November 7th, 2012

Nadine Dorries, I Presume…

ITV have released the first shot from the jungle:

Good luck with the nads, Nads…


  1. 1
    xxx says:

    You would though…..

    • 9
      gonads says:

      I like the photo’s properties.

      • 14
        Crazy Tony says:

        221,856 bytes ?

      • 49
        Anonymous says:

        What is Cameron’s problem with women? He takes the wipe off a women but hasn’t done anything about the Tory peado. Almost everyone with internet know who these people are and what horrible things they did to kids. We also know who set up the earlier cover up.

        Why there is no action from Cameron?

        • 55
          Gone on another photo opportunity, Cameron? says:

          Man named Ben, who was cared for at the home, says he had his trousers pulled down for Savile’s ‘entertainment’ and so did other boys at the home

          High-profile visitors to the home allegedly included 2 senior former Tories

          ‘Children whose parents had died in horrific circumstances were targeted more because they knew nothing could be done about it’, says Mr Gregory

          Read more:–Jimmy-Savile-regular-visitor.html#ixzz2BYHiFxbC
          Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

          • President Obathhouse says:

            Who is this guy “Dave”? Fucking limey fag keeps calling me Barack, like he wants to suck my cock. Doesn’t he know that’s Rahm’s job?

          • The savant says:

            Not any more rahm s. mayor of chicago now. ..

            Does not. do blow jobs any more.

            Has developed instead a penchant for farting against th breeze .

            Well chicago is after all the windy city …

        • 81
          Anonymous says:

          Have you been asleep for the past week? there are about 7 enquiries going on into these allegations, would you rather people were thrown in to clink without evidence or a trial, in case they are guilty. Yours is a mob mentality.

          • Anonymous says:

            Inquiry? Do you mean another cover up? How many more years?

            He could just ask the victims the name of these people, announce there name in parliament and kick them out of the house.

            I am sure public will do the rest as long as they know government is on there side and not protecting the peados.

          • Anonymous says:

            judicial inquiry. in zee open.
            but patience Dear friends.
            it will all be revealed kinda like the mp.s expenses though i dare say there will be some shredding to protect those who are even more protected than youknowhoo. paedo’s are hidden in plain sight. who protects them? BBC.
            free.mason.s….who are these folks that the chap on the street is bewildered about. The public will have its way, it is just waiting to get the full rot in view. sensible public.

          • smoggie says:

            Fuck any due process or trial coz this is a demockrassie.

        • 116
          Anonymous says:

          Well its not a cover up, I mean they have named at least three celebs who have had unproven allegations against them but refuse to name the polotician.
          Of course it,s not a cover up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • 161
        Anonymous says:

        The profession of the airbrush artist is a lonely calling

    • 11
      Demon says:

      Well, it’d be rude not to

    • 13
      None of the above says:

      and I have just release my first shot !

      • 97
        Feeling down says:

        Cannot wait to see Nadine in a similar scene , wish all mp,s were like her instead of Ed Balls

    • 21
      Snaplegs says:

      No actually, I don’t think I would

    • 25
      ÁC1 says:

      I’m not a tit man, but she does have good chesticles.

    • 27
      F. Inga-Ina de Dijk says:

      Get ‘em off, Nads, and flash us your lilies!
      Can I come over and probe in the bush?
      Kisses everywhere.

    • 57
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      It is now official: Nadine Dorries will take over as PILF (Politician I’d Like to Fornicate with), for those very few Young Tory lads remaining who are not poofs or nonces. She replaces Louise Mensch, who held the honour for the past two years, till she swanned off to the States, where she is currently working hard at becoming a FoxNews anchorblonde. Nadine will hold the honour till 2015, when she is expected not to stand again, and to swan off to Australia to be that nation’s version of LouLou.

    • 123
      Laughing hangman says:

      x 100,000,000

    • 136
      Tommy says:

      From the RespectYourself.Info webbsite. Masturbation section

      One final point, whilst masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of, it is considered bad manners to do it in public. Generally, masturbation is something you do in private rather than at the dinner table or in polite company.

      So that will be when watching I’m a Celeb then.

    • 142
      yvette cooper lady boy says:

      I would tasty

    • 167
      Sir Bulging Trouser says:

      She should be doing the job she was elected to do…idiot tart!!

    • 168
      PM says:

      Just had a wank.

  2. 2
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    On CiF

    As one commentator puts it “the day irony died…”

  3. 3
    I'd let Nads touch my nads says:

    You would, wouldn’t you?

  4. 4
  5. 5
    Erskine May says:

    I shall be voting for UStriP.

  6. 6
    Aunty Matter says:

    I would

  7. 7
    Airey Belvoir says:


  8. 8

    What a fucking liberty

  9. 10
    Aunty Matter says:

    Margaret Moran has really demeaned the role

  10. 12
    Charlie the Chump says:

    Nice tits. Don’t forget to pay back the £5 grand of your MP’s salary you wont be earning while fucking about in the undergrowth.

  11. 15
    Mad Nad says:

    G’day cobblers.

  12. 16
    One month absence from serving her constituents says:

    Funny. If this was any other MP who was neglecting their duties to their constituents, Guido would be all over them. But as it’s loopy Nadine Dorries, she gets a pass, presumably because Guido would like to be all over her.

  13. 18
    Nan Taylor says:

    They all demean, or demeaned in La Minge’s case, the position of MP. Self-serving, troughing, lying, self-aggrandising, corrupt, perverted, greedy, thieving bastards. La Minge will be back for another go some day in the belief that some party or other couldn’t possibly do without her. Horrible filthy parasites – like the bacteria in my leg ulcers.

    • 33
      Leg ulcers says:


    • 127
      Marmite says:

      Nan, are you Elsie Beatties sister by any chance? We haven’t heard from her for ages. Has she gone to her Reg I wonder?

      • 149
        Leciester Piggot says:

        I heard she’s currently providing Police with statements as she was one of Jimmy Saviles first guests on Jim’l fix it from 1903

  14. 19
    ®©¿ says:
  15. 23
    Gonk II says:

    She won’t look like that in a couple of days with a giant Echidna clamped to her left one.

  16. 24
    i like gold says:

    i like gold

  17. 26
    Ant and/or Dec says:

    We will prove the two into one will go

  18. 28
    Gordon Brown says:

    i am the Prime Minister, get me out of here

  19. 29
    Lord Mooncrater says:

    All women sit on a goldmine and this one knows how to use it.

  20. 31
    Aunty Matter says:

    Funny how shecgetscall the hate yet Macshit and that other drunk jock twat who tried to punch out a few Tories gets away with it.

    Then we have McSnot who has spent the last 2 years at tax payers expense writing about how he fucked the world. I hope we all get a cut of the 3 copies he sells.

    Then we have been lids who use theirosition to make money by writing books or heading up think tanks.

    Nads might be mad and taking us for a ride, but in the grand scheme of things, shes’s small beer.

    • 54
      Jimmy says:

      I think you may overestimate how upset the public is at the thought of punching out tories.

      • 93
        Anonymous says:

        I would prefer it if the inadequates in the shadow cabinet were punched out instead if its all the same to you.

  21. 32
    Industrial Light & Magic says:

    Our technology being used well. Although I would recommend a +6 on the ‘selfish cow’ filter next time.

  22. 36
    Chutney Monkey says:

    I guess she will be complaining next week that she is not taken seriously

  23. 38
    Georgous George says:

  24. 40
    Which one is Ant? says:

    No doubt Ant and Dec will have her eating Dick at the first possible chance.

    • 46
      Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

      Or maybe Dec will have her eating Ant? Who will know?

      • 170
        The German general who is always having a new uniform fitted. says:

        I bet Mad Nad will get a bit of crafty cocky in woods when no one is looking.

  25. 41
    Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

    I think it is particularly dangerous to give a scouser the oxygen of publicity.

  26. 41
    Mad Frankie's Older Sister says:


  27. 45
    Lord Alpine says:

    I’m a child ràping grandee in Italy with powerful connections, just try and get me out of here!

    • 61
      The Yorkshire Ripper, Broadmoor. says:

      Listen to radi 2 yesterday on the vine programme to see what the results are.

      I’d shoot you dead whilst eating my dinner.

  28. 48
    Kebab Time theorem says:

    And why does 81lly neve post when its a female being mentioned? Is he Gordon Brown?

  29. 50
    Bogeyman says:

    I do wish all these disapproving bores would f uk off. So what if she absents herself for a month? The one-eyed bogey muncher disappears for months on end.

    Her constituency will still be there when she gets back, not a jot worse for her absence.

    I noticed a Guardianista yesterday comparing her with the virtuous socialist Dennis Skinner, who apparently has not missed a parliamentary session for 40 years. Big deal. What’s he done apart from sit there scowling?

  30. 52
    illogical says:

    OT. Good luck with the nads, Nads?
    I must assume Guido refers to Nadine using Oz’s famed beauty product for the inevitable bikini line photos that will be taken.
    For gentlemen wishing to follow her example of a clean, hair free result this link is not to be overlooked.

    I haven’t laughed so much in aeons

  31. 53
    splendid says:

    I’m looking forward to her having a wash down by the river and soaping up those big knockers

  32. 56
    Red Egg..... says:

    Looks like the markets are loving Obama getting back in ………

  33. 58
    Joe E says:

    Good to see Guido enraged with this folly whilst Dorries is being paid out of the public purse

  34. 59
    Red Egg..... says:

    Five live at 0500 had Richard Bacon wittering on and having orgasms over the election result…….. 1530 this afternoon he is back on Five Live broadcasting from a US bowling alley….. the man is a flocking useless hunt…… !!

    • 71
      Gonk II says:

      Likewise Simon Schama on this morning. He was so excited I thought he
      was going to self-pollute on air.

    • 113
      G. 'Top of the pops' Kauffmann says:

      The cnut Bacon once described himself as ‘A minor celebrity’ – I dispute the ‘celebrity’.

  35. 63
    Tit Watch says:

    She’ll get them babies out under the waterfall, I’m confident of that.

  36. 64
    Nads says:

    Breast relief, £50.

  37. 66
    smoggie says:

    Used to work in Brisbane – I bet that shot was taken in the Botanical Gardens, which is right in the city centre.

  38. 69
  39. 73
    New Statesman feminist says:
  40. 74
    Patrick Power says:

    No chance I’m sorry to say.

    I’m a Celebrity Outright: 7/2 Brian Conley 4/1 Charlie Brooks 11/2 Helen Flanagan 7/1 David Haye 14/1 Eric Bristow:

    • 82
      Andy Coulson says:

      Isn’t Charlie Brooks Rebekah’s old man?

      Oy Vey,is he messhugah ?

      • 107
        Anonymous says:

        Charlie Brooks is a woman. She is on Eastenders. Do you think Rebbekahs husband would go on this rubbish when you consider how much she got as a pay off from Murdoch ? wake up at the back.

  41. 76
    Tom Catesby says:

    F**k Parliament! Yes we can!(yes we would)

  42. 79
    Patrick Power says:

    Alright then,here we go fellas.

    Nadine Dorries Specials Hide
    Singles Only. Applies to the duration of the series. Dorries quote must be broadcast.
    Local constituency party to announce that she will not be the candidate at next general election
    To join UKIP before the next general election
    To receive the most bushtucker trials
    To quit the show of her own accord
    To be eliminated by public vote first
    To to Strictly Come Dancing 2013

  43. 89
    Anonymous says:

    Is she really only 55?

  44. 91
    Nuts says:

    Is she really only 55?

  45. 94
    Nuts says:

    Bloody photoshop working overtime on the old croc if you ask me

  46. 104
    Sir Winston Churchill says:

    Spinning in my grave.

  47. 105
    Kebab travel update says:

    Please be careful if you are going to be driving on the A127 where it meets the M25 J27. A horse is currently loose.

  48. 108
    Dont't panic! Don't panic! says:

    RIP Clive Dunn, age 92. Bless ‘im.

    • 115
      Red Egg..... says:

      Just wondering how long before someone makes a sex allegation against him??

    • 120
      Dont panic dont panic says:

      A much loved comedy character.
      RIP Clive

    • 122
      Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

      Don’t panic, don’t panic.

      They don’t like it up ‘em Captain Mainwaring.

    • 124
      Marmite says:

      Yes ‘Don’t panic’. Clive Dunn came from a more gentle era. Oh to have those days back. It’s just a bleeding free for all these days.

      RIP Clive.

      • 146
        Bollox says:

        A more gentle era ? You sure about that as we seem to be spending all our resources on setting up inquiries into what went on behind the scenes during this “more gentle era”.

  49. 110
    An MP says:

    I have and I still do! Lovely, fuck off plebs!

  50. 121
    Jimmy says:

    ITV has suspended Lily Savage after it emerged she is to take time off from its jungle-based reality show I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here to serve as MP for Mid Bedfordshire

    Her decision to become the first serving contestant to take part in the legislature, which features famous faces performing in stunts that in the past have included handing over control of the country’s media to Rupert Murdoch, destroying the NHS and making George Osborne Chancellor of the Exchequer, could keep her off TV for a month.

    Colleagues reacted with surprise and she faced a barrage of criticism. By early evening, ITV had confirmed that the producers had withdrawn the invitation from Savage, who did not ask them for permission to take part.

    A spokesperson said: “We … will have an urgent meeting with her when she gets back. The concern is that she will not be getting sufficient publicity in the meantime.”

    The former Chick Lit “writer” Louise Mental, who gave up her drug habit to spend two years as an MP, was among those who took to Twitter to criticise Savage’s decision.

    “Nothing sadder than a celebrity, or ex-celebrity, in parliament,” she said. “Just imagining the scene in my agent’s office if I said I wanted to skip making proper money for weeks to go on the Parliament Channel. Again.”

    She added: “Lily pretending that a serious issue like abortion rights is why she did this is the lowest of the low. Indefensible stuff.”

  51. 135
    moby dick says:

    shes joined the green party

  52. 138
    6 Months behind. says:

    Guido this kind of article is really trivial and shallow, the next thing we know you will be pimping yourself on a dowmarket tabloid run by a pornographer.

  53. 141
    Ehtch says:

    Nads Dorries, jesus chroist! Reality TV reaches Tory HQ – we are doomed.

    I’d shag it though.

  54. 143
    Blakey says:

    When will it all end?

  55. 148
    Mighty Mucky Westminster says:

    Looking very Milfy but sadly lacking in the nipps department, maybe getting a bit hot wet and sweaty will help.

  56. 150
    Max says:

    Waiting to see her noshing something exotic

  57. 155
    Bernard Jenkin says:

    You just know she’s such a dirty bitch. I bet she loves a cock in each hole. I bet she shags like a Minx.

  58. 156
    George says:

    Have to admit, I’ve always had a thing for Nadine. I might actually watch the show just as an excuse to look at her body ;)

  59. 158
    Cllr Big Boy says:

    Is Dorries the female Tory MP who was banging a young Councillor in a hotel room, that was videoed by the Whips?

  60. 159
    Anonymous says:

    The Claire Short of the Conservative Party but without the intellect. Collect your P45 money grubbing Hunt.

  61. 162
    Owner of a Hairy Magnet says:

    You guys are just sexist pigs and as vile as savile was.

  62. 163
    Brown out and PAY ME DAMAGES. I am fed up with ugly, immature, mong. What is there to like? says:

    Very tiresome.

  63. 166
    Moby dick says:

    Daily star


  64. 171
    Disco Biscuit says:

    Well that’s been PhotoShopped.

  65. 172
    Anonymous says:

    I know I need help but I would be up that like a rat up a drainpipe.

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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

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