November 14th, 2012

“Sick Individual” Steals Liz Kendall’s Lunch


  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    Thieves in Parliament?

    Surely some mistake? ;)

  2. 2
    smoggie says:

    Time to call in the CIA, FBI and MFI.

  3. 3
    Percy says:

    No….. a judge led inquiry at least……

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    Who is Liz Kendall?

  5. 5
    dunstall says:

    Or an overarching review!!!

  6. 6
    roland says:

    The thief maybe needed something to feed his pet rat

  7. 7
    Senna says:

    Next time she should make a lasagne for lunch and put a hundred laxatives in it. That will put an end to that nonsense.

  8. 8
    Hank the Cat says:

    Yet another troughing labour MP

    Liz Kendall, Labour MP for Leicester West, saw her expenses rise by £40,021.

    She said £114,521 of the £154,232 was for three full-time and one part-time staff in Leicester. She said: “That’s where the bulk of the money goes, not on my personal costs.

    “Thousands of people want our help and we want to have the right staff to provide that.”

  9. 9
    Margaret Moron says:

    I did it but I wasn’t in control. I’m all krazy! Just ask my shrink! Woop woop!

  10. 10
  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    Printed post-it notes!!

  12. 12
    Comment of the Day says:


  13. 13

    ¸.•*¨*•♫♪ You took the words right out of my mouth!!¸.•*¨*•♫♪

    ¸.•*¨*•♫♪ (It must have been while I was Google-ing her ¸.•*¨*•♫♪

  14. 14
    dunstall says:

    George Entwistle says it might have been him but if it was nobody told him and he cannot remember

  15. 15
    Senna says:

    She pays for their lunches too. The last food bill was on par with saving the Ethiopians from mass starvation.

  16. 16
    Hank the Cat says:

    Only two suspects Fatty watson or lard Prescott

  17. 17
    Gordon Gecko says:

    Lunch is for wimps.

  18. 18
    Anon & fcuk the B B C says:

    Acting DG has just said Newsnight will be doing a hour long special

    on this heinous crime as its all Fat*chers doing & no one else !!

    Panorama will also be carrying out an indepth review as to the


    The Beeb Chairman Fatty Fang Pang & the (dis)Trust board fully support

    such investigative reporting !!!

  19. 19
    dunstall says:

    Where Mc Shame ?

  20. 20
    Plato says:

    F’ucking briiliant :-). We used to piss about like this at Uni, now we behave like adults!!

    Advice to Liz: spit on some black forest and laugh when the f’ucker steals that!

  21. 21
    Anonymous says:

    Lord Pattern seems to have got 10 jobs. Does it count as 1 or 10 when government announces increasing employment?

  22. 22
    Plato says:

    Hahaha – and a £10 invoice to exe’s for printing it!

  23. 23
    Bill says:

    cheer up luv it was only your lunch. You been robbin the electorate for years.

    “Kendall grew up in Hertfordshire and attended Watford Grammar School for Girls. She then went up to Queens’ College, Cambridge graduating with a first in history in 1993. she has worked as Director of the Maternity Alliance charity, as a researcher for the King’s Fund, as an associate director for health, social care and children’s early years at the IPPR and has been a special adviser to two cabinet ministers, Patricia Hewitt and Harriet Harman.”

    another one who has been sucking from the public teat for years. never done a honest days work outside the public sector !!

  24. 24
    Ed Balls says:

    It was the baby eating government!

  25. 25
    Hank the Cat says:

    It was fatcher that stole her lunch

  26. 26
    Drop a Daisy cutter on ITV says:

    No PMQs today?

  27. 27
    Plato says:

    Which one-eyed loon do we know who uses a thick black pen??

  28. 28
    Anonymous says:

    Pressure mounts on BBC boss Lord Patten as he is accused of ‘taking his eye off the ball’ while holding TEN other jobs

    Read more:
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

  29. 29
    Frued says:

    What’s very, very sick about nicking food?

    Some perspective please, Liz.

  30. 30
    Expense Claim says:

    1 ream yellow paper – £25
    10 Hrs creative services – £300
    Hire of meeting room to discuss fonts – £180
    Food & beverage for above meeting – £280
    1 x Contract quality proof – £80
    Printing services (minimum run 5,000) – £175
    2Hr Courier service – £95

    + VAT

  31. 31
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    I repeat for the hard of hearing.

    There is no Plan B and this is result.

    FTSE 100 5747.80
    -38.45 -0.66%

  32. 32
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Does she know what a profit is?

  33. 33
    Drop a Daisy cutter on ITV says:

    British Aerospace
    First Group
    Virgin Rail

    All sucking at the taxpayer’s teat?

  34. 34
    Splurt says:


    An MP, apparently – I just Googled it. If I’d taken her lunch, I would have put something very very unpleasant in it, and placed it back in the fridge.

  35. 35
    Anonymous says:

    Ah yes, she looks 14

  36. 36
    Frued says:

    Obviously, Liz doesn’t consider that there’s been a mis-understanding, or that the cleaner chucked it out. No – somebody is a thief! Typical leftie…

  37. 37

    What sort of ingenuous tosser would put ANYTHING in a communal fridge! How bloody naive is this shadow minister? (What was it anyway? Tofu, bean sprout & falafel salad with a mung bean and wheat grass smoothie from Fortnums? On ex’s, of course!)

    With this level of smarts on display, it’s no wonder they can’t get the big questions right, ffs.

  38. 38
    Nom nom nom says:

    Or Useless Fatfuck Eric Pickles.

  39. 39
    Drop a Daisy cutter on ITV says:

    And triple-dip on the way…

  40. 40
    MPs (Massive pricks) says:

    Lazy fuckers are on recess again till next Monday.

  41. 41
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    Only TEN incomes ? Amateur !

  42. 42
    Gonk III says:

    Common ownership for the people

  43. 43
    Last Quango says:

    1. What type of saddo types a post it note?
    2. I think I left £500, a cartier watch and a mulberry bag in the fridge – where do I claim?

  44. 44
    Mark Oaten says:

    Ooooh !

  45. 45
    Mad Nads says:

    Bugger and I have flown back specially.

  46. 46
    Drop a Daisy cutter on ITV says:


  47. 47
    "Bunter" Watson 218 says:

    Liz…look honestly I did not steal your Pork Pie however…

    Fatty Pang was munching something it was prolly him

    In any case it was horribly stale and tasted of stocking tops…err umm
    or so I would imagine..

  48. 48
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Everyone who votes Libor needs help.

  49. 49
    Hahahaha says:

    Don’t give the cheeky b*tch ideas!!

  50. 50
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:


  51. 51
    The Mysterious Oliver Letwin says:

    I can assure you it wasn’t me.
    I definitely did not dispose of Liz’s lunch in the park.
    Oh no.

  52. 52
    Bill says:

    i want ot know what the lunch was and the cost of it. come on guido get the perpertration to post a pic online for us poor taxpapers to laught at.

    I myself had a can of chicken soup (85p) and 2 slices of bread. Total cost less than a pound. Also if you heat it at home you can put it into a vacuum flask and take it to work with you saving money !!!!

    So MPs you can eat cheaply.

  53. 53
    Last Quango says:

    Wish it finished

    Liz Kendall
    Room 101

  54. 54
    Ed Ballsup says:

    NASDAQ down 0.7%, DOW down 0.5%.

    Evil tory scum!

  55. 55
    Jimmy says:

    So we’re looking for someone who likes food and hangs around MPs.

    Any ideas?

  56. 56
    lunchboxbeast says:

    Id have just spunked all over it and then watched her eat it

    Then again I am a very sick individual

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:

    They’re custom post it notes. Minimum order 4 blocks.

  58. 58
    Ex graduate house dweller says:

    It happens, get over it.

  59. 59
    650 MPs, every one of them useless. says:

    “1. What type of saddo types a post it note?”

    Someone with nothing better to do.

  60. 60
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    All property is theft, Liz. It really isn’t your lunch so much as it’s that amount of food we allow you to have midday, barring a more-pressing need by someone else for it. That lunch may have made the difference between some poor staffer living or dying (some anorexic little bird with dysmorphia issues), and at a minimum may have been needed by a diabetic to regulate his/her blood sugar– or are you too heartless, too Tory, to understand?
    Now be quiet, and we’ll say no more about it, there’s a good lass.

  61. 61
    Anonymous says:

    And a great endless fucking crater when Miliwonk gets in.

  62. 62
    Hank the Cat says:

    Someone stole my kitty litter

  63. 63
    dunstall says:

    Rachel Reeves says ..although Im two sandwiches short of a picnic it wasnt me

  64. 64
    Jumbo says:

    Who is she?

  65. 65
    Jeremy 'TaxPlan' Paxman says:

    The FTSE stood at roughly that level in 2001. IF that’s your yardstick of economic competence, you’re a biddable BBC time-server and I claim my £5.

  66. 66
  67. 67
    A taxpayer says:

    I have never heard of her. But if she’s an MP then I have every sympathy.

  68. 68
    Hank the Cat says:

    Talking about dysmorphia issues wonder if, Abbot,harman.ladyboy cooper and the eagle sisters suffer from that

  69. 69
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Were you thinking of a fortyish man with a grey streak in his hair, maybe?
    Ed Miliband may be a lot of things, but I doubt he’s a lunch stealer– though I think that, after people having “eaten HIS lunch” all his life, he may have been tempted on occasion.

  70. 70
    Labour voting Hoon says:

    All property including Liz Kendell’s lunch is theft,so I took it.

  71. 71
    None of the above says:

    As it is not engraved into the fridge door it is not Gordo

  72. 72
    Not a BBC spokesperson says:

    There’ll be a special on tonight – we’ve been tweeting about this all day and whilst we cannot name names (identification is impossible as we can’t afford colour printing owing to the vicious cuts from this Tory led coallition), we will be telling everybody that it was a Tory wot dun it.
    We have absolutely no evidence to support this and it is completely untrue but given the unique way that we are funded, it didn’t stop us last time and it won’t stop us tonight.
    Thank you for your money – even those that are lower than vermin.

  73. 73
    Mike Handycock Teen Fondler says:

    Oh she would be one of mine then. Boaz.

  74. 74
    Dysgwr_Cymraeg says:

    She should put a note on it saying:
    ” I have spit in these sandwiches” Ha!
    Then when she returns she’ll find another note saying:
    “so have I!”

  75. 75
    dunstall says:

    Another useless cnut!!!

  76. 76
    Silly Sally B13 COW says:

  77. 77

    TWatson, I should think. Did he resemble a disintegrating Bunteresque figure, slight tics at the mention of the name “Murdoch”? Looks like a c.unt, talks like a c.unt? Types out post it notes?

    Yep – The Fat owl of Westminster strikes again, young James!

  78. 78
    Barack O'Barmy says:

    Its started in England, Londonshire

  79. 79
    A taxpayer says:

    Its in her bank account, whatever it is.

  80. 80
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Even more astonishing, eleven organisations actually employ and pay the useless and serial incompetent prick.

  81. 81
    Grauniad says:

    Before becoming an MP, she wrote for CiF as a Social Policy Consultant.

  82. 82
    Labour voting Hoon says:

    A Kendall fruit cake

  83. 83
    Tax is theft says:

    Why not stand up and use pariliamentary priviledge to accuse somebody close to no.10?

  84. 84
    Lard Pressclott - Laughing Policeman in waiting says:

    ‘Sick individual’…..

  85. 85
    Anonymous says:

    It’s Tom Watson or I’m a banana.

  86. 86
    Anonymous says:

    Someone that tellsya your future innit? Lika a gypsy woman at the fairground or a chancellor of the exchequer with his budget.

  87. 87
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Don’t socialists think it is socially responsible to feed the hungry anymore?
    Oh wait, they mean taking someone elses money and doing that, not using their own.

  88. 88

    Mouth full of Pikey again, lass?

  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    At the Fabian Society??

  90. 90
    Labour voting Hoon says:

    They will be if she didn’t wash her hands after having a shit.

  91. 91
    Silly Sally B13 COW says:

    Am not tweeting currently, just sitting near the letterbox, waiting for a summons fan mail.

  92. 92
    Anonymous says:

    Claim it on ex’s Nad.

  93. 93

    14 would appear to be her IQ.

  94. 94
    Hoist Them By Their Own Petard says:

    It’s called wealth redistribution Liz, you are discriminating against someone less fortunate with less opportunities for lunch.

  95. 95
    Forward! says:

    Well said comrade, from each according to their ability, to each according to their need and all that.

  96. 96
    fruitcake says:

    Hmm narrows it down to 600 odd…..voted there by…oh wait

  97. 97

    Yes I do no what a profit is, thank you, MR CLEVER CLOGS! That’s, like, Jesus or Moham-thingy, or Judas, I think…..

  98. 98
    Di Abbott says:

    {munch munch} ish washnert me…[munch munch}

  99. 99
    dunstall says:

    Was the sandwich Halal or Kosher ?narrows the field

  100. 100

    FTSE 100 when Gordmong went: 4838.

    Carry you the on, Twatty The LieBore Troll! (5751 now)

  101. 101
    The Doctor says:

    Is he contracted to do 3 to 4 day weeks for all 11 of the organisations? Has he found a way of creating time anomalies or has he cloned himself?

