November 8th, 2012

Cable’s £1.6 Million Growth Plan

It was hardly a surprise when Vince Cable was outed as the most wasteful spender in government this summer, but the Minister for Profligacy’s cheque-writing dalliances don’t stop there. Guido can reveal that the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills has spent over £1.6 million of taxpayers’ money doing up its offices in this year alone.

While a chunk of the cash was justifiably spent on dealing with an asbestos problem, over a hundred grand was shelled out on aesthetic work. Thousands more were spent on redecorating and improving lighting. The boys at BIS have gone into spin overdrive, reeling off the usual lines that the spending will be recouped and that savings will be made in the long run. Good to see Vince has a growth plan at last…


  1. 1
    tommy5dollar says:

    Well, they are Keynesians…


    • 5
      The History man says:

      Was it a Mr Bean plant?


      • 12
        Anonymous says:

        You all are bothered of £1.6m but not bothered about £16 tranch given to Rwanda, who is killing people in neighbouring countries. Or even Cameron’s current trip to sell arms that are subsidies by people living in this country, Cameron’s trip would have costed this country over £1.6m.


    • 19
      Anonymous says:

      How much did MOD spent on bring democracy in Libya?

      Most people would have been happy if nut cases were got rid out and decent people were put in power. What’s the point in replacing one set of nutters with another one. Cameron was selling arms to Gadaffi, did we get paid or government ended up giving the money as government was guaranteeing payments.


    • 20
      Lagger says:

      What utter bollocks you write Guido. Asbestos is not a problem if left alone and it’s not much of a problem anyway, unless you work with it day in day out.


  2. 2
    PooleBabe says:

    And that is the EU mentality personified


  3. 3
    A high spending spinner says:

    Wibble wibble.


  4. 4
    The House of Crooks says:

    We are all in this together.


  5. 6
    Ken Saro-Wiwa's ghost says:

    Here’s a novel idea for Dimwit Camoron – sack Vince and replace him with someone who has actually worked in business. Maybe even run one, profitably. Someone who’s actually created jobs in the real world – the wealth-creating private sector.

    Because, frankly, hiring an old duffer who’s spent his entire 47-year working life in politics (we’ll ignore the 2 year stint making tea at Shell in the mid-90s) and making him ‘Business Secretary’ is frankly a fucking insult at a time of national economic crisis.


    • 11
      Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

      Here’s a novel idea for all taxpayers.

      Why don’t we sack the current load of thieving, perverted and/or dimwit politicians and find some honest, stright-forward people who are capable of running an orgy in a brothel?


    • 14
      Matei says:

      Using the words ‘wealth-creating’ should be made a Hate Crime.


    • 28
      Call Me Crap says:

      Vince is a very capable and aknowledged financial expert. His two years at Shell, outnumber my own experience of working in business, by, well, erm, two whole years.


  6. 7
    Anonymous says:

    So Dromey tells Harman she eats too much?
    We know how fond she was of PIE.


    • 10
      1984 says:

      Slap-head Dromey is hardly one to be advising on diet. The fat fucker.


    • 13
      Gin dribbler says:

      Perhaps she can spread some light on the care homes scandal and the ‘shadowy political figure’ or even name him under Parliamentary Privilege.


  7. 8
    Alf Garnett says:

    It’s pump priming. A mate of mine worked in a department where they all had to have new desks… then new chairs… then, to everyone’s amazement, massive screen televisions were put in the offices.


    • 22
      Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

      The Japanese have been ‘pump-priming’ their economy for about 20 years now. They had a huge boom followed by a massive bust and they have been spending money on public works ever since. Result ? Super low interest rates, zero inflation and no growth in the economy.

      Would you say that the ‘Boom & Bust’ have fucked them completely ???


  8. 9
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    Reported by the beeboid conspiracy website:

    “A mobile app to aid in decision-making and day-to-day government affairs is being trialled by the prime minister.”

    Has he also got the app that helps do the inevitable u-turns?


  9. 15
    Vince Cable says:

    The Growth Plan

    Water new plant at least once a day, and feed weekly with baby bio


  10. 21
    Vince Cable, Minister For (Giving All The Taxpayers The) Business says:

    All right, so I overspend a little. When you’ve got it spend it, I always say, lest they cut your budget the following year because you don’t need so much. And if anybody objects to the logic of that, here’s what I say to them:


  11. 26
    Incapable Vince says:

    Sorry ! What’s this all about ? I’ve forgotten what you were saying..


  12. 30
    Harman Spending says:

    Still got a long way to go to equal Labour’s profligate spending on ambient/calm zones or whatever they were called.


  13. 31
    No one gives a toss what you think you wretched lying crooked cunt. Your opinion is worthless says:


  14. 32
    This chap has the right idea says:


  15. 33

    This is age discrimination surely. He’s not doing anything different from any other Honourable Member. You are all picking on Vince because he’s an elder member of the legislative community.

    The legislative community believe that your money is their money, to spend as they see fit.

    They also believe there’s an endless supply of it and should it run out for a while they can borrow it from the next generation or simpley print some more.

    You ungrateful buggers should remember that this selfless act of spending your money is for you and your childrens benefit.

    Now leave the old buffer alone to take his nap.


  16. 35
    Screwed Taxpayer says:

    DAVE — Sack the Fxcking Libdum Spendthrift Cnut — you won’t of course, because you are a weak bastard.

    How many pointless expensive long grass inquiries have you set up today?

    Piss off into the crematorium waiting room with Brown.


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