November 16th, 2012

BREAKING: Prezza Knocked Out


  1. 1
    gramma says:

    There is a god.


  2. 2
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    Would you believe I’m glad.


  3. 3
    keredybretsa says:

    Couldn’t have happened to a nicer fella!


  4. 4
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    As for Corby, in 2010 the electorate put their faith in Cameron, and he repaid them with lies.

    They were not going to fall for it again.


  5. 5
    Hugh Janus says:

    Excellent news! Add to that the fact that the Grauniad will not be paying Moonbat’s libel costs, and Sally the Alley is going to have to cough up the cash before long – not a bad week all told!


    • 31

      The difference between nice and nasty:

      Alistair McAlpine did not blame Steve Messham for wrongly identifying him as his abuser. Lord McAlpine also recognised that to claim huge damages from the BBC would only rebound on the licence fee payer. Here is an example of a nice person acting under huge stress and still keeping a sense of proportion.

      Sally Bercow, may not have accused Lord McAlpine of abusing but she snarkily bandied his name about. When it became apparent she was mistaken, she made a very half hearted retraction (cp. George Monbiot) and she even went on to niggle about whether or not she had defamed him at all. No apology for the hurt that she had played such a part in heaping upon Lord McAlpine. Here is an example of a nasty person acting without care for who she steps on.

      Presumably because Lord McAlpine was from the other party, any nastiness from her is justified collateral.


      • 39
        Shocked of Sheen says:

        Hear hear.


        • 87
          Bill says:

          monbiot is not about to realise that the guardian is not willing to back him and he will have to face the full legal costs as well.

          Mrs bercow is about to realise that her tweet could be expensive as well as competely ruin any political career she might have as the possibility of being convicted for libel is not a good start for a politician. It could also cost eventually her husband his job as both sides of the house decide his not worth it.


          • Legal Landlord says:

            You can’t be convicted of libel as it is a civil rather then criminal matter .


          • Lightbulb says:

            I belive that if she is bankrupted she would be precluded from being an MP


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            To legal Landlord – you appear to have been quite misled (or you are being mischievous) as to conviction – if as you posit; without going to far into conviction ‘and then prison’ – there are many people cum ‘dissidnts’ who have been locked up within the UK prison system on unmeritous grounds directly linked to libel. Are you a legal troll trying to deflect from many untruths? The unlawfully imprisoned are out there – and they are all coming together.


          • One Step Beyond says:

            You can stick a red (or indeed, blue) rosette on a pig or a parrot in some places, but even die-hard Labour voters would think twice before voting for Sally.


        • 127
          green ink says:

          spot on moniker


      • 81
        Fishy says:

        She’s now suggesting that her troubles are about her being on the wrong side of people’s agendas.


        • 93
          1984 says:

          And certainly not her being on the wrong side of the agenda?


        • 95
          I don't nee d no doctor says:

          No, it’s just because she is a prat, scrounging off the tax payer, and a generally shitty piece of work. Both of the Bercows are so far up their own arses they don’t realsie how much the public despise them.


        • 100
          Universal Hiss says:

          I hope this vile woman carries on like this. The bill she will be facing just keeps going up.


        • 341
          paddy says:

          She is agreat lass. I back her to the hilt, again.


      • 133
        Engineer says:

        One thing to come out of this is that I now have a little respect for Monbiot. His tweet was stupid, but at least he had the decency to accept that he’d goofed off and apologised fully in writing. The guy clearly has some decency and human feeling.

        I suspect that as a result, McAlpine will reduce the settlement he’ll seek from Monbiot, and of course the costs will be much less. Points that La Bercow might ponder upon.


        • 164
          Stan says:

          Agreed, even though Monbiot is, at bottom, a weapons-grade narcissist. He seems to have a bit of breeding, unlike Mrs B.


          • Stan Stereason says:

            But how much will he have to cough up then?

            It should be around £200,000 but maybe more.

            He’ll possibly lose his house, and that’s what you get for being an outstanding arsehole


        • 388
          Anonymous says:

          How very naive, of you.
          Monbiot’s statement was simply self-serving, publicly apologising for his idiocy in the hope of reducing his settlement, while continuing to try to justify his tweet.
          “I trusted his {Messham’s} account unquestioningly.” Why? Because it matched his agenda? Because it was backed by his fellow lefties at BBC’s Newsnight and TBIJ? Like them, he cast aside all reason – “without any of the care I usually take when assessing and reporting an issue” – in desperation to smear the Conservative party.


      • 137
        Anonymous says:

        if he did blame steve messham, then we could get to the bottom of why Steve Messham was apparently misdirected.

        a distance is being created from the truth.


        • 207
          concrete cunt says:

          a very big distance


          • Anonymous says:

            and that is the distance between us and reality.
            Do we live in a make belief world. is reality so terrifying?


        • 225
          Prescott's evil glare says:

          We already know the truth.

          The BBC and left wing tosspots all over the shop saw ‘Tory’ + ‘Paedophile’ +’Thatcher’ and decided to fill in their own blanks because it was too good an opportunity to pass up. That’s why no checks were done..they were drunk and high on the prospect of destroying the Consrervative Party forever.


      • 342
        Anonymous says:

        Lord McAlpine is generous with Steve Messham but not others. why?
        If he is in the clear, then why take the money. rubbing ppl’s nose in it is also humiliating for them. He has also created panic.

        if all this is nice, then we all have a different reality.
        Managing twitter is not a business for a person who does not even use the internet. He could however return to the UK and sort out the child sexual abuse mess that we are deeply mired in.


        • 354
          Blowing Whistles says:

          Macalpine has some deep thinking to do – like is he just a moneygrubbing compo culture vulture or is he going to address the main subject surrounding his new found wealth and scuttle off back to italy?

          Saying he’s hurt but ignoring the actual abuse endured by so many others is hypocrisy of the highest order.

          Get your finger out MaCalpine.


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Sorry about the typo of his surname – its McAlpine.

            I’m going to re-read Sandra Uttley’s book Dunblane Uncovered again – and I hope McAlpine reads a copy of it some day soon!


