November 16th, 2012

BREAKING: Prezza Knocked Out


  1. 1
    gramma says:

    There is a god.

  2. 2
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    Would you believe I’m glad.

  3. 3
    keredybretsa says:

    Couldn’t have happened to a nicer fella!

  4. 4
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    As for Corby, in 2010 the electorate put their faith in Cameron, and he repaid them with lies.

    They were not going to fall for it again.

  5. 5
    Hugh Janus says:

    Excellent news! Add to that the fact that the Grauniad will not be paying Moonbat’s libel costs, and Sally the Alley is going to have to cough up the cash before long – not a bad week all told!

  6. 6
    restore the monasteries says:

    there is a God.!!!

  7. 7
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    And the Lib Dems losing their deposit. We DO have a democracy

  8. 8
    IDF says:

    Amid the rockets and the bombs Israeli soldiers prepare for battle… by posting pictures on Instagram

  9. 9
    Pleased as punch says:

    He smacks people in the mouth. He is corrupt, he is sleazy and he is over the hill.

    Time to put him out to grass with Margaret Beckett.

  10. 10
    The British Public says:

    Hoorya. Victory of ommonsense over this oaf

  11. 11

    This is something that everyone from every party (and none) can join together in rejoicing.

  12. 12
    Vazoline says:

    Such a pity. Lord Prescott is an upstanding gentleman of the highest integrity like me.

  13. 13
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    This is becoming annoying – as a confirmed atheist I have to say yet again ‘so there is a god’. Now let’ a hope the fat slug just effs off.

  14. 14
    Newbie says:

    Ahhhhhhhh. It couldn’t happen to a bigger twat.

  15. 15
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Much joy in the land, all rejoice.

  16. 16
    People of Humberside says:

    We have spoken. Fireworks, dancing and celebrations tonight. The fat pig of Mount Temple is out

  17. 17

    Result not announced yet?

  18. 18
    Scamp The Excitable Dog says:

    Some people DID actually vote for him though.
    This is the bit I’m having trouble getting my head around.

  19. 19
    PrezzaOut says:

    Good riddance to a proper cnut

  20. 20
    Breton says:

    If that’s a silver lining I’m a Christmas bauble.

  21. 21
    Cressida's Dick says:

    The good people of Humberside who finally worked out the lardarse, violent, secretary shagging, expense fiddling, waste of oxygen, give yourselves a pat on the back and a long cool drink tonight.

    We salute you.

  22. 22
    jgm2 says:

    Breaking news on BBC live results..

  23. 23
  24. 24
    Blair's Broadcasting Corporation says:

    We shall be playing solemn music for the rest of today.

    Leo Blair, the father of the former Labour prime minister Tony Blair, has died at the age of 89

    Mr Blair was an academic whose jobs included lecturing in law at the Universities of Adelaide and Durham.

    He was chairman of his local Conservative association but had to abandon his ambition of becoming an MP when he suffered a stroke in the 1960s.

    Tony Blair named his youngest son, born while he was in Downing Street, after his father.

  25. 25
    1984 says:

    Breaking news on BBC live results..

  26. 26
    Tron says:

    This is the only result I wanted today.
    Prezza is a pig.
    On second thoughts I like pigs, he’s a slug.

  27. 27
    1984 says:

    That and the Corby by-election victory should keep news of John Prescott’s defeat off the front page.

  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    Those who voted for Prescott were tribal voters. Not interested in the well being of their area’s.

  29. 29
    post hoc says:

    Oh joy, oh bliss – thank you Santa!

  30. 30
    post hoc says:

    Succinct, but true.

  31. 31

    The difference between nice and nasty:

    Alistair McAlpine did not blame Steve Messham for wrongly identifying him as his abuser. Lord McAlpine also recognised that to claim huge damages from the BBC would only rebound on the licence fee payer. Here is an example of a nice person acting under huge stress and still keeping a sense of proportion.

    Sally Bercow, may not have accused Lord McAlpine of abusing but she snarkily bandied his name about. When it became apparent she was mistaken, she made a very half hearted retraction (cp. George Monbiot) and she even went on to niggle about whether or not she had defamed him at all. No apology for the hurt that she had played such a part in heaping upon Lord McAlpine. Here is an example of a nasty person acting without care for who she steps on.

    Presumably because Lord McAlpine was from the other party, any nastiness from her is justified collateral.

  32. 32
    Selohesra says:

    Could I have a mop please & a new pair of boxers

  33. 33
    Tuscan Tony says:

    I had no idea Eric Pickles was running.

  34. 34
    John of Hull says:

    I’m gutted – I’m empty – give us chips chips and more chips – I’ve got a hole ter fill up!

  35. 35
    Result in says:

    Prescott lost

    Grove won!!!!!!

  36. 36
    taC eht abbaJ says:


  37. 37
    Scamp The Excitable Dog says:

    Shame it wasn’t via an illegal air strike, infact, shame it wasn’t via an illegal air strike 60 fucking years ago.
    Feels good doesn’t it Tone?…You’re now a member of a club you’ve made hundreds of thousands of people join by force.

  38. 38
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Not a good day for criminals in Surrey. New PCC is Kevin Hurley representing the Zero Tolerance party.

    Tasers out!

  39. 39
    Shocked of Sheen says:

    Hear hear.

  40. 40
    nellnewman says:

    He’ll be very sad to have missed out on an other £70k a year.

  41. 41
    1984 says:

    Even more bitter for Prescott (and Labour) is that he wasn’t beaten by some independent but by the Tory candidate (if BBC breaking news is correct).

    Hilarious. Old John will have already pencilled in all his mates/sons for the various roles. Earmarked the various Tory councillors he was going to go after on trumped up charges. Already mentally spending all his planned ‘expenses’ and PCC salary.

    All gone. **** POOF ****.


  42. 42
    *gulp* says:

    So, libdems lose their deposit, sally bercow humiliated, and prezza not in line for more pies.
    Not too bad a end to the week imho

  43. 43
    Shocked of Sheen says:

    Rather unkind methinks.

  44. 44
    I´m stark bollock naked says:

    Fuck me!!!!!

  45. 45
    1984 says:

    I laughed so much my socks got drenched.

  46. 46
    Kyoto says:

    As they say

    All political careers eventually end in failure.

  47. 47
    It would have saved the world says:

    Why no contraception?

  48. 48
    Winnie the Pooh says:

    Sing-a-long @ PeezaPig.

  49. 49
    taC eht abbaJ says:


  50. 50
    From the dyslexic Santa says:

    Oh! Oh! Oh!

  51. 51
    Julian The Wonderhorse says:

    I am going up this weekend. A Tory back in Hull. Wilberforce is back!

  52. 52
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Hysterical ain’t it? To be beaten by the Indy would have been bad enough for the git but in the last contest of his political career he is beaten by the object of all his hate, bile and spite. A Conservative.


  53. 53
    taC eht abbaJ says:

    Many people voted in ZaNuLab more than once, which only goes to show human stupidity knows no bounds…

  54. 54
    Blair is an evil cunt says:

    Leo Blair, the father of the former Labour prime minister Tony Blair, has died at the age of 89

    A spokesman for Mr Blair said “Tony’s very saddened but he won’t be able to cancel his current engagements at 5 star hotels to attend the funeral.

  55. 55
    one man with two votes says:

    So the liberals’ PR thingy does have a use then.

  56. 56
    Nowt too bad for Tone says:

    - 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

  57. 57
    Dave Lee Haggis says:


  58. 58
    Bob Double Diamond Standard says:

    He can still dress up and play cops and robbers at home. “I’m arresting you Pauline on suspicion of “..”no John you bloody well are not….”

  59. 59
    1984 says:

    In Prescott’s case it started in failure, dipped into abject failure, was rewarded with a peerage and has finally bungee-jumped off the Victoria Falls Bridge of failure.

  60. 60
    Scamp The Excitable Dog says:

    Bollocks is it unkind, you lily livered Commie…I hope Blair’s whole family die screaming in agony right in front of him.

  61. 61
    1984 says:

    Loving Guido’s Twit-pic. If looks could kill.

  62. 62
    G....weedo P..................e.e.d.o. says:

    Send cock.

  63. 63
    Jimmy Saville says says:

    Now then, now then…

  64. 64
    harm rattie says:

    “That’s John for you .”

  65. 65
    Anonymous says:

    + 100

  66. 66
    Blair is an evil cunt says:

    Leo Blair was chairman of his local Conservative association but had to abandon his ambition of becoming an MP when he suffered a stroke in the 1960s.

    Tony Blair said he was “privileged to have him as a Dad”.

    “He was a remarkable man. He did whatever I asked of him, because he knew if he didn’t, he’d have to take a walk down Harrowden Hill.”

  67. 67
    Mrs Thatcher says:

    I enjoyed having you at chequers every christmas, Mr Saveloy. Woop woop!

  68. 68
    Winnie the Pooh says:

  69. 69
    Maggie says:

    Rejoice, Rejoice.

