloke, there really IS nothing to see!

  83. 83
    Tony Blair, Silvio's house guest says:

    We will put a D Notice on this immoral person

    Clearly a threat to national security

  84. 84
    Corrie L'Anus says:

    “Not often one see’s a bobby’s helmet on the streets of London these days Marjorie…”

  85. 85
    Hansard reporter says:

    But it the Squeaker trying to attract attention again

  86. 86
    dunstall says:

    It has always been my opinion that whitehall talks a load of bollocks

  87. 87
    Slimy Chuck-a-Butty says:


  88. 88
    Nurse Florence says:

    It’s bedtime, Gordon

    Time to come down

  89. 89
    Meedia Gweedo says:

    Nelson’s not doing a column anymore. Strictly blogging from here on out.
    Do keep up.

  90. 90
    dunstall says:

    i demand a judge led inquiry or is that a load of bollocks?

  91. 91
    Deep Froat says:

    Ditto – let him wither…

  92. 92
    Steve Miliband says:

    Rounheads v Cavaliers

  93. 93
    A Cambridge History Student says:

    What do you mean this isn’t the Cenotaph?

  94. 94
    Elmo says:

    I was about to mention her.

    Emma McClarkin, phwoar !

    Well done Brillo !

  95. 95
    maid marian says:

    Gordon Brown refuses to leave Whitehall after meeting with Dave!

  96. 96
    It's true I tell ya says:

    The man in Whitehall knows no vest

  97. 97

    Mr Entwistle, it’s too late to cultivate a higher profile now.

  98. 98
    Man On Clapham Omnibus says:

    Yvette told me I had to stay here until something came up in Whitehall

  99. 99
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Guerrilla-political-theatre activist I. M. Loon, making his point that politicians consider us all to be “pigeons,” to be easily “gulled.”

  100. 100
    Elmo says:

    Naked man bouncing on top of Duke of Cambridge shock !

  101. 101
    concrete cunt says:

    His Lordship told me that I must give him head

  102. 102
    Aled Balloon says:

    The right to bare arms – bare legs, bare bum etc.

  103. 103

    Former blogger and LBC presenter Iain Dale finally makes good on his election pledge.

    “I’ll run naked down Whitehall if that turns out to be true.”

  104. 104

    I know our customs may seem strange, Tony, but as Chairman of the BBC Trust I have to be absolutely certain that the new DG can stand up to pubic sorry public scrotum sorry scrutiny.

  105. 105
    spanows says:

    Ben Duckworth link not correct.

    Caption: This is what happens when you don’t believe in brains.

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    Bare back riding.

  107. 107
    Plato says:

    The cops are saying he’s got a knife??

    Yeah, and a f’ucking picnic hamper, as well.

  108. 108
    Obi Wan says:

    Mitchell shows how determined he is to cling onto Chief Whip post.

  109. 109
    A horse lover says:

    ‘Riding for the Disabled’

  110. 110
    Sir William W says:

    The campaign for a Nudists’ Memorial in Whitehall had barely begun.

  111. 111
    Any milk today? says:

    Willy or won’t he?

  112. 112
    Sir William W says:

    One day – Olympic diving star; next day – helpless loon.

  113. 113
    Tonto says:

    I’ve got Silver!!

  114. 114
    Observer says:

    After the undone shirt at the Lord Mayor’s Banquet, Dave suffers an even worse wardrobe malfunction.

  115. 115
    Man On Clapham Omnibus says:

    Mandelson always wanted to be the fairy at the top of the tree

  116. 116
    Archbishop Carey-Street says:

    I’m staying up here till you bring me a woman bishop to bash

  117. 117
    Helen says:

    He’s got a lot of balls!

  118. 118
    On Tenterhooks says:

    Who won last week’s Louise Mensch caption competition?! Or is Guido now adopting the Labour Party approach to school sports day – there are to be no winners?