    Oh the thought of more than one Fatty Pang – I am not going to sleep much tonight!

  102. 102

    I’ll have whatever she’s having!!

  103. 103
    Al Fayed says:

    And the Gumbay Dance Band and Prince Philip – they were part of the conspiracy too you know.

  104. 104
    Michael Winner or some other sexist pig says:

    Close enough for an MP darling.

  105. 105
    Terry Thomas says:

    And these are the bar stewards who moaned about the antics of the publicity seeking scouser while they are skiving off for a quick holiday in November. What an utter shower!

  106. 106
    IMHO says:

    Funny, I was under the impression that 648 clowns had stolen MY lunch, they took it and they will do it AGAIN!.

  107. 107
    Uncle Monty says:

    Shurely “Glug, glug, hic!” for Di Abbott

  108. 108

    Or the earth to open up and swallow you, my little poisoned chalice?

  109. 109
    A number plate spotter says:

    I think you’ll that it’s Silly S88LLY.

  110. 110
    G'allah way says:

    Praise Halal.

  111. 111
    Only 644 thieving bastards to go says:

    I think you will find that there only 644 clowns at the moment.

  112. 112
    Ed Milibandwagon says:

    I demand a judge led enquiry!

  113. 113
    dunstall says:

    Very Clever LOL

  114. 114
    Fog says:

    Episode of ‘Friends’ – Ross having a breakdown because someone stole his sandwich.

  115. 115
    Minekiller says:

    Isn’t this just wealth redistribution? She should be happy that someone fellow comrade has benifted from her labours.

  116. 116
    IMHO says:

    But I take it that figure does not include upcoming By-Elections, pending fraud charges etc,

  117. 117
    8illy 8owden, the world's greatist umplre says:

    Comma missing after the first ‘Very’ (possibly after the second ‘Very’ too; can someone comment on this?).


  118. 118
    Looking forward says:

    So she actually went back to the fridge. Did she think it might be returned or what?

  119. 119
    8illy 8owden, the world's greatist umplre says:

    I trust we can rely on one of her colleagues to leave her something amusing tomorrow.

  120. 120
    JH3 says:

    A mate of mine did that with a piece of chocolate cake.

    Except it wasn’t spit it was garnished with. It was something that looked more like chocolate.

    He was never sure who ate it.

  121. 121
    JH3 says:

    ‘Social Policy Consultant’


    ‘Someone who likes to boss other people around’

  122. 122
    Joseph from Clapham says:

    Who is Liz Kendall?

  123. 123
    JH3 says:

    The lunth wath not thtolen.

    It wath pwedithtwibuted.

  124. 124
    nambawan pikinini bilong Misis kwin says:

    Or get a mate to decorate with some ejaculate

  125. 125
    Queen of the jungle says:

    I get grumpy if I don’t get my early morning sausage.

  126. 126
    Queen of the jungle says:


  127. 127
    Ideas for an empty blank sheet of paper (Para 1) says:

    Bread and jam and an orange does not need to be kept in the fridge.

    Who paid for the fridge by the way – and the electricity to run it?

  128. 128
    Ideas for an empty blank sheet of paper (Para 1) says:

    You gotta pick a packet or two-oo-oo….

  129. 129
    PC 51 says:

    Down the pub with Fabian of the Yard (fond memories for our older viewers)

  130. 130
    PC 51 says:

    That’s why she needed a history degree – to help her remember when she last filled in her exes forms.

  131. 131
    PC 51 says:

    Blimey! Just how many teats does this taxpayer have??

  132. 132
    PC 51 says:

    Triple dip sounds like a sherbert fountain!

  133. 133
    Det Sgt 51 (Been promoted!) says:

    Somebody with obviously recognisable hand writing?

  134. 134
    Det Sgt 51 (Been promoted!) says:

    No, dey don’t suffer from dysmorphia; dey suffer from datmorphia (for which there is no known cure)

  135. 135
    Det Sgt 51 (Been promoted!) says:

    “greatest’ mis-spelt too. Can someone comment on this?


  136. 136
    Det Ch Sup Lockhart says:

    Ah yes.

    Happy days

  137. 137
    Dixon of Dock Green says:

    Evenin’ All

  138. 138
    Bullington Big Girls Blouse says:

    ahhh you must be Mac’No’Shame…in your current disguise as a transvestite

    I claim my £5.00

  139. 139
    dunstall says:

    Andy crawfotd says…Hello George

  140. 140
    Bob Christmas says:

    BBC too.

