November 13th, 2012

Nadine Camel Toe Eating Live Blog


170 Comments

  1. 1
    Box of tissues says:

    Are you having a Barclays, Guido?

    Like

  2. 2
    Rupert my Hero says:

    Muff diving, Live on TV? well muff eating any way

    Like

  3. 3
    Newsnight Producer says:

    Tonight, we have an exclusive report! Not sure on what. I’d ask Tim Davie but he said he’s never heard of Newsnight before. Funny. That’s exactly what George said too.

    Like

    • 148
      Ehtch says:

      Ceylon/Sri Lanka Tamil human shields, wasn’t it? Took them a while to report that. Maybe due to cuts at Newsnight, to pay for all those hyper-inflated wages those dogs upstairs at Shepherds Bush pay themselves for sitting on their fannies spouting hot air in sky blue thinking meetings.

      2012 beeb spoof comedy was very close to home, wasn’t it? My favorite episode and clip of it,

      Like

  4. 4
    Joe Public says:

    Should that be two separate sentences?

    Like

  5. 5
    Narcissistic Sociopathic Parasite. says:

    She can eat her own shite!

    Like

  6. 7
  7. 8
    Dave, your PC Prime Minister says:

    Meanwhile, I’m fed up about this Abu Qatada chappie. We’ve got armed plods wandering around airports and millions of CCTV cameras watching ordinary innocent British citizens, but we can’t deport a known terrorist agitator back to his own country.

    Does all this mean I am a totally useless waste of space?

    Like

    • 10
      Wibbly Wobbly Dave says:

      I’ll get back to you after I’ve finished chillaxing.

      Like

    • 11
      Mark Thatcher.. says:

      Well cheer up Dave …I mean your not a peedo are you. So thats alright then..I have a spare bedroom for you when you decide to run and hide..(Nudge nudge)

      Like

    • 12
      St.Tone the Action Man says:

      Do you want me to arrange a rendition trip to Guantanamo?

      Like

      • 16
        The British Public says:

        Yes – for you

        Like

      • 87
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Ughh No Tone.
        So Cameron is ‘fed up’ with Qatada! – Di Dums – we’re [The public] all fed up with him

        So why don’t Cameron and his FO honcho Haige and the Home Office – do a little bit of what ‘we don’t do’ – according to Jack Straw and Daivid millipede – like a nice little rendition [after abduction] flight to Jordan – ergo problem solved and deny that we [Government] do do rendition flighs.

        “Torture” – Had to laugh at the inverted logic of the ‘we don’t do torture’ to get statements out of people [just get others to do it for us - like Ghaddafi eh] protestations by so many!

        Get your Finger out from up your useless bum Cameron – “fed up” – then do something about it you procrastinating useless low-life bullingdon twat.

        As for your walk around Bristol promoting your tory candidate for the PCC – don’t you want to mention the now exposed Dorset tory candidate Nick Nick King who has been selling himself as some kinda big businessman while he hid [Only days ago exposed into the public domain] desperately attempted to ‘hide his CCJ’s’ from the Dorset Public?

        David – get your finger out.

        Like

    • 14
      Richard Milhouse Nixon says:

      Bullet in the back of the head will sort it

      Like

    • 69
      Bit.ly says:

      You’re the Prime Minister right? So grow a pair, stick the tosser on a plane to Jordan and stick two fingers up to all the bleeding heart liberals. If Abdul wants to appeal let him do it from a Jordanian prison cell and pay for his own expensive lawyers. At the same time ship his entire bloody family over there with him as we wouldn’t want to deprive him of a “right to family life” would we.

      You might even get elected with a majority next time around

      Like

  8. 17
    216.32.141.23 says:

    We have heard no more about Hush Puppies, Portaloos and water lillies.

    Like

    • 25
      Uncleken childs entertainer says:

      May I just say this…
      These “Ward /dormiTORY” creepers are worn for a very genuine medical reason
      The Children cant’ hear me approaching (I have no desire to wake them) and they allow the nursing staff to sleep soundly whilst surrounded by chocolate boxes and empty takeaway debris
      And “Hush puppy” is the way that I always greet my younger constituents when good old uncle Ken catches them by surprise
      I hope that we can all now move on from this noncesense
      Ken

      Like

    • 40
      Anal Discharge says:

      Please don’t mention Portaloos

      Like

  9. 19
    Thebeastofwardf9 says:

    Typical nurse
    Massive arse
    Will not eat nutricious food
    Sense of entitlement
    Leaves her place of work when needed
    Massive arse
    Runs away from bugs rather than killing them
    Massive arse
    Doesnt know her fat arse from her bingo wings
    Massive arse
    Inclined to steal and hector
    Oh and did I mention that she has a massive arse?

    Like

  10. 21
    Salivator says:

    When are we going to get a picture of your camel toe Nads? I can’t hold myself in readiness much longer.

    Like

    • 95
      Pervy eyes on the jungle says:

      More important when are we going to get a close up of Nad’s nip’s

      hopefully in a wet tee shirt. Cor, just got stiff.

      Like

  11. 22
    National Socialist says:

    ‘The Long Parliament’
    ‘The Barebones Parliament’

    ‘The Omnishambles Parliament’

    GCSE History from next September

    Like

    • 27
      PC BBC Editor-in-Chief says:

      No chance of any TV cover I’m afraid. All our history programmes are about the Third Reich.

      We can’t waste valuable schedule time on Uncle Joe, Chairman Mao, Pol Pot, or any other of the many murderous leaders, let alone the story of our own ConLibDum crappy little shambles.

      Like

    • 134
      Action Man says:

      You forgot the Rump (y pumpy) Parliament. Got to keep the history books up to date!

      (You can take rumpy pumpy in more than one way too!)

      Like

  12. 23
    As the Bishop said to the Actress says:

    http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5g6iPjRwnXQLTKtRBNjT4RDpLc1rA?docId=CNG.f94755bf1c96d71948c8a0b1e2c0e8e1.811

    “The Church of England is cooperating”

    Thank God for that, at least…

    Like

  13. 24
    Oh dear, Dave says:

    “The Conservative MP running the party’s byelection bid in Corby has been secretly filmed apparently supporting the campaign of a rival candidate.

    Chris Heaton-Harris, who is campaign manager for the Tories in Corby, was recorded saying he encouraged an anti-wind farm candidate to join the election race against the Tories, adding: “Please don’t tell anybody ever.”

    Like

  14. 26
    Cicciolina Squeakeress says:

    I am jealous of Nads

    She is outdoing me in fuckwittery

    Who would have though it possible?

    Like

  15. 29
    bush fucker trail says:

    I want to see Nadine bent over a log with her pink knickers around her ankles.

    Like

    • 33
      Anonymous says:

      Have you notice how photoshopped the publicity pics were ? she looks huge on tv.

      Like

    • 34
      Salivator says:

      Transverse or length wise pose for the logarythym

      Like

    • 37
      Dr Freud said all women suffer from penis envy says:

      Is that you Prezza?

      Haven’t heard from you for a while….

      Still getting it up old chap?

      Will you take a tasty young policewoman over her desk when you become commander in chief of Police Forces north of the Humber?

      Like

      • 74
        Lard Prezza says:

        I could quite go for this celebrity in jungle lark. I quite fancy a couple of buckets of invertebrate for brecky. And some snake..I love a good long snake…An’ some koala bollocks. oh yep..a plate of ‘em do me nice fer me tea.

        Like

    • 44
      Slideshow Bob says:

      Will no one mention Helen’s melons?

      Like

  16. 35
    Ken QC(queerc*&^%) says:

    Just because I sucked on a few fags in my days….
    No let me finish !!!
    And the fact that my wife looks like Mr Kiplings bit on the side
    Does in no way justify accusations that I enjoy juggling sessions with teenage boys
    Contrary to popular belief I enjoy JAZZ sessions not JIZZ sessions

    See you in the house of frauds

    Like

  17. 36
    8illy 8owden, the world's greatist umplre says:

    You would, wouldn’t you.

    Like

  18. 45
  19. 46
    The Chief Whip Etonian baronet if you please says:

    Guido

    I want you to know that I secretly admire Our Nads

    I have told Dave that I will let her off with a slap on the wrist

    Perhaps she can renew the contact between the Tory party and the British people which seems to be sorely lacking at the moment

    Like

  20. 51
    Saffron says:

    Well what an omnishambles (new term) for the Beeboids,what an absolute pigs ear they are making of this.
    They are all at the blame and stabbing in the back game,when oh when is someone in this management bloated outfit going to stand up and be counted.
    Is Patton the correct person to be in charge of the beeb trust,well so far absolutely not,in that he seems to blow fair weather and foul,but he is well paid for his invaluable opinion.
    This left wing shite organisation needs to be disbanded in that years ago they ceased to be impartial and were infested with left wing assholes who were the product of liebour lies and spin.
    My hope is that if we can cut through all this attempted cover up of children being sexually abused wherever it took place then we might as a country gain some respect.
    Our national broadcaster if they were involved in anything like child exploitation is an absolute disgrace and whoever was involved needs exposing and needs to face the full rigour of the law.
    IT IS OUR GOD GIVER DUTY TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN AS THEY CANNOT PROTECT THEMSELVES AGAINST MATURE SEXUAL DEVIANTS WHO WANT TO EXPLOIT THEM.

    Like

    • 72
      Anonymous says:

      For some reason your last sentence reminds me of the posturing of Catholic bishops and the subsequent exposure of their own personal deviant behaviour.

      Like

      • 104
        Rabbi Burns says:

        They were also raving fanatical lunatics,enough already of these amateur dramatics, you are giving me a headache saffy.

        Like

    • 91
      Anonymous says:

      I am sorry but the problem is that you think this country is a respectable place.

      Having been to many, so called underdeveloped, countries the difference is obvious. Get away from the hotels and the airports and find the people. They care for their children. Some have some strange ways (in our view) to care, but it is still care, as they consider the children as the future.

      We even had a head of the CBI condemning generally all the UK young and demanding the import of other peoples children. His message was that the UK will not survive without them. Our children were defective. What did that message do to a whole generation?

      As we can see in the BBC farce, there is no one left with any integrity. The Judicial system has never had integrity, only opportunity for gain. The political system is a vacuum of honesty. Now where is that leader with strength that emerges in a crisis. The one that would do well as a dictator, and gets to the top only when a crisis occurs and none of the weak want the role?

      Like

      • 110
        Oswald Mosley says:

        See, this is what I was saying all along, the “Fuhrerprinzip,” but all you wallies were too scared.

        Like

  21. 52
    Moussa Koussa's pet meerkat says:

    What’s the blue thing next to her fanny?

    Like

  22. 54
    Shit floats says:

    What a sad cow.

    Like

    • 60
      Sally Barecow says:

      Are you talkin’ bout me, den?
      Don’cha farkin’ start on me mate..i’ll smash yer farkin’ face in..

      {Sent from my husband’s taxpayer paid for ipad.}

      Like

  23. 55
    socialism is a mental illness says:

    ……I would……………….

    Like

  24. 63
    Silly Sally B13 COW says:

    I’ve been very quiet on Twitter of late…..just one quick retweet…

    Like

  25. 64
    Gordon the Medicated says:

    My favourite colour is red. Red like my daddies politics.
    Actually, they were more yellow than red..So yellow it is…wait! Of course not..my favourite colour is gold..gold gold gold..and Brown of course. Coz that’s me name..Mr Brown..

    Actually how about I just mix red, yellow, brown and gold together..what colour does that make?

    Like

  26. 66
    Panda Eyes says:

    Like

    • 68
      Ed Moribund. says:

      Notice something? I never called for a judge led inquiry or for anyone to be ‘resigned’ at the BBC.

      I’ve been strangely silent.

      Like

    • 70
      RED ED MILLIONAIREBAND says:

      Predistribute that immediately !!

      Like

    • 77
      Anonymous says:

      I bet Klass is already in court seeking an anti-stalker order.

      Like

    • 80
      JimmyHushpuppies says:

      Why does he always look as if Jimmy Savile is stood behind him ?

      Ed Idemandaninguiryband is even more socialy inept than McMental
      Raw fear every time a camera is pointed at him
      Stood next to Myleene Klass my hand would be right on her arse and doing that second finger down the crack thingy that we all do
      At Least Prescott knew how to molest a woman

      Like

  27. 67
    JimmyHushpuppies says:

    They dont make a sound on your late night rounds
    Sound as pounds
    Clarkes the shoes you only buy once
    Just after you have decided to be a nonce

    Like

  28. 73
    Ex Ex Ex Ah! Monika says:

    Fiona Bruce really acting the News tonight. . Isn’t she too old yet?

    Like

  29. 75
    Bit.ly says:

    Guido’s Asylum is now closing for the night.