  119. 119
    Jimmy says:


  120. 120
    A history scholar says:

    “A horse, a horse, my kinkdom for a horse”

  121. 121
    Anonymous says:

    “Ed, when we said you’d do better if you got Balls out, that’s not exactly what we had in mind”

  122. 122
    Nonny Mouse says:

    Ride a cock-horse….

  123. 123
    Ryan says:

    Headline from today’s torygraph

    ‘It is time for Cameron to stand up to Europe’

    Norman Tebbit: The Prime Minister deserves sympathy and support as he stands up to power-hungry Europe.

    you couldn’t make this up!

  124. 124

    That high up?
    Naked in London in late November?
    Say what you like, but he’s got some balls.

  125. 125
    Lard Pressclott says:

    Not no winners lad…yer was all tut winners under Labour!

  126. 126

    Hung like a horse- well, one of them is.

  127. 127
    (I've been renamed) DA-Notice says:

    Owen Jones on QT made me do it.

  128. 128
    Obi Wang says:

    Feels strong with this one.

  129. 129
    Blondini says:

    Spiderman timed his landing to perfection. However, he decided that next time he did the “fancy twirl around the flagpole and leap onto the statue” trick, he would first ensure that his suit wasn’t snagged on the flagpole.

  130. 130
    NYC stuff says:

    I was brought up in Whitehall,
    once upon a time.
    Then they moved us all along,
    to another pile.
    To another to live, replaced,
    where we all can have fun,
    kecks off totally, for no lie.

  131. 131
    Arfur Pint says:

    Waiting for Gordo (transferred from the Whitehall Theatre)

  132. 132
    Rat's arse says:

    Nice one Tony :)

  133. 133
    Rat's arse says:

    For once I agree with you Jimmy, but Tony’s good as well.

  134. 134
    Manuel from Barca says:

    ..from his prospective shrappers, yuk-yuk-yuk – he’ll be not having babbies now, and look at ‘im fall, Sarge. soooo-eee


  135. 135
    dunstall says:

    Are you a luvvie?

  136. 136
    keredybretsa says:

    ‘ He ain’t got the tits for page 3 as he?’

  137. 137
    Tom says:

    Don’t dare piss on my head and leave to the Westminster Pigeons

  138. 138
    Rat's arse says:

    Good ‘un too Medici. I really am spoilt for choice today.

  139. 139
    Kevin says:

    There was a young man in Whitehall
    Who stood naked and bare showing all
    When asked “Are you cold?”
    He replied “Yes, I’ve sold
    All my clothes to pay tax set by Balls”

  140. 140
    Moby Dick says:

    levison cheek

  141. 141
    Davo says:

    Third floor switchboard operator: “Whitehall 1 2 1 – What the fuck!?!?!?”
    Caller: “Oh, I’m sorry, I must have dialled the wrong number.”

  142. 142
    Poet Lorry Hat says:

    Doesn’t rhyme. Lines 1 & 2 end in “ll” and line 5 ends in “s”.


  143. 143
    Keith Dovkunts says:

    Chris Bryant MP: “I was always destined for high office . . .”

  144. 144
    Kevin says:

    Have you actually tried saying it out loud (assuming that’s not the only way you can read as a matter of course)?

  145. 145
    POG says:

    “Well, officer, I was at this swingers’ party in Surbiton and one of the women said “Let’s get pissed, strip naked and go to town”. And I guess I must be the first one to have arrived.”

  146. 146
    Keith Dovkunts says:

    “Feck it’s cold up here. My knob is as limp as that Union flag . . .”

  147. 147
    Poet Lorry Hat says:

    No. It would still be wrong for the reason already stated. Unless “Balls” has a silent “s”.


  148. 148
    Wallace and Vomit says:

    EU negotiator reveals the Emperor’s new clothes

  149. 149
    why have they not arrested Vaz says:

    I hope the Egyptians dont see what is going on .

  150. 150
    Universal Hiss says:

    Guido Fawkes in latest exposure stunt.

  151. 151
    Mad Frankie's Older Sister says:

    Ed Davey advertises his new Green Deal policies

  152. 152

    He’s more balanced than the BBC….

    He is doing very well up there thought isn’t he? I’m impressed.

  153. 153
    spanows says:

    The link in the post to Ben Duckworth doesn’t work. I posted the link and the picture link and the comment is moderated/deleted! If you had fixed the link (still wrong at 15:30 pm) I wouldn’t mind but this smacks of petty egoism and gives ammo to the many who are anti-Guido precisely because he doesn’t give enough hat-tips.

  154. 154

    Ed Milliband shouted: “Do you like my brand new clothes?”

  155. 155
    Patrick says:

    Keep moving, go back to your homes, there’s nothing to see.

  156. 156
    Refereedum says:

    Political one-upmanship stunt backfires spectacularly, as Ed Balls’ response to hearing that the Tories had their Nads out in the Australian jungle is described by one onlooker as “worthy of the sack”.

  157. 157
    Jobs for the boys yet again says:

    What a Cock !

  158. 158
    grotblik says:

    Balls deficit exposed.


    Not just the economy that’s shrinking say Balls.

  159. 159
    Discharged Seaman says:

    Oi! Bryant. You mind that horses arse.

  160. 160
    Peter Grant says:

    So this is what BBC Question Time do to hecklers on their show!

  161. 161
    taxi driver says:

    Care In The Community was a bloody bad idea.

  162. 162
    Silent Bob says:

  163. 163
    XXXxx says:

    Stop arsing about and come own!

  164. 164
    XXXxx says:

    8i££y you should have gone to SpecSavers?

  165. 165
    XXXxx says:

    For my next trick, I will dive into the pint pot full of Guiness

  166. 166
    XXXxx says:


  167. 167
    XXXxx says:

    Don’t know, ask 8i££y

  168. 168
    XXXxx says:


  169. 169
    XXXxx says:

    What do you mean, I am naked, I bought this suit from a geezer on the Peckham Road, he told me only a fool could not see the suit, I think he said his name was Derek, a little fella, well oiled hair.

  170. 170
    XXXxx says:

    Too late he slipped, nasty

  171. 171
    Pork chip says:

    “Every PM needs a Willy”

  172. 172
    XXXxx says:

    He might be a squaddy aclimatising himself to the cold, so when he is posted abroad in northern Canada

  173. 173
    XXXxx says:

    What happened to that running naked stunt Guido said he would do if he lost his bet?

  174. 174
    idonotbelieveit says:

    Now son, please come down from there, judging by the size of your trunk, you’re a minor. Please don’t make me call Inspector McAlpine

  175. 175
    Silly Old Man says:

    Sally finally talks John into doing a photo shoot for the Evening Standard

  176. 176
    Whitehall Copper says:

    No son, when Lord McAlpine says ‘head boy’ he means . . . .

  177. 177
    notakenin says:

    Loose the shirt off my back in those budget negotiations – dream on!

  178. 178
    Delphius1 says:

    Man in Westminster has delusions of being a pigeon….

  179. 179
    Statue nerd says:

    Naked man pictured cavorting with Duke of Cambridge

  180. 180
    BBC Disinfotainment Commissioning Team says:

    The Naked Rambler’s first use of a satnav for a ‘fastest route to Scotland’ didn’t work out well.

  181. 181
    T'Peer Lord Nelson says:

    No! No! It was me you were meant to mount.

Seen Elsewhere

Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood
We Must Not Call Charlie Hebdo Killers ‘terrorists’ | Telegraph
Tory MEP Promised Bashir Investigation | Scrapbook
Stop May Pact | Times
Wake Up Call For Capitalists | CapX
Guido’s Column | Sun
Dave Hoaxer High on Coke and Weed | Sun
Let’s Help the Kurds Fight | Boris
Split the Left | Tim Montgomerie
Liz Kendall For Leader | Indy

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers