November 8th, 2012

Labour’s Celebrity Parliament Dodger

Labour quickly went on the attack when Nadine flew to the jungle. Chris Bryant went as far as suggesting a by-election for missing recess. So what do they recommend for their own parliament dodger?

In 2012 Nadine has spoken in thirty debates in the Commons, comfortably above average. How many has the former Prime Mentalist piped up in? Just one. The jungle-venturing scourge of the posh boys has received answers to some sixty written questions over the last twelve months, compared with a paltry eight for Gordon. And how do the pair fare in terms of vote attendance? Nadine has had her say in 71% of votes during the last year, with Brown bothering to turn up to just 14%.

Sampling kangaroo testicles will controversially land Nadine £40,000, which pales into significance when you think McMental’s sucking up to foreign dignitaries has clocked up £1.4 million.

Two wrongs dont make a right, but spare us the lectures. If Labour are serious about MPs doing their job, perhaps they should remove the whip from Gordon…


152 Comments

  1. 1
    jgm2 says:

    £1.4 million reward for destroying the UK economy. I feel physically ill.

    Like

    • 7
      gramma says:

      And Nadine gets paid to sample Kangaroo delicacies whereas you were force fed Balls and pay for the enjoyment too

      Like

      • 60
        Anonymous says:

        This is how ex PM behaved just check what Mrs T, John Major, Tony Blair did. Mrs T was so up set that she was kicked out, I will be surprised if she ever turned up after she was forced out.

        Like

        • 79
          Archer Karcher says:

          Mrs Thatcher did not stand for re-election and left politics. Unlike Gordoom Brown, who stood for re-election even though he said he would not and has done sod all ever since except collect the loot.

          Like

          • Hugh Janus says:

            No doubt still sulking over the lack of an offer of the ‘automatic’ peerage. Phoney Tony Bliar also missed out. Brenda isn’t daft.

            Like

          • 1984 says:

            Apparently the ‘automatic’ peerage requires that people reveal certain financial arrangements. Hence Blair and Brown declining the opportunity for the time being.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            Brown was still the PM when he was re-elected, in the election no party won a majority in May 2010.

            Like

          • Gordon Brown says:

            You see. I did win the election. I told you I would. If I was still PM after the election then I must have won the election.

            Labour. Winning here.

            Like

        • 139
          Michael Francis says:

          What about Edward Heath, he was a sulky fixture for years.

          Like

      • 64
        Butch Dave says:

        Barack. My Hero!

        Like

        • 113
          The History man says:

          When Labour took office they had a golden goose that laid golden eggs. Then Brown cooked his goose.

          Like

      • 71
        Butch Dave says:

        Did you see me with Angela last night? The way I took control of the Anglo-Kraut relationship by allowing her to open the door of No.10? I’m soo manly and butch, and not a limp-wristed fag!

        Like

    • 15
      Anonymous says:

      Don’t be a moron… he didn’t destroy the UK economy…he made a few stupid decisions as chancellor, like allowing big companies to steal from their pension funds, but greed and easy credit based on a stupid house owning model caused a slump, you can blame Thatcher for that… economies become poor or strong but to destroy it we would have to go back to mud huts and bartering… don’t hi-jack fair comment by Guido with fatuous remarks.

      Like

      • 19
        Stupid Socialist says:

        That’s right cumrade, it’s all Fatcherz fawlt.

        Like

        • 32
          jgm2 says:

          It seems that because we’re not living in mud huts and bartering Brown didn’t destroy the UK economy. Hardly a ringing end*or*se*me*nt of the Maximum Imbecile I’ll grant you.

          Like

      • 24
        Steve Miliband says:

        Gordon Brown destroyed the UK economy, buying votes with an open chequebook

        Like

        • 30
          Hugh Janus says:

          Precisely!

          Like

          • Aunt Mat says:

            Gordon has not been in power for a while.

            The economy has not improved dramatically.

            You would have thought that if you replaced an idiot with a genius, the problems would have been fixed by now.

            Just a thought.

            Like

          • jgm2 says:

            Bush hasn’t been in power for a while either and the US economy is still fucked.

            But you’re right. I’d have fixed it on Day One.

            Like

          • Anonymous says:

            jgm2, US economy had improved a lot in the last 4 years. In UK it gone worse compared to May 2010.

            Global economy affect all countries in almost the same way but economic polices followed by each country are the once that affect these countries.

            Like

          • Gordon Brown says:

            but economic polices followed by each country are the once that affect these countries.

            And that’s why I had the largest economic deficit of any major economy. But it wasnae my fault. It was the bankers and the Americans that made me do it.

            Like

        • 43
          Horace says:

          There are some who believe he did it deliberately, NWO and all that.

          Like

      • 27
        jgm2 says:

        Even Ned Balls admits that the Maximum Imbecile was running a structural deficit of 78Bn quid a year during the ‘boom’ times.

        And if there was ‘greed and easy credit’ then he (as chancellor) was in a unique position to stop ‘greed and easy credit’ instead of turning a blind eye to it and basking in the glow of all that ‘greed and easy credit’ fuelled boom. Instead of which he hired a million extra civil servants using borrowed money thus doubling the catastrophe.

        ‘A few stupid decisions’? Every imbecile decision he made was a stupid decision.

        Like

        • 81
          XXX says:

          Wasn’t it under Broon a lot of IR local offices closed concentrating in a few very large centres, tried contacting one lately, a lot of tax officials went, now contact is through a call centre, how long before that goes to India. It is no wonder the tax take is poor and the administration is up the spout.

          Like

      • 31
        AssETstripper-Me says:

        You are right.

        I made shedloads of money during the Labour years.

        I didn’t go to Eton, so I am not doing as well right now.
        Although those Public Sector privatisations are looking pretty tasty.

        Like

      • 34
        The History man says:

        Like setting up the FSA with his useless, crony friends replacing work the BoE had been doing well for centuries.

        Like encouraging banks to lend risky money. It was Brown who gave the green light for 110% mortgages. How could that possibly go wrong?

        Like stuffing the public sector with unnecessary workers to make the GDP and employment figures look better.

        Like encouraging personal debt to soar so the UK had the biggest ratio of personal debt in all the major economies.

        Like selling our gold at rock bottom prices, after telling the whole world his plans long in advance.

        Like creating a boom and bust in house prices.

        Like increasing the national debt to a ridiculous size and giving the UK the highest budget defecits of all major powers.

        Like

        • 38
          The History man says:

          And like destroying the UK pension system, by taxing pension contributions, thus causing misery for millions of future pensioners.

          Like

        • 52
          Hugh Janus says:

          And like stuffing the quangos with Liebour’s own people. (And still no sign of One Term Dave’s bonfire.)

          Like

        • 69
          Living in 98 percent white Merseyside (with a view towards 99% white N. Wales) says:

          Let’s admit it, during the boom years we were all in it together

          Like

      • 41
        Kevin says:

        You are totally ignorant of the facts and a tosser of the highest order.

        Like

      • 98
        GUBU says:

        Whatever you do, don’t let the facts get in the way of a good story…

        I can remember when the former Prime Mentalist was being touted – largely by his own associates – as the greatest Chancellor since Gladstone. You know what they say about the Kingdom of the Blind…

        We are still dealing with the consequences of his ‘never mind the quality, feel the width’ attitude to public spending, but as long as my living room walls aren’t made of wattle and daub I guess I should be grateful.

        Like

      • 146
        Four-eyed English Genius says:

        Didn’t destroy the economy? I would have thought shackling us with the EUSSR was a pretty valid attempt at same!

        Like

      • 151
        Cinna says:

        The biggest thief from pension funds was Brown himself!

        Like

    • 22
      Tony Billionaire says:

      That’s nothing, old bean. I got ten million for starting two wars.

      Like

    • 104
      Anonymous says:

      complete wanker

      Like

  2. 2
    Dr Whot says:

    Gordon Brown is a disgrace of an MP. His constituents must be as daft as him.

    He fuked up the economy and now is lazy. What an arsehole.

    Like

    • 6
      jgm2 says:

      His constituents take the view that he may be an arsehole but he’s our arsehole. Plus he did give them a decade long financial windfall by awarding the contract for building the 2bn 3bn 4bn 5bn quid aircraft carriers on his doorstep.

      Like

      • 47
        Horace says:

        I wish more MPs would follow his example and stay away from the HoC. All of them, in fact, then perhaps we’d get a bit of respite from being ordered around by our own employees.

        Like

        • 97
          The Golem says:

          A rubber stamp for Brussels rule. I suppose the bribes are large enough to allow these people to live with themselves.

          Like

      • 127
        GUBU says:

        The operative word here being arsehole…

        Like

  3. 3
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Another thing – Gordon has larger mammaries too.

    Like

  4. 4
    Grollace says:

    There are few where the Grodon comes from that actually produce anything at all. The enterprising ones hunt old golf balls with metals detectors.

    Like

    • 9
      Legal Crook says:

      ‘hunt old golf balls with metals detectors’, I suppose compared to McMental that occupation would still class them as sane.

      Like

    • 12
      left,left,nothing left says:

      Forgive me asking but do they put metal in golf balls, surely doing that would turn them in to a cannonball and even more dangerous.