  70. 70
    Gayboy Fawkes c.2010 says:

    Tony Blair – My Hero!

    p.s. – i’m not gay of course.

  71. 71
    fruitcake says:

    Pickles running? There’s a very graphic idea.

  72. 72
    A slug responds ... says:

    What about us slugs?

  73. 73
    1984 says:

    Have a look at Guido’s Twit-pic. If looks could kill.


  74. 74
    Marmite says:

    Just heard Presclot congratulating the tory winner. Talk about sour grapes! That b@st@rd should join BLiar’s dad as soon as possible.

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    lol – that is all

  76. 76
    Weygand says:

    The turnout shows that the election was actually decided by the”Anyone but you-know-who” factor.
    Labour cooked their own rather lardy goose in selecting Prezza as their candidate.

  77. 77
    JP4P45 says:

    Off you fuck.

  78. 78
    Black Cab says:

    Rejoice, rejoice, rejoice!

  79. 79
    I´m stark bollock naked says:

    And the horse I rode in on!

  80. 80
    Pitchfork. says:

    Face like a slapped arse.

  81. 81
    Fishy says:

    She’s now suggesting that her troubles are about her being on the wrong side of people’s agendas.

  82. 82

    There has never been a more useless appointment to Westminster. And certainly not one that achieved such high office.

    When one considers his lardship was up against the likes of Harman, Opik, Gummer, Clegg, Teather, Flint, Blears, Archer, Watson, the Hamiltons, Heath, Morrison Williams, Castle Currie and Cable his achievement can only be all the greater.

  83. 83
    fruitcake says:

    Loser, oh that long face, what a smacked puppy he is…now f*ck*ng retire.

  84. 84
    1984 says:

    That AV thing didn’t work out quite as well for them as they’d hoped. There were lots of people elected who weren’t Labour or Tory. It’s just that (so far) NONE of them are Liberal.

    Funnier and funnier.

  85. 85
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    You just hanging about again?

  86. 86
    GrumpyG says:

    If looks could kill: it could not happen to better bloke, now get back to the wilderness.

  87. 87
    Bill says:

    monbiot is not about to realise that the guardian is not willing to back him and he will have to face the full legal costs as well.

    Mrs bercow is about to realise that her tweet could be expensive as well as competely ruin any political career she might have as the possibility of being convicted for libel is not a good start for a politician. It could also cost eventually her husband his job as both sides of the house decide his not worth it.

  88. 88
    IMHO says:

    Money well spent after all then (£100 million), some truth in the saying that you can fool some people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time. The sight of John Prescott being filmed going for a celebratory banquet dinner at Mr Wu’s accompanied by police outriders and patrol cars with flashing blue lights would have been just too much to bear.

  89. 89
    Col Nut says:

    Mine’s a gin and tonic.

  90. 90
    Jimmy says:

    You all seem a bit cranky today for some reason.

  91. 91
    God says:

    I haven’t finished with the fat Hoon just yet.

  92. 92
    nellnewman says:

    Some wilderness!! – don’t forget he still has the HoL to keep funding his lavish lifestyle!!

  93. 93
    1984 says:

    And certainly not her being on the wrong side of the agenda?

  94. 94
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Then sanity made a comeback Fatboy.

  95. 95
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    No, it’s just because she is a prat, scrounging off the tax payer, and a generally shitty piece of work. Both of the Bercows are so far up their own arses they don’t realsie how much the public despise them.

  96. 96
    Bill says:

    ha ha you only tolk a lordship to please your wife, despite not liking to house of lords.

  97. 97
    Bunboys says:

    Ginsters in trouble.

  98. 98
    Hattie Harman says:

    I enjoyed working for PIE, helping them in their goal to abolish the age of consent and make what Jimmy Savile did perfectly legal.

    How sad I failed.

  99. 99
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    As long as they don’t put him out to stud with her.

  100. 100
    Universal Hiss says:

    I hope this vile woman carries on like this. The bill she will be facing just keeps going up.

  101. 101
  102. 102
    1984 says:

    Apparently he hasn’t lost an election since the 1960′s.

    That’s why it’s called a ‘safe seat’ John.

    Or was.

    Ahahahahahaha. [changes socks] ahahahahaha.

  103. 103
    Swiss Bob says:

    Ha Hah!

  104. 104
    Cressida's Dick says:

    The only negative being that it cost £100m to settle his hash once and for all.

  105. 105
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    And if you did vote for the fat nazi, go poison yourself.

  106. 106
    Australian, New Zeeland, Irish etc Emigrationwatch says:

    We are not in agreement!

  107. 107
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    Could Ummuna tell us why Prescott didn’t win. Ummuna spouts about everything so I’m sure he will be able to tell us.

  108. 108
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    Is there one of the labour shadow cabinet that you wouldn’t want to smack in the face?

  109. 109
    Engineer says:

    Bl**dy hell! It’s Les Dawson!

  110. 110
    Anonymous says:

    good that wibblewobble pizza is no more.
    Hate is in…from websites, to wibblewobble chef’s and ultra.trim £150m transfer fee footballer. who h.ate my hamster?!

  111. 111
    Lard Pressclott - Laughing Policeman in waiting says:

    I’ll have to go back to my previous moniker – Lard Pressclott of Beams, Bellies, Banjos, Bulimia, two Jags & Shags.

  112. 112
    Engineer says:

    So they voted Labour!?!?!?

  113. 113
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    With Prescott down, and hopefully the Bercows many thousands of pounds lighter, I will gladly give labour Corby.
    Bercow’s resignation as Speaker would be the icing on the cake. Have it

  114. 114
    Anonymous says:

    Oh pleeeeeeeeeease!

  115. 115
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    And yet you are a loser Prescott.

  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    when the father dies, the man arrives.
    time for bambi to growup.
    he has as yet to atone.

  117. 117
    dunstall says:

    Did Jonah campaign for him?

  118. 118
    Lord Mooncrater says:

    Err, that should be, “Breaking propaganda on the BBC…”

    A bunch of fucking benefit parasites.

  119. 119
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside (with a view towards 99% white N. Wales) says:

    I can hear the angels singing.

  120. 120
    Cressida's Dick says:

    And in other news another political arsehole, Michael Mates, lost his battle to be PCC for Hampshire. I’m beggining to warm to this PCC election idea. A good vehicle to build up the hopes of these people and then let the electorate shat on them.

  121. 121
    Engineer says:

    If the caravan’s rockin’, don’t come knockin’.

    Best to take steps, actually. Large ones for preference.

  122. 122
    IDF says:

    Shame on CNN and BBC! Journalism my rear end!

  123. 123
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    No, but I did. That may have just tipped it.

  124. 124
    Bugler Bert says:

    It also proves that Clegg is even more stuoid than his namesake in “Last of the Summer Wine”

  125. 125
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside (with a view towards 99% white N. Wales) says:


  126. 126
    50 Calibre says:

    Best news for a long, long time. Lord Lardarse out on his fat arse. Bet the Humberside Bobbies are ecstatic tonight. That will put a spring in their step…

  127. 127
    green ink says:

    spot on moniker

  128. 128
    1984 says:

    Indeed. Independents elected all over the shop.

    Maybe the voters will get a taste for it.

  129. 129
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    He wont fuck off though, hell be looking for where he can impose his fat ugly mush for more troughing. He’s always pushed himself up front, with no regard for anybody . . I know an old ex docker who remembers what he was like in the old days, he was a greedy shit then.

  130. 130
    IDF says:

    Last attack .. 3 brothers from Abu Jalalah family,among them a high ranked Al-Qassam leader .

  131. 131
    Anonymous says:

    abramovitch paid 850m to get rid of his rubbish. He called it buying his freedom.
    freedom from rubbish costs,

  132. 132
    50 Calibre says:

    One day Dave and his daftarse mates in the Westminster bubble will realise what really matters to the electorate. Regrettably it will be much too late. Emigrate while there’s still somewhere to go and/or somewhere that will let you in from the remains of Once Great Britain…

  133. 133
    Engineer says:

    One thing to come out of this is that I now have a little respect for Monbiot. His tweet was stupid, but at least he had the decency to accept that he’d goofed off and apologised fully in writing. The guy clearly has some decency and human feeling.

    I suspect that as a result, McAlpine will reduce the settlement he’ll seek from Monbiot, and of course the costs will be much less. Points that La Bercow might ponder upon.

  134. 134
    Rufus Stone says:

    So Hog Boss lost! Good.

  135. 135
    Humberside voter says:

    Do yew now, tha fur all theys yars I been thinking that puttin’ me ‘X’ by John Prescott’s name meant ‘I don’t like this ‘ere won.’

    Now its been explained to me I’m finally rid of tha lardy dah ermine pig man.
    Good riddance to bad roobbish

  136. 136
    Guyz an galz says:

    Was the stroke courtesy of Jimmy $aville?

  137. 137
    Anonymous says:

    if he did blame steve messham, then we could get to the bottom of why Steve Messham was apparently misdirected.

    a distance is being created from the truth.