    Like

  30. 76
    Saffron says:

    Regarding the BBC if cammoron grew a pair and if he had any sense he would realise how much of a millstone is around the tories neck due to this bunch of lefties.
    Cammoron grow up,stop being PR/PR/PR and photoshoot and start to see the forest from the trees.
    As lots of your backbenchers are now telling you,are you intent on destroying the tory party to let in a bunch of commies which is a failed ideology,as we have seen.
    If that is so then my friend you are no leader of this nation and the sooner you are replaced by a proper conservative the better.

    Like

  31. 78
    Anal Discharge says:

    Did you see her eating anus.

    Made me smile and fart at the same time. Bliss.

    Like

  32. 84
    Drop a Daisy cutter on ITV says:

    “Did you see her eating anus.”

    Whose?

    Like

    • 89
      JimmyHushpuppies says:

      Its part of the job darling
      Anal PIE (yes you Harman at the back)
      My solution is to wall them in
      They can only drink Thames water (the raw stuff) and slowly starve to death if they don’t eat the execrement posted through a charity hatch
      And when they have had enough we slowly feed them through a band saw
      Sideways(the bandsaw must be coated in phosphourus)
      The really delusional ones should be thrown (covered in bacon) to the big cats at Regents park zoo before paying Chinese tourists
      We could pay the national debt off in a week

      Like

      • 138
        Don't u rock me daddy-O says:

        Would you allow a one-way (in only) door for lawyers, bankers, estate agents, Europhiles etc?

        Like

  33. 86
    Puzzled by Newsnight tonight says:

    Why has Emily Nomate’s frock got a zippper just above her tits?

    Like

  34. 94
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Is there really 23 thousand people employed at the bBBC?

    What on earth do they all do?

    Like

    • 105
      Anal Discharge says:

      Sitting behind a desk practicing talking a load of bollocks,

      hoping to be selected as a no news presenter.

      Like

    • 150
      The Land of the Politically Correct and Mendacious says:

      Twittering and tweeting(oh….AND updating their facebook page)

      Like

    • 165
      Tax is theft says:

      Checking that the audience for Question Time are carrying their Labour Party membership cards – no card, no admittance.

      Like

  35. 96
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am sorry to hear about Mrs Moran’s poor health, I hope she gets well soon.

    I am a doctor.

    Like

  36. 102
    An unlikely supporter says:

    Well that came as a surprise. Lembit Opik was on Newsnight discussing Nads and he praised her and her decision to go on I’m a Celebrity. He even said it’s a disgrace the way she’s disrespected by some people in the Commons and said she’s brave to go on the show.

    Like

    • 109
      Anonymous says:

      Also a piece about Polly Toynbee wanting soap writers to introduce political issues into their story lines, soviet style. Jeez, lefties are so fucking thick it makes you weep.

      Like

    • 111
      Anal Discharge says:

      But he never said she would get a boot in the arse at the next election.

      Funny how taking the piss out of plebs puts you out of a job.

      Like

  37. 106
    Jimmy says:

    So chateaubriand’s what they’re calling it nowadays is it?

    Like

  38. 108
    MILF Watch says:

    I wouldn’t mind a soapy tit wank from her.

    Like

    • 114
      John Holmes 13 inches says:

      I tried it with a bird with fried eggs once, a total waste of time.

      I get more pleasure doing it Jimmy style: Flat top and under sixteen.

      Like

  39. 112
    Ploppy Toynbee says:

    I’m disgusted by this government! Not sure what about! My default position is to be disgusted by this government! Look, I have to think of something to type on my laptop from my balcony in Tuscany.

    Like

  40. 113
    Gordon Brown says:

    My street name is ‘knobhead.’

    Like

  41. 118
    Lord Hutton says:

    Can I just add that I have investigated Nadine Dorries’ involvement in this programme thoroughly. My investigations included an all-expenses trip to Australia in which I spent a very agreeable week in Canberra in the company of friends on the Australian Supreme Court.

    In conclusion, I have decided to clear Nadine of all wrong-doing. Furthermore, after watching ‘Dark Charisma’, the BBC programme on Hitler, it is clear that Herr Adolf Hitler was in no way culpable for the Second World War and in fact the German Chancellor was completely innocent.

    Furthermore, I wish to announce the posthumous acquittal of Fred and Rosemary West.

    Like

    • 123
      Anal Discharge says:

      So thats a good night from Fred and a good night from Rosemary.

      Good Night the Beeb is shutting down now viewers.

      Like

  42. 120
    David Starkey, Looks Good In Khaki says:

    Oh do shut up you Establishment New Labour twitty ponce!

    What I do find encouraging about Nadine’s involvement in the jungle programme is that it does bring to wider public attention the attractions of khaki.

    If we go back to the Middle Ages, khaki was worn all of the time, and even in the early days of Australian bush-whacking, khaki was THE garment of choice.

    It’s obvious that this flexible, versatile, low-cost option is the key to a couture revolution.

    What a shame other politicians are not following Nadine’s lead and wearing khaki in the House of Commons. Even that silly Bagshawe girl might make a comeback if there was a rise in the fashion stakes!

    Like

    • 124
      Thebeastofthetoweroflondon says:

      You are taking the pith?

      Like

    • 141
      Today's factoid says:

      Khaki (pronounced cacky) was named after regular “accidents” involving Colonial staff in the tropical wastes. The perfect colour to hide the shitstaynes.

      Not a lot of people know (now knew) that.

      Like

  43. 121
    go-go-gonads says:

    Just how did this slapper get so fat?
    I enjoy a doughnut
    A bowl of hot chocolate and a croissant

    Toast and honey (with butter)
    Uberfat channel Islands milk
    And that’s just to start the day
    However, have a flat tummy
    It just passes after your body has taken what it needs
    This lumpen swamp thing obviously eats tampons and McDonalds on expenses
    Stick her in a cage over a BBQ and a P45

    Like

    • 125
      Nads Tits says:

      You Bitch

      Like

    • 155
      Ehtch says:

      It’s in the glands. Like the way all this marketing low fat when the actual problem is hormonal signalling with sugery carb only drinks with no protein or fat. Carbohydrate only drinks are poison, sends the insulin signalling sites in the body nuts, therefore some people pile on the weight. Sorry if that is too biological technical. Fat puts on less fat, even though it is high in calories – sounds stupid, but it is true.

      Like

  44. 122
    Peter Hitchens says:

    Fucking hell, I’m sick of this celebrity jungle shite. Even the Mail runs it. Arse!

    Like

  45. 127
    Bill & Ben says:

    Fuck this we are of to bed

    Like

  46. 131
    Witch King of Angmar says:

    There was a lady
    Who drove a taxpayer’s Mercedes
    And went to the jungle for love.

    Gold is her God
    She’s as fat as a sod
    But I’d give her one up her fat bum.

    So mid Bedfordshire
    Knows politicians are queer
    I’m a voter get me out of here.

    Like

  47. 142

    Oh dear! They do get a bit over-excited here sometimes.

    Still, they have all tired themselves out now.

    Now what was the serious point? Ah yes! Shutting down the BBC.

    Like

  48. 143
    Wynn D Miller says:

    At least this guy seems to be pushing in roughly the right direction :
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9676256/Job-done-on-wind-farms-says-John-Hayes.html
    Grow a pair, Dave, and tell the Limp-Dumbs to fuck off.

    Like

  49. 144
    Wynn D Miller says:

    How come Gore hasn’t been sectioned yet ?
    Or is that not what they do the other side of the pond ?
    http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2012/nov/13/al-gore-barack-obama-climate-change

    Like

    • 152
      Ehtch says:

      Climate change is too far gone now, humanity is now too far out of control. In a few years the Arctic Ocean will be such, and ocean of water, and not ice, and then we will be in big trouble. Sorry to doom mong.

      Like

    • 163
      1984 says:

      ‘Climate change’ has fuck all to do with hurricanes. There is a well established pattern of intensity and frequency of hurricanes. It follows a sixty or so year cycle. The US has data going back almost 200 years and knows this but these cynical anti-scientists never lose an opportunity to blame an isolated weather event on ‘global warming’.

      Like

  50. 153
    Ehtch says:

    Song for Apps, for your pocket sized bunch of electronics and software, that will be put into the recycling bin in a year,

    Like

  51. 157
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    Did I just hear something growl? ‘Strewth!

    Like

  52. 160
    Telegram for Mongo Camoron says:

    This seems particularly apt right now :

    Pay attention, Dave.

    Like

  53. 161
    You're born: You live: You die. That is all. says:

    Totty Watch!

    Like

  54. 164
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    But I told you all yesterday to short everything.

    This mornings unemployment figures will be shit !!

    FTSE 100 5755.29
    Down
    -30.96 -0.54%

    Like

    • 166
      Bluebottle says:

      If the unemployment figures are up the market should go up because it will prove that with fewer people producing the same amount we are more productive .

      At times I do not think you know what you are talking about .

      Like


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