      Like

  5. 5

    I would have no objection if Gordon parachuted into a jungle. Or indeed, the ocean, an active volcano, or simply back to Jockistan.

    Like

  6. 8
    left,left,nothing left says:

    The less any MP has to do the less the damage to the country and people, we know how bad Broon has damaged the people and the country, mad Nad I hope she decides to stay in Australia, time Broon was sacked for not doing any work in the House of Thieves for his constituants .

    Like

    • 50
      jgm2 says:

      You can’t have it both ways. If Brown was sacked for doing no work then his replacement might feel he had to do some work. And, as the Maximum Imbecile demonstrates, the last thing you want are politicians ‘working’.

      Better to give them 65K a year to do nothing than 65K a year and have them idiotting about the place trying to look busy.

      Like

  7. 10
    Terrible But True says:

    ‘Labour quickly went on the attack’

    And how did the world’s most trusted media monopoly ‘report’?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-20248398

    Seems the Indy is back in favour for mention after that little (if ongoing) unpleasantness closer to home that they are doing a bang up job with not naming other names (well, of people, anyway).

    Of course, they have also been, impartially, to a near genetic degree, as robust in holding the ex PM to account, as holding abuse of power to account is what they do.

    Isn’t it, Lord Patten?

    Like

  8. 11
    Nonjob says:

    Gordon Brown is the real life ‘Chance’ from the film ‘Being There.’ Life imitating art. Too fucking weird.

    Like

  9. 13
    Speedster says:

    Gordon Liiiiikes the whip :-)

    Like

  10. 14
    Steve Miliband says:

    Could you imagine Gordon in jungle kit? The hat, khaki shorts, white socks, sandals?

    Like

    • 26
      Well it's a thought says:

      Remember his holiday pics dahn south a few years ago, with his oily zoot suit on , casual wear I don’t think is in his MPs dictionary, laziness, expenses, increase prices, sell gold cheaply sadly are.

      Like

  11. 16
    A fellow McScot says:

    Wibble wibble.

    Like

  12. 18
    jgm2 says:

    As ever I think it worth pointing out that since the Maximum Imbecile has stopped working 24/7 to fuck up the UK economy things have stopped getting so bad quite so quickly. The sad thing is that we don’t have a time machine so we could go back to 1997 and encourage him to do fuck all from 1997 onwards. Politicians are at their most dangerous when they’re ‘working’. They’re utterly harmless when they’re doing nothing.

    While 1.4 million quid for giving lectures to Nigerian diplomats and Indonesian businessmen might stick in the craw it is as nothing compared to the literally hundreds if not thousands of billions the jackass squandered when he had his imbecile hand around the nation’s financial throat.

    Like

    • 25
      Erskine May says:

      Like the thief that breaks into your house to get £50 from the fence for drugs money but whose actions cause you £4000 in repair and replacement costs, not to mention loss of time and opportunity loss income. Cheaper to give him the £50 in the first place and tell him to fuck off.

      Like

    • 66
      None of the above says:

      Reminds me of the time my wife had her credit cards stolen. I never reported it to the police as they were spending less than she did.

      Like

  13. 20
    Selohesra says:

    Balls in her face in Parliament or balls in her mouth in jungle

    Like

  14. 21
    LibLabCon - all in it together - screw the lot of them says:

    They’re all total and absolute fuckers.

    Like

  15. 23
    Hugh Janus says:

    Well said Guido. We can always rely on Liebour to do just one thing outstandingly well – hypocrisy. (Oh, that and wrecking the economy of course.)

    Like

  16. 29
    Tom Catesby says:

    They don’t turn up they don’t get paid. don’t turn up to represent their constituents when they should without appropriate excuse, bi-election time!
    That should be the rule and of course any salaries, expenses, etc, paid for such periods should be recovered. You don’t turn up for work or do the job when you should in the way you should, the rest of us would get the sack!

    Like

    • 39
      jgm2 says:

      You’re making a fundamental mistake. Politicians, on balance, do more harm than good. All of ‘em. From whatever side. Therefore it is in our interests to make sure they do as little as possible.

      If that means paying them to stay away then that’s money well spent. Look at that tireless workaholic (as was) Brown when he was chancellor. Working night and day, his imbecile fingers into every department, micro-managing this, micro-managing that, macro-fucking-up on a truly Homeric scale.

      Like

    • 67
      Archer Karcher says:

      Constituents able to sack useless, corrupt, lazy or lying MP’s?

      Dave promised it and of course renaged on it, U-turn number 46 if I recall.

      Like

  17. 33
    Steve Miliband says:

    Gordon Brown has no redeeming features.

    Like

    • 45
      Anonymous says:

      He did lose the 2010 election…..just.

      Like

    • 61
      Sham Cam and his Wind Farm Scam says:

      Doesn’t feel like I won either – who did then?

      Like

      • 68
        jgm2 says:

        Perhaps we all did. It was ‘strong’ ie a massive majority that allowed Blair to wage his Iraq war and Brown to fuck up the economy. If they’d been in coalition then Blair wouldn’t have been able to (quite so easily) get his cabinet to go along with a pack of lies and Brown might have had to listen to some sense (although economically, I don’t believe the Liberals would have been any less insane than Brown).

        Who knows what idiocy Cameron would have got up to with a majority either. I’m betting that even with a majority he wouldn’t have fired Brown’s miracle million on Day One. Or shut down the BBC. He still seems keen on windmills and other enviro-lunacy and with a large enough majority he’d have had no problem agreeing to send more cash to the EU.

        So, it might be frustrating seeing the LibDems put the handbrake on some potentially good ideas (eg fair election boundaries) but there’s no evidence to suggest Cameron had any plans to do anything else that would make a difference.

        Like

  18. 35
    Anonymous says:

    You wanker Bryant

    Like

  19. 40
    Steve Miliband says:

    It’s not like Nadine is sunbathing with her tits out or anything.

    Like

  20. 42
    Kebab travel update says:

    Police incident in Camden, tent placed at Royal College Street. Forensics on scene.

    Like

  21. 48
    Ah! Monika says:

    Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has congratulated Barack Obama on his re-election

    Obama says Eh?

    Like

  22. 62
    8illy 8owden, the world's greatist umplre says:

    What was it my grandma used to say? Oh yes:

    “One debate contribution of sense is worth thirty of bollocks”.

    Like

  23. 65
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside (with a view towards 99% white N. Wales) says:

    Did Fatcher turn up much when she ceased to be PM?

    Like

  24. 72
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Gordon Brown (Crowthorne and Broadmoor). “But ah saved the world, Jimmy. Spare me a £1 for a cup of tea. Wibble. Ah’m really Napoleone Bounapate. Ah’m on top of mae gaeme. Ah can heid javelins and all.

    Like

  25. 76
    Tom Tomos says:

    which pales into significance…

    Like the emergence of a new Archbishop of Canterbury.

    Like

    • 90
      Talk about nonentities! says:

      Has anybody ever heard of him before? I’ve already forgotten his name. Not that I pay a great deal of interest in frock-wearing old men who worship invisible sky fairies. But even so.

      Like

    • 117
      CHAD says:

      Wot no beard?

      Like

  26. 77
    Andy says:

    David Miliband’s figures:

    Has spoken in 13 debates in the last year — well below average amongst MPs.
    Has received answers to 2 written questions in the last year — below average amongst MPs.
    Replied within 2 or 3 weeks to a medium number of messages sent via WriteToThem.com during 2008, according to constituents.
    Has voted in 45.92% of votes in this Parliament with this affiliation — well below average amongst MPs. (From Public Whip)

    Like

    • 82
      jgm2 says:

      Same rules apply. Look what ‘value’ he was adding when he was in a position to fuck things right up.

      None.

      Better we pay him to stay away than hang around fucking things up.

      If only Balls would do likewise.

      Like

      • 84
        A Sitting MP says:

        Now that Guido is on the warpath I must write out as many silly questions as my secretary can think up and when I am next in London I must spend a good five minutes sitting in as many debates as I can fit in .

        Like

        • 96

          That’s what I do.

          “Could the minister tell me the average amount of cheese eaten by 18-30 year olds in the North East.

          + further

          Is this cheese sliced, block or grated?
          Is this cheese produced within the EU or UK?
          What proportion of this cheese is toasted.

          etc

          Like

    • 121
      Socialists = Sociopaths says:

      Hypocrisy and mendacity. It’s in Libor’s D-N-A.

      Like

  27. 85
    Kebab,The Lefty Tosser says:

    Warning: Suspicious Site

    Like

  28. 95
    TrumptyTrump says:

    Is Nadine really only 55?

    Like

  29. 99
    Moussa Koussa Mark 2 says:

    Priceless

    LOL….. Guido is NOW apologising for Mad Nad !!!!

    Like

  30. 101
    Centre Parting says:

    Bryant is just jealous cos he wasn’t asked to go on I’m a celebrity.

    Like

  31. 105
    Moussa Koussa Mark 2 says:

    SSSShhhhhhh Boris announced large rises to London transport costs…..Shhhhh

    Even the “Barclay Bikes” are up 100%

    shhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    Like

  32. 106
    Clive Dunn RIP says:

    Like

  33. 108
    Ex Ah! Monika says:

    This site is operating in a quantum manner.

    It allows ‘Ah! Monika’ to flit in and out of existence.

    Like

  34. 110
    Gordon Brown says:

    I killed the Joker, sent Lex Luthor to jail, destroyed the Sith, threw Emperor Palpatine to his doom and killed Blofeld. I am a legend.

    Like

  35. 115
    Cwis Bwyant says:

    SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!

    Like

    • 120
      Margaret Moron says:

      Of course I won’t be in court. I paid a rent-a-shrink to tell a gullible judge that I’m one disc short of a special edition DVD. Wibble!

      Like

    • 122
      1984 says:

      I thought the CPS had decided that she shouldn’t stand trial because it would make her upset?

      What’s the betting that a few years from now if somebody refers to her as an ‘expenses crook’ she’ll sue them for libel on the grounds that ‘I was never convicted’.

      Like

  36. 116
    disgusted of tunbridge wells says:

    complete wanker. Investigate the tossers tax returns – he is bound to be a scottish squirrel – the tight bastard.

    Like

  37. 123
    disgusted of tunbridge wells says:

    And another thing – he has enormous knockers.

    Like

  38. 126
    Anonymous says:

    I thought the one-eyed Scottish sociopath told us he woke up every day with the aim of ‘fighting for fairness’? I had no idea that meant ‘collecting his pay while doing nothing for it’.

    Like

  39. 135
    Sarah Jane says:

    My husband. My hero.

    Like

  40. 138
    The Hon. Comrade Loretto Fettes MP (Rottenborough East) says:

    It’s always bad to make excuses in politics. My Comrade Chris is a fucking unbelievably massive Hunt though. He should just focus on helping deploy Ed’s smokescreen, that’s what I’m doing and what I intend to do in the short to medium term going forward.

    Like

  41. 140
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Well said Guido! I think Nadine Dorries is rubbish but Brown is the dirty water that sits at the bottom of a wheely bin.

    Like

  42. 141
    Anonymous says:

    so, by analogy…should David Laws be getting the Dennis McShane treatment?

    Like

  43. 142
    Airey Belvoir says:

    Yesterday I posted under a pic of Mad Nad the sentiment ‘mmmmmmmmmmmmm’Having seen the merciless pics of her in the tabloids today looking like Jabba the Hutt I now wish to withdraw my comment.

    Like

  44. 143
    Jimmy says:

    And let’s not forget she still finds the time to get into childish handbag fights with members of the public.

    Like

  45. 144
    Anonymous says:

    Stated on ‘The Daily Mash’………..

    I’M a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here is exactly where Nadine Dorries was always going to end up, it has been confirmed.
    Anger and dismay at the novelty MP’s decision to abandon her constituents for a month subsided quickly as people across Britain said ‘of course’.

    Meanwhile, experts praised the business acumen of the Jimmy Savile look-a-like as she will now receive £40,000 to destroy a political career that was essentially worthless.

    Former Tory MP Ann Widdecombe said: “This is the right move for Nadine. She doesn’t have quite enough gravitas for Strictly Come Dancing.”

    Like

  46. 145

    Chris ‘Y fronts’ Bryant, one of the most disgusting specimens to ever to foul the air of Westminister. This vulgar creatures’ disgusting behavour has brought shame on the people of Wales and turned the once noble people of Rhondda into a laughing stock.

    To atone for their supine obedience to the remote Labour elite that dumped the Bryant creature on them and to restore some semblence of dignity, they should boot him out at the earliest possible opportunity.

    Like

  47. 147
    dunstall says:

    Brown will probaly stand again in 2015 or be goven an EU commisioners job once that halfwit Ashton departs

    Like

  48. 150
    keredybretsa says:

    Typical leftist, do as we say, not as we do, effort. Nadders is a real light in the Westminster darkness. Brrrrrrroooooonnn is just doom. Entwhip him soon.

    Like

  49. 152
    Tony Blair says:

    The less Brown is in the Commons the better. Better for all of us

    Like


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Rob Colvile reviews Russell Brand’s new book:

“Oddly, the person I feel sorriest for isn’t Brand himself – although he certainly comes across as a rather pitiable figure, projecting his own brokenness on to the world around him – but Johann Hari. Drummed out of Fleet Street for plagiarism, the former Independent columnist has washed up as “my mate Johann, who’s been doing research for this book”. For a genuinely talented polemicist, it would have been a humbling experience to have to treat this sub-undergraduate dross as the scintillating wisdom of a philosopher-king.”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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