  138. 138
    Chuka Umunna says:

    Simple — Thatcher.

  139. 139

    Quite so Gulp.

    And Dave got a fair whack on his arse too. All in all a very good night to pour a glass of wine and watch Newsnight.

  140. 140
    poor but not a chav says:

    The girl in the third photograph is my IDF princess

  141. 141
    Prescott's chipolata says:

    I’m feeling very shriveled.

  142. 142
    Lard Pressclott of Beams, Bellies, Banjos, Bulimia, two Jags & Shags. says:


  143. 143
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Dave getting a mauling only adds to the delight. Good day all round.

  144. 144
    Living in 99% white North Wales) (does not include sheep) says:

    Hey less of the commie. Blair was more Tory than Scameron.

  145. 145
    Tachybaptus says:

    Well, Jimmy, I live in London so I didn’t have to vote for any of these straw men, so I am full of calme, luxe et volupté.

  146. 146
    Bill /Quango MP says:

    I’m on 100% mod?
    Why is that?

  147. 147
    The Libor party says:

  148. 148
    outrageous says:

    so now the fat Hunt just continues to feed his fat fucking face from the trough in the Lords…

  149. 149
    Gooey Blob says:

    The road to Downing Street may run through Corby, but not if Ed Miliband is driving.

  150. 150
    Jimmy says:

    I hope you’re not feeling left out. Perhaps Dave Gimmick should have come up with some toytown elections just for the capital.

  151. 151
    Prezza says:

    “Hm… he edible?”

  152. 152
    Your letter was only the start of it says:

    I have it on good authority that Prezza once buggered a goat

  153. 153
    Jimmy says:

    Since the 60s eh?

    That’ll come as a shock to Tony then.

  154. 154
    outrageous says:

    sorry Farage made now mention of PIE on Quetion Time last night as that horrendous woman was spouting her pious bollocks

  155. 155
    Leo Blair says:

    “Let’s have an early night, Hazel.”

    ……..EPIC FAIL

  156. 156
    Prescott Watch says:

    What a cheery way to end the week. A nice touch that Prescott got more first preference votes, but was then beaten to the job courtesy of that 2nd preference nonsense that the Lib Dems love so much. Also did anyone ask Prescott how he could crediby expect to oversee the Police with his own record of expenses-fiddling and Council – Tax forgetting?

  157. 157
    Ho fun and pad prik says:

    Prescott’s local chinese will do big business tonight. He’ll comfort eat over his failure, which will mean ordering the entire menu.

  158. 158
  159. 159
    Gooey Blob says:

    I hear that Eric Pickles, Lord Prescott and Diane Fatbot had a competition to see who had the saggiest boobies.

    Apparently, Diane wiped the floor with them.

    …I’ll get me coat.

  160. 160
    Fishy says:

    Very good. Quote of the day.

  161. 161
  162. 162
    Fat arse presclot says:

    Please can someone tweet with a hash tag


  163. 163
    Legal Landlord says:

    You can’t be convicted of libel as it is a civil rather then criminal matter .

  164. 164
    Stan says:

    Agreed, even though Monbiot is, at bottom, a weapons-grade narcissist. He seems to have a bit of breeding, unlike Mrs B.

  165. 165
    I'm,(now), a believer says:

    I used to be an agnostic, but now I’m not sure ? I did pray to whatever Gods there were that this pig wouldn’t get his nose in any more troughs…asnd it worked !!

  166. 166
    Stan says:

    ** claps hands and rubs them together in anticipation **

  167. 167
    John Prescott sings Britney Spears says:

    Give me a sign
    Hit you baby, one more time

  168. 168
    Janitor J says:

    hmmm…….. no longer need to reinforce the station shitter

  169. 169
    XXX says:

    More like mission impossible

  170. 170
    The times they are a changing says:

    Until the judiciary are sorted out , it doesn’t matter who wins the plod vote and sics plod onto the criminals, nothing will happen apart from loads of money paid to lawyers.

  171. 171
    A slime mould says:

    I’m available for similes and bar-mitzvahs.

  172. 172
    Phillip says:

    Found after just 3 minutes searching the interweb thingy

  173. 173 says:

    Only an idiot would vote for Labour. The party that always fucks up the British economy.

  174. 174
    Mr C Huhne says:

    I have much the same trouble with MY satnav.

  175. 175
    Expat Geordie says:

    I quite fancy that ginger sergeant. Can’t quite see her face but, you know, you can just tell…

    Hope that they all come home safe.

  176. 176
    A Hampshire resident says:

    If I’d known Mates was standing I’d have bothered to wobble down to the polling station to vote for somebody else.

    He turned up at our village hall years ago in electioneering mode, gave a speech saying what a shite Blair is, etc., etc., then there was a Q&A, at the end of which his handler said “Are there any more questions?”

    “Yes,” I said, “are you still in touch with Asil Nadir?”

    Didn’t go down too well.

  177. 177
    Dixie says:

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Good

  178. 178 says:

    Prestwat has just been arrested for wasting police time.

  179. 179
    Anonymous says:

    Labour told lies for 13 years and still the muppets vote for them !

  180. 180
    Anonymous says:

    HoL is odd.
    Does it make sense to have members in the house who live abroad (McAlpine in Italy and Ashcroft in Belize).
    other ppl like dual passport holder boris has the same issue.

    stay in this country with a legal status to reflect this or go.

  181. 181
    XXX says:

    B’Liar’s rule was even more right wing than John Major-Ball, the Lieborites never raiseed a muff, they were so pleased to be in power. During his his the rule the Tories were very slow to pickup on the build up of debt and bankers shenanigans, mind they had a selection of leaders between 1997 and 2005

  182. 182
    XXX says:

    He thinks has done no wrong, therefore nothing to atone for

  183. 183
    Bogeyman says:

    Can’t believe there’s so little comment on UKIP. They whipped LibDem arse in many constituencies and are neck and neck with them on the total vote.

  184. 184
    Expat Geordie says:

    Leo Blair worked in Sierra Leone in the 1960’s. There was a belief at the time of our military intervention there in 2000 that this was the sole reason that British forces were sent. However, if you ever want to look up the definition of a “just war” then look at Sierra Leone. It is the one thing that Blair did right. Unfortunately it gave him the taste for war.

  185. 185
    Expat Geordie says:

    A Tory winning in Humberside!

    As the old song goes, “The times they are a changin'”.

  186. 186
    Guns blazing says:

    Action fans. If you like good old fashioned violent shoot em ups, tune into Under Siege 2 tonight on E4 to see Steven Seagal back when he was lean and not the fatso he is now.

  187. 187
    XXX says:

    Let’s be fair so would we all, unless you are one of the fortunates for whom £70,000 means nothing

  188. 188
    Anonymous says:

    Tony Blair’s appearance in Hull to canvas for Prescott did the lardy no good. Thanks be for the good sense of region’s electorate to vote for a conservative.
    A little conundrum now- Do people vote labour because they are poor or are they poor because they vote labour.? Cannot help noticing that deprivation is in the Labour territories Why is this?

  189. 189
    Blurred says:

    I do hope Leo Blur died a painless and natural death and didn’t get the Harrowden Hill treatment from Tone. I wouldn’t put it past St Tony to do that to his own dad. Yes, I’m being very facetious and cruel, but Blair’s a piece of excrement, and his dad at least lived a long life.

  190. 190
    Wun Hung-lo says:

    His Lawdship eat us out of house and home evvy time he come in. He come in, we shut down to otha patron. No pwoblem him paying. He gonna put on House of Lawd expenses anyhow. Maybe see maw of him now. Still, was looking fowud to banquet business fwom police depawtment if Big John elected, even though have to pay bung to get it. Make it up on volume from man himself.

  191. 191
    Fat arse presclot says:

    RT @Iain_31: only 1 red blob in the south Yvette – you’re not a 1 nation party

  192. 192
    Engineer says:

    It isn’t compulsory to turn up just because they have the title. It would be very crowded indeed if they all turned up together.

    The only problem arises when ones that don’t turn up still claim anyway.

  193. 193
    Expat Geordie says:

    Trouble is the “Independent” elected in Dorset is a former Sussex copper who is in hock to the local slum landlord (and convicted criminal) and supports a charity that brings addicts down here for “rehab” and a Housing Benefit subsidised room in one of said slum landlords properties.

  194. 194
    XXX says:

    They should look to the countries where they pay their taxes or reside, why should the UK armed forces have to go rescue them when things get nasty, there a lot of dangerous places abroad

  195. 195
    JWil says:

    So much for Prezza’s self-belief. It appears that their a few who have any belief in him.

    He has had a good enough run and should put his feet up and GET OFF OUR SCREENS.

  196. 196
    N.E. Pie Salesman says:

    My business has now collapsed with this massive lose of trade.

  197. 197
    Anonymous says:

    I can’t hep it but I have returned about twenty times this evening to look at Guido’s pictures of Lardy Prescott. I want to impress them on my memory so that whenever I have a bad day, my face will light up in a big grin every time I recall them.Life is good.

  198. 198
    Living in 99% white North Wales) (does not include sheep) says:

    So the new nuclear submarine is a crock of shit, rusting faster than a 1985 Yugo.
    British Aerospace – perpetual sucking at the taxpayer’s teat?

  199. 199
    Fishy Fingers she's over sixteen says:

    Almost as good as fish finger of the day.

  200. 200
    john in cheshire says:

    You can’t make a silk purse out of a sows ear.

  201. 201
    Fishy Fingers she's over sixteen says:

    And the Tory’s steal from the UK.

  202. 202
    Tom Watson says:

    Thank god he lost! I retain my title as fattest tosser in the party!

  203. 203
    Silent Brian says:


  204. 204
    Anonymous says:

    we will differ.
    father has gone as it is time for the son to growup.
    the loss of the father will be a shock to the system.

    tone is one of life’s stubborn mules.
    Only a great shock and a release (i.e the death of the father) will awake him from his naivity.

    who will he replace his father with?

    So far he has been earthbound….it has not delivered what he wants…peace (sadly by any means). The shock of his father’s death will spiritualise the materialistic man. He needs to do something global. I expect him (although you may not like this) to create a backdrop for global mysticism. so forget catholicism, the man is gonna go global. There is no other way all his needs can be met.

  205. 205
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    who ate all the pies?

  206. 206
    The BBC are cnuts says:

    Old habits die hard…………….

  207. 207
    concrete cunt says:

    a very big distance

  208. 208
    Quite Tory says:

    How fantastic to see a prime cock like Prescott lose! Priceless

  209. 209
    Parent of two with P45 says:

    Look on the bright side, we can now afford to feed our families now the prices of pies has fallen.

  210. 210
    every fuckin picture tells a fucking story says:

    and the story here is . . . . . something or someone is gonna get a good seeing-to tonight

  211. 211
    Anonymous says:

    why is it not compulsory to turn up.
    if they do not turn up, how can they be expected to show competence.

    is government legislation not important for them? in any case, if they cannot even show loyalty to the country by being resident here or giving up on foreign interests, then no wonder the ruling class is disloyal. Disloyalty will cost a lot more than the cost of daily attendence allowance.

  212. 212
    I'll drink to that! says:


  213. 213
    Anonymous says:


  214. 214
    I'll drink to that! says:

    Is there a statement from the goat?

  215. 215
    Anonymous says:

    and that is the distance between us and reality.
    Do we live in a make belief world. is reality so terrifying?

  216. 216
    Lard Pissclot says:

    I won’t be standing in any more elections. The voters have finally realised that I’m just a fat useless prick and they won’t vote for me anymore. However,I will still be appearing on the BBC to give my opinions on all and sundry.

  217. 217
  218. 218
    Red Egg Millitit..... says:

    That is £80,000.00 worth of pies he will not be eating :)

  219. 219
    Pitchfork. says:

    Pity tony blair had not died, it could not happen to a nicer person, when he does I will be drinking champagne.

  220. 220
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Anyone know how much ‘Aunty Beeb’ is paying fatty Wogan to present CIN?

  221. 221
    Tracey says:

    Can I do anything to comfort you John?

  222. 222
    Anal Discharge says:

    Me I,am over the moon that detestable creature is out.

    So happy in fact I just had a mega dump to celebrate.

    Let the Lard come an eat shite.

  223. 223
    Fog on the Tyne says:

    Can’t be any worse than back here on Tyne – we’ve got that fucking appalling
    Baird woman.

  224. 224
    Hang The Bastards says:

    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

    Fat F.U.C.K …. no toughinging here piggy…. move along

  225. 225
    Prescott's evil glare says:

    We already know the truth.

    The BBC and left wing tosspots all over the shop saw ‘Tory’ + ‘Paedophile’ +’Thatcher’ and decided to fill in their own blanks because it was too good an opportunity to pass up. That’s why no checks were done..they were drunk and high on the prospect of destroying the Consrervative Party forever.

  226. 226
    Anal Discharge says:

    There is nothing straiter than a bent copper. Corruption rules…

  227. 227
    Twizzle says:

    Is that the new euphemism, now that “gay” has become pejorative?

  228. 228
    C'mon get Jimmy says:

    It was just a cuddle! A cuddle I tell you!

  229. 229
    Lightbulb says:

    I belive that if she is bankrupted she would be precluded from being an MP

  230. 230
    Anon says:

    Deep joy !!!

  231. 231
    Twizzle says:

    Don’t bogart that joint, man.

  232. 232
    dunstall says:

    This woman will be trouble mark my words and all those plod who have undermined the coalition are in for a very rude awakening wathc out for appointing Labour troughers ,there maybe trouble ahead……count on it

  233. 233
    Tony Ben's will says:

    Keep them poor keep them voting labour

  234. 234
    Tony Ben's will says:

    Can I come back to you on that one?

  235. 235
  236. 236
    Boris says:

    I won that one

  237. 237
    Rachel says:

    The BBC has issued an apology to Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sacks after he was asked about the Gaza situation while he thought he was off-air.

    The Buggering Boys Corp just can’t help it – can they!

  238. 238
    Faq Defano says:

    Absolutely marvellous news – made my day especially as the leftie twollops had so much (little) to crow about!

    Meanwhile, Ed Balls collects several hundred pounds in expenses…

    So does his awful chinless ‘wife’ (after Flanders had ‘drained’ him), and she just looked even more pathetic!

    Good day after all!

  239. 239
    TheBeast of Doggerbank says:

    Smallcock is part of the same clique of traitors that destroyed our fishing Indistry and the liveliehood of his constituents
    Get him, net him then drag the t£$t along the dogging banks
    Filthy fat disgusting perv
    Has he ever visited a childrens home ?

  240. 240

    Tracey Temple shagged that apparition at the top of the page.

    For Fuck’s sake!

  241. 241
    TheBeast of Doggerbank says:

    Is your R key faulty Mr 1984?

  242. 242
    Stan Stereason says:

    So, do you live in Corby?

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

  243. 243

    Didn’t know you posted on these pages, John.

  244. 244
    One Of Guido's Nasty Regulars says:

    Too busy mocking the afflicted, unfortunately. We all know that the disabled should get respect and should automatically get any job they apply for, but not in this case…. snigger.

  245. 245
    Stan Stereason says:

    But how much will he have to cough up then?

    It should be around £200,000 but maybe more.

    He’ll possibly lose his house, and that’s what you get for being an outstanding arsehole

  246. 246
    TheBeast of Doggerban says:

    And every man who ever has a ride afterwards will look into her eyes and remember that
    Her marriage chances are unlike her ex abuser slim

  247. 247
    Anonymous says:

    ‘It aint over ’till the fat pig scowls’

  248. 248
    Tony Ben's will says:

    Don,t forget that Alistair Campbell gets depression,that always cheers me up

  249. 249
    Ruskin College Oxford says:

    Mr Prescott was a student at our college this how he got his start in politics. He is our most famous and successful ex-student.
    How does he repay us for this?
    He doesn’t
    The ungrateful ugly lardarse.

  250. 250
    Pickled Wizard says:

    hah hah hah Hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah and indeed, Hah!

  251. 251
    Ruskin College Oxford says:

    Mr Prescott was a student at our college this how he got his start in politics.

    He is our most famous and successful ex-student.

    How does he repay us for this?

    He doesn’t

    The ungrateful ugly lardarse.

  252. 252
    I hope you're going to clean that up says:
  253. 253
    John says:

    Do I need wipe the goat shit off me cock first ?

  254. 254
    Living in 99% white North Wales) (does not include sheep) says:

    Children in Need over £10m so far.

    All credit to the BBC.

  255. 255
    Rhoda Borrocks says:

    Has Plescott rost his rittre brue pirrs ?

  256. 256
    Um . . . says:

    So he missed the Remedial English Course then?

  257. 257
    Um . . . says:

    Unnumbered Um . . . was in reply to #231 – Ruskin College

  258. 258
    N.E. Pie Salesman says:

    Who is not eating any pies anymore.

  259. 259
    Pickled Wizard says:

    +1 (and I’m sure, many more)

  260. 260
    Ruskin College Oxford says:

    Mr Prescott studied eating meat pies at Ruskin College Oxford and nothing else.

  261. 261
    Pervo says:

    What, like finger a sniff

  262. 262
    Camerloon - desperately searching for new career openings says:

    Does Ruskin need a PR guru to help them re-establish their meat pie trade?

  263. 263
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Once a fat bastard, always a……..

  264. 264
    Fishy Fingers she's over sixteen says:

    Me not a Corby local. Me live in Iceland but it’s bloody cold.

  265. 265
    Ruskin College Oxford says:

    Ruskin College needs to keep being loads of money and piss it away like every other Socialists organisation.

