November 16th, 2012

Breaking: LibDems Lose Deposit in Corby
UKIP Come Third as Labour Take Seat

In without a doubt the most amusing news of an otherwise dull by-election results day, the LibDems came fourteen votes short of keeping their deposit in Corby. The humiliation was complete after two recounts and heated discussions between the LibDems, the returning officer and an electoral commission official. UKIP came third as Labour won back Louise Mensch’s old seat. Mr Mozzarella got closer to the LibDems than the LibDems did to UKIP. They’re having a whip round for Clegg’s candidate…


  1. 1
    BournemouthDP says:

    The lib dems lost their deposit in corby and the con lost it in manchester. a good day for the ruling coalition (HAHAHA). Serves then right


    • 29
      None of the above says:

      Why is there a picture of Alky Campbell sucking on a lemon? Cant you get any pictures of Lib Dumps looking like they are bothered?


      • 33
        Really? says:

        That’s Clegg numbnuts.


        • 37
          None of the above says:

          Can you not spot the irony. He does look like Alky on that photo though


        • 42
          Ivor Biggun says:

          LibDems lose deposit – BBC Views Online don’t seem to have had the space to mention this significant aspect of the by-election result amid their glee about Labour “seizing” Corby form the eeeeeeeevil Torieeeeeeeeeees.

          No change there then.


          • Ivor Biggun says:

            Lo and behold, they’ve managed to add it in now – must ave got some extra HDD space and bandwidth in….


          • JohnKC says:

            The Liberal Democrats, in fourth place, lost their deposit despite asking for two recounts…….confirmed


          • Hugh Janus says:

            The BBC website shows four women counting votes. They are all wearing high-viz. Never realised that this task was so hazardous.


      • 106
        Soho Pimp says:

        I was also intrigued. Is he on the vinegar stroke?


    • 47
      ukiplocal says:

      LibDems didn’t lose their deposit in the Essex PCC election – they didn’t have a candidate!! Nor did Greens.

      Do we think these results will stop the usual suspects giving Greens and LibDems pride of place at election times and in current affairs generally.,. Ooohh no it won’t.


    • 76
      old git says:

      UKIP third at Corby with over 14% of the vote and the Limp-Dems loosing their deposit. Cameron’s arrogance has torpedoed ANY chance of a Tory victory for at least a decade it’s time he went. Ferage must be pissing himself with laughter for in spite of the deliberate efforts by the media to ignore or ridicule UKIP they are not only stitching up the Tories but are making the Liberals look as popular as a fart in a space suit he’s got both parties now on the ropes and it serves the fuckers right
      If the electorate do not get a binding in/out referendum before the next general election the Tory party is toast. Look at the results of the recent election in Maidenhead, Tories gone Liberal in massive loss of votes to UKIP. In 2013 this Tory government will allow unfettered access to Rumanians and Bulgarians who will automatically be entitled to benefits. If a political party was ever contemplating political suicide today’s Tories are setting a benchmark. You couldn’t make it up

      Vote UKIP YIPEEEE!


  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    Mr mozzerella to stand for a main party next time, what a boy


  3. 3
    Sandra in Accounts says:

    Are you listening now Camerloon?



    • 16
      The Ignorant Toffee-nosed Twat in No 10 says:

      I say you jolly chaps! My jolly chum Joules says there’ll be an absolute landslide at the GE! What?


    • 27
      Abu Qatada says:

      Cons are good! Vote Con. Labours was good boys, they lets me in. Cons good, too, they let me stays and gives me many monies and big house. I soon gets even bigger house.

      Theresa May good girl, too. She happy me here. She gives me many policemens to looks after me while I make many plans to kills you all.


      • 126
        Abu abis abit says:

        Except that it was a judge, not a politician who determined that result.

        Still, don’t let profound ignorance get in the way, it’s only the interweb thingy.


    • 48
      Mr Nobody says:

      You’re starting to sound a little desperate, Ed. Nobody will vote UKIP at the next election as they realise it’s a vote for you.


      • 66
        Mrs Farage says:

        vote EUkip get Labour!!

        oh.. and I get to keep my wage!

        in fact… we get to keep everything! cos we’ll never publish our expenses!


      • 80
        One-term Dave, leading the Tories to their grave, says:

        Quite so what what.

        “Crikey Mikey, G0lly Gosh!
        Vote for Dave, ‘the inbred toff’!”

        Spiffing election slogan, what what?

        Guffff-haw haw haw haw haw haw haw!

        My butler came up with this one – I’m not so keen:

        “Vote for David Camoron,
        Ev’rything he does is wrong,
        he is an utter f*cking mong,
        but thank Christ with luck he’ll soon be gone.”


      • 111
        Rip van Wrinkle says:

        What the f%ck does it matter? Name me one thing that has changed since the Fabian Plant took over??


    • 49
      Phillipe Flop says:

      Andy Sawford (Lab) 17,267 (48.41%, +9.71%)
      Christine Emmett (C) 9,476 (26.57%, -15.63%)
      Margot Parker (UKIP) 5,108 (14.32%)
      Jill Hope (LD) 1,770 (4.96%, -9.48%)


  4. 4
    Kebab Time says:

    The last time the Lib Dems had a problem with a deposit was with mark oaten!

    Meanwhile how did Labour in Bristool go?


  5. 5
    Gordon The Gopher says:

    Wow with this news Nigel won’t have enough time to work out his expenses for the next 10 years…..


    • 38
      Really? says:

      It sucks being you doesn’t it?


    • 50
      Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

      I don’t know if ‘Nigel’ has dodgy ex’s or not, but what I do know is I’d rather his dodgy expenses than that lot behind the new Iron Curtain.
      What is it we have paid to them so far this year170 billion, shurly ‘Nigel’ don’t fiddle that much?


  6. 6
    East Midlands UKIP says:

    Labour, Conservatives and Lib Dems lost voters to us.

    Clock is ticking on rusty Dave now – and Clegg really should surrender his British citizenship and start cosying up to one of those EU countries quick so he can make Commissioner.


  7. 7
    Bbc says:

    Who are ukip?


  8. 8
    Klughe Lesstwat says:

    I blame the parents…


  9. 9
    Abu hava Qatada says:

    Libs Dems hahahahahanahahahanahahahahahahahahahahanahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahababababababahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah



  10. 10
    Jimmy says:

    General Election Now!


  11. 12
    Nick Clegg says:

    I will go nuclear on this


  12. 13
    Psy Man says:

    Polly put the kettle on.


  13. 14
    Jay says:

    Didn’t UKIP set out to win Corby? The “first real test” after the eurozone crisis and yet another referendum cop-out by Call-Me-Dave, etc.

    I am sure Farage and his cheerleaders will celebrate the result but the truth is, UKIP are extremely unlikely to win any seats in Westminster in the foreseeable future.


    • 56
      Mr Nobody says:

      They might win them for Labour.


    • 58
      Really? says:

      Don’t you mean Lib-Dim’s?


    • 59
      Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

      Just like the LibLabCon are extreamly unlikely to stop the EUSSR taking us over (a barrel).


    • 64
      The Land of the Politically Correct and Mendacious says:

      It’s not about winning seats at Westminster……the strategy is focussed on the 2014 European elections and is to get enough Tory core vote to vote UKIP in protest and thus scare enough Tory backbenchers who suddenly fear for their safe seats to put pressure on Cameron to block EU budget and to adopt more eurosceptic policies. It a almost dead cert now that Cameron will veto EU Budget if he cannot get a deal that will satisfy his eurosceptics as this result will embolden them further to vote down government legislation especially any to do with EU


  14. 15
    Don Kong says:

    If David Cameron was asked what he wanted from the Chinese Takeaway he would order Chicken Jalfrezei


  15. 18
    Butt Wipe says:

    Ho Ho Ho

    Xmas soon

    Less Coppers on Beat

    Move on Plebs


  16. 20
    Jen The Blue says:

    Jay may well be correct that UKIP cannot win any seats…..but they can certainly bugger the Tories’ election prospects unless Cameron wakes up and does the right thing.

    I’m not holding my breath though. Cameron is not a Tory and is up to eyes in the European “project”.


    • 62
      The Golem says:

      Exactly, the present ruling clique don’t work for us.


    • 65
      Really? says:

      Don’t put money on UKIP not gaining any seats, unless you enjoy losing money that is.


      • 83
        Mrs Farage says:

        actually it will be Ukip losing deposits once again like we have for the last 20 years


        • 92
          Really? says:

          Put money on that too if you want, though I doubt even you don’t believe that the polls have been consistently correct. UKIP have replaced the Lib-Dim’s as party number three.

          Onwards and upwards, the LabLibCon trick, is a busted flush.


  17. 22
    Anonymous says:

    When the Lib Dums lose their deposit nothing else matters. A good result.


  18. 24
    IMHO says:

    Still trying to fiddle the Expense account?.


  19. 25
    Rachel Reeves says:

    True I may sound a bit like Zippy from Rainbow but at least I don’t look like Wallace!


  20. 26
    None of the above says:

    Sorry to spoil the party, but can anyone tell me what will change?


    • 72
      Really? says:

      While the LabLibCon share power? Nothing, vote different and get different politics. The same old crowd will give you the same old shite, until you say enough!


  21. 28
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Hope the good people of Humberside don’t let us down on 2nd preference.


  22. 30
    Psycho reading a Crystal Ball says:

    See told you Dave


  23. 31
    Some chap called Nigel says:

    I would like to be the first to sincere send my heart felt thanks to Dave, Nick &

    little Ed, thanking each one of them for all of there efforts in making “U K I P” a

    strong political force & is the only party thats INCREASING its membership !!

    Remember VOTE U K I P……… U K I P………….U K I P

    PS To the ConsLieLaborLibDems Alliance Please keep up your excellent

    work 24/7


  24. 32
    HenryV says:

    How dumb are you lot in Corby? Where is the logic in making a protest by voting for the FUCKING IDIOTS WHO MADE THE MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE? Idiots.


  25. 34
    Klu Lessin Gaza says:

    Trouble is that even those with good memories die off in time. Labour (in name only) rely heavilly on that so they can paint themselves as a “good guys” all over again. It’s all in my next documentary “Sex Lies and Rinsing The Electorate” . My marketing minions say they’re not happy with the title but what do they know!


    • 60
      I Fecking Angry says:

      Correct look at it all kicking off in the holy land. With us paying a war monger to be a peace envoy. Well thats untill he gets the job of dictator of euroland


      • 104
        Klu Lessin Gaza says:

        Too true and typical “simulator left volatilis” behaviour as my pal Boris likes to put it! ;)


  26. 39
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    The labour winner in Corby has been through the party brainwashing programme. 1997 TO 2010 never happened.


    • 43
      nellnewman says:

      He used to manage PhilHope’s constituency office so he also knows about how to maximise the use of expenses etc.


    • 116
      Living in 98 percent white Merseyside (with a view towards 99% white N. Wales) says:

      1997 to 2007 was a purple patch. I used to look across to the the ever increasing Liverpool skyline and think “we’re living in a new Edwardian Age”. Mind you, look how that ended.


  27. 40
    nellnewman says:

    I confess to being a little disappointed. I had hoped UKIP would push the tories into third in Corby. I thought that might give No10 a bit of a jolt and make them realise they have to have a tougher approach to the EU.


    • 52
      Klu Lessin Gaza says:

      Yewbbut it will bolster the Euroskeptic right of the party thus: “See Dave – the most pro Euro party lost it’s deposit and we falied to win because we’re losing too many punters crosses to the nutters in UKIP!”


      • 82
        Really? says:

        Correction, nutters who keep taking your voters away.

        Bit of a problem getting them back on your side, when you describe them like that. Though you and your type are probably too thick to realise what you are doing, which is all good for UKIP.


        • 105
          Klu Lessin Gaza says:

          Well you know what they say – ignorance is bliss! Got too rush got a date with THE modern dinosaur that me and Boris spend hours chucking over. Tootle pip. :)


    • 57
      Dave's tougher approach to the EU says:

      “President van Rompuy, Sir, my Lord, when you walk all over me while I lie prostrate on the floor, would you please, Sir, your magnificence, wear some silk socks rather than jackboots, which hurt my delicate pink skin so much. You won’t? Oh, well never mind, Sir, please, walk some more upon me.”


      • 128
        Tra lala says:

        Songs for Dave:

        You’ll never walk alone
        Walking my baby back home
        Doing the Lambeth Walk
        Out walking after midnight


  28. 46
    the savant6 says:

    does mister mozzarella have a cheesy grin
    or just a greesy chin ???


  29. 55
    Tory voter says:

    How terribly, terribly sad.


  30. 61
    Coco The Frown says:

    …. this is serious!!!!


  31. 68
    Dave's Pant's says:

    It’s a another messy day


  32. 70
    LibDems thrashed = good result for me says:

    To paraphrase David Steele….Go back to your constituencies and prepare for oblivion !!


  33. 71
    Tom Watson MP says:

    My strategy worked– we pulled off the upset, and it’s all down to me!
    Excuse me whilst I cry tears of joy over my brilliance!
    2015, here we come!


  34. 74
    JohnKC says:

    I live in Corby…if the road to Downing Street runs through here and we are so important why do I feels as thought it wont make any difference?


  35. 75
    1984 says:

    With the PCC results so far that AV thingy wouldn’t have worked out as the LibDems were hoping either.


    • 88
      Third Preference says:

      With all candidates bar the first two being eliminated, I wonder what proportion
      of those bothering to vote had both their preferences ignored completely.


  36. 79
    Sandra Troughing Accounts says:

    we are not making too much fuss about what we actually DO in the EU, because erm, what little of it is done with this lot


  37. 86
    Anonymous says:

    The winning candidate in Corby said that Cameron had betrayed the British people.
    Absolutely right, but not for what he thinks…


  38. 95
    green ink says:

    Corby demonstrates the devisive effect of the eu issue…ukip’s showing is probably the only truely significant movement. The labour vote at 48% is still well under their 55% 1997 result and only 8% higher than 2005 where they polled 40%. The collapse of the lib dem vote was to be expected.

    Turnout this time at 44% down from 69% at 2010 general election is despite all the focus put on the contest but is a mid term being used as a spear head for rolling out the One Nation narrative the Eddie boys are praying will fool the majority of the people most of the time.


  39. 96
    Cameron is a liar says:

    What a corrupt system that rips you off for five grand if you’re an independent party with fresh ideas. Totally undemocratic and only serves to maintain the status quo.

    The sooner we can be rid of the three main parties the better.

    Vote UKIP.


  40. 97
    Dave the Spendthrift says:

    Corby is a typical minor mid-term blip.

    I am absolutely convinced that my twin strategies of hardly cutting the deficit at all, and progressing the important PC policy of gay marriage are both vote winners.

    As suggested by Vague and Laws & Co., Cabinet Meetings are now held sitting on toads tools at the bottom of No.10’s garden. We all have a lovely time listening to the fairies.


    • 118
      Malcolm McDowell says:

      Don’t forget to add, tripling tuition fees, fiscal drag, 61% marginal rate of tax, loss of child benefit, slashing of defence budget and the real popular huge increase in international aid.

      The perfect recipe for electoral suicide..


  41. 98
    Jimmy says:

    The Corby swing repeated nationally would leave the tories with 39 seats. As “Michael Green” so perceptively put it today: “Ed Miliband is in trouble”.


  42. 107
    Pissed Up in Preston says:

    2 pints of bitter and a packet of pork scratchings….. oops wrong pub ….sorry…


  43. 114
    Al Zimerz says:

    … shit forgotten what I was going to say now!


  44. 125
    Ed Miliband-Aid says:

    Labour’s victory in Corby is a clear endorsement of my leadership. They know I’m a strong leader because I shafted my own brother. Imagine what I could do to the nation ? Labour’s ‘Wan-Nation’ is making an impression on the voters. They remember how we left Britain a sick (wan)nation in 1979 and 2010. Once the Tory-led Coalition has cleared the deficit, then we will be re-elected and start spending again on the things that matter like jobs in the on-shore windmill industry. There won’t be any Tory-style ?U-turns (although we will agree to increase the EU budget). Britain must be at the table where I can use my great influence on Mrs. Merkel and our wonderful President Herman ‘Whatshisname’. We will be tough on immigration once the population reaches 70 million.

    Remember we want a Wan-Nation Britain.


  45. 127
    Dim Dave nice but dim says:

    No really, tis but a triffle or maybe a custard, gadzooks I say, yah boo to thet Farage fellu, I will just invade somewhere, somehere warm, worked for Tonee

    I’m his heir, you know


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