November 22nd, 2012

Nadine Evicted

It was all going so well for Nads, but last night she faced the public vote and was evicted from the jungle:

“I don’t know what people have seen but I have had some fascinating conversations in there. It’s been a fascinating experience. I think it is important that MPs realise that you need to go where the public go. More people vote on X Factor and I’m A Celebrity than they do in the general elections. MPs need to go where people vote.”

She is giving interviews attacking Andrew Mitchell, the former Chief Whip, for saying he didn’t give permission for her to go away for month:

“I find it quite disappointing now that the spotlight has come on to this, that he has chosen, and particularly after all the support I gave him during his own troubles recently, that he has tried to be clever with words, and say that he didn’t give me permission for the show. No he didn’t give me permission for the show, but he did give me permission to have the month away. It epitomises politicians.”

Stay tuned…


249 Comments

  1. 1
    Road_Hog says:

    So, will she be reinstated or is Dave going to make a stand on this one.

  2. 2
    David Cameron says:

    I’ve never heard of her. Is she on telly?

  3. 3
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    It’s not about the money then.

  4. 4
    New World Order Announces says:

    Oborne writes:

    I am also pretty certain that British withdrawal from Europe would estrange us from the United States, which has been so keen on British membership that the CIA secretly funded the 1975 referendum campaign. Is this what the British people really want? Forget what the polls say. If there was a referendum on British membership of the European Union tomorrow, the pro-Europeans would win handsomely.

    Someone should ask Cameron what organisations the CIA and KGB are currently funding!

  5. 5
    UKIP.i.am.still says:

    Given that she has been away from the commons for a whole four days longer than everybody else except for Gordon Brown, who has been absent for at least two years, one wonders why Ed Millionaireband hasn’t withdrawn the whip from him.

  6. 6
    Dan says:

    She’ll remain an independent until the next election.

  7. 7
    going down the pan says:

    why have i had to re register ?

  8. 8
    ITV says:

    She’s been on Telly this morning telling Scotch Lorraine that Andrew Mitchell
    did give her permission to go away for a month.

  9. 9
    yalleriron says:

    I hope that they put her into quarantine for a month or six, as her behaviour would suggest that she has contracted some ailment which has unhinged her.

    We wouldn’t want it to become an epidemic among female MPs, especially Tory; and so far we’ve been fortunate that the victims so far have been Dorries, Mensch and that Moran person (although I think the latter might be faking it and “swinging the lead”).

  10. 10
    THE REGISTRAR says:

    I don’t know, why have you had to re register? And what have you had to re register for?

  11. 11
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    “Someone should ask Cameron what organisations the CIA and KGB are currently funding!”

    My money is on green.

  12. 12
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    The Telegraph reports that George Osborne wants MORE big banks:

    The Chancellor warned that “aggressively” breaking up banks would do little to benefit the UK and insisted the Government’s plans to put in place a so-called “ring fence” to force banks to isolate their riskier, investment banking businesses from their retail arm was the right way to make the financial system safer.

    “If we aggressively broke up all of our big banks, I am not sure that, as a society, we would benefit from it,” he said. “We don’t have a huge number of banks, sadly, large banks. I would like to see more.”

    Yeah George, what we REALLY need are more banks that are too big to fail, and expose high street banking to activities of reckless investment banking. The taxpayer will always bail them out when it goes wrong, won’t they?

    Looks like you are in the bankers pocket (surprise, surprise!) just like Boris, Brown,…. etc.

    Corrupt fucking bastards.

  13. 13
    UKIP.i.am.still says:

    The Americans may have been for the UK being in the EU in 1975 (e.g. because of the cold war) but that doesn’t mean they do now.

  14. 14
    Franz Kafka says:

    We can’t tell you that.

  15. 15
    Administrative help desk says:

    Fuck off.

  16. 16
    Lurcio says:

    Because Brown is engaged upon worthy good works, for many pieces of aureus, whilst Dorries is just pandering to the masses and getting a few sestertii for it.

    As one of the plebs, I like my bread and circuses, and Nadine is just the person to supply them. So it’s a “thumbs-up” for Nads from me.

  17. 17
    Dithering Dave's spineless party says:

    We have a totally useless border agency who have no idea how many immigrants they have let in to the U K ,and are about to issue an amnesty
    So what does Dave do ?
    He rushes through legislation so that his toff Eaton friends can marry each other
    Getting priorities right , that’s what Dave does !

  18. 18
    Administrative help desk says:

    It’s a disease called publicitis.

  19. 19
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Who wrote that godawful and obvious defensive apologia of a quote for her – Max Clifford? And if she was doing it in her role as an MP should she not hand the fee over to the House?

  20. 20
    Anonymous says:

    £40000 for a few weeks work in the jungle and £800,000 for a dislocated finger and a bruised elbow welcome to the planet Uk money for nothing.

  21. 21
    Quiet Bat Person says:

    Does the KGB still exist?

    The CIA are probably funding their invention ‘Al Quaida’.

  22. 22
    A Pleb says:

    I think she looked quite fit for an old broad,I would.

  23. 23
    Fog on the Tyne says:

    Amazing that people vote for these self-regarding braindead fuckers and then pay hundreds of thousands so they can piss around Westminster for five years.

  24. 24
    Cameron has left the Country says:

    Gay Dave has gone abroad to Europe today. Wish the twat would stay there

  25. 25
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    “it is not necessary to accept everything as true, one must only accept it as necessary.’ ‘A melancholy conclusion,’ said K. ‘It turns lying into a universal principle.”

  26. 26
    Steve Miliband says:

    If she stays until the end of the show, staying in the six star Chav Hotel then she will be toast. If she’s on the next flight home she will be ok.

  27. 27
    Hard Man Dave says:

    I’m on the case. Wibble wobble.Chillax.

  28. 28
    JR Hartley says:

    She has a pert bottom.

  29. 29
    Two Nice Boys says:

    Ooooh get you! We think lovely Dave is doing a wonderful job.

  30. 30
    Gordon Brown says:

    What about Alky Ada?

  31. 31
    Gordon Brown says:

    The woman’s a disgrace. Taking time off work and moonlighting abroad earning thousands.

  32. 32
    TV waster says:

    It did’nt work for Nadine. Seeing the bossy, blow hard telling other people what to do despite having no idea herself will not help her win friends with the British public who have to deal with these types all the time and know full well how to. She probably thought her personality would carry her but it did not come through or it just was too hard in a group with other strong characters who like the audience did not know anything about politics. Brave attempt and she was slightly set up in the end as most of the other weak characters won immunity but doubt she would have lasted longer then a couple more days anyway.

  33. 33
    Sarah Beard says:

    My hero!

  34. 34
    graham smith says:

    Nadine Dorries A conservative who gets loads of votes but isnt liked ?? Similar to that johnson boy from the olympics

  35. 35
    I was Mandy's gerbil says:

    She keeps saying she was given permission to have time off by Mitchell.

    Surely her constituents are her boss not Mitchell.

  36. 36
    Dithering Dave's spineless party says:

    After three weeks of eating animals cocks
    she can’t wait to eat a real one !

  37. 37
    Puppy Love says:

    So. The official party line is that it is wrong to object to homosexual marriage because the homos love each other and that is a good thing. I happen to love my dog.

  38. 38
    Nurse Botha says:

    My patient

  39. 39
    The times they are a changing says:

    The country is falling apart, we have another loony gang of inept idiots in charge, with a PM who is even worse than the the last invisible incumbent and all we are concerned about is some mad woman MP, who took extra time off from her “profession” , time that we the taxpayer are expected to pay, she shouldn’t be paid for time off and HMRC should make sure they get a slice of the money she’s made, were either equal in law or some are above the law.

  40. 40
    Selohesra says:

    You mean they weren’t real?

  41. 41
    She is not a Cabinet Minister and does not need to speak to the Nation. says:

    Nads your duty is to your constituency NOT the rest of the Country FFS !

  42. 42
    Professor Popkiss says:

    Mmm. When people are losing their jobs or finding it difficult to make ends meet, along comes an MP who can make forty grand for a couple of weeks’ work whilst moonlighting from her job.

    All in it together I don’t think so.

  43. 43
    Steve Miliband says:

    Eaton?

  44. 44
    I was Mandy's gerbil says:

    You getting wed then?

  45. 45
    A Pleb says:

    Is that Inglish Andrew MitchelL ?

  46. 46
    Dithering Dave's spineless party says:

    Lets not forget Zooney AKA David Milliband , who swans around the world on the speaking circuit filling his bank account , while still being paid by us !

  47. 47
    UKIP.i.am.still says:

    That Tony Blair left office to do good works like finding peace in Palestine (while simultaneously making himself a tax dodging multimillionaire).

    How did that work out?

  48. 48
    The EUSSR is a criminal organisation says:

    “If there was a referendum on British membership of the European Union tomorrow, the pro-Europeans would win handsomely.”

    Fair comment, lets put it to the test then.

  49. 49
    Mr Ahmadinejad says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  50. 50
    AB Normal says:

    In spite of everything, I actually quite like her. Speaks her mind, has had a job other than politics, sticks to her principles, refuses to be lobby fodder and is not afraid to criticise her leadership – albeit very rudely. A few more in the same vein and the public might actually start to identify with their elected representatives.

  51. 51
    Narcissus says:

    I love myself – can I get married?

  52. 52
    Asking the questions that dare not speak their name says:

    Why do Wimin MPs leave a trail of devastation in their wake ?

  53. 53
    Someone in Suffolk says:

    “it is important that MPs realise that you need to go where the public go

    Yeah, I was in the Australian outback (or wherever the show comes from) just yesterday. I’m there most days, actually. Munching away on baked spiders and shit. All my friends do it.

  54. 54
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Nadine in the outback isn’t as politically significant as Cast Iron Dave going to Brussels to piss more money against the wall.

  55. 55
    illogical says:

    Never watched I’m a Celebrity.
    Kim Kardigan and family.
    The Max Factor.
    Britons got talens
    Opera Winfry.
    Am I missing anything important?

  56. 56
    National Socialist says:

    I tend to agree. Not a sycophantic twat like the oily Fallon for example.

  57. 57
    Tom Watson MP says:

    I might make a statement in the House about this later today

  58. 58
    Andrew Mitchell says:

    Nadine Dorries is a fucking Pleb.

  59. 59
    Alexsandr says:

    forget the banks. lets get peer to peerl lending mainstream. Funding circle and zopa.

  60. 60
    Ex Chief Whippie says:

    I speaked with forked tongue

    Like I did to the police

    It is in my upper class genes

  61. 61
    Drop a Daisy cutter on ITV says:

    This is the utter shite put out by ITV.

    And people complain about the BBC.

  62. 62
    Anonymous says:

    The Mail has repeatedly highlighted how a huge number of the applications were being rubber-stamped. Mr Vine’s report puts a final figure on the number officially given asylum under this amnesty – an astonishing 172,000.

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2236542/A-shambles-The-truth-leaky-borders–Lack-checks-let-thousands-illegal-immigrants-stay-Britain.html#ixzz2CwOtAitB
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

  63. 63
    Drop a Daisy cutter on ITV says:

    He said she could have the time off.

    She didn’t say where she was going.

    Jog on.

  64. 64
    Dithering Dave's spineless party says:

    If he is so confident that the pro’s would win a referendum , he needs to persuade Dave , he has nothing to worry about by holding one A S A P
    They really are out of touch ! The pro’s would be lucky to get 40%

  65. 65
    Looking for attention says:

    Yeah sure Nadine, our Nation faces its biggest economic challenge in decades and the answer is for our elected representatives to go on telly and be seen eating Camel Toe and Kangaroo bollox. Right enough…Doctor !!!!

  66. 66
    Ed says:

    Fallon from the Archers? She got laid last night.

  67. 67
    Looking for attention says:

    She has a point, I for one have never seen my local MP in my local Camel Toe restaurant.

  68. 68
    Angeladolf Merkelhitler, Fuehrerin der 4th Reich, says:

    Nein! I vill scream at der Britischerdumpkopf as loudly as mein Grandfather in der SS, und zen I vill send him back to your shitty England.

    Heil Me!

    PS: send me money.

  69. 69
    ah! monika says:

    just a lower case i will do the trick.

  70. 70
    Observer says:

    Still pissed on Tennets

  71. 71
    The Daily Mail says:

    To be fair they are keeping us in business.

  72. 72
    Dithering Dave's spineless party says:

    That should read “Eat cne”

  73. 73
    UKIP.i.am.still says:

    Yes thanks. Full English.

  74. 74
    XXXxx says:

    Mitchell, that is a scottish surname isn’t it

  75. 75
    UKIP.i.am.still says:

    Which charity is she giving the money to?

  76. 76
    ah! monika says:

    Is that you in disguise Bob?

  77. 77
    Sres says:

    Go where the public go?

    I don’t know about you, but I haven’t spent a month in a jungle, in Australia, outside a luxury hotel with a bunch of Z-List celebrities recently… Anyone else?

  78. 78
    Need I say more? says:

    Eastenders. Four times a week. Plus the omnibus.

  79. 79
    Dithering Dave's spineless party says:

    Shitty it might be , but try as you might
    you’ll still never get your fuckin hands on it
    The muslims will make sure of that

  80. 80
    Saint Tony Blair says:

    I brought peace to Palestine.

  81. 81
    Mr Pampers says:

    My best customer

  82. 82
    Someone in Suffolk says:

    Yeah, all the time. Everyone does.

    Surely?

  83. 83
    UKIP.i.am.still says:

    If Mitchell says he didnt gave her time off work then what are the odds he did?

  84. 84
    extra part says:

    Yes, but do they actually have to pay to receive ITV?

  85. 85
    A Pleb says:

    Why all this fuss about her having a few days off.McMental has had a couple years off and no one says a word,now he really is taking the piss.

  86. 86
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Pissing it against the wall would be an improvement on putting it in the pockets of assorted traitors and thieving hypocritical socialist scumbags

  87. 87
    XXXxx says:

    Or even, the the computer says no!

  88. 88
    UKIP.i.am.still says:

    Is there any back-bench Tory (or Lib dem) MP who cares about defying the party whip any more?

  89. 89
    extra part says:

    Tom, you would be doing us all a great favour if you were to buzz off and be Growdown Bruin’s bag carrier again for the next 3 years or so.

  90. 90
    HM Her Majesty says:

    The Home Office is a sham as well as a shambles. Still not fit for purpose. Teresa May should resign.

  91. 91
    Anonymous says:

    ” If there was a referendum on British membership of the European Union tomorrow, the pro-Europeans would win handsomely.”

    If they genuinely believed that they’d offer an in/out faster than you could blink.

  92. 92
    NGO. says:

    Why give money to a charity? It only gets wasted on admin, expenses, satellite phones,Land Cruisers, 5 star hotels, bribes, business class travel and excessive wage bills.

  93. 93
    XXXxx says:

    For the same reason wimin behave like wimin

  94. 94
    Admed in Munichistan says:

    We’re taking over Germany as well.

  95. 95
    Mr Pampers says:

    Do you give it a bone ?

  96. 96
    HM Her Majesty says:

    The British public want British politicians to start behaving like British citizens. Is that too much to ask?

  97. 97
    Anonymous says:

    cos they’re useless

    just like those church women

  98. 98
    Eric Pickles says:

    So did I, but I thought that three more rashers and a six sausages would look better no the plate and added and extra order of bubble, a few mushrooms, four extra rounds of toast. And some chips. That should see me through till elevenses.

  99. 99
    XXXxx says:

    There was something on the radio this morning regarding city traders and their addiction to gambling, taking payday loans to fuel their addiction, they cannot resist the chance to win lots of wonga

  100. 100
    Mr Pampers (i bought the company at the bottom of the market says:

    Me neither Utter bollocks all of it
    made for very sad people who have no life of their own

  101. 101
    Britain out of EU, East Europeans out of Britain says:

    apparently

  102. 102
    Tom Catesby says:

    ‘Nadine evicted’. Another bi-election too, possibly?

  103. 103
    Big Ears says:

    The Archers is no better

  104. 104
    Andrew Mitchell V.I.P. says:

    I did not use those words to that woman.

  105. 105
    Anonymous says:

    He did not specify who was voting. EU?

  106. 106
    New Chief Whip 15th Baronet of Eton Boating Song fame says:

    I am entirely relaxed about our Nads

    We are a dying party so we need all our Mps to appear to be serious

    If not, we will look like the out of touch and incompetent toffs that we are

  107. 107
    XXXxx says:

    When one is in a safe seat, one can within reason raise two fingers up to decriers, get over it!

  108. 108
    Mayan man says:

    Ah but the world will end in 30 days so who gives a fuck?

  109. 109
    Anonymous says:

    No chance of her getting this avian pox – it only affects great tits.

  110. 110
    Tom Catesby says:

    Clearly, masses of the masses love to be spoonfed shite, Just look at the Gov’t they’ve got. At least on ITV those of us who don’t like it, don’t have to pay via a tax, a.k.a. a TV licence.

  111. 111
    Mr Ahmadinejad says:

    We removed Mubarak, Gaddafi, Ben Ali & now removing David Cameron.That should raise our standards as Arabs for what we can call “victory”.

  112. 112
    Sick of the greed and lies(still) says:

    Would it be too much to expect Politicians to do their own thing during the long Parliment recesses? That way they would be doing the job they get paid for during work time.

  113. 113
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    Brown? Good works? Do you mean the UN press conference where less than 5 people attended, so he cancelled?

    What a flocking waste of money !

  114. 114
    Cyril Smith says:

    You fat get. Ive eaten a schoolboy this morning

  115. 115
    Taxfodder says:

    Andy Mitchell who nobody beilieves anymore or Nads who knows a bunch of tory tossers when she sees them, and is not afraid to say so…

    Party animals or party poopers the choice is there if you want it…

    Frankly I would not bother either way.

  116. 116
    XXXxx says:

    It is what is known as safe seat syndrome, the voters vote for the party NOT the person

  117. 117
    Doesn't take long for the bigots to appear says:

    What, as in Warren Mitchell ?

  118. 118
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    Must have worked ‘cos St Tone has blessed them with a ceasefire, at least that is what his wife’s autobiography will say :)

  119. 119
    XXXxx says:

    Does Mad Mitch tell porkies, that is the question you have to ask, he cannot control his temper

  120. 120
    Benny says:

    He’s a good Kafflick.
    Never mind the 100,00 or so Iraqis that died because of his lies.
    I’m fast traking him through the Pearly Gates.
    P.S. You said the cheque’s in the post Tone, but no sign of it yet.

  121. 121
    Anonymous says:

    When the “painted white landrovers” arrive then they know they are doomed.

    First come the coffee shops, then the encampments and then the hand-outs.

    There is no way back to the land. They are captives of the charities.

  122. 122
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    The consequences of PMT, probably :)

  123. 123
    More IQ than Do Nowt Dave says:

    Helen Flanagan for PM

  124. 124
    Persians R US says:

    Ahmadinejad’s not an Arab.

  125. 125
    Mad Nad, the once and future Tory MP says:

    G’day.

    Today my leadership campaign begins.

    You’re either with me or against me.

    lol

  126. 126
    Red Top Hack says:

    Did you say she is Bi ?

  127. 127
    The insecurity of The Inglish revealed again says:

    Sorry little Inglander, wrong again

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitchell_(surname)

    Remember don’t let the truth get in the way of your bigoted mindset.

  128. 128
    restore the monasteries says:

    A journeying woman speaks much of all and all of her.

  129. 129
    Rob Wilson MP says:

    My letter is in the post.

  130. 130
    Benny says:

    Nads isn’t bi. It’s only Dave and Vagues and the little mates that are PC k weers.

  131. 131
    ah! monika says:

    So she’s bi as well. Did she admit that in the jungle?

  132. 132
    Gonk III says:

    My nightmare

  133. 133
    Do one, Nads says:

    Nadine is an attention seeking skank whom Guido, for some reason, has a crush on. When she returns, she should be forced to stand down to allow for a by-election, and then she can go onto a career in reality TV where her abilities can be best put to use.

  134. 134
    Henry says:

    Hi dad!

  135. 135
    Twitter is for Twats says:

    Nobody who uses Twitter should be allowed to vote, let alone become PM.

  136. 136
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    He couldn’t make a hat stand, but he could get one made for him. On expenses, of course.

  137. 137
    Sally *innocentface* says:

    +1

  138. 138
    Taffy says:

    I love ewe

  139. 139
    XXXxx says:

    All mps want to cheer Gordy the odd times he graces to attend the house, or raise cries of “I spy a stranger”, he just might twig, but with difficulty

  140. 140
    Toast says:

    She’s staying.

  141. 141
    Bigcow says:

    A great sarcastic comment in the Evening Standard’s letters page the other day. It said “I love how Sally Bercow always put asterisks around her tweets to make them seem so *funny* and “witty”! *That is, like, so original!!*”

  142. 142
    Hello Tom Watson says:

    Is she starving you of publicity oxygen Tom?

  143. 143
  144. 144
    Portaloo says:

    Only if I can be your bridesboy

  145. 145
    Sally *innocentface* says:

    *fuck off*

  146. 146
    Anonymous says:

    Think how many multiple people relations we have seen. So why is marriage only limited to 2 people. With so much demonstrated support for multiple partners, by our leaders, surely it should be legal by now. There is no fundamental reason for not allowing larger family groups and it is demonstrated to work in many other countries.

    Why are we so different?

    (The answer is the answer to many similar issues.)

  147. 147
    Mr Pampers (i bought the company at the bottom of the market says:

    Avon and Somerset chief constable has retired after the new police commissioner told him he must re apply for his own job !

  148. 148
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    I’d like the MPs with seats in England to start acting English. After all, ‘British’ MPs from Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have no problem acting in the selfish interests of their own nations.

  149. 149
    Window Dressing says:

    Guido also went gaga for La Mensch. It would appear he is as shallow as they come.

  150. 150
    Mad Nads says:

    Hey Sheila hows it hanging?

    I’m just off on a tinny run ready for the barby this evening

    Hang loose

  151. 151
    Watch these commissioners fuck things up says:

    Man of principle.

  152. 152
    Mr Pampers (i bought the company at the bottom of the market says:

    fuck off Abdul !

  153. 153
    Pissed Off soon to be ex Tory Voter says:

    Not next time we won’t — if that PC fiscally incontinent cnut Dave is still the Tory leader

  154. 154
    Mad Nads says:

    Just because he is not a raging gayer like you !

  155. 155
    Kerching says:

    Pension pot – £80k pa

  156. 156
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    Quite thought provoking :)

    However, viewing Ms Flanagan last night, my eyes are no longer directed at her large mammary glands but her hands, the fingers are stained brown through smoking cigarettes, quite a turn off !

  157. 157
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, but you are not a conservative voter and therefore want as much damage to the party as possible, the woman is a disgrace to the office of an MP )not a new thing, she was troughing with best of them 2 years ago) to be honest she is a laughing stock. A female george galloway.

  158. 158
    Trying to keep up says:

    Did Nadine Dorries get back in the country under an amnesty or is this a tangential thread (something I read somewhere and I don’t know what that means either before you ask)?

  159. 159
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Spot on

  160. 160
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    As they say in Newcastle, “Tabs oot for the lads!”

  161. 161
    Anonymous says:

    I am pro EU but I will vote to leave EU as EU cannot operate in the way it does. EU should raise its own tax, rules coming out of EU should be same for everyone, should not let cooperation tax avoidance, etc.

    The way thing has gone UK will be better off leaving EU. As for trade it will not be affected as we are in WTO. Also most goods traded are priced in Euro or $ and not £ even now, so no change on this either.

  162. 162
    Anonymous says:

    Which countries would they be then ?

  163. 163
    Ed Millibland says:

    Yes I sew that and ith wos quite a turn owf. However I wike that tweet and ith will be one of my manifesto pwedges

  164. 164
    Anonymous says:

    Do her conststuents have to have her as an independant ? after all they voted for a Conservative MP.It doesnt seem fair on them.

  165. 165
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    What about raising just the middle finger? Half the effort. You know how lazy those politicians are.

  166. 166
    Mitt the Moron says:

    Yeehaa!
    Bring on extra Moron virgins!

  167. 167
    cheat fellover says:

    £40000 for 2 weeks work in the jungle and £800,000 for a dislocated finger not back work if you can get.

  168. 168
    Edwin Muir says:

    P awoke one morning from uneasy dreams to find that he had been transformed into a gigantic pikey.

  169. 169
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    My wife queried what stocking filler I would like and seemed miffed when I said Rachel Weisz.

    Any other suggestions? (Not blinky please – it would mean never sleeping again if that picture got into my head).

  170. 170
    The Public says:

    Knew he wasn’t up to it.

  171. 171
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    Is there anywhere on this planet you haven’t ‘graced’ with your presence?

  172. 172
    Anonymous says:

    Could we manage if we came out of the EU ? does anybody have the figures ?

  173. 173
    Magaluf Engerlander says:

    From what she said this morning, she had 4 days off in the summer recess from the madhouse, while many of her contemporaries pissed off to the sun for 4 or even 6 weeks (Did any of them stay with Dahling Polly in her BBC funded Tuscan mansion?) and that not only did she arrange for a locum to stand in for her in her constituency, she also worked by skype and email right up until the moment she went into the jungle. Once she came out, she said she had a room kitted out as an office for business as usual.

    Two points – either we are now a internet linked global village or we are not. When you email your MP, it matters not a jot whether they receive it IN the Lebanon or ON the loo! The second point she made, which is shocking (if it is true) that more votes are cast for IAC-GMOOH! than were cast at the last General Election.

    Not sure that just calling her a “troughing publicity seeking ho” will work as shorthand on this.

  174. 174
    PETER MANGLEDBUM (lord of the rings) says:

    I bought a piece of ass

  175. 175
    Mad Nads says:

    Get a barbie mate for the back garden

  176. 176
    Anonymous says:

    She has a fat arse and legs like tree trunks, are you on the funny fags again ?

  177. 177
    Pongo the Invisible Horse says:

    Don’t take life too seriously. She’s a stupid cow, nuff sed.

  178. 178
    Synic says:

    The prat better not stand next to the boy statue — no one will be able to tell the two little piss artists apart

  179. 179
    The Mirror's Brian Reade's mea culpa says:

    As John Prescott now realises after enlisting Tony Blair as a vote-winner in last week’s police elections, we all make mistakes. I know I do. But naming Sally Bercow as 2011 Woman Of The Year in this paper, takes some beating. A beating I truly deserve. I gave it to the Laboursupporting, Cameronheckling, nothing but a bed-sheet wearing Speaker’s wife for winding up the Tories so much last year they ended up detesting her more than Brussels. But this year she’s wound me up so much I’m thinking of moving there to avoid the sight of her and her husband, and not just because they look like they’re auditioning for the sequel to Twins.

    Sally Bercow may well have gone on Twitter to showcase her wit and intellect but her recent primary school efforts have proved the greatest advert for closing the social network down. Her potentially libellous tweeting about Lord McAlpine, who was being falsely accused of p*edophilia, was bad enough. But her follow-ups, which claimed his lawyers were ambulance-chasers and she had not committed libel, defied belief for a private-school (Marlborough College) and Oxford-educated woman. A non-journalist failing to grasp libel law is understandable. But when one believes they do know it when they don’t, and that being “foolish” is a legal defence when they clearly possess a brain, it borders on criminal.

    To then breach a court order by naming a schoolgirl who allegedly ran away with a teacher, (not to mention doing a reality show with gypsy king Paddy Doherty) only adds to the feeling Mrs B deserves to be charged with acute narcissism and temporarily detained away from the public eye. Preferably with her cuddly hubby. For the benefit of themselves and the nation. Because B 13 RCO and S 88 LYY are turning into an even more cringeful, even more unfunny double act than Little and Large.

    *serious face*

  180. 180
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    Achmed, get my dinner jacket …….

  181. 181
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

  182. 182
    Neetanyahoo says:

    Arab – Scarab – whatever – they’re all infidels that need bombing.

  183. 183
    Pongo the Invisible Horse says:

    Do you sell spare hot-water bottle bungs?

  184. 184

    Yes Lurcio, my good wife Amonia asked if I would place my vote for Nads, and I confirmed that I would be giving her one.

  185. 185
    Philip Scofields 3 minute thesis says:

    Really, thanks guys.

  186. 186
    Anonymous says:

    Magaluf, that really isnt the point. She has made a fool of herself on nationwide TV. She bullied other “celebrities “,and came over as unpleasant. how she avoided prosecution over her expenses 2 years ago i dont know,she is disloyal. I could go on, why do we put up with these embarassing people like her, bercow and his mad wife etc ? its just another nail in the coffin of politics.(and if you think its got no reputation to spoil, this is why )

  187. 187
    DW4 RF and SL4 PPA says:

    We’ve changed the plates.

  188. 188
    Pongo the Invisible Horse says:

    True.

  189. 189
    Anonymous says:

    Surely nadine is over things like that at her age ?

  190. 190
    Ruled over by strangers says:

    Our political class seemingly has very little in common with native Britons. They might as well be a foreign occupying power.

  191. 191
    Henry V111 says:

    Meaning?

  192. 192
    The Public says:

    Good point. In voting for a Conservative, they were presumably expecting to be represented by a bit of brain dead lobby fodder without an original thought of her own, willing to sell out the country like the rest of her colleuages in the hope of preferment and a fat trougher’s pension.

  193. 193
    Ex Yard 'tec says:

    Dorries is the thicko who tweeted the fact that the public should back off Andrew Mitchell as he hadn’t committed any criminal offence in his dealings with No. 10’s gate police (if the facts as described by the Old Bill were true).

    I can think of three offences for which they could have nicked him.

    Do we really want gobby, thick shit holding such office?

  194. 194
    The EU says:

    Always happy to oblige

  195. 195

    Oh ffs – what the hell is THIS little spat about? Scottish, Irish, French, Norse – they all go to make up the “English” language, together with Latin, Greek, and judging by the knee jerk xenophobia we show to each other in these small islands, also a large smattering of total bolloc.ks.

  196. 196
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    Only positive note is, she shows no prejudice against those who are vertically challenged :)

  197. 197
    Fishy O'Nadishy says:

    Nae jugs oot fert lads?

  198. 198

    Perhaps it’s because “nice” people don’t want to become MP’s?

    Just a thought, but, that being the case, why are we surprised when they turn out to have feet of clay.

  199. 199

    Well, we never managed at all before without the EU, did we ?

  200. 200

    Sorry, meant to put it here: (!)

    Perhaps it’s because “nice” people don’t want to become MP’s?

    Just a thought, but, that being the case, why are we surprised when they turn out to have feet of clay.

  201. 201

    They are a foreign occupying power.

  202. 202
    8illy 8owden, the world's greatist umplre says:

    Fascinating,

  203. 203
    Ruled over by strangers says:

    But people like Clegg, Abbot, Straw, Milliwatt, Galloway are not English. At best they were just born in England. That is all.

    The English are ruled over by a large percentage of foreigners, who have little connect with native English people, and are indifferent or are outright hostile to the English.

  204. 204
    Anonymous says:

    Did they go the Elton john route to having 4 kids then ? you dont really want Schnorbitz in charge, or any of the other opportunists hanging grimly on to their shadow front bench jobs do you ? because i dont, i havent forgotten the mess they left only 2 years ago.

  205. 205

    No – the KGB is now known either as Gazprom or Chelsea Football Club.

  206. 206
    The British Taxpayer says:

    Send us the bill.

  207. 207
    PETER MANGLEDBUM (lord of the rings) says:

    This is a breakfast !

  208. 208

    Having said that Dobby Putin was once the head of the KGB, and George Bush snr, was the head of the CIA.

    Go figure.

  209. 209
    Democritus says:

    That is up to her constituents. If they want her, then we will just have to accept that.

  210. 210
    PETER MANGLEDBUM (lord of the rings) says:

    Give me a Ring sometime !

  211. 211
    Bo Dickia says:

    No fucki.ng change there, then Pal!

  212. 212
    Robert the Biker says:

    KGB (Komitet Gosudarstsvennoy Besopasnosti)Commitee of State Security
    is now the:
    FSB (Federal’naya sluzhba bezopasnosti Rossiyskoy Federatsii) Federal Secueity Service of the Russian Federation
    Still headquartered in Lubyanka Square

  213. 213
    Anonymous says:

    Instead they got a self serving exhibitionist with an odd concept of loyalty, and the role of an MP. She is like a female George Galloway only putting her own interests first. Do you really think she would be behaving in this odd way if she didnt think she would lose her seat when boundary changes came in ? she positioned hersel for a career in the media then, but of course the changes fizzled out.Your attitude is very odd.

  214. 214

    Is it the nonce register, ‘cos I swear I’ll do time if you come near my kids!

  215. 215
    mre says:

    shes current in top 10 of most recognised politicians and not for rent-swaps or false-tweeting….

    also a conservative not from a toff background, she could go far.

    Wish she would wise up, but she could now say she has tried living on pence for a week, in tough situations and came from a council house.

    last tory to do that won 3 elections in a row.

  216. 216
    Wonga says:

    Are you unemployed but need a new 50 inch Telly? Do you like a flutter at the gee gees and online casinos, but have run out of money? Perhaps you are an alcoholic and just need little cash for your next drink.

    Well whatever your cash flow problem, Wonga is here to help.

  217. 217
    dont be kidded says:

    Really?…Sinn Fein x 5, sdlp x 3 work to undermine Northern Ireland, and the UK at every single opportunity

  218. 218
    Anonymous says:

    I dont believe you are a Tory, you cant want that retard Milliband in. Stop trolling.

  219. 219
    8illy 8owden, the world's greatist umplre says:

    Didn’t think it relevant to tell Mr Mitchell what she’d be doing.

    It epitomises politicians.

  220. 220

    I only have to hear mentioned “HR girleys” for it to send shivers of revulsion up the old spine.

    The difference between them and an infamous Cherman Chancellor (stepped down in 1945) is about 3 stone and bad makeup.

  221. 221
    Anonymous says:

    But no normal MP would touch that show with a bargepole, what was her motivation for eating Kangaroo testicles on nationwide tv ? you do have to wonder about her mental state.

  222. 222
  223. 223
    A Pervert says:

    I still have visions of her nibbling on those testicles. Obviously had plenty of practice.

  224. 224
    Anonymous says:

    I cant see the any party giving permission for one of their MPs to appear on rubbish like that programme, its hardly question time is it ?

  225. 225
    Anonymous says:

    Surely she wont be selected as a conservative candidate for the next election after all this ?

  226. 226

    Send in the UN! They’ll kick butt! (To get upgraded to first class on the plane home from a war zone they were supposed to hold, but fled when 2000 of them were faced with two ten year olds with piñata sticks)

  227. 227

    And Wing Commander Nigel “Crash Bandicoot” Farage always looks to me like he is dressed as the narrator for the Rocky Horror Picture Show, complete with stockings, suspenders and stileto heels.

  228. 228

    Not me, you mong, the paper!

  229. 229
  230. 230
    Sexist pig says:

    Did she get her baps out? I wouldn’t mind havin a look

  231. 231
    Democritus says:

    As I say, it is up to her constituents. If she stands and if they want her, they will vote for her. By the time of the next election, the Conservative ‘brand’ may well not be that much of a draw for voters anyway.

  232. 232

    Yes, we are raising money here, in the worlds poorest country, to help the desperately falling apart country of the UK! They only get their wheelie bins emptied every TWO weeks!! IS THERE NO GOD!!??

    (Thanks Russell Howard!)

  233. 233
    Bah humbug says:

    Commercial TV is currently running wall-to-wall fucking CHRISTMAS adverts. FFS it’s not even December yet!

  234. 234
  235. 235
    Great Granddad:Prime Minister in Waiting, New Utopia Party says:

    Law 1: Members of Parliament will be paid on an hourly basis and will be required to clock in at the doors to the chamber. A Member found guilty of falsely manipulating the clock readings in any manner shall be guilty of a crime punishable by a fine of five thousand pounds or by imprisonment for up to twelve months or both.

  236. 236

    The FSB were always military intelligence – did they launch a take over bid for the KGB?

  237. 237
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    Fuck off

  238. 238
    Bush Tucker says:

    I say chaps. Let’s rush the bum chums weddings through Parliament before Nads gets back from the Antipodes.

  239. 239
    Chav Poor says:

    Dear Mr Wonga,

    I am sick to death of picking through bins for the family meals and would like to upgrade to Lidl or even Asda.

    Please could you impoverish me for life, for some short term gratification?

  240. 240
  241. 241
    Jimmy says:

    She is everything I expect in a Tory MP.

  242. 242
    Lurcio says:

    You low canis!

    Mind you, I should give it quinque.

  243. 243
    XXXxx says:

    Only Yanks and oiks use the one finger, be British remember Agincourt

  244. 244
    Synic says:

    Excellent. But the feckers will all need teaching how to use the time clock, as most of them have never done proper factory jobs

  245. 245
    dunstall says:

    Dorries trip to the jungle has been an absolute pr disaster the only exposure she got was banal evn the cretins who vote on this program couldnt wait to get her out.The Tories need to make an example of her and withdraw the whip altogether she has been detached since she was elected…..Get rid and quick

  246. 246
    keredybretsa says:

    Another Droolworthy MP got some votes but in the negative.

  247. 247
    Anonymous says:

    The problem is the party just ignore the manifesto we voted for once they are elected.

  248. 248
    P45 Nads says:

    MPs
    realise that you need to
    go where the public go.

    Bullcrap. She did it the money. Divisive cow.

  249. 249
    Anonymous says:

    That was the GRU.


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