  266. 266
    Lou Scannon says:

    Can someone please tell me who is the arsehole responsible for these ludicrous PCC elections ?
    It’s blindingly obvious that the police should be politics-free if they’re ever to be respected and it’s also blindingly obvious that the electorate never wanted these elections. For the most part you’d just be voting for someone you knew nothing about other than the party with which they were associated.
    The whole exercise should be written off and no-one appointed, and it should never be repeated. It’s just been a colossal waste of money and achieved nothing other than making everyone involved look stupid.

  267. 267
    Well that's buggered up plans for tonight then! says:

    Just have to open a few more bottles

  268. 268
    Prime Cock???? says:

    Fat useless old boiler surely

  269. 269
    nellnewman says:

    It is the 16th Nov and suddenly my tv has started spewing out Xmas adverts. Couldn’t they have waited for 1st December? Its too early!!

  270. 270
    Ben Dover-Mendoza says:

    The price is right!!!

  271. 271
    NO! says:

    he should put heavy chains round his feet and jump in the ‘umber

  272. 272
    Nora Batty says:

    Is he the one in wellies ????

  273. 273
    nellnewman says:

    I suspect this is a libdem wetperson nonsense!!

  274. 274
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Like we care?….really??

  275. 275
    Expat Geordie says:

    Humberside ISN’T in the North East.

  276. 276
    Milly-Wanker says:

    with burnt Toast

  277. 277
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Start with Balls, then Mrs Balls, oh and then Balls again etc etc

  278. 278
    Expat Geordie says:

    When Brown dies 10 million pensioners will dance on his grave.

  279. 279
    Sir Barrington Minge says:

    Oh was it kiddy-fondling?

  280. 280
    Anonymous says:

    When he does I doubt the inheritence tax will be forthcoming despite his massive wealth. No doubt it’s all tied up in trusts & schemes “morally repugnant” but not illegal.

  281. 281
    Bogeyman says:

    Quite agree. I could hardly believe that it turned out to be a party-political election.

    That said, it did help me to avoid one particular box on the ballot paper.

  282. 282
    Bogeyman says:

    Of course they didn’t. It is of no interest to 10% of the population.

  283. 283
    I Hate the Cunts says:

    No-Mates an no-votes got the boot job done.

  284. 284
    Expat Geordie says:

    Just Googled her. This is part of her Wiki entry.

    “Thereafter, Baird was involved in many high profile cases at the bar, regularly defending in murders, robberies, drug cases, fraud and bribery cases at the Old Bailey and on appeal to the Court of Appeal and House of Lords. She also prosecuted in environmental cases for Greenpeace.”

    And SHE has been elected as PCC for Northumbria. Talk about poacher turn gamekeeper/ fifth columnists/ conflict of interest.

    You poor bastards.

  285. 285
    I Hate the Cunts says:

    Humberside Plod should go round an taser the fat fucker just to rub it in.

  286. 286
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    Sally Bercow and Tom Watson have gone very quiet. Not so brave now are they.
    How can John Bercow stay has speaker, has he no morals.

  287. 287
    I Hate the Cunts says:

    Hear Hear

  288. 288
    Expat Geordie says:

    Why the question mark? BAe treat the MoD budget as their own private kitty. We have the fourth largest defence budget in the world yet in Libya we could only use 8 Typhoons because we didn’t have enough pilots for them. And we had to get Tornadoes to target mark for them.

    And the Tornado fighter has a maximum ceiling of only 30,000 feet – that’s lower than a Battle of Britain era ME109!

    Yet Cameron wants us to set up a no-fly zone over bloody Syria. With what?

  289. 289
    I Hate the Cunts says:

    Gosh the thought of LardArse doing a 69, makes me feel very sick.

  290. 290
    The Voter says:

    You have your wish my son..

  291. 291
    terrytory says:

    PEARL says…

    Norman Clegg lives next to me and my pathetic husband – he’s the one with the hots for Marina.

  292. 292
    Walking shit heap Pickles. says:

    N.E.pie salesman. do you do deliveries ? I mean really massive ones?

  293. 293
    Expat Geordie says:

    My company are working some of the phones for Children in Need tonight. As I work in the non-call centre part of the office, my desk has been one of those comandeered for it. If it is anything like all of the previous times I’ll have a load of crap to clear up on Monday morning – right animals these call centre chickens. Suspect that thay might get a few abusive phone calls this year though.

    I don’t actually agree with it so when they come round our desks demanding money for it they tend to get a very short response and I tend to get into trouble.

  294. 294
    Anal Discharge says:

    Steven Seagal is not as hard as Lard Presscott, who can clear a curry house with on fart.!

  295. 295
    Tattooed_Arry says:

    I would have voted as would a hell of a lot of others here.
    The local police are a waste of time.
    I once reported (999) someone walking about on the street with a firearm. Children playing yards away.
    Seven hours later I was called back by the Police asking if he was still there….
    An elected PCC may do something positive here.
    I didn’t vote.
    No information whatsoever.
    Polling cards but nothing else whatsoever. Mickey Mouse could have been standing as far as we knew…
    Someone needs sacking over this fiasco.

    But no as usual lessons will be learned and all the same bollocks we hear everytime somethinf like this happens.

    Omnishambles? Piss up in brewery comes to mind.
    And this from a lifetime Tory supporter.

  296. 296
    Prezza's cocktail sausage says:

    SHunthorpe was Ohio apparently!!

  297. 297
    Hank the Cat says:

    I know so that max loon has asked to be buried at sea

  298. 298
    Walking shit heap Pickles. says:

    Read my earlier post i can single handedly save your business,in fact you will have to increase your staff and your ovens.

  299. 299
    Expat Geordie says:

    Disagree. Ian Blair said that he told his officers not to enforce certain laws, such as trespass, if he didn’t agree with them. He didn’t care what the public thought, they only paid his wages. If a publically elected individual, in touch with the public’s concerns about crime, is able to sack an un-elected twat like that and replace him with someone who will enforce the law, then it is surely a good thing.

  300. 300
    Anal Discharge says:

    To the music of Fats Walla

  301. 301
    Tattooed_Arry says:

    Totally agree.
    And while we’re on the subject can we have elected magistrates and judges too…
    Some of the clowns we have here defy belief.

  302. 302
    Roy Orbison says:

    It’s over, it’s over, it’s oh-ver…it’s oh-h-h-h-ver!

  303. 303
    Anonymous says:

    let ppl be.

  304. 304
    Alf Tupper,s brother Rammy. says:

    Alf Tupper did not have proper racing gear .He wore a mucky vest and stained underpants, he never took his working boots off but he always won all his races after a hard days work.

  305. 305
    Hank the Cat says:

    children and paeds you mean

  306. 306
    Your letter was only the start of it says:

    Sky News is reporting that the goat has now issued a statement saying that the man in the photo is most emphatically NOT the man attacked him. He apologizes to Lord Prezza and his family for any distress caused.

  307. 307
    Gonk says:

    Face like an arse that has been run over by a tractor, then slapped, then buried and dug up. Then kicked.

  308. 308
    Expat Geordie says:

    We had a council by-election in Poole so we got some PCC literature tacked onto the council stuff. Other than that though, nothing.

    Incidentally the Tory won the council election. Good woman – she works at the same place as me. Thing is she hasn’t moved into the ward yet as her house move fell through before the election was announced. The Limp Dim used this against her.

    Now the Limp Dim is a woman called Jenny Paton, who lives just behind me, and according to her election literature has lived there for 7 years. But three years ago she was in the national press (I think even Richard Littlejohn had an article about her) because Poole council had spied on her for three weeks because they thought that she had lied about where she lived to get her kids into a better school.

    Branksome East where she lives is actually near Bournemouth town centre (although classed as Poole) and the school was at Lilliput, near Poole town centre and three miles away. It is well outside the school catchment area. Now either she lied about her address to Poole council, or she lied in her election literature.

  309. 309
    Whoammi says:

    You could have posted it yourself old man.

  310. 310
    Ahhahu Ak-.... OOOPS! says:

    How fkn hilarious would it be if they hit their own “sacred” mosque there in Jooslan

  311. 311
    Sweeney, The says:

    Fuck off. That fat Hunt is like a shark with food. He doesn’t care if it’s edible, he’ll just carry on putting it in his cavernous maw.

  312. 312
    Anal Discharge says:

    It’s the new strategy ‘Eaton Mess’ all done to confuse the enemy. Always advise enemy in advance of tactics via BBC gobshites.

  313. 313
    nellnewman says:

    At the very least we have to be grateful that prezza has failed to get elected to a taxpayer post paying £70K pa plus expenses.

  314. 314
    Gobshite. says:

    As the oirishman said ‘I can,t help being aethiest, its the way god made me’

  315. 315
    Saffron says:

    News for today.
    1) Mr Ships waiter beaten in the libor Hull by a Con: horror of horrors.
    2) UKIP ahead of the LibDumbs.
    3)Beeboids drop another clanger Chief Rabbi is on air and does’nt know it.
    4)Lowest turnout for PCC elections since the 2nd world war,wavy davy on the rack once again.
    5) pantsdown now says we should pull out of Gan,not worth another soldiers life,well that took a long time must say.
    6)Lord McAlpine involved in libel actions against various organisations and people and quite rightly.
    7)Watsonian very quiet wonder why.
    8)Finally beeboids very reticent on the Hull elections,wonder why?.

  316. 316
    Tattooed_Arry says:

    My point above re: the firearm is just the tip of the iceberg here, and I might add I live in a seaside town in North Somerset. It’s not Ladbroke Grove or the Mozart Estate where I grew up. I’d have been happy to vote. But Guido would probably empathize here – whats the point of organising a rave if you won’t tell the punters who’s playing.

  317. 317
    Cinna says:

    They just can’t resist it can they, guys like him? Any and every opportunity to live of the backs of taxpayers. Nor satisfied with his payoff from the HOC and his sinecure from the HOL, he wanted another £70k (plus expenses) on top!

    He’s a greedy old b’stard, and there’s many more waiting in the wings.

  318. 318
    Expat Geordie says:

    Nell, I worked in retail in the mid 90’s, and we were putting Christmas stuff out in the middle of August. My ex and I had a little game to see who could spot the first Christmas ad on the telly. The definition of a Christmas ad being an ad for the Famous Grouse. I remember in 2001 she won when she spotted it on 8th July. I won the next year because it was first shown/spotted on 1st July. I remember this because we split up the next year, possibly due to a lack of excitement at home.

    If you can avoid childrens television it would appear that some sort of sanity has returned and over the past few years Christmas ads mave moved back to October/November.

  319. 319
    Cinna says:


  320. 320
    Fishy says:

    …and shagging his staff.

  321. 321
    Walking shit heap Pickles says:

    I have already said i will stand in for him on earlier posts,do keep up ah,r kid.

  322. 322
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    Shame Bliar didn’t go to Sierra Leone in 2000. He’d have lost a taste for war soon enough.

  323. 323
    not a machine reloaded says:

    Funny day at the 12 Mr Duggan was bouyant that a full Labour victory score card was imminent , by 6pm Ed had remained at the sofa .

    As one blogger has pointed out had it been FPTP prezza would have won .

    UKIP has best ever election result , Lib dems lose deposite and it would seem Labour just hoovered up there votes . Although still puzzled why you would vote Labour when it has no reliable manfesto or explantion of budget cuts , so Corby must have been a disinformation campaign ….

  324. 324
    Fishy says:

    BBC are carrying on about the low PCC turnout.

    OK, it wasn’t great but at least 5 million turned out. That’s 5 million more than were allowed to vote for the BBC DG or the Chairman of the BBC Trust


  325. 325
    Society. says:

    Ican emphasise with you, will be feeling exactly the same when there is a certain funeral.

  326. 326
    I eluded the Nonce Finder General! says:

    This is the ghost of Jimmy Savile, speaking you from beyond the grey veil of Death…

  327. 327
    Can you smell Mike Hunt says:

    Here in “ULL” Prescotts a Welsh import,a fuckin outsider. He’s not ‘Local’ Same as postman Pat ,Johnson, fuckin scrobs(foreigners to Hull folk)

  328. 328
    politelordjohn of trough says:

    I’ll strangle the barsteward he’s kept me from having my snout in two troughs.

  329. 329
    Expat Geordie says:

    I think that it will be taken more seriously the next time round. It’s new and has been badly organised. The PCC’s have little popular support at the moment but if things don’t improve in their patch then they are ultimately responsible for it and should carry the can at the next election.

    It’s like Ray Mallon, the Mayor of Middlesbrough, who reduced crime by 20% in his first year (or as he put it reduced it by 6000 victims), and is now on his third term. The new Northumbria PCC, Vera Baird, is a former Labour MP and right on lawyer. She will be a disaster and if Labour keep her on then she will lose in a traditional Labour area.

    Actually if played properly it looks like a clever long term plan to kick Labour out of their strongholds. Higher and rising crime rates under Labour PCC’s, followed by falling crime rates under Tory ones could break the Labour voting habit in these areas.

  330. 330
    Facefacts says:

    Or it could be one of the massive percentage of people who were not interested or who did not agree with it I do not think they are ‘libdem wetpeople. get real.

  331. 331
    EdButLookBalls says:

    Yeah then SW Trex, NE Whitecap, Lower Dripping and Mid-Lardshire!! FFS! You parasite!

  332. 332
    TheBeast of Doggerbank says:

    He didnt even rise to the dizzy rank of Waiter, he was a pot washer and bog mopper
    Well he mopped up after that Yank who spunlked a kid into Pauline before having that gentleman offed to an orphanage
    Pairt of them are just trash
    Sorry but that is an insult to the contents of my bin liner

  333. 333
    Harriet Harman says:

    Did someone mention PIEs?

  334. 334
    Expat Geordie says:

    I thought that he did got, and got a heroes welcome (or was that Kosovo?)

    Anyway, it went to his head.

  335. 335
    nellnewman says:

    So the story of the day is that labour’s prezza failed to get elected as police commissioner in a labour stronghold!!

  336. 336
    Expat Geordie says:

    Yeah, Brown’s.

  337. 337
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    To be honest guys and gals it’s not often that I have reason to rejoice but today has been pretty good.

    Call it naivety but I reckon the worm is starting to turn. It may just be voter apathy or just the realisation that they are all a bunch of filthy thieves but I have a distinct feeling that any members of the public with any sodding brains, are starting to wake up to the fact that the present showers of shite in Westminster have zero credibility and cannot be trusted full stop.

    Vote often and tell your mates.

  338. 338
    ha ha says:

    face like a bulldog liking p**s of a nettle

  339. 339
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Great day all round – it proves that there is an awakening to the bull5hit that ‘all’ politicians espouse [with so many spad fronts at arms length cum spokesman] – to deceive the masses. Yes we can forget at least half of the population who couldn’t give a F about anything – but the politicals better watch out for the rest of us – and the legals – and their days of earning shedloads behind the scenes in the compo culture that they promote – your days are numbered as well.

    As for the legions of ‘Leadership’ Common Purpose 5hit heads – oh dear oh dear oh dear … lawful retribution it just around the corner – perhaps on a lamp post!

  340. 340
    BodMot says:

    Judges seem to have very little wiggle-room in sentencing, it all seems to be decided by the “civil” “service”.

    Stimulate the economy by building prisons.
    1 Construction boom.
    2 Lower insurance costs.
    3 Lower policing bills.

  341. 341
    paddy says:

    She is agreat lass. I back her to the hilt, again.

  342. 342
    Anonymous says:

    Lord McAlpine is generous with Steve Messham but not others. why?
    If he is in the clear, then why take the money. rubbing ppl’s nose in it is also humiliating for them. He has also created panic.

    if all this is nice, then we all have a different reality.
    Managing twitter is not a business for a person who does not even use the internet. He could however return to the UK and sort out the child sexual abuse mess that we are deeply mired in.

  343. 343
    John Prescott says:

    I’m sickening about these mastications among you southern jessies about my politicising celebritea just becausse I lost doesn’t mean I lost the plot. In fart, I have a grate future as Ed Miliband has just conformed. Ed will next weak announce a new policing initiative, the Age of Chancers, in which I will be nominattings to tackle over policing matters including late night drinking and other things like grafatti and it is by using local common ideas that empower people that we will let the people decide about their communes through the Age of Chancers and this will underpinning the Sure Start and make a continuancing with Tony and Gordon’s previous policies and that’s what Ed is doing. It’s an excellent appointmunt, even if I say so myself which I do so here’s to the Age of Chancers and bollox to all you southern jessies.

  344. 344
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I watched another PIE salesman … oops sorry; saleswoman on Question Time on Thursday night – trying to steer to another course – the direct opposite course of the one she is publicly known to have previously supported – pleas edo step forward Harriet Harman.

    Harman is the woman who ‘signed off’ on many unfortunates being tagged unlawfully as vexatious litigants. Some of them yes are such but among the numbers are several who were not, are not, and never will be in the ennals of history.

    Fork-tongued lying lawyers have had their day. The truth is going to out. And Harman is ONE of the most guilty among their trade.

  345. 345
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Sir Minge Campbell and many of his Scottish advocate mates & friends have some questions to answer in that and other respects.

    You didn’t fool enough people Minge.

  346. 346
    notrabbieburnsorajock says:

    The best laid plans of mice and men are aft tae gan aglae.

  347. 347
    The public says:

    You lost, we won. Get over it.

  348. 348
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Quite so… Aren’t the muppets just dummies? [Socialist communist stoopid dummies – led and misled by the Marxist hands]

  349. 349
    The public says:

    I agree. The whole thing has been a farce. Moreover, some key local people at the grassroots level who know and care a lot about crime issues – local magistates – were barred from standing. No idea what the thinking behind that was.

  350. 350
    Blowing Whistles says:

    To legal Landlord – you appear to have been quite misled (or you are being mischievous) as to conviction – if as you posit; without going to far into conviction ‘and then prison’ – there are many people cum ‘dissidnts’ who have been locked up within the UK prison system on unmeritous grounds directly linked to libel. Are you a legal troll trying to deflect from many untruths? The unlawfully imprisoned are out there – and they are all coming together.

  351. 351
    Michael winnerLoser says:

    Calm dwn John calm down you should have went to specsavers.

  352. 352
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    Forgot to mention that here in the multicultural paradise of Luton, EDL and British Freedom candidate pulled in over 8K’s worth of votes, just a few off one of Cleggs useful idiots.

  353. 353
    albacore says:

    Drake had it easier with the Spanish Armada
    Than the meal that Dave’s making of Abu Qatada
    Ditto immigration, BBC and the E U
    Windmills, the debt mountain and these daft elections, too
    Will no-one else beat upon Sir Francis’s drum
    If the Tories ain’t gonna get rid of this bum?

  354. 354
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Macalpine has some deep thinking to do – like is he just a moneygrubbing compo culture vulture or is he going to address the main subject surrounding his new found wealth and scuttle off back to italy?

    Saying he’s hurt but ignoring the actual abuse endured by so many others is hypocrisy of the highest order.

    Get your finger out MaCalpine.

  355. 355
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside (with a view towards 99% white N. Wales) says:

    North Eastern port bombed was all the censor would allow during the Blitz. But everyone knew it was Hull.

  356. 356
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Sorry about the typo of his surname – its McAlpine.

    I’m going to re-read Sandra Uttley’s book Dunblane Uncovered again – and I hope McAlpine reads a copy of it some day soon!

  357. 357
    GDS says:

    Jus in bello

  358. 358
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I hope with all his newly acquired dosh McAlpine acquires a copy of Dunblane Unburied.

  359. 359
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Dun blane un buried.

  360. 360
    Rabbi Burns. says:

    Are you one of us or one of them? oy vey the noo

  361. 361
    A Pensioner says:

    She answered yes when asked “do you like Dick Tracey”?

  362. 362
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Apparently Conor Burns MP is regretting these PCC elections.

    With his involvement in the background [publicly seen documents] with the failed tory candidate in his region – someone at CCHQ better think again about Burns being on that committee he’s just been elected to sit on!!!

  363. 363
    Anonymous says:

    although there is noise to get troops out of afghanistan now, we are also being softened for sacrificing our troops in syria.

    our troops should be in the UK.
    when they are not their activities end up making ppl very rich. we really should value our lives more.

  364. 364
    Anonymous says:

    we are still sleep walking zombies. BBC and children. must never come together. and then we get all hysterical about child sexual abuse.
    do we care or do we like the sensation of caring. all feeling. no action.

  365. 365
    Walking shit heap Pickles. says:

    Could you please send me a copy of your menu? and do you do freight container deliveries? you know,like a skip at a time. yummy.

  366. 366
    Mr Nobody says:

    They’re not all that stupid though, many aspire to better themselves. My grandfather did. There will always be more working-class Tories than socialist millionaires.

  367. 367
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t speak too soon, Jimmy. Phillip Schofield is on your trail.

  368. 368
    Grantham. says:

    Not who i meant ,as you probably know.

  369. 369
    Prescott's evil glare says:

    Of course they voted for Labour. Labour is the party that lies but gives them free stuff. The conservatives are the party that lie but take all their free stuff away.

  370. 370
    Facefacts. says:

    If that consoles you ,lord know s you need it,myself I will just have to manage with three by election results,ah well.

  371. 371
    One Step Beyond says:

    You can stick a red (or indeed, blue) rosette on a pig or a parrot in some places, but even die-hard Labour voters would think twice before voting for Sally.

  372. 372
    Mr Nobody says:

    You can take somewhere between 25 and 30 percent of those who say they’ll vote Labour at the next election away from Labour’s poll figures and stick them straight on to the Tory total when the actual election comes.

    Those stats would change in the unlikely event that Labour decide to replace their leader.

  373. 373
    Anonymous says:

    According to Liam Byrne there was no money left for anyone to steal.

  374. 374
    Anonymous says:

    No, he said he could murder a chinese (set meal for four, extra prawn crackers).

  375. 375
    Another Engineer says:

    And don’t forget, Ruskin is in Oxford but not at Oxford…

  376. 376
    End of Problem says:

    Can of petrol under your caravan at night

  377. 377
    The Last Post says:

    I will be the last post after 12 ish PM ish

    Now it’s sorta Saturday ish

    Anyone posting now is like sad ish

  378. 378
    Southern Softey says:

    Thanks for that m’Lard. You have explained your position and I and many others can only respond by urging you to stuff it up your capacious arse and climb up after it – taking Squit Millibandy with you.

  379. 379
    Frankie Howerd says:

    Naughty! Naughty!! Naughty Pensioner!!!

  380. 380

    Perhaps it’s not One Nation today…

  381. 381
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Corby ? Corblimey. Another quiet day in the office, luv.

  382. 382
    Facefacts. says:

    Fishing ? oops. no bite!.

  383. 383
    steve smith says:

    come and live in the sheeple will vote liebour no matter how royally fucked they get

  384. 384
    Facefacts. says:

    Yeah,and gives it all to the 1% good plan.

  385. 385
    Gordon Brown's Greatest Fan says:

    Prescott didn’t make it but Paddy Tipping (he of the dodgy mortgage & expense claims) did get elected as Plod commissioner in Nottingham.

    It is almost surreal that someone that showed such a lack of judgement and total disregard for the public purse
    a) has the brass neck to stand for election, and
    b) actually gets in!

  386. 386
    Tachybaptus says:

    In Nottamun Town, not a soul to be seen,
    Not a soul would look up, not a soul would look down,
    To tell me the way to Nottamun Town.
    I bought me a horse, it was called a grey mare,
    Grey mane and tail, grey stripe on her back,
    Weren’t a hair upon her that wasn’t coal black.
    She stood so still, threw me to the dirt,
    She tore my hide, she bruised my shirt.
    From saddle to stirrup I mounted again,
    And on my ten toes I rode over the plain.
    When I got there no one did I see,
    They all stood around just looking at me.
    I called for a cup to drive gladness away,
    And stifle the dust, for it rained the whole day,
    And the King and the Queen and the company more,
    Came a-riding behind and a-walking before.
    Then a stark naked drummer a-beating a drum,
    With his hands in his bosom came marching along.
    Sat down on a hot, cold frozen stone,
    Ten thousand stood round me but I was alone,
    Took my hat in my hand to keep my head warm,
    Ten thousand was drowned that never was born.

  387. 387
    Tachybaptus says:

    Mоddеd thе fіrst tіmе – thе bоt сlеаrlу dоеsn’t lіkе trаdіtіоnаl sоngs.

    Іn Νоttаmun Τоwn, nоt а sоul tо bе sееn,
    Νоt а sоul wоuld lооk uр, nоt а sоul wоuld lооk dоwn,
    Τо tеll mе thе wау tо Νоttаmun Τоwn.
    І bоught mе а hоrsе, іt wаs саllеd а grеу mаrе,
    Grеу mаnе аnd tаіl, grеу strіре оn hеr bасk,
    Wеrеn’t а hаіr uроn hеr thаt wаsn’t соаl blасk.
    Shе stооd sо stіll, thrеw mе tо thе dіrt,
    Shе tоrе mу hіdе, shе bruіsеd mу shіrt.
    Frоm sаddlе tо stіrruр І mоuntеd аgаіn,
    Аnd оn mу tеn tоеs І rоdе оνеr thе рlаіn.
    Whеn І gоt thеrе nо оnе dіd І sее,
    Τhеу аll stооd аrоund јust lооkіng аt mе.
    І саllеd fоr а сuр tо drіνе glаdnеss аwау,
    Аnd stіflе thе dust, fоr іt rаіnеd thе whоlе dау,
    Аnd thе Kіng аnd thе Quееn аnd thе соmраnу mоrе,
    Саmе а-rіdіng bеhіnd аnd а-wаlkіng bеfоrе.
    Τhеn а stаrk nаkеd drummеr а-bеаtіng а drum,
    Wіth hіs hаnds іn hіs bоsоm саmе mаrсhіng аlоng.
    Sаt dоwn оn а hоt, соld frоzеn stоnе,
    Τеn thоusаnd stооd rоund mе but І wаs аlоnе,
    Τооk mу hаt іn mу hаnd tо kеер mу hеаd wаrm,
    Τеn thоusаnd wаs drоwnеd thаt nеνеr wаs bоrn.

  388. 388
    Anonymous says:

    How very naive, of you.
    Monbiot’s statement was simply self-serving, publicly apologising for his idiocy in the hope of reducing his settlement, while continuing to try to justify his tweet.
    “I trusted his {Messham’s} account unquestioningly.” Why? Because it matched his agenda? Because it was backed by his fellow lefties at BBC’s Newsnight and TBIJ? Like them, he cast aside all reason – “without any of the care I usually take when assessing and reporting an issue” – in desperation to smear the Conservative party.

  389. 389
    Is terminal dandruff catching? says:

    Mike, the past participle is ‘wented’. You must be Liebore ejerkatid.

  390. 390
    Is terminal dandruff catching? says:

    Every comedian needs a good ‘catch phrase’ by which they are easily recognised. For example, Brucie’s was “Nice to see you; to see you, nice”.

    I think we should all immediately adopt John’s curt, crisp and catchy: “Bugger off”.

    I am sure it will often come in useful and, with a little regular usage, will also be forever connected to our Lord.

  391. 391
    Is terminal dandruff catching? says:

    Like a grounded tanker, is your Hull empty John?

  392. 392
    Is terminal dandruff catching? says:

    Have you spelled ‘joodiciary” correctly?

  393. 393
    Happy expat who escaped says:

    You need to take more water with your misguided vitriol, sunshine.

  394. 394
    Who escaped? says:

    Quite; but exactly whose money did he use for that little bit of escapism?

  395. 395
    Johnnyboy says:

    Bugger off.

  396. 396
    David says:

    You sick fuck. McAlpine is in poor health and was spending his time peacefully in Italy when all this was visited upon him, a propos of nothing. As anyone who is attacked, he is entitled to defend himself.

    It is sincerely to be hoped that your wretched and misguided life does not continue for much longer if you have such an automatic prejudice against anyone who is not of the same age as you and whilst you remain ignorant to the point of approaching solipsism.

    That you should take the time out just to be cruel to someone you don’t know and have never met, from behind the safety of your keyboard late at night, illustrates how low your own self-regard must be. You are too twisted and mean spirited even to be a Liberal Democrat.

  397. 397
    Disappointed candy date says:


  398. 398
    Candy Date says:

    All in good time. Too much other merriment going on in here at the moment.

  399. 399
    Candy Date says:

    I thought he only made it to Deputy Prime Cock?

  400. 400
    Candy Date says:

    You mean ‘empathise’, I suppose. Ah well, ejekashun etc….

  401. 401
    Candy Date says:

    Have the Tory ‘cuts’ affected your supply of full stops and capital letters?

  402. 402
    Candy Date says:


  403. 403
    Candy Date says:

    ….. or, more simply: “Bugger off”.

  404. 404
    Help is free says:

    It was the ‘dr**ve what got ya.

  405. 405
    Fabians are Evil says:

    I wish the bastard would just go stick his stupid fat ugly head up a dead dog’s bum

  406. 406
    filipinomonkey says:

    ah but are you a Catholic atheist or a Protestant one…?

  407. 407
    Abu Qatada's Taxpayer-Funded Halal Supper says:

    He’s a bloated malefactor from Hull!

  408. 408
    Really? says:

    Right wing?

    My you are a deluded soul. Bliar was a third way, progressive corporatist. Where did that movement start and who founded it? None other than an Italian called Benito, it was called the third way because it was neither communist or capitalist in nature. Benito, though he flirted with marxism, hated both, he called his new third way movement of collectivist, progressive socialists, fascism.

  409. 409
    Cyril Smith Took My Anal Virginty says:

    And you thought you’d try to keep warm by engaging in some superior political discourse with your betters in England didn’t you?

  410. 410
    Jon Snowman says:

    On the form of the last general election, the Conservatives should have expected a majority in Humberside of about 7-8,000, given a quarter of the 2010 turnout. This was never going to be a shoe-in for Prezza. Rural north Humberside is largely blue.

    You still have to laugh though. Heartily.

  411. 411
    not quite so... HappyHour says:

    It was close, but thankfully not out my way. Conservative MP, AM and PCC. Though of course Labour control my f*cked up council, and that jackboot Marxist party, language fanatics Plaid have far too much influence.

  412. 412
    Handycock No1 Trougher in Parliament says:

    Prezza is inspirational. I will be following his example. When I retire as an MP I will be standing for Police Commissioner. Oink oink. Boaz.

  413. 413
    Geordieboy says:

    Is that because he feels like a tank in Tianaman Square

  414. 414
    Majorfrustration says:

    At first glance I thought it was Les Dawson

  415. 415
    Vi Agra says:

    Election trouble with the old chipolata.

  416. 416
    cynic says:

    Where is Watson these days. He has gone very quiet after his Tory Paedo campaign collapsed. Is he chained up in Ed’s cellar where the butler can keep an eye on him and feed him on Newcastle Brown and the odd pack of crisps?

  417. 417
    Harman the Hypocrite says:

    Magnificiant post. Harman in an odious hypocrite of the highest order.

  418. 418
    Harman the Hypocrite says:

    Agreed Prezza is indeed an aspirational figure who has proved that even the most dimwitted, odious hypocrites with low moral standards can aspire to run a Police Force.

  419. 419
    The reverend Ian Paisley. says:


  420. 420
    Mr Notonyurenelly. says:

    So if you boys are out fighting who is looking after the shop?

  421. 421
    Lizzie says:

    Many onthe left are rushing to claim that since turnout in the PCC elections was so low therefore those elected lack a democratic mandate. Do they extend the same argument to the Manchester Central MP who was elected on a similarly low turnout? If not, why not?

  422. 422

  423. 423
    Anonymous says:

    Ho ho ho! happy Christmas tax and rate payers. At least porky wont be getting his snout even further in the public trough. Bet he was pissed. Surprised he didn’t deck the winner!

  424. 424
    Looking at a Map says:

    Still can’t find Hull. Is it near Lands End.??????

  425. 425
    N.E. Pie Salesman says:

    Only to Flab-Man-Watson now

  426. 426
    N.E. Pie Salesman says:

    Sorry pie’s with pickles just wont work

  427. 427
    Frederick says:

    Blowing Whistles WTF ! McAlpine has nothing to do with child abuse. If you care so much then do something. And by making them pay McAlpine makes them think again next time.

  428. 428
    Anonymous says:


  429. 429
    Fish Fingers says:

    They steal from the public by selling the assets like the Tote & HS1.

    In the 80’s it was the utilities, so now we are all pay the price.

    They are presently dismantling the NHS, as we watch on.

  430. 430
    Ehtch says:

    Back to croquet then John, ey?

  431. 431
    Eborgleve says:

    Big turn out in Humberside – over 19% – they wanted to make sure ‘Prezza’ didn’t do any more free loading.

  432. 432
    Ecstatic Swansea resident says:

    + 10,000

  433. 433
    14 pints& a base ball cap back ter front says:

    ,Od on a minnit, tha,s seen nowt till tha,s seen me in a drunken rage,ah soomtimes even freeten me sen.

  434. 434
    Spellcheck. says:

    Hi don,t know Hits Ha mystery.

  435. 435
    Reverend Ian Paisley. says:


  436. 436
    Dandy Cate. says:

    I am extremely pedantic.

  437. 437
    Ed Milliband, special needs vote says:

    Frankly this type of sneering response is typical of Tories who do not understand why we need a fairer society. That’s why I have announced our new initiative, the Age of Chancers, in which John will take a lead in examining food and drink and how this impacts on political trajectories.

    I think what we all need to do is stop posturing and get round the table to find solutions for society’s problems. Really, that’s what Labour is all about.

  438. 438
    old grumpy says:

    Like Mates, Prescott was campaigning a false objective. Our Policing System might benefit from some updating but not a root and branch overhaul.

    No issue. No campaign………… a dying political fart!

  439. 439
    UGH says:

    People can’t talk lowly enough of her.

  440. 440
    PC Plod, Letsbe Avenue says:

    Hattie, can you check that you do not still have that bullet-proof vest you wore for that walkabout? It seems to be missing.

  441. 441
    JH3 says:

    Twatson has taken to a doing a series of light-hearted, jolly tweets where he pretends to be dead enthusiastic about something. I love such-and-such a track, etc.

    No mention of his pa3do-finder general crusade, funnily enough.

    No most definitely, no ‘Sorry’.

  442. 442
    JH3 says:

    Someone has sat Tom down, and told him in no uncertain terms to STFU.

    Quite probably his own legal team.

    I think he is playing on the idea that people think he is ‘working’ on something, and will surprise us all.

    In fact, I think he will try to never mention his little pa3dofinder general period again.

  443. 443
    Northern Convert says:

    Pauline wont be! She`ll have his balls on a plate. Oh John.. what did you
    expect? really!

  444. 444
    Jimmy_theFish says:

    No doubt the Pie-King will have other plans….

  445. 445
    Northern Convert says:

    Dont think it will stop him trying again, and again. Dont you know he is always right? Thats his mentality.

  446. 446
    Northern Convert says:

    She would have to knock Pauline out first!

  447. 447
    More Cheese says:

    Ha ha ha. Hunt.

  448. 448
    BBC Disinfotainment Commissioning Team says:

    Instead of indiscriminately firing missiles at them during the school run in the manner of the Hamastan heroes?

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ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
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Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

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