  141. 141
  142. 142
    Bob Christmas says:

    Difficult for ordinary families to put food on the table. Better scrap the BBC licence fee.

  143. 143
    Dr Oetker MD says:

    She’s got AIDs.

    Still want some

  144. 144
    Dixon of Dock Green says:

    Congrats on your promotion.

    It took me 50 years to get to be a desk sergeant.

  145. 145
    William says:

    The shadow front bench would come back for more!

  146. 146

    No – dat is a medium!

    I am a large.

  147. 147
  148. 148
    George Dixon's Son Inlaw says:

    yes & Coppers always got there man….who would always say

    “Its a fair cop,Guv , I’ll come quietly”

    He knew he would be going down for a stretch…..

    If he couldn’t the time he wouldn’t do the crime………

    But today….just look at our so called elected MP’s what

    a shining examples of lying, thieving, hypocrisy they demonstrate


    Most of them should be banged up for a very long time……without

    a reduction in the Prison term spent inside because they were MP’s

    OR being able to enjoy all of the House of Commons Perks once they

    are out of clink. Something they all do very frequently at present &

    of course the fcuking Mug Tax payers are footing the cost as usual….

    are there any current MP’s who actually pay TAX like the plebs are

    forced to do, or do MP’s all find ways of fiddling the TAX back ??

  149. 149
    Anonymous says:

    Liz, the first thing to do is to put your lunch in an insulated bag and keep it in your office. Then make some sandwiches with a highly flavoured mayo or similar, containing a good dose of sennokot.(other vile things are available) place in fridge, stand back and let the thief have diarrhoea. It is not your resonsibility as they have eaten something they shouldnt !

  150. 150
    Anonymous says:

    Didnt you read the note the thief pinned to Liz s note. Wake up !

  151. 151
    IPSA says:

    We’ve ordered an individual fridge for each MP, with a lock, and a laser display screen on the front

  152. 152
    IMHO says:

    Wouldn’t that money be better spent on a walk in microwave ovens?.

  153. 153
    Baron Hogwash says:

    Hand writing expert needed – Fatson on the loose.

  154. 154
    Bunter Twatson says:

    Bit more salt next time please Liz.


  155. 155
    keredybretsa says:

    Pooh in a sandwich+pee in a drink and someone gets nasty sick. Usually puts a stop to such tricks!

  156. 156
    alan bread says:

    Chris Bryant, Ben Bradshaw and all the other benders would want to gobble that muck up..

  157. 157
    The savant6 says:

    Who with

    Her constituency ???

  158. 158
    The savant6 says:

    Yeah. Baby.

    And gweed. Is good !!

  159. 159
  160. 160
    cynic says:

    You cant have salt on it. Its bad for you

  161. 161
    Liz Kendal's Number One Fan says:

    I just confessed to it on Wikipedia but their bet said I was vandalising the site. How petty. Surely that’s better than vandalzing their fridge?

    I’d eat more than her lunch though. Hairy pie anyone with a pinch of fishy aroma?

  162. 162
    XXX says:

    It can’t be Gordy because he is never in the HoP

  163. 163
    XXX says:

    A very hot chilli pepper in the sandwiches

  164. 164
    Det Insp Chisholm says:

    I’ve long suspected the Gumbay Dance Band.

  165. 165
    Adolf Hilter says:

    Or shooting

  166. 166
    Dixon of Dock Green says:

    Bless you Andy.

  167. 167
    DI Jack Carter says:

    Shut It!!

  168. 168
    dunstall says:

    Give him the salt!

  169. 169
    Diddley says:

    Much better to bite the sandwiches through the cling film and put them back – causes all sorts of personal dilemmas….. I mean, just how hungry are you for ‘YOUR’ sandwiches.

  170. 170
    Peter Carter-Fuck says:

    Some bastard did this to me once. The next sandwiches I left in the fridge had rat poison in them. It never happened again.

Seen Elsewhere

Milburn Health Consultancy Worth £2 Million | Scrapbook
Stuart Broad Right, Peston Broadly Wrong | Ryan Bourne
The 38 Seats in England Yet to Select a Tory Candidate | ConHome
Labour and Green Ecofascism | Matthew Walsh
Burnham Shows Why Labour Can’t Be Trusted | Speccie
Why Online Voting is a Crap Idea | Ballot Box
Time We Showed Super Rich Some Love | Alice Thomson
We Need True Popular Capitalism | Maurice Saatchi
Labour’s Winning Hand | Sebastian Shakespeare
We Defend Labour’s Record | John Hutton and Alan Milburn
100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers