November 15th, 2012

Musical SpAds: Giles Kenningham to CCHQ


  1. 1
    Yawn says:

    I also hear the traffic lights in the High Street aren’t working.

  2. 2
    Justin Poofy Boots says:


  3. 3
    Gonk III says:


  4. 4
    Sue Brown- I have rights too. says:


  5. 5
    Ehtch says:

    yawn! you said wharr?

    and it is Eric Pickles’ door-kicking whatever, by the way – pedantic chance I have got, even though my grammar and spelling is careless and crud at all times.

  6. 6
    Atilla the Hunni says:

    So he is “Good” hahahahaha, pity he has a PM with no balls to work with..hahahah

  7. 7
    bumboys and nonces says:

    Giles isn’t “good”, he’s fucking amazing.

    I so would.

  8. 8
    Anne Idiot in Edinburgh is my new best friend says:

    Someone is setting themselves up for a fall or a disappointment at least.

  9. 9
    Shocked of Sheen says:

    Cauliflower cheese for supper tonight…

  10. 10
    Leaving Edinburgh- it is Monging says:


  11. 11
    English for Beginners says:

    “Eric Pickles door-kicking media SpAd”


  12. 12
    Abu Qatada says:

    PM has no ballses. I keep PM’s ballses in glass jar, on mantelpiece in my £400K home. Good ornaments.

    Give me bigger house. NOW! Infidel. I call Camerons and tells him I wants bigger house.

    Camerons will do whats I says. He my bitch.

  13. 13
    Libertarian 4eva says:

    Oi! leave my *fags* out of it!

  14. 14
    Abu Qatada says:

    PM has ballses. I keep PM’s ballses in glass jar, on mantelpiece in my £400,000 home. Good ornaments.

    Give me bigger house. NOW! I call Camerons and tells him I wants bigger house.

    Camerons will do whats I says. He my bitch.

  15. 15
    Sally gob shite says:

    My snatch itches.

  16. 16
    Andrew Marr says:

    I’m having corned beef gash for dinner tonight.

  17. 17
    Kebab travel update says:

    Delays on the M4 Spur northbound (i.e. leaving Heathrow) due to an accident, outside lane blocked

  18. 18
    Italian Pasta says:

    He looks like a dodgy Italian waiter who pisses in the macoroni. Oh well, see how he fairs.

  19. 19
    Keel-haul an effigy of ‘Grocer’ Heath then the actual Camertwat, daily - pour encourager les autres says:

    Obviously The Twunt in No 10 has got everything organised.

  20. 20
    CCHQ says:

    Fucked if we know what happened to Ric Holden.

    He’s on the missing list.

  21. 21
    Cure for Insomnia says:

    I bought a new pair of socks today.

  22. 22
    English for Beginners (lesson 2) says:

    “Eric Pickles’ door-kicking media SpAd”


  23. 23
    Sally - while you're here says:

    Why are you so much taller than the little shit you hang on to? – or was it vv?

    I think we should be told.

  24. 24
    Jimmy says:

    Good to have a reliable spokesman obviously:

    Giles ‏@gileskenningham
    More Brown lies. We have never said we are opposed to the future jobs fund.He can’t stop lying
    Collapse Reply Retweet Favorite
    3:52 PM – 29 Apr 10 · Details

  25. 25
    Sally Bercow says:

    I was sued for many £k’s today.

  26. 26
    Boris says:

    Yeah, he’s so good Eric Pickles has turned out to be one of the most indolent, useless ministers in this government

  27. 27
    Ed Miliband (Prime Minister designate) says:

    I send my commiserations to CCHQ over this appointment.

    And Eric Pickles is also believed to have shelled out taxpayers’ cash on legal advice after someone in his department – most likely one of his special advisers, Giles Kenningham and Sheridan Westlake – attempted to smear the name of the head of the Electoral Commission.

    Oy Vey indeed.

  28. 28
    Judge Dreadful says:

    Hopefully, you will be cleaned out for everything you have.

  29. 29
    Non-entity Chef says:

    That is a very good idea. I like to add Dijon mustard to the cheese sauce.

  30. 30
    Ultravox says:


  31. 31
    HenryV says:

    Door kicking SPaD? He looks like the token gay character from an 1980s film.

  32. 32
    Fruit and Veg Seller says:

    You’re banana’s.

  33. 33
    Bogeyman says:

    As one who quite fancies amazonian women, I always had a crush on the Ber Cow. That was until seeing this interview with Rod Liddle.

    All went limp at the sight and sound of this gobby, gurning slapper. Posh to the core (Marlborough, Oxford) she’s even worked on the mockney to boost her ladette image.

    A disgrace to herself and the Speaker. But I still could if really pushed.

  34. 34
    Spad-u-like says:

    early mandleson hartlepool tash (absorbs tummy banana overflow)

  35. 35
    Shocked of Sheen says:

    With grated parmesan, shredded parma ham and breadcrumbs to quickly grill just before serving eh?

  36. 36
    Parky says:

    I’ve met an interesting person in my life.

  37. 37
    Jimmy says:

    Do they have any Spads whose names don’t sound like PG Wodehouse characters?

  38. 38
    Dorothy Parker says:

    He looks like a lounge-lizard. Does he tango?

  39. 39
  40. 40
    Parliament says:


  41. 41

    No sound from @SallyBercow for an unprecedented hour.


  42. 42
    The Mafia says:

    We like our cauliflower cheese served cold.

  43. 43
    The Vatican says:

  44. 44
    Spadzzzzzzzzz says:

    I’ve only got four bottles of wine left in the rack. I’m going to have to stop off at Tesco on the way home. Luckily, I have a £5 off coupon.

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    Every time I see Pickles on TV I’m reminded of Cyril Smith. I wonder if they have the same appetites?

  46. 46
    Ex Ex Ex Ah! Monika says:

    Out Of the Mouths Of A young Scouser, having just met the Queen today.

    “She looked very nice, a posher version of me Nan”.

  47. 47
    Ex Ex Ex Ah! Monika says:

    She’s got her mouth full!

