November 20th, 2012

The Many Apologies of “Dr” Eoin Clarke

He’s sorry, he’s sorry, he’s so, so sorry… Eoin Clarke has been busy apologising again this afternoon. Clarke came to prominence with his seminal PhD study of the history of Irish feminism entitled ‘Feck arf, get me dinner’ and has now risen to the very top of his new field: conspiratorial online left-wing smearing. Last month he was forced to grovel to Ashcroft for smearing him with false allegations, then it was Health Minister Anna Soubry, and now the left-wing loony has had to apologise to Circle Health:

“In several posts on my blog “The Green Benches” in 2012, I made a number of defamatory statements about Circle Health. I now acknowledge that there was no truth to those statements … I would like to offer my sincere apologies to Circle Health for any inconvenience and damage which the untrue statements in my blog have caused. I have removed the offending posts from the blog and undertaken not to repeat the allegations which I made.”

You have to wonder what Eoin’s only reader – Ed Miliband – has to say about it all.


  1. 1
    Ed Millibandwagon says:

    He’th vewwy sowwy.

  2. 2
    Ed Milishambles says:

    He’s apologised – there is no need for a judge led inquiry.

  3. 3
    Kebab Time says:


    The Good Dr does seem to tell a lot of porkies.


    He gives Drs a bad name!

  4. 4
    Nonentitywatch says:

    Never heard of the fecker.

  5. 5
    Doctor Mick says:

    He’s not a real doctor.

    Trust me….

  6. 6
    Father Jack says:


  7. 7
    Beast says:

    Curse that Ashcroft for helping servicemen and women, setting up crimestoppers,giving people jobs
    Tory scum!

  8. 8
    Centre Parting says:

    What about this Lynch bloke (BBC non-exec), Autonomy, HP and the SFO then?

    (Careful, it’s a Peston story.)

  9. 9
    Alexsandr says:

    nor me. Why doesnt he just feck arf.

  10. 10
    Dianne Abbot says:

    West Indian mothers would go to the wall to protect Irish feminism.

  11. 11
    Beast says:

    May I further add that he looks like the sort of chap whoes father would feel a great sense of forboding when told “Im bringing my new partner for the weekend”

    Bonfire of the duvets on a monday

  12. 12
    keredybretsa says:

    That was a full Monty of apologies there on ‘Green Benches’ or perhaps in his case ‘Red Benches’. Oim sorry so fecking sorry, won’t be doing it again till the next toime!

  13. 13
    Empty Ed's Press Spokeman says:


    There is some mishundertanding ‘ere

    We had a little too much of the white stuff

    You know all about that from time to time…

  14. 14
    Cicciolina on probation says:

    “Dr” Clarke is my only friend nowadays…

    He apologises as often as I do

    I support him…

  15. 15
    Jerf says:

    What kind of name is Eoin? Bejaizus.

  16. 16
    Nom Dom Nom says:

    Ah Eoin Clarke, to the political world what David Icke is to Proctology.

  17. 17
    miller m says:

    the doctor said whats wrong with you?

    I said I’ve got a pain

    he said have you had it before

    I said yes

    he said you’ve probably got it again

  18. 18
    Accountant says:

    Interesting you mention this

    Here is the Board of Directors of Autonomy that signed off false accounts in 2011

    This is going to be bid, Guido and my fellow conspirators

    Just look each one of them up and see the “connections”

  19. 19
    Toirdhealbhach Ó Cearbhalláin says:

    It’s pronounced Ian. Irish vowels are “interesting”.

  20. 20
    Common Purpose says:

    Ah Eoin Clarke, to the political world what David Icke is to Proctology.

  21. 21
    Spank Sinatra says:

    So what indeed would Ed say! Hope he has a dictaphone. Can’t imagine anyone will be listening. Ideally it won’t have a ‘play’ button and we will be none the wiser. Come to think of it, I have yet to hear him speak on anything with the same effect…

  22. 22
    The savant6 says:

    Dermot. Hegarty. Sings :

    Doctor. Mike

    Doctor Mike
    Come by train or come. By bike

  23. 23
    reports from the rear says:

    you’ve put your finger in it

  24. 24
    Huge scandal coming says:

    Look up Robert S Webb

    Also a BBC Director as well as ex Chairman of BBC International….

  25. 25
    Ed Millibland says:

    Do I haff a dictaphone? I uthe my finger like anyblody ewse

  26. 26
    Michael Fucking Parkinson says:

    I’ve sold insurance to several Oirish people.

  27. 27
    Sandra in Accounts says:

    Put te fork down – you are an utter disgrace.

  28. 28
    Chairman of the BBC, running for his life says:

    Not another scandal PLEASE

  29. 29
    The savant7 says:

    Paddy. Reilly. Sings. :

    Another bloody. Flight of earls.

    And in his case the farther he flies the better.

  30. 30
    Sue Brown says:

    Another smearing Hunt getting sued, I hope. Time to fight back!

  31. 31
    New Town Toff, Edinburgh says:

    How many sociologists does this country need?

  32. 32
    Correction your honor says:

    It’s not Peston FFS

    It’s HP itself

  33. 33
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    He may be a sorry sack o’ shite, but he’s got a long way to go to excel you in that department, Mr Leader Sillyband.

  34. 34
    A Labour MP says:

    I prefer wife swapping to rent swapping

  35. 35
    Pooh Sticks says:

    Too late, the damage is done. You can’t undo it.Poo sticks. Sue the arse off him.

  36. 36
    Fishy says:

    Didn’t our friends at the BBC pick up on someof these allegations? I seem to remember the Toady programme’s sanctimonious, posh lefty, Sarah Montague, giving Circle Health’s Ali Parsa a really hard time a few weeks back on their financials.

    If I’m right, perhaps the BBC will also say sorry. I think I’ve only heard one apology from them so far this week. Given their current performance, they’re slacking.

  37. 37
    Alexsandr says:

    no, its like Owen

  38. 38
    Brendan says:

    Guinness gets you pissed.

  39. 39
    Sally DumbCow says:

    Don’t Eoin. It is right wing conspiracy to smears us.

  40. 40
    Oirishman says:

    And it tastes the same going down as it does coming back up

    As Guido knew when he was a toddler

  41. 41
    Owen Jones says:

    I caught my neighbours dog having a shit in my garden this morning so I posted it through his letterbox.

    Well, not all of it. Just the legs and tail.

  42. 42
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    It’s still the same scandal, just a different chapter, that’s all.

  43. 43
    V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

    What a left wing tosser.

  44. 44
    Jimmy says:


  45. 45
    . says:

    This comment reminds me of Angela Knight.

  46. 46
    Grumpy Old Man says:

    Your country, one per inmate and 4 on 24/7 cover for the First Minister. This country, not so much.

  47. 47
    Parky says:

    You rang, m’lady?

  48. 48
    taxi driver says:

    like bowels actually

  49. 49
    Owen Jones says:

    I was jogging through the park earlier when I spotted a women breast feeding her baby.

    I stopped and said, “Do you mind!”

    “What? It’s perfectly natural,” she said.

    “I know,” I replied. “I just noticed that you had a breast free”

  50. 50
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Ok Ed – Assume ‘arsephone’ works better?

  51. 51
    Owen Jones says:

    Supercomputer creates map that shows where the angriest, most nervous and most excitable tweeters can be found

  52. 52
    He has zero subscribers to his youtube channel says:

  53. 53
    What a plonker. says:

    The nectar of the gods .

  54. 54
    Enrique Masturbani says:

    Eurotophobia is the fear of female genitalia.

  55. 55
  56. 56
    Anonymous says:

    One of them- Barry Ariko- is a dead ringer for Diddy David Hamilton…

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:

    Do they all share a Common Purpose?

  58. 58
    Aunt Hilda says:

    looks like a congenital mouthrunner

  59. 59
    Alistair McGrigor says:

    I’d give him five years.

  60. 60
    Anonymous says:

    No, it’s pronounced E-o-in. You’ll be telling us Siobhan isn’t pronounced Sio-ban next!

  61. 61
    BBC c*kehead employee says:

    Shaddup and pay for my white powder.

  62. 62
    Old MacDonald says:

    The Irish spell ‘farm’ as ‘EIEIO’

  63. 63
    A fine pair of Lungs and I can prove it says:

    Sue the smearing fecker.

  64. 64
    CarryHole is a Hunt says:

    I’m sure I met Mike Lynch a long long time ago when it was just a start-up…

    Was a bit of a “character” then…

  65. 65
    Spinal Damage says:

    Another socialist with the runs spouting their lefty crap and thinking they can get away it.

  66. 66
    Vaugn says:

    stop pushing me.

  67. 67
    CarryHole is a Hunt says:

    Cardinal Value lower than one.

  68. 68
    D-Ann 'Habbott says:

    ‘ear me now. You iz an impostahh init.

    Nay blacks nay dogz nay Irish be raceist init

  69. 69
    Bobby Sands : Painter and decorator says:

    Fifty shades of bullshit.

  70. 70
    CarryHole is a Hunt says:

    But extortion funded treatment rationing is abhorrent.
    Scrap the NHS!

  71. 71
    Ed Miliionaireband says:

    He is a very great friend of mine. We have a lot in common. For one thing the unions bankroll both of us.

  72. 72
    Hank the Cat says:

    Looks a bit inbred to me, the massive forehead is the give away

  73. 73
    BBC Talent and Vision says:

    Hmm, this chap seems just the sort for us. Excellent credentials, sound approach to fact based journalism. Newsnight anyone? We could start him on a simple Jersey based contract on 450K for an eight part series….

    Well, that was a months worth of work, must get off to Tuscany to relieve the stress.

  74. 74
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    Eoin should be goin.

  75. 75
    generally_interested says:

    Wonder how he funds his ‘work’? Wouldn’t be surprised if one of the Unions paid his wages. I think we should be told.

  76. 76
    East India Company Wallah says:

    Indeed it is owen,spelt in irish as tis the paddy word for john

  77. 77
    Edinburgh socialist junkie says:

    Rip him a brand new one. Sue the arse off him.

  78. 78
    NE Frontiersman says:

    From his Green Benches blog: ‘ I took it as a given that people would realise that Lord Ashcroft is not a trained medical doctor…’

    What would make them think so? Lord Ashcroft does not put the monicker’ Doctor’ in front of his name, a practice some might consider a trifle misleading.

  79. 79
    Hypocritical Oath says:

    He should follow your lead Guido and never apologise for any of his lies and false smears.

    Seems to work pretty well for you.

  80. 80
    JH3 says:


    Eoewn’s Euewenion’s Ouewen’s What-the-fuck-ever’s parents are almost certainly your garden-variety progressive-on-someone-else’s-coin public sector lefties, and would insist on having a fucking garden party with sparklers if he brought a piece of rough trade home, punctuated with awkward silences as the happy couple disappear at regular intervals to ‘secretly’ fellate each other in the en-suite.


  81. 81
    seamus o'nailbom says:

    Did you know that Eoin is the Irish-Celtic for “retard”?

  82. 82
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Why doesn’t Cereal Oink (that’s his anagram) just delete his offensive blog instead of deleting it post-by-tedious-post?

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:


  84. 84
    Come on you Irons says:

    Sounds like Any Old Iron as we say down barking High Road.

  85. 85
    Come on you Irons says:

    Arsephone? Wasn’t she some Greek goddess or similar?

  86. 86
    Father Jack can play with me says:

    “WELL! that is alight then isn’t it, Father Ted”, says Father Dougal McGuire, the Edinburgh Hibernian supporter, the feckarse he is?

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    I’m against the Tory NHS reform, but this guy is about as helpful to the cause as a Bill Clinton campaign against sexual harassment in the workplace.

  88. 88
    CHROIST! BRAS, and KNICKERS! says:

    Or should I say Father, have yews been to to the Congo lately? I will not wanting me to catch monkeys aids, do I, let alone ebola, ey Father?

  89. 89

    Eoin’s Mum: “Can anyone else smell, well, erm ….cum?

    Eoin: Sorry Mammy. Tarquin just burped.

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