November 7th, 2012

FBU Get Figures Burnt

The Fire Brigades Union have released a nice inflammatory poster for bonfire week. In an uncharacteristic bout of originality, they have rounded on “the cuts”. Unsurprisingly, their rhetoric is nothing more than a load of hot air:

“The stark reality is that these cuts will kill people. Fire service or funeral service? Let your MP know which you’d prefer.”

Only that isn’t the stark reality at all. Government statistics show that fire-related deaths have been on a downward trend for three decades and now stand at their lowest level since the 1950s. In the last ten years alone the number of fire-related incidents in England halved. What’s more, fire and rescue authorities have been asked to find savings of only 2.2% in 2011-12 and just 0.5% in 2012-13.

Union scaremongering? Whatever next…


  1. 1
    Alpine car radio says:

    Can I fiddle while Rome burns?

  2. 2
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am making paper aeroplanes with Sylvester McCoy

  3. 3
    None of the above says:

    Firemen, they all have fucking two jobs anyway. They will just have to put up the prices for painting and decorating, or play less snooker when working at the station.

    My heart bleeds for them

  4. 4
    Penis Macshame says:

    I’ll raise this at the next PMQs.

  5. 5
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Fewer fire related deaths = probably fewer call outs = less need for firemen.

    Get your matches and start arsoning about, lads! Your leaders’ pensions depend on it.

    p.s. the FBU ‘s the communist run one if I recall?

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    You know what kills more people? Fat firemen who can’t run 50ft without collapsing and skinny lady firemen who can’t lift a person out of a burning building.

    But, of course, we must be equal and diverse…

  7. 7
    Erskine May says:

    We get flamed enough here.

  8. 8
    Compare the slimeball says:

    especially when it comes to motor insurance – simples !

  9. 9
    The Yorkshire Ripper, Broadmoor. says:

    I’ve heard that I am a Jimmy Savile suspect.

    That’s fucking disgusting!

  10. 10
    None of the above says:


    And as if by magic, just in time to prove that Judge led enquiries get right to the BOTTOM of the issue, and then do something entirely different…

    Hang your heads you government bastardos

  11. 11
    FBU says:

    Can we have some new gym equipment, board games, dart boards, dominoes, computer games, comfy armchairs, coffee machines, beds…and high power sunbeds would be nice too. Thanks.

  12. 12
    Jimmy says:

    “In an uncharacteristic bout of originality, they have rounded on “the cuts”.”

    So you’re complaining about a typo?

  13. 13
    Dick Scratcher says:

    I blame oven chips for the lack of fires.

  14. 14
    Joss Taskin says:

    Afghanistan. Shouldn’t the headline read ‘ Labour-instigated invasion of Afghanistan ‘ ?

  15. 15
    Cuthbert Gaddabout says:

    Well the cuts are meaning the authorities are shutting down rural fire stations and getting rid of retained fire fighters –

    So whatever way you want to try and spin it – its gonna take longer for the fire fighters to get to you.

    The reason less people die in fires is partly because the technology to fight fires has improved and partly because fire prevention technology is being built into more and more buildings.

    It has nothing to do with less firefighters being able to provide the same level of fire fighting cover.

    But hey, why let the facts get in the way of a bit of union bashing eh?

  16. 16
  17. 17
    gramma says:

    Perhaps a case of the FBU’s spite being worse than their sparks

  18. 18
    Wayne and Waynetta says:

    Oven chips!! Ya posh bastard. More like micro chips for t’bairns while we have ciggies and booze

  19. 19
    None of the above says:

    the c_unts?

  20. 20
    None of the above says:

    My monika speaks for itself, but I would add …

    “Voted for by the rest of the vermin”

  21. 21

    According to the BBC Obama has won because he was supported buy overwhelming numbers of women and Hispanic voters. {And presumably a large subset of Hispanic women voters}

    So…if it all goes tits up, you know who to blame.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    So the fire brigade are only there for deaths. It is like saying the Police are only there for murders.

    In our little village that will lose their retained firestation there have been a number of serious arson incidents recently. Even at the current levels they were ill equipped to deal with the events. Today is the re-opening of the last business that was burnt down. Now with limited hilly access, and the next engine the other side of the nearest town, are we simply sacrificial.

  23. 23
    jgm2 says:

    They could supplement their income by running a car wash during the 98% of time they’re sitting around or playing volleyball.

  24. 24
    None of the above says:

    Wow, so technology is changing the way people work and its just affecting snooker semi pros Firemen. Blimey I never knew

  25. 25
    jgm2 says:

    I think the racist bl*ack voters who were unable to put colour aside and voted 95% for Omaha may have helped too.

    Imagine if 95% of white voters had voted for Romney. Just because he’s white. There’d be fucking hell on. All we’d be hearing about was how racist white americans are. But 95% of bl*acks vote for Omaha and nobody bats an eyelid.

    95%. Jesus. You couldn’t normally get 95% of people to agree that the earth revolves around the sun.

  26. 26
    I don't n e e d no doctor says:

    No doubt the posters were using tax payers money, so as to peddle more union / labour lies.

  27. 27
    The Public says:

    So how close is your nearest A&E?

    More people need a hospital at some point than a fire engine

  28. 28

    Didn’t the firefighters have one of the least effective strikes during the Blair years.
    A shut down of the service and threats of all sorts of Armageddon.

    Nothing much happened and the FBU had to concede, IIRC?

  29. 29
    I don't n e e d no doctor says:

    or pool, or making sandwiches etc. Why not get them sewing mail bages while they wait for an incident. I know fireman of old, lazy bastards.

  30. 30
    jgm2 says:

    The other obvious reason less people die in fires is because we have a lot less open fires in houses these days. Most people now have gas or electric heaters instead of a fucking great blaze going in the middle of the room.

  31. 31
    The Papal Bullocks says:

    It doesn’t

  32. 32
    Earl of Croydon says:

    Complete coblers

  33. 33
    Mitt Chimney says:

    My name is Mitt Chimney and I endorse this message

  34. 34
    I don't n e e d no doctor says:

    That Caroline Flint was on the Daily Politics. What a stuck-up, chip on the shoulder, arrogant cow. Why are all labour MPs the same.

  35. 35
    Sally Bercow says:

    Oh I go all giddy when I see a man in uniform.

    John gets his ‘outfits’ from the Army & Navy stores and he is just the right size for a Japanese General

  36. 36
    Earl of Croydon says:

    Your average fireman/firelady ends up with no more than a blister from sitting on his/her arse from a career than H and S prevent him…oops or her from getting too close to a fire in case they get…wait for it…. burnt!!!!!!

    Its the cushiest job known to man.

  37. 37
    Ex-voter says:

    Just because the management is out of control does not mean that the services can be withdrawn.

    It is just like the EU. Send in the funds to a country. Change its behaviour values over 10 years and then condemn it for its new life style and take it over.

    Feed to destroy.

    This country has to many obese institutions. “Food” goes in, but no productivity is required.

  38. 38
    I don't n e e d no doctor says:

    Just what happened in the UK between 1997 and 2010 ? Cant’t find any record of this period in the BBC, Guardian or Labour archives.

  39. 39
    Your Friendly Neighbourhood Fire Brigade Historical Overview Service says:

    Buckoke v GLC, back in the early 70’s– Firefighters working to rule wanted to have the operators of the responding firefighting apparatus stop at every red light and wait for the green. They claimed that according to the law, they could get a traffic violation on their records for blowing through a red light; dearie me, can’t have that on our records. The Council said, come off it. It went to court, where Lord Denning said to the firefighters, in effect, who are you trying to bullshit here? No firefighter was ever cited for such a violation absent an accident, nor have the police ever been instructed to give out such traffic citations, so what are you lads bitching about? Technically though, they were right. And Parliament soon thereafter passed a bill that said they could do so. But this will give you some idea of how dedicated to saving lives and property firefighters really can be, come right down to it.

  40. 40
    jgm2 says:

    Was she apologising for her Labour government totally fucking up the UK economy?

    Thought not.

  41. 41
    Sparkler says:

    During the last Firepersons [sic] strike, a fireman was prosecuted and sent to jail for arson, that’s solidarity for you.

  42. 42
    Gordon Brown says:

    Oh no it isn’t.

  43. 43
    SaltPetre says:

    Firemen cash in on the ‘halo effect’ of their profession….just like fat lazy slut nurses who expect us to regard them as ‘angels’ worthy of endless praise.

  44. 44
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Any organisation that claims it can’t find cuts of 2.2% and 0.5% is lying.

    Every organisation has some fat, duplication or excess admin somewhere. It’s like councils closing libraries when they have executive members being paid twice or more, the amount they saved by closing a library.

    The people playing politics with peoples lives is the FBU.

  45. 45
    jgm2 says:

    I don’t think it’s the fires that would bother me. It would be cutting people out of crashed c*a*r*s that would turn my stomach.

  46. 46
    Ed Balls says:

    I get mine from Army and Navy too!

    Any new Sturmbannführer outfits in today?

  47. 47
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    * are the FBU.

  48. 48
    jgm2 says:

    Indeed. Nobody gives the same kudos to farmers or lorry dr*iv*ers without who we’d all starve to death in a couple of weeks.

  49. 49
    Bogeyman says:

    She also has a bad case of blackheads and zits. Not doing her five a day perhaps.

  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

    Same town down the hill. But we have multiple doctors and nurses in the modern village surgery and a local helicopter.

    We do have a few buckets and an old ladder, so I assume it will be OK, when they have the large tourist numbers in the summer.

  51. 51
    Bogeyman says:

    From Prospects, “the UK’s official graduate careers website”:

    Starting salary for a trainee firefighter is £21,157. When full competence is achieved, this rises to £28,199. Higher rates apply for overtime.

    Crew manager salaries range from £29,971 (development) to £31,263 (competent) and watch manger salaries range from £31,940 – £34,961.

    A station manager’s earning potential is between £36,365 and £40,109 plus overtime rates, subject to the officer’s level of competence.

    Further advancement to the role of group manager and then area manager attracts salaries of between £41,881 and £53,934, depending on the level of competence. (All salary data collected June 2010, FBU.)

    Some other points…

    Firefighters work on average a 42-hour week and usually work in shifts – most work two day shifts followed by two night shifts and then have four days off.

    Self-employment/freelance work may be possible, depending on shift patterns, but is more likely to occur after retirement. Opportunities might include consultancy or training.

    Male firefighters are not permitted to have beards, sideburns or moustaches since they could prevent the breathing apparatus facemask from working effectively.

  52. 52
    Herman Achille Van Rompuy says:

    or MEPs

  53. 53
    Shami Shag rab arti says:

    No beards but what about our dear muslin brethren who wish to save lives?

  54. 54
    Wattock Hunt says:

    Oi – leave them alone. Who would clean my windows otherwise. And shopping centres would look dull with no Christmas decorations – all put up by moonlighting firemen.

  55. 55
    jgm2 says:

    ISTR they have a final salary pension scheme which, due to the ‘dangerous’ nature of their job, they can claim at 45 like north sea oil construction divers.

    The usual trick is for them to be promoted for the last six months to the most ludicrous salary they think they can get away with and then retire with their pension linked to that higher, final, wholly artificial salary.

  56. 56
    It's Political Correctness gorn mad says:

    And why are women allowed to have beards? Why is it only men who must shave?

  57. 57
    Mixing your metaphors says:

    Town or Village make your bloody mind up, unless you live in Midsomer and are called John Nettles and in that case I claim my 5 free decorating quotes.

  58. 58
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Exactly. Plus, fewer people smoke and electrical applicances are now supplied with fitted plugs instead of leaving the idiotic populace to connect the blue core to live, the green’n’yellow to neutral and, having snipped the brown core too short, just attach it to the nearest pin.

  59. 59
    Fireman Sam says:

    Any rumours that I am helping the BBC with their internal Savile enquiries are completely false. It’s Postman Pat who’s under investigation, not me.

  60. 60
    Snaplegs says:

    No she submitted her 5 claims for today before breakfast

  61. 61 says:

    They think our money is their’s to burn.

  62. 62
    A reasonable but angry man says:

    I’m afraid the facts about our brave firemen speak for themselves. And not just those in the article. Seek them out. The amount spent on sick pay and absence; pensions vs salaries; pay-offs; and so on so on. The retirement age and last-century benefits, both in service and in retirement. The huge queue to join (always a sign of spoiled over-rewarded profession). The number of firemen ‘promoted’ in their last year of service to qualify for a better pension, at the tax-payers’ expense. The second jobs. No, I’m afraid it has to be said that our shroud-waving firemen have become experts in duping the public about the danger of their essential jobs. It’s no accident that the Police call them ‘fire fairies’ as they exploit Health and Safety to avoid doing anything even remotely risky, while the worshipping public die. Worth speculating what 9/11 would have been like if the UK Fire Service had been on duty in New York, rather than the astonishing NYFD (and I was once a soldier). Their time will come.

  63. 63
    Anonymous says:

    In a certain environment people were told it was right to make expense claims for property and activities they never did. This was fine for years. They just needed to make the values up to an amount, as it was their right and a substitute for a pay rise.

    The political tide changed and suddenly a widespread activity was deemed wrong.

    What do you think would happen if we started employing stupid low paid firemen and they started killing more people on the way to the fire than they saved.

    The political tide would change and all those high paid firemen would be suddenly getting traffic tickets and be forced out of the system.

    The legal system is a joke if it encourages illegal acts. There is a transcript of a case where the Judge encouraged a law abiding person to do an illegal act so that it could be considered by the court. It is all in the transcripts.

  64. 64
    James Whale says:

    If the Fire Brigades did not have to advertise for a diverse workforce and were not insisted on holding 3 open days for ethnic minority applicants which produced 1 applicant maybe that could be the sought after.

  65. 65 says:

    The public sector is the only place where they expect to have more money for doing much less work. Try doing that in the private sector and see how long your company lasts.

  66. 66
    Rat's arse says:

    My old Grand-dad used to say ‘never trust a person with a gap in their front teeth. Don’t know why he said it, but Caroline Flint proves he was right.

  67. 67
    Alan McLean says:

    My name is Alan McLean, President of the FBU and I wholly endorse this comment.

  68. 68

    How can it revolve around the SUN!! For is it not said, by JEEASUS CHEEE-RIST hisself, that the earth is the centre of Gods creations??!!

    Is this apparent… I SAY, BOY, APPARENT, revolving of this most precious of all of God’s wonders around the hellish fires of the SUN, merely a test of our faith? And are you failing Gods holy test, bruthers an’ sista’s?

    For is it not said that it is not the healthy who needst the physician, but those that are sick.

    Now go out and spread the latest word of JEEE_ASUS CHEEEEE-RIST, afore it gits changed agin.

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

    Slowly, Village up hill. Town down hill.

    Quite simple, but it could be quite unusual for some. Maybe that is the issue. The decision was done by someone with no knowledge of the area.

  70. 70
    Rat's arse says:

    So do I Alan. Well said ‘R.B.A’.

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    Bad internal management is not an excuse to remove services to the public.

  72. 72
    Socialism = starvation says:

    Had a fire false alarm at work once, caused by builders incompetence. Fire Brigade turned up, women started coo-ing, and it turned out that the builders were Fire Brigade staff working off duty.

  73. 73
    Mornington Crescent says:

    This is more my generation:

  74. 74
  75. 75
    dunstall says:

    And mu funeral business will go bust having to employ full timr sidesmen

  76. 76
    dunstall says:

    Hopefully he too believes in the Kamikaze ethos

  77. 77
    Rita Red says:

    Lazy, workshy, greedy pricks

  78. 78
    Pillock hunter says:

    Why do you not voluntarily withdraw your support? Next time you or your house is on fire, don’t call. That will send a strong message.

  79. 79
    A Car Crash says:

    They may have less fires to put out nowadays.

    But they have far more work cutting people out of vehicles and
    preventing fires at serious accidents. So they should take it easy
    waiting to put themselves at risk.

    Shame on anyone saying it is easy to be a firefighter.

  80. 80
    Taxi Driver says:

    You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talking… you talking to me?

  81. 81
    Barack Obama says:

    It sure doesn’t. The sun still shines out of my backside…

  82. 82
    Earl of Croydon says:

    Come along J2M, having successfully cut said victim out of car, the fireperson will then recieve something in the region of three month full paid leave due to the trauma they recieved. Meanwhile his/her window cleaning round shows a huge upturn in takings.

  83. 83
    Eeyore says:

    ‘Slash and burn’ always sounds like the chief symptom of infection of the urinary tract.

  84. 84
    A pedant writes... says:

    Fewer fires, dear boy, not less.

    If you can count them, it’s ‘fewer'; if you can’t, it’s ‘less’.

  85. 85
    Eeyore says:

    Those would be the same police who won’t go into water to rescue people without a risk assessment, would they?

  86. 86
    Eeyore says:

    Think about how the rural Yanks and Aussies do it. Raise money by local, public subscription and man the station/appliances voluntarily. No interference from the ‘authorities’ and lower taxes as a result.

  87. 87
    Fbuser says:

    can’t believe no newspaper hasn’t looked into the fact that numerous FBU members are serial tax avoiders doing odd jobs like decorating and gardening and window cleaning for cash in their spare time when not in the gym at the fire station.

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    Has Guido ever wondered whether the reduction in fire incidents might have been related to the work of the fire service? Quoting future cut levels is irrelevant if they are already chronically underfunded, and doubly so if these are the latest in a long series of cuts.

  89. 89
    Blue Light says:

    Thr Fire Brigade’s threat that you will burn unless you comply with their requests is a disgrace.

    I previously served for over 15 years as a Branch Chair with the Ambulance Service’s Union and throughout various disputes, we never removed the Emergency Service facility. Everything of a 999 nature was attended to.

    These Fire Service Fairies need to get real. It may be their house that is on fire whilst they protest.

  90. 90
    Harriet says:

    Surely the most important thing is that hte Fire Service (not Brigade please) should be more inclusive. Why are there not more gay fire fighters or firefighters that are more gay? Why are ther no petite female Asian firefighters and why o why are there no limbless fire fighting persons? I blame Fatcher.

  91. 91
    Anonymous says:

    Perhaps more effnics would apply if allowed to carry a knife or handgun to the open days.

  92. 92
    Anonymous says:

    You don’t understand how governments can spin the figures, if someone is rescued from a house fire and they are suffering from smoke inhalation if they die later in hospital then they haven’t died from that fire so your fire deaths are greatly reduced! So they are cutting your fire service cutting your council tax?

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