  48. 48
    Ex Ex Ex Ah! Monika says:


  49. 49
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    If Sally Bercow is to take legal advice we need to know who is paying for it.

  50. 50
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    So that’s nothing from Sally Bercow, Tom Watson and Philip Schofield. Be interesting to know if there has been any communication between John Bercow and Tom Watson.

  51. 51
    Ex Ex Ex Ah! Monika says:

    She’ll settle. We will never know how much for.

  52. 52
    When Ally Met Sally says:

    We know who you are and we know exactly the extent of what you have done,” he warned. “You must take responsibility.

  53. 53
    When Ally Met Sally says:

    It won’t be the taxpayer unless she gets legal aid. But as she’s clearly a member of the well-off middle class there’s no chance of that. Either she, or her grubby little husband, will have to dip into ther pockets. Same they’re not fucking royalty.

  54. 54
    Fishy says:

    Not heard much from Anonymong either – I think that it was he that pretended to be in the know and recklessly named names on this site.

    I also wonder what Lord McA’s brief will make of the Watson tweet, ‘I see the pushback has begun in some sections of the media. The same people who dismissed the hacking allegations.Suspect they’ll regret it.’ This after the Guardian got round to exposing the mistaken identity.

    I don’t recall any other ‘push back’ that day. With this tweet, was he challenging the ‘Guardian’ story and Lord McA’s innocence? Perhaps he will need to explain himself.

  55. 55
    Monty Bodkin says:

    Yes but one is too much of a gentleman to name them.

  56. 56
    @# says:

    Pickles again?

  57. 57
    When Ally Met Sally says:

    She’ll be sued for the sheets off her back.

  58. 58
    The savant6 says:

    You ve got chlamydya dear

  59. 59
    Silly Barecow says:

    I’ll farkin’ well , farki’ do you one…I’s a lady I is, an you doncha wanna mess wif me, like you don’t or I’ll farkin’ well farkin’ fark yer farkin’ face up.

    {Sent from my solicitors ipad}

  60. 60
    Lawyer says:

    “there’s no chance of that. ”

    Ha Ha, very humorous.

  61. 61
    The savant6 says:



  62. 62
    @# says:

    Bertie Wooster went to Eton.

  63. 63
    Ex Ex Ex Ah! Monika says:

    Fears for patient safety as 60,000 NHS jobs face the axe.

    60,000 Free car park spaces for visitors then ??

  64. 64
    Silly Barecow says:

    You an all’ yer farkin’ fakrie farker! I ain’t no mockney..i’m the real east end, apples and shares, duck and bone, my old man’s a munchkin, I is. Donch be do in no disrespecting to me or I’ll farkin well fark you up, I will, so ‘elp me chim chim-en-ney strike a light, I was born inside the bow bells, I was.

  65. 65
    Ho-hum says:

    Must leave the bins out tonight.

  66. 66

    Bertie Eton went to Worcester

  67. 67
    The savant6 says:

    Ehiii !!!

    Oouu. Yuuu. Callin. Dodgy
    We donnah doo. Dodgy in italy

    Just outright corrupt no fuckin abaaht

    An we donnah piss in the macoroni

    We piss in dah MACARONI

    Spell it right stronzo or we know where to put the horse s head …

  68. 68
    Plato says:

    She can’t get legal aid for libel.

  69. 69
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    I was thinking more like a spiv-type from one of those 1940’s films: “You say you can’t find [a rationed item]? Well, do you know where to look? I just happen to have a mate who knows a bloke, and, well, I COULD be persuaded to introduce you, if you get me, but, as we say, nothing comes for free in this crazy world in which we live…”

  70. 70
    Sue Brown says:

    Magic. My fave.

  71. 71

    1,125,131 NHS workers as of 2010.

    About a 5% cut as long as nursing homes aren’t included. Then it falls to 2%.

  72. 72
    Silly Sally B13 COW says:

    ‘Stay on air’ ? I thought he was on helium.

  73. 73
    MongAli says:

    Don’t forget the pickles. The BBC likes its pickles. Hope it doesn’t give you the runs.

  74. 74
    Gooey Blob says:

    Don’t forget to vote either.

  75. 75
    Jane Pig Grim says:

    Who’s gonna check if all the boxes have been ticked ?

  76. 76

    Leave Pressclott out with the ‘ has bins’.

  77. 77
    thebeastofmecca says:

    A “Door kicker”
    If that pomaded ponce has ever kicked in a door Im the King Of Jamaica
    He cant even organise his own hair
    Probably spends most of his days loading a conveyor belt with pizza and KFC into lardy Erics gob
    Hopefuly this cause of embarrassment to his family willl end up in a gutter with his anus leaking Hagues semen
    He looks like Billies type
    Does Eric bat for any side other than Greggs?

  78. 78
    'Handy' Andy Marr says:

    I like mine with brown sauce.

  79. 79
    Engineer says:

    True, but only because he fancied Worcester Woman. He was devastated to find she didn’t really exist.

  80. 80
    Eric Olthwaite says:

    Howard Molsom’s got a new shovel, mam!

  81. 81
    Engineer says:

    We have no wish to know about the ticks in your box, thank you.

  82. 82
    Tom Watson- Master of self deception says:

    Yes what was push back?Tom Watson will eat his words when they are battered and fried then served up to him. He deserves everything coming to him.Nasty piece of work.

  83. 83
    Engineer says:

    …..except while he’s in court answering the defamation charge.

  84. 84
    bumboys and nonces says:

    Not sure if that’s permanent or he’s one of those really cool people who support Movember.

    Either way, I’d fuck the arse off him, the little prickteaser.

  85. 85
    'Handy' Andy Marr says:

    Mad Nad’s is populated by boatloads.

  86. 86
    Patient ( no choice ) Patient says:

    I visit various hospitals very frequently and they could all do with a dose of Gove’s approach. Average walking pace 1 MPH, average chatting pace 100 MPH. Waiting times post appointment time 30 -120 minutes.

    They need Managers. One for each hospital will do.

  87. 87
    Engineer says:

    Apparently he already has ‘eaten his words’. His blogsite has been heavily ‘redacted’.

    (I can’t personally confirm this. I don’t want any trace of Watson’s internet presence on my computer. Worse than hardcore porn.)

  88. 88
    A man who won't take responsibility for his stupidity says:

    Oh what a man u r. U like Brown sauce on yer Bananna Fritters.

  89. 89
    BBC Pornographic Workshop says:

    Isn’t that Pte. Walker from Dads Army?

  90. 90
    IDF says:

    Dear Abu Qatada

    Thank you for entering the competition. Hope you win!

  91. 91
    johhny ringo says:

    Elton Worcester went to Bolton.

  92. 92
    Peter Hitchens says:

    Giles who? Fucking hell, when are we going to stop publicising all these plastic twatty Islington-Notting Hill wankers.

    And when am I next on Question Time?


  93. 93
    BBC Pornographic Workshop says:

    Aol !

  94. 94
    who's who? says:

    who are these “prominent twitterers” that the lawyers are going after? I’m guessing quite a few of them are well know Labour bloggers.

  95. 95
    Sir William Waad says:

    Of whom some 560,000 are non-medical admin staff, every one of whom is vitally necessary.

  96. 96
    Joe Dolce says:

    Shaddup Your Face!

  97. 97
    David Starkey, Looks Good In Khaki says:


    I’ve met with Giles and he understands the importance of cottage industries to UK growth very well. He’s also excellent on the importance of khaki in our society.

  98. 98
    Peter Hitchens says:

    Shut up you goggle-eyed twat.

  99. 99
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Fish pie?

  100. 100
    U-Boat Commander says:

    Soooo….Is zis right?…Ze Hairy cornflake?

    Hiz name also vill go ze list.

  101. 101
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    If Schofield had an ounce of decency he would resign. Has he no morals.

  102. 102
    XXX says:

    The guy’s hair is a total mess, how much did it cost£20, should have gone to specsavers!

  103. 103
    Dick Scratcher says:


    a. Disinclined to exert oneself; habitually lazy. See Synonyms at lazy.
    b. Conducive to inactivity or laziness; lethargic: humid, indolent weather.
    a. Causing little or no pain: an indolent tumor.
    b. Slow to heal, grow, or develop; inactive: an indolent ulcer.

  104. 104
    The Seven Spads says:

    Hi-ho, hi-ho
    It’s off to work we go
    We SpAd all day
    For lots of pay
    Hi-ho, Hi-ho

    Hi- ho, hi-ho, hi-ho, hi-ho…..

  105. 105
    XXX says:

    Pickles, isn’t he the big fat guy in the cabinet

  106. 106
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Barry Norman’s’ Pickle’s’s’ ?

  107. 107
    Mornington Crescent says:

    …until all your advertisers pull out.

  108. 108
    XXX says:

    Ally Sally are you thinking the same as me about Anony, he wants to be very careful even obtuse like that could get him in a lot of trouble

  109. 109
    Brown the Surrealist says:

    Washed down with a pint of Bitter.

    (note to self. I must not mess with a midget who is smarter than me).

  110. 110
    The Air says:

    He should be sacked.

  111. 111
    Anonymous says:

    does spec.savers imply competence.
    not always.

  112. 112
    When Ally Met Sally says:

    Precisely. Nobody is Anonymous on the innernet.

  113. 113
    XXX says:

    I don’t know, these university boys what are they like?

  114. 114
    When Ally Met Sally says:


  115. 115
    HenryV says:

    I don’t know. I thought he was a friend of yours Dorothy…..

  116. 116
    Philip Scumfield says:

    Looking forward to a massive pay-off. A three minute search of the internet reveals that there are stupendous rewards for failure in broadcasting.

  117. 117
    Peter Oborne says:

    After me you fucking bible bashing felching c-u-n-t.

  118. 118
    Justin Poofy Boots says:

    Who wants to see my Brown star?

  119. 119
    When Ally Met Sally says:

    He has no viewers either. The few that do watch are there to ogle Holly Willoughby’s tits and magnificent arse. Thankfully she looked embarrassed when he handed over Schofeld’s List to the PM.

  120. 120
    Justin Poofy Boots says:

    Pickles never hid in the closet. Can’t abide cowards who hide in their closets and take years to come out. Fools.

  121. 121
    Johnny Rotten says:

    One should take one’s fair turn. It is important that guest bookings are balanced and considered.

  122. 122
    When Ally Met Sally says:

    He’ll be on the list of Legal Letter Recipients.


  123. 123
    Parky says:

    It wasn’t you

  124. 124
    Bumfluff says:

    Ah bless he’s growing his First moustache.

  125. 125
    Simon Heffer says:

    Oiiii! Will you two knobheads shut the fuck up? You’re giving us columnists a bad name. Fucking shit-for-brains.

  126. 126
    Incurious George says:

    Hell yes! I got twice what I’d have got for doing the job, just for not doing it.

    I didn’t have pretend to be mentally ill or fake invoices for laptops or trip on a paving stone and call injury layers 4 U. I just had to fuck up in the most spectacular fashion I could think of.

    You should have seen the cock up I was planning for Dave lee Travis.
    The tribute shows were all ready to air . I recon that stinker could have netted me another mil or two.

  127. 127

    BBC have agreed about a £200k settlement to Lord McAlpine.

    I suspect he’ll accept £30k from you Sally. Seem fair?

  128. 128
    Anonymous says:

    when ppl are terrified they become hysterical.

    resentment based on wishful thinking is useless, co.exist peacefully.
    the lizard has spoken.

  129. 129
    Quentin says:

    The Buggering Boys Corp never mentioned a name wheras Sally in the Alley did, so 250k plus costs sounds reasonable.

  130. 130
    Dick Scratcher says:

    Furkin ell – BBC journo at lunchtime suggested £50k. FFS

    £1.3m for time server

    Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?

  131. 131
    Sir William W says:

    1,374.57 licence fees down the sough, then. Mind you, Georgie boy swanned off with 3,092.78 licence fees.

  132. 132
    Intellectually Crippled says:


  133. 133
    Italian Pasta says:

    Lol. :)

  134. 134
    Conrad Black says:

    Paxo £850k pa – what a pile of shite.

    Past his sell by date.

    Tell him to fuck off to Radio 4.

    Horse faced, Y-front, self-important prick.

  135. 135
    Anonymous says:

    we know…
    and so does god.
    so be true.

  136. 136
    Sherlock Holmes investigating the BBC says:

    My dear Watson. Who led that despicable and pathetic excuse for a mature woman up the garden path and into a ditch?

    My dear Watson. What were her motives? Another step up the career ladder perhaps? What a fool. Watson. What a fool.

  137. 137
    The BBC are cunts says:

    Are we bovvered ?? It’s not our money we’re doling out.

  138. 138
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    How can John Bercow continue to carry on as Speaker. Bercow must resign, otherwise it will be the end for all MPs as far as the public is concerned. If MPs think they are held in low esteem by the public now, just wait and see what happens if Bercow stays.

  139. 139
    La' says:

    Please can we have a gratuitous picture of Susie Squire?

  140. 140
    Stan says:

    I’ll “Collapse” if it’s OK with you, Jimbo.

  141. 141
    Little Johnny B13COW says:

    Dream on !!! No way are we leaving this luxurious trough !!!

  142. 142
    Peter Hitchens says:

    Oh fuck me, here we go. Mister fucking Potato Head has arrived. What was that about getting rid of my column, arsewipe? Ha ha ha ha… Hampstead Garden Suburb c_u_n_t_s think you can lord it, but Dacre told you to fuck off didn’t he? Go on c_u_n_t, admit it.

  143. 143
    Silly Sally B13 COW says:


  144. 144
    Anonymous says:

    how can we increase our resources?
    if we want self definition, self reliance,
    unsure if running after tomdickharry will do the trick.

    how is the isolated julian assange now.a.days.

  145. 145
    IMHO says:

    Let him stay so that he and all the rest of them can be held up to the ridicule that they deserve, the only way to shift a manure heap is with a pitchfork.

  146. 146
    The Squeaker says:

    Calm down, petal. This one will go on expenses.

  147. 147
    Jeremy 'TaxPlan' Paxman says:

    You haven’t seen the size of my pension, have you ? WOOHOOOO !!

  148. 148
    I don't nee d no doctor says:

    If Bercow stays it will reflect on labour, after all they selected him as Speaker.

  149. 149
    Blowing Whistles says:

    How about this then

    Are all the Climate Change nutters, liars and mongrels at the BBC paedophiles as well?

  150. 150
    jgm2 says:

    Death to Gaza! Death to lslam! Fuck Palestine! Exterminate all Muslims! No Fucking Surrender

  151. 151
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Pickles is Humpty Dumpty’s reincarnation.

  152. 152
    IMHO says:

    The only person in recent history that has conducted themselves in that office with honour, impartiality, dignity and an understanding of parliamentary protocol was an ex Tiller girl.

  153. 153
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Is there such a thing as poisoned pickles?

  154. 154
    God says:

    I don’t know diddley-squat. I am not interested in the paltry doings of men and women. In fact, I feel as if may not even exist.

  155. 155
    Fabians are Evil says:

    Gordon Brown & Co. did lots of mad, bad and stupid things:- but their dirtiest and some say cleverest bit of mischief was to appoint Bercow along with that wife of his.

  156. 156
    Blowing Whistles says:

    It is rumoured that Heath in retirement loved his walks around Salisbury Cathedral Close – but that he especially liked his morning walks watching the young boys from Bishop Wordsworth School.

  157. 157
    Anonymous says:

    eating his words.

    The new Chinese Overlord is used to eating bitterness, stoically. In the long game, chinese win.

    Where are the other flavours though.
    plenty in the garden.

  158. 158
    Thick Sally's Comeuppance says:

    But less than half of what Entwistle got for being so incompetent the allegations went out in the first place. Someone should ask the BBC to explain exactly what “gravity” of false allegations they would have to make before a damages payout of an ‘Entwistle’ (£450000) would be justified!!!

  159. 159
    Tachybaptus says:

    Stands to reason. Learning to be a dancer teaches you discipline, hard work and reliability.

  160. 160
    BBC vulture. says:

    Hahaho. Big Bang- BBC bombs. Again. Hahahoho.

  161. 161
    81lly 8owden is the gre@st umpire ever ! says:

    “If you don’t lick it here, please take a full refund and fuck off”

    “Guido’s blog, Guido’s rules” – except the time he told me off

    “I will defend your right ….”

  162. 162
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Do you wear kitten heels – I believe Theresa may likes kitten heels whereas Ken Clarke prefers his Hushed puppies.

  163. 163
    Peter Hitchens says:

    Mayy I just say that there is only one REAL Peter Hitchens and it is me
    My letter box that the impostor who writes for the Sunday HateMail stared through and me that commented on the size of his huge wobbling bottom right outside of the Briish Museum as I requested an autograph
    And Yes he is just as much of a po faced wanker in real life as he is in print
    Twat doesnt even have a decent pen, wears cheap ill fitting suits and looks like the kind of person who should be running an eastern european wank booth enterprise in Munich

  164. 164
    gulliver says:


  165. 165
    Bemused kebab shop owner says:

    I only asked if you wanted chilli sauce on your shish.

  166. 166
    Operation Crossbow says:

    Maybe, but why did the Tories ever put him up as an MP, especially with such a vile wife?

  167. 167
    BBC vultures says:

    Yes. Sally did actually use his name and many people made a wrong connection and thought he was a peedo. £250k sounds ok.

  168. 168
    The Middle East says:

    I’m assuming there isn’t much else on telly tonight?

  169. 169
    Eric Pickles confirmed batchelor and Greggs fan says:

    At no time has that young man ever requested That I dress up as the late Cyril Smith,furthermore,I shall sue anybody who suggests that he has

    Yes I ride him like a pony
    I may not be from Korea
    But Im no phoney and he loves it up the rear

  170. 170
    An Optimist says:

    If Lord M wins hefty damages, with any luck they will be bankrupted and he will no longer be able to sit as an MP

  171. 171
    Curious says:

    Why do I think Mr Pickles is married?

  172. 172
    IMHO says:

    What do you mean? there is Question Time and Newsnight on tonight, what a treat, arrgh! (chokes on dead wasp).

  173. 173
    Nick Kennerley says:

    Anybody here from the BBC that could accuse me of being a nonce?
    I could do with the cash
    I would be prepared to stand nexto Michael Portillo or Ken Clarke,
    I dont even mind posing next to Gideon Osborne, a hooker and a pile of coke, no shame here
    Let me know

  174. 174
    Anonymous says:

    god says…. I feel as if I may not exist.
    respect more. exist more.

  175. 175
    Engineer says:

    Interviews on WATO earlier suggested that McAlpine would go easy on the BBC as the settlement would come out of licence payers’ money. It was also mentioned that ITV where on the list of letter receivers, and they ain’t funded by the Telly Tax. Let’s say £250k plus, then; if they settle up quick, it’ll keep the costs down.

  176. 176
    jgm2 says:

    Tut tut. Naughty boy.

  177. 177
    Superficial says:

    But they have booted off Stella Creasy and replaced her with Harman. What a totoal bore.

  178. 178
    The public says:

    Who the fuck are you?

  179. 179
    jgm2 says:

    A tractor with a bulldozer blade is how I’d shift it.

  180. 180
    rics idea of tossing a salad says:

    Its as real as his love of salads

  181. 181
    IMHO says:

    Ho, steady on, that’s my TV licence fee money you are talking about, no fucking wonder the programmes are a pile of shite, nothing left after pay off’s, golden pensions, legal fees, compensation and nose candy.

  182. 182
    "You guys ready for it?" says:

  183. 183
    John of Hull says:

    I is gonna be Pleesmun when I grows up and look at evdunce n naughty pics n stuff phwooarrhhhh!

  184. 184
    rationalist says:

    It’s not just these reprehensible tweeters who should be dealt with firmly. The whole of the internet, particularly the blogosphere, is totally out of control and should be brought to heel. The net must now be regulated and strictly monitored so that unacceptable content is immediately removed and the offenders punished.

    This anarchic free-for-all has gone on too long and has gone way beyond the bounds of acceptability.

  185. 185
    another part of the public says:

    don’t know – don’t care – but I’d like a helping of Sal’s Calmidea Alley.

  186. 186
    nellnewman says:

    Do we think turnout for Police Commissioners election going to be greater than 10%??!! Our local polling stations doesn’t seems to have had more than 30 or so folks all day!!

    Does anybody know whose idea it was that we should elect Police Commissioners? What a waste of money!!

  187. 187
    The Grouniad/BBC axis of Evil aka the Biased Bullshitting C*ntz says:

    Hear hear to that!! – the last thing we want is anyone getting in on our act!

  188. 188
    NK says:

    Just a simple man who needs a spare couple of hundred grand to spend on guns,knives, Goretex clothing, night vision equipment and maybe thermal underwear

  189. 189
    jgm2 says:

    You just know it.


  190. 190
    IMHO says:

    Was it Mr Wu, manager of a Chinese restaurant in Hull?.

  191. 191
    The Tosser in No 10 says:

    Mine – all mine! Part of my Big Society – big ideas, big profits, big rip-offs, big wind farms, – big payments to the EUSSR, – big ideas like the HS2, big Riots, big debts or deficit, – you name it Nell, – it’s all down to ME ME ME ME!

  192. 192
    DC5 says:

    Some common sense at last!!
    The internet has become a cesspit of trolling, abuse, racism, homophobia, offensive comments, bullying ect Control is needed and order restored. regulation is needed now! If some bloggers and other anarchist/facsist types dont like it then too bad.

  193. 193
    Philip Schofield says:

    I have many lists.

  194. 194
    HaPerson says:

    That’s all you know big boy! – could give you a run for your money! – try me?

  195. 195
    jgm2 says:

    That would make my day. Tom Watson, grandstanding, salad-dodging, partisan smear-merchant, getting taken to the cleaners.

    *** PUNCHING THE AIR ***

    *** INNOCENT FACE ***

  196. 196
    Ed Dafty, LimpDim MP says:

  197. 197
    jgm2 says:

    It’s a Venn Diagram that begs to be drawn.

  198. 198
    Comrade Gordonski Brownstainovich says:

    Speaking of tractors – did I ever tell you my production figures?

  199. 199
    jgm2 says:

    Help. It’s that c*unt Hardwick.

  200. 200

    Motor mouth has got all brave again. It’s like diarrhoea, it just flows and flows. Look at the supporters pictures to see what people look like who engage mouth without first engaging brain. e.g.: Just breathe petal. You’re not going anywhere. It’s all gone silly. Xx

  201. 201
    jgm2 says:

    Postal votes will eclipse personal votes for the first time in history.

    Respect and Labour should do well.

  202. 202
    NK says:

    Was it some fat front bottom
    Serial s7xpest who may just benefit from said position?
    A person who insisted that his wife gave up her son for adoption?
    The Anorexic who forgot to puke ?

    Well he did the son a favour
    Brought up by a decent family, A Col in The British Army and a gentleman
    Not some grubby toerag dragged up in the streets of Hull hanging off his his vile fathers coat tails

    There is a rumour that he once spanked cyril Smith and got a tip as he cleared the plates

  203. 203
    Sigh says:

    Lefties and mozlems running some of Britain’s biggest police forces. We must be stark raving mad.

  204. 204
    spANK says:

    With his tongue and a slice of white bread

  205. 205
    Silly Sally B13 COW says:

    But I’ll have nothing to do all day long…

  206. 206
    jgm2 says:

    Harman is so thick that when plankton are looking to insult somebody they call them ‘as thick as Harman’.

  207. 207
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    David Cameron: “I look forward to working with Barack Obama for the next four years.”

    Two years, Dave, two years.

  208. 208
    jgm2 says:

    These days it also teaches you to walk around with 2kg of make-up.

    So, with that in mind, Andy Burnham should be the next speaker.

  209. 209
    Saffron says:

    I read that mathew freud is now advising the temporary DG of the beebs as to what he should do.
    Who is MF,well as far as I can see,he is the son in law of good old Rupe of News of the World fame.
    Enemies and friends coming together begs a question,any answers anyone?.

  210. 210
    jgm2 says:

    Schofield didn’t act alone. There’s no way that dopey children’s presenter got it into his thick skull to blind-side Cameron all by himself.

    It’s as credible as Tinky-Winky or Rosie and Jim suddenly coming over all crusading journalist.

  211. 211
  212. 212
    A Woman of Colour says:

    Dat am de right ting to say brudda – yo am on de ball – an dem whitey am all de same.

  213. 213
    jgm2 says:

    We get the PCCs we deserve. If the bedwetters and religion of peace get their supporters better organised then the rest of us have only ourselves to blame.

  214. 214
    Anonymous says:

    we pay for incontinence.
    no point grieving.

    abramovitch paid to get rid of rubbish.
    we need to pay to get rid of rubbish.

  215. 215
    Twitter is only for Tw@ts says:

    It’s time to end Twitter.

  216. 216
    spuNK says:

    She has dead legs, the face of a lithuanian prostitute,wears Primark curtains as some kind of wrap, feet that would struggle to fit into my size tens
    Just what does John Ewokosher see in this woman?
    This is the verticaly challanged wankstain who advertised for a bride before meeting the mother of his children and well oiled wife

    I must be the only man in London who hasnt poked her
    Not only does your “lovely” wife get f%%%%% on the tube by strangers she then boasts about it
    Discusting vile little perv

  217. 217
    Dr Freud said all women suffer from penis envy says:

    He is my grandson, as well

    He continues my good work of filling libraries full of BS

  218. 218
    jgm2 says:

    Why two years? Has the smoking caught up with Omaha?

  219. 219
    Tax Inspector says:


    IS there on owner of a british newspaper who is not non dom?

  220. 220
    Socialism is a severe mental illness says:

    “any answers anyone”

    Abolish the BBC.

    If those who work for it are genuinely creative, they will create new and useful things. Scientific and surgical equipment, for example, and new types of computers, new medicines and so on.

    If, on the other hand, they’re just braindead leftwing cretins (and, let’s face it, this is what they are) they’ll just have to get jobs cleaning toilets for a few years before they die prematurely of TB or cáncer.

    Either way, we abolish the license fee and free-up £3.6billion into the economy.

  221. 221
    Gabby Bertin supporter says:

    Hi Gabs if you read this stuff

    Hope you are doing well

    The Downing Street machine has collapsed since you left…

    You are the only person who can stop our Dave from self-destructing

    Come back quickly please…

  222. 222
    Ex-Tory says:

    Quite right

    All Dave is interested in nowadays is q u e e r marriage FFS

  223. 223
    jgm2 says:

    Is there the owner of any British company who is not non-dom?

    Can’t really blame them.

    50% tax? Fuck off.

  224. 224
    Simon Heffer says:

    Hitchens! Do you fucking want some? You’re gonna cop an unfortunate one, my son. Why don’t you fuck off back to Malta where you belong you chinless twat.

    Peter c.u.n.ting Riddell writes better stuff than you fuckwit! And he’s dead, I think.

  225. 225
    Sue Brown-I have rights too says:

    All this fucking pointless misdirection. Just to safe face and try to get out of the damage done. Unacceptable and unfuckingbelievable.

  226. 226
    Aboo Q'atada says:

    You shut your inf’idel face. You is my bitch.

    I make you look so stupid. You is like well my bitch. Get me bigger house. I wants more benefits

    I got big plans to bomz peoples. I need bigger house. You come here inf’idel and police kick your heads in.

    Police protect me while I be making plans to bomz you. Police kick your heads in. Not mine.

    This my country. You is well my bitches.

  227. 227
    Ed Davey says:

    I will skweem and swkweem and swkeem, in a high-pitched voice.

  228. 228
    Anonymous says:

    enemies and friends work together.
    a great way of looking at it,

    in the long game, this is a startling but good.
    with HongKong in mind, Patten knows this. Patten also knows divide and rule. MF’s missus wants to rule Murdoch.

  229. 229
    Extra in Eastenders who nods vigorously when he gets his change in the Vic but never speaks says:

    No, no. You’re thinking of Bolton Worcester, who went to Eltham.

  230. 230
    Little Johnny B13COW says:

    These are, it has to be said, her good points.

  231. 231
  232. 232
    Joss Taskin says:

    Why does Harridan Harmanhater always sit on Dimblebore’s right ?

  233. 233
    One-term Dave, leading the Tories to their grave, says:

    Well. kweer marriage is what all of you want. Even if you don’t know it, what what.

    You also want me to sack 20,000 troops, close hospitals, scrap Royal Navy ships, sack sailors, scrap planes, sack aircrew, increase VAT, increase fuel duty, close hospitals, borrow like a maniac, and put all the money I’ve saved and borrowed into two huge piles, one market “EU FRAUD” and the other marked “FOREIGN AID”, and set them both on fire.

    Right. Now that’s settled, I’m going to plan to invade Syria. I bet they want gay marriage, too.

    Toodle pip!

  234. 234
    Stasi Establishment says:

    Yes, deal with them all. Then we can keep on holding inquiries and spiking them by limiting their remit or even by “accidently on purpose” pulping the reports. We can mislead abused witnesses into setting up misdirection ops like this one as well so that we can establish our narrative in what remains of the MSM.

    But once the blogs are closed off, we can control everything.

  235. 235
    Simon Jenkins says:

    Oh for fucks sake, give it a bleeding rest you two. At the time of writing, Peter c.u.n.ting Riddell is NOT dead.

    Any more shit, I’m gonna start cracking heads. Fucking pricks.

  236. 236
    Fishy says:

    She just doesn’t know when to keep her trap shut.

    More tweets from Mrs Speaker….Now she is taking on the role of victim. It seems like a plot to her.

    Hi Sally, I think it’s disgusting that you’ve been singled out for asking why a subject was trending. The worlds gone mad.

    from Castle Point, Essex Reply


    1hSally Bercow‏@SallyBercow

    @jonbenson1975 seems that way to me too. Other motives in play here though methinks

  237. 237
    Cheesy Wotsit says:

    I’ve lost one of my ear plugs. It has gone up a Brown arsehole in dodgy looking jeans with a pint bitter thrown over them. I think I have been on too many magic mushrooms. Never mind I’m 84 years old next week. I run 10 miles everyday! Taking the cat to the vets tomorrow to rid it of the parasites and its furry balls.

  238. 238
    Jack says:

    Perhaps the BBC will provide him with a chauffeur …

  239. 239
    Twitter is for tw@ts says:

    “More tweets from Mrs Speaker”

    It’s about time she acted her age and not her shoe size.

  240. 240
    A nerd says:

    Have you done a graph?

  241. 241
    Andrew Rawnsley says:

    Leave it Sime. They’re not facking worf it.

  242. 242
    Harman the Hypocrite says:

    Perhaps Harriet could kick of this conversation about child abuse by rehearsing her arguments she put forward on behalf of PIE inthe 1980s

  243. 243
    A Londoner says:

    I would just like to say that I also have never poked that woman

  244. 244
    Defence counsel says:

    The onset of alzheimers could well come in handy in future. You can’t blame her for preparing the ground.

  245. 245
    Anonymous says:

    auntie is rubbish.
    we canonised it.
    it is the war of the titans. astute brits vs astute murdochs.
    it doesn’t get any bigger then this, psychologically speaking.
    The Freud led party will be the winner.

  246. 246
    DL George says:

    Did I just hear that right?
    Some lady from The New Statesman is editing Question Time’s Tweets???

    BBC are upping the game from barefaced to blatant.

  247. 247
    Gypsy Beast Dave(Obamah) Camporn says:

    As I said to the President only last week, I will not stand …..
    Actually for anything other than my own self glory

    My wife is neither a Lezbot nor a porno model
    So I win Boris and Barry

  248. 248
    Giles Kenningham the beast of branston says:

    Let me just say this
    At no time have I ever inserted my Gherkin into another pickle nor any chutney!
    I do however enjoy turning hills into terraced gardens
    Lets face it Im sacked with a pay off

  249. 249
    Joss Taskin says:

    No. I always sit like this.

  250. 250
    Operation Crossbow says:

    It makes you wonder how dumb Tories are. Lib Dems sunk boundary changes, but Lib Dems want a mansion tax on homes over 2 million.

    Seems obvious to me, Lib Dems support boundary changes and Tories bring in mansion tax.

    But Cameron is probably too busy listening to Osborne telling him supporting gay marriage is more important.

  251. 251
    Anonymous says:

    me me school.field schofield over.reacted.
    who is playing him?

    the media world is fundamentally changing, it is a tectonic tonic.
    the old establishment is going. out with the wornout, in with the new.

  252. 252
    Sally Bigcow says:

    I’ll be claiming legal aid in my fight against Lord McAlpine. You can’t expect me to spend my own money. Toodle pip!

  253. 253
    Giles Kenningham the beast of branston says:

    Look up just how much “chosen£ Hodge pulled in via a Jersey trust

  254. 254
    Gulp says:

    No you won’t. There is no legal aid available for libel actions.

  255. 255
    BodMot says:

    You work for the BBC and I claim my right to evade the TV Tax.

  256. 256
    Tom Watson says:

    I pushed back a cream cake once. Will never make that mistake again.

  257. 257
    Can you smell Mike Hunt says:

    Where is Watson? Has he gone to ground?

  258. 258
    Anonymous says:

    “PR guru Matthew Freud has been banned from driving after being caught at 117mph (188km/h) with his young son asleep in the front of the car.”

    He said that he was not used to the power of a Ferrari.

  259. 259
  260. 260
    Sherlock says:

    The game’s afoot

  261. 261
    Tom Watson says:

    Iam so fat I’ve not seen my cock seen 1989

  262. 262
  263. 263
    Really? says:

    Too stupid to look in the bathroom mirror.

  264. 264
    Handypara says:

    After an unusually sensible start on QT (advocating jail for Qatada if he cannot be extradited), Harman then reverts to type and calls for children to be allowed to speak out against teachers they claim have behaved inappropriately whether the teacher has been charged or not.
    Same mentality as Sch0field and this eejit!:

  265. 265
    AntiJuice Vs Hasba-rats Driving Up Page Views says:

    We’re all tired out.

  266. 266
    Sally Bigcow says:

    Gulp. I love the taste of jizz in the morning.

  267. 267
    Bud Abbott says:

    No, no, he’s on third base– we haven’t even discussed him yet!

  268. 268
  269. 269
    A fine pair of Lungs. I can prove it says:

    Thicko Hunts licking Bercow’s are.

  270. 270
    Taxpayer funded Sally says:

    So as Mrs speaker is funded by the taxpayer will Mr McAlpine also go easy on her as he did with the BBC?

  271. 271
    Leveson under fire. says:

    Crikey the D Mail has come out with not one, not two but three full on attacks on Brian Leveson this morning.

    Must admit at the time it did occur to me to wonder how he gave all lefties and luvvies a free ride while trying to ridicule anyone right of center.

  272. 272
    not a machine reloaded says:

    so they should , that piece on Daily Politics (round 2) on the move to legilsate , should be put on the TV at 6pm ….. yes press didnt clean up its act better , but do you really want a state controlled press …. i dont think so

  273. 273
    not a machine reloaded says:

    I dont know on Syria thing , I mean Assad is pretty much through , and theres a bit of tension on , but if they get the hang of democracy , should work out better all round . Its just if they can progress beyond jihad nutter stage ,if not it will just repeat

  274. 274
    Ehtch says:

    Pickles had an “interesting” time when he was a councillor in Bradford in the 1980s, you could say. Peculiar thatcherite fun and games were going on then, alledgedly and all that.

  275. 275
    Ehtch says:

    “Allegedly” even – told you I was rubbish at spelling. How I got a half-decent pass in O-level Eng Lang still baffles me.

  276. 276
    smoggie says:

    Do you not understand the difference between non-dom and non-resident? And you, a Tax Inspector.

    No wonder Amazon is laughing all the way to the Cayman Islands.

  277. 277
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    The low turnout was indicative of the complete disinterest of the general public. Everyone I’ve spoken to about this cannot understand why there needs to be a further layer of bureaucracy.

    Perhaps DC should start listening, although I’m not holding my breath.

  278. 278
    Moonbat Loon says:

    Oh don’t you know that c0ck and Balls will be elected on a tide of suicidal dendencies and self-destruction.

    Pollsters never lie, Labour are more popular than Blair was in ’97 don’t you know!

    Gibber Gibber!

  279. 279
    jgm2 says:

    Pleased to see that electoral deposits are doing their job and penalising time-wasting parties who stand for election. Yeah, Tories.

  280. 280
    Polly Toynbee says:

    Andy! Andy! Come on for fucks sake. I want a kebab.

  281. 281
    Peter Oborne says:

    Oooooh look who’s turned up. Andy Pretty Boy Rawnsley. Well you can just fuck off & get your manicure American Dad. Keep your nose out slag!

  282. 282
    Mike Fabricant says:

    יש לי מזג הרוח שלי על הבית של ישראל

  283. 283
    Twatson says:

    Oh yes we do.

  284. 284
    Goebbels says:

    I taught him everything he knows.

  285. 285
    Google says:

    זה ייגמר בבכי

  286. 286
    An empty polling booth says:

    I think that Teresa May should be considering her position today.

  287. 287
    Roger says:

    Thousands of UK teenagers cannot read well enough to understand their GCSE exam papers, a large-scale analysis of pupils’ reading ability suggests.

    The scandel of our education system under labour.

  288. 288
    Edukation etc says:

    The exam process is designed to uncover such things. The scandal is that their teachers have not done so and rectified the problem. By the way, the coalition are in government now. Did you not read the memo?

  289. 289
    English teacher says:


  290. 290
    SL4 PPA says:

    Anyone want to buy a customised number plate? I need the funds.

  291. 291
    RMS says:

    Seems to have a barry mcguigan moustache for some reason. Spad news is no news unless they’re on the end of the ministers cock (which to be fare most will be at some point). As for door kicking he needs to try some house clearing in Afghanistan first before getting all macho. He looks like he can send a spiteful email but that’s about it.

  292. 292
    albacore says:

    For showing he’s clueless, Dave ain’t arf a glutton
    (Though his finger’s still on the nuclear button)
    Still, with that unerring grasp of what’s a priority
    It won’t be long now before Brits are a minority

  293. 293
    Skintypoo says:

    Aha! A genuine cockney rhyming slag.

  294. 294
    The Land of the Politically Correct and Mendacious says:

    Not just GCSE students.There are literally a significant number of UK State Sector educated students starting University who are unable to string two sentences together either and their command of English is limited in comparison to foreign students.

  295. 295
    Skintypoo says:

    What a sauce he had.

  296. 296
    Skintypoo says:

    But with whose money???

  297. 297
    Skintypoo says:

    Old bag, it’s UNinterest, not Disinterest in this case. But we get the gist..

  298. 298
    Skintypoo says:

    Sbin lyk that fer the pas twenny yeerz matey

  299. 299
    Ehtch says:

    Anyone waiting for Corby? It is like watching paint dry. Like the way Corby think they are “special”, in not counting by-election votes at the usual time. Yes, they are special alright,

  300. 300
    Ehtch says:

    Rubbish Roger. It is all a public schoolers fart in space in known as the Brit media. Don’t believe a word of it. But I like the spelling mistakes on beebs freeview tellytext, updated from India, allegedly.

  301. 301
    Ehtch says:

    You must be a right perve to be thinking of shoe sizes, these days.

    But yes, she does seem to foghorn a bit on her twitter twatter.

    But who was that old fella, playing the victim, in a trembley put on voice yesterday? Not the same bloke who would sell his granny and the rest of us into slavery in the 1980s, surely not.

  302. 302
    Ehtch says:

    Why don’t Greggs sell tripe, with vineger? Always puzzled me that has. Ey Oliver/Nigella/Ricky Fish/Hugh Fernally-Wotisname?

  303. 303
    Ehtch says:

    Interesting, bro

    Us welsh like to say, he likes dandelion wine he does.

  304. 304
    Ehtch says:

    Tidy poem. Like poems, me.

    A SpAd went to work,
    with gossip computer.
    Online to some berk,
    saying say some other.

  305. 305
    Ehtch says:

    …or should I have said – Mongo like poems

    oh feck all that, here comes Dave…

  306. 306
    Ehtch says:

    Annual Wimbledon tennis each year is a severe mental illness, you unimaginative total tool. But there again, GO MURRAY! Hell of a lad he is, really like the fella, got balls you know.

  307. 307
    Ehtch says:

    Ach bugger it, since I have been asked elsewhere, might as well promote Dylan’s hundredth birthday starting now, down by here, for 2014, to keep them happy,

    and a vid of the man himself voiced, on old third programme beeb radio, or somewhere else, NYC no doubt, maybe,

  308. 308
    Ehtch says:

    Suggested to this New Yawk fella years ago, who lives there, to set up a Brit pub and call it The Dylan Thomas, in Greenwich Village, not that far from The Chelsea Hotel, but nothing came of it.

  309. 309
    Ehtch says:

    Might as well make a good job of it, Dylan, in The Village,

    Had a hand in this, when I helped Tom Knight with the Pendine West Wales clips, in the mid 1990s, when I was at a loose end, staying there. Wotsername irish lady was, umm, interesting. She worked and I suppose still does on children telly, producer or something for it these days. Stunning hair and cheekbones.

  310. 310
    HappyHour says:

    Take your advertising for a drunken, wife-beating tw*t elsewhere. I don’t want to come to a blog that is of the calibre that entertains him.

  311. 311
    Anonymous says:

    it is your decision.
    your life. your quality of life.

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers