November 9th, 2012

Friday Caption Contest (Schofield Groping Scandal Edition)

Guido went to see Argo this week – the story behind the Iranian hostage crisis.

Guido enjoyed it but Mrs Fawkes enjoyed it even more with Ben Affleck.

Today’s winner gets a t-shirt from the film.

Usual rules, like being funny, apply.


  1. 1
    Phillip says:

    It took me three minutes to take just a cursory look at her arse.

  2. 2
    Steve Miliband says:

    Celebrations are a trifle early

  3. 3
    Earl Woodford says:

    It wasn(t me! It was my dead brother

  4. 5
    Carl says:

    “Shut up woman, Gordon the Gofer never put up this much of a fight”.

  5. 6
    Dennis McShane's Shed says:

    This new Gordon the Gopher puppet is fantastic. Now, where does my hand go?

  6. 8
    I don't n e e d no doctor says:

    Schofield behind the curve again.

  7. 9
    Pitchfork wielding Buchananion says:

    “And the next episode of Jackanory comes from our studio in Kent”

  8. 10
    Dorian Smith says:

    “I haven’t got to grips with such a big arse since I interviewed Ed Balls”.

  9. 11
    Steve Miliband says:

    ”Philip!! I am not Gordon the Gopher! You can’t stick your hand up my arse!”

  10. 12
    Gez says:

    “I found these buns on the Internet”

  11. 13

    This wasn’t on the list!

    No, but its been on my list for ages.

  12. 14
    Stuart says:

    Fair cop gov

  13. 15
    Dan Foote says:

    Funny, every time I put my hands on your arse, your mouth opens!

  14. 16

    ‘Oh Holly, please let me climb up their to hide till this all goes away’

  15. 17
    John Lawless says:

    He said ‘witch hunt’ not ‘which Hunt’!

  16. 20
    Calvin says:

    ITV realises it was a mistake to bring Boris on board as a creative consultant

  17. 21

    you say you want to see my broom cupboard ?

  18. 22
    Brent Fraser says:

    “This is how to treat women – I looked it up on the Internet.”

  19. 23
    johnwardmedway says:

    “Why is your unborn baby at the back?”

  20. 24
    Ed's Ballbag says:

    Proof! It wasn’t just a google search!

  21. 25
    Hand me a Google list says:

    “gordon the gopher was much easier to abuse”

  22. 26
    Philip Schofield says:

    The internet is full of scurrilous rumours and faked pictures and nobody should pay any attention to it.

  23. 27
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    You’re all just jealous, I certainly am.

    That’s gordon the gopher in the nude.

  24. 28
    Ferret says:

    Oh, Philip! Three minutes searching on the internet clearly isn’t long enough to help you find the bean.

  25. 29
    Gez says:

    Phillip Schofield quickly finds somewhere to hide from the media

  26. 30
    None of the above says:

    mmm smells of Lemon, Keith Lemon.

  27. 30
    Philip Schofield says:

    Trust me Holly I read it on the internet, it’s the latest form of faith healing.

  28. 33
    Baron Hogwash says:

    Philip puts his hands to work looking for more names!

  29. 34

    And today on This Morning, what to do if you’ve accidentally sat in superglue.

  30. 35
    Steve Miliband says:

    Schofield enjoys the Craic with Holly

  31. 36

    Which one is the biggest prize arse?

  32. 37
    bluerobbo69 says:

    Yes it is a big Arse! But i’m a bigger one.

  33. 38
    I have a little list says:

    Let’s see what shit I can massage out for today’s programme.

  34. 39
    Boulay says:

    And this is how lord mcalpine’s lawyers going to hand my arse to me

  35. 40
    Adam n Eve's uncle says:

    Gordon the gopher was much more cooperative

  36. 41
    Tom Watson says:

    Meanwhile I have found evidence Murdoch is a kiddy fiddler.
    A young boy told me he shares his bed with ‘Rupert’ every night.
    Wears Yellow Tartan trousers and a scarf apparently.
    What a perv.

  37. 42
    markabrown says:

    No Philip, the PM said you had a hand in a “pretty tasteless and silly stunt”. I think there’s been a terrible misunderstanding here….