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            I hope with all his newly acquired dosh McAlpine acquires a copy of Dunblane Unburied.


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Dun blane un buried.


          • David says:

            You sick fuck. McAlpine is in poor health and was spending his time peacefully in Italy when all this was visited upon him, a propos of nothing. As anyone who is attacked, he is entitled to defend himself.

            It is sincerely to be hoped that your wretched and misguided life does not continue for much longer if you have such an automatic prejudice against anyone who is not of the same age as you and whilst you remain ignorant to the point of approaching solipsism.

            That you should take the time out just to be cruel to someone you don’t know and have never met, from behind the safety of your keyboard late at night, illustrates how low your own self-regard must be. You are too twisted and mean spirited even to be a Liberal Democrat.


          • Frederick says:

            Blowing Whistles WTF ! McAlpine has nothing to do with child abuse. If you care so much then do something. And by making them pay McAlpine makes them think again next time.


  6. 6
    restore the monasteries says:

    there is a God.!!!


  7. 7
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    And the Lib Dems losing their deposit. We DO have a democracy


    • 123
      Bugler Bert says:

      It also proves that Clegg is even more stuoid than his namesake in “Last of the Summer Wine”


      • 272
        Nora Batty says:

        Is he the one in wellies ????


        • 291
          terrytory says:

          PEARL says…

          Norman Clegg lives next to me and my pathetic husband – he’s the one with the hots for Marina.


          • Alf Tupper,s brother Rammy. says:

            Alf Tupper did not have proper racing gear .He wore a mucky vest and stained underpants, he never took his working boots off but he always won all his races after a hard days work.


  8. 8
    IDF says:

    Amid the rockets and the bombs Israeli soldiers prepare for battle… by posting pictures on Instagram


  9. 9
    Pleased as punch says:

    He smacks people in the mouth. He is corrupt, he is sleazy and he is over the hill.

    Time to put him out to grass with Margaret Beckett.


    • 64
      harm rattie says:

      “That’s John for you .”


    • 99
      Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

      As long as they don’t put him out to stud with her.


    • 390
      Is terminal dandruff catching? says:

      Every comedian needs a good ‘catch phrase’ by which they are easily recognised. For example, Brucie’s was “Nice to see you; to see you, nice”.

      I think we should all immediately adopt John’s curt, crisp and catchy: “Bugger off”.

      I am sure it will often come in useful and, with a little regular usage, will also be forever connected to our Lord.


  10. 10
    The British Public says:

    Hoorya. Victory of ommonsense over this oaf


  11. 11

    This is something that everyone from every party (and none) can join together in rejoicing.


  12. 12
    Vazoline says:

    Such a pity. Lord Prescott is an upstanding gentleman of the highest integrity like me.


  13. 13
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    This is becoming annoying – as a confirmed atheist I have to say yet again ‘so there is a god’. Now let’ a hope the fat slug just effs off.


  14. 14
    Newbie says:

    Ahhhhhhhh. It couldn’t happen to a bigger twat.


  15. 16
    People of Humberside says:

    We have spoken. Fireworks, dancing and celebrations tonight. The fat pig of Mount Temple is out


  16. 17

    Result not announced yet?


  17. 18
    Scamp The Excitable Dog says:

    Some people DID actually vote for him though.
    This is the bit I’m having trouble getting my head around.


    • 53
      taC eht abbaJ says:

      Many people voted in ZaNuLab more than once, which only goes to show human stupidity knows no bounds…


  18. 19
    PrezzaOut says:

    Good riddance to a proper cnut


  19. 21
    Cressida's Dick says:

    The good people of Humberside who finally worked out the lardarse, violent, secretary shagging, expense fiddling, waste of oxygen, give yourselves a pat on the back and a long cool drink tonight.

    We salute you.


  20. 24
    Blair's Broadcasting Corporation says:

    We shall be playing solemn music for the rest of today.

    Leo Blair, the father of the former Labour prime minister Tony Blair, has died at the age of 89

    Mr Blair was an academic whose jobs included lecturing in law at the Universities of Adelaide and Durham.

    He was chairman of his local Conservative association but had to abandon his ambition of becoming an MP when he suffered a stroke in the 1960s.

    Tony Blair named his youngest son, born while he was in Downing Street, after his father.


    • 27
      1984 says:

      That and the Corby by-election victory should keep news of John Prescott’s defeat off the front page.


    • 37
      Scamp The Excitable Dog says:

      Shame it wasn’t via an illegal air strike, infact, shame it wasn’t via an illegal air strike 60 fucking years ago.
      Feels good doesn’t it Tone?…You’re now a member of a club you’ve made hundreds of thousands of people join by force.


      • 43
        Shocked of Sheen says:

        Rather unkind methinks.


        • 56
          Nowt too bad for Tone says:

          - 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000


        • 60
          Scamp The Excitable Dog says:

          Bollocks is it unkind, you lily livered Commie…I hope Blair’s whole family die screaming in agony right in front of him.


          • Gayboy Fawkes c.2010 says:

            Tony Blair – My Hero!

            p.s. – i’m not gay of course.


          • Living in 99% white North Wales) (does not include sheep) says:

            Hey less of the commie. Blair was more Tory than Scameron.


          • XXX says:

            B’Liar’s rule was even more right wing than John Major-Ball, the Lieborites never raiseed a muff, they were so pleased to be in power. During his his the rule the Tories were very slow to pickup on the build up of debt and bankers shenanigans, mind they had a selection of leaders between 1997 and 2005


          • Really? says:

            Right wing?

            My you are a deluded soul. Bliar was a third way, progressive corporatist. Where did that movement start and who founded it? None other than an Italian called Benito, it was called the third way because it was neither communist or capitalist in nature. Benito, though he flirted with marxism, hated both, he called his new third way movement of collectivist, progressive socialists, fascism.


      • 116
        Anonymous says:

        when the father dies, the man arrives.
        time for bambi to growup.
        he has as yet to atone.


        • 182
          XXX says:

          He thinks has done no wrong, therefore nothing to atone for


          • Anonymous says:

            we will differ.
            father has gone as it is time for the son to growup.
            the loss of the father will be a shock to the system.

            tone is one of life’s stubborn mules.
            Only a great shock and a release (i.e the death of the father) will awake him from his naivity.

            who will he replace his father with?

            So far he has been earthbound….it has not delivered what he wants…peace (sadly by any means). The shock of his father’s death will spiritualise the materialistic man. He needs to do something global. I expect him (although you may not like this) to create a backdrop for global mysticism. so forget catholicism, the man is gonna go global. There is no other way all his needs can be met.


          • Twizzle says:

            Don’t bogart that joint, man.


    • 47
      It would have saved the world says:

      Why no contraception?


    • 155
      Leo Blair says:

      “Let’s have an early night, Hazel.”

      ……..EPIC FAIL


    • 184
      Expat Geordie says:

      Leo Blair worked in Sierra Leone in the 1960’s. There was a belief at the time of our military intervention there in 2000 that this was the sole reason that British forces were sent. However, if you ever want to look up the definition of a “just war” then look at Sierra Leone. It is the one thing that Blair did right. Unfortunately it gave him the taste for war.


    • 219
      Pitchfork. says:

      Pity tony blair had not died, it could not happen to a nicer person, when he does I will be drinking champagne.


  21. 26
    Tron says:

    This is the only result I wanted today.
    Prezza is a pig.
    On second thoughts I like pigs, he’s a slug.


  22. 29
    post hoc says:

    Oh joy, oh bliss – thank you Santa!


  23. 34
    John of Hull says:

    I’m gutted – I’m empty – give us chips chips and more chips – I’ve got a hole ter fill up!


  24. 35
    Result in says:

    Prescott lost

    Grove won!!!!!!


  25. 38
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Not a good day for criminals in Surrey. New PCC is Kevin Hurley representing the Zero Tolerance party.

    Tasers out!


    • 170
      The times they are a changing says:

      Until the judiciary are sorted out , it doesn’t matter who wins the plod vote and sics plod onto the criminals, nothing will happen apart from loads of money paid to lawyers.


      • 340
        BodMot says:

        Judges seem to have very little wiggle-room in sentencing, it all seems to be decided by the “civil” “service”.

        Stimulate the economy by building prisons.
        1 Construction boom.
        2 Lower insurance costs.
        3 Lower policing bills.


      • 392
        Is terminal dandruff catching? says:

        Have you spelled ‘joodiciary” correctly?


  26. 40
    nellnewman says:

    He’ll be very sad to have missed out on an other £70k a year.


  27. 41
    1984 says:

    Even more bitter for Prescott (and Labour) is that he wasn’t beaten by some independent but by the Tory candidate (if BBC breaking news is correct).

    Hilarious. Old John will have already pencilled in all his mates/sons for the various roles. Earmarked the various Tory councillors he was going to go after on trumped up charges. Already mentally spending all his planned ‘expenses’ and PCC salary.

    All gone. **** POOF ****.



    • 52
      Cressida's Dick says:

      Hysterical ain’t it? To be beaten by the Indy would have been bad enough for the git but in the last contest of his political career he is beaten by the object of all his hate, bile and spite. A Conservative.



    • 65
      Anonymous says:

      + 100


    • 78
      Black Cab says:

      Rejoice, rejoice, rejoice!


    • 185
      Expat Geordie says:

      A Tory winning in Humberside!

      As the old song goes, “The times they are a changin'”.


      • 410
        Jon Snowman says:

        On the form of the last general election, the Conservatives should have expected a majority in Humberside of about 7-8,000, given a quarter of the 2010 turnout. This was never going to be a shoe-in for Prezza. Rural north Humberside is largely blue.

        You still have to laugh though. Heartily.


  28. 44
    I´m stark bollock naked says:

    Fuck me!!!!!


  29. 46
    Kyoto says:

    As they say

    All political careers eventually end in failure.


    • 59
      1984 says:

      In Prescott’s case it started in failure, dipped into abject failure, was rewarded with a peerage and has finally bungee-jumped off the Victoria Falls Bridge of failure.


      • 82

        There has never been a more useless appointment to Westminster. And certainly not one that achieved such high office.

        When one considers his lardship was up against the likes of Harman, Opik, Gummer, Clegg, Teather, Flint, Blears, Archer, Watson, the Hamiltons, Heath, Morrison Williams, Castle Currie and Cable his achievement can only be all the greater.


  30. 48
    Winnie the Pooh says:

    Sing-a-long @ PeezaPig.


  31. 51
    Julian The Wonderhorse says:

    I am going up this weekend. A Tory back in Hull. Wilberforce is back!


  32. 54
    Blair is an evil cunt says:

    Leo Blair, the father of the former Labour prime minister Tony Blair, has died at the age of 89

    A spokesman for Mr Blair said “Tony’s very saddened but he won’t be able to cancel his current engagements at 5 star hotels to attend the funeral.


    • 66
      Blair is an evil cunt says:

      Leo Blair was chairman of his local Conservative association but had to abandon his ambition of becoming an MP when he suffered a stroke in the 1960s.

      Tony Blair said he was “privileged to have him as a Dad”.

      “He was a remarkable man. He did whatever I asked of him, because he knew if he didn’t, he’d have to take a walk down Harrowden Hill.”


    • 274
      Sir Barrington Minge says:

      Like we care?….really??


  33. 55
    one man with two votes says:

    So the liberals’ PR thingy does have a use then.


    • 84
      1984 says:

      That AV thing didn’t work out quite as well for them as they’d hoped. There were lots of people elected who weren’t Labour or Tory. It’s just that (so far) NONE of them are Liberal.

      Funnier and funnier.


  34. 58
    Bob Double Diamond Standard says:

    He can still dress up and play cops and robbers at home. “I’m arresting you Pauline on suspicion of “..”no John you bloody well are not….”


  35. 61
    1984 says:

    Loving Guido’s Twit-pic. If looks could kill.


  36. 68
    Winnie the Pooh says:


  37. 69
    Maggie says:

    Rejoice, Rejoice.


  38. 74
    Marmite says:

    Just heard Presclot congratulating the tory winner. Talk about sour grapes! That b@st@rd should join BLiar’s dad as soon as possible.


    • 102
      1984 says:

      Apparently he hasn’t lost an election since the 1960′s.

      That’s why it’s called a ‘safe seat’ John.

      Or was.

      Ahahahahahaha. [changes socks] ahahahahaha.


      • 153
        Jimmy says:

        Since the 60s eh?

        That’ll come as a shock to Tony then.


        • 239
          TheBeast of Doggerbank says:

          Smallcock is part of the same clique of traitors that destroyed our fishing Indistry and the liveliehood of his constituents
          Get him, net him then drag the t£$t along the dogging banks
          Filthy fat disgusting perv
          Has he ever visited a childrens home ?


      • 241
        TheBeast of Doggerbank says:

        Is your R key faulty Mr 1984?


    • 191
      Fat arse presclot says:

      RT @Iain_31: only 1 red blob in the south Yvette – you’re not a 1 nation party


    • 255
      Rhoda Borrocks says:

      Has Plescott rost his rittre brue pirrs ?


  39. 75
    Anonymous says:

    lol – that is all


  40. 76
    Weygand says:

    The turnout shows that the election was actually decided by the”Anyone but you-know-who” factor.
    Labour cooked their own rather lardy goose in selecting Prezza as their candidate.


  41. 77
    JP4P45 says:

    Off you fuck.


  42. 80
    Pitchfork. says:

    Face like a slapped arse.


  43. 86
    GrumpyG says:

    If looks could kill: it could not happen to better bloke, now get back to the wilderness.


    • 92
      nellnewman says:

      Some wilderness!! – don’t forget he still has the HoL to keep funding his lavish lifestyle!!


      • 180
        Anonymous says:

        HoL is odd.
        Does it make sense to have members in the house who live abroad (McAlpine in Italy and Ashcroft in Belize).
        other ppl like dual passport holder boris has the same issue.

        stay in this country with a legal status to reflect this or go.


        • 192
          Engineer says:

          It isn’t compulsory to turn up just because they have the title. It would be very crowded indeed if they all turned up together.

          The only problem arises when ones that don’t turn up still claim anyway.


          • Anonymous says:

            why is it not compulsory to turn up.
            if they do not turn up, how can they be expected to show competence.

            is government legislation not important for them? in any case, if they cannot even show loyalty to the country by being resident here or giving up on foreign interests, then no wonder the ruling class is disloyal. Disloyalty will cost a lot more than the cost of daily attendence allowance.


        • 194
          XXX says:

          They should look to the countries where they pay their taxes or reside, why should the UK armed forces have to go rescue them when things get nasty, there a lot of dangerous places abroad


  44. 88
    IMHO says:

    Money well spent after all then (£100 million), some truth in the saying that you can fool some people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time. The sight of John Prescott being filmed going for a celebratory banquet dinner at Mr Wu’s accompanied by police outriders and patrol cars with flashing blue lights would have been just too much to bear.


    • 188
      Anonymous says:

      Tony Blair’s appearance in Hull to canvas for Prescott did the lardy no good. Thanks be for the good sense of region’s electorate to vote for a conservative.
      A little conundrum now- Do people vote labour because they are poor or are they poor because they vote labour.? Cannot help noticing that deprivation is in the Labour territories Why is this?


      • 233
        Tony Ben's will says:

        Keep them poor keep them voting labour


        • 366
          Mr Nobody says:

          They’re not all that stupid though, many aspire to better themselves. My grandfather did. There will always be more working-class Tories than socialist millionaires.


  45. 89
    Col Nut says:

    Mine’s a gin and tonic.


  46. 90
    Jimmy says:

    You all seem a bit cranky today for some reason.


  47. 97
    Bunboys says:

    Ginsters in trouble.


  48. 101
  49. 104
    Cressida's Dick says:

    The only negative being that it cost £100m to settle his hash once and for all.


  50. 107
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    Could Ummuna tell us why Prescott didn’t win. Ummuna spouts about everything so I’m sure he will be able to tell us.


  51. 108
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    Is there one of the labour shadow cabinet that you wouldn’t want to smack in the face?


  52. 111
    Lard Pressclott - Laughing Policeman in waiting says:

    I’ll have to go back to my previous moniker – Lard Pressclott of Beams, Bellies, Banjos, Bulimia, two Jags & Shags.


  53. 113
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    With Prescott down, and hopefully the Bercows many thousands of pounds lighter, I will gladly give labour Corby.
    Bercow’s resignation as Speaker would be the icing on the cake. Have it


  54. 117
    dunstall says:

    Did Jonah campaign for him?


  55. 120
    Cressida's Dick says:

    And in other news another political arsehole, Michael Mates, lost his battle to be PCC for Hampshire. I’m beggining to warm to this PCC election idea. A good vehicle to build up the hopes of these people and then let the electorate shat on them.


    • 128
      1984 says:

      Indeed. Independents elected all over the shop.

      Maybe the voters will get a taste for it.


      • 193
        Expat Geordie says:

        Trouble is the “Independent” elected in Dorset is a former Sussex copper who is in hock to the local slum landlord (and convicted criminal) and supports a charity that brings addicts down here for “rehab” and a Housing Benefit subsidised room in one of said slum landlords properties.


        • 223
          Fog on the Tyne says:

          Can’t be any worse than back here on Tyne – we’ve got that fucking appalling
          Baird woman.


          • dunstall says:

            This woman will be trouble mark my words and all those plod who have undermined the coalition are in for a very rude awakening wathc out for appointing Labour troughers ,there maybe trouble ahead……count on it


          • Expat Geordie says:

            Just Googled her. This is part of her Wiki entry.

            “Thereafter, Baird was involved in many high profile cases at the bar, regularly defending in murders, robberies, drug cases, fraud and bribery cases at the Old Bailey and on appeal to the Court of Appeal and House of Lords. She also prosecuted in environmental cases for Greenpeace.”

            And SHE has been elected as PCC for Northumbria. Talk about poacher turn gamekeeper/ fifth columnists/ conflict of interest.

            You poor bastards.


        • 226
          Anal Discharge says:

          There is nothing straiter than a bent copper. Corruption rules…


    • 176
      A Hampshire resident says:

      If I’d known Mates was standing I’d have bothered to wobble down to the polling station to vote for somebody else.

      He turned up at our village hall years ago in electioneering mode, gave a speech saying what a shite Blair is, etc., etc., then there was a Q&A, at the end of which his handler said “Are there any more questions?”

      “Yes,” I said, “are you still in touch with Asil Nadir?”

      Didn’t go down too well.


  56. 122
    IDF says:

    Shame on CNN and BBC! Journalism my rear end!


  57. 126
    50 Calibre says:

    Best news for a long, long time. Lord Lardarse out on his fat arse. Bet the Humberside Bobbies are ecstatic tonight. That will put a spring in their step…


  58. 130
    IDF says:

    Last attack .. 3 brothers from Abu Jalalah family,among them a high ranked Al-Qassam leader .


  59. 132
    50 Calibre says:

    One day Dave and his daftarse mates in the Westminster bubble will realise what really matters to the electorate. Regrettably it will be much too late. Emigrate while there’s still somewhere to go and/or somewhere that will let you in from the remains of Once Great Britain…


  60. 135
    Humberside voter says:

    Do yew now, tha fur all theys yars I been thinking that puttin’ me ‘X’ by John Prescott’s name meant ‘I don’t like this ‘ere won.’

    Now its been explained to me I’m finally rid of tha lardy dah ermine pig man.
    Good riddance to bad roobbish


  61. 142
    Lard Pressclott of Beams, Bellies, Banjos, Bulimia, two Jags & Shags. says:



    • 147
      The Libor party says:


  62. 156
    Prescott Watch says:

    What a cheery way to end the week. A nice touch that Prescott got more first preference votes, but was then beaten to the job courtesy of that 2nd preference nonsense that the Lib Dems love so much. Also did anyone ask Prescott how he could crediby expect to oversee the Police with his own record of expenses-fiddling and Council – Tax forgetting?


  63. 157
    Ho fun and pad prik says:

    Prescott’s local chinese will do big business tonight. He’ll comfort eat over his failure, which will mean ordering the entire menu.


    • 190
      Wun Hung-lo says:

      His Lawdship eat us out of house and home evvy time he come in. He come in, we shut down to otha patron. No pwoblem him paying. He gonna put on House of Lawd expenses anyhow. Maybe see maw of him now. Still, was looking fowud to banquet business fwom police depawtment if Big John elected, even though have to pay bung to get it. Make it up on volume from man himself.


      • 289
        I Hate the Cunts says:

        Gosh the thought of LardArse doing a 69, makes me feel very sick.


      • 365
        Walking shit heap Pickles. says:

        Could you please send me a copy of your menu? and do you do freight container deliveries? you know,like a skip at a time. yummy.


  64. 158
  65. 161
  66. 162
    Fat arse presclot says:

    Please can someone tweet with a hash tag



  67. 165
    I'm,(now), a believer says:

    I used to be an agnostic, but now I’m not sure ? I did pray to whatever Gods there were that this pig wouldn’t get his nose in any more troughs…asnd it worked !!


  68. 167
    John Prescott sings Britney Spears says:

    Give me a sign
    Hit you baby, one more time


  69. 168
    Janitor J says:

    hmmm…….. no longer need to reinforce the station shitter


  70. 177
    Dixie says:

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Good


  71. 178 says:

    Prestwat has just been arrested for wasting police time.


  72. 183
    Bogeyman says:

    Can’t believe there’s so little comment on UKIP. They whipped LibDem arse in many constituencies and are neck and neck with them on the total vote.


    • 244
      One Of Guido's Nasty Regulars says:

      Too busy mocking the afflicted, unfortunately. We all know that the disabled should get respect and should automatically get any job they apply for, but not in this case…. snigger.


    • 398
      Candy Date says:

      All in good time. Too much other merriment going on in here at the moment.


  73. 186
    Guns blazing says:

    Action fans. If you like good old fashioned violent shoot em ups, tune into Under Siege 2 tonight on E4 to see Steven Seagal back when he was lean and not the fatso he is now.


    • 294
      Anal Discharge says:

      Steven Seagal is not as hard as Lard Presscott, who can clear a curry house with on fart.!


      • 433
        14 pints& a base ball cap back ter front says:

        ,Od on a minnit, tha,s seen nowt till tha,s seen me in a drunken rage,ah soomtimes even freeten me sen.


  74. 189
    Blurred says:

    I do hope Leo Blur died a painless and natural death and didn’t get the Harrowden Hill treatment from Tone. I wouldn’t put it past St Tony to do that to his own dad. Yes, I’m being very facetious and cruel, but Blair’s a piece of excrement, and his dad at least lived a long life.


  75. 195
    JWil says:

    So much for Prezza’s self-belief. It appears that their a few who have any belief in him.

    He has had a good enough run and should put his feet up and GET OFF OUR SCREENS.


  76. 197
    Anonymous says:

    I can’t hep it but I have returned about twenty times this evening to look at Guido’s pictures of Lardy Prescott. I want to impress them on my memory so that whenever I have a bad day, my face will light up in a big grin every time I recall them.Life is good.


  77. 198
    Living in 99% white North Wales) (does not include sheep) says:

    So the new nuclear submarine is a crock of shit, rusting faster than a 1985 Yugo.
    British Aerospace – perpetual sucking at the taxpayer’s teat?


    • 288
      Expat Geordie says:

      Why the question mark? BAe treat the MoD budget as their own private kitty. We have the fourth largest defence budget in the world yet in Libya we could only use 8 Typhoons because we didn’t have enough pilots for them. And we had to get Tornadoes to target mark for them.

      And the Tornado fighter has a maximum ceiling of only 30,000 feet – that’s lower than a Battle of Britain era ME109!

      Yet Cameron wants us to set up a no-fly zone over bloody Syria. With what?


      • 312
        Anal Discharge says:

        It’s the new strategy ‘Eaton Mess’ all done to confuse the enemy. Always advise enemy in advance of tactics via BBC gobshites.


      • 363
        Anonymous says:

        although there is noise to get troops out of afghanistan now, we are also being softened for sacrificing our troops in syria.

        our troops should be in the UK.
        when they are not their activities end up making ppl very rich. we really should value our lives more.


  78. 203
    Silent Brian says:



  79. 206
    The BBC are cnuts says:

    Old habits die hard…………….


  80. 208
    Quite Tory says:

    How fantastic to see a prime cock like Prescott lose! Priceless


  81. 210
    every fuckin picture tells a fucking story says:

    and the story here is . . . . . something or someone is gonna get a good seeing-to tonight


  82. 216
    Lard Pissclot says:

    I won’t be standing in any more elections. The voters have finally realised that I’m just a fat useless prick and they won’t vote for me anymore. However,I will still be appearing on the BBC to give my opinions on all and sundry.


  83. 218
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    That is £80,000.00 worth of pies he will not be eating :)


  84. 220
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Anyone know how much ‘Aunty Beeb’ is paying fatty Wogan to present CIN?


  85. 221
    Tracey says:

    Can I do anything to comfort you John?


  86. 222
    Anal Discharge says:

    Me I,am over the moon that detestable creature is out.

    So happy in fact I just had a mega dump to celebrate.

    Let the Lard come an eat shite.


  87. 235
  88. 237
    Rachel says:

    The BBC has issued an apology to Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sacks after he was asked about the Gaza situation while he thought he was off-air.

    The Buggering Boys Corp just can’t help it – can they!


  89. 240

    Tracey Temple shagged that apparition at the top of the page.

    For Fuck’s sake!


  90. 247
    Anonymous says:

    ‘It aint over ’till the fat pig scowls’


  91. 249
    Ruskin College Oxford says:

    Mr Prescott was a student at our college this how he got his start in politics. He is our most famous and successful ex-student.
    How does he repay us for this?
    He doesn’t
    The ungrateful ugly lardarse.


  92. 254
    Living in 99% white North Wales) (does not include sheep) says:

    Children in Need over £10m so far.

    All credit to the BBC.


    • 293
      Expat Geordie says:

      My company are working some of the phones for Children in Need tonight. As I work in the non-call centre part of the office, my desk has been one of those comandeered for it. If it is anything like all of the previous times I’ll have a load of crap to clear up on Monday morning – right animals these call centre chickens. Suspect that thay might get a few abusive phone calls this year though.

      I don’t actually agree with it so when they come round our desks demanding money for it they tend to get a very short response and I tend to get into trouble.


      • 364
        Anonymous says:

        we are still sleep walking zombies. BBC and children. must never come together. and then we get all hysterical about child sexual abuse.
        do we care or do we like the sensation of caring. all feeling. no action.


    • 305
      Hank the Cat says:

      children and paeds you mean


  93. 266
    Lou Scannon says:

    Can someone please tell me who is the arsehole responsible for these ludicrous PCC elections ?
    It’s blindingly obvious that the police should be politics-free if they’re ever to be respected and it’s also blindingly obvious that the electorate never wanted these elections. For the most part you’d just be voting for someone you knew nothing about other than the party with which they were associated.
    The whole exercise should be written off and no-one appointed, and it should never be repeated. It’s just been a colossal waste of money and achieved nothing other than making everyone involved look stupid.


    • 273
      nellnewman says:

      I suspect this is a libdem wetperson nonsense!!


      • 330
        Facefacts says:

        Or it could be one of the massive percentage of people who were not interested or who did not agree with it I do not think they are ‘libdem wetpeople. get real.


        • 349
          The public says:

          I agree. The whole thing has been a farce. Moreover, some key local people at the grassroots level who know and care a lot about crime issues – local magistates – were barred from standing. No idea what the thinking behind that was.


    • 281
      Bogeyman says:

      Quite agree. I could hardly believe that it turned out to be a party-political election.

      That said, it did help me to avoid one particular box on the ballot paper.


    • 295
      Tattooed_Arry says:

      I would have voted as would a hell of a lot of others here.
      The local police are a waste of time.
      I once reported (999) someone walking about on the street with a firearm. Children playing yards away.
      Seven hours later I was called back by the Police asking if he was still there….
      An elected PCC may do something positive here.
      I didn’t vote.
      No information whatsoever.
      Polling cards but nothing else whatsoever. Mickey Mouse could have been standing as far as we knew…
      Someone needs sacking over this fiasco.

      But no as usual lessons will be learned and all the same bollocks we hear everytime somethinf like this happens.

      Omnishambles? Piss up in brewery comes to mind.
      And this from a lifetime Tory supporter.


      • 308
        Expat Geordie says:

        We had a council by-election in Poole so we got some PCC literature tacked onto the council stuff. Other than that though, nothing.

        Incidentally the Tory won the council election. Good woman – she works at the same place as me. Thing is she hasn’t moved into the ward yet as her house move fell through before the election was announced. The Limp Dim used this against her.

        Now the Limp Dim is a woman called Jenny Paton, who lives just behind me, and according to her election literature has lived there for 7 years. But three years ago she was in the national press (I think even Richard Littlejohn had an article about her) because Poole council had spied on her for three weeks because they thought that she had lied about where she lived to get her kids into a better school.

        Branksome East where she lives is actually near Bournemouth town centre (although classed as Poole) and the school was at Lilliput, near Poole town centre and three miles away. It is well outside the school catchment area. Now either she lied about her address to Poole council, or she lied in her election literature.


        • 316
          Tattooed_Arry says:

          My point above re: the firearm is just the tip of the iceberg here, and I might add I live in a seaside town in North Somerset. It’s not Ladbroke Grove or the Mozart Estate where I grew up. I’d have been happy to vote. But Guido would probably empathize here – whats the point of organising a rave if you won’t tell the punters who’s playing.


          • Expat Geordie says:

            I think that it will be taken more seriously the next time round. It’s new and has been badly organised. The PCC’s have little popular support at the moment but if things don’t improve in their patch then they are ultimately responsible for it and should carry the can at the next election.

            It’s like Ray Mallon, the Mayor of Middlesbrough, who reduced crime by 20% in his first year (or as he put it reduced it by 6000 victims), and is now on his third term. The new Northumbria PCC, Vera Baird, is a former Labour MP and right on lawyer. She will be a disaster and if Labour keep her on then she will lose in a traditional Labour area.

            Actually if played properly it looks like a clever long term plan to kick Labour out of their strongholds. Higher and rising crime rates under Labour PCC’s, followed by falling crime rates under Tory ones could break the Labour voting habit in these areas.


    • 299
      Expat Geordie says:

      Disagree. Ian Blair said that he told his officers not to enforce certain laws, such as trespass, if he didn’t agree with them. He didn’t care what the public thought, they only paid his wages. If a publically elected individual, in touch with the public’s concerns about crime, is able to sack an un-elected twat like that and replace him with someone who will enforce the law, then it is surely a good thing.


  94. 269
    nellnewman says:

    It is the 16th Nov and suddenly my tv has started spewing out Xmas adverts. Couldn’t they have waited for 1st December? Its too early!!


    • 318
      Expat Geordie says:

      Nell, I worked in retail in the mid 90’s, and we were putting Christmas stuff out in the middle of August. My ex and I had a little game to see who could spot the first Christmas ad on the telly. The definition of a Christmas ad being an ad for the Famous Grouse. I remember in 2001 she won when she spotted it on 8th July. I won the next year because it was first shown/spotted on 1st July. I remember this because we split up the next year, possibly due to a lack of excitement at home.

      If you can avoid childrens television it would appear that some sort of sanity has returned and over the past few years Christmas ads mave moved back to October/November.


  95. 286
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    Sally Bercow and Tom Watson have gone very quiet. Not so brave now are they.
    How can John Bercow stay has speaker, has he no morals.


    • 434
      Spellcheck. says:

      Hi don,t know Hits Ha mystery.


    • 441
      JH3 says:

      Twatson has taken to a doing a series of light-hearted, jolly tweets where he pretends to be dead enthusiastic about something. I love such-and-such a track, etc.

      No mention of his pa3do-finder general crusade, funnily enough.

      No most definitely, no ‘Sorry’.


  96. 313
    nellnewman says:

    At the very least we have to be grateful that prezza has failed to get elected to a taxpayer post paying £70K pa plus expenses.


  97. 315
    Saffron says:

    News for today.
    1) Mr Ships waiter beaten in the libor Hull by a Con: horror of horrors.
    2) UKIP ahead of the LibDumbs.
    3)Beeboids drop another clanger Chief Rabbi is on air and does’nt know it.
    4)Lowest turnout for PCC elections since the 2nd world war,wavy davy on the rack once again.
    5) pantsdown now says we should pull out of Gan,not worth another soldiers life,well that took a long time must say.
    6)Lord McAlpine involved in libel actions against various organisations and people and quite rightly.
    7)Watsonian very quiet wonder why.
    8)Finally beeboids very reticent on the Hull elections,wonder why?.


    • 332
      TheBeast of Doggerbank says:

      He didnt even rise to the dizzy rank of Waiter, he was a pot washer and bog mopper
      Well he mopped up after that Yank who spunlked a kid into Pauline before having that gentleman offed to an orphanage
      Pairt of them are just trash
      Sorry but that is an insult to the contents of my bin liner


  98. 323
    not a machine reloaded says:

    Funny day at the 12 Mr Duggan was bouyant that a full Labour victory score card was imminent , by 6pm Ed had remained at the sofa .

    As one blogger has pointed out had it been FPTP prezza would have won .

    UKIP has best ever election result , Lib dems lose deposite and it would seem Labour just hoovered up there votes . Although still puzzled why you would vote Labour when it has no reliable manfesto or explantion of budget cuts , so Corby must have been a disinformation campaign ….


  99. 324
    Fishy says:

    BBC are carrying on about the low PCC turnout.

    OK, it wasn’t great but at least 5 million turned out. That’s 5 million more than were allowed to vote for the BBC DG or the Chairman of the BBC Trust



  100. 335
    nellnewman says:

    So the story of the day is that labour’s prezza failed to get elected as police commissioner in a labour stronghold!!


    • 370
      Facefacts. says:

      If that consoles you ,lord know s you need it,myself I will just have to manage with three by election results,ah well.


  101. 337
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    To be honest guys and gals it’s not often that I have reason to rejoice but today has been pretty good.

    Call it naivety but I reckon the worm is starting to turn. It may just be voter apathy or just the realisation that they are all a bunch of filthy thieves but I have a distinct feeling that any members of the public with any sodding brains, are starting to wake up to the fact that the present showers of shite in Westminster have zero credibility and cannot be trusted full stop.

    Vote often and tell your mates.


    • 353
      albacore says:

      Drake had it easier with the Spanish Armada
      Than the meal that Dave’s making of Abu Qatada
      Ditto immigration, BBC and the E U
      Windmills, the debt mountain and these daft elections, too
      Will no-one else beat upon Sir Francis’s drum
      If the Tories ain’t gonna get rid of this bum?


  102. 338
    ha ha says:

    face like a bulldog liking p**s of a nettle


  103. 343
    John Prescott says:

    I’m sickening about these mastications among you southern jessies about my politicising celebritea just becausse I lost doesn’t mean I lost the plot. In fart, I have a grate future as Ed Miliband has just conformed. Ed will next weak announce a new policing initiative, the Age of Chancers, in which I will be nominattings to tackle over policing matters including late night drinking and other things like grafatti and it is by using local common ideas that empower people that we will let the people decide about their communes through the Age of Chancers and this will underpinning the Sure Start and make a continuancing with Tony and Gordon’s previous policies and that’s what Ed is doing. It’s an excellent appointmunt, even if I say so myself which I do so here’s to the Age of Chancers and bollox to all you southern jessies.


    • 378
      Southern Softey says:

      Thanks for that m’Lard. You have explained your position and I and many others can only respond by urging you to stuff it up your capacious arse and climb up after it – taking Squit Millibandy with you.


      • 403
        Candy Date says:

        ….. or, more simply: “Bugger off”.


        • 437
          Ed Milliband, special needs vote says:

          Frankly this type of sneering response is typical of Tories who do not understand why we need a fairer society. That’s why I have announced our new initiative, the Age of Chancers, in which John will take a lead in examining food and drink and how this impacts on political trajectories.

          I think what we all need to do is stop posturing and get round the table to find solutions for society’s problems. Really, that’s what Labour is all about.


  104. 352
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    Forgot to mention that here in the multicultural paradise of Luton, EDL and British Freedom candidate pulled in over 8K’s worth of votes, just a few off one of Cleggs useful idiots.


  105. 362
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Apparently Conor Burns MP is regretting these PCC elections.

    With his involvement in the background [publicly seen documents] with the failed tory candidate in his region – someone at CCHQ better think again about Burns being on that committee he’s just been elected to sit on!!!


  106. 377
    The Last Post says:

    I will be the last post after 12 ish PM ish

    Now it’s sorta Saturday ish

    Anyone posting now is like sad ish


  107. 380

    Perhaps it’s not One Nation today…


  108. 381
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Corby ? Corblimey. Another quiet day in the office, luv.


  109. 385
    Gordon Brown's Greatest Fan says:

    Prescott didn’t make it but Paddy Tipping (he of the dodgy mortgage & expense claims) did get elected as Plod commissioner in Nottingham.

    It is almost surreal that someone that showed such a lack of judgement and total disregard for the public purse
    a) has the brass neck to stand for election, and
    b) actually gets in!


    • 386
      Tachybaptus says:

      In Nottamun Town, not a soul to be seen,
      Not a soul would look up, not a soul would look down,
      To tell me the way to Nottamun Town.
      I bought me a horse, it was called a grey mare,
      Grey mane and tail, grey stripe on her back,
      Weren’t a hair upon her that wasn’t coal black.
      She stood so still, threw me to the dirt,
      She tore my hide, she bruised my shirt.
      From saddle to stirrup I mounted again,
      And on my ten toes I rode over the plain.
      When I got there no one did I see,
      They all stood around just looking at me.
      I called for a cup to drive gladness away,
      And stifle the dust, for it rained the whole day,
      And the King and the Queen and the company more,
      Came a-riding behind and a-walking before.
      Then a stark naked drummer a-beating a drum,
      With his hands in his bosom came marching along.
      Sat down on a hot, cold frozen stone,
      Ten thousand stood round me but I was alone,
      Took my hat in my hand to keep my head warm,
      Ten thousand was drowned that never was born.


    • 387
      Tachybaptus says:

      Mоddеd thе fіrst tіmе – thе bоt сlеаrlу dоеsn’t lіkе trаdіtіоnаl sоngs.

      Іn Νоttаmun Τоwn, nоt а sоul tо bе sееn,
      Νоt а sоul wоuld lооk uр, nоt а sоul wоuld lооk dоwn,
      Τо tеll mе thе wау tо Νоttаmun Τоwn.
      І bоught mе а hоrsе, іt wаs саllеd а grеу mаrе,
      Grеу mаnе аnd tаіl, grеу strіре оn hеr bасk,
      Wеrеn’t а hаіr uроn hеr thаt wаsn’t соаl blасk.
      Shе stооd sо stіll, thrеw mе tо thе dіrt,
      Shе tоrе mу hіdе, shе bruіsеd mу shіrt.
      Frоm sаddlе tо stіrruр І mоuntеd аgаіn,
      Аnd оn mу tеn tоеs І rоdе оνеr thе рlаіn.
      Whеn І gоt thеrе nо оnе dіd І sее,
      Τhеу аll stооd аrоund јust lооkіng аt mе.
      І саllеd fоr а сuр tо drіνе glаdnеss аwау,
      Аnd stіflе thе dust, fоr іt rаіnеd thе whоlе dау,
      Аnd thе Kіng аnd thе Quееn аnd thе соmраnу mоrе,
      Саmе а-rіdіng bеhіnd аnd а-wаlkіng bеfоrе.
      Τhеn а stаrk nаkеd drummеr а-bеаtіng а drum,
      Wіth hіs hаnds іn hіs bоsоm саmе mаrсhіng аlоng.
      Sаt dоwn оn а hоt, соld frоzеn stоnе,
      Τеn thоusаnd stооd rоund mе but І wаs аlоnе,
      Τооk mу hаt іn mу hаnd tо kеер mу hеаd wаrm,
      Τеn thоusаnd wаs drоwnеd thаt nеνеr wаs bоrn.


  110. 414
    Majorfrustration says:

    At first glance I thought it was Les Dawson


  111. 416
    cynic says:

    Where is Watson these days. He has gone very quiet after his Tory Paedo campaign collapsed. Is he chained up in Ed’s cellar where the butler can keep an eye on him and feed him on Newcastle Brown and the odd pack of crisps?


    • 442
      JH3 says:

      Someone has sat Tom down, and told him in no uncertain terms to STFU.

      Quite probably his own legal team.

      I think he is playing on the idea that people think he is ‘working’ on something, and will surprise us all.

      In fact, I think he will try to never mention his little pa3dofinder general period again.


  112. 421
    Lizzie says:

    Many onthe left are rushing to claim that since turnout in the PCC elections was so low therefore those elected lack a democratic mandate. Do they extend the same argument to the Manchester Central MP who was elected on a similarly low turnout? If not, why not?


  113. 423
    Anonymous says:

    Ho ho ho! happy Christmas tax and rate payers. At least porky wont be getting his snout even further in the public trough. Bet he was pissed. Surprised he didn’t deck the winner!


  114. 430
    Ehtch says:

    Back to croquet then John, ey?


  115. 431
    Eborgleve says:

    Big turn out in Humberside – over 19% – they wanted to make sure ‘Prezza’ didn’t do any more free loading.


  116. 435
    Reverend Ian Paisley. says:



  117. 438
    old grumpy says:

    Like Mates, Prescott was campaigning a false objective. Our Policing System might benefit from some updating but not a root and branch overhaul.

    No issue. No campaign………… a dying political fart!


  118. 447
    More Cheese says:

    Ha ha ha. Hunt.


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Find out more about PLMR

Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”

Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!

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