  38. 44
    arse says:


    (_!_) a regular arse

    (__!__) a fat arse

    (!) a tight arse

    (_*_) a sore arse

    {_!_} a swishy arse

    (_o_) an arse that’s been around

    (_x_) kiss my arse

    (_X_) leave my arse alone

    (_zzz_) a tired arse

    (_E=mc2_) a smart arse

    (_$_) Money coming out of his arse

    (_?_) Dumb Arse

  39. 45
    James says:

    Some old men watch bored (and boring) dancing lady. Pretty tasteless but not illegal.

  40. 46
    lastofthesummervintage says:

    I wonder if this ass is made of memory foam

  41. 47
    Witchfinder General says:

    Hmm, not as tight as a Welsh boy….

  42. 48
    allegedly says:

    i got nicked in new zealand for sucking off a 11 year old… next thing i know i’m working for the bbc!

  43. 49
    Vixter says:

    Schofield gives the thumbs up!

  44. 50
    beast says:

    Gopher it!

  45. 51
  46. 52
    nclosing says:

    That Scholfield’s got some cheek…

  47. 53
    beast says:

    Schofield probe

  48. 54
    BBC Research dept. says:

    Schofield does a size check before making an arse of himself.

  49. 56
    dollymylove says:

    Well, if I’m getting a bum press, then so should you..

  50. 57

    Philip’s second ambush of the day

  51. 58
    Nobby says:

    “Ohhh ohhh ohhh, come on and do the conga”

  52. 59
    None of the above says:

    So I Googled ‘smash your back doors in’.

  53. 60
    Sniper says:

    Schofe practices for his forthcoming appearance at the Old Bailey.

  54. 61
    Roscoe Rules says:

    Holly,Rub some Anusol on him.

  55. 62
    pissed off voter says:

    from one arse to another …

  56. 63
    markabrown says:

    80′s child icon in remake typo horror as Gordon the Groper makes unlikely TV show appearance….

  57. 64
    beast says:

    Philip Sofeeled

  58. 65
    Philip says:

    Still prefer Jasons

  59. 66
    Gordon the Gopher says:

    That’s nothing compared to what he did to me.

  60. 67
    Legal Crook says:

    Schofield – ‘Your wrong, your mouth is still bigger’

  61. 69

    How to perform brainwashing on a blonde

  62. 70
    Call me Dave says:

    I only warned him yesterday about hunting Witches.

  63. 72
    mike says:

    So you think the list was a ‘tasteless and silly stunt’ ?

    …well let’s see what you make of this!

  64. 73
    The History man says:

    The cracks in ITV are showing.

  65. 75
    Tom Tomos says:

    It says here, “Freddie Starr ate my Belvoir!”

  66. 76
    Roscoe Rules says:

    ‘Back,sack and crack’ not necessarily in that order

  67. 77
    beast says:

    Nonce Phillip

  68. 78
    Phil says:

    Gordon never squealed Holly.

  69. 79
    The History man says:

    Don’t sit down, Holly. You’ll crush my gopher.

  70. 80
    Steve Miliband says:

    After a three-minute ‘cursory glance’ at the internet, Schofield hits a Bum note

  71. 81
    Rhonddablue says:

    You’ll be clenching these automatically when I hand my list to Cameron.

  72. 82
    pissed off voter says:

    Schofield shows he can make an arse-up as well as a cock-up. Definitely MP material.

  73. 83
    Peter Grant says:

    Philip Schofield: “Well, if yesterday’s stunt doesn’t get me sacked, then nothing will! So, what the Hell? Phwooaarrr! Never really had the inclination when Fern was on the sofa!”

  74. 84
    Steve Miliband says:

    The search for Holly’s brain continues

  75. 85
    pissed off voter says:

    Spot the ass.

  76. 86
    Anonymous says:

    You’re not from North Wales

  77. 87
    dollymylove says:

    “Stop it Feel! Aren’t you in enough trouble already”?

  78. 88
    Go For Gordon says:

    I bet Schofield was skating on thin ice with his missus after that.

    Who is this Willerby woman anyway? Don’t they make caravans in Hull?

  79. 89
    pissed off voter says:

    Source of Schofield’s patter exposed.

  80. 90
    The Anglo Saxon says:

    Schofield, looking for some more shit to dish out.

  81. 92
    Rich says:

    “I see an old man in your in your future. And in you.”

  82. 93
    Barb's Barbs says:

    Gordon the Groper

  83. 94
    Rich says:

    “I see an old man in your future. And in you.”

  84. 95
    Mark Oaten says:

    No, no, no, you’re doing it all wrong. Her knickers have to be off, for a start…

  85. 96
    himindoors says:

    C’mon, let the witch see the broom cupboard…

  86. 97
    dollymylove says:

    “I never leave my friends behind..”

  87. 98
    Peter Grimes says:

    I’ve just made a complete arse of myself, about 100 times bigger than this.

  88. 99
    Porn inc says:

    New BBC sodomy drama, starring a prick and an arse.

  89. 100
    the fish says:

    ‘You see, proof, I am not a kiddie fiddler’

  90. 101
    Erskine May says:

    I can’t be fucking arsed to think of a caption.

  91. 102
    auguste1 says:

    Of course you can’t hear anything Phillip , it’s your arse they are talking about !

  92. 103
    Snaplegs says:

    “It’s going to be a long time till I get my hands on one of these again”

  93. 105
    Anonymous says:

    You would all fuck her.

  94. 106
    Cooperm4n says:

    That Keith fellah is wrong…this looks much more like the Mitchell brothers…

  95. 107
    Nonny Mouse says:

    Fatuous arse gropes fat arse!

  96. 108
    dollymylove says:

    “OMG! Is that Ofcom in there on the sofa ?”

  97. 109
    Bill Wagstick says:

    Up your endo

  98. 110
    sweat in gordon's crack says:

    Unfortunately there may have been a misjudged camera angle for a split second as I warmed my hands on the oven.

  99. 111
    News inter says:

    I,ll get to th bottom of this.

  100. 111
    Terrible But True says:

    “Don’t worry, come the inquiry the BBC will ensure no one ever recalls I worked for them either”

  101. 113

    “I do feel a complete arse. And a right tit. I made a big cockup. What a bummer.”

  102. 114
    Rovers Return says:

    Actor Bill Tarmey, who played Jack Duckworth in ITV soap Coronation Street, has died.

  103. 115
    markabrown says:

    With Christmas around the corner, Schofield misheard the instruction as ‘Kiss Holly under the Cameltoe’ in the noisy kitchen studio….

  104. 116
  105. 117
    Pinkerton says:

    Phillip is having difficulty opening the cupboard

  106. 118
    pissed off voter says:

    Schofield finds his metier.

  107. 119
    Steve Miliband says:

    Does my arse look big in this?

  108. 120
    Sparkler says:

    Today’s recipe is Toad in the Hole.

  109. 121
    Gonk II says:

    Richard Gere disproves rumour

  110. 122

    Shafted Cameron to complete my bucket list. And this is number one on my buttocks list.

  111. 123
    Robert Browning says:

    “A man’s reach should exceed his grasp,
    Or what’s a heaven for?”

    Although I think he’s got a better grasp of the situation here, than he did with the PM…that time, it was just a reach, innit?

  112. 124
    Steve Miliband says:

    Schofe tries to demonstrate his comments to the PM were ‘tongue in cheek’

  113. 125

    what a LOVELY pair of buns

  114. 126
    Gonk II says:

    ‘It was a faulty Sat Nav’

  115. 127

    Buttocks and arse-hole.

  116. 128
    dollymylove says:

    “Lord McAlpine is on the sofa!! I beg you, please go first”?

  117. 129
    Windbreaker says:

    Holly let me help you prove to the viewers that you really aren’t so dumb that you can’t talk and fart at the same time.

  118. 131
    Pinkerton says:

    Schofield starts to feel the heat

  119. 132
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Now, Philip, can you fund the elbow?

  120. 134
    Phil Schofield says:

    Come here Gopher, I want to stick my hand up your arse.

  121. 135
    Windbreaker says:

    Hold on, I thought I heard David Cameron talking.

  122. 136
    Sir WW says:

    Schofield: “I’m trying to think of a completely humourless caption so that I might win Guido’s competition.”

  123. 137
    Yorkshire Rimmer says:

    Schofield: Look, I’ve been able to corroborate those names on my list from another source. I spent another good three minutes of in depth trawling there as well. Now, where was it? Yes, look everyone, here it is. I knew it was on the tip of my tongue……

  124. 139
    D. Morrison says:

    Alright, Phillip, over sixteen certainly, but what a cheek!

  125. 141
    Windbreaker says:

    Holly have you just had a brain fart?

  126. 142
    concrete pump says:

    Do my hands look big on this…?

  127. 143
    Roscoe Rules says:

    I think we need to get to the bottom of who has been getting to the bottoms.

  128. 144
    George Galloway says:

    “Would you like to be the sheep”?

  129. 145
    bergen says:

    “Ofcom told me to lay off the internet. I suppose this’ll do.”

  130. 146
    Steve Miliband says:

    Schofield continues his search for Shergar, Lucan and Elvis

  131. 147
    smoggie says:

    At last we can uncover the truth..

    Back-end of the pantomime horse revealed !

  132. 148
    Marcus says:

    Everyone chill the fuck out, ! I got this….

  133. 148
    cmdocker says:


  134. 150
    Josephs coat of one colour - Red says:

    Ah so this is were the aroma of anchovies is coming from, I knew the recipe didn’t call for any.

  135. 151
    Windbreaker says:

    Hindsight is a great thing. I love looking at girls’ arses.

  136. 152
    Sparkler says:

    It only took me 3 minutes to download this porn clip from the internet.

  137. 153
    nellnewman says:

    TomWatson says she’s hiding something and that I have to look for it.

  138. 154
    Engineer says:

    “Philip! That’s not how you get to the bottom of a story!”

  139. 155
    Phil the Witch hunter says:

    I’m sorry Holly. As a boy presenter I was taught to stick my hands up the gopher’s arse.

  140. 156
    dollymylove says:

    “May as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb..”

  141. 157
    Sparkler says:

    Gopher hole.

  142. 159
    Steve Miliband says:

    Small hands or big Arse? You decide.

    Text to 884444 with your answer to the question; Each text costs £1.50 plus one standard network rate message.

  143. 161
    grotblik says:

    I’m going to have to prees you on this.

    • 167
      grotblik says:

      Sorry – should have said “Press” not press.


      Philip indicates where he was touched on the doll.

  144. 162
    Schards says:

    Schofield tries to prevent another ‘This Morning’ presenter from talking out of their arse

  145. 163
    Grrr says:

    Philip Schofield ensuring that his name gets added to several internet lists…

  146. 164
    Oportunistic Cnut says:

    Hi, I’m Phil, I’m a satanic necrophillic child abuser. Well, if enough bullshit lies to that effect are published on ‘teh interweb’, then they become THE TRUTH innit.

  147. 165
    beast says:

    Gordon the groper

  148. 166
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    “This was how we did high fives at the BBC. Next time, I’ll show you how we did knuckles!”

  149. 168
    Anonymous says:

    Brrr, it’s cold in here.

  150. 169
    Bill Quango MP says:

    ..for about 15 minutes in a warm oven…

  151. 170
    Logan says:

    John Leslie is coming…hide!

  152. 171
    I Squiggle says:

    Arse’n Minger..

  153. 172

    Disappointed Holly discovers why he’s called 3 minute Phil.

  154. 173
    Renaldo says:

    Who do you think you are Phillip – Andrew Marr?

  155. 174
    I Squiggle says:

    Oi! I told you, I’ve never been to Wrexham..

  156. 175
    Pelham123 says:

    Philip: I got better things to do than research stories!

    Philip: This is how to tell the difference between Holly and Firm Cotton.

  157. 176
    Grollace says:

    Three minutes! All it takes to go from Top to Bottom!

  158. 177
    dollymylove says:

    “C’mon Holly, where’s your tail? David Icke said..”

  159. 178
    Tom Mein says:

    Practicing lesson 2 of the “Tom Watson school of etiquette and social skills”

  160. 180
    None of the above says:

    This looks far nicer the the (Rabbit) hole I seem to have fallen into.

  161. 181
    George Young says:

    Blonde tart says

    Philip just described myshit as being ‘like Harvey Price’.

    Not sure if he means it was massive and brown or dribbley.

  162. 182
    Anonymous says:

    Schofield fails to realise that you can’t roast your chestnuts on an open arse

  163. 184
    Anothe says:

    I apologise if a misjudged camera angle inadvertantly exposed the viewers to my groping Ms Willoughby

  164. 188
    Knobscotch says:

    On This Morning’s cooking segment, Philip Schofield prepares to demonstrate his ‘Tongue in Cider’.

  165. 189
    Biff says:

    Schofield, searching for his lost credibility.

  166. 190
    dollymylove says:

    “Ant & Dec said I have to do a bushtucker trial here first…”

  167. 191
    Jeff Davies says:

    Will you be investigating this Mr Cameron?

  168. 192
    Govt-By-Cluster-Fuck says:

    Grey haired TV personality “accidentally” gropes young blonde, nothing to see here move along now.

  169. 194
    Baron Hogwash says:

    ITV sex scandal, dirty old man caught on camera.

  170. 196
    jeffw99 says:

    Are you sure that’s what Quantative Easing means, Phillip?

  171. 197

    Philip Schofield demonstrates the Jimmy Savile technique live on tv.

  172. 198
    Margo Leadbetter says:

    When I said ‘a quick google search’, this is what I meant

  173. 199
    dunstall says:

    Now u know how Gordon the Gopher felt

  174. 200
    robbie says:

    Andrew Mitchell’s looking for somewhere new to park his bike.

  175. 201
    BeeCee says:

    Is this another bum steer?

  176. 202
    Phillip S says:

    Does my thumb feel big in there!

  177. 203
    BeeCee says:

    Does the arse holding my arse make him look a bigger arse in this?

  178. 204
    After a cursory six minutes on the internet. says:

    How low can you stoop!?

    About an eleven year old.

  179. 206
    Hand me a Google list says:

    “Let me show you the difference between cheeky and making up facts”

  180. 207
    Deepgrout says:

    I got this idea from the internet too.

  181. 208
    Pearl Necklace says:

    Schofield using his famous anal ytical skills to see if Miss Willowbooby might win bum cleavage of the year.

  182. 209
    Operation Crossbow says:

    That’s twice I’ve felt an arse this week.

  183. 211
    Ed the Duck says:

    Schofield laments loss of sidekick Gordon the Groper

  184. 212
    Weybridgeman says:

    Check out those buns!

  185. 215
    BC says:

    It’s a big arsk

  186. 216
    Snotsicle says:

    Just rehearsing for my new TV show – “Phil’ll Fix It”

  187. 217
    Anonymous says:

    Murf 95 says ” Just cos you cocked up Philip dont give me the bums rush”

  188. 218
    Diddley says:

    Holly learns just how serious mistaken identity can be as Philip mistakes her for Gordon. At least it’s not all over the internet. Oh.

  189. 219
    Posh Tory says:

    “Don’t you put that Gopher of yours anywhere near me!”

  190. 220
    The Sleeper says:

    I’m sure my researcher said that all I had to do was Google…and Yahoo!!..I’d get the Firefox.

  191. 221
    Stepney says:

    Schofield attempts to open the This Morning editorial source file.

  192. 222
    Diddley says:

    Philip’s unwanted advances and political bias land him a new job at the BBC

  193. 223
    Stepney says:

    Anyone see Gordon?

  194. 224
    Stepney says:

    Gordon. Brown.

  195. 225
    ceejay says:

    Recently I felt a pr**ck but this makes a change!

  196. 226
    Diddley says:

    ‘Did my career just vanish up there?’

  197. 227
    Brown out and pay me damages. says:

    The two faced overpaid twat is caught red handed.

  198. 228
    dunstall says:

    Schofiled wouldnt know where to find a Cnut if it fell on him

  199. 229
    P.Schofield - The Bureau of Investigative Journalism Intern says:

    I did not have sexual relations with that women

  200. 230
    The fast show says:

    This morning I’ll mainly be taking crack

  201. 231
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Careless Hands.

  202. 232
    Rupert my Hero says:

    And is it OK to do this ?

  203. 233
    IRISHBOY says:

    It was just a bit of craic!

  204. 235
    GrumpyG says:

    It’s a good job that you are behind me.

  205. 236
    graham smith says:

    So how long have you been putting your bits of paper here?

  206. 237
    Old Canute says:

    “That’s not the Heimlich Manoeuvre, and you’re not a real doctor”

  207. 238
    Barry says:

    And here’s one I prepared half-an-hour ago.

  208. 239
    StevieBC says:

    Phillip – I am so, so hot.
    I am far too hot for this daytime TV show.
    Just feel how hot I am Phillip…

  209. 240
    Dave says:

    I started in the BBC broom cupboard so I know how to inspect a hairy brush

  210. 241
    Mad Frankie's Older Sister says:

    The search for the rest of Schofiel’s career grows ever more desperate

  211. 242
    Mad Frankie's Older Sister says:

    “Honest love, I was just looking for Gordon the Gopher”

  212. 243
    Mad Frankie's Older Sister says:

    With the turmoil at BBC, some celebrities are already practising interview techniques as the race begins to fill the editorial gaps

  213. 244
    Mad Frankie's Older Sister says:

    Lady Boys of Bangkok hits the small screen

    …. he’s not the only one who can make unfounded allegations

  214. 245
    keredybretsa says:

    Uh! Uh! Jimmy Sovile had a gentler touch. Stick to card showing.

  215. 246
    StevieBC says:

    “Oi Phillip, flatten those dress creases right now ! “

  216. 247
    ATBirch says:

    There may have been a misjudged camera angle…

  217. 248
    who why what where when says:

    Schofield misunderstands the phrase ‘cover-up’.

  218. 250
    Tom Catesby says:

    Philip was keen to get to the bottom of this sex abuse.

  219. 251
    Anonymous says:

    Who is the bigger arse

  220. 252
    dollymylove says:

    Schofield leaving Good Morning for the Twilight Zone…

  221. 253
    domino316 says:

    No Phillip I said “I used to like Gary Glitter”…..

    “Another step back Holly and I can wear you for Red Nose day”

  222. 254
    Watson Buster says:

    Nope Holly, I can’t see Tom Watson up here, are you sure he said that he was an arse hole creeper.

  223. 255
    The Anglo Saxon says:

    Oh Philip, stop it, or you’ll get a reputation for yourself like that Savile chappie or that arse hole creeper Whatson, butt if your going to carry on lick it like a lollypop.

  224. 256
    Phil the Queen says:

    I usually finder tighter buns in the park at night, ahem, in Hampstead.

  225. 258
    JL says:

    Where’s the sunshine when you need it?

  226. 259
    Anonymous says:

    So that’s what I look like to everyone!

  227. 260
    Cringle says:

    I can’t feel a panty-line. Are you sure you’re wearing any?

  228. 261
    Ehtch says:

    What is the fascination with Whilloby’s arse, I am more into Kate and her sisters arse, more streamlined, like a female cyclist’s arse – mmmmm,

    • 262
      Ehtch says:

      …but not saying I won’t give the Whillows one right up the shuffty, given half a chance, any passage she asks… : )

  229. 263
    D G says:

    P & H celebrate their promotion onto CBeebies

  230. 265
    Anonymous says:

    This is what I really like doing when I’ve got three minutes to spare!

  231. 266
    Jeffrey Bernard says:

    Philip: “I can hardly pull my finger out before I have even put it in.”

  232. 267
    Trimbush says:

    Is this who they call Phil O’pedya

  233. 268
    Anonymous says:

    im just gonna rip the back of your skirt open and tongue your arsehole live on tv cos you love it you slaaaaaaaag

  234. 269
    Mrs Trellis says:

    “Calm down dear ….. Jason Donovan never protested ….”

  235. 270
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron told me “you must feel a massive arse” so that’s what I’ll do.

  236. 271

    Last van erectiestoornissen? Dan is viagra echt iets voor jou! Viagra zorgt er namelijk voor de bloedvaten in de penis zich makkelijker kunnen ontspannen waardoor erectieproblemen tot de verleden tijd behoren. Wil je direct viagra kopen? Dan kan dat natuurlijk ook!

  237. 272
    StevieBC says:

    Well, did I win the crappy/’no-expense spared prize’ T-Shirt then…? ;)

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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